Andrealphus started, "The prosecution calls-"
Alastor interrupted, "Ah ah ah! This is a civil trial. If you want to make this a full court case, I'm sure my love Vaggie would love to preside. Otherwise you're the plaintiff, not the prosecution."
Andrealphus' head minutely turned before he said, "Oh no, we'll be fine with the civil case."
"Excellent to hear!" Obviously loving every second, he said, "Now, who was the plaintiff going to call?"
Andrealphus didn't seem phased by Alastor's mockery. "We call Beelzebub, the Sin of Gluttony."
"Ohhhh, starting out swinging!" Alastor said.
"I object!" Blitzo yelled.
"On what grounds?" Alastor asked.
"Because he's a DICK!" the Imp shouted.
Andrealphus snickered as Alastor ruled, "I completely agree! Those, however, are not proper grounds for an objection. You're overruled."
"Blitzy, please calm down," Stolas murmured. "This is not a time to let your adorable hot-headedness get the better of you. Please, trust me to take care of this."
Blitzo hemmed and hawed until he flopped down in his seat, crossing his arms in defiance.
"My goodness, you've managed to train him? How cute," Andrealphus chuckled.
Alastor banged his gavel. "Direct your comments and questions to the bench, please!"
"My apologies, Head of Hell," Andrealphus said with a small bow. "I shall keep to the Charters."
"As will we." Stolas glared at his ex-brother-in-law.
"Proceed," Alastor said after the two sides quieted down.
"Thank you." Andrealphus again said, "We summon Beelzebub."
Charlie was expecting her to appear in a puff of noxious smoke. Instead, she burst through the courtroom doors.
"Hey hey gurl!" Queen Bee immediately made for Charlie. She exclaimed, "Damn girl, you're looking fresh! Has it really been 76 years since we saw each other?"
"Yes." Charlie felt a headache developing as Queen Bee settled one of her hands on her shoulder.
"Ha! Well, I'm throwing a party next week. You and your partners are welcome to join! I promise, it'll be a party they'd love. I'll be gentle with them." She nodded at Vaggie who was shooting daggers at her and her hand on Charlie.
"With plenty of cotton candy," Charlie sighed.
"Hell yeah! Belphagor is even letting me have some of her stash!"
"Would you control your witness?" Alastor didn't quite snap at the plaintiffs.
It was then that Beelzebub finally noticed Alastor in the judge's seat. She chuckled, "There's your boy-toy!" She tapped a finger against her chin. "He's a lot different than I thought you'd fall for. Very stiff."
Andrealphus asked her, "Could you take the witness stand?"
She snorted. "I'll do what I want, which is chat with Charlie! It's been too long."
"I can decide the case right now," Alastor threatened with an edge in his voice. "It won't be pretty for you, little light-feathered birdie."
Andrealphus stiffened at the degrading reference. The Ars Goetia with him gasped in shock. Andrealphus's fists clenched. Somehow he still held his composure, an interesting action considering most Ars Goetia's attitudes towards lessers.
"Remember, Sin of Gluttony. This is a personal favour," Andrealphus growled.
"Oh yeah, I remember." She gave him a toothy grin. "I have the perfect idea for what I'll ask for." A brief dance was followed by, "Hey hey! Party at your place!"
" Please ," Andrealphus begged.
"Okay, Short Stuff." She fluttered over to the witness stand and settled in.
"Are you familiar with the Hellhound named Loona?" Andrealphus began.
"Hell yeah! She's a cutie, if short-tempered. High-strung. She really needed some drugs in her to loosen her up."
"Define 'short-tempered' please. What makes you say that?" Andrealphus asked.
She laughed. "She tried to pick a fight with me. Me! Got me pissed enough that I partially transformed."
"Would you call her 'unhinged'?"
"Not really." Beelzebub shrugged with all four shoulders.
"What about 'violent'?"
She thought for a moment before answering. "I'd say so. She was picking a fight with me most of the night, and not in the fun way."
"Imagine: a Hellhound so violent that she tried to assault a Sin!" Andrealphus announced to the court.
"Objection!" Stolas stood up.
"Sustained." Alastor eyed Andrealphus with a grin. "Keep comments like that to yourself! You can't influence me, but insults are for outside the court if only for the Charter's sake."
Andrealphus was likely frowning. He finally ground out, "Yes, the Charter." He shook his head before saying, "I dismiss this witness."
"The defence wishes to question this witness!" Stolas immediately said.
"As the Charter says, a Sin may reject requests from anyone save for the Head of Hell!" Alastor turned and asked, "Do you plan on answering any more questions?"
She considered it. "Eh. Why not?"
"Objection!" Andrealphus shouted.
"Overruled~" Alastor lilted. He looked at Stolas. "You may proceed."
"Thank you." Stolas walked from behind the defence bench and began pacing in front of Beelzebub. "Tell me, Sin of Gluttony, what say you on Loona's personality?"
"High-strung and a little short on caring for her dad. Once she loosened up it was a much better time! The honey was definitely flowing."
"What stopped the party for her? Why did she try to 'start shit' with you?"
"I tried to tell her that her dad was fucked up. He was out-of-control and ruining the mood." Beelzebub snorted. "She had it in her head that I knew more about her dad than her. Super jealous."
"So she was very protective of her father?"
"She did eventually calm down and went to find him," Beelzebub noted.
"Would you say she loves her father?" Stolas asked.
"The taste of her honey told me so," Queen Bee said.
"No further questions," Stolas said, going and taking a seat again.
"You may leave," Alastor told her.
She immediately flew up and buzzed over to Charlie. She winked, "I hope I can see you three soon!" before she left.
"Next witness?" Alastor was having the time of his life. Lording his power over those supposedly 'better' than him. Charlie felt good for him! He was in his element.
"The pro-erm, plaintiffs call Agent One!" Andrealphus floated into the air, magic concentrating in his hands as he made sigils in the air. A summoning glyph appeared over the witness stand before a human was unceremoniously dropped into the chair. He scrambled right-side up as he pulled out a gun.
"All of you, FREEZE!" he called out, pointing it at everyone around.
"Calling a human ? An anti-demon agent at that?" Stolas gaped before turning to Alastor. " Your Honor…!"
"You know the Charter says humans are ineligible as witnesses," Alastor noted, staring down Andrealphus and not minding the gun pointed at his head.
"I believe what this human witnessed outweighs the Charter's ban. I think-"
Alastor cut him off, static in his voice. " No. Humans. " He waved his hand, glyphs appearing in the air. The human was pulled up into a vortex and sent through a gate back to Earth.
All the Ars Goetia in the room's jaws dropped. One of the Goetia on the plaintiff's side burst out, "What kind of trickery is this?! A Sinner, using our magic? How ?"
"I am a demon of many talents!" Alastor answered.
"It should be impossible!" Stolas gaped.
"Nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it. Now then…" He stared down the plaintiffs. "Do you have any other witnesses as it relates to the case?"
"Of course." Andrealphus looked back at the doors, a shit-eating grin on his face. "We call Octavia Goetia to the stand!"
"Objection!" Stolas called out, angry. "She was to be a defence witness!"
"Overruled," Alastor said gleefully. "It doesn't matter whose witness she is as long as she tells the truth!"
"Of course she will," Andrealphus smarmily assured. He snapped his fingers.
It wasn't even five seconds later that Octavia walked in. Charlie remembered her being a tiny little thing. Now she was fully grown with dark plumage and a dour expression. She was wearing an emo get-up, her attention on her phone.
"Charlie, she's an adult," Vaggie whispered to her.
"In Ars Goetia society, one isn't an adult until the age of thirty or they marry," Charlie explained.
"Huh."
"Octavia, please take the stand," Andrealphus ordered.
"You're not my dad," she snapped back. Still, she did as he said.
"My dearest niece, what do you think of your imminent step-family?" Andrealphus asked as he stepped out from behind the desk to stand in front of her.
Octavia shrugged, still looking at her phone. "They're okay, I guess."
"How does it feel, losing your father to this new family?" he leadingly queried.
"Objection! He's leading the witness!" Stolas shouted.
Before Alastor could interject, Andrealphus said, "I'll rephrase. Does your father have enough time for you?"
This time she looked up. Her gaze shot to Stolas before looking back at her uncle. "...no."
Stolas looked like someone had slapped him. He mumbled, confused, "Octavia…?"
"Could you please elaborate?" Andrealphus looked pleased, like he knew what the upcoming answer was.
"When my mum and dad split up, I thought it was the end of the world. Then my mum tried to kill me, to get my dad's stuff. I only had him left." She looked at the ground. "When Blitz and Loona moved in, my dad said it would be a complete loving family. All it did was make me feel like a stranger in my own house. These new people have his attention. They roam like they own the place. I…" Octavia bit at her beak. "I don't feel welcome."
"And the Hellhound? Does it make you uncomfortable having a loose animal like that free to stalk the house?"
Charlie felt like Stolas should have objected. It looked like he was preoccupied with the horror of hearing his daughter say those things.
"She's okay, I guess. Kinda violent when she gets going. Beats her dad up real bad sometimes."
"See? The Hellhound injures its owner!" Andrealphus was having the time of his life. "Do you feel safe around it?"
"Not really. I don't know what will trigger her," Octavia answered, this time staring daggers at Blitzo.
"Hold on!" Blitzo finally burst. "My precious Loona would never -"
"Octavia, why didn't you talk to me -"
"You don't care enough to listen!"
"How crude -"
" ORDER! " A burst of green magic swept through the room. Alastor was obviously annoyed, his horns larger and his eyes black. Everyone involved looked up at him as his wig sat haphazardly on his head. He boomed, " I will not tolerate any sort of chaos in MY courtroom! Everyone, sit DOWN! " Everyone complied, Andrealphus looking to protest but eventually conceding and taking his seat. Once everyone was settled, Alastor shrank back down. More civilly though with his eyes still black, he said, "Excellent. I excuse the witness."
Stolas started, "But the defence-"
" The witness. Is. Excused. "
Octavia appeared relieved, rushing out with an upturned nose at her dad. Her phone was back out before she even walked out the doors. Stolas watched her, hand partially stretched out towards her.
"Now then!" Alastor looked at the plaintiffs. "Do you have any other witnesses?"
"Not at this time," Andrealphus responded.
Alastor turned to the defence. "And you? What witnesses do you call?" Stolas looked helpless as he kept his gaze on the doors. Blitzo was growling at the plaintiffs. Neither were paying attention to Alastor. After about thirty seconds, Alastor said, "I'll take that as no witnesses."
"Our case is open-and-shut," Andrealphus insisted, starting his ending speech. "The defence has no defence. The Hellhound is a danger to my niece; she said so herself! She doesn't feel safe with that animal scurrying about. This court must rule in the plaintiff's favour!"
He sat down. Nice, short, and sweet. Charlie was surprised as they normally talked for forever . Maybe he read the room?
Again, the defence was too stricken to say anything.
"I see." Alastor nodded as he looked at everyone in the room. His gaze settled on Charlie and Vaggie. The cheeky grin and sparkling eyes he gave them - and only them; no one else would've picked it out - told Charlie he was about to pull one over on both the defence and the plaintiffs. He started, "I have heard plenty from witnesses for the plaintiff. The defence completely fell apart. As the bright blue birdie over there said, it's open-and-shut." A toothy grin was followed by a lilted, "There is one more witness we haven't heard from~
He took a breath and said to both sides. "I call Loona the Hellhound to the stand!"
Both sides straightened up, the plaintiffs complaining, "Head of Hell, we must protest! That is beyond your purview."
That set Alastor off. The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. He grew to his full Wendigo form, towering over the Ars Goetia, covered in green stitches and glyphs. She recognized a few as Ars Goetia glyphs.
"' Beyond my purview'? Child, there is NOTHING in this court beyond my authority! I am the Head of Hell. I MAKE the rules. I DELETE the rules! My word is ALL THAT MATTERS! I allow you to try and sway me. Do not take that as you having power over me. Understood, little birds? "
Andrealphus was annoyed but still answered, "Yes, Head of Hell. We understand completely."
" Good ." Alastor changed back to his regular form and said, "As I was saying, I call Loona the Hellhound to the stand."
"Don't look at us," Blitzo growled. "Those pricks kidnapped her!"
"So you stole his property?" Alastor asked, obviously pleased at the revelation.
"It was a danger," Andrealphus explained.
"It still warrants punitive damages," Alastor noted. Andrealphus frowned at that. He was about to protest before thinking better of it. His beak clicked shut as Alastor's smile grew. He murmured, "Good bird." Alastor then stared the plaintiffs down. "Produce the witness."
Andrealphus nodded at the other two Ars Goetia. The two got up and moved to the middle of the courtroom. They both began casting summoning magic. With a burst of blue magic, between them appeared a Hellhound.
She was bound in chains and a muzzle. The chains were tight, preventing her from moving even a little. Her eyes wildly looked around the room until they settled on Blitzo. Charlie was pretty sure she gasped, "Dad!" before the two magically dragged her to the witness stand and left her. They resumed their seats like little robots.
Alastor looked down at Loona and tsked. "Do you honestly think I can question her as she is?" He snapped his fingers. The magic, chains, and muzzle holding her melted away, leaving her flopped over in her seat. She immediately straightened back up as Alastor said, "You're in a courtroom. Your answers to my questions are very important for your future. Stay calm and cool-headed and you'll do fine. Understood?"
"DAD!" Loona tried to run over to Blitzo. Alastor stopped her with a black barrier, eyes flashing black.
"I said 'understood'!" The snarl out of his mouth calmed her down as did her dad motioning to take the stand.
"It's okay, Loony," Blitzo said, also trying to stay calm behind tears. "Do what he says and everything will be fine."
Strangely level-headed considering his reactions earlier. Maybe he understood better now.
Loona rubbed an arm before her ears tucked and she sat in the witness stand.
"Good."
Alastor's questions were…strange.
"What is your favourite colour?"
"Do you like fresh bloody steak?"
"What do you think of radio?" Okay, that one wasn't that strange for Alastor.
"Why do you fight your father?"
Each one was inane. No damning evidence, no critical questions. It was all banal.
Finally the plaintiffs had enough. "Head of Hell, what is the point of these questions?"
Alastor looked pleased, clearly hoping they would butt in and ask. He answered, "I'm establishing a point."
"What 'point' do you need to make with questioning that creature?" Andrealphus asked.
"Oh, nothing much." Alastor propped his head in his hand. "Simply proving that this Hellhound - and likely all Hellhounds - are just as capable and mentally fit as any demon!"
"I don't understand," Stolas stated his own thought. "Why would you need to prove that?"
"So I have plenty of evidence to strike off the part in the Charter about Hellhounds being property."
Everyone could've heard a pin drop. Then all three plaintiffs stood, yelling various things.
"You can't do that!"
"That's against the Charters!"
The Charters have stood for millenia -"
" SILENCE! " The ear-splitting shout made Charlie yelp and cover her ears. Vaggie did the same. Alastor said, "I'm sorry, my brides. I simply must keep my court in order."
More orderly, Andrealphus protested, "You can't make sweeping decisions like that! The Charters-"
"Ah yes. The Charters." Alastor waved a hand. A large glowing scroll, ripe with dark magicks, rolled out in front of him. He scanned the document until he got to a certain part. "You mean this section? 'Hellhounds are property, only having agency through an owner'?"
"Yes. As you can see, it's written in stone."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that ." Alastor cut a finger with his thumb claw and began spreading it on the Charter. As they watched, the words began to change.
All the Ars Goetia in the room stared, horrified. One - Charlie wasn't sure who - sputtered, "The Charters…!"
"And there!" Alastor finished spreading his blood across the Charter. He read out loud, "'Hellhounds are free to rule themselves as any demon. They can determine their own destiny regardless of others' attempts to control them unless a Hell Pact is created'. That sounds much better, doesn't it?"
"Uhm, Head of Hell…?" Stolas asked, "What does that mean for the case?"
Alastor said like he was explaining to a child, "Hellhounds are no longer property. Thus she cannot be held captive or enslaved. She is as free as any demon that hasn't made a deal."
Blitzo perked up. "That sounds good. That's good, right?"
Alastor nodded at Loona. "Go on. Leave the courtroom free. Or stay. Your choice!"
No one needed to tell her twice. She rushed over to her dad and step-dad and hugged them both. Stolas still seemed shell-shocked from earlier but still accepted the hug.
"Awwww." Charlie's eyes sparkled as she watched the little family reunite. A clicking noise drew her attention back to Andrealphus. His beak was shaking, his eyes wide in offence, his feathers standing on end as he glared at Loona and her family. He then caught Charlie out of the corner of his eye.
He turned to her and hissed, "Princess, surely you cannot allow this!"
Oh, this was the fun part! She said with a smug shrug, "I'm not the Head of Hell. Any dealings with the Ars Goetia and the Charters of Hell aren't in my purview."
"Hnnnnnn…!" Andrealphus didn't even bother walking or storming out the door. He swept an arm and vanished in a puff of bright blue smoke. The other Ars Goetia on that side followed suit.
"That bitch is such a sore loser," Blitzo snickered.
"We are still in court," Alastor noted with glee. "I'll have to fine the plaintiffs for running away during court proceedings." He sat there for a second before knocking the gavel on the bench. "Court is adjourned!"
The family walked out of the courtroom, a sad smile on Stolas's face as they left. Alastor hopped down from the bench, not even bothering with the steps, and snapped the courtroom equipment back out of existence. He straightened his jacket and laughed.
"That was quite a bit of fun!" Alastor laughed. "I hope there are more cases like that."
"You did SO GOOD!" Charlie cried, jumping up and tackling Alastor in a hug. Vaggie pulled her back as Alastor raised his hand away from the mess. Calming down, she repeated, "You did a good job! I would've never thought of that as a solution."
"Yeah. When in the world did you read the entire Charters of Hell?" Vaggie asked.
"It was my bedtime reading material for the last week," Alastor explained. "Very interesting! I hope someone tries something with the 'measure of an adult' clause. I would love to hear the arguments before putting my predetermined opinion into action."
Charlie didn't laugh as heartily as Vaggie or Alastor at that. She did think that the arguments should have some effect.
"Now what do we do?" Vaggie asked.
"I say we go back to what we were doing before we were interrupted," Alastor said cheerily.
"Sounds good to me," Charlie agreed, her face reddening again at the idea of cuddling …!
"I guess that's the plan." Vaggie hooked an arm into Alastor's tentacle.
"I can't WAIT!" Charlie gushed, hooking her own arm into Alastor's.
"Let's go, my loves." With that, they vanished into shadows back to the tower.