Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You're all wonderful.
In-person Conversation 7: Love, Grief, and Trauma Bonding
Daisy doesn't realize she's quaking the ship until she feels Natasha's arms around her. That gets her to stop.
"You can let go. I'm OK. I am under control right now." Daisy tells her girlfriend as she tries to remember the breathing exercises Dr. Margarita taught her.
"I think I'm going to stay close. You need a hug right now. You are not OK. I'm not even OK." Natasha tells her as she squeezes her tighter, but Daisy eventually pulls away.
"Yet Stark wants you to take over and send me back." That's the last thing Daisy remembers her girlfriend saying before the shaking started.
"The choice to go back is yours and yours alone. I will never force you to do something you're not ready to do." Natasha leans forward to kiss her, and Daisy lets it happen. She needs that kiss right now. It's the only thing that feels real.
"But me staying on this mission is yours. And I think I know what choice you're going to make." Daisy realizes she is emotionally compromised at the moment. She's trying to decide between crying and throwing up, realizing that neither one is what a Shield agent should be doing right now.
"Because I'm worried about you. You just shook the entire ship for about two minutes. You didn't stop until I hugged you. You can hurt yourself or others if that happens again."
"It won't. It was the shock of everything. I just talked to her a couple of days ago. I don't understand how she can be gone. Melinda May doesn't die. She doesn't." A tear fell down Daisy's face. Natasha wipes it away before she can.
"The soul stone requires a sacrifice. Melinda decided she should be the sacrifice. She knocked out Leo and consultant Fitzsimmons to do it." Natasha explained, and Daisy heard her voice crack for just a moment. She knows this is hard for Natasha too. She's known May for longer than Daisy has.
"That is absolutely something she would do." Daisy tries to smile through her watery eyes.
"Because of her actions, they now have the soul stone, the one thing Thanos didn't have the location of." This means they are a step ahead if they can keep it hidden.
"You don't have to continue with the mission. You can go to Malta and be with Phil. Yo-Yo and Joey are willing to come to take over for you." Natasha explained. It was tempting to leave. Coulson is probably a mess right now. But the mission comes first.
"No, we need to finish this now." Daisy pulled back from Natasha. "She wouldn't want me to leave the mission in the middle of it. I can't leave this unfinished." May deserves more than that.
"She would want you to do what's best for you." Natasha stroked her hair.
"I need to focus on the mission right now." If she concentrates on beating the purple monster, she won't have to think about losing her good mother figure. Daisy won't have to accept the fact that she's never going to see May again.
"OK." Natasha nods before gently kissing Daisy again. "Let's get the ship going somewhere else and then split from the group. I have a list of all known locations of Thanos. We need to keep moving until the team on Earth can get the stones to the other timeline." Natasha said as she got up from the couch they were sitting on. This ship has a lot of random couches, which makes sense for the Grand Master.
"How many stones do we have in our control?" Daisy asked as they made their way to the nearby hallway.
"We have control of everything but the Reality Stone," Natasha tells her as they almost literally run into Loki. Daisy barely avoids him.
"I deeply regret sending that to the Collector now." Loki groaned. Of course, he heard that.
"Why are you here? I thought you weren't speaking to me." Daisy looks directly at Loki.
"Since you were shaking the ship apart, I thought I would check on you. If you kill us all first, we can't beat the purple one." Of course, Natasha gives her a "Loki has a point" look. Daisy never expected her girlfriend to give her that look.
"No more shaking. I just needed a moment to accept what happened. I'm back, and I'm ready to kick purple ass." This is what May would've wanted. She has to do this.
"I assume the do-gooders have a plan to get the stone away from the Collector," Loki spoke.
"The Guardians of the Galaxy are retrieving it. We're waiting to hear back from them. Hopefully, we'll get something soon." Natasha explained.
"We are doomed." Loki lamented. "I don't trust former Ravagers named Star-Lord." It makes sense that Loki is familiar with other cosmic heroes. Daisy only knows what she knows from the other timeline. She didn't have time to talk to her girlfriend about what she was up to before breaking the bad news. "Especially because he fucked things up in the other timeline." Or maybe Loki read most of the notes from the other timeline.
"They saved your brother in the other timeline when Thanos destroyed the ship." Natasha pointed out.
"And killed me. Star Lord's rage fit also led to the team not getting the gauntlet." Daisy wouldn't characterize it like that, but he has a point.
"That is happening again. Where are we on getting to the other timeline?" She hopes it is soon.
"Close. Maybe tomorrow. Especially if Leo goes back." Natasha explained.
"OK. Let's go convince Thor to stay behind with the refugees." Daisy said as she started to walk again, but Natasha touched her shoulder gently.
"I will talk to him. Why don't you go back to your room and rest for a little while? Loki, can you take her?" Natasha asked, and Loki nodded his head in agreement. With that, Natasha kissed her goodbye.
Xxxx
"I'm sorry that you lost your good mother figure," Loki said once they were alone in Daisy's quarters a few minutes later.
"So am I. I don't believe it yet." Daisy confessed as she lay down on the bed. "I was there when Cal killed my birth mother to keep her from killing me. It didn't affect me like this."
"Because she wasn't a mother to you. This is different. I didn't care at all when my biological father died. He abandoned me. It was different with Odin. I was there when he died, and I don't know if I can accept it yet. Part of me thinks this is just another trick of his." That's when Daisy remembered that Loki lost his father just a few weeks ago. Things have been so crazy that she doubted Loki had time to process it.
"Do you think we will ever accept it?" Daisy asked.
"Eventually,"
"When?"
"I have yet to figure that out. I'm still processing my mother's death, and it has been five years." Loki confessed. "I blame myself for it every day. It's my biggest regret."
"I understand that very well right now." Daisy closes her eyes and tries not to think of May and Lincoln right now. She's doing a horrible job of it.
To be continued…