Tansy pushed herself up the bed, glancing at the luminous alarm clock on the bedside table. She'd only been asleep for two hours and she was glad to find that she felt well rested. It gave her hope that her magic really was returning and she'd be back to normal soon. Looking out of the window, she saw that the grey mist that had shrouded the castle all morning had finally lifted and weak sunlight now glinted off the frozen lake and the snowy grounds. Everything looked so beautiful and peaceful that she suddenly felt calmer and more centred than she had in months. She pushed her legs out of bed and stood up, padding barefoot over the soft carpet to the bedroom door, which was partially ajar. She could hear her friends talking in low voices in the sitting room beyond and their words became clearer as she approached the door.

'…Snape's right about one thing though.' Harry's voice. 'They can't ask Tansy to do that; she'd lose it…' He trailed off. Tansy felt the familiar prickle as her anxiety returned, cutting through her calm, – what was he talking about? What were they going to ask her to do?

'Well yes,' Hermione replied, 'I don't think she'd cope with it to be honest. You saw how she was earlier when we just mentioned his name. I still can't believe it's even being discussed. It seems so… so immoral.' Hermione's voice dropped on the last word and Tansy strained to hear her. 'It feels like something the Death Eaters would do; forcing their way into someone's mind. It makes me feel sick.'

'They've taken memories as evidence before,' Harry said. 'Remember after fifth year when they wanted to convict Umbridge? McGonagall and Dumbledore knew that Tansy would never be able to verbally accuse her of the torture so they took a memory. It was enough to put Umbridge in Azkaban.' Tansy imagined Hermione nodding her head in reply. She realised that she was holding on to the door frame, her hands clenched so tightly that her fingers were beginning to ache from reduced blood flow. Her knees had started to tremble.

'Yes but this is different, Harry. Voluntarily giving a memory is one thing but being forced to give it up through Legilimency is another thing entirely and this is a memory that Tansy has been fighting to repress for… for… since it happened.' Tansy willed herself to remain upright even as her head started to spin. A splinter of wood had lodged itself into her palm and the pain of it helped her to focus.

'She couldn't stand being in the same room as Fred because he reminds her so much of George and earlier she could barely say George's name without, as Snape said, losing her sanity. Can you imagine what will happen if she's forced to go back there? It won't be easy. No wonder Snape thinks he would be violating her mind.' Hermione's words were reverberating around Tansy's skull. Her thoughts were becoming blurry as she fought the rising fog. She counted to ten inside her head, focusing on breathing slowly in and out.

'We all want to prove George innocent but…' Frightened and confused, Tansy realised that the shakes that had started in her knees were now affecting her whole body. She didn't understand what they were talking about. What was George guilty of? Why did Snape think he would be violating her mind? What were they going to do to her? Tansy shuddered at the idea.

'Do you think Gawain suggested it or McGonagall?' Harry asked.

'I know it's hard to believe but I think it was McGonagall. Snape was talking to her as he was leaving the office, not to Gawain. He was so angry.' Hermione said, her voice hard; she sounded as if she was pretty angry at the headmistress too.

'McGonagall would never have suggested that Snape uses Legilimency on Tansy to find the memories. Never in a million years.' Harry countered.

'I know it's hard to believe but I think she did,' Hermione said, in a small voice.

Tansy had heard enough; locking her knees in place, she pushed open the door. Harry and Hermione's shocked faces looked over at her. They were now sitting opposite each other in across the small table in the kitchenette, an array of sandwiches and cake spread out in front of them that neither of them appeared to be eating. There was no sign of Ron and Ginny. Tansy remembered that they had been visiting Fred in St Mungo's. She'd been torn between wanting to go with them and terrified at the idea of seeing him again.

'Tansy, we… we, er, didn't…' Harry began.

Without making eye contact with him, Tansy crossed over to the bassinet by the window and checked to make sure that Hope was asleep inside it. She glanced out at the snowy grounds, trying to find her earlier sense of peace but finding instead a twisted mess of anxiety and fear. She walked over to the sofa and sat down before her trembling knees caused her to fall.

'Tansy, we were…' Hermione began, sounding so young and unsure of herself that Tansy looked up. 'We were just talking about…'

'Tell me what's going on.' Tansy interrupted, her voice barely above a whisper. She looked down at her hands again, mentally stopping herself from twisting her hands together the way she wanted to, because when she bent her fingers backwards the pain helped to keep the rising fog at bay. 'Why do you need to prove George innocent? Innocent of what? Why does Professor Snape need to use Legilimency on me? Why do they need… need to get inside my head?' She shuddered and looked up in time to see Harry and Hermione exchanging pointed looks. The lines of their silent communication were obvious.

'We…' Hermione began, getting up and standing awkwardly in front of Tansy.

'Tell me the truth.' Tansy shook her head suddenly, trying to dislodge the stupor that was clouding her thoughts. Once again, she saw her friends exchanging concerned looks.

'Tansy, I'm not sure…' Hermione tried again.

'That I'm up for it? Please Hermione, I have to know.' Tansy interrupted. She resisted the urge to shake her head again, trying to appear as sane as possible. She dug her thumbnail into the back of her other hand and the sharp sting of pain helped her to focus. 'It's… it's worse not knowing.' She hoped that what she was saying was true.

'Are you sure that you want to know Tansy?' Harry asked.

'That bad eh?' Tansy asked, trying to make her voice sound jokey but hearing it crack in two instead.

Harry stood up, wiped his hands on a napkin, crossed over to her and sat beside her. Hermione sank down onto the carpet in front of them and then both of them took one of her hands each. Tansy bit her lip deliberately, the rust and salt taste of the blood miraculously clearing her mind.

'Tansy, this might be hard to hear.' Harry said, in a low voice. His hand tightened around hers. Then, slowly and clearly he explained to her about how Bellatrix Lestrange denied placing the Imperius curse on George, had denied compelling him to rape Tansy. George's name could not be cleared because they could not prove without doubt that he had been Imperiused. Then Hermione talked of the conversation they had overheard outside the headmistress's office that morning.

'I need to remember… I need to clear his name…' Tansy whispered, her voice shaking. She suddenly understood clearly what she needed to do. Fear and adrenaline thrilled through her body at the prospect. 'I…' Her voice failed her; she had wanted to tell them that she would try, that she would try to remember, for George, but she couldn't find the words.

Tansy closed her eyes. Grasping her friends' hands for support, she tried to think back to what had happened in the bare little room at the top of Malfoy Manor - the room with the stained mattress and the barred window. She shuddered as she remembered what Malfoy had done to her in that room and the never ending pain from Bellatrix's wand. Then, steeling herself for the onslaught of fog, she tried to think back to that day. Her searching mind found only an impenetrable barrier; the memories were just out of reach. It was as though that part of her mind was enveloped in a thick layer of stretchy black plastic, almost like rubber. She could probe it all she liked and it would stretch to accommodate her grasping thoughts but when she tried to force her way through it, pain shot through her body. Tansy doubled over gasping, snatching her hands away from her friends and wrapping them around herself. Nausea stirred in the pit of her stomach.

Harry was speaking again and she felt him taking both of her hands in his, but Tansy couldn't hear him; her ears had tuned out and fog was filling her mind at an alarming rate. Once again, she tried to pierce the thick rubbery seal that hid that part of her mind from view. Something twisted excruciatingly inside her head, pushing her grasping thoughts away. The black rubbery plastic inside her mind seemed to swell and pulsate like a living, sentient being. She couldn't remember. She couldn't think. The black thing inside her head expanded, pushing the rest of her mind to one side. There was nothing but darkness, darkness and fog. The pressure in her head was becoming unbearable. She was sure her eyes were going to burst right out of her skull. She yanked her hands free from their restraints, and pressed them against her face, holding her eyes in place. Vomit rose in her throat.

Tansy had no idea how long she sat there, engulfed and totally alone in the darkness but her ears crackled back into being and she became aware that someone was saying her name over and over again with other phrases thrown in here and there. She tried to focus on the words.

'Tansy… Tansy… it's okay Tansy… breathe Tansy… fight the fog… it's okay… I'm here... Hermione's here…'

'What have we done? I knew it was a bad idea!' Hermione's frantic voice.

'We had to tell her.' Harry sounded doubtful. Tansy blinked and tried to get him into focus.

'Harry, she's not responding! I think… I think we should get Professor McGonagall. She'll know what to do.'

Tansy tried to speak, but she couldn't get the words out. She focused instead on breathing, breathing and not vomiting. It seemed to take all of her attention for a very long time.

The next thing she became aware of was her adoptive mother's hands clutching her own, her face inches from Tansy's.

'Tansy? It's okay.' Tansy looked at Minerva's concerned face and then over at her two friends; they had retreated back to the kitchenette and they both looked horrified.

'What happened?' Minerva turned to Harry and Hermione, her voice clipped. However, it was Tansy who replied.

'I… I can't remember back. My… I… head won't let me… can't find it… George…' The name sent the familiar jolt of pain through her chest and she suddenly lost her battle against the vomit. She staggered to her feet, swaying and nearly losing her balance, and just made it to the kitchen sink in time to throw up into it. Then she turned to Harry and Hermione, suddenly distressed. 'I'm sorry… I can't remember… I want to help him… I want to help!'

'It's okay, Tan.' Harry murmured, his eyes on Minerva. He looked scared.

'I tried! I promise I tried!' Neither Harry nor Hermione were looking at her; they clearly didn't believe that she had tried her best.

Minerva had crossed the room with Tansy and she slipped a hand around Tansy's back, helping her into a chair.

'Hush Tansy, it's okay. Calm down.' Her voice was soothing but it was obvious that she wasn't really focused on her daughter. As soon as Tansy was settled in a chair, she turned back to Harry and Hermione.

'What is she talking about Mr Potter, Miss Granger?' Minerva's voice was like a mousetrap; snappy and irate.

'He was cursed… he was cursed… I… I... I killed him. It happened. I know it happened but I can't find the… it hurts too much.' Tansy doubled over again, massaging her head, fighting the expanding darkness that threatened to engulf her again.

'What did you tell her?' Minerva's voice had risen, not quite to a shout, but certainly louder than it had been before. Somewhere in the midst of her swirling thoughts, Tansy heard Harry and Hermione's fevered explanations, then Minerva's voice snapping again.

'Leave now, get out!' Tansy heard the protests that were drowned out by Minerva's next admonishment; 'haven't you two done enough.'

There was the sound of muffled footsteps and then the door snapped shut.

'Tansy, it's okay. Try to calm down now. Deep breaths.'

'I can't go back…' Tansy tried to explain. It seemed important to explain.

'I know. It's okay. I understand.' Minerva's voice was gentler again now, back to the usual tone she used with Tansy when the girl was in the grips of a fog attack.

'Fog…'

'It's okay, Tansy. I'm here with you. The fog will clear.' Tansy felt Minerva's hand rubbing small circles on her back. It grounded her, bringing her back to the present. She heard a tiny sigh from the bassinet over by the window and that helped too.

After some minutes, Minerva's statement was proved correct – the fog cushioning Tansy's mind started to clear and Tansy realised that they were alone; Harry and Hermione had gone. She looked into her adoptive mother's eyes. She suddenly felt afraid, sure that she would see reproach in her adoptive mother's eyes for her failure. Instead, Minerva's eyes were gentle.

'I can't find it. I can't find the memory. It hurts too much.' Tansy said, her voice small but steady at last. 'Why can't I remember?' Minerva shut her eyes and a look of pain flashed across her face.

'It's okay Tansy, you don't have to remember. I should never have suggested it. I'm sorry. It was… it was foolish but I thought it might help…'

'Why can't I find it?' Tansy repeated.

'I… I…' Minerva looked at Tansy, clearly wondering how much she should say.

'Tell me the truth.' The words rang hollowly across the small room.

'I'm not an expert, Tansy but I think the reason you are struggling to remember is that you have spent the last year repressing those memories.' Minerva sighed heavily. Tansy nodded, suddenly remembering back to another truth she had been told by Hermione.

'Is… is this why you asked Professor Snape to use Legilimancy? Because I can't find the memories? Because I need to find them to help George?' Tansy inhaled sharply at the familiar, needle sharp pain of the name.

Minerva McGonagall's face went white.

Thanks for my reviews! She will definitely get those memories back one way or another but it's going to be hard.