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Thursday morning Charlie came into form with his drumsticks and no books. "What are you up to, then?" Nick asked him. "You joining a rock band or something?"
Charlie laughed. "No. Rehearsal for the concert. We get out of classes all day."
"All day? Sneak me into the orchestra, will you?"
"With all your fabulous musical skills?" Charlie raised an adorably teasing eyebrow.
"Well, that's unfair. I've only had one lesson." Nick smiled at him.
"And you were terrible."
He leaned over, teasing softly, "Maybe you can show me again sometime." He couldn't help remembering the way Charlie's hands had felt on his.
Apparently Charlie couldn't either, because he blushed. "Shut up!"
When the bell rang, instead of going to his class, Nick walked Charlie to the gym, where the rehearsal was being held. "Nick, I think you're going the wrong way." Charlie grinned at him.
"I've never seen a rehearsal before. I'm expanding my horizons," Nick told him loftily.
"You mean you're putting off going to maths."
"Well, that, too." They walked into the gym together. "I can't believe you get the whole day off to rehearse for this."
Charlie flourished the drumsticks. "Sometimes, playing a musical instrument has its benefits."
"When is the concert?"
"Friday night."
"Can I come?"
"What? Why?"
"Because you're performing."
"You don't have to come," Charlie told him. "You've probably got way more interesting things to do."
Which was ridiculous, because Charlie knew perfectly well that most of Nick's Friday nights were spent with him, or doing homework, or going to dinner with his mum. It stung a little bit that Charlie was trying so hard to convince him not to go.
Before Nick could respond, the teacher called to Charlie to get his drum kit set up. Charlie smiled at him and went off to rehearse.
Nick turned to see Tara Jones in front of him. She smiled. "Hi, Nick."
"Tara!" He was surprised how nice it was to see her. "You're in the orchestra, too?"
"Yeah."
"I have literally no musical ability. Charlie tried to teach me the drums once, and I am absolutely crap."
She laughed. "You and Charlie getting along well, then?"
Nick looked over at Charlie, who was in the middle of setting up his drums. "Uh … yeah." It occurred to him that Tara had trusted him once with who she was. Maybe if he was ever going to reveal who he was, or who he thought he was becoming, Tara was the right person to start with. "Actually … Well … We're sort of going out."
Her delighted smile warmed him all through. "Are you?"
"I mean, we haven't made it official or anything, but … yeah. Please don't tell anyone, though."
"No, of course." She added thoughtfully, "It's funny how things turned out between us."
"What do you mean?"
Tara laughed. "I mean, when we were thirteen, I thought we were gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend forever."
Laughing with her, Nick nodded. "Yep. So did I." That seemed like such a long time ago now. He frowned. "Are you and Darcy out to your friends, then?"
"Since I, uh, posted on Insta, everyone kind of knows now." She was no longer smiling. "Um, some people were surprised, a couple of people already knew …"
Before she could finish, Darcy came up behind her and blasted a trumpet in her ear.
"Darcy!" Tara shouted.
Darcy laughed. "Triumph at last."
The teacher called to them both, sounding impatient.
Tara turned back to Nick. "We're here all day if you want to meet us for lunch."
Nick thought that sounded like a brilliant idea. If he couldn't be this person he thought he really was with his friends, maybe what he needed were new friends—friends who knew him as that person and accepted him for it. "Yeah, that'd be nice."
He turned and watched them join the band, lifting his head to find Charlie sitting at his drum kit in the back. When their eyes met, Charlie smiled and waved. Nick smiled, too, lifting his hand. He stood watching for a moment until it occurred to him that he was terribly late for maths and his teacher was not going to be pleased at all.
He met the girls in the corner of the hockey court at lunch. "Hey, Nick!" Tara said. She turned to Darcy. "I don't think you two have met yet—officially. Darcy, this is Nick, Nick, this is Darcy. My girlfriend." The two of them shared a happy look.
"Hi, Darcy. Nice to meet you."
"Same."
Sitting down, he thought it would be unfair of him to ask Tara to keep secrets from her girlfriend. "I think you know Charlie Spring, right?"
"Yeah." Darcy raised an eyebrow, like she knew what he was about to say.
"I told Tara this morning—Charlie and I are going out."
She gasped with what appeared to be joy. Nick liked that about her—she seemed so enthusiastic. "Oh, my God, we've found another one!"
"You can't tell anyone," Tara reminded her. She turned to Nick. "She won't tell anyone."
"Yeah, I um …"
From behind him, he heard Harry's voice. "Not having lunch with your boyfriend today?" He turned, alarmed, but Harry was talking to Tao.
Tao, unbothered by this, stopped to say, "No, I'm waiting for your mum, actually."
The lads laughed at that, and Harry backed off. Nick frowned. Was Charlie right? Did Harry pick on people because he knew it was the only way to keep his friends?
Nick turned back to the girls, picking up the conversation where they'd left off. "I'm not really … out yet, or anything."
"Do you want to be?" Darcy asked him.
"I don't know. I mean, I don't even know what my sexuality is." It was really nice having people he could be open with. He'd never had a friend he could say the word 'sexuality' to and have it be a serious conversation. He didn't like talking about this with Charlie because he didn't want to burden him, but Darcy and Tara could understand and his problems didn't affect them.
"That's okay," Darcy said. "Tara didn't know she was a lesbian until we'd kissed, like, six times."
"It was two times."
They all laughed.
"Oh, my God, do you know what we need to do? Double date." Darcy looked at the two of them. "Us and Charlie, tomorrow night, before the concert, milkshakes."
"I like milkshakes," Nick agreed. It sounded like the perfect way to take a step toward opening up and giving Charlie what he deserved.
"Good."
Darcy leaned toward him. "Do you know, I wondered about you two at the rugby match."
"Did you?" Nick asked, surprised.
Tara shook her head. "Don't mind her. She sees secret gay relationships everywhere."
"And I'm right far more often than you give me credit for."
Nick thought he ought to feel strange that someone had noticed him and Charlie all that time ago, but it actually felt quite nice to think that they had seemed like they belonged together to someone.
He walked the girls back to the rehearsal after they'd finished lunch. As they approached the doors, Tara turned to him. "Don't feel like you have to come out to anyone before you're ready."
"Oh. Yeah." It was what Charlie kept telling him. But putting it together with the way Tara's face had changed this morning when she talked about her coming out, it made Nick think she was talking from her own experience.
"Being out is hard," she told him. "A lot of people will see you in a different way, and it is a lot to deal with."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah."
"Are you, like …" He searched for the right way to put it. There were so many parallels to his path and Tara's, he wondered if this might be another one. "Definitely gay? Or do you think you're bi, or … I mean, when we were thirteen, I think I did like you. I mean, I think I have liked girls before, so I wondered if you felt the same."
Tara smiled. "I'm definitely gay. Kissing you was actually one of the things that made me realise I don't like kissing guys."
Nick supposed he ought to find that bothersome, but since Charlie seemed to quite like kissing him, and that was what mattered, it didn't feel particularly bad that his kiss had turned Tara off boys. He laughed. "Okay. Um … Happy to help."
Both the girls laughed at that, and he couldn't help being happy to be standing here having such an open conversation with two people who knew everything about him and liked him anyway. Liked him the better for who he was, which he hadn't expected.
"See you tomorrow?" Tara asked.
"Yeah. That sounds really good." As they turned to walk away, he said, "Um … you're kind of the first people I've told about Charlie."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"And does it feel good to have told someone?"
Nick didn't even have to think about the answer. It felt amazing. "Yeah. Really does."
Tara smiled and turned to go.
"Thanks!" he called after the two of them, and they waved as they hurried off to rehearsal.