Sup everyone, Grimlock here! I posted this message in my most recent chapter of The Blade, The Bookworm, and The Fairies, but putting it here to ensure it gets around, I'm looking for a beta for my stories on Fanfiction. For those wondering, I'm still in the process of trying to get To Undo it All on AO3 returned to being publicly available.
It was a Saturday morning, not too early or too late. As had become typical since my initial return to the World of the Living, the weekend mornings were slow ones. Late starts, long breakfasts, and rarely more than a few things on the agenda. Right now, I was on the couch with Unohana and Yoruichi curled into my sides, Dad on the recliner, and Yuzu and Karin on the opposite side of Yoruichi as we all watched a movie together. Unohana, Yoruichi, and I were all wrapped in a blanket, while the twins shared a large bowl of popcorn.
We were about halfway through the movie, about some adventurous cat realizing he was on his last life and going on a journey to wish his lives back when my phone rang. Grumbling at having to pull my arm away from wrapping around Yoruichi, I leaned forward to pick it up off the coffee table. Flipping it open, I didn't recognize the number on the screen, but shrugged and pressed 'answer'.
"Hello?" Yuzu snatched up the remote and paused the movie, as everyone turned to me in wait.
"Is this Kurosaki Ichigo?" An old-sounding male voice asked. They sounded incredibly displeased.
"Who's asking?"
"You are to appear before Central 46 with utmost haste."
"Why?"
"You are to be tried for interfering in the business of a Great Noble Clan, by the Tsunayashiro Clan."
"Makes sense. I refuse." I hummed nonchalantly. Close enough to hear the other end of the phone, my girlfriends giggled.
"Wha- You cannot simply refuse to appear for a trial! Especially not for a Great Noble Clan!"
"Make me go, then." Was my 'simple' response.
"The audacity to- If you do not appear before Central 46, you will be relieved of your position!"
"So I'll be able to get out of paperwork? Sweet." His words did not in any way inspire me to change my mind. There was silence for a time, as who I presumed was a noble raced to come up with a threat he could use to get me to go.
"This is a serious offense, Kurosaki Ichigo, if you fail to appear, we will issue an order for your arrest."
"Okay." I accepted, absolutely unconcerned. "I'm gonna keep enjoying my Saturday, don't waste your time calling me again." Was what I finished with before I hung up, shutting the phone and turning it off. "You can play it, Yuzu."
"Okay, Onii-chan!" Before she got the chance, however, Dad voiced a question.
"What was that?"
"Great Noble Clan's pissed that I refused to let them use me," I waved off, "trying to have me punished by C46."
"That's…a really big deal, Ichigo." He spoke carefully.
"No one in C46 is actually of any substantial level of strength, if the Captains refused to execute their orders, they can't realistically force them to." I explained. "None of the Gotei Captains could actually physically force me to go, and Squad Zero exclusively take orders directly from the Soul King. Their only means of making me go is to threaten my position, which would, in practice, mean nothing. If I got demoted or removed entirely, Yamamoto would just continue routing all the appropriate paperwork to me, and everyone has enough trust in my judgment now that they would keep following my instructions. As for pay, I'm 70% sure I'm at the point where I could ask Byakuya to pay me what I'm getting now, and he would."
"Even so, are you sure it's wise to get into hot water with the Tsunayashiros?"
"I'm friends with the Clan Head of the Kuchikis and dating the older sister of the Clan Head of the Shihouins. Worst-case scenario, I have half the Noble Clans by my side as well as the Shiba Clan."
"It's still better to have more allies than less…" He reasoned. I rolled my eyes.
"Don-whatever-the-fuck just wanted to milk me for information so that he could make money telling people about the future, and his wife wanted to get into a relationship with me so that she could take advantage of my fame. Their son also gives me a bad feeling, so I figure I'm not going to be able to have any relationship with the Tsunayashiros I'm comfortable with. Having half the Great Noble Clans and 90-some-odd-percent of the Gotei at my back sounds just fine to me."
"If you're sure…" The Ex-Captain relented, adjusting himself in his seat as Yuzu finally pressed 'play'.
While the defenses Aizen and Szayel had put up in Las Noches were both useful and effective, it was mildly annoying that I couldn't open a Garganta directly inside. While you were inside, you had full freedom to make one, and Espada were also granted the privilege to make Gargantas into Las Noches, but those were the only exceptions. Gin was only granted a similar privilege to open a Senkaimon directly inside, not informed of how it worked. As it stood, its defenses were sufficiently universal that Quincy couldn't utilize shadows to go inside, so I saw no reason to tinker with it. Though I should get the kido masters and mad scientists I knew to figure the system out. Granting Captains those same permissions, or replicating anti-portal effects for the Seireitei, would be incredibly useful.
After taking a sip of tea from the to-go cup I brought with me, I let out a small, pleased sigh. Outside of the conversation I had with Yamamoto and Chojiro a while back, it was the first cup of tea I've had in years. More importantly, it was the first cup I was intentionally enjoying since the Blood War. Unohana had suggested lavender tea, so that was what I was having.
Stepping through the main gate, (which Halibel had very irately shown me after Shiro blew another hole in the wall to reach Grimmjow for his training) I was able to quickly leave the halls and enter the sand-filled main area of Las Noches. Almost immediately, I was able to recognize that there were a lot of Arrancar on the sands today, and they were very active. Checking with my reiatsu sense, the picture became very clear to me. With Nel being involved and the patterns everyone was moving in, it didn't take a genius to understand she was having an utterly incredible game of Eternal Tag. It was always her favorite. Halibel's Fracciones were amongst the group, as well as Grimmjow's. To my great joy, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow were also part of the game, as well as almost two dozen arrancar I had never met before. Halibel was, as expected for a situation like this, watching from her palace, standing on the massive balcony overlooking the sands. So as not to interrupt the game, I used flash-step to join her without alerting the group of my presence. She was standing with her arms crossed under her chest, her jacket zipped up like it usually was outside of a serious fight, and her gaze unmoving from the small crowd playing down below. I stepped up to her left side, my left hand in my pocket as my right held my tea. There was no question if she was aware of my presence, but her gaze remained on the Arrancar, so I maintained the silence and passively watched to see if I could figure out who 'It' was.
"Ulquiorra informed me of what his training consists of for Segunda Etapa." The shark stated after a few more moments of silent observation. She didn't remove her eyes from the game, so neither did I. "I'm inclined to presume that my training will be more similar to his than to Grimmjow's." I lifted my cup and took another slow sip of tea.
"Well," I started, "that is the conclusion I reached for what to do for you." For a moment, I paused, collecting my thoughts. "To be forthright with you, I don't really know what to do for you. Did Ulquiorra explain what the method is for everyone's training?" Halibel nodded.
"Your theory is that proper Segunda Etapa is achieved through the Arrancar filling whatever void is appropriate for them. That it is a representation of a Hollow successfully rediscovering their heart and completing their cycle of loss and acceptance. For Ulquiorra, the natural conclusion is to reacquaint him with the emotions he threw away. For Grimmjow, to cease being in denial that there are those more powerful than himself and continue his growth." Her explanation flowed from her mouth easily. "However, you do not see such obvious faults in myself."
"Hit the nail on the head." A soft smile came upon my face. "For every point. Even in my timeline where your rule only lasted a few weeks, you were always a fantastic Queen to the Arrancar. Firm, but understanding. Neither overly passive nor hyperaggressive. You hear every side of an argument and then make a decision that is both rational and accommodating. You were the only Espada I knew that actually had a healthy relationship with your Fracciones, even if they do treat you a little too much like a perfect being." An amused chuckle left her.
"Not for lack of trying to correct such a belief, as I'm sure you're aware." She released a content sigh. "But, of course, if your theory is correct, there must be something about myself I must challenge, as I do not possess Segunda Etapa."
"If my theory is correct." I emphasized. "In my timeline, Ulquiorra was the only one to possess any version of Segunda Etapa, and I never spent that much time around any Arrancar other than Nel. The basis of my theory hinged on patterns I noticed, it's not like there's no chance Hollows couldn't be outliers."
"Very true." The Queen accepted before her eyes finally left the game to peer at me. "But I feel confident that you are not wrong in your guesswork. Hollows came before zanpakuto, after all, it feels wrong that that would be the only possible means for Hollows to find redemption."
"Redemption?" I hung onto the word. My gaze drifted upward in thought as I tested the word in my mind. "That's an interesting way of looking at it." Her head fully turned to me once I breathed those words, remaining silent as she waited for me to finish. I was glad she could tell I didn't mean that statement in any derogatory way. My eyes dropped down to lock onto hers. "Redeem them of what?"
"When one initially becomes a Hollow, they are stuck by an overwhelming need to devour. An exceeding few could even be called sentient until they become a Huge Hollow, and even then, I would say the majority would not be called that unless they were to become adjuchas. I would not disagree with those who say Hollows are undeserving of blame until they reach that state, as most are well and truly mindless until then. You would not judge an animal for doing what it felt necessary to survive." I nodded in agreement with her words, taking another sip of my tea. "But just because they should not be faulted for their instincts does not mean that harm is not brought about by those instincts. For a shark to sustain itself, smaller fish must be devoured."
"Just because they shouldn't be blamed for their actions, that doesn't mean punishment should not be carried out." Was my agreeing hum. My mood fell slightly. That statement brought memories of the twins and my explosive response. "Redemption for the harm that was caused, intentionally or otherwise, then?"
"Quite." She confirmed. "Were it not for Shinigami developing their zanpakuto, Hollows would have no way of finding it. Such a thought perturbs me. You came to your conclusion through patterns and logic. I do not agree with you for that reasoning, but because I feel that we as Hollows should be capable of redeeming ourselves, rather than only being forgiven in death." In the face of such a response, I could only stare in awe. After a moment of taking that in, I had to release my own amused breath.
"And now I'm wondering even more what could possibly be holding you back when you say words like that." Aqua green eyes looked me over thoroughly. As I was studied, I kept silent, patiently waiting for her to finish.
"…I may not know the answer for why I do not possess Segunda Etapa, but perhaps I may understand why you struggle to figure that out as well." I tilted my head encouragingly as I took another sip of tea. "Please do not take this to mean I am comparing our respective struggles and experiences, but perhaps the reason why you do not understand what I am missing is because I am too similar to yourself for you to see it." While I appreciated her placation, it was unnecessary. I understood what she meant by that as soon as she suggested it. We were both protectors of those we cared deeply for. We didn't seek out responsibilities, but neither of us rejected them when offered. Neither of us pretended that it wasn't in our nature to be bloodthirsty, but we also only indulged in those desires when it was appropriate. There were deeper layers to that comparison, though.
"Most would say it's easier to see your faults in someone else." I felt the need to acknowledge.
"If they recognize it as a fault, that is." She announced somberly. As soon as the words left her mouth, my own eyes snapped wide with shock.
"That-that can't be it." I defended immediately.
"And yet we undoubtedly reached the same conclusion for what that fault must be." Once again, the words left her smoothly and easily. Every word in that statement carried a downtrodden confidence. My shoulders sank as I struggled with the concept.
"…What could possibly be wrong about wanting to ensure those we care about are safe?" It was at this question that she finally did not have a ready answer. Halibel's eyes fell as she contemplated the query.
"…Perhaps the lengths we would go to accomplish that goal." She offered quietly. A deep frown pulled at my face.
"I wouldn't kill myself keeping them safe." My argument came easily, thankfully. "Neither they nor I would be comfortable trading lives. My experiences and my powers make me more willing to get hurt to get the job done, but I don't recklessly take damage. I know that I'm more prone to going to extremes due to my trauma, but I'm aware of it and working on it. I know you're no different."
"That's not what I'm referring to." Her speech remained soft, lamenting. My confusion spiked until I also understood.
"…We were just talking about it." I realized, my own speech growing quiet. "Understandable harm is still harm."
"How many lives would we take in recompense for our loved ones being hurt? Being killed?" She spoke into the air.
"How much would we justify in the name of retaliation?" A cold feeling formed in my gut, as I already knew the answer. She did too, as evidenced by her eyes falling onto me once more.
"How much of ourselves would we strip away for the sake of revenge?" Her voice cracked as that concern filled the air, and I understood this was her fear bubbling to the surface.
"…Until we could no longer avoid looking in the mirror." I gave the only true answer. Neither of us could speak after that. Our eyes fell onto the same group, laughing and playing with weightless joy. She saw what could be. I saw what had been. Both of our visions were the same: cold bodies and oceans of blood.
"How do we get ourselves to stop?" The shark eventually managed to gather herself enough to ask. "How do we come to understand how far is too far?"
"I really wish I knew the answer." Another sip of tea helped alleviate the worst of the feeling. "Where I come from, everyone needed me to believe there was no such thing. Not that it was hard when the rage kept getting reignited. Since coming back, I've had someone who snapped me out of it, but it was after the damage had already been done."
"I imagine I would not have the issue you surely have, where no one can stall your rampage." Her words threw me for a loop, as she brought up a problem I didn't even realize I had.
"That's…right." I agreed. "But being physically barred from going through with it doesn't actually solve the problem."
"No." Once again, a dead silence surrounded us, a dark dread that formed from our own potential. "But how do we redefine our standards for retribution?"
"…We don't ask ourselves." The Queen of Hueco Mundo focused intensely on my words. "We force ourselves to be only the executioners, not the judges nor the jury. Have someone we trust to provide better judgment than ourselves and do what we can to get better at listening."
"You are the example of why that would leave us vulnerable to becoming the worst versions of ourselves."
"Even then, I knew deep down that the ones I was listening to were the ones I shouldn't be." I shook my head, both at my previous actions and at her counterargument. "I listened to generals in wartime, monsters that did not burden themselves with worrying about how the victory was achieved. I ignored the friends who worried about how much blood soaked my hands, the lovers who knew I was forsaking my own ethics."
"You informing me that you chose to listen to those you knew you shouldn't be does not instill me with confidence." Her hands gripped her arms tightly.
"…You're right." In hindsight, I wasn't properly refuting her point. After a moment of thought, I realized why that was what I chose to say. "That's because I wasn't saying it to reassure you. As you said, I'm the example. I've already gone too far in my retribution. I've already reached a point where I could no longer recognize myself. Use me to keep yourself in check. Practice imagining my response when you're vengeful, and don't let yourself do what I would." Aqua green eyes once more locked onto mine.
"That is a start for myself, but what about you?" I was grateful for her concern.
"I don't have to imagine my friends and lovers telling me when I'm going too far. They're already watching out for me."
"You said they only snapped you out after the fact." She pointed out.
"That was the first time the Gotei had seen me react like that. They know what to look out for now. And my girlfriends have already proven that they've got a sharp eye for when I'm not myself." Her intense stare continued for several more moments before her gaze softened.
"I see." She hummed before uncrossing her arms and holding out her left hand. "If you do not mind, I'd like to practice for myself by being another who seeks to keep you from crossing lines you should not." My grateful smile widened and I pulled my hand from my pocket to shake hers.
"As long as you don't mind if I become the first to do the same for you." A pleased gleam manifested in her eyes.
"I could not ask for a better guardian on that front."
Omake: Forever Lingering
It was quiet in the Kurosaki household, a sure surprise for anyone familiar with the family who resided within. But if one were to take a closer look inside, they would find a simple explanation for such a thing. Ichigo was asleep on the couch. It was a school day, yet another where the time traveler had deemed the workload from the Gotei to be large enough to necessitate Kon taking his place in class. Comparatively speaking, it wasn't that often that such a thing occurred. Only two or three times a month did it reach that extent. It had become an expectation amongst his human friends that he would have the Mod Soul take his place at the beginning and end of each month, as that was when the greatest influx of reports came in for him to review. Usually, the third instance would come from when he started the training of another already powerful individual, which would necessitate that said individual would have to add their progression to Ichigo's list.
Isshin was working the clinic, as per usual, when Ichigo informed him that the hybrid was taking a break from paperwork and would be resting on the couch. When the older Shinigami entered the living room for his lunch, he discovered his son had seemingly forgotten to set an alarm to wake himself. Rather than wake him, Isshin simply texted his other two children so that they would not accidentally disturb their older brother when they came home from school. After a moment of recollection, he also sent a similar message to his son's girlfriends, as Unohana was joining her Squad to study modern medicine and Yoruichi was practicing Shunko with Soi Fon.
The twins had entered the house first, opening and closing the door as silently as they could. Maintaining the quiet, they went to the kitchen table to work on their homework. Almost an hour later, Yoruichi and Unohana arrived in a similarly careful fashion. Once everyone who lived in the abode was present, the two older women volunteered to cook dinner for the family, with Yuzu joining them to learn about whatever recipes the Soul Society had. It did not take them long to cook, and when they felt they would be finished soon, they had motioned for Karin to finally wake Ichigo.
That, unfortunately, was where it went wrong. Due to it being so long since the last time it occurred, Yoruichi and Unohana had forgotten that there was an important detail about Ichigo his siblings were unaware of. That being, he responded horribly to being startled.
Thinking nothing of it, Karin reached over the back of the couch and grabbed his shoulder to shake him awake. The instant she touched him, his body moved, one hand coming up to tightly enclose around her throat while the other locked her outstretched wrist in an iron grip. With a sharp twist, her feet lifted off the ground as he pulled her over the couch, slamming her back into the carpet next to the couch while he slid to sit atop her stomach. His left hand, the one holding her wrist, pulled back, coming dangerously close to ripping her arm out of the socket. At the same time, his right only applied more pressure as his weight pressed down upon her. It happened so quickly and suddenly that she hadn't even been able to react, especially as she was caught right after an exhale.
"ICHIGO!" Yoruichi screamed, having witnessed the tomboy get ripped off her feet with blind aggression. His eyes cleared instantly, widening just as immediately with absolute horror as he registered who he attacked. Both of his hands flung open and whipped back, Karin gasping for breath as soon as her throat was released. White marks lingered on her neck, fading concerningly slowly for being held for such a short amount of time. The honey-eyed man's legs tensed in preparation to bodily pull away from his sister, only to forcefully relax a second later. He closed his eyes and drew in a shaking breath, then held it for three seconds. His exhale was equally as shaky as his inhale, though it was drawn out over five seconds. The girl beneath him watched silently, intently vigilant of his response. He repeated a pattern of inhaling for three seconds, holding for that same amount of time, then releasing for five two more times. By the final round, the shakiness was gone. He opened his eyes, wariness in abundance within them, and looked down at Karin.
"I'm sorry for doing that." He stated slowly. "I don't know how we forgot to tell you, but you should refrain from startling me. Mostly because of the Blood War, my first instinct if I'm caught off guard is to assume it's an enemy and attack. I…don't need to explain to you that I don't mean to harm you."
"I know." She nodded, a pleased note in her voice. "I'm happy you're not blaming yourself for something out of your control. Don't have to smack any sense into you." At that, he stood up, holding his hand out to pull her up, which she accepted. "…Is that something that's going to fade over time, like your eating habits?" He winced, not missing his girlfriends making similarly sour faces from the kitchen.
"I don't think so. Parts of what I'm dealing with aren't things that go away or get easier to deal with. Some is just stuff we all have to manage together." Her face fell slightly at his words before she shook the negative thoughts away.
"Alright." She stood slightly straighter and pointedly ignored the red marks still fading around her neck. "For the future, how should we wake you up?" He smiled.
"Unless I'm already cuddling you or something like that, don't touch me or make spontaneous loud noises. Unexpected contact or sharp noises are the triggers. I'd say staying just out of arms reach and telling me to wake up at a normal volume should be fine." She nodded seriously, making careful note of the suggestions in her mind.
"Okay. So we don't have a repeat of what just happened, what else?"
"How about he tells you whatever he is comfortable with saying at the kitchen table?" Unohana called from the kitchen. The two siblings exchanged a glance before giggling, realizing that they were holding up dinner.
"I'll go wash my hands and grab Dad, then we'll let you know what we've figured out so far." He announced as he began towards the clinic. She blinked as a thought fluttered through her head.
"Man, it's really lucky of him that he hasn't done any of his surprise attacks since you came back." Her utterance having reached his ears, Ichigo burst into laughter.
Another short chapter this time, sorry. I once more state that I would rather not artificially inflate chapters to meet personal word count standards. Fun fact, though: in the chapter plan I wrote out, I was originally going to add the Tsunayashiro update to the end of the Zanpakuto Rebellion Arc, but the chapter ended up being so long I felt it better to not tack it on at the end.
Gonna leave a single reminder that I'm looking for a beta reader for all of my stories, mostly for grammar purposes but also to provide input on story decisions.
Obligatory reminder that there is a financial way to support me: pat_reon_dot_com/user_?u=_83835975 without underscores
Book: No Good Man by Grimlock Bragi on Amazon
Next Chapter: Understanding the Art in War