In the early light of dawn, Blair slowly awoke from her slumber. The warmth of the previous night had given way to a biting morning chill that seeped through her skin, causing her to shiver involuntarily. As she stirred, a reassuring hand caressed her arm. Chuck's. Their proximity made her shiver even more.
Blair found herself pressed tightly against his side, her head nestled on his chest, and one of her legs entwined with his. Despite their tangled embrace, the morning cold proved unrelenting. Wearing a tiny dress and having forgotten to bring anything to cover herself on their impromptu trip to the beach, she instinctively burrowed deeper into his arms, reluctant to fully embrace the morning's awakening.
They had talked late into the night and somehow fallen asleep in the sand. What an absolute travesty. How on earth was she going to get rid of the inevitable mess in her hair? The mere thought of grains seeping into her immaculate locks was enough to make her cringe. But what had Chuck told her? Try something else, let go. And she had done just that. So she tried again.
Last night had served as a soothing balm for her tormented soul. Amidst the whirlwind of uncertainty and confusion that had engulfed her following the confrontation with Nate, Blair had desperately wanted to get out of that wretched house, yearning to forget her cheating boyfriend's new batch of pathetic excuses and her so-called best friend's unforgivable betrayal. What outrageous audacity laid in "Hey, Blair, I almost slept with your best friend more than once. I didn't, though. But I wanted to. Plus, I love you." He really didn't. The sheer nerve of it all defied belief.
How could you possibly love someone and still hurt and lie to them over and over again without a pinch of remorse?
When Humphrey had spoken those dreaded words, Blair's first impulse had been to silence him, to prevent the painful confirmation that her head had long known, but her stubborn heart had refused to accept. Chuck had been right; she acted like a fool because it was far easier than facing the unsettling reality before her eyes, yet she was anything but that. Denial had been her shield, a temporary respite from the harsh truths that lay before her.
Her fairytale prince had turned her carriage into a pumpkin. Nate had not only cheated on her but also broken the most sacred of trusts, and to make matters worse, he had repeatedly favored Serena over her. Her best friend had been hiding the truth for months, urging her to mend a broken relationship when she knew it was beyond repair. The whole world knew. No longer the uncontested queen, she had been relegated to the humiliating role of second place beneath the ever-beloved Serena van der Woodsen in the eyes of practically everyone. On top of it all, she was sick.
No matter how fiercely one resisted, the truth had a harsh way of imposing itself, bringing with it a plunge into the abyss of realization.
The blindfold that Blair had once carefully placed over her eyes and fought tooth and nail to keep in place had only taken a boy from Brooklyn, under the mocking and knowing gaze of Georgina Sparks, to rip it off completely.
A part of her had wished for both Nate and Serena to deny the truth, to affirm her growing conviction of insanity, and to quell her profoundly rooted fears. Yet, Serena's transparency and Nate's apathetic indifference had only deepened her anguish and extinguished all hope. He cared so little, loved her so fleetingly, that it all felt unworthy of even a semblance of a fight. It had become one more nail in the coffin, a coffin of her own making.
The weight of her imperfections loomed large in her mind.
Had he ever loved her? Had she? The kind of love that consumed you, altered your very existence. The kind of love that involved care, closeness, protection, attraction, affection, and trust. They had failed at almost all of them. Did they truly feel it, or had they merely been together for so long that love had become a matter of habit and familiarity? What set her feelings for Nate and Serena apart? And Chuck? She recalled the sensation of riding behind him on the motorcycle and quickly stopped her train of thought. Nothing had happened, and nothing ever would.
It was time to put her childhood dreams to rest where they rightfully belonged—in her childhood. Those were the dreams she had pursued with unwavering determination, but in the process she had sacrificed herself and lost sight of who she truly was. But she was nothing if not strong. She would adapt and reshape those dreams, conquering them in a new form.
For if there was one thing Blair Waldorf knew for certain, it was that she would always rise to the top. No matter how many times the world tried to bring her down, she would persevere.
Last night was only the beginning.
As another gust of cold air swept over them, Blair's senses fully awakened, and she became acutely aware of their rather compromising position.
"Blair?" Chuck's voice, initially hoarse from sleep, broke the silence.
With a swift and somewhat panicked movement, Blair disentangled herself from Chuck, a subtle flush creeping across her cheeks. What had felt intimate under the cover of darkness now seemed exposed in the harsh morning light, as if some secret had been laid bare. The momentary intimacy they had shared was abruptly shattered, and she scrambled to her feet, her heart racing.
"Um, we should probably head back to the house," she stammered, her voice trembling slightly. "I mean, it's getting cold out here."
Chuck, still groggy and in the process of rousing himself, raised an eyebrow. "Hold your horses there."
He managed to sit up, stretching his arms languidly. With a more collected air, Chuck retrieved his crumpled jacket, which had served him as a pillow. His hair, a tousled mess from their impromptu slumber, seemed to have taken on a life of its own.
"Hurry up, Chuck. Your utter lack of physical fitness is absolutely appalling." Blair said, her patience wearing thin.
"Well, if you'd stop using me as a human blanket, maybe my limbs would function properly. But I'll do my best to live up to your high standards, Waldorf." Chuck's lips curled into a lazy smile as he stood up, shaking the sand from his impeccably tailored attire. "What's the rush?"
"Time is of the essence, and I've already given you more than I ever intended."
"Are you sure about that?"
Of course she wasn't.
Chuck handed her his jacket, gesturing with a slight nod for her to put it on. Blair gave him a puzzled look.
"Weren't you cold?"
Indeed, she was. And so, she gracefully accepted the jacket, even though it wrapped around her like a potato sack, a testament to the substantial difference in their heights. Despite the oversized fit, it was comfortable, warm and smelled distinctly of Chuck — cedar wood, fine leather, and scotch. She snuggled into it, savoring the familiar scent.
As they made their way back to the motorcycle, Chuck stopped to check his phone. Blair, unable to keep her nose out of his business, leaned in closer. His phone screen lit up with a flurry of text messages and missed calls. Maybe it was the girl he had stood up the night before. Didn't she realize that nothing was less attractive than desperation? The thought made her want to smile.
"Did something happen?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
Chuck's eyes scanned through the notifications, and Nate's name kept popping up. It hadn't even occurred to her that something might have happened at the house. If Nate and Serena were worried, they could comfort each other in their own unique way.
"Nah, it's Nate," Chuck replied casually. "I was supposed to meet him last night when you… well, when we had our little encounter in the hallway."
"Right. Nate," Blair muttered to herself, her earlier assumption proven wrong. There wasn't a girl in the picture at all, and that made her feel a little disappointed. Why had she secretly hoped for another explanation behind Chuck's missed rendezvous? What was wrong with her?
The notion of Chuck choosing her over someone else held a strangely comforting appeal. He had opted to spend time with her without any hidden agendas or expectations. Chuck had simply dropped everything to be by her side for the night, just because she had asked him to. That had to be a first. It was genuinely gratifying to find herself as the first choice for once.
But that someone else was Nate—his best friend.
It was incredibly unfair to put Chuck in such a difficult position, caught between her and Nate. Nate was the most important person in Chuck's life, and Blair didn't want to be the cause of a rift between them. However, spending the rest of the summer under the same roof as the new, happy couple, without having anyone really on her side, was a challenge she wasn't sure they could all overcome without driving each other to the brink of madness. Perhaps she should consider leaving for everyone's sake, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Blair refused to retreat like a coward. She hadn't done anything wrong, and Nate and Serena should be the ones feeling ashamed and begging for her forgiveness.
As soon as Chuck had pocketed his phone, Blair quickly climbed onto the back of the bike, the lure of fresh clothes and a hot shower growing stronger with each passing moment. She wrapped her arms around Chuck as they sped away from the beach, leaving behind the sand and the stars as the only witnesses to the intimate moments and heartfelt words they had shared.
Two days had passed since Blair's world had turned upside down. During this time, she hadn't seen or heard from any of her friends. However, the blame wasn't entirely hers; none of them had sought her out, not even Chuck.
Well, that was not entirely true, as he had sent her a few texts to check on her, which should have been enough. Yet, instead of finding solace in the brief exchange of messages, Blair's frustration had grown, leaving her increasingly restless. They were all under the same roof, for heaven's sake. She had hoped that, at the very least, the lovebirds would have made an effort to heal the rift by now, but it seemed that she was the one who had to make the first move. How dared they.
To keep herself occupied, Blair had been flipping through fashion magazines, sunbathing on her room's terrace, and catching up on the latest gossip. Was it true that Penelope was dating a college graduate?
The thought of leaving was starting to look more appealing than Blair had first thought. It no longer seemed like a terrible idea, especially given how isolated and lonely she felt. But where would she even go? Back to the Waldorf penthouse, where her mother's ever-watchful and judgmental eyes would constantly scrutinize her every move? At least there, Dorota would be by her side. Dorota, her most cherished and longest-serving maid, had always made her feel genuinely cared for, even if their relationship was primarily transactional. Over the years, Blair had grown to love and value her, secretly hoping that the bond they had developed wasn't entirely one-sided. Of course, Blair would never admit this to anyone, not in a million years. Perhaps she could go to Paris with her father and Roman. A fabulous French summer visiting designer boutiques along the illustrious Champs-Élysées, strolling along the Seine River, or immersing herself in the cultural treasures of the Louvre. But Serena wouldn't be there with her, and she couldn't bear witnessing her father's juvenile infatuation all alone.
Blair felt trapped in her room, which was becoming monotonous. What had she expected? That Chuck would show up every night to whisk her away on his motorcycle? For them to sleep on the beach until dawn or stroll through the grocery store like a couple, even though they were far from being one?
She could have taken the initiative and gone to see Chuck, as she had done two days before, but it had taken a considerable effort to ask for his help. There was no way she was going to look weak and vulnerable twice in a row. The ball was firmly in his court.
As for Serena, Blair's best friend hadn't even tried. Considering that her specialty was running away from problems and hoping they would go away, she could very well be dancing on top of every bar in Ibiza, lost in oblivion, for all Blair knew. This time, Blair had no intention of making it any easier for Serena. The clock was ticking, and she was tired of waiting. Their friendship was already teetering on a thin and tense line, and Blair was determined not to falter or waver if this indeed marked the end.
Enough was enough, and Blair was tired of hiding like a caged animal. With her head held high and dressed in a floral skirt and clover lime shirt, she was going to face her friends and whatever they had to say, or not say.
As Blair meticulously applied the final touch of lip gloss, a gentle yet insistent knock on her door caused her hand to momentarily falter. In response, she began to pace back and forth, her anticipation growing with each step, as she waited for her visitor to reveal their identity.
But no one entered. Whoever was waiting outside believed they needed her permission. The second knock echoed around the room.
"Yes?" Blair asked.
A familiar voice, Serena's, answered, lacking her usual liveliness. "B, can we talk?"
So, her supposed best friend was not in Ibiza after all; she had stayed. However, it was hard to ignore the two days of silence as the painful sting of betrayal smoldered intensely in her chest. Perhaps those two days had been the time Serena needed to give free vent to her passion with Nate, and now she had come bearing the good news. God, what a miserable thought.
Blair paused briefly to straighten her skirt before she approached the door.
"What do you want?" Blair's tone was stern, and she hesitated before allowing her inside, finding it easier to talk without making direct eye contact.
The fear of vanishing like a fragile feather in a gust of wind if she looked into her friend's eyes for too long lingered in the back of her mind. She had wished for Serena to come to her, to implore for forgiveness, to offer an explanation, to reassure her that she wasn't losing her sanity—anything to restore their bond to its former state. But now that the moment had arrived, all she wanted to do was scream.
Everything came easy to Serena, served on a silver platter with no need for hard work or sacrifice required to get what she wanted. Blair both envied and loved her deeply, and she wasn't ready to face the fact that the people she loved most had carelessly hurt her without a second thought.
"To talk to you. To explain." Serena offered, her voice muffled by the door.
Summoning her courage, she opened the door. The confrontation was necessary, and it was now or never. However, this didn't make her feel any more prepared for what lay ahead.
"Where were you?" Blair demanded before Serena had a chance to explain, her fingers white-knuckled on the door, slamming it shut behind her friend.
"What?"
"You heard me. Why the hell didn't you come earlier? Why wait until now?"
"I thought… I thought you didn't want to see me."
"You were right. I didn't."
"Then?"
"At the very least, you could have tried."
"So you could yell at me and tell me how awful I am, is that it, B?"
"Yes!" Blair exclaimed, her frustration boiling over. "Haven't you considered that I deserved that much? Because you were truly awful, Serena. You were. I had every right to yell at you, but instead, you disappeared. Again."
"I am not your punching bag."
"And what am I, huh? Oh, right, I'm the person you chose to humiliate, to twist into the center of every Upper East Side cheap sordid tale. I'm the one who didn't even deserve the truth from her so-called best friend. I'm the one you chose to bear the weight of your betrayal. God forbid Saint Serena van der Woodsen should have to endure a few harsh words about her deplorable behavior, words she has rightly earned by shattering every bit of trust we had."
"Do you think I enjoyed it?" Serena's voice wavered, her eyes welling up with tears. "Do you think it didn't tear me apart?"
"You made your choice. No one forced you to kiss my boyfriend," Blair reminded her. "You can't just expect things to go back to the way they were."
"Just let me explain," her friend pleaded.
But Blair wasn't sure she wanted an explanation anymore. Perhaps their relationship was truly irreparable. How could she move on? Many bridges had been burned.
"What is there to explain?" Blair asked wearily. "Do you want to teach me how to seduce Nate? Tutor me in the only subject I have ever failed? You must be so proud of yourself."
"No, that's not—"
"You knew how much I loved him."
"Really?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"We both know Nate was nothing more than a pawn in your childhood fantasy, a prop you believed you needed to fulfill your dreams and maintain the façade of the 'perfect girl' that everyone should admire and imitate. Stop pretending this is about love, or even Nate for that matter."
"Right, because if there's anyone perfect around here, it's you," Blair shot back in a futile attempt.
Serena's gaze didn't waver, her words cutting through the tension. "You're forgetting that we've been friends forever, Blair, and I know you inside out. We've been to hell and back. You try so hard to conceal who you really are. You put on this act of a strong woman who doesn't allow herself to suffer or feel, but that's all it is, an act."
"And yet, I'm not the one who goes around betraying my best friend."
Anger, pain, and shame battled within Blair, contorting her features as she stood there, hesitant, caught in the crossfire of emotions she wished to keep hidden. The weight of Serena's cutting words loomed like a guillotine, threatening to peel away the layers protecting her raw heart. Blair's throat tightened, and her eyes flickered with unspoken tears.
"Blair…"
"Why did you do it?" Blair's voice quivered.
"I was drunk," Serena began, but Blair's penetrating gaze made it impossible to hide behind excuses.
"Don't pull the drunk card. Be honest with me. I deserve it."
"Nate was the only guy who treated me like a human being, who saw me as my own person, not just an object on display. All that perfection you're always blabbering about has been nothing but an enemy. I don't want to be perfect, Blair. I don't even believe I am. You think being in my shoes is everything you could dream of, but it comes with its own baggage. I know boys, and they never saw me as anything but a means to an end, an object they can use and discard like a tissue. They never cared about me or who I am or what I want. Not at all. They only see the infamous Serena van der Woodsen, Upper East Side elite, and I'm nothing but a touchdown on the scoreboard. But Nate has always been different; he genuinely cares. Deeply. He's just such a good soul. He held my hair when I was sick, lent me his jacket when I was cold, and made me laugh with his stupid jokes. So, yes, it was nice to feel cared for, just for once. I got confused about my feelings, and I let it go on for too long before I realized how much it would hurt you. I ended it before it escalated because I truly care about you, Blair. I love you. You're my best friend and I need you to trust me."
Blair instinctively stepped back, as if to physically distance herself from the revelation. She couldn't help but question everything that had happened between Serena, Nate, and herself. For so long, she had dismissed it as nothing more than a rush of desire and intense sexual tension. Something that would pass in time. It was as if she had been blind to Serena's true feelings all along.
"Do you still have feelings for him?" Blair had to know.
"Not anymore."
"Oh."
"I'm not proud of what happened between me and Nate," Serena admitted with a heavy sigh. "I screwed up, and I wish I could take it all back. I've tried."
"I don't know if I can get over it. If I can see you the same way. If I can trust you."
"I'm so sorry, Blair. I never meant for any of this to happen." Serena's voice wavered, her eyes welling up with tears.
Serena reached out for Blair's hand, and she took it, their fingers interlocking.
Many bridges had been burned, but together, perhaps they could start constructing new ones—stronger, more resilient, and capable of withstanding any storm.
"I'm sorry, too."
Author's Note:
I get it, I get it – we all need more Chuck, but a chat between Serena and Blair was long overdue. As always, thank you for reading and taking the time to drop a comment. It means the world to me.