What Love Gave Us
by
Ava LeBeau
Twelve
"Guess you've really pissed her off," Elliot chuckled as he handed back Christian's phone, the defeated look on his brother's face priceless.
"What the hell is wrong with her? I mean I was as good as gold… all the time," Christian glanced down at the phone in his hand, looking contrite.
"You should probably stay away from Lily for good," Elliot grinned.
"I haven't touched her in weeks… not at all ever since I'm with Ana," Christian glared at his elder brother.
"It's all over the magazines, Lily's your supposed fiancée," the elder Grey teased.
"It's not my fault, I was just tryin' to be nice and professional. After all, Lily's scraped together the pictures in time. Plus she's a good friend of the family."
"Men and women can't be 'just friends'," Elliot patted Christian's shoulder, making his brother frown again.
"Speaking of which," Christian was quick to deflect the attention from his supposed lapse, "the proposal, bro. Are you sure? I mean, it's not like Carrick asked you to step up your game, right?"
"I love her and want to be with her," Elliot said flatly, "There's never a forever thing, Christian."
"Man, who are you and what've you done with my brother?" Christian laughed huskily, "Let's face it, she won't let you near her butthole until you guys are in the middle of a capital midlife crisis."
"She's the one, no need to drag it out any longer. I want her and she wants me. Why not make it official? Before Carrick puts the screws on me," Elliot shrugged, blatantly ignoring his brother's last comment, "She's a saint."
"How boring," Christian groaned.
"Even saints have their vices," Elliot winked at his brother, whose lips curved into a wry grin.
"You're crazy," Christian stated matter-of-factly.
"For her, yes," Elliot retorted, ""What about you? Ana's an angel, you'd be a fool to let her go."
Christian licked his lips, his eyes flickering feverishly.
It was probably too early to make a decision, but Elliot was right, Anastasia was an angel. His angel.
"I want you to start with the project on Monday, E," was all he said.
Starting his own business was his top priority. Everything else came second, no matter how crazy he was about her… Anastasia Steele.
Christian glanced down at the commercial rent contract documents in his hand, a confident grin ghosted across his chiseled features.
Everything was going according to plan. Soon enough, he'd stand on his own feet.
No matter what Carrick said or thought of it.
A full display of red roses?
Probably quite over the top. Christian looked up at Andrea, asking, "What else do you suggest?"
"You could ask her out for a private lunch, sir," the assistant said softly but he could tell that she was annoyed.
Her job description hadn't mentioned a word about taking care of his private business and Andrea had every right to be annoyed, but she was a woman after all.
Christian was sure she knew what would appease Ana.
He glanced at his future personal assistant, expectantly so. Anything to prove that she was the right choice for him. He demanded utter respect and total devotion.
"Too trivial," he said, pushing the limits.
A muscle in his jaw twitched, Andrea surely was capable of coming up with something more exclusive.
But there was silence and nothing but silence.
Christian frowned, anything but pleased with her transactional skills.
A blissful afternoon of Christmas shopping. Anything to keep herself busy and distracted.
Obviously he wasn't missing her at all.
She hadn't heard from him in two days and by now she was sure that she wasn't that important to him.
That was at least what Anastasia was telling herself, all the while trying to keep a straight face and not dwell on it too much.
She wouldn't let him toy around with her heart, not him. Not any guy for that matter.
Her fingertips brushed across the soft fabric of a gray woolen sweater and she wondered if Ray would like it. Ana let her gaze wander around for a moment, stopping when she spotted a young man across the room, the spitting image of Christian.
But it wasn't him, it wasn't Christian.
She watched as the guy kissed who she supposed was his girlfriend, or wife even, knowing that Christian didn't care for her like the guy did for his better half.
Not anymore.
A lump formed in her throat but she swallowed hard to fight it back down. Maybe, she mused, she was being overdramatic. But still Ana'd give a lot to know if he'd loved her, fully aware she'd never know for sure.
Christian, it seemed, had forgotten her, a fact that left her wondering if she was really so unimportant.
Ana told herself that she was all alone, that no one was missing her, only to water that down to feeling like she was all alone.
There'd always be Ray… and Kate.
She wasn't alone.
But there was someone missing.
Him.
Christian.
And it was most painful to know that they'd probably never be together again like they'd been.
However, Anastasia decided to go on with her life and not look back at what could have been.
It was only two months until she'd have finished the trainee program at S.I.P.
And while she was still hoping for a subsequent contract, Ana could clearly see herself taking on a new challenge.
Relocating to a new city perhaps? Yes, she was ready.
Smiling, Anastasia reached for the pullover and walked over to the cash desk to pay.
Ana sipped her tea and looked up at Kate, who had just returned from the kitchen with a plate of cookies in her hand.
"Where's Elliot?"
"Probably holed up in his man cave playing video games," Kate laughed, "He's pretty busy during the week at the moment and needs his time to unwind over the weekend. So, more time for the two of us," she smiled and sat back down on the sofa, holding the plate out to Ana.
"No, thanks," Ana raised her hand and shook her head.
"So…," Kate said and glanced curiously at her best friend.
Anastasia wondered whether she should tell her about Christian, but decided against it, as Kate would surely just be pissed off at him for treating Ana like this anyway, something Anastasia wanted to avoid at all cost.
In the meantime, her own anger had faded and a certain sense of sadness, but also resignation, had taken its place.
She had never fitted into his world anyway. Her, the naive girl next door and him, the up-and-coming businessman, most likely a billionaire before he reached 30.
They didn't match, she tried to convince herself, never had.
And oddly enough, Christian was inscrutable and had had a troubled past. Kate had been right, it was probably best to steer clear of him anyway.
"Actually, we wanted to make it to New York for the gala too...," an awkward silence hung over the living room for a moment but Kate recovered quickly and continued, "but E has been beyond busy preparing for the office remodel, so we canceled. Shame really, I haven't been to New York City in months," she said absently, popping a piece of cookie into her mouth, studying Ana's features as she chewed.
"We should really jet over there for Christmas shopping, Ana. What do you think?"
"I've already maxed out my credit card and actually I've got my presents all together..."
"You know, I can lend you some," Kate said casually and shrugged.
"Don't be silly," Ana looked down bashfully at the cup in her hands and shifted in her seat. Kate's financial scope had never matched hers. That had never been a problem, at least not in Kate's eyes. But Ana often felt inadequate, and right now was one of those moments, even if Kate hadn't done it on purpose.
"Anyway, office remodeling?" Anastasia asked, anything to change the subject.
"Christian has rented a number of office units, E does the planning and so he drew up some designs for him in advance. It's all pretty fancy, you know," Kate winked at Ana.
"He wants to move in right in the new year, so the schedule is pretty tight. E actually wanted to take me on a trip over Christmas, but that's probably not going to happen now. I don't mind, I mean, we can all meet up here then. You could come over... that is, if you like, of course. Or are you going to hang out with Ray?"
Anastasia was lost in thought, an office space that Christian wanted to move into soon. The final attestation had to be finished then and now, she thought, there was no longer any reason to deliberately avoid the office.
"Ana?" Kate's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Um, yes?"
"Are you spending Christmas with Ray? Or your mom?"
"Yeah, I think so, yeah. Totally, mhmm," Anastasia pressed her lips together.
"Too bad, but we can celebrate the New Year together," Kate suggested cheerfully, "E will probably go skiing anyway and I'm totally not feeling it," she chuckled.
"You know, sometimes I miss the old days when you and I lived together, Ana," Kate said, "No guys stealing your time and demanding your constant attention. Just do what you want all the time," she sighed. "Did I mention I love E to bits?" she laughed again.
"Mhmm," Anastasia nodded and drained her cup.
"The Grey boys are simply irresistible," Kate stated and Ana had to admit that she was right. Stubborn and stuck-up and whatnot but still she couldn't deny that all she wanted was Christian. No matter what.
The doorbell interrupted their thirsting over the Grey brothers and Kate got up to answer the door.
Ana set down her mug on the coffee table, she stood up and walked over to the window, picking at her cuticles for a moment.
Outside, it was already getting dark.
Christian took a deep breath as he stood outside Elliot's apartment, his heart pounding with nerves.
Initially he had planned to stop by for a moment to discuss the plans for his new office space with Elliot, but now there was another much more important reason why he was here - to see Anastasia again.
Elliot had messaged him that she was there, spending the afternoon with Kate.
It had been days since they had last spoken, since their falling out over a misunderstanding and it had left Christian rather heartbroken and unsure what to do next.
Whatever he'd come up with to initiate contact had seemed too casual or way too hypocritical and so he'd decided to let it rest for a few days.
Probably not the best idea either and Christian was fully aware of the message this may have conveyed.
But now, seeing her standing by the window as Kate led the way to the living room, all he could think about was how much he missed her.
"Ana," Christian said softly, his voice, much to Kate's and Anastasia's surprise, barely above a whisper. "It's good to see you again."
Anastasia stared at her best friend for a second who only gave a half-shrug and a wry grin before she disappeared to go find Elliot, leaving them alone in the living room.
Ana's eyes met Christian's, and for a moment, Christian thought he saw a flicker of something in them, maybe regret, maybe longing. But then she quickly composed herself and gave him a polite smile.
"It's good to see you too, Christian," her voice was cool and distant. "I hope you're doing well."
Christian nodded, trying to keep his composure as he fought the urge to pour his heart out to her right then and there. Instead, he focused on the reason he had come here in the first place.
"I wanted to discuss the plans for the office building with E," he nodded at the rolled up building plans he was holding in one of his hands.
"Also, I wanted to talk to you about something," Christian said, clearing his throat. "I know things didn't end well last time and you have every right to be upset with me, but I was hoping we… we could… maybe… make a fresh start."
Ana's expression softened slightly at his words, and she nodded slowly, feeling his steely gaze on her.
"I'd like that, Christian," Ana said quietly, her eyes searching his face for any sign of insincerity. But all she found was honesty and vulnerability in Christian's gaze.
"But I… uhm… I just need some time to… to process everything that happened between us."
Christian felt the faintest surge of hope at her words, knowing that this was his chance to make things right with her. And so, gathering all his courage, he took a step closer to her. The fact that Anastasia inched away from him didn't go unnoticed and he stopped.
"Broski, what are you doing here? It is already dark outside," Elliot's mocking voice cut through the oppressing silence that had ensued. Grinning, the elder Grey walked into the living room.
"I'm not interrupting anything here, right?" he'd arched his eyebrow, still grinning, his gaze wandering back and forth between his brother and Anastasia.
"No, not at all," Ana piped and folded her arms in front of her chest, "I'd better get going anyway. Wouldn't want to miss the bus…," she pressed her lips together and looked down at her feet.
"You know, I could give you a ride," Christian's suggestion hadn't surprised Ana but also she had dreaded it.
She was still determined to keep her distance, to take it slow this time.
Anastasia watched as Christian was quick to shove the rolled-up plans into Elliot's hand, "It's cold outside, snowing, you know."
"I think I'll manage," Anastasia looked up at him, trying hard to sound resolute.
"Alright, well, at least let me walk you to the bus stop then," of course, he wouldn't give in.
After a moment of hesitation she shrugged and said, "If you like," not waiting for his answer she walked past him to fetch her coat.
"There are a lot of things I want to talk to you about, Ana. Things I've been thinking about… changes I want to make."
She'd allowed him to take her hand as they strolled past urban villas towards the bus stop and she could feel that a sense of relief and joy seemed to have washed over him, making him seem less tense.
Hundreds of snowflakes were dancing in the warm light of the street lamps and from time to time he had stolen glances at Anastasia, who seemed to be lost in thoughts.
When they arrived at the bus stop, Christian took both of her hands in his, his heart racing in his chest. Christian knew he had to tread carefully, to respect Ana's need for space and time.
"Thank you for letting me walk you, Ana," Christian said softly, carefully searching her face. "I really appreciate it."
Ana smiled warmly at him, a hint of vulnerability shining through her eyes.
"Listen, I could pop in at your place on my way home. I need to talk through the plans with Elliot but it won't take long. It's… I mean, we could–"
"I'm glad we're taking things slow this time," Anastasia said stiffly. "I think it's what we both need."
Christian nodded and forced a strained smile, a smile that wouldn't reach his eyes. He knew that rebuilding all the trust that was lost would take time and effort, but he was willing to do whatever it took to win Anastasia back.
Before he could say anything else, Ana surprised him by going up on her tip-toes, leaning in to press a soft kiss on his cheek.
"Goodnight, Christian," Ana said softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, stepping back with a shy smile while the bus approached.
"Goodnight, Ana," Christian replied, holding out his hand to help her to get onto the bus. As he watched the bus take off, soon enough turning a corner, Christian was confident that this was just the beginning of their journey together. And he couldn't help but feel hopeful for the future - a future where he could finally tell Anastasia how much he really cared for her.
The bus had left only minutes ago but he was already missing her.
As he walked back to Elliot's place, he pulled out his phone and dialed Anastasia's number. When she didn't answer, Christian shot a quick glance at the display, slowing down his pace, wondering if he had no signal.
A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth when he realized that Ana had sent him straight to her mailbox. Christian cleared his throat before he left his message for her.
'Ana, it's my parents' charity ball next Friday. And I'd like to invite you. As my plus one… my date. I want you to meet my family. Andrea will send you all the details and the official invitation. It was nice seeing you again tonight. You have a good night. Sleep tight, I'm thinking of you.'
Anastasia smiled to herself, having listened to his message for the fifth time now. Christian wanted her to be his date for the Charity Ball, wanted her to meet his family.
Looking down at the phone in her hand she wondered what to wear to such an event.
Just like Christian's week, hers had been busy with meetings and final consultation with regards to the project. And so it seemed to Ana like they'd only met yesterday, a fact she only realized when she received a message from a withheld number on Thursday evening.
Mr Grey's limousine will be there to pick you up tomorrow at 6 pm.
The announcement was followed by another. It held a schedule of appointments Christian or, more likely, his PA had arranged for Anastasia throughout the day.
She wondered if Jack would let her leave early tomorrow. It was Friday after all.
But he'd been nervous the whole week, apparently he'd tanked the first pitches and now he was worried that they wouldn't be able to win more investors for their cause. It was one of those times when Jack became most needy, clingy almost.
But surely, he'd understand, right?