TW HEAVY VIOLENCE FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! Hiii! So I just wanted to thank anyone that clicked on this story! It's a little late for a thank-you but I just always want people to know that they have an impact! :3 This chapter might be a bit weird but I mean- it's early! Hope you enjoy!

I woke up warm, way too warm. My body just about screamed at me as my head throbbed. Carefully I cracked open my eyes and saw someone else. I think his name is Sodapop or something.

The morning light streamed in through the windows. It was much later than what I would've woken up at. Maybe I really was tired. My whole body seemed to feel tired…

My mind was foggy. Everything hurt, especially my ribs. It hit me, everything that had happened yesterday. Now I remembered why I was in Sodapops bed.

Quietly I try to get up. It was difficult though, he had an arm slung against me. Even though I just moved an inch I saw his eyes shoot open. My eyes beat him though and I reclosed them.

He moved a bit, pulling me closer to him. Holding me in a protective hug. I almost opened my eyes in shock from the action. Why would he do this? I'm just his neighbor… I can't get attached.

"Soda!" Darry called from the living room. I could feel Sodapop go stiff. It seemed like he wanted to stay. I laid there frozen until someone else came in.

"Is he still sleeping?" A voice asked. Soda replied, "Yeah I think he was going to wake up though."

The voice hummed and when I felt Sodapop leave I reopened my eyes. When I see there's no one else on the bed or around the room I breathe a sigh of relief. I looked around to see if there was anyone else. While doing so, I spotted a window.

The window looked old and a bit rusted. Part of me thought that it wouldnt open. Still, I wanted to try it. I know I said I was going to stay till breakfast but the dinner I had was more than enough. Hopefully they appreciate me not wasting any more of their food.

But then again, not eating for days then eating a lot really doesn't make you feel good. I could tell that from not eating for a bit, I was weaker. Although, eating a bunch in one sitting didnt make it any better.

The second I heard a shower start I made the bed and made my escape. Gingerly I go to my house. Thankfully it's empty, but still spotless. I found the shirt that I was cut in. Blood and a single tear showed that it was the shirt.

I remembered how I had went home. It was only a minute or two after I did that Sodapop came to my door. He had looked worried, watching my shirt dampen with blood. All I was able to do was change my shirt before he took me to his house.

Carefully I put the shirt to wash. Making sure to coat the blood stain with anything I could. After a bit I realized there was just about nothing to do. I had cleaned myself up and even my house was cleaned again.

Bored, I put a note that I was going somewhere. But where would that somewhere be? I thought for a moment, and then it hit me!

Writing down the note I make my way to the door. Carefully I look outside my window, the neighbors seem to be in a good mood. I don't want to have them worry about me. They all need to focus on each other instead. With that thought, I snuck out my back door and started walking.

I didn't have a specific direction I needed to go. Not that I even knew where to go. I walked far, through train tracks and different places. Although when I found the Main Street I couldn't help but sigh in relief.

There were signs and busses telling me where I could go. Most of the streets and busses were empty. Some were filled with only old people and younger kids. When I finally made it to the place I almost sighed with happiness.

The library was shabby. Some books were falling apart and were disorganized. Although the librarian was very kind and even helped me to get a library card.

I spent time at the library, reading and looking for books to take home. I remembered the bag I left at home, with all my supplies to run away. Should I do it? My mind raced as I continued to think about it.

If I left now would my parents permanently take away Katherine? They hadn't even came back! The house had been clean for three days already and it probably wasn't going to stay clean if they keep delaying coming back.

Time seemed to pass quickly. If it kept going at this pace then I would be here for about a month. I was already on my second week here. My parents hadn't even sent more money for me. Usually every week they would supply a plane tickets amount. Now, I was left with only 50 from Katherine.

I knew that the people here were poorer than most. Maybe that's why Katherine took me, so I could learn about them. Not to dehumanize them but I would always be in different, richer, neighborhoods. Although this town seems to have that too.

From what I learned, the rich people are socs. People praised for being rich but then hardly yelled at for killing or something. They like to target "greasers". From where I live, I'm considered a greaser. If I had to guess, people would think of me as in "Darry's" gang.

Although maybe I'm not in the gang. They just take care of me because they feel bad. I know that's why they do it. When I'm gone they're going to be so happy. I don't even do anything for them.

The time seemed to pass slowly in the library. Most of it I spent thinking about how much of a burden I was. The book I held was one that I had read before. Although now that I held it, I couldn't help but just look at the words, my eyes scanning the plot I knew by heart.

My mind seemed to hate me. Everything seemed to hate me. I pushed the thoughts away from my mind. Thankfully my stomach seemed to distract me.

I had forgotten that I skipped breakfast. The feeling of last night's dinner stayed with me. I felt full, happy, even. Mentally I hit myself, I was getting attached. If I get attached then it'll be harder to leave them, but if I don't leave them...

Slowly I got up from my spot on the floor. The library card I had was still in my pokcet, but I wasnt looking to get any books. As I walked to the door I heard the librarian call a soft goodbye to me.

I found myself walking through the Main Street. Now it was more full, people my age laughed with each other in the streets. My heart wanted to belong but after a bit I decided against it. Continuing to walk through the streets was nice, I spotted a movie house and went in.

They were showing a good one- Gone with the Wind! I remembered begging Katherine to get the book. She just smiled and told me on my birthday- wait.

When the movie finished I quickly went to find out the day. My birthday is on the tenth of October. I remembered it the most because despite moving a lot, on my birthday my parents would take me to Paris or somewhere expensive for the week. Then on my actual birthday, leave me with my caretaker to have their own fun. I never minded but they would always argue if it was too cold to go every year.

When I saw the calendar I felt a sigh of relief come to me. It was September 28. Still dangerously close to my birthday but far enough for me to be relaxed. Maybe I could be able to celebrate 4 birthdays with Katherine. Before I could think more, there was someone in front of me.

"Hey Ponyboy!" Two-Bit said. I jumped, I didn't even see nor hear him.

"Oh hi," my voice was weak. Despite myself, I was shaking. My mind knew that Two-Bit was "safe" but I couldn't help but flinch no matter who touched or came near me. Two-Bit looked at me funny and then looked at what I was looking at.

"Why are you looking at a calendar?"

"My birthday."

His eyes grew a bit, "is your birthday today?" I shook my head, "in a bit of days." I didn't want to tell him the exact days. Mostly because I forgot how many days until my birthday. All I could focus on was the new throbbing pain in my head. I guess my concussion didn't heal as well as I thought it did.

I started walking and Two-Bit followed. "So, where you going?" He asked after a bit. I had no idea where I was going to be honest. My plan was to keep walking until I found something.

"I was going to eat somewhere," I looked at him and then he had a big grin.

"Let's go to the Dingo!"

"The Dingo?" Maybe it's a restaurant or diner. He looked at me and then realization seemed to hit him.

"Yeah the Dingo! It's around the corner, cmon-" I nodded and followed Two-Bit. Part of me just wanted to book it out of there but another part of me didn't want to. When we arrived I saw Dallas and Johnny already in a booth. Two-Bit spotted them and took me to them.

"Hey Johnnycakes! Hey Dal," Two-Bit greeted and sat down. I followed and Johnny looked up at me.

"Where'd you find him Two-Bit?" Dallas asked.

Find me? Were they looking for me?

"He was just walking around. Saw him looking at a calendar," Two-Bit said as the waitress came by. He ordered me a coke and I just sat there awkwardly. I tried to keep my distance, listening instead of speaking. As they talked, I couldnt help but feel out of place

With a pang in my heart, an an ache in my ribs, I made the decision to leave. Slowly I slipped a 5 to Two-Bit and left. I knew they didn't see me because they were busy looking at something.

I didn't get very far without them finding me again. I was walking back home. The whole endeavor had tired me out for the day. While walking I got lost.

"Do I go here or…?" I mindlessly said as I looked at a map. The map was plastered onto an old sign. Age had taken a toll on it, causing the map to be almost unreadable. My mind was going hazy, I just wanted to go home.

Lines seemed to blur together and I couldn't tell what I was looking at. I could almost feel my consciousness slippng as I tried to block out any other sound that prevented me from reading the sign coherently. Before I could figure out where to go I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm going to start keeping a leash on you if you keep leaving like that," a familiar voice spoke. Their voice was tough and booming. I got so scared I just passed out. I felt people holding onto me and some voices I couldn't make out.

My mind ws in a different place. knew that was taking, but I didnt know what I was saying. Part of me panicked, what if I said the wrong thing and the Pax family came after me? But, I was so out of it that I didnt even care. All I wanted to do was sleep.

After what felt like forever, I peeked open my eyes. Surprisingly I wasn't in a hospital. Instead, I was on a bed, a very familiar bed. I wanted to move but I just decided to lay there with my eyes closed. My head ached too much to do anything else.

"Do you think we need to take him to a hospital?" A voice asked nearby.

"Hopefully not. Don't want his crazy parents to have to pay the bills…" whose voice was that? Deep and- Darry's! I'm in the Curtis house, my mind supplied me.

I felt some rustling next to me.

"You awake kid?" I knew the voice but I wanted to stay still. My mind tried to remember who was next to me. Maybe Two-Bit?

"Is he awake?" A calmer voice chimed in. Soon the whole room seemed to be full.

"Didn't think I'd scare him that bad…" a tougher voice said. Dallas I think, he was the only one that had a tough and weird accent. Maybe he was from the north.

"You caused this?" A voice whisper yelled. It seemed like they were waiting for me to wake up. Yet, I stayed still, praying that they left so I could.

"I mean he just left. Didn't think Dally would scare him that bad…" Two-Bit chimed in. Oh so that's what happened. God I'm such a burden. Who passes out by just being scared?

"At least I took him here!" Dallas tried to explain.

"I think you should've taken him to a hospital," Steve, I think, said. I couldn't help but smile at that. It wasn't funny but in my state it was. For a second they went silent and I panicked. Thinking they caught me I tried to sit up.

"Whoa there-" Two-Bit gently pushed me back down, "-you shouldn't be trying to escape already."

Despite myself I chuckled a bit. But when I looked around, all the eyes were on me. Again, I tried to sit up, not caring for the stabbing pain in my head and ribs. Instead of stopping me, Two-Bit helped and put some pillows behind me.

"Are you okay?" Johnny asked after a beat. I just looked at him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I had been healing up pretty well. Even with the pain I felt, I knew I was going to be good before my birthday. I wanted to play it off and hope they could let me go home so I wouldn't have to be a burden.

"Because you passed out kid," Steve sounded exasperated. I put my head down, I didn't know I was going to pass out.

"Sorry," was all I could get out. When I looked back up they all seemed more worried than angry. Although one person caught my eye, Sodapop. He had red rimmed eyes and looked like he'd been crying. He caught me looking at him and started talking.

"Why did you leave before breakfast?"

"I stayed until breakfast time…" I almost lied. I found it harder to lie to Sodapop. It was like I didn't want to make him feel sad for things that I did. I could lie easily, but that doesn't mean it's going to be the best lie. I looked back up at him and he seemed angrier.

The room went silent and I got worried. What if they hated me? I briefly remembered what Katherine had told me but I still couldnt help but worry. Almost as if sensing the tension in the room, Two-bit spoke up. "When's your birthday?" Two-Bit asked, trying to change the topic. I looked at him weird. Why was he asking?

He understood my confusion and continued, "You were looking at that calendar. Is your birthday today?" I brefly thought back towhen he saw me at the calander. Didnt I tell him that it was in a bit? Or... did he want me to say exactly when my birthday was? Deciding to play it safe, I kept it vague, "It's in a couple days."

"Be specific kid," Dallas spoke. I looked down and shook my head. Mentally I was panicking. Usually, I was good at spilling lies to my parents about almost anything. Although, now with Darry and his gang, I was unsure as to what they would believe. Seeing that they were waiting for me to answer, I jut let my mouth blurt out whatever it wanted to.

"I don't remember my birthday."

"Liar," Two-Bit said. I looked at him. God damnit that was one of the worst lies I've ever told.

"Fine, it's next month," I tried staying as vague as possible. Steve sighed frustrated.

"Just say the damn day, my birthday is on April 15th. Now just say yours."

"Jeez fine, October 10th, happy?" Attitude slipped into my voice. My head was pounding and my body ached to get out of there. They looked at me funny for a bit.

Then there were three rough knocks on the front door. Darry left and went to see who it was. I couldnt help but feel the tension in the room rise a bit. Was it my fault they they were worried? What was I saying, of course it was...

Soon, Darry came back, a solemn exprssion painted on his face. Everyone in the room picked up on his uneasiness and I feared the worst.

"Ponyboy, your parents-" I already knew it. I knew they were back. And I had a feeling they weren't going to like the state I was in. I nodded and got up.

When I walked to the doorway I felt everyone's eyes on me. They watched as I made my way to the door. They had a right to be worried. I knew, deep down, it wasn't going to end well.

"There you are Pax Jr." Mrs. Pax said. In my state, I hated that name. It was mocking who I was. It was meant to show that I could be nothing than my parents. That the Pax's will control me no matter what.

"Hello Mrs. Pax," I greeted as kindly as I could.

"Let's go back. We need to have a talk with you," Mr. Pax sounded furious. I knew he was angry, there was something wrong. I nodded and followed them, taking a final glance behind me. They all looked worried for me, as if they knew what was going to happen.

THWAK!

My body cumpled to the floor from the place where I stood. Mr. Pax was angry. He was so pissed off at the sight of the house being cleaned. So, he wanted to dirty it up with my blood. He never made sense when he was angry. Why get mad at me for doing what he asked?

But I knew they were just looking for excuses to beat and berate me. They wanted me to be beat into a state of always listening. Of always running and leaving. Just so I could never have relaions to get me out of the Pax's.

Mrs. Pax yelled at me the entire time. Her voice drowned out the sound of the punches thrown at me. My ribs had barely healed, now they were probably broken. Every time I moved, Mr. Pax just threw another punch.

After a bit the punches calmed down.

"Go kill yourself. You're the worst mistake I've ever made. I should've sent you to boarding school years ago," Mrs. Pax's voice cut deep. Before I could even move she threw a box of razors at me.

"We'll be back before your birthday. Maybe Katherine will too. Or maybe we'll just kill her," Mrs. Pax kept talking. She just wouldn't stop. I wished for her threats to stop, for her to just leave me alone to deal with my injuries by myself. But, she would never do that, not even if I begged.

Before long I was tied up to my bed. Every movement hurt more and more. I could feel blood seeping from the cut I got t the DX. Part of me wished that Sodapop could come, or that Steve would help me.

I wished for anyone to help me. I fet weak even thinking about it. My body was black and blue. Nothing hurt more but yet they still made it worse.

Mr. Pax came in with money, around 150. He counted it in front of me, almost as if trying to sow how I wouldnt surive without the Pax's, then he pulled out the razors and counted them too. My mind knew what was going to happen- glory- how I feared it. He threw the money around me, coating it in bood.

Then, I saw how his eyes flickered with an idea as he inspected the razors. He bent down to my wrists, wiggling the razor into rope. I writhed in pain, tryng not to cry. Still, he continued, this time putting some on the rope on my ankles.

I wished to die. The pain was so much. My head was banged against the wall and I found myself passing out. Not before some of Mr. Pax's whiskey was poured on me. I couldn't help but cry and scream out.

Mrs. Pax came in and yelled at me more. I screamed and screamed. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt so bad. When the bottle was finished Mr. Pax slammed it down on my head again. He really liked doing that.

My vision went foggy but I didn't pass out. No matter what I couldn't pass out. This time, I wouldn't be able to get out of the ropes. The blades were focused on my skin, cuts lining my skin painfully.

The razors reopened the wounds from almost last week. If only they had waited longer, then maybe I would've healed. Maybe I would've been okay with this. Now, all that I'm okay with is dying.

My room reeked of pennies. I knew it was the stench of the blood. Blood was seeped into the carpet, staining it a bright red. Every time I moved another cut would be made. Then, some alcohol would get stuck in it.

Life was hell; this was hell; living was hell. And I wanted it all gone. Even when I heard them leave, I couldn't find the energy in me to move. I could see the money all around me, taunting me. If only I was more mobile, then maybe I would take it and run- far- far away.

There was probably enough for me to go to the hospital. After this I will have to go to the hospital. I looked down at the blood again, wtchi a it seepedino the carpet. This time, my vision went fuzzy.

"Help me…" my voice was weak as I cried out into the air of my blood-soaked room. I couldn't do anything anymore. All I could do was lay there and wait to see if I would die. I couldn't escape and glory- glory did I want to escape.

My legs were numb, so were my arms. Yet, I wouldn't pass out. The tingling feeling seemed to keep me awake, along with the pounding in my head. I prayed, for the first time ever, that Soda or Darry would come. That they would take me away. I broke my rule, I was attached.

It took a while, longer than I wanted, for someone to come. I was barely hanging onto consciousness, I could feel all my senses slowly slipping. The front door jiggled. My parents must've locked it before they left.

Soon there were voices in my house. I knew all of them, especially one that came near my door.

"In-here!" I used all my energy to scream. It came out quiet but loud enough for the person to start knocking. The door was jiggled again and the voices grew louder.

The door was being pounded on now. Whoever was trying to get it open had full intentions of breaking it down. When the door opened I couldn't be happier to see Dallas. I smile, crying, but felt the energy from me seep away.

They looked at me, all of them. Sodapop was crying and before he could come close, Darry held him back. I looked down, my blood, alcohol, money, and razors littered the floor. When I looked back up they were looking at my arms.

I remembered that I was tied up.

"They put razors in the rope. I'm sorry for the mess. I'm- I'm sorry," my voice was trailing off. I felt tears come down and the feeling of sleep came to me.

I hope you enjoyed- even if it's really heavy. Soooo- this is heavy. I momentarily forgot about how this chapter could mess up how you view Ponyboy Pax. Poor man, why do I gotta whump him so bad? D: Anyways! I'll update by next week again!