What Love Gave Us

by

Ava LeBeau

Eight

"You know, when Carrick had troubles… I was wondering, did he ever think that he was wrong in his approach, that he could lose everything, mother?"

He'd never really called Carrick Grey father but had referred to him as Carrick instead most of the time.

"You're talking about the trust fund, darling, am I right?" His mother's voice was soothing and loving and he found solace in it, hoping for guidance, unsure what to do next.

"No, I mean losing his reputation and what he stands for… as in being a real man," Christian rubbed the back of his neck as he pressed forth the last few words, wondering if he should've refrained from calling her, suddenly feeling pathetic and weak. But somehow his mother had always been the only one able to give him at least some reassurance.

Christian was trying to shake that familiar sense of dread that seemed to hover over him like a dark, thunderous cloud ever since he'd agreed to write that damned attestation about S.I.P. in order to get the coveted tranche from the trust fund to start his own business. He'd wanted to get it over and done with as quickly as possible, had wanted to move on, but all of a sudden all of this seemed so wrong and he felt a strange urge to save Ana, the whole staff of S.I.P. for that matter, from his father's all too familiar, greedy claws.

Christian felt powerless, something he found difficult to admit, even to his mother, and the thought of losing made a new swell of frustration rise inside of him. And he was sure he was letting Ana down and that every step he was taking was just another mistake, betraying everything that he hoped was blossoming between them.

"Your identity? How can you ever lose your identity, my darling?"

A moment of silence ensued when there were still so many questions he wanted to ask her. Grace had always found ways to calm him down. That was up until that night in the garage where he'd felt almost the same in Ana's presence, a fact that had intrigued him ever since they'd first met. Her reassuring demeanor, that caring attitude.

Ana.

Happiness cheered his soul and Christian smiled a little, allowing himself to admit that he couldn't wait to see her again.

"Thank you," he said, "I love you, mother."

Having regained new strength, new direction at what he was about to do next, Christian ended their call.

"S. I. P.. Anastasia Steele speaking," she already knew who was calling her and of course he was the very reason for her heart skipping a beat.

"Hello there, angel," his sonorous timbre made her wish he was here.

"I may be good but I am not an angel, Mister Grey," she said, mocking him but struggling to keep her voice straight, biting her lip to refrain from chuckling and the urge to simply ask him where he was.

"How are you?" Unlike hers, his voice sounded cool and business-like, and she kind of hated him for it.

"Better now," she admitted, adding in her thoughts 'now that you're calling', her heart started racing as she awaited his retort.

"Are you free this afternoon?" his aloofness was driving her crazy.

"Yes," Ana tried to sound just as casual as he did but she was sure that she was failing miserably when all she wanted was for him to be here with her, them spending some time sitting in his office, talking over her concept again when all they both really wanted was… Anastasia stopped herself, chewing on her lip, wondering what he wanted at all.

She shook her head as if it would help to get rid of all those thoughts, a futile attempt. But Christian was all she could think about no matter how much she'd tried otherwise.

Haughty, stuck-up Christian, the guy with those scars on his buff chest, the inebriated dude who'd rambled on about how much he wanted her right there in his arms, his platinum gray eyes flickering feverishly when she'd comforted him during that nightmare, his mumbled words of worry and despair haunting her.

Another deep breath was everything she had to steel herself before she said, "Guess what? We've got a really embarrassing display of red poinsettia here at S.I.P., Mister Grey. I'm wondering if you've just given Finance a panic attack."

Christian's husky laughter sent another streak of happiness through her.

"Well, anything to give Hyde a heart attack actually," Anastasia wondered if he was smirking while he spoke.

Apparently, money wasn't a matter, they'd never really had such a lavish Christmas decoration before and the bright smiles of Jennifer and Hannah were still very lucid in Anastasia's mind.

"Bad boy," Ana bit her lip, waiting for his answer.

"Don't tell me you like nice guys," once again Christian's voice was annoyingly calm.

"Maybe…," an impish grin.

"Interesting," she could tell that he was grinning, "Anyway, I really like the concept you showed me last night and the… uhm… pictures."

"Glad you like it. Are you going to include it in your report?"

Christian only cleared his throat.

"Are you in today?" Ana hated herself for the fact that her voice was quivering when she asked him but there was no denying that all she wanted was him to be there.

His presence made her feel different in so many ways, in ways that no one had ever been able to make her feel safe and secure, a fact that she'd only recently become aware of.

Anastasia closed her eyes again, trying to calm that tingling feeling that rose inside of her, feeling all ridiculous and hopeful at the same time.

'Come to me,' was all that she could think.

Christian.

What the hell was he doing to her?

The scent of cinnamon and vanilla filled the air in the tiny office kitchen as Ana rolled out another layer of dough, humming along to a festive tune that was playing softly in the background.

She'd blocked out Hannah's and Jenny's babble, concentrating on the task at hand, the smell of cookies, yes, the smell of Christmas.

It was only then, when a familiar voice dragged her out of her thoughts, making her insides clench in the most positive way. His low drawl oil to the fire that was burning inside of her ever since she'd talked to him earlier today.

Anastasia wiped her hands on her apron and turned around, finding Christian Grey leaning casually in the doorway with a mischievous glint in his eyes. That powder blue cashmere sweater he was wearing made him look more than handsome, really bringing out the color of his eyes. And the fact that Christian seemed to have only eyes for her made her blush even though she fought against it.

"Mister Grey, what are you doing here? Can I get you something? Coffee?" Jennifer was quick to tend to his wishes while Ana tried to act casually.

"Just wondering what's goin' on here," he said with a warm smile. "And maybe lend a hand in the kitchen?"

Anastasia felt it hard to breathe all of a sudden as Christian stepped into the room, carrying a bag of groceries, the sound of his voice making her quiver inside.

"I hope you guys don't mind, but I brought some ingredients for this baking session," he explained as he set the bag down on the nearby table, starting to unpack the purchases.

Anastasia couldn't help but smile at his unexpected gesture. "I love that," she blurted out, knowing that all eyes had darted to her, feeling a flutter of excitement and joy in her chest.

She sucked in another deep breath in an attempt to steel herself before she turned to look at him, unsure if she could bear another one of his flawless smiles, the banter that made those butterflies go crazy in her stomach, his intense gaze.

As they worked side by side in the kitchen, Hannah having them declared a team for this spontaneous office bake-off, Christian proved not only to be incurably ambitious but also surprisingly adept at baking. Displaying no airs and graces at all for a change, he expertly rolled out the dough and patiently cut out intricate shapes for the cookies, all while exchanging playful banter with Anastasia. Their hands and arms brushed against each other as they reached for ingredients or equipment, every teensiest touch sending the most delicious sparks of electricity through them both.

"More mindful this time," Christian had teased, that subtle nod towards the apron she was wearing both innocently cute and still so condescending.

The cheek of him!

And still his teasing elicited a small smile from Ana when their gazes met.

"Guess I'm teachable," she winked and a blush started ghosting across her cheeks when she bowed her head a little, feeling his curious gaze on her once more.

"Good girl," he mumbled, making her chuckle, fully aware that he felt somewhat embarrassed about his lame retort and still it was probably simply his way to acknowledge her heeding his advice. That picture of her in Kate's parents' kitchen all dusted in flour was still vivid before her mind's eye as was his greedy stare, so unlike him and still so very much Christian Grey.

Anastasia searched his gaze, careful as not to be burned by it again. But she had to admit that he was rather controlled at his approach today, still making her all weak in the knees and the other girls in the kitchen silently swoon, when it was only her, Ana, standing right beside him, playfully fighting about the right amount of icing on those cookies he'd just produced moments earlier.

And while Christian had the inexplicable capability to make her melt inside in the most delicious ways, this time he was kind, his anthracite glance just as shy and searching as hers.

Soon enough, their laughter filled the room as they decorated the cookies with colorful icing and sprinkles, creating an array of festive treats that reflected their shared joy and, at least that was what Ana hoped for, connection. They would smile when their eyes met and their smiles both held an unspoken understanding that there was maybe, just maybe, something more between them and most certainly all this didn't go unnoticed to everybody in the small kitchen.

And inside Ana was sure that Christian had changed this afternoon. At least he seemed so different from what she had witnessed back at his office the other day, him being all tense and dismissive when Anastasia had shown him those pictures even though he'd insisted otherwise. She'd been so proud of the outcome, so sure that it would make an impact, sure that it would be enough to incite a change, to make others think about their ways and their way of living.

Shooting another glance at him, Ana allowed herself to let her gaze linger this time, suddenly sure that Christian's presence and his courteous attention were too much for her to handle when it was actually all that she wanted from him.

The burning doubt if he felt the same was crippling her, making her crumble inside. Was it all just a childish crush? Was it more than that? Was it only one of his insidious tricks to win her over?

Too many thoughts and fears. Christian looked so relaxed, his laughter so careless and contagious, his mood elated. She'd never seen him like this and Ana wished they were alone, cause if they were she'd just kiss him right there.

After they'd finished baking, they sat down at the kitchen table with steaming mugs of hot cocoa and admired their handiwork.

And before Christian left he'd told the others that he was convinced that they'd win. An urgent call that needed his attention, he'd claimed, leaving Ana behind in the warm glow of the decorated kitchen's light that was casting a soft radiance over the whole scene. And as she gazed at the beautifully decorated cookies that now adorned her table, she couldn't help but long for him to be there again.

"Christ, Hyde, you've grown quite the dad bod."

"At least I am not working for my daddy, Grey."

Christian bit the inside of his cheek, grumbling, "Mhmm."

It wasn't easy to be a son. He glanced at Jack Hyde who took another swig of beer from the bottle in his hand before he turned to look at the other.

Jabbing his threatening index finger towards Christian's chest he said, "Leave Ana out of this, Grey."

Christian arched his eyebrow, successfully concealing his surprise at the unexpected demand, "You seem rather smitten. Tired of bein' home alone?"

The look on Jack Hyde's face was priceless but Christian refrained from grinning.

"I mean it," Jack hissed, raising the bottle to his lips again.

"Of course you do," scanning the crowd while he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, Christian squared his shoulders, blissfully ignoring the furious Jack Hyde who was standing next to him, nursing his drink.

Anastasia's heart raced with excitement as she entered the office Christmas party, greeted by the festive decorations, thanks to Carrick Grey's petty cash, a lavish buffet and cheerful chatter of her coworkers. She was looking forward to a fun evening and to seeing him again, even though she had decided to keep her distance. The gossip at S.I.P. was brutal and Ana was sure that they had definitely made it to the top of the list after the bake-off this afternoon.

As the evening progressed, Anastasia found herself engaged in lively conversations and laughter with Jennifer, Hannah and the guys from marketing, all the while feeling that piercing platinum gaze on her from across the room, making her feel as if she were his and his only.

Suddenly, Jenny called for everyone's attention, saying that it was time to announce the winner of the cookie bake-off. Ana joined in on the applause when the team placed third was called. Before she could react, Christian appeared out of nowhere and stood right beside her.

"I'd be disappointed if we lost," he said, smiling at her.

"You hate to lose," Ana pointed out.

"I always get what I want," his smile widened, reaching his eyes, but froze when Jack appeared beside Ana.

"You're getting rather clingy, Hyde," Christian said flatly.

"Is everything okay, Jack?" Christian's gaze darted to Anastasia's hand when she touched Hyde's arm, his mouth now set in a hard line.

But before Jack could snap back at Grey somebody turned the spotlight on them and Ana gasped, caught by surprise.

The second place had been announced and Christian held out his hand for Ana to take.

"If you'll excuse us," Christian's smile was rather a snarl as he glared at Hyde.

Ana uttered, "Guys... just stop it," and brushed past Christian, ignoring his hand, to make her way to the makeshift winner's podium, her teammate was quick to follow.

She could feel his hand against the small of her back and straightened ever so slightly, his light touch sending a tingling sensation down her spine.

When the winning team had been announced Hannah appeared with a professional looking camera, motioning for the teams to move closer together.

"Are you okay with this, Mr. Grey?" she grinned, "or is your lawyer gonna tie us down with a gagging order?"

A wave of laughter washed over the partying crowd.

"You're probably gonna hear from them," he grumbled.

"Jeez," Hannah, all boisterous, chuckled.

"Care to smile anyway, sir?" she mocked him and Ana could feel him tensing up beside her, a side-glance at him confirming that he was glowering at Hannah.

"Cheese," Hannah giggled and released the shutter, the flashlight making Anastasia squint. When Christian's arm slid around Ana's shoulder she bit her lip and glanced up at him, all of a sudden a small smile was tugging at the corner of his notorious pout and she could tell that he didn't give a damn about the photos being taken.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Hannah stepped closer when the baking teams got down from the podium, Christian holding out a helping hand for Anastasia once again.

"Uhm, what?" His gaze darted to Hannah's fingertips that lightly brushed against his elbow, making her flinch when she noticed, pulling back her hand.

"I was wondering if you'd like to see the pictures first, sir," Hannah looked at Ana, raising her eyebrows, clearly at a loss as to how to appease a grumpy Christian.

"Just send me an email," he barely acknowledged her and looked at Anastasia instead.

But Hannah managed to win his attention when she said, "We have another surprise for you. A real S.I.P. tradition."

She looked at Ana and that mischievous glint in her eyes didn't go unnoticed.

"I see," Christian said, looking unimpressed, "and what is it?"

"Just wait and see," Hannah said cryptically and disappeared into the crowd.

Christian glanced at Ana who giggled and shrugged, "You really don't like her, hm?"

"I think she's impertinent," he said, sounding bored.

"She doesn't mean to–"

"I've told you she won't be in trouble… unless she's gonna misuse those photos."

Anastasia furrowed her brow and stared at him.

"I really think your cookies were the best, Mister Grey… uhm… Christian," Jenny cut in, trying to engage him in conversation, "Your fiancée is to be envied, a man so exceptional at doing business and a great cook, that's extremely rare to find." At least she'd spared them the 'hunky' part.

Christian frowned and inched away from her, "I have staff for this."

"How nice…," Jenny drawled while Anastasia, who was chewing on her bottom lip, gave her a bewildered look.

"Yes, really nice," he nodded, "And now I'd rather you stopped asking me personal questions, Ms. Davis," he cleared his throat, quite obviously swallowing down his irritation.

Jennifer looked thunderstruck but managed a forced smile before she tottered off on her high heels.

"Congrats on the second place, Ana," Jack's voice came from somewhere behind them. He was holding a mug of hot chocolate now, nodding his approval at Ana, utterly ignoring a huffy Christian Grey who looked beyond irritated by the staff at S.I.P..

"I see you've moved on to comfort drinking, Hyde."

Anastasia pressed her lips together, the tension between the men was palpable and made her rather uncomfortable.

"Consolation prize, Grey, but I really liked those cookies," a wry grin and a side-glance at Ana who smiled anxiously at Jack. Anything to keep the peace.

"All credit belongs to Ana, I was only assisting," Christian stated.

"I told you she's really talented. In many ways."

Christian's eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he stared at Hyde.

"Whoops, mistletoe alert," a voice from somewhere in the crowd saved Ana further embarrassment or so she thought.

Christian, surprised by the panning spotlight again, straightened and his gray gaze darted to Anastasia, looking confused when he asked, "What?"

Before she could answer, her coworkers playfully tossed a sprig of mistletoe into the air, aiming it directly at Anastasia and Christian.

"Hope you don't hold back this time," Ana was sure that it'd been Hannah screaming out to egg him on, causing the mike to screech, while the room erupted into cheers and roaring laughter as the mistletoe sailed through the air.

Anastasia's cheeks flushed as she looked at Christian, who seemed equally surprised by the unexpected turn of events.

Ana wasn't sure if it was his ambitious streak kicking in once more or merely jealousy and fear that Hyde could leapfrog him and so she watched as Christian, clearly towering over Jack, who was half a head shorter than the former, swiftly reached out and caught the mistletoe mid-air with a playful grin on his face.

That victorious grin still firmly in place, his gaze fixated on Anastasia, Christian pushed past Jack, not deigning Hyde a single glance.

"Well, I suppose we can't defy tradition," he said casually with a twinkle in his eye, his smile gentle while he inclined his head a little, causing a strand of hair to fall into his face.

Anastasia couldn't help but laugh at the lightheartedness of the moment and the cheery look on his face, her heart pounding with happiness… and anticipation.

Christian, however, hesitated, or so it would seem, when in fact he simply held back to give Ana a chance to bow out or make the first move instead, unsure if she was comfortable with the whole situation. Grinning, he turned the sprig between his fingers and Ana nodded slowly, smiling at him. Christian leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her cheek under the mistletoe that he held up over them, his free hand coming to rest on her shoulder, stroking it gently. The room filled with applause, cheers and teasing remarks from their coworkers as they shared the sweet gesture.

Ana was sure that Hannah had snapped more photos and suddenly felt relieved that Christian had decided to only kiss her cheek when all she wanted was to feel his lips on hers, to taste him, to surrender herself into his strong arms, his square jaw too tempting to touch and caress.

When they finally pulled away, she met Christian's gaze with a shy smile.

"Thank you for rescuing me," she whispered and folded her arms in front of her chest.

Christian chuckled softly, studying her features, "Anytime."

"I'd better get going now."

He looked surprised when Anastasia turned to leave the room, brushing past several coworkers, feeling their eyes on her.

And while there was still no denying that all Ana wanted was Christian and that the way she wanted him felt embarrassing, she also felt overwhelmed by the whole scene that had unfolded only moments ago.

On her way out Anastasia touched her cheek, the pads of her fingertips caressing the spot where his lips had lingered for a moment, closing her eyes as she drew in a deep breath, a mixture of joy and panic rippling through her.

Still confused why she'd left so suddenly and convinced he had not misread the signs or embarrassed her in front of her coworkers, Christian turned the corner and darted into the corridor, spotting her straight ahead walking towards the exit.

"Ana, wait," Christian hated the way how unsteady his voice sounded while he tried to close the space between them.

And while his face felt kind of numb he managed a strained smile when she stopped and turned to look at him.

"Christian?" her deep blue eyes were wide, her cheeks were flushed.

"Ana," he took her hand, glancing down at it for a moment before he looked up at her again, "I… uhm… need to tell you something…important…."

"Y-Yes?" she'd furrowed her brow, her gaze searching his face for any indications of what he was about to say and a sigh escaped her when Christian merely cupped her cheeks with his hands, his lips crashing down on hers in a most captivating, claiming kiss.

For a moment joy bubbled up inside of her and curling her fingers into the front of his soft sweater to pull him to her Ana surrendered to the bliss Christian's kiss had awakened, those walls she'd built inside to protect herself about to tumble down while he claimed her lips again and again.

But then a bolt of panic hit Anastasia.

The office.

The party.

Not here.

Not now.

And so Ana dragged herself away from him, reluctantly, to be honest, and slapped him hard across the face, pain and surprise flaring in his eyes, making him tremble for a moment. That slap as sobering as a squall of ice cold water right to the face.

"Oh my god," she gasped, staring at him, noticing how shaken he looked, "are you crazy?"

Taking another step back, breathing heavily, she willed herself to not start crying. Instead, she turned around and left.

Anastasia pressed her lips together to suppress a sob that was forming deep and heavy in her throat, she could still taste him there on her lips.

Ana's heart was pounding in her chest as she made her way towards the end of the corridor, touching her lips as if she could conserve his kiss. And as she hurried across the hall towards the exit she could not hear when Christian whispered to himself, his voice shaky, "Yes, for you."

Watching her leave, fighting the powerful urge to run after her, Christian rubbed his reddened cheek to soothe the humiliating sting her slap had left behind and hissed through gritted teeth, "Shit."

There was this muscle in his jaw that started jumping while he hoped that Ana could forgive him. But he decided to give her time now that this evening had taken on a completely different twist.

When Christian turned around to go back to his office to fetch his jacket, his heart lurched when he noticed Jennifer Davis standing by the door to the party hall, making him wonder if she had witnessed the whole scene.

A/N:

Thank you for reading my latest chapter. As always I'm looking forward to hearing from you and appreciate all your concrit, favs and follows. For those of you wondering: Don't worry, everything will turn out all right. Take care :)