Much later that same day, Tansy was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the living room, watching Hope who was lying on her tummy on a play mat and playing with a teething ring. Tansy had spent most of the afternoon in bed, getting up only to use the bathroom and to eat small bites of food. Madam Pomfrey had told her that she was suffering from magical exhaustion and Tansy was supposed to rest and to do as little as possible for a few days until it passed. Now, Tansy finally felt more alert than she had all day and she was enjoying an hour alone with her daughter whilst everyone else was at dinner before Hope's bath and bed time routine.

The door of the flat opened and Tansy looked up as Minerva entered the room. She smiled at her adoptive mother and Minerva smiled warmly back.

'How are you feeling Tansy?' Minerva asked, looking critically down at Tansy. Tansy nodded in reply and got to her feet, taking her time so that her head wouldn't spin. Then she crossed over and hugged Minerva tightly, trying to put a lot into the hug – her love for the other woman and her thanks for everything she was doing for Tansy and Hope.

'How are you feeling?' Minerva asked again, returning Tansy's hug.

'Better…' Tansy mumbled, pulling away. Minerva nodded and looked down at Tansy with keen eyes – when she had left an hour ago to have dinner in the Great Hall and to welcome the students back after the Christmas break, Tansy and Hope had both been dozing on the sofa.

'Are you hungry yet?' Tansy shrugged in reply but then she saw her mother's expression and she changed her answer to a nod. 'What do you fancy?' In all honesty the answer was 'nothing' but Tansy was aware that she needed to eat and that it was her anxiety that made her feel this way.

'S- something plain? I…' She hesitated, trying to find the right words. 'My… my tummy still feels…' Minerva waited while Tansy paused, trying to order her thoughts. '…rocky.'

'Okay, Tansy.' Minerva nodded and gave Tansy another hug before she walked over to the small kitchenette where she used her wand and a cardboard menu to order some food from the kitchens. Tansy knew that it would be delivered, steaming hot, in less than a minute and quickly walked over to the sink to wash her hands.

'Can you try to tell me why you're feeling so anxious?' Minerva asked, when they were sat opposite each other across the small table and Tansy was attacking a plate of scrambled eggs on toast.

'I… I don't know,' Tansy said truthfully. 'It's just…' She bit her lip wondering how to explain it. 'It's not…' She tried again but then gave up and focused on scooping up some more egg. Minerva nodded understandingly and waited until Tansy had eaten her fill before she broached the topic again.

'Tansy, I want to talk to you about something. I've spoken to Healer Knits and I've read your medical file.' Tansy felt her stomach sinking, the eggs she'd just eaten churning slightly, and she dropped her eyes to the table, knowing where this was going. 'You must've been in so much pain to hurt yourself that badly yesterday.' Minerva concluded quietly. Tansy could feel the fierce intensity of her mother's gaze and stared blindly at the toast crumbs on her plate, unable to look up. The silence stretched uncomfortably.

'I'm sorry…' Tansy finally whispered.

'Tansy, look at me.' Tansy tried to raise her eyes but failed. 'It's okay. I didn't want an apology,' Minerva sighed, for once seeming to be struggling to find the right words. 'Tansy, I know better than anyone that you aren't okay but I want you to know that I'm here, whatever you need at any time.'

'I…' Talking required too much effort – Tansy had had a relatively good day but now the fog started creeping back into the corners of her mind. 'I saw…' Her voice cracked slightly and she pressed her hands against her eyes, trying to order her thoughts.

'Tansy, look at me.' Minerva said again. Tansy lowered her hands slowly and Minerva reached across the table towards her. 'It's okay; I know that you had a flashback and I know that what you saw made you want to hurt yourself.'

'I… I wanted to die… I tried to…' Tansy glanced down at her arm and winced as she saw the bandage peeking out from under the cuff of her pajama sleeve. The wounds were nearly completely healed but Madam Pomfrey was trying a new anti-scarring cream and had wrapped Tansy's wrist in waterproof fabric to let it work.

'It's okay, Tansy…'

'I thought I'd rather die than let him… let him…' Tansy shook her head against the rising memories and the fog that accompanied them and looked over at her daughter, who was now playing with the ears of a large pink stuffed rabbit. Seeing her always made Tansy feel calmer, always helped Tansy to fight the fog.

'Deep breaths Tansy, it's okay.'

'…than let him…' Tansy tried again and then stopped.

'You don't have to talk to me about it if you don't want to Tansy.' Minerva said quietly after Tansy had tried several times to get the words out. 'You spoke to Healer Knits and you can talk to her again soon. I'm… I'm very very proud of you for doing that, I know how hard it must've been.' Tansy nodded numbly and took a few deep breaths and felt herself coming back to herself.

'It's hard… hard to remember some of the… the…'

'The things that happened at Malfoy manor?' Minerva asked softly and Tansy nodded gratefully.

'I… I… it makes the fog come back… it wins… I can't…' Tansy stumbled herself to silence.

'I know, Tansy.' There was a long pause and then Minerva got to her feet and fetched two mugs of coco and her tin of ginger newts from the kitchenette. 'Shall we sit on the sofa?' She asked, and Tansy nodded and followed her over to the easy chairs.

'I wanted to ask you what you wanted to do about lessons, Tansy?' Minerva asked, handing her a cup of coco and a plate with several biscuits.

'I…' Tansy hadn't even thought about it. She wondered if she had the brain capacity to attend class. Then, she remembered what she had told Fred and a fierce determination crept through her.

'I'm just trying to get better.'

More than anything, she wanted things to get back to normal, she wanted to feel like herself again.

'There's no pressure to do anything Tansy. We don't have to make any decisions now. We can revisit it in a few weeks if…'

'I want to try.' Tansy said, interrupting Minerva. 'I want to try… lessons… but…' She blanched slightly at the idea of returning to a full class but she determined to try nonetheless.

'That's a good decision, Tansy,' Minerva said, looking pleased.

'I… I don't think I'll be very good… fog…'

'Grades don't matter, Tansy. I would just like you to get back to some semblance of normality. I'll speak to your Professors and see if we can come up with a tutoring schedule to get you back on track. Later on, we can think about returning to classes with the other eighth years.'

There was something else that Tansy needed to ask, something that she was dreading bringing up. She hesitated, looking down into her untouched coco, wishing she could just sink through the dark chocolatey skin that had formed over the top and vanish into its smooth, creamy depths.

'What is it, Tansy?' Minerva asked gently. Tansy kept her eyes downcast for a few more seconds, composing what she would say. When she looked up, Minerva was looking at her carefully.

'I want to try… I still want to try to remember.' Once again, the fog threatened to drown her but Tansy dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands and the pain helped her to focus on her immediate surroundings. 'I need… I need to remember.' Minerva closed her eyes and a look of pain flashed across her face. She didn't say anything but, with a look of resignation, she nodded.

'Wake up, Miss Laverstock.' Tansy was submerged in a never-ending sea of black. 'Wake up.' The voice seemed to be coming from a very long way away, somewhere far above her head. Tansy tried to move towards it but her limbs felt heavy and it was like swimming through treacle.

'You need to wake up now, Miss Laverstock.'

Still fighting against the waves of drowsiness that were threatening to keep her under, Tansy prised open her eyes and looked around the darkened bedroom; Madam Pomfrey was standing by the head of the bed, leaning over her. Tansy suddenly became aware of a desperate need to use the bathroom. Still half asleep, she pushed her legs off the bed and tried to stand but her knees gave way and the floor come up to meet her.

'Let me help you.' Tansy blinked dazedly as the matron steadied her. She then slipped her arm around Tansy's back and half carried her into the bathroom. Before the girl even had time to react, she had pulled down Tansy's pajama bottoms and helped her onto the toilet.

'I'm sorry to wake you up, Miss Laverstock,' Madam Pomfrey said quietly, 'I was afraid that you might not wake yourself up in time. I wanted to avoid that if possible.' Tansy nodded, surprised that she didn't even feel embarrassed – Madam Pomfrey had helped her to the bathroom many times in the past.

After Tansy was done, the matron pulled the girl gently to her feet again, and, before Tansy could even send the correct messages to her brain, she had sorted her out and then pulled up her pajamas.

'I… I didn't wake up in time last night,' Tansy admitted quietly, feeling herself flushing slightly at the memory.

'I know, Miss Laverstock, it was in your notes from St Mungo's.' Madam Pomfrey helped her back to the bed and sat her on the edge of it. 'We still haven't quite got your potions right. Hopefully soon, we'll crack it and you'll feel less like you've been clubbed over the head by a dragon. I'll speak to Healer Knits later today.' Tansy nodded and leaned her head wearily against the headboard of the bed.

'Do you want to go back to sleep? It's nearly ten o'clock in the morning.' Tansy felt shocked – she glanced at the curtains but then realised that someone had cast a blackout charm to keep out the daylight so that she could sleep in uninterrupted.

'I… I should get up…' She muttered, suddenly wondering who was watching her daughter.

'Okay, if that's what you want. I want you to take it easy today though; your magic reserves are still teetering on the edge.' Madam Pomfrey said. 'I'll get you some breakfast in bed and I'll let Miss Granger in. She's with Hope this morning. I'm going to open the curtains now.' She did so with a flick of her wand and Tansy immediately shut her eyes as daylight flooded in through the window. She heard the matron leaving the room and then Hermione was there and baby Hope was cooing loudly as she reached for her mother.

'Tansy! It's so good to see you.' Tansy opened her eyes a tiny amount and smiled at her friend. Then she opened them wider and immediately reached out a concerned hand towards Hermione, suddenly feeling more awake and alert than she had in days.

'Are you okay, Hermione? You look…' Hermione looked exhausted and close to tears.

'Says the girl who looks like death warmed up.' Hermione said softly, placing Hope on Tansy's lap.

'Seriously, Hermione, what's the matter?' Tansy asked, bending down to kiss Hope's downy head. She inhaled her familiar scent of baby powder and dried milk and felt a wave of affection and love for her daughter.

'I've been…' Hermione gulped. 'It's just that I've been so worried about you, Tansy.' It seemed to be taking her a lot of effort not to cry. 'Professor McGonagall told me what happened on Saturday night when I came up here to see you… I… I couldn't believe it. Are you okay?'

'I'm okay now,' Tansy said softly, reaching out to take hold of Hermione's hand. 'I'm sorry you were worried, I… I… honestly, I still don't really remember what happened. They said it was an unconscious projection.' She bit her lip, thinking about some of the other things that had happened during her time at St Mungo's and resolved never to tell her friend about it.

'I know…' Two tears over spilled and rolled down Hermione's cheek.

'Fred's okay… I could've really hurt him…' Tansy shook her head in self-disgust as she remembered. Then she focused back on her friend. 'Is there anything else, Hermione? You look…'

'I've been stressed about other things too… I… it's been rising for months but I've been able to control it before but… but recently it's got worse… I haven't slept properly for days…' Hermione said hesitantly. Tansy looked at her with growing concern.

'Hermione, maybe you should ask Madam Pomfrey for some help? It sounds like you've got yourself in a bit of a cycle? Sometimes it can be hard to break a cycle once it's made… she's really good, Hermione. I should know…' She was pleased when Hermione nodded in reply. 'Did you make up with Harry and Ron?' Hermione shook her head and then suddenly collapsed onto Madam Pomfrey's recently vacated chair by the head of Tansy's bed, her shoulders heaving with sobs. Tansy leaned forward, horrified that her questioning had caused this.

'I'm sorry I…' She began, but Hermione was already talking.

'No… we… we argued again on Saturday night after Professor McGonagall told me about you… anyway, but then…' She seemed unwilling to continue. Tansy wondered if the boys had agreed with her section in the mind ward and then wondered if she was being both paranoid and selfish – not everything was about her. 'And this morning I just felt so…' Hermione seemed to shake herself suddenly. 'No! I'm being selfish – talking about me when you must feel even worse.'

'Hermione,' Tansy said softly, 'we always talk about my feelings. Just because I have…' She swallowed, voicing the words for the first time. '…a mental illness, doesn't make your feelings any less valid.'

'I just felt so stressed and anxious I didn't really want to see anyone or do anything!' Hermione sobbed. 'And then I realised that's what it must be like for you so much of the time and it's horrible.'

'Is that why you aren't in class?' Tansy asked softly – she didn't want Hermione to think that she was reprimanding her in anyway. Hermione nodded.

'I couldn't even face Transfiguration and it's normally my favourite class so Professor McGonagall suggested that I spend the day with you.' She gave Tansy a watery smile and turned to the baby who was squirming on the bed between Tansy's legs. 'Only I had to make do with Hope, didn't I?' She tickled the baby's cheek. 'Because Mummy was being lazy and sleeping in.' Tansy smiled as Hope giggled loudly and reached out a chubby hand towards Hermione's long plait.

'Miss Granger, are you okay?' Madam Pomfrey had returned with a heavily laden breakfast tray balanced on the tip of her wand. She expertly picked Hope up with her free arm and then put the tray in Tansy's lap, all the while looking expectantly at Hermione, clearly waiting for a reply.

'I'm… I'm okay…'

'Hermione…' Tansy breathed, squeezing her hand.

'Well,' Hermione gulped, 'actually, I'm feeling a little stressed and anxious at the moment and…' Hermione shot Tansy a look and Tansy nodded encouragingly at her. '…I've been finding it hard to sleep. It's been getting worse for a while but I could manage until recently but… but now…' Once again, Hermione's eyes filled with tears. 'Tansy said that I should talk to you.'

Madam Pomfrey was looking at Tansy with a strange expression on her face. Tansy, suddenly feeling self-conscious, picked up a piece of buttered toast and started nibbling it.

'Miss Laverstock is right. I can definitely help you Miss Granger. Come to see me later on and we'll have a chat.'

Even though she was still very concerned for her friend, Tansy smiled to herself and picked up her coffee.

Tansy stepped out of the fireplace at the Burrow on Saturday morning, feeling more clearheaded than she had in a long time – the rest of the week had passed slowly and quietly; Tansy had had two short sessions with Healer Knits and two study sessions with Hermione. Now that her magic reserves were well on the way to being normal again, she would be allowed to start proper tutoring with the Professors on Monday. To start with, she would have an hour a week in four of her six subjects; Herbology, Potions, Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts, as well as an hour a day to study with Hermione. She had also been given the go-ahead to use her wand again although Madam Pomfrey would be checking her magical reserves on a daily basis.

'Ah, there you are, I was just going to give Minerva a call to see if you'd changed your mind about coming.' Molly Weasley bustled forwards as Tansy stepped off the hearth.

Tansy glanced round the room, her heart giving a little skip of pleasure as she saw Fred sitting at the kitchen table with Percy, Charlie, Bill and Mr Weasley. She opened her mouth to explain that Hope had chosen two minutes before leaving time for another nappy blowout but then shut it again, feeling self-conscious.

'How are you this morning Tansy?' Mrs Weasley asked, giving the young witch a careful hug, then holding her at arm's length so that she could see Tansy's nodded reply. 'You certainly look a bit perkier. And how are you Miss Hope? Come to Nanny?' The baby smiled sleepily at her but turned her face into Tansy's shoulder when the other woman tried to pluck her out of Tansy's arms. 'Later then sweetheart.' Mrs Weasley said, beaming down at her granddaughter.

'Hey, good to see you Tansy,' Bill said, from over by the table and Mr Weasley, Charlie and Percy all echoed him. Fred said nothing; he was staring at the baby in Tansy's arms with undisguised amazement as if he was seeing her for the first time.

'Come and sit down, Tansy,' Mrs Weasley said, pulling out a chair at the table with a flick of her wand. 'Do you want a coffee dear? There's some in the pot.' Tansy shook her head and sat down. One quick glance around the room showed her that all of the men were still looking at her and, although she knew that she was being silly, she felt awkward and slightly wound up.

'Tansy?' Fred asked, speaking for the first time. His voice sounded scratchy and unfamiliar.

Tansy looked up to see him looking at her carefully across the table. His hair was still an unnatural purple but at least he had done his eyeliner with a lighter hand. She smiled at him, trying to convey that she was okay and that she was pleased to see him. Then she dropped her eyes back to her daughter's face. There was a long and slightly awkward silence, before Percy pushed his chair back and stood up.

'It's excellent to see you again, Tansy,' he said, the ring of his usual pompous tone coming through in his voice. 'I saw Hope last weekend and I couldn't believe how much she'd grown! You must be constantly buying her clothes. And she's definitely got the Weasley hair.' Tansy smiled at him and nodded gratefully. 'Anyway, I'm sorry if I'm being rude but I've got some papers to read before lunch. Is it okay if I use my old bedroom mum?'

'Of course, Percy.' Mrs Weasley approached the table and placed an enormous mug of hot chocolate in front of Tansy, complete with whipped cream, a chocolate flake and marshmallows. Tansy, who hadn't asked for anything felt herself smiling at the sheer ridiculous proportions of the treat.

'Don't you have things to do as well, Arthur? And I thought you said that you were on corridor patrol at eleven, Bill? It's ten to eleven now. Oh, and Charlie, would you mind taking this upstairs to the ghoul for me please?' She handed him what looked like a pile of freshly laundered, if slightly-threadbare robes. When she saw Tansy looking, she laughed lightly. 'He got used to wearing clothes last year so I try to give him a clean set a couple of times a week.'

The room cleared of people and Tansy realised, with a small inward flare of shame that they had done it deliberately to make her feel more at ease and to give her some alone time with Fred. She hugged Hope tighter and buried her nose in her downy head, inhaling the milky scent of her hair.

'She looks great Tansy,' Fred said softly from right next to her. Tansy jumped violently because she hadn't realised that he had moved chairs. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump.'

'I'm… I'm sorry… I'm a bit overwhelmed.' Tansy admitted, hesitantly. Fred's face changed slightly and he muttered something under his breath. She realised that he was counting to ten quietly.

'I know, me too,' he said. He turned to his mother, who was still hovering over the pair of them. 'Can you let us have some privacy, mum?'

'I'm sorry dear, you know what Healer Knits said.' A momentary expression of intense anger flashed across Fred's face before he reeled it in, his mouth turning down at the corners.

'I know mum, sorry…'

'Shall I take her while you drink your hot chocolate?' Mrs Weasley asked eagerly.

Tansy wanted to hold on to her daughter because it helped her to stay grounded to the situation but she could tell that Mrs Weasley was dying for a cuddle so she let the other woman take the baby out of her arms. Then, before she could second guess herself, she reached for Fred's hand.

There were so many things that she wanted to say to him, so many questions that she wanted to ask him, apologies she wanted to make. As usual, she couldn't find the words but today she didn't feel frustrated by her failure to communicate – she felt content just to sit in silence holding hands with the man that she was learning to love again.

Thanks for my reviews so far.