Warning - more of the same.

Minerva McGonagall's POV

Minerva dropped her face into her hands and allowed herself, just for one second, to show weakness; she felt utterly drained and exhausted. It wasn't just the lack of sleep from the new born baby, but also her constant worry about Tansy. She found herself checking on the girl every ten minutes, just to make sure she hadn't hurt herself in any way. Even at night, when the baby was asleep, she wasn't sleeping properly; every twenty minutes or so she would jerk awake, sure that something terrible had happened.

'Here, Minerva, drink this.' Remus pushed a cup into her hand and Minerva smelt the tang of Fire-whisky and shook her head, even as every fibre of her mind reached out to the contents of the cup.

'I can't drink, Remus; I have to look after Tansy and the baby.'

'One won't hurt.' Remus pressed more firmly and Minerva felt her resolve wavering. She took a shaky sip, feeling the burn as it travelled down her throat and into her stomach. Of course, the analytical part of her mind was telling her how bad it was that she was turning to alcohol to help her to cope with the stress in her life.

'How are you coping?' Remus always asked the hard questions.

'I…' For half a heartbeat, Minerva tried to put on a brave face but then she gave up and told the truth. 'I honestly don't know Remus, I'm so tired…' Her voice cracked and she trailed off before starting again with new vigour. 'Tansy's slightly better than she was. Physically her body is healing itself but mentally…' She trailed off and took another long sip of her drink. 'There's so much fear and pain in her eyes, Remus. I'm terrified all the time that she will try to hurt herself. We're only guessing what V-Voldermort and the Death Eaters put her through…'

'Well she was clearly tortured and sexually assaulted on more than one occasion,' Remus said bluntly, draining his glass and pouring himself another. 'She was ready to sacrifice herself for us. She tried to kill herself, Minerva. It was that bad that she couldn't see any other way out.' Minerva stifled a small sob.

'She sacrificed herself to keep her friends alive. I just don't think that she expected to be alive at the end of it. Perhaps she didn't even want to be alive at the end of it… It must seem so confusing, Remus; she's alive but she's a mother and she has a baby by that…' She couldn't bring herself to call him by any humane term. '…thing, so how is she supposed to move on and live a proper life? She will always look into Hope's face and see her abuser.'

'Do we know for sure that the baby is Malfoy's?' Remus asked, grimacing into his Fire-whisky.

'None of the Death Eaters awaiting trial have told us anything about what went on at Malfoy Manor. Draco Malfoy informed Kingsley that his father had sexually assaulted Tansy on numerous occasions but he didn't know if anyone else had too. He was at Hogwarts for most of the time she was held captive in the manor.' Minerva shuddered and then downed the rest of the contents of her glass. 'Kingsley thinks he's hiding something but he's not sure what.'

'So why did he sign the release papers?' Remus's mouth pulled down; Draco Malfoy had been released from custody a mere week after the battle of Hogwarts. Remus was clearly under the impression that there had been an oversight of some sort.

'It's clear that Draco Malfoy wasn't given a lot of choice, Remus. His parents were big supporters of V-Voldemort and I suppose his involvement became the collateral damage of that. He was forced to help the Death Eaters. Voldemort would've killed him if he'd refused. I know he was tortured on more than one occasion.' Minerva wasn't quite sure why she was standing up for Draco Malfoy but the words came nonetheless. In the past eight months or so, in fact, ever since he'd delivered Tansy's message to her, she'd started feeling a great deal of pity for the young wizard who'd been led so far astray from such a young age.

'He said that he tried to help Tansy and the other prisoners when he was home during the school holidays. Bellatrix Lestrange caught him sneaking food into Tansy's cell and cast the Cruciatus curse on him.' She shuddered again and looked down into her empty glass, wishing it were full. 'We mustn't forget that there are all sorts of victims, Remus. The boy's heart found the right path eventually.'

'I suppose that he'll be returning to Hogwarts next week then? Or has Shacklebolt…?'

The door clicked and then creaked open and both Minerva and Remus looked up to see Tansy standing in the doorway. Minerva was suddenly struck by how young and vulnerable the girl looked; the old hoodie she wore did nothing to disguise how much weight she had lost and her eyes were huge and scared in her pinched face. They could see that she was trembling so much that she visibly shook and she held her arm awkwardly behind her back. She looked like she was on the verge of falling apart at the seams and horrible images immediately flocked to the forefront of Minerva's mind. She recalled Severus Snape kneeling over the unconscious girl in the darkness of the forbidden forest with his wand pointed to her chest as he tried to restart her heart. She remembered the deep self-inflicted wounds on the girl's forearms.

'Tansy, what's wrong?' They were both out of their chairs in an instant. Minerva pulled the girl towards the sofa and pushed her into a sitting position. Remus, clearly thinking along the same lines, gently extended Tansy's arm towards him and rolled back the sleeve. They both exhaled with relief and their eyes met across the top of the young witch's head. Remus, clearly not satisfied reached for the other arm and checked that one too. Only then did he visibly relax. Minerva looked down at Tansy's hands and saw that she was holding something tightly in her clenched fist.

'Tansy, what are you holding?' Remus asked. The girl looked at him blankly and then slowly opened her fist to reveal a crumpled piece of parchment. Still with a hand on her arm, Remus took it from her and spread it out so that both he and Minerva could see it. Minerva stared down at the parchment, unable at first to understand the scrawled, unpunctuated paragraph. Then understanding dawned and she gasped.

I feel as though I'm crossing a bridge of spun glass over a bottomless chasm one false step and the glass will shatter and I will fall I feel as if I'm drowning in darkness I was ready for the end I wanted to die I cast the blood magic ritual sacrificed my own life while carrying another and I betrayed Hope I was ready to die given a choice I came back so she could live I woke up she is alive but now I don't know how to live again I don't know if I want to live

The war is over but I feel as though I'm still fighting

Minerva blanched as she finished reading her daughter's plea for help.

'It's okay Tansy, we're here sweetheart.' Remus immediately wrapped his arms around the shaking girl. It only took a few seconds before she melted into his embrace and started to sob as if her heart was breaking. 'You aren't fighting this alone. We will both help you to get through this.'

Minerva McGonagall slid off the sofa and dropped to her knees, ignoring the creak and protest of her knee joints as she did so. She took the young witch's shaking hands in her own and looked her straight in the eyes.

'Tansy, thank you for trusting us. I'm proud of you for asking for our help.' She paused; Tansy was avoiding her eyes but Minerva knew that her words had hit home. 'Do you remember the start of fifth year when you tried to take your own life?' Minerva tried to stop her face from betraying the pain of the memory. 'Do you remember, you spoke to me in the hospital wing after Professor Snape had saved you?' Tansy looked up suddenly, her face a mask of tears. She stared at her adoptive mother for several long seconds and then nodded, the confusion evident on her face.

'Do you remember that it helped? Talking about what had happened to you helped you to accept it and move on. Together we beat the darkness and the fog and you started to get better.' Minerva's eyes didn't leave Tansy's stricken face but she felt Remus tense beside her, almost as if he was holding his breath. There was a long silence, broken only by Tansy's hitched breathing as she struggled against the sobs that still racked through her body.

'I can't fight it on my own.' The words were jerky and barely audible and both Minerva and Remus had to lean in to hear them, but they were there. 'I'm not strong enough. It hurts too much. I just want it to end.' Minerva suddenly found herself blinking back tears of joy at the sound of Tansy's voice; the voice she had resigned herself never to hear again. She blinked rapidly to disperse the moisture that had collected in her eyes.

'Tansy, you don't have to fight it on your own any longer. We're here with you.' Remus looked at Minerva and she caught the gleam of hope in his eyes.

'Tansy, why do you think that you betrayed Hope?' Minerva looked down at the scrawled letters on the parchment envelope and winced. 'You were forced to…'

'Because I did betray her!' Tansy was suddenly on her feet, her hands grasping wildly at her face and hair in her distress. 'I knew that I was pregnant! I knew that we would both die if I cast the blood magic ritual. But I didn't care! I wanted to die! I wanted it to end! I still want to die!' Remus had jumped to his feet too when Tansy had stood up and now, he gently but firmly removed her hands from her face and restrained them so she wouldn't do herself any damage in her distress. Minerva saw the red streak of a scratch down the girl's face and felt her heart sink. Tansy was shaking so hard that it was a miracle she hadn't fallen over yet.

Still restraining Tansy's arms to prevent her from hurting herself, Remus pushed her gently back down onto the sofa and knelt down in front of her. Minerva got up as quickly as her old joints would allow and took the seat next to her. The fact that they had progressed so far in such a short amount of time astounded her; normally it took hours of coaxing and questioning to get Tansy to open up about anything.

'Tell us about the blood magic ritual Tansy.' Still sobbing uncontrollably, Tansy stared between Remus and Minerva for several long seconds. Then, slowly at first and then faster and faster because the words seemed to have a mind of their own, she started to speak. She told them about finding Merlin's cave in the secluded Welsh valley and what she'd learned from the book of blood magic – the sacrifice she knew that she would have to make if she wanted to help her friends in the coming war. Then she jumped ahead and, tears still pouring down her cheeks, told them how Voldemort had found out about the prophecy and then tortured her until she'd promised to cast the blood magic ritual for his benefit. How he'd invaded her mind with Legilimency to ensure she wasn't lying. Tansy's voice stuttered to a halt and she appeared, if possible, to go even whiter.

'Go on sweetheart; you're doing so well.' Remus encouraged. Minerva conjured the girl a blanket because she was still trembling violently and wrapped it around her shoulders. Tansy seemed to draw strength from Minerva's hand on her shoulder and leaned in against her.

'There was nothing left to hide.' Tansy's voice was almost inaudible. 'I didn't pretend to agree to help him. I… I was going to cast the blood magic ritual for him. I knew it was the right thing to do.'

'But you didn't, Tansy. You cast it for us, you cast it to protect your friends.' Minerva interjected quietly.

'That night on the castle lawn, I'd forgotten everything. I couldn't recognise anybody… all that mattered was that I could cast the spell to help Voldemort win the war. And then I would be free and the pain would stop.' Tansy jerked her arm free from Remus and used it to slap the side of her head suddenly.

'Tansy, you don't need to do that!' Remus regained control of Tansy's arms and gently folded them into her lap once more. 'You'd been tortured almost to the point of insanity love. It's no wonder you didn't recognise any of us.'

'My mind wasn't my own! I let him take it, like he'd taken everything else! I didn't even know my own name.' Tansy shuddered. 'They called me Cassiopeia. That's who I thought I was!'

'Tansy, you weren't in your right mind; you'd been tortured so badly that it's a miracle you had any sort of coherent thought left.' Minerva said softly.

'I came so close…' Tansy shuddered horribly and looked pleadingly between Minerva and Remus, almost as if she was expecting a negative response.

'But then you saw your friends?' Minerva said, phrasing it like a question. She remembered the bright, bittersweet smile that had lit up her daughter's face as she saw Harry, Ron and Hermione running across the castle lawn towards her.

'I saw them and I remembered who I was. I knew what I had to do to help them but... but I wasn't afraid, Professor. I just wanted it all to be over. I…' Tansy glanced down at her swollen stomach and her eyes flashed suddenly and her voice rose. 'I didn't care enough about Hope to stop! I'd promised to protect her but I tried to hurt her instead!'

'Tansy, you can't blame yourself. You were under unimaginable…' Remus began but Tansy was talking once more. She told them about the strange, slightly surreal conversation with Sirius in the Transfiguration classroom and the choice she'd been given.

'But I didn't want to live anymore.' Tansy looked at them beseechingly. 'I just wanted to give Hope a chance. I thought she would live but I would die and I was okay with that. She deserves to have chance at life...'

'Tansy, you deserve to have a chance at life too.' Remus interrupted softly, but Tansy continued speaking.

'…and now she's here and she's okay and I'm here too and… and I don't think I can fight anymore. Life is too hard…' Tansy looked between them, appearing to take strength from them. Minerva saw a resolve in her eyes that hadn't been there before, almost as if the girl had decided to tell them the whole truth. 'But if the darkness and the fog win then I'm scared I'll leave Hope without a mother. But I don't know what I'm doing as a mother anyway so she might be better off…'

'Tansy, stop right there.' Minerva said, her voice stern and clipped. 'There is no way on this earth that your baby will be better off without you.'

'And nobody knows what they're doing when they have their first baby,' Remus put in. He chuckled dryly. 'Merlin, the amount of times both Dora and I have been near to tears when Teddy is having a crying fit at three o'clock in the morning and we've no idea what the matter is and we're just too exhausted to brainstorm any more.'

'We are all going to help you, Tansy. None of us will be perfect at the start but we'll do the best job we can.' Minerva said resolutely. Tansy looked between them and her face closed and Minerva knew instinctively that this was the end of their conversation; they would get no more from the girl tonight. Although she'd already told Tansy how proud she was of her, Minerva knew that she had to say it again.

'Tansy, you've done brilliantly tonight. Thank you for trusting us. We're both very proud of you.'

Remus released Tansy's hands and stood up.

'I'm going to make us all a cup of hot chocolate and then you're going to take your sleeping potion, Tansy. No arguments.'

They were both quite surprised by the lack of resistance from the young witch on the sofa between them; she drank her hot chocolate, which Minerva knew was secretly laced with a calming draft, and then, under the watchful gaze of the two adults, she took a full dose of the sleeping potion. Two minutes later, her head nodded forwards and Remus gently pushed her into a sleeping position and covered her with several layers of blankets. Minerva bent to kiss her daughter's forehead and then, with creaking knees she got to her feet intending to go upstairs to check on the baby. Her eyes met Remus's over the top of the sleeping girl and she smiled tightly.

'We got there eventually,' she said, sighing quietly.

'We got there.' He repeated, returning her tight smile.

So thank you for my reviews, particularly to zikashigaku who inspired me to write this chapter!