Severus Snape's POV

For perhaps half a minute, Severus sat frozen in his chair, staring in shock at his office door as it swung gently backwards and forwards, caught in a gentle breeze after the girl's dramatic exit. Then, taking a hold of himself, he got swiftly to his feet and followed her out into the rough stone passage. There was no sign of Tansy Laverstock, although he hadn't really expected her to hang around – she would be running, she always ran in a situation like this one. He remembered her running out of an Occlumency session in her fifth year after Dumbledore, Minerva and himself had confronted her with the truth of her time in the Muggle foster care system and he sighed. He hoped that they would be able to locate her before she did herself any further mischief. Could he really believe that this time was different? That this time she was trying to keep herself alive the only way that she knew how? He had seen the truth in her eyes as she spoke but that didn't necessarily mean that she was safe right now; Tansy Laverstock was so unstable that anything might tip her over the edge – her emotions and actions were unpredictable and could change in a heartbeat.

The mounted torches set at regular intervals in the rough stone walls flickered too slowly into life as he swept quickly past, so that they illuminated the passageway behind him but not the way in front so that he was walking through dense shadows. It was lucky that his feet knew every inch of these dungeon passages by heart – he could've found his way blindfolded if necessary. It didn't take him long to reach the bottom of the stairs that led up to the entrance hall. Here, a warm light seemed to seep down towards him, reaching out with golden fingers and plucking him up the last few steps into the main body of the school.

The entrance hall stood quiet and deserted in front of him but before Severus had taken even a single step towards the main staircase, the front doors were thrown open, sending a blast of icy cold January air across the wide space. Severus was simultaneously relieved and slightly chagrined as the headmistress rushed through, hatless and without a cloak, and with her usually neat hair tumbling down over her shoulders. She was propelling what looked like most of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team in front of her.

'Severus,' she panted, using her wand to close the huge front doors, 'that was quite a task, I can tell you…' She trailed off, waiting for the students to start up the main staircase. 'A prank gone wrong; someone had dosed the Bludgers with a Crazed Curse and they went absolutely wild… never seen the like…' She reached up a hand to her messy hair and shivered suddenly and violently; now that the adrenalin was dying down, she was starting to feel the cold.

'Is everything under control now, Minerva?' Severus asked swiftly, conjuring a cloak from thin air and handing it to her – of course she could easily have conjured up her own wrapping but she would never think to look after herself in that way, hence the excursion into the icy darkness wearing only a thin cardigan.

'Oh yes, thank you Severus.' Minerva McGonagall threw the cloak around her shoulders, shivered determinately for a few seconds and then looked around, seemingly searching for something. 'Is your session with Tansy over already, Severus? How did she do?' Severus inwardly cringed, his heart sinking a little.

'Can we talk in private?' He saw her face fall at his words, before setting in a resigned expression. Wordlessly she followed him into the deserted chamber beside the Great Hall. Slowly, Severus pulled the door shut behind them and turned to face her.

'Sit down, Minerva,' he said heavily.

He paused, then, without even trying to soften the impact of his words, her told her everything.

Tansy's POV

Tansy had no idea why her feet took her to the Defence Against the Dark Arts wing of the castle and why she found herself almost hammering at Remus's office door, so hard that the skin of her knuckles split and started to bleed. Her head was spinning, her thoughts so crowded and jumbled that she barely knew where she was or what she was doing. Perhaps subconsciously, her brain knew that she needed company and that was why it had brought her here.

There was no reply and she sank down onto the floor, her knees giving way completely as despair consumed her. Why was she even here? With shaking hands, she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to remain in control. The needle twinges of pain that she felt in her scalp as her fingers caught in the tangles helped her to focus slightly – she had come to Remus because he would help her and because she trusted him.

'Tansy?' Her head snapped up and she felt a wave of profound relief coursing through her as she saw Remus striding towards her. 'What is it? Are you okay?' His questions continued thick and fast and they made her head spin even more. Tansy threw up her hands to cover her ears. 'Your hands are bleeding again.' His voice was loud enough that she heard it through her hands.

'Tansy?' Remus leaned over her, prising her hands off her ears. 'Are you okay?' He continued, his tone urgent. Tansy focused on his concerned eyes. It seemed to take forever to send the necessary signals to her brain and nod in reply.

'Up you get.' Without waiting for her consent, Remus pulled gently on her forearms, sending a spike of pain up her arms. The clarity of thought that came with the pain cleared away the fog like magic. 'Come inside, love, and I'll make us a cup of coco.' Remus seemed to be slightly afraid that she would sink down on to the floor again and he kept hold of her as he opened the office door with a tap of his wand. Gently, he steered her inside, pushing her into a sagging armchair in front of the fireplace. Two minutes later he pushed a cup of coco into her unresisting hands and took a seat opposite her, staring intently into her face.

'What's happened?' His question was blunt and to the point, the way Remus's questions always were. Tansy's head was so full of cascading thoughts that she couldn't seem to focus on anything, let alone forming the words that would allow her to answer his question. She couldn't even remember why she had come here. Had it been a conscious choice or had she ended up here at random? No, she had come here because she trusted him and because he would help her. This was exhausting – her thought processes were so erratic.

'What has happened, Tansy?' Remus asked again, leaning towards her. Tansy carefully balanced her mug on the arm of her chair – her hands had started to tremble and she was afraid of spilling its contents all over herself. She took a deep breath – her secret was out now so there was no reason not to tell Remus what had happened; he would find out soon enough anyway.

'He found it…' It took her several seconds just to get out those three words. Remus's face went white and he leaned forwards even further, so far that he seemed to be bent almost double.

'Severus found the memory?' Tansy stared at him blankly – Snape had found a memory but she suddenly realised that Remus was talking about a different memory. 'The memory of what happened to you at the manor?' Remus pressed. At his words, Tansy suddenly felt tears spilling over eyelids. Shame and self-hatred flared through her.

'No,' she whispered, 'he found…' The shame and failure coursing through her seemed to double as she struggled to admit the truth out loud. She clenched her hands into fists, sending prickles of pain through the broken skin of her knuckles. The pain helped her to focus but it also made her feel sick with shame. 'I'm sorry.'

'Merlin's beard, Tansy, what are you sorry for?' Remus asked.

'He didn't find that memory, Remus,' Tansy whispered. 'He found… I'm sorry…' She took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry for… for this…' In the end it was easier to push back her sleeves and show him rather than telling him.

'Tansy?' Remus sighed, understanding dawning. He was unable to hide the shock and horror either in his eyes or in his voice. With what appeared to be a monumental effort, he pulled himself together. 'It's okay sweetheart; we'll sort this out. Everything is going to be fine.'

'He… he found a memory of me… of me hurting myself.' Tansy gulped, more tears over spilling.

'It's okay now, Tansy. It's going to be okay. I promise everything is going to be okay.' Remus had reached across the small space between them and had taken both of her hands in his. He squeezed them reassuringly.

'He told me I had to stop but I…' Tansy stuttered to a halt, unable to find the words.

'He's right, love. You do have to stop. We'll…'

'No!' Tansy wrenched her hands out of his, knocking the mug of coco onto the floor. There was a crash as the mug broke into several pieces and she felt the boiling coco spattering her tights. 'No! I can't, Remus! She grasped at her face, digging her fingers into her skin, before tugging hard at her hair. The pain helped her to focus.

'It's the only thing that keeps the fog at bay! I don't think I can do it any other way. The fog will win! I don't want it to win! If it wins, I'll…' She felt Remus taking her hands again and pulling them gently down into her lap. 'It's not like last time, I promise…' She faltered, trying and failing to explain what was going on in her head. She hadn't been able to explain to Snape either, hadn't had the right words. She never, not once in her entire life, had had the right words. 'I don't want to die, Remus. I want to live. I just can't fight the fog any other way. It always wins and if it wins…' She faltered but Remus must understand – he'd seen what happened when the fog won.

'Tansy… shh…' It was rare for Remus to show emotion but he made no effort to hide the tears in his eyes. 'It's okay, love. We'll help you, we'll all help you. You will get through this. I promise that we'll find another way to clear the fog. I promise that we won't let it win.'

'I…' Tansy swallowed hard, her feelings of shame and self-hatred bubbling to the surface once more. 'I just can't do it any more, I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…' She kept repeating the apology again and again, her voice becoming higher and more panicky with each repetition until Remus wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tightly.

'Shh, love, it's okay, what can't you do?'

Betrayal. Once again she'd betrayed everyone she loved. Hating herself even more, Tansy opened her mouth and whispered the words.

'I can't do any more sessions with Snape. Please Remus, please… I want to stop.'

'Are you okay?' Tansy started and looked up to see Fred looking carefully at her from the armchair opposite hers. It was strange because today, his purple hair stood up in a spiky halo around his head and his black eye makeup had been applied so thickly that she could barely make out the shape of his eyes. Added to this, he was wearing coloured contact lenses which had changed the usual warm brown of his eyes to a cold, shimmering grey. It made her uneasy, even though she kept telling herself that it wasn't important, that Fred was Fred, no matter what he looked like.

'Are you okay?' He pressed, when she didn't reply. Tansy looked back into the dancing flames and nodded slowly, gathering herself.

'I'm just a bit tired, that's all – I didn't sleep very well last night after…' She trailed off, unwilling to go on.

'Did Hope keep you up?' Fred asked, glancing over at the closed bedroom door, behind which Hope had already been put to bed. 'I thought that she was sleeping much better – mum said she went right through the night when she stayed over last week.'

'Yes, she is… I just…' Awkwardly, Tansy pulled at her sleeves. She winced as she remembered what had happened after her conversation with Remus the previous evening. After she had calmed down a little, the two of them had returned to the headmistress's tower to find both Minerva and Madam Pomfrey waiting for them. In spite of both woman's attempts to get Tansy to talk, she had gone straight to bed without saying a word to either of them – she'd felt too exhausted to go through it all again and she'd left Remus to do the explaining. She hadn't been so successful at avoiding Minerva this morning and they had had an intense and awkward conversation that Tansy had found very difficult. Then, almost as soon as the breakfast things had been cleared away, Healer Knits had arrived for an emergency session. Tansy shuddered as she remembered. At least everyone had now agreed that the Legilimency sessions with Snape were to come to an end immediately and forever. That was a relief at least, although Tansy still felt ashamed of her weakness especially when she'd promised to try to help clear George's name. It was all too much…

'I want to forget.' She was suddenly on her feet with no recollection of standing up. 'Please Fred, make me forget.' Not even caring that they were in the living room and that Minerva could enter at any time, Tansy took a step towards him and pulled him up out of his chair. She pressed herself as close to him as she could get, wishing there weren't several layers of clothing between them and the feeling of his body, warm and solid against hers made her feel calmer and more in control.

'Tansy?' Gently he pulled away from her and Tansy had to quell an almost irrepressible feeling of rejection that surged through her. 'What's going on?'

'I…' Tansy bit her lip as she remembered what had happened the last time she had brought up the subject of Snape's sessions. 'I don't want to upset you, Fred, I...'

I'm doing okay, Tan. You know how much better things have got in the last couple of weeks. Please talk to me.' Tansy nodded – Fred had been allowed home without supervision on several occasions now and this coming weekend they had planned to go to their cottage for a couple of hours, just the two of them. Tansy wondered if she would be allowed to go now.

'Did something happen with Snape?' Fred blanched slightly but then seemed to rally himself. 'Did he find something? Did he find the memory?' Tansy stared at him for a few seconds; Fred had always been so good at reading her mind and now he'd hit on the truth, but, like Remus, it wasn't the truth that he had been anticipating.

'Do you remember what you said in the orchard?' She asked abruptly, taking him by surprise with her rapid change of topic.

'What? I mean, which part? I…' Fred looked stricken and she hastened to reassure him.

'When we talked about.' She hesitated, trying to find the right words. 'When we talked about how you broke your own hand?' Her voice dropped to a whisper and the next words came out so muffled and so quickly that they were almost incoherent. 'About how you wanted to hurt yourself? I…' Tansy took a deep breath and pulled herself together. Fred was looking ashamed and sad. He opened his mouth but then closed it again, shaking his head sadly and seemingly at a loss for what to say.

'They've stopped the sessions with Snape.' She told him quickly.

'Why?' Fred whispered, raising questioning eyes to hers. 'Did you remember what happened?' Tansy cringed, fighting back another wave of self-hatred and shame. She shook her head slowly.

'No… I… I couldn't do it anymore. I was…' She stopped, amending the words that she had planned to say so that she told him the whole truth, because lying to Fred was not an option. 'They made me remember awful things, made me relive them. It… it made me want to hurt myself again, like I did before.' Her voice dropped to a whisper. 'I did hurt myself Fred. I still want to…. It's the only way to fight the fog, the only thing that makes sense. I'm sorry.'

'Tansy…' He didn't ask why. He didn't tell her that she was wrong. He was the one person who she knew would always, totally understand her.

'I'm here for you, my love. I'm always here for you. We'll get through this together.'

Happy New Year! Please let me know what you think. Spoiler alert – she will find those memories very soon, even without Snape's help.