Wow, this is the fastest I've written a new chapter in years. I hope I can keep it up. Anyway, Adventure Time is owned by Cartoon Network and Hazbin Hotel is owned by Amazon. Enjoy.

Chapter 2: Fox in the Henhouse

(Several hours earlier)

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!

Vaggie groaned annoyedly as the incessant banging on their bedroom door roused her from what had been the best night's sleep she'd had in over a month. She turned her head to took at the alarm clock, hoping that it was at least a reasonable hour, but of course it wasn't.

4:22 am

Fan-Fucking-Tastic

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!

The frantic knocking continued.

Clearly whoever it was wasn't going to take no for an answer.

By some miracle, Charlie managed to stay sound asleep in spite of the awful din and Vaggie was determined to let her stay that way. After everything they'd been through over the last few weeks, she deserved a little peace. So, after carefully slipping out of bed so as to not disturb her partner, the Fallen Angel tiptoed to their bedroom door to see who was making such a ruckus.

Given his track record for intruding on private moments, she'd expected to see the Radio Demon on the other side. However, to her surprise, she instead came face to face with the hotel's semi-lovable bartender, Husk.

"Husk?" Vaggie asked in equal parts annoyance and disbelief. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Oh, I know. Believe me, I know." The ex-Overlord said, sounding like he'd gotten even less sleep than she had. "And I know you told us not to bother you tonight, but we've got a situation downstairs."

"What kind of situation?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"It's kinda hard to explain." Husk replied uneasily. "Maybe I should just show you."

XXX

(Nine minutes later)

Vaggie was at a total loss for words.

The anger welling up inside her had reached such an extreme level that she couldn't even swear.

All she could do was stand there, staring unblinkingly at the gigantic smoking hole these idiots had somehow blown into the hotel they'd just finished rebuilding.

"One night." She said to everyone in attendance, in an even tone that really did not match her mood. "That's all I asked for. Just one night in our new hotel without any fighting, or binge drinking, or any of your ridiculous bullshit. And what do you do? You blow a hole in my ceiling the size of a Volkswagen!"

Vaggie finally turned to face the ones responsible before adding,

"Why do you hate me?"

"Oh, come on. Ease up, Vaggie. It's not like we did it on purpose." Said Husk, sounding almost genuinely hurt by the question.

"Yeah." Added Cherri Bomb, the latest addition to their merry band of deformed malcontents. "Besides, this is all Niffty's fault anyway."

"Niffty? You're telling me Niffty blew a hole in my ceiling?"

"No, that was me." The Aussie Cyclops clarified. "But it wouldn't 've happened if she hadn't woken me up at 2 am."

That… made absolutely no sense at all.

Fortunately, Husk seemed to sense her confusion and elaborated.

"Niffty's been running around the airducts all night screaming about scorpions." The old bartender explained. "We think she had a nightmare or something. I'm surprised you didn't hear her."

This was because, at her request, Lucifer had cast a spell over their new room, making it virtually soundproof. Of course, since this wasn't relevant to their current situation, Vaggie kept her mouth shut and let Husk continue.

"We tried to talk her down, but she wouldn't stay still long enough. So, we figured one of us should go in after her. Angel volunteered, so we greased him up with baby oil and shoved him into an air vent."

"But apparently we didn't use enough, because he got stuck somewhere." Cherri added matter-of-factly.

"You're telling me Angel's stuck in the ventilation system?" Vaggie asked, totally dumbfounded by the ridiculousness of the situation. "Where?"

"Well, we thought he was right there, but I guess our math was off." The Aussie replied, pointing at the giant hole. "But we're like 80% sure he's somewhere on this floor."

Vaggie was about to say something, probably derogatory, but a sudden blast of static cut her off; followed swiftly by a familiar, if garbled, voice.

"BZZZZZZT! Yo, guys! What's the hold up?" said the voice of Angel Dust through a walkie-talkie she just noticed Husk was carrying. "I'm gettin' a cramp in here!"

Acting quickly, Vaggie snatched the walkie out of Husk's hand so she could talk to him.

"Angel, it's Vaggie. Are you alright?"

"Vaggie? Oh, thank Christ. They woke the smart one."

"Okay, I'm gonna kick your ass for that later. But for right now, I want you to tell me what in God's name were you thinking when you volunteered to crawl in an air vent."

"I was thinkin' that since I'm the most flexible I was the best one for the job."

"Then how did you get stuck?"

"Well… these things look a lot bigger on TV."

"Angel, this has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever done."

"Okay, first off, I'd love to see you come up with somethin' better after less than two hours of sleep. And second, you're as much to blame for this mess as we are."

"How can you possibly blame me for this? I've been with Charlie all night."

"Exactly! You were the one who made a big deal about makin' Charlie's first night in the new Hotel 'special'. You told us not to bother you unless it was a 'real emergency'. You left three sleep-deprived, and might I add sober sinners to their own devices in what is quite frankly an insane situation. The way I see it, your hands are dirtier than ours."

Vaggie wanted to argue some more, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. So instead, she just sighed and let the spider demon have the high ground.

"You know what, you're right, Angel. I'm sorry." She said, trying to sound sincere. "I shouldn't 've snapped at you. You were just trying to keep your promise to me. Albeit in the most asinine way possible."

"Apology accepted." Angel replied smugly. "Now how are you gonna get me outta here?"

That was a good question, and unfortunately Vaggie didn't have a clue how to answer it.

"Uh… uh… um… hold on. Let me think." The Fallen Angel stammered as she racked her brain for a solution. "Okay, first we need to figure out where you are. Can you move any part of your body at all?"

"Uh… I think I can move my legs a little."

"Good. Try kicking the sides of the vent. Maybe we can follow the sound."

"Okay, let me just… Urk… Ak… AAAK! There. Did you hear it?"

"No, but just keep at it and maybe it'll help us find you."

"Alright, but hurry up, my arms are… Holy Shit!"

"What? What's the matter?"

"It's Niffty! I found her!"

"Really? Well, at least that's one piece of good news."

"Hey, Niffty! Over here!"

"Gotta hide! Gotta hide! Gotta hide!" said the frantic voice of the Hotel maid over the walkie-talkie. "Oh, hi Angel. You smell funny. Gotta hide! Gotta hide! Gotta hide!"

"Wait! Niffty! Come back here! Niffty! Niff… Ah Fuck! She's gone. What's she so worked up about any… What in the… HOLY SHI… BZZZZZZZZT!"

And just like that, the connection was lost.

Everyone was speechless, but only because they were all thinking the exact same thing.

Angel Dust was in danger.

XXX

(A split second later)

Angel Dust was on his knees, out of breath and aching all over. Which wouldn't be all that unusual for him, except it had been over twelve hours since the last time he'd gotten lucky. However, at the moment sex was just about the furthest thing from his mind.

Free.

After what felt like an eternity in that cramped metal tube, he was finally free.

He didn't know how or why, and he didn't care.

In that moment, Angel was just happy to be alive.

That is, until he realized he was standing in somebody's shadow.

Angel slowly looked up and found himself in the presence of a Sinner unlike any he'd ever seen before.

This thing, whatever he/she/it was, was tall; at least as tall as Valentino, give or take an inch. Its shape was vaguely humanoid, with a wide chest and broad shoulders, which looked quite comical coupled with its disproportionately tiny waist and scrawny limbs. Its body was covered in what appeared to be emerald green chitin, like that of a scorpion, which made sense considering its hands were giant pincers and it had a long tail that ended in a stinger. Its face, if you could call it that, was just a generic diamond shape with no ears, nose or mouth, and only the vague impression of eyes. It was just about the strangest thing Angel had ever seen. So, he did what he always did when faced with the unknown.

He fell back on his instincts.

"Hey there, handsome." The Spider Demon purred sensually as he struck the most alluring pose his aching body could manage. "You come here often?"

The creature said nothing but let out a strange clicking noise that Angel took to mean it wasn't amused.

"Heh-Heh… Sorry… Reflex." He said nervously. "I see a strange man in a hotel, and I instinctively start flirting. You are a man, right?"

Again, the creature said nothing. It just clacked its right pincer, letting off a tiny spark of green energy. Next thing he knew, the Spider Demon was lifted off the ground by some invisible force and pinned against the ceiling so he couldn't move. When he reopened his eyes, the business end of the creature's stinger tail was pointed right as his throat.

"Gulp. L-Look, whatever this is about, I had nothin' to do with it." Angel said almost pleadingly, hoping beyond hope that the creature believed him.

"I believe you." the creature replied in a smooth, jazzy voice that really didn't match its appearance. It reminded Angel of an old, black hipster he'd once met back when he was still human. "You just hang there for a while, Stretch. Once I'm done with that kid, I'll let you down."

Then the creature retracted its tail and started to walk away.

"Kid?" Angel repeated confusedly before the wheels in his head put the pieces together. "Wait? You mean Niffty? What're you gonna do to her?"

"That's up to her, my man." The creature answered, chuckling in dry amusement. "That's entirely up to…"

"Stop right there!" a familiarly stern voice cut the creature off.

Unsurprisingly, it was Vaggie. Angel hadn't seen her pull up, but he was definitely glad to see her; especially since she was pointing her Angelic Spear directly in the creature's face.

"I don't know who you are or how you got in here, but you picked the wrong night to piss me off." The Fallen Angel said threateningly, glaring daggers at the intruder. "Now you've got 'til the count of three to put Angel down and get your ass out of here before I…"

Angel blinked and somehow the entire scene had changed. Now the creature had Vaggie in a headlock and its stinger tail was aimed right at her good eye.

"You'd better tame that temper, Sinnerella. Unless you want both sides of your face to match." The creature said annoyedly. "Now listen, I didn't come here for a fight. I'm just gonna take what I need from that little girl and then I'll get outta your hair. How's that sound?"

Vaggie's answer was a quick slash across the creature's face with her spear, which caused it to loosen its grip enough to let her escape. Unfortunately, the creature quickly recovered, and even more unfortunately its face didn't have so much as a scratch. In fact, upon closer inspection, the tip of Vaggie's spear appeared to have been broken clean off.

Whether Vaggie herself had noticed this was unclear, but either way she soon had bigger problems. The creature clacked its right pincer and green lightning started to surge throughout its body.

"Fine." The intruder said dryly as it started to rise off the ground. "Have it your way."

End Notes:

I'm really getting into this one, folks. I hope you are too. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.