For the first time in nearly a fortnight, Tansy and Hermione had grabbed the chance to spend some time together, just the two of them. The initial plan had been to go to Hogsmeade together, but neither of them were in the mood for other people so they had decided to go for a walk around the castle grounds instead. They had brought with them a spelled thermos full of hot ginger cordial and a few of Mrs Weasley's famous Welsh Cakes to nibble on as they walked. The snow that had covered the castle and grounds for several weeks now had finally started to melt as January slipped quietly into February, bringing icy rain and strong winds and the girls had taken the opportunity to slip out in one of the brief interludes of damp sunshine that came between the heavy showers. Although the rain seemed to have stopped for the moment, Tansy felt sure that they were going to get a soaking at some point soon – the sky had that dark, forbidding look that suggested a cloudburst at any second and although they had seen glimpses of the sun over the last thirty minutes, it was now completely hidden behind a bank of dark grey clouds. She hoped that Hermione remembered the water repelling charm because both the incantation and the required wand movement had slipped her mind. As she racked her brains, trying to recall it, Tansy realised that she had also left her wand behind. She shook her head at herself, knowing that she ought to take more care, particularly since they were walking beside the forbidden forest where all sorts of menacing creatures were known to live. Even so, she had other things on her mind – trying to be surreptitious, she glanced over at Hermione for what felt like the fiftieth time since they started their walk.

The fact was that Hermione looked so exhausted and so frazzled that Tansy kept losing track of the conversation they were having because she was so worried that there was something terribly wrong with her friend. Hermione, however, seemed keen to remain on topic and had so far successfully rebuffed all of Tansy's attempts to steer the conversation towards her. Apparently, she just wanted to talk about Tansy's upcoming trial. It had finally arrived and they would all be travelling to the Ministry of Magic the following morning. Tansy had been seesawing all day between feelings of relief that it was finally here and pure undiluted panic that she would have to face a panel of Wizengamot and, perhaps even more crucially, she would be expected to sit through the evidence presentations – the replay of the video that Bellatrix had taken and also the memory that Snape had wrested from her just over a week ago. She had been fully briefed by both Minerva and Remus as to what was expected of her.

'There's no case, none at all, not really.' Tansy realised that Hermione was speaking, saying the same thing that she'd said, perhaps six times already in the past thirty minutes. Her face looked white and pinched underneath one of her own knobbly knitted elf hats and her eyes were bright and slightly fevered. She dropped her eyes downwards, taking in the tatty old cloak and oversized cardigan that Hermione had put on over school skirt and old, laddered tights. 'You know that it's just a formality, Tansy – Gawain told you that didn't he?' Tansy dragged her eyes away from Hermione's body – had her friend lost weight? She nodded absentmindedly, still more focussed on her friend. 'How are you feeling about it? I bet you're nervous, but we'll all be there…' Hermione was doing a great job of pretending to be okay and Tansy was sure that anyone else would've been totally convinced. Unfortunately, Tansy wasn't taken in by it.

'Tansy?' Hermione pressed, 'are you really nervous?' Tansy pushed her worries to the back of her mind and concentrated for a moment to consider the question. Then she sighed and shrugged.

'I'm…' She hesitated, trying to put how she felt into words. 'I suppose I am nervous, of course I'm nervous but…' She stopped again, shaking her head. Then she looked Hermione in the eye. 'It's weird, Hermione; I'm not nervous about people knowing the truth. I knew when I came back last month that this would happen - I knew I'd have to face the fact that other people knew the truth and I chose to stop running anyway.' She shook her head again, gathering her thoughts together. 'In a way, I'm glad it's finally coming to an end. Either way, there should be a conclusion by the end of tomorrow. Kingsley said that it wouldn't take long now that I'm pleading guilty.' She shuddered slightly as she said this last part, realising exactly what that 'conclusion' could be – even after all of the assurances, there was still a small part of her mind that was quietly convinced that she would be sentenced to a lifetime in Azkaban prison. She felt the faint pricking of tears in the corners of her eyes and told herself firmly to get a grip – she needed to be strong now, stronger than ever before.

'Guilty but with diminished responsibility,' Hermione corrected softly, reaching out and giving Tansy's mittened hand a small squeeze. 'Come on, let's keep walking – it's freezing out here, Tan.' She turned away, not noticing the expression on her friend's face.

Tansy didn't like the term 'guilty but with diminished responsibility'. She knew why they were using it and, objectively, she could see that they had a point. Even so, Tansy felt accountable for her actions. She might have been tortured for weeks but her mind had felt clear that day in Malfoy Manor – she remembered how, at first, she had just wanted to stop George from hurting her but then the panic and the fear had morphed into something altogether more sinister. She remembered how she had wanted to punish him for what he was doing to her, she had wanted to hurt him and hurt him worse than he was hurting her. Perhaps she had even wanted to kill him. She shuddered perceptively and drew in a deep, quivering breath, wondering if this last thought was true. She couldn't remember.

The two friends walked in silence for a few more minutes. Rounding a corner, she saw the Whomping Willow in the distance and, beyond it, Hagrid's cabin. There were no lights in the window which suggested that Hagrid had gone to Hogsmeade with the rest of the castle's occupants.

'I'm scared of what's going to happen,' she admitted suddenly, breaking the silence and surprising herself with her honesty. 'You know, I don't like people looking at me and I'm going to be the centre of attention.' Hermione stopped walking again and turned to look at her.

'You know that they won't really be looking at you – you'll be video linked through from Gawain's office. Harry has set up a muggle video camera in the office and there's a screen in the courtroom. It's taken him days to get it all working properly because muggle technology just doesn't seem to work properly where there's a high concentration of magic in the surrounding air.' Tansy nodded but didn't speak. 'You won't be able to see the jury.' Hermione continued, seemingly sensing her friend's unease. 'Your screen will just show Gawain and it's just going to be you, Minerva and Kingsley in the room together. I'm sure you'll be fine.' Tansy shrugged, wondering if it really would be okay or if she would simply panic when questioned. There was also the very real fear that, when the time came, she would find herself completely unable to get any words out at all.

The two friends stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Then, a particularly strong gust of wind caught the tree they were sheltering under and they were suddenly caught in a deluge of icy droplets. The shock brought Tansy out of her fears and back to the present.

'Urgh, I'm soaked. Come on Tansy. Let's go in and get some hot chocolate. I think there's some of Mrs Weasley's lemon cake left in the tin in your kitchen too.'

'Wait a minute, Hermione.' Hermione stopped, mid turn and looked back at her friend.

'Are you okay?' The question was blunt and it came out of nowhere, clearly taking Hermione by surprise because Tansy saw her friend go white and flinch perceptively.

'I'm fine, Tansy.' The tiny, defiant tilt of the chin was enough to tell Tansy that her friend was lying.

'Hermione?' She reached out a hand to her friend. Even through the double layer of mittens, courtesy of Mrs Weasley, she could feel that Hermione had started to shake.

'How are you getting on with the potions from Madam Pomfrey? How are you doing?' She asked quietly. A strong sense of self-loathing swept through her as she realised that she hadn't asked her friend how she was coping. It was true that she'd had a lot going on but that wasn't an excuse to be careless with her friends. Tansy bit her lip, trying to push the feelings to the back of her mind for the time being, so that she could focus fully on Hermione.

'To be honest, Hermione, you look as if you might be struggling a little bit.'

'No, I'm fine…' Tansy raised an eyebrow.

'You're a rubbish liar you know.' She smiled weakly at her friend and Hermione seemed to bite her lower lip, her eyes suddenly sparkling with unshed tears.

'I know…' Hermione tried to smile through her tears. 'But I'm not really lying - things have generally been okay until… well, I suppose that things just got harder again this week. I've been so worried about you too and…' She trailed off, gave a loud sniff and mopped at her face with the sleeve of her winter coat.

'I'm sorry.' Tansy mumbled, hating the fact that she seemed to be adding to her friend's problems.

'It's not just that, I mean I was obviously so pleased that you remembered what… what happened even if you nearly killed Professor Snape.' Tansy grimaced; she knew that her friend was trying to make a joke but it still felt a little close to home - Snape had spent nearly three days in the hospital wing, recovering from the damage that Tansy's collapsing mind had inflicted on him.

'But…' Hermione's voice shook slightly as she continued. 'It's just that things are hard right now with Ron. I'm hoping that it'll all settle down once the trial is over and we can all move on.'

Tansy squeezed her friend's hand and nodded.

'I hope so too.'

She felt a few drops of water hitting her head and started to walk again, knowing that their grace period was almost up and they were about to get very wet as the sky disgorged its contents. They were almost at the castle steps before she spoke again.

'I get the feeling that Ron isn't…' She hesitated, searching for the right words. '…isn't coping all that well with everything that's happened.' Tansy still hadn't returned to lessons with the rest of the eighth years, instead relying on tutoring sessions with the Professors and studying sessions with her friends. Out of all of her friends, Ron had been conspicuously absent and she'd barely seen him over the last few weeks. Even though Harry had told her that Ron was busy with Quidditch training and Head Boy duties, Tansy knew that he was just making excuses for their friend.

'He was doing okay until you came back.' Hermione said a little bluntly. Tansy felt a sinking feeling in her stomach at her friend's words and then dismissed it in the same instant because deep down she'd expected this. 'Before you came back, it was like we all had a purpose. But once you were back, that purpose vanished and we were all forced to face the reality again.'

'Sometimes it's just easier to keep fighting,' Tansy whispered, 'it's much harder to go on now that the fight is over.'

'I suppose that until you came back, he'd been able to forget, well not forget exactly but push it down. Now it's all come flooding back.' Hermione said. She hesitated, her foot on the bottom step and turned to look at her friend. 'We all felt like that in a way, I guess, but I think Ron has found it the hardest.' Her face twisted into an anguished expression and Tansy reached out a hand towards her, trying to reassure her.

'Sometimes I feel like such a failure, Tansy.' Hermione whispered. 'I get so frustrated and irritated with him. I try to be patient with him but he can be so hard. Then, I feel like a failure for letting him down.'

'You're stressed and anxious too and you've been having trouble sleeping for months.' Tansy said softly, taking her friend's hand and squeezing it tightly. She sighed, suddenly feeling much older and much surer of her herself than usual. 'None of us were equipped to deal with what was thrown at us last year and it's going to take us all some time to come to terms with it.' Hermione gave her a watery smile and Tansy returned it. She flushed slightly, wondering if what she was about to say would sound slightly corny, but continued nonetheless.

'We're in this together. I know it's hard not to forget that sometimes.' She said quietly. 'It's easy to feel alone but we need to try to remind each other that we're here. The four of us can get through anything so long as we're together.'

'It's all going to be okay. 'It's all going to be okay.' Tansy told herself over and over again as she sat with Minerva in Gawain Robards's office, waiting for both the Head of the Auror Offices and the Minister for Magic to arrive. She took a deep, steadying breath, counted for six and then released it in a slow, controlled manner.

'You're doing so well, Tansy.' Minerva said quietly, reaching across and squeezing her adoptive daughter's hand. 'I'm so proud of you.'

Under normal circumstances, this comment would've caused Tansy to blush but today she was too focussed on quelling the rapidly rising panic: The effort of remaining calm and in control was taking nearly everything she had and the trial hadn't even started yet. There was so much at stake and she knew that she just couldn't lose it now. It was so nearly over. They were so close to the end and by the end of the day it would all be done and they could all move on. She couldn't delay things by having a panic attack, not now. Her arms ached suddenly for her tiny daughter, who she had left in Madam Pomfrey's care for the day. She would focus on getting though the day for little Hope, the very embodiment of the future if ever there was one.

The door of the office swung open suddenly, causing Tansy to jump both Gawain Robards and Kingsley Shacklebolt walked in. They were both wearing long, sweeping robes made from a thick plum-coloured corduroy material. Tansy tried to smile at them in welcome but the muscles of her face wouldn't respond to the signals that she was trying to send to them so she gave up. She felt Minerva's cool hand on her own and felt slightly less panicky.

'Ah Miss Laverstock, it's good to see you again.' Kingsley said fervently, his deep voice resonating around the small office. Tansy took a deep breath, bit her lip very hard, and nodded.

'Thank you.' Her voice was tiny but it was there. It was a promising start. She felt Minerva's hand tightening around her own again and, glancing across at her adoptive mother's face, she read both surprise and pride in her expression. It helped her to feel stronger and braver.

'We're nearly ready to start down in courtroom one.' Gawain Robards said, looking uneasily at Tansy. 'How are you holding up, Miss Laverstock?' Tansy nodded again and shrugged automatically. This time she was unable to find the words to answer him and the silence stretched uncomfortably until he spoke again.

'I understand that this is extremely difficult for you, Miss Laverstock, which is why I wanted to reassure you of a few points.' Tansy tried to focus on what he was saying because this was important and she needed to pay attention. 'I will activate the visual video link once I enter the courtroom. As you have decided not to testify, the audio link will only be activated for a very short period at the start of the trial for you to confirm your name and how you are pleading.' He stopped, seemingly to make sure that she was still following him. Tansy nodded again, trying to convey without words that she understood what he was telling her.

Tansy, Minerva and Remus had made the decision several days ago that Tansy would not testify in her own defence at the trial. They all knew that it would be asking too much of her to talk about what had happened that day. Merlin, even on video link, and in a completely different room to the court proceedings, it was still going to be hard for her to talk at all, even if all she had to do was confirm her own name, date of birth and how she was pleading.

'The trial isn't open to the general public. We've closed the gallery to keep it as private as possible and the only people allowed in will be family members. There will also be no media presence allowed in the room.' Kingsley put in. Somehow, his deep voice soothed Tansy's nerves a little. She knew that they were making this as stress-free as possible for her and she was very grateful to them.

'We are also using a smaller fraction of the Wizengamot than we would usually use for a case like this one. There will be only ten members present, rather than the usual fifty.'

'We want to keep this a stress-free as possible for you.' Gawain Robards put in, confirming Tansy's thoughts. 'Just ten members of the Wizengamot, myself and the Weasleys.'

Tansy bit her lip and nodded. It took her several attempts but she finally managed to open her mouth and thank them for helping her. Once again, her voice was nearly inaudible. She felt Minerva squeezing her hand again and glanced over at her adoptive mother to see that she was smiling reassuringly at her.

'I'm going to head down now as the trial starts in just under half an hour.' Gawain Robards said, turning back towards the door. 'I will have some refreshments brought here in the meantime.'

'Thank you, Gawain,' Minerva said and Tansy nodded at him.

'Good luck, Miss Laverstock.' Gawain left the room and the door swung shut behind him.

Tansy stood up and crossed over to the window. The enchanted view here was of a formal garden that stretched far into the distance. Summer flowers and lush green lawns dominated the forefront of the scene and there was a sapphire blue duck pond in the distance where gigantic pelicans were feeding.

'Miss Laverstock?' She turned and looked up at Kingsley, who had come to stand behind her. 'How are you feeling?' She shrugged, not able to put her feelings into words. She felt a stirring in her lower abdomen and placed a hand on her belly. 'There are facilities three doors down on this side of the corridor if you need to use them before the trial begins.' Kingsley said, seemingly reading her mind. Tansy felt her stomach flip over again and decided to take him up on the offer.

She took er time using the toilet and washing her hands. Here, there was another one of those enchanted windows, this one displaying a stunning view of a range of snow-capped mountain peaks, under a clear blue sky. It was so calming, she nearly tried to open the window to lean out, but when she reached forward without thinking, her hand simply sank through the picture and met the solid wall behind, her fingernails scraping across the rough bricks and mortar.

When she finally returned to the office, she found that Kingsley had set up a muggle video camera with a screen next to it in front of two padded but straight-backed chairs where he and Tansy would sit. Minerva would sit out of sight behind the camera lens where she could lend some moral support to her daughter. Someone had brought in a jug of water and a plate of fancy iced shortbread biscuits in the shape of various breeds of British dragons. Tansy thought that she recognised a Hebridean Black alongside a Common Welsh Green. There was also a strange red one that she didn't recognise.

'A Welsh Fire-thrower,' Kingsley said, offering her the plate, 'nearly extinct now. They fight terribly with the Common Welsh Green.'

'No thank you.' She was quite surprised to find the words, even at a whispered volume, because the sight of the video camera and screen had heightened her anxiety again and she could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Subconsciously, she ran the fingernails of her left hand across the back of her right hand, digging in her nails. The stinging pain brought her sharply back to the present and she realised that she'd left a long scratch across the back of her hand. Slightly sickened with herself, she reached for a glass of water so that her hands could be busy elsewhere. Her panicking eyes met Minerva's calm, collected expression. Seemingly sensing her panic, her adoptive mother crossed over to her and placed a hand on Tansy's shoulder.

'Breathe, Tansy. It's going to be okay.'

'Five minutes,' Kingsley said quietly. 'We'd better take our places.'

Reluctantly, Tansy relinquished the water glass to her mother and turned towards him. Her legs shook slightly as she took a step towards the two chairs.

'Here.' Minerva said, stepping forwards again and wrapping her arms around Tansy in a tight hug. Tansy felt something slipping into her hand. It was soft and malleable but oddly firm and warm. When they broke apart, she saw that she was holding a soft, rubber stress ball, in an unobtrusive black which wouldn't even show up if she held it against her black skirt. 'It's going to be fine, I promise.' Minerva leant down to kiss the top of Tansy's head, before making her way over to her chair.

'Of course it is.' Kingsley agreed, pointing his wand at the video camera. 'Good luck Miss Laverstock.'

'It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay.' Once again, Tansy repeated the words over and over to herself. Trembling slightly, she slipped into her seat as the screen in front of her flickered into life and a picture of Courtroom One blinked into being.

Thanks for my continued support. I'm currently moving house so things are stressful and busy but I promise that this story is very near to completion now.