For the next week, neither Matthew nor Alfred went out at night. Alfred's sleep schedule was still irregular and he still consumed ungodly amounts of caffeine, but Matthew was pleased that he wasn't annoying in the mornings anymore. Or rather, whenever Alfred's 'mornings' were. Alfred started sleeping into lunchtime whenever he could, which was something he'd never done before. He didn't acknowledge the change in routine, so neither did Matthew.

A week later, Alfred had more or less gotten back to normal in terms of personality. He didn't go back out at night but Matthew knew he wanted to. Matthew could see his brother's unrest whenever the Trail Killer was brought up on the news and Matthew always knew when Alfred was looking at something about it on his phone. It couldn't be healthy and Alfred's eyes were always bloodshot. He was constantly consuming any discussion of the Trail Killer he could find and was completely unaware of how snappy and unpleasant it was making him.

And that wouldn't have affected Matthew too much if Alfred wasn't home more often than not. It was like he never left the house anymore. More often or not Alfred was hiding in his room, where at least Matthew wouldn't constantly be subject to his irate brother. But for some reason, Alfred's behaviour and attitude still annoyed him. It made him itch with the urge to do something to harm his brother again, to get back at him just so he felt in control again.

But he didn't want to take the extreme route first, so Matthew decided he'd confront Alfred about it. Then one night Alfred said he wasn't having dinner at home because he was going out. Matthew was more than happy about that, finally having the house to himself meant he could watch whatever he wanted on TV and sit in the living room while on his phone in a completely silent house. Opposed to hiding in his room like he had been lately to get some peace of mind. Exciting stuff, he knew.

So Alfred left and Matthew sat in the middle of the couch as he ate his dinner and watched TV about the Trail Killer while browsing forums about the Trail Killer on his phone. Did it make him a narcissist? He was just honestly really interested in what the public's perception of him was. Obsessively interested. It was all too amusing to him. Matthew was nobody while the Trail Killer was almost a celebrity, despite no one actually knowing much about the criminal. Leaving everything to entertaining speculation.

Even weeks later, everyone was still talking about Natalya and what happened that night. The chatter didn't settle at all. People didn't like that the killings were creeping out of the park and into the city. The general consensus was that nobody felt safe now as a blanket of paranoia swept over the city. Lovino died just on the border of the park so it was a grey area if it was to be considered to be in the park or not. But everyone agreed that murder was the Trail Killer even if it wasn't strictly in the park.

But for Natalya, there was no grey area for the location she was found. She was out of the park and there was still a hot ongoing debate if it was the Trail Killer or a copycat. The police's initial statement was vague yet urging caution did not stop the debate at all.

He really should add something to the debate. As the Trail Killer. Just to see what happens and give the public something new to fuss over. That was an idea to consider...

Maybe the first step would be to give himself a brand. An M.O. A signature. Something that would stop copycats from claiming his work and make it easier for the police to come to the obvious conclusion of who the Trail Killer was responsible for killing.

Matthew was consuming every piece of entertaining knowledge he could when the opening of the front door made him jolt. Alfred stormed in, slamming the door behind him, the resulting clatter reverberating through Matthew's entire body. He willed away the tension in his body as he relaxed back onto the couch.

"You're back early," Matthew said, knowing, hoping that in this state Alfred would be less concerned with putting up a facade and more likely to actually share details.

"Yeah, well, fucking Ivan was there," Alfred spat as he dug through the fridge and pulled out the dinner Matthew had made, all while continuing to rant to himself.

"Him and his stupid pleasant face, just smiling is so gross. Like, couldn't he just fucking, I don't know? Not show up for once? Does he have to come to every fucking friend event we have-?"

Matthew knew of Ivan and Alfred's weird frenemy relationship, but he knew this reaction was too extreme. For Alfred to be getting food and with how long he'd been gone - which wasn't long at all - Matthew figured Alfred had shown up, saw Ivan and immediately left.

"Why was Ivan there a problem?"

From what Matthew could pick up, the only problem was Alfred saw Ivan, which was a stupid reason to be upset and an even more stupid reason to leave. Alfred had told him before that he enjoyed hanging out with Ivan, and even if he didn't always like him Alfred couldn't deny he was entertaining.

"Tch, it's not," Alfred said bitterly, tapping the counter with irritation as he waited for the microwave to finish. "It's def-in-ite-ly not."

"You're acting like it's a problem."

"It's not a problem!" Alfred seethed. "I mean, good for him! He's all fine and dandy! Like his sister isn't even dead. Like she didn't fucking die in some dusty alleyway-!"

Hmm, there it is. Matthew sighed and turned off the TV, still showing an extended program about such current affairs. Probably not helpful right now and it could distract Alfred from sharing information.

"-How can he just pretend that he's fine! He shouldn't be fine! He should be fucked up! But then he looks like he doesn't even fucking care because here he is hanging out with everyone. And guess what? He was fine at the funeral too. The sick fuck almost looked happy to be there. Like too happy. It was creepy. I couldn't even be near him. I haven't even spoken to him since before- uh, I- I won't fucking speak to him again if he's just going to act weird-"

So Alfred was upset that Ivan wasn't showing he was upset. Matthew rubbed a hand down his tired face as he thought about what his brother had in common with Ivan. Again with the facade. Then a bitter thought entered his mind. Why was Alfred upset and dictating how Ivan should act when Matthew knew damn well that Alfred wouldn't be too upset if Matthew was removed from his life, through violent circumstances or not. Why was Alfred upset about someone else's sibling but not ever concerned about his own?!

So Matthew let Alfred rant, exhausted at the prospect that this was all his sibling used him for. At least if it made Alfred feel better he might not act so weird all the time.

The microwave beeping cut off Alfred's ranting and he visibly withdrew within himself as he pulled the plate out with a shaky hand. Matthew moved over on the couch, expecting Alfred to sit down but instead his brother just stared at his plate.

"I'm gonna eat in my room, actually," he muttered after a moment before ducking into his room before Matthew could say anything otherwise. They'd agreed they'd never eat in their rooms and always shared their dinners. Now Alfred was breaking that one rule!

Matthew was frozen on the couch and ignored the way Alfred's door echoed around the quiet house. Was he always destined to be left alone in the quiet?

He wasn't hungry anymore but the frustration that made him want to punish Alfred again was swelling. He restrained himself from showing it on his face and remembered he decided on a confrontation first.

Matthew's hands trembled as he put his plate down on the coffee table, finding the clink much too loud. Why was he upset? All he knew was that Alfred caused it and now the trajectory of his night had changed.

It felt like there was only one thing he could do to ease the upset eating him up. And that would be to sink a knife into the first available victim. It didn't even need to be someone Alfred knew.

No. Confrontation first. He couldn't let Alfred do what he wanted. He'd never overtly, explicitly confronted Alfred before and the idea made him jittery. With his turbulent emotions came vindication and exhilaration. His reluctance had eroded and the need for confrontation, to blame and use guilt to punish those who had wronged him was too much to not give in. With a resolved clatter he put his phone down on the table and stalked straight to Alfred's door.

"Alfred," he knocked sharply, "we agreed we wouldn't eat in our rooms."

"It's just one time!" Alfred's reply was muffled by a mouthful of dinner. "Leave me alone!"

Matthew balled his fists and grit his teeth as he thought about what to say, what angle to take to lead this where he wanted to go.

"You say it's 'one time' but then you'll keep doing it and your room will start to smell-"

"Who cares? It's my room!"

Matthew really felt like pounding on the door in response to his brother's stubbornness. Could Alfred see he was just trying to help him?

Oh... that could work.

Matthew took a big breath in and slowly let it out, willing his anger to flow out and loosen his body.

"Alfred, I'm just worried about you," Matthew's tone was pleading and insistent. He recalled feeling obliged to insist just like this before he snapped. Always begging others to let him in and help. It took a lot out of him, but at least it was perfect practice for getting what he wanted now. "Please talk to me, you've gone through a lot and it makes me upset that you're shutting me out."

Now the ball was in Alfred's court and it would make him look bad if he, metaphorically speaking, ignored it or threw the ball away.

Alfred groaned but Matthew didn't hear him move.

"Look - I'm fine, alright? I don't mean to be angry but it's just Ivan, y'know?" Alfred laughed like that was all the explanation needed. "I promise I won't eat in my room again but come on, it's one time! It's not that I'm shutting you out or anything, I just want to be alone. You like being alone! Is that so bad?"

"Yes. You've been acting weird all week and I'm worried. You've never left early when you're hanging out with your friends before-"

"It's not that I bailed on them," Alfred muttered.

"They've probably noticed that you're acting weird too."

"I doubt it. They didn't see me tonight."

So Alfred left before they could see him because he saw Ivan was there.

"Does Ivan know you found his sister?" Matthew asked perceptively.

"No."

"You should tell him."

"I don't want to tell him," Alfred said too fast.

"Why not?"

Alfred's phone started ringing but stopped just as quickly. But Matthew didn't hear voices, so Alfred must've declined the call. His friends must be worried considering it was so out of character for Alfred to seemingly not show up, especially without giving an excuse.

"Ugh, again? Just fuck off," he mumbled and Matthew generously ignored it.

"He's your friend, eh? Why won't you tell him?"

"Cus it'd just be a big thing and I don't really wanna open a can of worms right now."

"But it might make you feel better and stop being so weird. You need to stop shutting people out."

"And what? You think I'm shutting Ivan out? There's no point in telling him! Not telling him doesn't mean I'm shutting him out or ignoring him! I'm not a shit friend. I went to the funeral to show my support and so clearly I'm not an asshole but if you wanna talk about who's actually shutting out who then obviously it's Ivan because he's just pretending everything is fine and talking like normal to everyone and it's just so fucking sick!"

Alfred was breathing like he just ran a marathon and his voice sounded like it was splitting and his words were coming out in awkward bursts like he was struggling to put everything together but he still wasn't finished.

"And don't tell me I should tell him because either he doesn't react at all because apparently your friends and family dying is just a thing, it is what it is or fucking whatever but if he does react then everything he's been bottling up will come out and that'll be a shitshow because do you know how angry and feral he can get? He's a big fucking child and I don't think he can handle big emotions and you'd think this would be the biggest urgh- 'upset' he'd ever have in his lifetime so how the fuck am I supposed to help him? What, am I supposed to tell him I found her so he can blame me and take it all out on me? I mean, that's an idea but I wouldn't know what to do after once his upsetness is gone? Well, fuck, it'll never be gone but I mean once there's nothing left to yell about. Because I know what it's like. It starts with wanting to make your fingers bleed by ripping apart everything you can touch but then after the energy is gone you're dead inside and out and thinking is too hard because you can only think about being upset and wanting revenge but you realise you can't get revenge because there's nothing you can do."

Alfred's breathing was calming and his voice was strained from yelling, breaking so the last part came out almost like a whisper that Matthew had to strain to hear.

"What if he blames himself because I'm pretty sure he was meant to be cleaning out that storage unit too... what if he gets so upset that he can only think about doing things... things that aren't helpful at all and he knows it but sometimes it's too tempting to ignore... maybe it would be best if he blamed me then. At least-"

Alfred finally stopped and Matthew couldn't hear him breathing anymore.

Well, he got the confrontation he wanted. He got a lot of information and more than enough insight into Alfred's thick head. He didn't know what to do with it. Some parts he didn't know what to make of it but his problem seemed mostly straightforward. He didn't want to tell Ivan because he was scared that it would somehow break his friend. Matthew didn't understand how exactly Ivan would become more upset if he learnt that Alfred was there but it was certainly more than he bargained for when he sought to kill someone for Alfred to find.

Only time would tell how this played out but in the meantime, Alfred's haggard breathing picked right back up and Matthew could tell he was sobbing. Matthew was apathetic to this and obligation said he should try to comfort Alfred but he knew he'd just get shut out again unless he pushed and pushed.

He was just content to know that Alfred could be pushed to open up and if Matthew truly wished he'd get what he wanted.

But... did that mean in the past... he didn't push hard enough? Before everything when he really wanted his brother to care about him... did he just not try hard enough?

He detested that idea. It sat inside him wrong and made him feel all sorts of wrath that demanded he take his anger out on someone.

"I'm sorry Alfred. You can eat in your room."

He left his brother alone. That's what Matthew would want if he was shut in and crying in his room. It was a kindness that Alfred wouldn't recognise because he was fundamentally different but it was all Matthew could really do when his stubborn brother wouldn't let him do anything else.

He needed to get Alfred off of his mind and he needed to carve himself a brand. Two birds and one switchblade.