Tansy put down her copy of A Guide To Advanced Transfiguration that she'd been trying and failing to read and stood up abruptly, taking her Minerva by surprise. She crossed over to the bassinet under the window and looked down to check that Hope was still fast asleep; the baby's head was turned towards her and Tansy could see her eyes fluttering behind the thin membrane of her eyelids. The one small fist that protruded from the blanket was firmly wrapped round a rubber teething ring. She looked so peaceful that Tansy felt her anxieties calming slightly and she reached down and gently stroked her daughter's face with her forefinger; the amount of love she felt for this tiny person always overwhelmed her.

'Is everything okay Tansy?' Minerva had risen too and she now came to stand behind Tansy, touching the girl's shoulder gently, as if to remind Tansy that she was there. She placed a hand on the wicker bassinet, measuring the distance between its edge and the place where Tansy's hand lay on the crown of Hope's head and then said. 'I think we're going to have to invest in another crib soon. She's getting a bit big for this one.' Tansy felt her adoptive mother's hand stroking her back gently. She turned away from the baby and looked up at Minerva.

'Are you okay, Tansy?' Minerva asked again, her voice gentle. Tansy looked at her levelly, her hand still cupping her daughter's head because the baby's soft, downy hair grounded her and helped her to focus. She nodded slowly.

'Will you…? Tansy stuttered slightly, then tried again. 'Will you watch Hope for me please?'

She was pleased that the question came out coherently the second time. She looked back down at the baby, feeling slightly guilty but then the snow-covered grounds outside caught her attention again; the surface of the lake shone in the thin winter sunlight and the snow lay thickly across the lawns, practically untouched except for the occasional set of footprints. It looked magical and ethereal and she couldn't resist.

Surprise flooded across Minerva's face, then her expression changed to one of concern.

'Of course I will Tansy. Where are you going? Is everything okay?'

'I want to go for a walk.' Tansy said truthfully. She glanced out of the window again and shivered in anticipation, mentally reminding herself to wrap up warm because the temperature outside was well below freezing.

'Are you sure you want to go alone? I could come too?' Tansy quickly shook her head, then immediately felt guilty at the look of disappointment that crossed her adoptive mother's face.

'I… I…' Tansy shook herself mentally. 'I need to think.' The words were hushed but Minerva understood and she nodded.

'You have about an hour and a half before it gets dark.' Tansy nodded to show that she had taken in the information and tried to smile at Minerva.

It felt strange to be out on her own and Tansy hurried through the empty castle corridors, almost running in her haste to get outside before she was noticed. There were hardly any students staying at Hogwarts that Christmas but most of the Professors were still around. She wondered what they would do if they saw her alone; most likely they would stop her and ask her if she was okay. They might even summon the headmistress. She was relieved when she made it to the front doors without encountering any of the corridor patrol. She walked slowly down the icy steps and then immediately set off across the castle lawn towards the lake, cutting a clean, new path through the knee-deep snow, shivering slightly as it came over the top of her boots and stuck to her leggings.

She had told Minerva the truth; she was out here alone because she needed time and space to think about what she had learned: The memories they needed were locked somewhere deep down inside her and if she wanted to help the Weasleys then she needed to find them. Tansy shuddered slightly at the thought and resisted the urge to look again herself; she didn't want another fog attack, not now when she was alone out here. She felt herself starting to shiver more violently as she contemplated the alternative because the idea of having someone in her mind again was terrifying. Tansy remembered Voldemort's skull-like face hovering above her, the elder wand outstretched as he sifted through her mind, trying to find the slightest whisper of doubt that she would help him in the coming battle. She remembered him feeling in the deepest, remotest corners of her mind, unearthing secrets and long repressed memories…

'Tansy?' Deep in thought Tansy jumped horribly and swung round too fast; her foot slipped on an iced-up puddle and she staggered and sat down hard in a snow drift. The cold shocked her out of the memory and she was surprised to find herself back in the castle grounds. It was Hermione; the other girl was bundled up in a coat and hat and she had a knitted scarf pulled high up her face that did not quite disguise the fact that she had been crying.

'Are you okay? Here…' Hermione extended a hand to pull Tansy to her feet. 'Why are you out here by yourself? Is everything okay?' Tansy briefly wondered how many times a day she would be asked this question or a variation of it. She nodded, then, realising that Hermione was looking at her worriedly, she opened her mouth.

'I'm fine,' Tansy let her hand linger in the other girl's mittened one. 'I… I needed to think and…' She trailed off. 'Are you okay, Hermione? You've… you've been crying.'

'I…' Hermione's brown eyes filled with tears and she sniffed impatiently and used her free arm to blot at the tears. 'I'm so sorry about what happened earlier, Tan. I feel awful about it.'

'It's okay. I…' Tansy shook her head slowly, searching for the right words. 'I needed to know.'

'I know but…' Hermione shrugged and used her coat sleeve to dab at her face again. '…I'm sorry all the same. I mean, you only woke up yesterday; we should've waited…'

'I needed to know,' Tansy repeated. Then she hesitated and changed the subject. 'Why aren't you at the Ministry, Hermione?' All four of the quartet had been invited to attend the New Year's Eve celebrations at the Ministry that evening – it was supposed to be the event of the year and the Prophet had been talking about it for days, dropping unsubtle hints about the 'big surprise' that was happening during the evening, which everyone already knew was a statue unveiling. Harry had seen a drawing of the statue in Kingsley's office and he had mentioned the details to Tansy that morning, that and the fact that neither of them would be able to walk into the ministry without seeing a gigantic version of themselves in bronze.

'We… Harry and I argued after you… after Professor McGonagall told us to leave. Then I argued with Ron too – a bad one. He…' Hermione sniffed. 'I wasn't really in the mood to go to a party. It's just…' Hermione dabbed at her eyes again. '…it's been a while since I've argued like that with Ron. I mean it used to happen all the time.' Tansy smiled as she remembered their volatile relationship and nodded. 'He told me he needed a break and stormed out… I…' Hermione dissolved into full blown tears again. 'How do normal couples resolve their arguments?' She sobbed. 'And what does he mean by a break? Does this mean we've split up?'

Tansy shrugged and dug around in her pocket for a hankie. She was unsuccessful but she did find a cleanish baby muslin, which she gave to Hermione.

'I… I never argued much with Fred.' She said, when she realised that Hermione was looking at her expectantly. 'I guess I just… I just…' She struggled for the right words. 'I've always been good at just keeping quiet, even if things annoy me. The biggest argument we ever had was when he found out we were going to hunt for the Horcruxes.'

'How did you resolve that?' Hermione asked indistinctly, burying her face in the muslin.

Tansy thought back.

'We… we went to the cottage and we... we talked it through and then we…' She caught herself. Blushing heatedly, she turned away.

'What Tansy?' Hermione had resurfaced from the muslin and was looking keenly at her, albeit with teary eyes.

'Well, the talk kind of turned into kissing and then…' Tansy felt sure that her face was now hot enough to light a bonfire.

'Did you have sex?' Hermione asked briskly, smiling a watery smile when she saw Tansy nodding.

'I… we only did it a few times before we had to leave.' Tansy whispered, suddenly feeling sad that the relationship was over and that they were both so broken now and so beyond repair that it would never be rekindled.

'It's okay, Tan.' Hermione had seen Tansy's face falling.

'I miss him.' Tansy admitted. 'I miss what we had… it seems like such a long time ago now.'

'I know,' Hermione patted her arm and sniffed.

'I'm sure Ron will be okay later,' Tansy said softly, 'he's probably had a couple of fire-whiskies already and has already calmed down. He'll probably come into your room tonight when they get back.' She was pleased when Hermione smiled shakily and slid an arm round her back.

'I've missed you so much Tan.' Hermione sniffed hugely.

'I've missed you too.' Tansy said, wondering how she had managed three months of almost total isolation without going mad.

As the two girls walked back up the rapidly darkening castle drive towards the lighted castle, they came face to face with Remus who was walking in the opposite direction. He smiled at them and then frowned slightly as he came closer and saw Hermione's red eyes.

Is everything okay Hermione? Why aren't you at the Ministry?' He reached out to place a hand on Hermione's shoulder. Then he turned to Tansy. 'Are you okay sweetheart?' Tansy nodded in reply.

'I didn't go Remus. I didn't feel like it.' Hermione said, wiping her eyes. She glanced at Tansy, who flushed.

'Why are you upset?' Remus asked bluntly. Tansy knew that he wasn't being nosy – this was simply Remus's way of dealing with things; he would ask the hard questions so that, once he had all of the information, he could start to solve the problem and help. It was a trait that she simultaneously admired and hated about him.

'It's really nothing, Remus,' Hermione said, sniffing hugely, 'I argued with Ron and Harry took his side. It's nothing important.'

Remus looked sceptical but didn't question her further. He turned to Tansy.

'How are you today, Tansy? I meant to pop in to see you after my shift but…' He hesitated, clearly toying with the idea of saying something else, then he changed the subject. 'Anyway, something happened and I was held up. I promised Dora that I would be home on time tonight.'

Tansy looked at him, realising that he was waiting for a verbal response and sighed inwardly; even with friends she still found silence the easiest option.

'I'm…' She coughed, feeling pressured. '…I'm okay.' She knew that she sounded unsure and she knew that Remus could hear it too: What she really wanted was to talk to him about what had happened that day but that sort of conversation would take a long time and she didn't want to hold him up tonight. Remus looked at her carefully, appearing to read her thoughts.

'Are you sure, love?' When she nodded, he turned back to Hermione.

'Well, Happy New Year to you both.' Remus gave Hermione a quick hug and then turned back to Tansy. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' He squeezed her gently. 'I'd better dash now.' He turned on his heal and started striding down the drive, his cloak billowing out behind him.

Tansy started walking towards the castle, dithered and then swung round too fast. She lost her balance and nearly fell again, staggering and grasping hold of Hermione to keep herself upright.

'Remus!' He turned back immediately, looking both surprised and alarmed by her tone.

'Tansy?' Swiftly he walked back to them. 'What is it?'

Now that he had come back, Tansy felt tongue tied and stupid and wished that she'd just let him go; she was exhausted and she didn't have the energy for another gruelling discussion right now.

'I…'

'What is it, Tansy?' He asked again, his voice gentle.

'Can I come and see you tomorrow?' She finally asked. 'I… I want to talk to you.' She trailed off.

'Of course, Tansy, any time.' He looked at her keenly and then smiled at her.

Tansy and Hermione walked in silence up to the headmistress's tower and parted company with a quick hug by the stone gargoyle. Tansy stepped through into the space beyond and was immediately a little surprised to see her adoptive mother standing on the carpeted landing above, staring down at her. She looked as though she'd been there for quite a while.

'There you are. I was getting worried.' Minerva's tone conveyed just how relieved she was to see Tansy.

'I met Hermione.' Tansy explained, suddenly feeling weak and exhausted. She started climbing slowly up towards the other woman although the stairs felt endless. Finally, she got to the top and reached out tentatively to give Minerva a hug. 'I'm okay, you don't have to worry about me. I'm a big girl now…' She hesitated, not quite sure where the next word came from. Then she said it. '…mum.' A flush appeared on her face and she suddenly dropped her gaze to the carpet.

'Tansy…' Tansy looked up to see Minerva beaming at her. 'I will always worry about you. I love you.' Tansy stared at her for a few seconds, feeling tongue tied, but the words she wanted to say were too important to keep silent and, once she started, they came easily.

'I love you too.'

Tansy was pleased to see that Hope was awake – Minerva had propped her up with pillows to try and encourage her to support her own head but she was listing stubbornly to one side and relying solely on the back support rather than her own neck muscles. Her hand was firmly clasped around a rattle which she was waving in the air. Tansy smiled at her and was about to drop down to her knees when Minerva took her firmly by the wrist and pulled her over to the kitchenette.

'I may not be allowed to worry about you Tansy but you've eaten next to nothing today and it's dinner time.' She said firmly.

'I ate breakfast.' Tansy said, although she wasn't really arguing with her adoptive mother.

'Two scoops of cereal before Hope needed her nappy changing, and you didn't have anything for lunch. I don't routinely like commenting about people's weight Tansy but you're too thin. Madam Pomfrey says that you're dangerously underweight.' Minerva countered, her tone broaching no argument.

Tansy felt the heat returning to her face and slid into a chair without any further protest; this subject had come up during her morning health check before she was discharged from the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey had made her promise to eat more. She had also threatened to re-admit Tansy if she didn't gain some weight soon. Tansy picked up her fork, then dropped it again and stood up, swiftly crossing over to the sink to wash her hands. When she returned to her seat, she saw that Minerva had already piled both of their plates with chicken, vegetables and chips.

'Professor McGonagall…' Tansy began. Minerva looked up from her food, her eyes wary from the renewed use of her surname.

'What is it Tansy?' Tansy speared a chip on her fork and nibbled on it, her mind elsewhere.

'I wanted to… I've spoken to my friends but… I wanted to…' Tansy lowered the fork and looked down at her full plate, fighting to find the right words.

'It's okay Tansy. Take your time.' She felt Minerva taking her free hand and drew strength from her touch.

'I'm sorry… I'm sorry, mum. I can't find the right words. Talking is hard.' She struggled against the emotion that had suddenly risen in her chest. 'I'm sorry I ran.' She whispered eventually. 'I… I put you though hell… I didn't think. I'm sorry.' A single tear ran down her cheek.

'Tansy…' Minerva seemed to be at a loss for what to say. She put down her knife and fork and leaned in. 'Tansy, look at me.' Slowly and reluctantly, Tansy looked up and met Minerva's green eyes. 'I know why you ran. Merlin, I can't imagine how scared and confused you were feeling.' Minerva seemed to realise that Tansy couldn't say anything else but she let the silence stretch before she spoke again.

'You came back Tansy. It may have taken you a few months and you may have given me a few hundred more grey hairs but you made the right choice eventually. You came back. That's the most important thing.'

Fred's POV

'Well then, Mr Weasley. How have you been? Have you had a good day?' Fred barely heard her - there was something interesting about his hands that had just caught his attention; something about the way they curled together in his lap that Fred couldn't quite put his finger on.

'Mr Weasley? Did you enjoy seeing your family earlier?' Fred tore his gaze away from his entwined fingers and looked up at the Healer in front of him. She was wearing the familiar lime-green robes that they all seemed to wear; they were baggy and shapeless and in a colour that flattered no one.

'How have you been?' Her mouth was moving, pulling into a slightly strained smile. The words came to him from a long way away.

Fred realised that she was expecting an answer. He didn't know what to say. How had he been? Well, he was no longer vomiting his guts up – a side effect apparently of the spells and potions that they had used to rid his body of the deadly combination of sleeping potion, anti-anxiety elixir and alcohol that he had consumed two weeks ago, or was it longer than two weeks? He'd lost track of all time. Fred still didn't know if he had done it on purpose; all he'd known was that he needed to switch off his brain. And then he had woken up here and he'd realised just how far beyond 'too far' he had gone.

'Mr Weasley? I can help you better if you try to talk to me. How are you feeling?'

How was he feeling? Fred analysed this question for a very long time before coming to the conclusion that he felt absolutely nothing. Numb, that was the word he would use to describe this complete apathy. He would feel nothing for hours on end and then, all of a sudden, his emotions would rage out of control and he'd feel the need to punch a wall or slam his head against something as hard as he could – a need that he had not altogether resisted, which was why he was not allowed to be alone, not even when he went to the bathroom.

He dropped his eyes to his hands once more, not wanting to see the Healer's expression when he answered her.

'I'm sorry… I'm a bit out of it.' His fingers were distracting him again and he barely heard her reply.

'That's perfectly normal Mr Weasley. You're on a large dose of some very strong anti-anxiety potions. I…'

Her voice faded as Fred finally realised why his hands were so distracting:

They looked like George's hands.

He felt himself paling and quickly dropped them to his sides so that he wouldn't have to look at them any longer. Tears started in his eyes.

'Mr Weasley?' The Healer was pressing a wad of tissues into his hand. 'What is it?'

'I…' The words came out around a sob. 'I… I'm sorry!' From one extreme to the next; his emotions were now bubbling up uncontrollably, fast on their way to raging totally out of control in the way that he had promised to try to control.

'It's okay…' The Healer had begun, but Fred interrupted her.

'It's not okay! I see him, I see him everywhere. Every time I look in the mirror.' He threw up his hands, his fingers tracing the outline of his face; George's face.

'I understand…'

'You don't understand! I want…!' Anger suddenly exploded out of him and he stood up, punching out at the nearest wall. He heard his knuckles crunching in protest. Then, a second later, the pain hit him and he saw stars. Blindly, he slammed out of the consultation room and back to the ward where Ginny had left him the one thing he needed right now – purple hair dye.

Hope you enjoy.