Disclaimer: SVU and all of its characters were created by and are the property of Dick Wolf. I make no profit with this story, which is my own original work.

Olivia's afternoon nap had not been as productive as what both she and Elliot had been hoping for. The first interruption had come not long after she had dozed off, in the form of Dr. Campbell. However, the visit was not altogether an unwelcome one, as the cardiologist was there to report on the continued improvement of her cardiac function. So much so, in fact, that if things remained stable for the next twenty four hours, Olivia would be able to have the heart monitor removed the day after tomorrow. This was the most definitive answer she had ever been given regarding her recovery process, and Olivia held on to the beacon of positivity with everything she was worth.

After the physician had left, Olivia had attempted to fall back asleep for a second time, despite the excitement she and Elliot were both feeling in regard to the news they had been given. It just seemed that the odds were not in her favor regarding her getting additional rest today, because no sooner had she gotten comfortable again, than Dr. Abrhams appeared in the doorway. As much as she wanted to be annoyed by yet another interference in her efforts to try and sleep, Olivia was eager to see what the reports were in regard to how she had fared at her first dialysis session that morning.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much to be said just yet, which was disappointing – even if it made sense. Of course it would take more than one treatment before it would be obvious whether or not any progress in healing had made. What Olivia was able to learn, however, was what her schedule would like. She would be receiving dialysis five days a week, but only while inpatient. Upon her eventual discharge, she would be transferred to a maintenance program, and only need to go three days out of seven.

As always, Olivia was grateful for Elliot's presence, and once she was left alone again with her partner, her head was swimming with all of the information she had been trying to take in at once. For the first time, Olivia became aware of something she hadn't noticed before – and it made her heart fill with gratitude. Elliot was taking notes, and from the look of things, he'd been doing it for several days now. Balanced on his nap was a single subject spiral bound tablet filled with details that he'd been gathering from the doctors, likely things that Olivia herself wouldn't even be able to remember if she tried.

"Thanks, El."

"What for?"

"Everything."

Reaching out to take her hand in his, Elliot squeezed gently, cautious of the IV line.

"You don't have to thank me for that, Liv."

"I know I don't, but I still want you to know how much everything you've been doing means to me."

Elliot's features softened, and he couldn't bear being so far away. Moving closer, he perched on the edge of the bed by Olivia's hip, mindful of her personal space, but needing to be nearer. As carefully as he knew how, he wrapped his partner in a embrace, pulling her close to his body in a gesture of comfort and support.

"I'll do anything for you. Anything."

"I know. I believe you. I'd do the same for you."

Just as he was about to repeat a memory – a promise of sorts – that he had made back in the early days of their partnership, Elliot heard something odd that caught his attention, and he had to resist the urge to shout for joy. Fighting back a smile, he peered into Olivia's eyes, not letting her avoid his gaze.

"Did your stomach just growl, Benson?"

"Maybe."

Hugging her again, Elliot punctuated the show of affection by pressing his lips to his partner's forehead. Despite her hesitant admission, he knew she was just as thrilled as he about the development. No matter how minor, it marked the first time she had shown signs of hunger outside of regular meals in months.

"Do you think you could ask one of my nurses for something I can nibble on? If I remember right from what Erica told us, I believe I'm allowed to have graham crackers. I might be able to manage that. They shouldn't be too heavy, and I doubt they would spoil my dinner."

"Of course I will. I'll be right back. Did you want something to drink, too?"

Olivia considered the question carefully, before ultimately shaking her head.

"I'd better not. I'll get by with just a few sips of water. I want to save what little liquid I'm allowed, and maybe have some lemonade with dinner."

Nodding his agreement, Elliot kissed Olivia's forehead again, then went out into the hall in search of her snack.

Not long after Olivia had finished eating her graham crackers – albeit a tiny package containing only three squares, but it was a start – the doorway to her room was filled with even more visitors. Unlike the numerous medical personnel that came and went throughout her days here at the hospital, however, these guests were more than welcome. Olivia's face brightened for the first time in days, save for those occasions when Elliot had made her laugh.

"Cap! Fin! Munch! It's so good to see you!"

It was almost comedic watching the way the three men who meant so much to her tripped all over themselves in their efforts to get through the entrance and to her bedside. If Olivia didn't know better, she would say that it was almost as if they were in competition with one another as to who among them would get to hug her first. That was also the point that she noticed that none of their arms were empty. Each of her beloved colleagues – even her Captain – had come bearing a gift.

Whether it was because they were deferring to his superiority, or merely because it was an acknowledgment of the surrogate father role that Cragen tended to play in Olivia's life, Fin and Munch hung back by the wall, and allowed their Captain to greet her first. There was no mistaking the concern written on the older man's features, nor the apparent relief at seeing how much better his Detective was doing- even if she still had a long road to go before she was declared completely healed.

"It's good to see you, Olivia. I think it goes without saying that you gave all of us a scare. I'm so glad that you're improving."

"Thanks, Cap. It's good to see you, too. I'm sorry about missing work."

At that point, Don Cragen didn't know whether he should laugh or cry. The statement – and apology – were so wholly Olivia Benson, but at the same time, it broke his heart. To think that after all these years, she only believed her worth mattered in regard to what she was able to contribute as a Detective. Even though he had only met the woman once, it made him curse Serena Benson, and the lasting psychological damage she had inflicted upon her daughter. It also made him eternally grateful that he had been able to overcome his own demons and maintain his sobriety. Squeezing his Detective's hand, Cragen tried not to admonish Olivia too harshly.

"I don't want you to worry about that. You've always been there to pick up the slack for anyone who's ever needed it. Let others return the favor for you now."

"Yes, sir."

Though he was reluctant to break contact so soon, Cragen was mindful that he wasn't the only one there to visit Olivia, and stepped back to allow Fin and Munch access to the bed. The elder of the two remaining men stepped forward first, and while he was normally well known for his stoicism and acerbic wit, John Munch was obviously wearing his heart on his sleeve today. All the same, that didn't stop him from cracking a few jokes.

"You know, Olivia, if you didn't want me to make the coffee anymore, all you needed to do was say so. This was a bit dramatic, don't you think?"

Laughing, Olivia opened her arms, inviting the man in for a rare hug.

"You know me. I like to make a statement. That being said, if you're offering to step back from the coffeepot when I return-"

"Only for you. Hell, I'll buy you the good stuff from the cart outside every day. All you need to do is come back."

"I'm working on it, John."

John squeezed her hand, and lowered his ever-present sunglasses just enough with his other so she could see his sly wink.

"I know you are, kid. Whatever picked a fight with you doesn't know who they are messing with. Give 'em hell."

Unable to form a response, Olivia could only nod her assent, as she tried to swallow down the lump in her throat.

The last to approach her bed was Fin, and though he, too, was a man who didn't often show emotion easily, it was obvious that her friend was struggling. Much like she had with Elliot, she and Odafin Tutuola had formed a bond early on once he had arrived at SVU, and the other Detective had had her back on more than one occasion. Olivia would even go so far as to say that she was closer with Fin that she was with her biological brother, Simon.

"Listen, Liv. It's not a secret that Elliot has already made a promise to take care of you in a worse case scenario, but I want you to know that you can count on me, too. We may not be the same blood type, but I know people. If it comes down to it, and you need a kidney, just say the word."

As though realizing what he'd just said, Fin glanced over at the Cragen, and tried to explain.

"It's all above board, Cap, I promise."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

There were several moments of silence while everyone in the room pretended that Fin hadn't just admitted that he would do whatever was necessary to procure a kidney for Olivia if the measures got to that extreme, and it wasn't until the woman in the hospital bed broke first and began laughing that the rest joined in. Olivia looked around at all those surrounding her, and her heart grew full. No matter what anyone else said, she knew the truth. This was her family.

The visit with the men she worked with had done wonders for raising Olivia's spirits. In truth, she would have liked for them to have stayed longer, but she knew none of them were going to overstay their welcome. Once she started showing the first signs of fatigue, they made their excuses to leave, but not without promising to return again as soon as possible. Leaving Olivia with her gifts – a bouquet of flowers from Cragen, a book on conspiracy theories from Munch, and an adult oriented set of coloring pages filled with swear words from Fin. Her friend had given her a knowing grin upon presenting her with them, along with a box of colored pencils.

"I'm willing to bet you've uttered more than a few of these while you've been here in the hospital. Might as well make it interesting."

"Thanks, Fin."

After the men had left, Olivia was left on her own temporarily. Elliot had walked out with their coworkers, but would only be gone long enough to grab himself something from the cafeteria so he could eat dinner with his partner. Left to her own devices, Olivia decided to take advantage of her time alone and ring for someone to help her to the bathroom. It wasn't that she'd been waiting for an uncomfortably long time – she'd already been warned about the dangers of that – but rather that she wanted to make sure she had taken care of all of her needs before her meal tray arrived.

As it turned out, J.T. was the aide in charge of her care tonight, and Olivia was relieved to see them again. They had been so nice the other day, and their personality had immediately put Olivia at ease.

"Did you need something, Olivia?"

"Just some help to the bathroom, please."

"No problem at all. Happy to be of assistance."

The pair chatted while JT was disconnecting Olivia from all the various apparatus that monitored her health conditions. While the news hadn't come directly from her doctor, Olivia took it to heart when JT mentioned that the possibility was high that if she continued to improve after being taken off the heart monitor, it was likely they would reduce the other equipment as well. The next to be eliminated might be the device that maintained proper circulation on her legs. Even with the IV, that would afford her the ability to travel the halls, and the additional movement would be good for regaining her strength as well. Olivia thanked JT for the advice, and made a mental note to bring up the topic when she saw Dr. Campbell the following day.

Once she was settled back in bed, Olivia pulled the tray table over so it would be ready for her use. No sooner had she done so, than someone from dietary was bringing in her dinner. Offering a smile and a word of thanks, she didn't even have time to inspect her food before Elliot reappeared in her room, out of breath and an apology written on his face.

"Sorry, Liv. There was some kind of issue with the visitor elevators. I had to take the stairs up, or I'd have been back a lot sooner."

"Don't worry about it, El. How many flights did you have to climb, anyway?"

Setting his drink on one corner of the tray, Elliot pulled his chair closer to Olivia's bed and made himself comfortable. Giving his partner a knowing grin, he explained the cause for his shortness of breath.

"Well, you are on the eleventh floor. A bit of an improvement than when you were on the fourteenth when you were in ICU."

"I'm sorry."

Refusing to let Olivia feel bad about something he would have done anyway – not to mention the fact that he was willing to do so much more on her behalf – Elliot reached for her hand and squeezed gently.

"Don't do that. Don't feel guilty. All those stairs were nothing – other than a reminder that I maybe need to get back to the gym. I don't want you worrying about it, okay?"

"I hear you."

Nodding his head, Elliot considered the matter dropped, and focused his attention back on the subject of dinner.

"So what did the master chefs send up for you this evening?"

Laughing, Olivia reached for the plastic cloche that covered her plate.

"Well, I was getting sick of grilled chicken, so I opted for something different tonight – but I still didn't know what I could and couldn't have in regard to the renal diet, so it was a bit of a gamble."

"It doesn't look that bad."

In truth, it didn't. According to notes on the slip that had been sent with her meal, only a few variations had been applied. The baked fish required no modifications. In lieu of the side of buttered noodles she had requested, they were instead prepared with margarine. The only thing that had stayed the same in regard to previous items Olivia had ordered was the steamed vegetables. That and the sixteen ounce bottle of water that was on her tray that she planned on adding a packet of lemonade mix to.

Before she could start eating, and probably a good thing too, because the idea of waiting until her blood sugar could be checked had slipped her mind – Olivia's nurse came into the room. After taking care of what needed to be done, she also made a note of the additional liquid, adding it to her patient's total intake for the day. Olivia wasn't worried, though, because she had every intention of making that lemonade last as long as possible.

When they were finally able to start eating, the partners enjoyed a companionable meal together. Elliot had taken a page out of Olivia's notebook, and selected a lean protein and vegetables for his dinner. Naturally, Olivia noticed this, but wisely chose not to comment. A part of her couldn't help but wonder if Elliot's dietary choices had more to do with trying to ensure his body would be ready to be there for her should she need it than actually taking care of himself, but she didn't have the mental energy to focus on that. Instead, she just enjoyed the company, and how nice it was to not have to eat alone.

With Olivia's attention span improving, the partners were able to play a few hands of cards after dinner, and the distraction was most welcome. Much as she had promised herself, Olivia had indeed made the lemonade last, and she was still drinking from the bottle by the time Elliot had needed to say his goodbyes for the night once visiting hours had ended. He promised to return the following day, with the reminder not to arrive until closer to lunch, as Olivia would be having dialysis yet again in the early morning.

Once she was on her own, Olivia tried to to think of a way to pass the time. Although a part of her was indeed tired, she didn't want to fall asleep just yet, especially knowing that bedtime medications still needed to be distributed and she also had at least an hour to go until her next dose of Tylenol.

With her headache still too bothersome to concentrate on reading, but not in the mood to watch television, Olivia decided to take advantage of the gift that Fin had given her. Even though the pages were laced with profanity, the images printed on them were flowery and pretty, and it had been ages since she'd colored last. Not to mention, the pictures were large enough that it wouldn't be a strain on the eyes, either. Dragging the tray table into place, Olivia set to work coloring. There was an added benefit of the sound of the colored pencils scratching on the paper having a soothing effect. While she wasn't able to finish an entire scene, Olivia nonetheless felt accomplished with her task. By the time her night nurse came into the room to dispense her nightly medications, she was just about ready for bed.

Not long after the nurse had left, JT appeared again – apparently they were working a double shift. At Olivia's request, they helped her to the bathroom, and made sure she was appropriately settled. Familiar with Olivia's sleep habits, JT made certain to close the door behind them as they left, with the reminder that they were only a call button away.

Feeling more drowsy, and having brushed her teeth and emptied her bladder, Olivia lowered her bed into a more reclined position. She lamented the inability to sleep on her side, but the tubing from the IV made that particular position uncomfortable. Grateful at least for the fact that Elliot had brought her one of her own pillows, Olivia fluffed the cushion as best as she possibly could. Still feeling somewhat uneasy from the silence, she decided to opt for some music tonight. Reaching for her phone, Olivia found a playlist that she typically listened to when she was at her most restless, hoping it would help her relax.

After what must have been nearly an hour of trying to fall asleep – if granted the freedom to move about more, Olivia is certain she would have been tossing and turning – she was ready to scream. She wasn't sure what was bothering her tonight, but she was just about ready to pull out her hair in frustration.

Unable to focus on the wall clock across from her bed, Olivia instead chose to observe the time by looking at the display on her cell phone. Despite the way she felt, it was only just after ten PM, still relatively early considering. As much as her pride was wanting to shame her for doing so, she was willing to take a risk and call her partner, desperately needing to hear a friendly voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey, El. It's me. I hope I didn't wake you. Nothing's wrong, I just needed to hear a friendly voice."

The exhale of relief was audible, and Olivia was glad she had remembered to include that as part of the reason for her call. The last thing she would have wanted was for Elliot to panic on her behalf.

"Of course not, Liv. I'm just here watching sports highlights. What's going on?"

"I can't sleep, which is frustrating as all hell. Especially when I'm so fucking tired."

Elliot was humbled by Olivia's admission. He knew it wasn't easy for her to let her vulnerable side show, even to him. His heart also ached for his partner's discomfort, and he wanted to do whatever he could to help. Showing up at the hospital at this hour was out of the question, however, so he'd have to try and make things better by his voice alone. Unless -

"Would it help if you could see me?"

"El, it's late at night, they're not going to let you come visit."

"I know that. What I meant is, would you rather have a video call?"

"Oh. Yes, please."

With a promise to call back immediately, Elliot terminated the connection. True to his word, Olivia's display lit illuminated mere seconds later, and with a swipe of her finger, her partner's face filled her screen. Almost instantly, she felt a calm settle over her, and she knew it didn't even matter what they would talk about, only that spending this time with Elliot would bring her peace.

"So, why don't you tell me about how your evening went after I left, and then I'll fill you in on all the gossip I learned from my kids? If you're still having trouble sleeping after that, I can tell you a bedtime story. Just don't ask me to sing you a lullaby, or you're going to wind up with nightmares."

Laughing now, Olivia agreed to the deal. She only had one suggestion, that Elliot tell her about his kids first, because she wasn't in the mood for talking just yet. Easily amenable, her partner immediately agreed, and Olivia watched his face light up as he began to talk about his children.

It had truly helped Olivia to hear Elliot talk about his kids. She wasn't sure if he was even aware, but his entire demeanor transformed completely when he was in proud father mode, and she always loved to witness it. Even though she was currently hospitalized and in serious condition, tonight was no exception. Olivia had always had a soft spot in her heart for each of the Stablers, and while her connection with them varied, it was no less unique and special. That was why she loved to hear how Maureen was excelling at her job, and that Kathleen was thriving in her master's program. As for the others, Lizzie was as studious as ever, and looking forward to starting college in the fall, while Dickie was experiencing a serious case of senioritis. It wasn't that he wasn't also excited about the prospect of furthering his education – more importantly, being out on his own – but he wasn't as disciplined as his twin.

It was when Elliot was sharing a recent development with Eli that Olivia began to laugh the hardest. It was no secret how much she loved that little boy – her connection with the three year old uniquely different than that of his siblings. Olivia would always treasure having been present for the moment of Eli's entrance into the world, though to this day she would still give anything to erase the trauma that had proceeded it. It was no doubt that she and Elliot's youngest son shared a special bond indeed – whether it was because of their introduction, or the fact that he and and his father had the same name and Olivia simply had a weakness for men named Elliot Stabler – remained to be seen.

Pulled back to the present, Olivia continued to listen as Elliot regaled her with the tale of Dickie's most recent babysitting adventure. Kathy had needed to go out and run a few errands, and since her oldest son was off of work, she had asked him to watch her youngest. Having believed his little brother was taking a nap, Dickie had made himself comfortable playing video games, not yet familiar with the concept that silence was one of the worst things to hear when watching small children. It wasn't until it was too late that he had discovered the rather impressive mural his brother had created on his bedroom wall – in permanent marker no less – that he had realized his error.

"So who ended up washing the walls? Or will they need to be painted?"

"Kathy will be taking Eli to visit his grandparents next month. That's when Dickie and I will tackle the painting of the room. Unless-"

Knowing exactly where his line of thinking was headed, Olivia stopped her partner immediately.

"Don't even think it, El. You will not put me before your family. Not even for something as simple as helping Kathy out with a household chore. We don't even know at what point of my recovery I'll be at by then. If it comes down to it, I'll call someone else to keep me company while you're away."

"I hear you. I'm not going to argue."

"Well, that's a first."

The pair broke into laughter again, and Olivia felt her heart healing a little bit more. Despite all her previous doubts, she was so very glad that she had called Elliot.

"So, that's all there is to report on my end of things. How about you tell me what's going on in that head of yours, partner?"

For the first time since the video call had connected, Olivia wished that her face weren't visible. Then again, she supposed it didn't matter. Elliot could read her so easily, that even if he couldn't see her expression, he would know automatically if she weren't telling the truth. After all, he had picked up automatically that something wasn't right almost as soon as he had answered the phone. Not to mention, she had been promising herself that she would stop trying to keep her emotions bottled up. It was part of what had gotten her into this mess to begin with.

"At the risk of sounding like a crybaby, I'm just feeling miserable tonight. Don't get me wrong, the pillow you brought me from home is working wonders, but there is so much I miss. Not to mention, I was having the worst time trying to get comfortable."

Elliot's features softened, but the only thing Olivia could read on her partner's face was compassion. She didn't know why she'd had her doubts, because Elliot would never pity her. Empathy, yes – he would always show her that in abundance, but never pity.

"You're not a crybaby, Liv. You're sick. Everything that you're feeling, you are more than entitled to. I can definitely say that you are handling this better than I would ever hope to. I know I've offered before, but I just want to remind you that my offer of a back rub stands. I remember just how uncomfortable those hospital beds can be."

"I just may take you up on that tomorrow."

"All you have to do is say the word."

The pair grew quiet for a minute or two, but it wasn't an awkward silence. Rather, it was obvious to Elliot that Olivia was deep in thought, and he wanted to give her time to figure out how to phrase what she wanted to say.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow morning, El?"

"Other than going to the gym for a bit after I wake up, nothing until I come see you. I was planning on getting there in time for lunch, if that is okay."

Not wanting him to misunderstand, Olivia hurried to clarify.

"No, that's fine. I like it when we share our meals together. It takes my mind off of trying to remind myself to eat. But there was something I wanted to ask you."

"Anything, Liv. Whatever you need."

Taking a deep breath, Olivia put voice to her request before she lost her nerve.

"Do you think you could help me start searching for a new apartment tomorrow? I know I won't be able to do anything about it immediately, but I think it's a change I have to make – especially if I want to heal completely."

"Of course I will. And Liv? I want you to know how proud I am of you for realizing that."

Blinking back tears, Olivia nodded her thanks.

"I think I'm going to try to sleep again, El. I feel a lot better after having talked to you, not to mention a lot lighter after having made that decision. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night."

"You too, Liv. Just remember, you can call me any time, night or day, and I'll be there for you – always. Sleep well."

Olivia disconnected the call with Elliot, having noticed that she had spent a little more than ninety minutes talking to her partner. It wasn't that she'd told a falsehood – she did intend to try and sleep again – however there was something she needed to take care of first.

Feeling like more of annoyance than usual when she summoned help during the day, Olivia gave herself the necessary pep talk to press the call button on the side of her bed. Thankfully, wait time was minimal, and soon someone was in her room. Unlike the aide she had been expecting, however, it was instead her night nurse, and for that, Olivia was even more grateful.

"If you could please help me to the bathroom? Also, I haven't had need of it before now, but I believe my doctor has melatonin on order for me, and I'm having a lot of difficulty falling asleep tonight. Would it be possible for me to get some?"

"Of course. If you don't mind waiting a few minutes for me to return, once you are settled in the bathroom, I can run and check on that order for you. Then, I'll bring the med cart back with me, so you can take it as soon as you get back in bed."

"That would be great, thank you."

True to her word, by the time Olivia had finished and was ready to exit the bathroom, her nurse had returned. No sooner had she gotten back in bed, and reconnected to all the necessary equipment, her bracelet was being scanned and the med cart was being unlocked.

"Since you are still on a limited liquid intake, I thought you might prefer one of the chewable gummies. The other option is a sublingual tablet, but if you want my opinion, that tends to leave a bitter aftertaste."

"I'll take the gummy, please."

Much to Olivia's relief, the gummy itself had a pleasant flavor, and reminded her of the multivitamins she took on a regular basis. Thanking her nurse again, Olivia tried to make herself comfortable once more. In an additional effort to help her body relax, she turned back on some soothing music, mindful to keep the volume low. Reclining back against the pillows, Olivia closed her eyes and waited for the supplement to do its job. Eventually, her fatigue won out and she drifted off to sleep.

What little slumber Olivia was able to enjoy, however, was to be short lived. Not long after she had dozed off – or at least that was the way it had seemed – than someone had come into her room and was waking her up. Not bothering to question the time, but merely blinking against the harsh lighting that had disturbed her, Olivia tried her best not to cry out in pain as the lab technician who was attempting to draw blood struggled to find a cooperative vein. After all, what was another bruise on her already mottled skin? Truth be told, it wasn't so much the needle itself that hurt the most, but the tightness of the tourniquet that was unbearable.

After the technician had left, Olivia grumbled to herself as she tried yet again to fall back to sleep. At the rate things were going, she was going to be extremely cranky come morning, and the last thing she wanted to do was take her bad mood out on Elliot. But all these interruptions were just too much. Even the aides refrained from their every-four-hour vital signs checks during the times when people were supposed to be sleeping – at least they had now that she was more stable.

More annoyed than ever, and her anger keeping her mind from quieting down, Olivia debated whether or not she should even try to rest again. In the dim light of her room, she was just about able to make out the clock on the opposite wall, and noticed that it was just after four. Considering the fact that she'd fallen asleep sometime after midnight, she'd gotten more sleep than she'd originally guessed. It was even more sleep than she usually got when they were working a case that seemed like she should just move into the precinct altogether.

Despite what Elliot had said to her earlier, there was no way Olivia was going to call him now – no matter how much she desperately wanted to. She wasn't completely useless, she could survive on her own for a few hours longer, then maybe check in while she ate her breakfast. It was bad enough that a part of her still felt ashamed at the way her neediness had eclipsed her pride and prompted her to reach out to her partner last night, especially after having spent nearly the entire day together.

Though she was unsure as to the cause - although a part of her would have liked to believe it was thoughts of Elliot that had calmed her once more – Olivia's traitorous brain eventually quieted enough that she was able to drift off again. The sleep may not have been deep and restorative, but at least it was dreamless.