It was a bright sunny day on the island of Sodor. Spring had just sprung, and flowers were starting to blossom. The morning was still and peaceful. Fields were wet with dew from the fog that had only recently retreated. The birds were singing their songs and bees were buzzing around the newly sprung flowers. The engines loved this time of year. There was something about it that set it apart from all the other seasons. Something about the beauty and wonder of it all.
Thomas was puffing happily down his branch line, enjoying the splendor of the lovely spring day. He loved to hear the birds singing and the squirrels chirping, and to see all the butterflies and flowers. He was so happy in fact, that he started humming a little toon to himself. "Oh, it's a great day to be an engine! Oh it's a great day to be me!" He was singing off tune and sounded quite unpleasant.
"What on earth is all that racket!?" Annie and Clarabel squeaked.
"Are you talking about the birds singing or the frogs croaking." Thomas asked.
"No you silly engine," Annie started, "we're talking about you." "You clearly need to take singing lessons." Clarabel added.
"And just how am I supposed to do that?" Thomas asked annoyed. "I'm a tank engine. It's not like I can call and make an appointment or something!"
"Well I'm afraid it's making the passengers cross." Clarabel said.
"Hmm. Maybe it's your complaining that's making the passengers upset." Said Thomas cheekily.
"We're not complaining!" Annie stated. "We're merely stating facts." Said Clarabel. "Quite right dear." Replied Annie.
"Really?" Questioned Thomas, "Sounds like complaining to me."
"All right you three." Bob (Thomas' driver) chuckled. "Simmer down. The passengers don't like to hear arguing. And quite frankly neither do I."
"You or the passengers, which is it?" Thomas asked sarcastically.
"Ok me." Bob confessed. "But really, nobody wants to hear a fussy engine."
Thomas pouted. I'm not being fussy. He stewed to himself. But he had to listen to his driver. For not doing so had gotten him into trouble in the past. Reluctantly, yet obediently he settled down, not speaking unless he was spoken to. The rest of the run was spent in silence, much to the delight of everyone onboard.
Thomas was sulking as he pulled into Knapford station. His pleasant morning had been spoiled by the authoritative power of his driver. It's not fair, he thought to himself. If I want to sing I should be aloud to sing. So what if I'm not that good? How am I supposed to get better if I don't practice? Humans can do whatever they want. But us engines can't make any decisions for ourselves.
Just then the door to Sir Topham Hatt's office burst open, and Lady hatt walked out shouting, "What do you mean it stinks! It's a litter box! Of course it's going to stink!" She wailed.
"Darling I can't have a litter box in my office stinking it up." Sir Topham Hatt said, fallowing her out the door.
"Of course you can! You just don't care enough about me to do it!" Lady Hatt said emphatically.
"Well if you hadn't gotten four new kittens then decided to go visit your cousin for a week we wouldn't be in this situation!" Sir Topham Hatt fumed.
"Oh no no," yelled Lady Hatt, "This is all your fault! Their only kittens! How hard can taking care of them be!?"
"I'm not going to sit in my office all day and smell those stinky things!" Snorted Sir Topham Hatt. "I all ready have enough smelly things to deal with!"
"Well maybe if you took out your trash more often!" Lady hat screamed. "Your office smells worse that Wiffe's waste dump!"
"Well your perfume smells like a dead skunk!" Sir Topham Hatt insulted.
"Your fat and ugly!" Yelled Lady Hatt. "And a poor excuse for a man!"
"Well your cooking tastes like shit!" Screamed Sir Topham Hatt.
More colorful words fallowed, their argument now intensified into a shouting match. To make matters worse they were dueling off in plain sight, right in the middle of the station platform. People started to whisper among themselves, parents with children rushed them away or plugged their ears so as not to hear the now very clear profanity issuing fourth from the enraged couple.
"Oh! Lady Hatt finally shrieked. "That does it! I'm leaving you! And this time for good!" She mumbled a few more swear words and stomped off. Leaving the Fat Controler to stand there and gawk.
Sir Topham Hatt rolled his eyes. His wife had threatened to do this before. He wasn't to concerned about the whole matter. This sort of thing happened to them often. He was actually quite surprised the marriage had lasted this long already. In the end she would always come back to him apologizing. But this time things would be different. Unknown To him, their seemingly simple actions that day would have severe and unbelievable repercussions that no one could have ever imagined.
Unbeknownst to anyone else, Thomas had seen the whole affair. The poor engine. He had never heard so many swear words in so short of time. He was puzzled and didn't quite know what to make of it. Human society and culture weren't very well known to engines, or any other vehicles for that matter. But he still wondered what that shouting match had been all about. What did Lady Hatt mean she was leaving Sir Topham Hatt? The argument with Annie and Clarabel and wanting to sing was all but forgotten as Thomas pondered this new occurrence.
Thomas shunted Annie and Clarabel onto a siding so that he could collect a small goods train that was headed for Arlesdale West and the miniature railway. He was glad to have some time to be alone and mull over this new occurrence with out interruption. Or so he thought.
"Your being awful quiet." Said Bob, braking the silence in a very awkward way. For it is not customary for a driver to speak to their engine unless it is important. The relationship between an engine and its driver is at best quite awkward. For the driver has the unpleasant task of operating the sentient locomotive, and touching its insides, which can be felt by the engine itself.
That being what it is, Thomas was indeed surprised to have his thoughts interrupted in such a manner. "Uh, are you talking to me?" Thomas asked questionably.
"Of course!" Said Bob cheerfully, "Who else is there to talk too?"
"Uh, Keith?" Thomas responded. Keith was Thomas's fireman. He was Kind yet unspoken, and well aware of the strain between an engine and its crew. In wisdom he stood in the corner of Thomas's cab, minding his own business until he was needed to toss some more coal into the firebox.
"Well I'm not talking to Keith, I'm talking to you." Replied Bob.
"Why would you want to talk to me?" Thomas said, feeling the awkwardness of the situation.
"Well, I uh, just thought that..." Bob stumbled through his words, starting to regret attempting to start up a conversation with a tank engine.
Keith just rolled his eyes at Bob's slight stupidity. After all it wasn't his job to judge. Maybe Bob was just board or something and was looking for some fun, as weird as it might seem. Thomas however took this as an opportunity to get some of his questions answered.
"What was Sir Topham and Lady Hatt shouting about?" He asked. "And what did Lady Hatt mean she was going to leave him?
"Uhhhhh..." Bob stammered, realizing he had bitten off way more then he could chew. "It means that... well it means, umm..." continued Bob, embarrassing himself.
Keith took this wonderful opportunity to embarrass him even further by blurting out, "It mean she's going to divorce him."
Thomas the tank engine barely understood marriage, much less what ever the heck divorce was. "What's a divorce?" Thomas asked.
Bob, now embarrassed beyond belief had no idea what to do or say, leaving Keith to answer Thomas's question.
"Well," Started Keith, "It's like the opposite of a marriage. Instead of two people deciding they want to be together, it's two people that are already together deciding they no longer want to be together."
Thomas took in this information. "Oh, so if friends decide they don't like each other anymore they get a divorce?" Questioned Thomas.
Bob at this point, looked like he was going to throw up.
"Well no, it's not quite like that." Continued Keith. "It's only for a married couple, because when people get married they take a special vow to be faithful to each other. And divorce is essentially getting rid of that vow."
"Oh, I think I understand now." Said Thomas.
"Good." Muttered Bob. "I just remembered I have a headache."
It was a dumb and obviously fabricated excuse, but at that point nobody cared, since they all just wanted to get out of that awkward situation. After all, they were quickly approaching their destination.