Warning – sex.

Tansy eased the bottle back into her daughter's mouth for what felt like the fiftieth time but Hope immediately spat it out again, turning her head to the side, her whole face puckering as if she was trying to decide whether or not to start crying. Tansy sighed and gave up, placing the bottle on the bedside cabinet and lifting the baby into a sitting up position – she was too tense and she was sure that Hope could feel it too.

There was an abrupt knock on the bedroom door and Minerva pushed it open and walked into the room before Tansy had even had a chance to respond. Minerva had been doing that a lot recently and it was starting to get on Tansy's nerves. She knew that her adoptive mother didn't trust her and, although Tansy knew that her reasoning was sound, it still stung slightly.

'Tansy, Mr Weasley has just floo-called my office to say that he's at the cottage already and you can come when you're free.' Minerva's mouth thinned slightly and Tansy felt her heart sinking a little, knowing what was coming next. 'I thought that we had agreed that it would be best if you postponed the trip?'

Tansy dropped her eyes to the bed, her earlier tension redoubling. Hope squirmed slightly as Tansy's arms tightened around her, her whole face starting to pucker again and Tansy knew that she had perhaps seconds before her daughter started to wail and tried to relax her grip slightly. Her hands shook slightly and she gave up, instead choosing to lay the baby down on the blanket beside her where she squirmed and stretched out her tiny arms, momentarily distracted by the change in position.

'Tansy?' Tansy was still avoiding looking at Minerva, focussing instead on her daughter's angry expression.

'Tansy?' Minerva asked again. Tansy shut her eyes for a few seconds, anticipating the coming argument; a continuation from one they'd been having for several days now. She'd never argued with her adoptive mother before and it felt wrong, as if they had crossed an irreversible boundary in their relationship that they would never be able to retreat back from again.

'I want to go.' To Tansy's surprise, the words came out quiet but clear, even over Hope's grumbling. Minerva exhaled sharply through her nose. When Tansy looked up, she saw that her adoptive mother had closed her eyes, as if praying for patience. Irritation welled up inside her and she bit her lip and stared up defiantly.

'I know that you do, Tansy,' Minerva said, her eyes snapping open. 'However, as we discussed last night, it is better if you do this another time, when things are easier for you, perhaps.'

'I want to go,' Tansy repeated, slightly louder this time as her irritation rose. She bit her lip again swallowing down the cruel words that she wanted to spit out at her adoptive mother – that they hadn't decided anything last night; Minerva had simply told Tansy firmly and clearly that she wouldn't be going to the cottage the following day for her own safety.

'Tansy, I won't allow you to go to the cottage today, not without appropriate supervision and I'm afraid that I have a staff meeting and I…'

'I'm fine!' Tansy couldn't remember ever interrupting Minerva in the past but the words had escaped before she could hold them back. 'Nothing's going to happen. I promise I'll be fine, mum.' Today was one of those days that that name felt wrong and awkward in her mouth, as if it didn't quite fit. Today, 'Professor McGonagall' seemed a more appropriate name to use. Nevertheless, Tansy's words seemed to mollify the older witch somewhat.

'Tansy…' Minerva hesitated, then crossed over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to Hope. Absentmindedly, she tickled the baby's tummy and received a small, grudging smile and a tiny chuckle in response. She sighed deeply, giving her adoptive granddaughter a gentle smile before she turned back to Tansy. 'Tansy,' she began again, 'you know why I won't let you go today. I'm sure Mr Weasley won't mind spending the morning here instead. His mother's coming too – I think she's planning to take Hope to Hogsmeade. Perhaps you could all go?'

Tansy felt a wave of exhaustion flooding through her and she shut her eyes again and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. After a few seconds, she opened them again to find Minerva looking at her sadly.

'I won't hurt myself, mum. I promise.' Tansy whispered the words but they seemed to reverberate around the room nonetheless, bouncing off the walls and window, or maybe they were just bouncing around the inside of her own skull. She flushed slightly but remained staring determinately at her mother. Minerva shook her head and reached out to brush a lock of Tansy's curly black hair out of her face, the sadness in her eyes intensifying.

'I want to believe you Tansy,' she said, softly, 'and I know that right now you mean what you say, but we both know that you can't always fight these urges. Sometimes they get the better of you.'

'I… I won't hurt myself at the cottage,' Tansy said again, trying to sound firm even though her voice shook slightly. Minerva shook her head and squeezed Tansy's shoulder.

'I know you won't want to, but…' She trailed off, shrugging and Tansy realised that she needed to explain, because Minerva clearly didn't understand.

'I… I won't hurt myself at the cottage because I don't want any… any bad memories there too… I... I want it to be… clean…' That was one thing that Tansy was very very sure about, but it was very hard to put the feeling into words. 'I promise,' she finished weakly, 'it will only be for an hour or two – Fred will be there the whole time and…' Tansy could see that Minerva was wavering a little and redoubled her efforts to persuade her. '… and I'm trying. I'm trying, I promise. I know I don't always win but… but you didn't let me go last week either and I have to start doing things on my own again now or I never will. You have to let me…' Tansy couldn't remember the last time she'd said so much in one go. It seemed to take Minerva by surprise too although Tansy could see that she was still sceptical.

'In all honesty Tansy, I don't want to let you out of my sight.' Minerva finally admitted, her face paling slightly. Tansy spontaneously reached over and hugged her, immediately feeling comforted as Minerva's arms tightened around her in response. It was a several seconds before they pulled apart. Minerva was still looking down at Tansy with a sad expression on her face and Tansy knew that the other woman still hadn't changed her mind.

'I haven't hurt myself for four days,' she said, her voice low. She hated talking about it but it wasn't as though Minerva was unaware of the daily struggle – she'd been on hand many, many times in the last two weeks to help Tansy fight the urges.

'But you still had urges to hurt yourself, Tansy.' Tansy shuddered as Minerva said the words out loud, but nodded, knowing that lying would not help her case right now.

'I came to you though, I didn't… I didn't do it…' Minerva nodded. The she sighed deeply. At that moment, Tansy knew that the battle had been won and she would be allowed to go.

'I suppose you did.' It seemed to cost her a lot to say the next few words. 'Okay, you may go but only for an hour. If anything happens or if you feel the urge to self-harm at any point, I want you to try to come back to me. I'll be in my office the whole time, just a floo-call away. Do you promise, Tansy?'

Tansy nodded soberly.

'I promise mum. I love you.' She felt Minerva's arms tightening around her again and her mother's soft breath on her hair as she kissed the top of her head.

'I love you too, Tansy.'

Fred's POV

Fred pushed his long, purple fringe out of his eyes and grinned as Tansy stepped out of the fireplace, carefully knocking the ash off her shoes so that she wouldn't transfer any on to the beautiful rag rug that Mrs Weasley had made to go in front of the fire.

'You made it then.' She nodded and smiled at him, her cheeks flushing slightly. 'For a minute there, I thought that Professor McGonagall was holding you hostage.' Tansy's smile dropped slightly at his words - she looked tired and pale and there were dark shadows under her eyes but she also looked happier than she had in weeks and Fred found himself hoping that things were finally starting to get easier for her.

'Minerva let me out in the end.' Tansy said softly, hesitating on the hearth rug, as if she was still making up her mind whether to approach him or not. Fred felt an urge to cross over to her and wrap his arms around her but held himself back - these days, he always let her take the lead when it came to any physical intimacy; since the events at St Mungo's at the start of the month, he was always wary of overstepping her boundaries and triggering a flashback or something similar.

'Can I… can I have a hug, Fred?' Tansy was still standing awkwardly on the hearthrug, poised on one foot. She looked uncomfortable and unsure of herself.

'Of course, my love, come here.' Without waiting to be asked again, he crossed over to her, pulled her into his arms and lightly kissed the top of her head. Her hair smelled faintly of strawberries and coconut which struck him as slightly strange because she'd always used mint flavour shampoo in the past. It was such a small and trivial thing but he felt a bit sad that he didn't know those tiny things about her any longer. They had come so far in the last month but they still had such a long way to go to rebuild their relationship.

'How are you doing? Did you have a better day yesterday?' He knew that she'd had some bad urges two days ago and she'd been visibly struggling when he's seen her that evening. Minerva had only let him stay for a bare half an hour and Tansy had only spoken twice in that time, once to say hello and once to bid him goodbye. As soon as she had stepped out of the fireplace, he had been pleased to see that her eyes had lost their haunted look and she was noticeably less tense today. Fred felt her nod, her head pressed against his chest and smiled with relief as she pressed herself closer to him, lifting up her face towards his. Taking that as a sign that she wanted to be kissed, he leaned down and pressed his lips lightly to hers.

'Yesterday was okay. Thursday was bad though. I really wanted to…' She trailed off, shuddering perceptively and pushed herself even closer to him. Then, appearing to visibly pull herself up and out of the dark thoughts, she changed the subject. 'How was your session with Healer Knits, yesterday?'

Fred felt his face breaking into a pleased smile. Tansy pulled back slightly so that she could see his expression. He saw that she was already smiling back at him, clearly anticipating what he was about to say.

'They're letting you out!' It wasn't a question. He felt the smile stretching his face even further until his cheeks ached.

'Yes, I'm being discharged on Wednesday. I'm going back to live with Mum and Dad at the Burrow for a few weeks but if everything continues going to plan, I should be able to come back here soon. I can't wait. I've missed it so much.'

'This is our home, Fred,' Tansy said, looking around at the small living room and smiling. 'That's such great news. I…' Without warning, her hands slid down his back so that she was grasping his bottom and she gently pulled his pelvis towards her. A flash of warning briefly flickered across Fred's consciousness before his instincts took over and he felt himself responding with enthusiasm.

'Are you sure you want this, Tan? Are you sure you're ready for this? There's no rush…' She nodded eagerly, her smile sending butterflies of anticipation fluttering through his insides. Then her face fell slightly and she glanced over her shoulders at the fireplace where the flames still flickered with a greenish tinge from her arrival five minutes ago.

'Can we go upstairs though? I know that the floo is alarmed but I'm nervous that someone might arrive.' He nodded and quickly pulled her out of the room.

He knew it was madness to do this now, when they were both still so fragile, and still putting themselves back together again. He knew that it was too soon, that they were moving too fast but he also knew that he wanted it as much as she seemed to. It was strange seeing her without any clothes on again – he'd caught a glimpse at the hospital when Healer Stone had vanished her clothes but everything had been happening so fast and it had been so terrifying and so overwhelming that he had barely registered the fact that she was naked. She'd changed quite a bit over the last year and a bit; she was thinner and her body looked older and more battered – more scars fought for attention over her arms and legs and the skin of her stomach was still slightly saggy and covered with stretch marks from her pregnancy. She was also looking at him nervously as he stared at her, her small shoulders taught, as if she was expecting him to recoil in disgust or rebuff her in some way. Fred took a step towards her, groaning as he felt himself growing harder.

'Tan, you are so damn beautiful, my love. Come here.' Quickly he pulled off his boxers and grabbed his wand so that he could perform the contraceptive charm when the time came. Tansy had come to stand beside him and she still looked nervous.

'Are you okay? Are you sure that you want to do this?' He tensed himself, expecting her to shake her head.

'Yes! I want you… please… I'm just…'

'Just what, love?' He asked gently.

'Nervous…' She hung her head and he reached out to hug her, trying to make her feel more at ease. It took a few seconds before she seemed to relax.

'Can I go down on you?' He asked suddenly. She looked at him in confusion. 'I want to taste you.' When she nodded, he pushed her into a lying down position and manoeuvred himself so that he was between her legs. 'Is this okay?' He waited for her to nod before he reached up and kissed her gently on the lips.

She was tense, every muscle taught with anticipation, but as he slowly began to use his tongue, he felt her melt and relax into the mattress.

'Fred, I…' She gasped quietly, her back arching on the mattress before sagging into it again. Then she made a noise that he had never heard her make before, somewhere between a moan and a yelp. 'Fred, I want you inside me, now… please…' He needed no further invitation and quickly he changed position, moving back up the bed so that he was lying on top of her. Gently, he eased himself inside her. It felt so good after all this time. They still fit together as seamlessly as they had that last summer before their lives had been so bent out of shape by Voldemort and the hunt for the Horcruxes.

'I love you, Tan.' She stared at him and he leaned down to kiss her.

'I love you too, so much.' It was so lovely to hear her say those words again.

But, as they moved together and he stared down into her face, he saw something change slightly in her expression. Her eyes widened slightly, her pupils constricting with fear and her mouth opened as if she was about to cry out. Then, as suddenly as if someone had flicked a switch, she went completely tense and she was fighting him, pushing him off her so violently that he fell right off the bed, landing on his back on the wooden floor. The air left his lungs with an abrupt thump and, for several seconds, he was helpless, unable to move or even to breathe.

'Tansy?' Fred finally managed to stagger to his feet, wheezing like an old man. He took a step forward, his hands outstretched, trying to calm her down.

'Fight it, George! Fight it! It isn't real!' She stared at him, terrified, seemingly looking right through him.

'Tansy?' She cowered away from him, flattening herself against the headboard of the bed and drawing up her knees into her chest, her whole body shaking.

'Tansy?' Fred tried to approach her but she'd thrown up an unconscious shield charm. 'Please, my love; you're safe. Everything's okay.' She couldn't hear him – she was no longer even with him in the cottage. Whatever she was seeing was terrifying and real to her, more real than the bedroom around her and Fred. Again and again, he tried to get through to her but there was no response.

He hated leaving her in this state but he also knew that he had no alternative – he hadn't been able to cast a Patronus in well over a year and he had no owl to send. Fred quickly pulled on his clothes, took one last look at Tansy, still flattened against the headboard of the bed, and then dashed down the stairs. He knocked over the pot of floo powder in his haste, but somehow managed to pull enough of the sparkly pink dust off the carpet, cutting his knuckles on the fragments of earthenware from the broken pot. Ignoring the stinging pain, he threw the powder into the fireplace and stepped into the roaring emerald flames

'Hogwarts!' The living room vanished in a swirl of bright green flames.

Sorry for the month of absence – I've had this chapter nearly ready for weeks but finding time to type it up and proofread it was impossible. Life is very busy but I am writing again so please be patient.