Warning – memories of abuse

Tansy's POV

She was trapped in a terrifying and never-ending nightmare cycle with no way to break free; over and over and over again he approached her across the bare little room, his eyes crazed with desire but somehow far away as if he was looking at her from a great distance. She tried to plead with him to stop, to fight the curse, but it did no good. It never did any good. Again and again and again, he pushed her down and forced himself into her. Repeatedly, she fought back, anger and sadness fuelling her exhausted limbs and pushed him off her, fighting him, punishing him until he stopped hurting her, stopped fighting back, stopped moving altogether.

Then, as his breathing stuttered to a halt, silence would descend on her surroundings and she would feel her body freeze, as if she had been placed under the full body bind curse. Slowly, torturously slowly, the scene would dissolve and reform around her and he would be walking across the room towards her again. Again and again and again… it was unending and there was no escape.

Minerva's POV

Minerva McGonagall was finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on the staff meeting she was having with her head of houses that Saturday morning. Her mind was focussed instead on what her adoptive daughter was doing, and, more pressingly, if she was okay. If, Merlin-forbid, she was safe enough. She certainly wasn't in the right frame of mind for a discussion about the generous donation they'd just received from the Ministry of Magic and what to do with it. (Filius wanted to splurge on a ball, similar to the Yule Ball but Severus was more cautious, suggesting instead that they save the money for a time when they really needed it).

'But a celebration is just what this school needs after the horrors of last year. We could hold it on the second of May - a little party to rejoice You Know Who's vanquish.' Filius squeaked passionately, nearly falling off his chair in his enthusiasm. Trying to pull herself back to the present, (even when her honest opinion was that, right now, she really couldn't care less what they did with the money), Minerva turned to him. Perhaps it was lucky that Pomona saved her from having to think of a response.

'You know, a little light hearted celebration might be exactly what this school needs, Severus,' the head of Hufflepuff said, nodding. Minerva saw Severus's mouth twitching up in a small sneer and wondered if they were about to go round in a full circle and begin the debate all over again. Gathering her thoughts together, she looked between her head of houses, stalling slightly - it wasn't like her to balk at decision making but she just didn't seem to be able to focus today. It was hugely unprofessional but she was just too exhausted to care, especially when there were more pressing things on her mind. She turned to Remus.

'Remus, what are your views?'

Before he could answer, bright emerald flames sprung to life in the grate, with such enthusiasm that all five of them jumped to their feet. Five wands pointed at the fireplace as the unannounced figure emerged, spinning like a top amongst the bright green flames. Minerva felt her throat tighten and panic stirred in the depths of her stomach as she recognised the visitor. Locking her rickety knees in place and quickly sheathing her wand, she took a step around the desk just as Fred Weasley tumbled out of the fireplace. He landed in a heap on the hearthrug but was up again in an instant, springing to his feet, his eyes wild and terrified and his clothing dishevelled.

Ignoring the surrounding heads of houses, he had eyes only for the headmistress.

'Please professor, it's Tansy! You have to come. I didn't know what to do!' He was frantic, his eyes huge and scared. Minerva had crossed the room and was beside him before she had even made the conscious decision to move towards him. Her heart was in her mouth, her muscles taught as adrenaline flooded through her. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

'What has happened, Fred?'

'I… we were…' He seemed hesitant, almost awkward and there wasn't time to probe him for more details.

'Is she still at the cottage?' Fred nodded and Minerva grabbed the small lacquered box containing her supply of floo powder off the mantelpiece.

'I have to go.' She didn't properly register the expressions on the faces of her head of houses but she realised that both Remus and Severus had come to stand beside her.

'Let's go, Minerva, lead the way Fred.' Remus took the box of floo powder from her shaking hands, opened it, and offered it round. She waited only long enough for Fred to go in front of her before she grabbed a pinch of the sparkly dust and threw it onto the fire.

'Min Y Mor, Farch Ynys!'

The flames roared and turned a bright acid green and she stepped forwards into the fireplace, closing her eyes against the nauseating vortex as she was sucked into the sickening whirl of flames and fireplaces. After what felt like an age, but was probably only a few seconds, she felt herself slowing down and carefully brought her hands up, bringing herself to a controlled halt. Then, staggering slightly, her head still dizzy from the whirling journey through the floo, she stepped out of the fireplace and into a small but comfortable living room. There was no sign of Tansy in this room. Behind her she heard the floo whirring again as Severus and Remus arrived, close on her heals.

'Where is she, Fred?' Minerva asked, hurrying as fast as her stiff knees would allow her towards the only door. Fred was a few steps in front of her but he turned around at her question.

'She's upstairs but she's…' Minerva saw that he was blushing crimson. He yanked the door open and she followed him through into a kitchen-cum-diner where a set of stairs led up to the second floor. Fred hesitated a second, his foot on the bottom step. He lowered his voice so that the two men behind wouldn't be able to hear what he said next. 'She's not wearing anything, Professor. We were…'

The heat radiating off him seemed to redouble and Minerva felt her insides twisting with a fury so intense that it left her completely blindsided for a few seconds, as she tried to quell the temptation to curse Fred Weasley into oblivion. She took a deep breath to control herself, telling herself firmly that she was being unreasonable – she knew that it would have been wholly consensual. Had she really expected them to spend the morning playing exploding snap? It had probably been Tansy's idea. Merlin, she had seen how careful Fred was with Tansy these days – he wouldn't have forced her, he probably wouldn't even have asked for it.

'Lead the way, Mr Weasley.' She was pleased that her voice came out sounding brisk and controlled. There was no trace of anger or blame in it.

Fred stopped again when he reached the landing, and glanced back uneasily at he two men who were following them up the stairs.

'I… Tansy is…' He began.

The need to see Tansy was almost overwhelming now they were so close and Minerva resisted the urge to push forwards.

'Wait here!' Her voice came out sharper than she had intended and she saw both Remus and Severus raising their eyebrows at her tone but she ignored them and turned back to Fred, who was still hesitating in front of a closed bedroom door.

'Let me go in, Fred.' She took a step forwards, intending to push past the young wizard and into the bedroom if he didn't move but he stepped aside at the last minute, opening the door and slipping into the room beyond just ahead of her.

'Tansy, I'm back. It's okay, my love. Minerva's here.'

Following him through the door, Minerva saw that Tansy was flattened against the headboard of the bed, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs and her face pressed into her knees. She was frozen in place, as still as if someone had cast a full body bind curse on her. She didn't look up as they approached. In fact, she gave no indication at all that she even heard Fred's voice.

'Tansy?' Swiftly, Minerva went over to her. 'Tansy?' Gently she reached forwards, expecting for her hand to come up against an invisible shield charm. To her surprise, however, she found that she could touch the girl's arm. There was no reaction at all to her touch – Tansy seemed completely unaware of her adoptive mother's presence.

'It's okay, Tansy, I'm here.' Gently, she took her adoptive daughter's shoulders in her hands and shook her. There was still no response.

She turned to Fred and realised with a jolt that he was barely keeping it together.

'Fred, it's okay. Take a deep breath – I can't deal with both of you right now.' She tried to smile at him but found that her face had frozen in position. 'Can you tell me what happened? How long has she been like this?'

Fred took a deep, shaking breath, visibly struggling to pull himself together.

'We were…' His voice shook slightly. '…you know.' He looked horrified with himself. 'I'm sorry, I didn't think. She asked for it, Professor. I promise I didn't put any pressure on her. I didn't even suggest it but she wanted it…' He gasped, raising his hands up to his face in his distress. 'It was too soon, I'm so sorry… and…' He gulped, finally losing the thread of self-control he'd had left and tears started rolling down his cheeks, leaving streaks of black mascara in their wake. She could see him quivering with a barely suppressed self-hatred and knew that she had perhaps seconds before she lost him completely.

'Okay Fred, I believe that. I know how careful you are with her.' Minerva said, trying to keep her voice low and gentle – she couldn't let him lose control of himself, not now. Regardless of the fact that she had enough to deal with right now with Tansy, she knew just how hard Fred had been fighting and just how close he was from being discharged from the hospital. If he lost control now, it would probably delay his release. It would be a massive setback, a huge blow. He didn't need that. 'It's okay, you didn't know. Take another deep breath. I need your help. Please Fred.' She could see that he was trying to pull himself together, although it seemed to take him an awful lot of effort. 'Can you tell me what happened then?'

'She suddenly went tense. Then she pushed me off her and started shouting as if… as if I was George… as if I was forcing her…' Another tear rolled down his face, leaving another streak of black mascara. 'I don't think she knew that she was here any more. It was like the time at the hospital when she had that flashback. I think that she was back there at the manor… with… with him.' He looked sadly at Tansy, biting his lip to stop himself from crying again.

'She's trapped in a memory,' Minerva said slowly, realisation dawning at Fred's words. 'She's trapped in that memory!' Simultaneous feelings of horror and excitement were bubbling up inside her at the thought. Quickly, she grabbed a blanket form the chair by the window and wrapped it around Tansy's slight shoulders, her hand lingering again on the girl's shoulder. Once again, the young witch gave no indication that she even felt Minerva's touch.

'It's going to be okay,' Minerva said softly. She didn't know if she was speaking to herself or to Fred or to Tansy. She raised her voice slightly. 'You can come in now, Severus, Remus.' She continued, her heart heavy at what she knew they needed to do next.

Severus Snape POV

In the past, Severus had found Tansy Laverstock's mind a chaotic labyrinth of twisting thoughts and emotions. He'd had to fight his way through the nightmare, moving slowly and subtly to stop her mind from forcibly throwing him out again but simultaneously using enough force to propel himself forwards and down to the place where she had locked away her deepest, darkest memories. He'd struggled to find his way through the insane chaos as it throbbed and pulsed around him, throwing up barriers in front of him that he'd found almost impossible to penetrate. Every second he had spent in there he'd risked being forcibly ejected out of her mind.

Now, her mind was different and a smooth stream of dark consciousness seemed to grasp him as he entered, almost as if he was a swimmer, sliding into a strong stream of water. It took hold of him and swiftly propelled him down into the depths, further down than he'd ever been before. This time there were no barriers standing in his way. Her mind was so easy to navigate and so clear. Everything was leading him down to this one place. This one memory.

With a jolt, Severus realised that that was all that was left – this one memory. Her mind had retracted around it, like a black hole collapsing in on itself. She was trapped in a memory. She was trapped in the memory - the memory that he had been searching for all this time. But it was too powerful for her to control and it was slowly erasing the rest of her mind, eating away at it bite by bite. He needed to stop it before it was too late and there was nothing left except the memory. Severus knew that he didn't have long.

From the side-lines, Severus watched, feelings of horror and insane anger saturating the air around him as the events of the memory unfolded in front of his eyes, looping around again and again and again as soon as she had neutralised her attacker. Severus could feel its alluring pull and instinctively locked his knees in place to prevent himself taking a step towards the scene – he knew that if he wasn't careful then he too would become trapped here. The nightmare running in front of his eyes was too compelling and too insistent. He wanted to become a part of it. His own consciousness yearned to be drawn in.

Focussing his attention and using more concentration than ever before, he mentally intoned the spell that would eject him forcibly out of a person's mind. He had never needed it before, never even become close to being trapped in someone else's mind before now. At the time, it had seemed almost a waste of time to learn such a complex and dangerous piece of Legilimency magic. Now, he was almost weak with relief that he'd put in the hours even though the force of his spell would most likely cause a small amount of damage to his own brain.

He snapped back into his own mind so quickly and forcefully that, for a few seconds, he was disoriented and dizzy and there was a faint stabbing pain behind his left eye. Taking a few deep breaths to control the faint nausea that threatened to rise, he turned to where Minerva, Remus and Fred Weasley were all looking at him, their faces showing identical expressions of concern.

'You were right, Minerva, she's trapped in the memory of George Weasley's attack.' He didn't even try to soften the impact of the words.

'What should we do?'

'How can she come out?'

'Is she going to be okay?'

Their questions came one on top of the other, their voices loud and overlapping in the small bedroom. Severus held up his hand for silence, thinking hard.

'We have to…' Remus began.

'She's trapped in a circular memory and I need to unlock it.' Severus interrupted. The pain was building behind his eye and he was having trouble focusing. 'The only way is to get her to move on past the point where it loops back to the beginning. She needs to move through the memory. I have to facilitate this, and quickly, before her mind is completely destroyed.'

'Destroyed?' The pain behind Severus's eye had got so intense that he was having trouble seeing clearly but the distress in Minerva's voice was so palpable that he didn't need to see her expression.

'Her mind is closing in itself,' he said softly. 'I need to get her to move on through the memory before it's too late. If we leave it too long there will be nothing left except that one memory.'

'Do you know how, Severus?' This time it was Remus who had spoken, although Severus heard Minerva give a tiny moan. Nearly blind with the pain in his head, Severus turned to Remus.

'At Malfoy Manor, Bellatrix placed a cruciatus curse on her. I think we need to use pain to…'

'There is NO WAY…!' Irritation bubbled inside him and he held up his hand to stop the other man's protests.

'Remus, don't be ridiculous, please. I am merely suggesting that I try a mild stinging hex. The pain should help her to refocus and it should help her to move forward and leave the loop.' He blinked and Minerva's terrified face swam into view again, as well as Remus's furious one. Severus closed his eyes briefly and tried to focus beyond the pain in his head which now felt like somebody drilling through his eye socket with a red hot poker.

'I'm sorry but I think it's the only way and it will merely cause her a few seconds of pain.' He didn't wait or her confirmation before he flicked his wand at Tansy Laverstock's leg.

'Aculeaminema!'

The spell was broken immediately and the girl drew in a deep, shuddering breath, her head snapping up and her hand reaching automatically for her leg, even as she gazed around at the people surrounding her in confusion and panic. She seemed to draw in a deep, steadying breath and some of the panic left her eyes. It was hard for him to be sure because his head was on fire but Severus thought that she looked almost relieved.

'I remember what happened.' Her voice was so soft they all had to lean in to hear her. 'I remember.' A tiny smile flickered across her face and she took another deep breath. 'I remember.' She repeated, almost as if she was talking only to herself.

'Good…' It was the last thing he said before the pain in his skull overwhelmed him and he felt his knees giving way and saw the floor coming up to meet him.

So she's finally remembered what happened. Thank you for my reviews so far. Please keep them coming. They really inspire me to start the next chapter.