Tansy lay on her side curled up in a foetal position with her arms wrapped around her knees. From this position, she had a clear view of the cot beside her bed and the tiny baby that lay asleep there. It had been four days since she had woken up in the hospital wing, four days during which she'd started to realise all that had happened to the wizarding world during the long months she'd been unconscious. Four days during which she'd struggled with the concept of becoming a mother. Four days during which she tried to come to terms with all that had happened to her during her months of captivity. They had told her that the war was over; Voldemort's supporters had been rounded up and were now in captivity waiting trial. They had stressed that Tansy herself didn't have to do anything at the moment; they wanted her to focus on getting better and getting to know her daughter. But, try as she might, Tansy could feel herself breaking apart at the seams, stitch by stitch and she had no idea how much longer she would be able to hold herself together. She was still fighting the war but the opposing force was her own mind now and the secrets entombed there. Now, as she lay in the semi darkened hospital wing, she stared down at her daughter's perfect face and marvelled for the millionth time that she was actually here, against all the odds.

Almost as if she sensed her mother's eyes on her, Hope stirred restlessly and whimpered quietly. Something very close to panic fluttered briefly in her chest and Tansy uncurled herself reluctantly and reached out a hand in the hopes of settling her. The baby squirmed again and her eyelids fluttered open and Tansy sighed quietly, swallowing down the anxiety; she could do this on her own. Madam Pomfrey had taught her how to feed, change and comfort little Hope. Breathing deeply and steadily, she pushed herself into a sitting up position before reaching over and gently lifting the baby up and pressing her against her chest. Hope's mouth opened and closed like a baby bird's and Tansy realised that she was probably hungry. Her nappy also smelled as if it needed changing and Tansy could see a suspicious yellow stain on the legs of her white baby-gro.

Clutching Hope to her chest, Tansy swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up carefully. First, she crossed over to the window and pulled up the blind. Bright white light immediately assaulted her and she flung up her free hand to protect her eyes from the glare. She squinted out at the grounds, smiling slightly as she realised that it was another beautiful August day. The dawn light glinted off the smooth, glassy surface of the lake and the trees in the forbidden forest were still as there wasn't even a candle breath of wind to stir their leaves. Hermione had promised to drop by that morning and Tansy hoped to take baby Hope out for a walk by the lake.

Glancing down into her daughter's tiny face, Tansy saw that the baby was staring up at her with wide, unblinking blue eyes, trying to focus on the face above her. Tansy felt her heart clench slightly as the tuft of auburn hair on the top of her head caught the sun and shone deep gold. Taking a deep breath, she pulled herself together; right now she couldn't wallow. Her daughter needed her to be strong.

Come on then little one.

Tansy couldn't bring herself to speak out loud. The thought was just too terrifying to imagine. This saddened her slightly because she knew that it was important for her baby to hear her mother's voice. Tansy wondered if she'd feel comfortable breaking her silence ever again. Her silence had always been the armoured cloak that she built around herself and right now, she felt as though she needed that cloak more than ever before. Instead, she carried the baby over to the small bathroom in silence where she laid her on the elevated changing mat that Madam Pomfrey had put there for this very purpose. Tansy had no idea where it had come from; Hope was the very first baby ever to be born at Hogwarts.

'Tansy, are you okay in there?' Tansy smiled at the sound of Minerva McGonagall's voice and felt herself exhaling slightly in relief at the thought of the helping hand. Keeping one hand on the wriggling baby, in case she slid herself off the mat, she pushed open the door with the other. She let the other woman give her a one-armed hug, before turning back to the task in hand.

'Urgh…' The older woman's exclamation pretty much summed up exactly what crossed through Tansy's mind as she unpeeled the yellow-stained, damp Babygro from her daughter's legs before removing the loaded nappy.

'I think a bath is in order.'

Tansy looked up and ceased her ineffectual wiping as her adoptive mother pointed her wand at the bath tap. She smiled tentatively at her, hoping to convey her thanks and Minerva McGonagall smiled back, knowing immediately what Tansy was trying to say. Tansy gently eased the baby's arms out of the Babygro and lifted her up, trying and failing to keep the worst of the mess off her own clothes. Although she trusted Professor McGonagall, she couldn't help but place her free hand in the bath to check its temperature before she lowered the baby onto the soft sponge, baby support there. Baby Hope tensed as the warm water flowed over her and she whimpered pathetically. Then, evidently deciding that she liked it, she relaxed into the sponge, her tiny starfish hands ceased their grasping and flopped into the water beside her. Her skinny legs kicked up and water splattered her adopted grandmother's glasses.

There it's not so bad after all is it?

Tansy smiled down at her daughter. Some strange emotion was rising in her chest, overpowering all other thought and feeling. It took her a while to realise what it was.

I love you so much little Hope. More than my own life.

'We leave this evening. Kingsley has arranged an international Portkey for us.' Tansy looked over at her friend and immediately read the anxiety there. She extended a hand in the hopes that she could convey some element of sympathy and calm without speaking. Hermione and Tansy were making the most of the gorgeous summer afternoon by taking a stroll around the lake. Tansy who still wasn't back to her peak strength had reluctantly allowed Hermione to take the baby carrier in case of mishaps. Hermione was telling Tansy about her and Ron's plans to travel to Australia to find Hermione's parents and return their modified memories.

'The Australian Ministry of Magic has already located them. Apparently, they've both had a total career change. She teaches yoga and he's a baker.' Hermione's voice trembled slightly and she bit her lip, clearly fighting back tears. Tansy could only imagine how confused her friend must be feeling; it must be awful not knowing the people who your parents had turned into. Or rather, the people that you had turned them into.

'I don't want them to think that I didn't care and that's why I've left it so long but…' A tear dripped down Hermione's cheek and Tansy took an involuntary step forwards, wanting to pull the other girl into a hug. Then she felt her knees lock into place and her heart skipped as adrenaline flooded her body. Her arms dropped stiffly to her sides and she frowned; she wasn't ready for the physical intimacy.

'I would've looked for them before but…' She trailed off and Tansy knew what the other girl hesitated to say; all of her friends had been busy trying to find out any information they could on the Blood Magic ritual Tansy had performed. Added to that Hermione would've been trying to give Ron and the Weasleys as much support as she possibly could. Tansy felt her brain stutter over this thought and was pleased when Hermione carried on speaking because it drew her attention away again.

'I just don't know if I can cope with anything else... I'm scared that they'll be really angry with me… or…' Hermione placed a shaking hand over her eyes. 'They're going to hate me forever.'

The silence stretched uncomfortably and Tansy wished that she was able to fill it and offer her friend some support. Instead, she pulled Hermione over towards one of the weeping willow trees and ducked under the hanging green fronds, sitting down on the soft turf underneath. Hermione followed without question, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks.

I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be okay. But I honestly don't know if it is. I still feel as if I'm fighting.

Tansy stared fervently into her best friend's brown eyes, hoping to convey the message. Hermione unhitched the baby sling and carefully laid Hope out on the floor in front of them.

'I'm just so worried about everything at the moment Tansy.' Fresh tears welled up in Hermione's eyes. 'Ron's in pieces… all the Weasleys are. I'm hoping that the trials will give them some answers about George and then…'

Tansy's ears cut out and the rest of her friend's sentence was lost as she heard George's name. She was immediately thrown back to that tiny room the single, stained mattress on the floor, the streaked sunlight as it found its way in past the bars on the window... she remembered the desire written on George's face and her incensed rage as he forced himself on her. As she always did when these memories returned, she fought against them, pushing them away into a dark corner of her mind.

There was a small cry, a whimper from the baby on the ground in front of them and she suddenly snapped back into herself. They were sitting on the ground under a weeping willow, staring out through the dangling green tentacle-like branches at the glassy surface of the lake. Tansy took a deep breath, re-cantering herself. She realised that Hermione was still speaking.

'…you are okay. I know everything is confusing at the moment but we're all in this together. It'll get easier, I promise.'

Tansy wondered when Hermione had started comforting her rather than focusing on her own worries. There was another long silence, broken only by the baby's quiet sighs and Hermione's continued sniffs. Tansy extended a hand and rubbed it gently across the crown of Hope's head, her fingers marvelling at the feather lightness of her hair and the softness of her skin. Now, after the mention of George, she felt uncomfortable in Hermione's presence. She wanted this walk to be over as soon as possible so Hermione could leave again.

'Professor McGonagall told me that she's closing the school for two weeks so that all the staff are forced to take a holiday before the coming school year.' Tansy looked up and nodded. 'Even the house-elves are being asked to go away.' Hermione's eyes were still red but she had finally stopped crying and she looked slightly smug at the prospect of the Hogwarts house-elves being forced to take a holiday away from the castle.

'I know everybody at the Burrow would love if you came to stay.' Tansy shook her head numbly; she couldn't bear the thought of staying at the Burrow. 'What about the cottage? I'm sure Fred would…' Tansy blanched and turned away and Hermione broke off; it had become obvious to everyone that there was something wrong between Tansy and Fred. Tansy knew that they attributed it to what Malfoy had done to her at the manor.

I don't know where I'll go. I don't really have a home anymore.

'Miss Granger? Tansy?' Tansy saw the slightly-distorted image of Professor McGonagall through the hanging green fronds and felt a wave of relief. She tried to summon a smile to her face as the branches were pushed aside. 'I received a Floo-call from Mr Ronald Weasley. Apparently the Portkey is leaving earlier than expected so you should probably head back home.'

Hermione jumped to her feet immediately, looking flustered. Tansy got to her feet more slowly and placed a hand on her friend's arm, trying to pacify her. Minerva McGonagall stooped to pick up the baby, her knees creaking alarmingly. She then handed her back to Hermione so that she could lean on her stick as they began the walk back up to the castle.

The trio had almost reached the castle steps before anyone spoke again.

'Tansy, I know that you are finding being around a lot of people difficult at the moment so maybe the Burrow isn't the best place for you to go.' Tansy felt the familiar heat rising in her face and avoided looking at either of the other two women. 'I wanted to invite you to stay with me up in Scotland if you would like?' The Professor phrased it like a question. Tansy didn't even have to think; she nodded.

Tansy jerked awake suddenly, slightly surprised to find that she'd dropped off; she'd only lain down to settle little Hope but she could tell by the golden light filtering in through the window that they had both been asleep for hours. As she glanced down to check that the baby was okay, she became aware of voices coming from Madam Pomfrey's office.

'…if you're sure you can cope on your own, Minerva.' Remus's voice, sounding deeply sceptical.

'Of course; your wife needs you at home. Your son needs you. At any rate, I won't be on my own; Madam Pomfrey will be popping by…' Tansy heard the mumbled agreement from the Matron. '…and the Weasleys, not to mention yourself and Nymphadora.'

'Of course, of course but you said yourself that there's something wrong. She's too calm, too quiet…'

'Too quiet? When has Tansy Laverstock ever been loud might I ask?' The Matron interjected softly. Remus ignored her.

'…there's so much pain in her eyes. She suffering but she's keeping it all bundled up inside again, and we know what happened last time.' There was a pregnant pause. Tansy felt her eyes flick down to the neat scar that ran the length of her exposed forearm and disappeared up under her sleeve and blanched slightly.

'She isn't ready to talk yet, Remus.' The tone of Minerva McGonagall's voice was softer than usual. 'If we tried to force her then I fear that we would do more damage than good.'

'I'm so worried about her, Minerva.' Remus's voice broke.

'We all are, Remus, but the only thing we can do it to let her know that we are all here behind her and hope that she lets us in eventually.'

Tansy bit her lip so hard that she tasted the metallic rusty flavour of blood on the tip of her tongue. For the first time since the day she'd woken up in the hospital wing, she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think. Reviews always inspire me to start on the next chapter.