AN: Another 1000 views. Another meterstone passed. I gotta say that was super quick considering the last one was back in Chapter 14. It's only thanks to all you viewers out there! Thanks for reading my story. You da best! (^_^)
Next, the answer to last week's puzzle was math related. There are approximately 20 9's between 1 and 100 (9,19,29,39,49,59,69,79,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99). Congrats to Laner for being the first to guess it correctly. Enjoy your cookie and your acknowledgement.
(::)
I'm gonna have to come up with harder puzzles if I want to keep my precious Victory Cookies...
Puzzle: What is at the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every race?
Disclaimer: I don't own Minecraft. If I did, I'd add Griefer Repellent.
Beta: TheWritingReader
Chapter 18
Toll
[Noman]
Okay, Noman. Just act natural. Spark is right behind you…I think.
I extended my arms and waved them in every direction in an attempt to locate my black-clad companion. I immediately received another hard flick to the forehead by an invisible force and earned odd looks from fellow Crafters as they believed I'd gone mad.
"Oh…just swatting at some bees!" I explained nervously to draw off attention. I then turned to stare at the ground to avoid further embarrassing myself.
Piss-flaps! Why can't she be visible with me? Doesn't she realize how nervous I am?
I was standing in line with several dozen Crafters as we were slowly ushered towards the gates of Ringwood. The sun was beginning to rise and expel the inky tendrils of night.
The Kingdom was beyond massive. Small Inns and huts lied on the outskirts of the cobblestone and wood walls. The wall itself was several stories high and had spaces of glass interspersed with Crafters watching us pool in. Various banners depicting a hand holding a golden apple in front of a green pasture were plastered along the toll line. Besides them were signs warning Crafters to not light fires while inside the Kingdom.
'WARNING: EXCESSIVE USE OF FLAMES WILL BE PUNISHED!'
There were merchants selling wares to passing Crafters from makeshift stands. Armored horses trotted past carrying refined looking warriors. Beautiful and opulent looking women strode ahead without sparing so much as a glance at me. Cattle and sheep were yanked through the line by leads as a group of Crafters tried to contain them.
The most people I'd seen at a time had been three before getting to Ringwood. But with the population I was witnessing, I felt overwhelmed.
And I'm not even in the city.
I returned my attention to the gates I was approaching and gulped nervously. There were three gates that lead through the wall and all of them were guarded and operated by burly looking chaps with green leather helmets and iron armor.
Each gate had a toll that led towards an unknown room with an iron door. I watched as Crafters ahead of me walked up to the toll, either flashing some piece of paper or paying an emerald, before entering the unknown room.
I glanced at the surrounding guards. They were all fingering their swords at their belts, as if they expected any of the Crafters to become violent at the drop of a hat.
"GRIEFER!"
One of the toll guards pointed and shouted at a raven-haired Crafter and the guards immediately took action. They drew their iron swords and cornered him before he had the chance to flee.
In response, the raven-haired Crafter took out some red and white blocks with big black letters that spelled…
TNT!?
"He has explosives! Take him down!" One of the guards roared before they all piled on top of the 'Griefer.' There was a brief struggle before a puff of smoke and an explosion of gear leaked through the crowd of guards.
"Griefer neutralized." One of them commented as they all sheathed their swords before returning to their posts. The remaining gear that burst from the Griefer was collected and taken to the toll room.
I didn't really know how to react to what I just saw. A Crafter was just killed in front of me, but he was obviously threatening the safety of other people. It was similar to how I dispatched the cultists trying to kill me. They were a threat to be dealt with.
The only difference was that I couldn't shake the guilt while the surrounding guards treated it as a normal occurrence.
Hang on…is Spark being invisible for this toll…legal?
When there were only three more Crafters between me and the toll, I waved over one of the guards. He rolled his eyes before walking up to me.
"How can I help, citizen?" He asked dully.
"Hi, um…just wondering…hypothetically…what would you do to someone who…say…tried to sneak in without paying a toll?" An invisible force that I assumed to be Spark's foot connected with my shin and I stifled a yelp of pain.
The guard switched from boredom to suspicion as he fixed me with an accusing stare. "Well, hypothetically speaking, we would apprehend the Crafter trying to sneak in, as well as any accomplices," He narrowed his eyes at me. "And hypothetically have them convicted and jailed for a minimum of 10 years."
"Well it's a good thing that isn't happening! Ha…Ha…" I laughed nervously as more invisible kicks struck my shins. Hopefully, the guard would ignore my tears of pain.
The guard took another step towards me as he scrutinized my features. I was beginning to break out in a cold sweat and my eyes were darting to avoid undue eye contact.
Oh Notch, I'm bad at this! Can guards smell fear? He's suspicious of me now! But I can't just sell out Spark! I gave my word.
Okay just remain calm and don't do anything to draw anymore attention.
"Why is everyone looking at me!?" I blurted out.
As expected, every guard and nearby Crafter who weren't already looking at me turned to stare with looks ranging from curiosity to tense suspicion. A few guards even drew their swords.
Darnit! I internally cursed as Spark's invisible hand clamped over my mouth to shut me up.
"Next!" Called the toll guard. "Next in line!"
Before any of the guards could get closer, I felt an invisible force shove me roughly towards the center toll gate. A few wary guards followed with their hands at their swords and I worried that I would soon be arrested.
When I got up to the toll window, the toll guard looked at me with disinterest. "First-time visitor or return visitor?" He asked as he took out a book.
What did he just say? I was distracted by the swords at the guards' belts.
"What?" I asked dumbly. My mouth felt dry and my vision started to spin as my anxiety increased.
"Ugh, a Jibberman. Just what I needed…" The toll guard muttered in aggravation as he tried to repeat himself more slowly. "Is this your first time here?"
I tried to reply, but the words caught in my throat. My mouth felt dry and his words sounded so far away. Wake up, stupid!
Suddenly, a felt two invisible hands grasp my head and forcibly nod it up and down in agreement.
The toll guard sighed in relief. "Good, you can understand me at least." He jotted something down in his book before he regarded me again. "You have the toll payment?"
Once again, Spark nodded my head as I fumbled at my belt for the emerald. It slipped between my clammy hands before I picked it up and presented it to the toll guard. The other guards watching me began to relax as my unusual attitude looked more like nervousness than a threat.
"Alright, next I'll need your number." The toll guard stated as he placed the emerald in a chest before withdrawing a slip of paper and taking it to a metal object that looked similar to an anvil.
As more of the guards left me alone, I was finally able to voice words. "Why do you need my number?"
"For the records." He answered lazily. "Ringwood keeps track of every citizen's number. It's required for purchasing property, applying for jobs, and to check population growth."
"I see…" As the toll guard worked at the anvil, I reflected upon things.
I was the Billionth: A Crafter intended to protect Minecraftia and everyone in it.
I should be able to speak my number with pride.
And yet, I had no idea what I was even supposed to do. I had no idea what 'great evil' was supposed to arise or when. All I knew was that my mission started at the Crystal Catacombs.
What have I really done of worth? What if word gets out that I'm supposed to be some kind of heroic savior?
The people would be expecting some kind of strong confident Crafter…
And they'd be stuck with me.
I can only imagine how disappointed they would feel.
"Sir? Your number?" The toll guard asked as he returned with the slip of paper and opened book.
"Well, um…you know the number one billion?" I asked hesitantly.
The people can't know it's me. Not until I've done some good.
"Just subtract a one from it…" I finished as I looked down. I thought I felt an invisible grip tighten around my shoulder, but it left as soon as it came.
"So…999,999,999?" The toll guard chuckled as he waved over to another toll guard behind him. "Hey, Stuart. You gotta see this. This guy has got to be the newest Crafter to date." The surrounding guards who overheard that soon laughed and promptly ignored me. It was like they had forgotten I was ever there.
"Really? Just short of 10-digits too." The toll guard named Stuart laughed as he regarded my face. "Then again, maybe you lucked out. A 10-digit number would draw more attention."
I couldn't understand how I 'lucked out,' but I didn't question their relaxed demeanor as the toll guard handed me a signed book and the slip of paper.
"That slip is your pass and that book is your citizenship information. You need both to enter Ringwood. So try not to lose them, newbie." That last word 'newbie' sounded similar to the word Notch hoped I wouldn't be: Newb. I still had no idea what either word meant, but the toll guard didn't use it in a hateful context. So maybe it was nothing.
"Just step through the iron door for inspection and you'll be admitted into Ringwood." The toll guard finished as he activated a lever. In response, the iron door that led to the mysterious room opened up and I hurried over to it with slip of paper and book in hand.
The room wasn't that big. It was mostly made of cobblestone except for a glass window on the right side. The only objects in it were two chests on the left side, a large chest on the right side, and another iron door on the opposite end.
The iron door shut behind me and I felt Spark's invisible hand on my shoulder signifying she was still with me.
The toll guard named Stuart walked over to the glass window and knocked on the glass to get my attention. "Alright Mr. nonupal nine. First thing you need to do is place your entire Inventory in the chest closest to the left of you. We'll search it for any dangerous materials and then return everything to you in the other left chest."
I turned my attention to the chest and slowly walked up to it. I get why they need to check my Inventory, but will they consider the Severe Shield dangerous? And what about the mission book!? Notch asked me not to lose it. What if…would they confiscate it?
Once again, I began to sweat bullets as I deposited my entire Inventory into the chest. Oddly enough, any item I placed in there immediately vanished.
"The items are funneled into a hopper below and checked by guards before being placed in the return chest." Stuart explained as he noticed my concern over my items. "Trust me; we wouldn't want to steal from a newb anyway."
There was that word again. "Um…what's a newb?" I asked as I walked up to the glass window.
"Typical newb response." The guard shook his head in pity and I began to get annoyed by that word. "A newb is a Crafter who is 'new' to…well…everything. Greenhorns fresh out of the Void with little to no gear or experience."
Oh…so…Notch's hope that I wasn't a newb was wrong…but hang on. What did he expect? I just got out of the Void! How could I be experienced in anything?
"Alright, buddy. Walk up to the large chest and withdraw as many items as you can hold." Stuart said as he opened up a book and read lazily. I walked up to the chest and opened it to find it filled with dozens of [WATER BOTTLES].
Unlike previous items, the water bottles were non-stackable and quickly filled my belt and backpack. Once I collected as many as I could hold, I closed the chest and awaited further instructions.
From behind the glass, I saw Stuart flick a few pages of his book before checking the water bottle chest. He looked like he was counting the amount of empty space to verify if I really had dumped my entire Inventory.
That's smart.
Then I saw another toll guard enter the room via a ladder in the ground. He walked over to Stuart and whispered something in his ear. I watched as his face changed from bored, to intrigued, to skeptical before he glanced at me again.
He cleared his throat. "Okay…Nowhere_Man…I hear you have a fine diamond chestplate in your Inventory along with a diamond sword, an Infinity Bow, and some Notch Apples. Would you care to explain how you managed to attain such gear?"
Oh no! That gear is too good for someone like me to have. I opened my mouth to explain how Helena gave me the gear, but once again, an invisible hand clamped over my mouth.
Spark! This is gonna look suspicious! Why are you—
…Unless she's trying to tell me something.
But what could it be? Also she should really wash her hands. Blegh!
"Well sir?" Stuart urged. The hand over my mouth left and I rapidly thought of a way to explain myself out of the situation.
Maybe all I need to do is dodge the question.
"Um…are any of those materials considered dangerous?" I asked unsure.
Stuart looked uncomfortable as he tried to answer. "Well…sort of…I mean…kind of…"
Feeling braver, I instilled all the confidence I could muster into my next words. "Well is it?"
"…no." Stuart admitted as he looked away embarrassed.
"Then I'm sorry to inform you that it's none of your business." I stated politely as I deposited the water bottles back into the chest and recovered my Inventory before exiting the newly opened exit door without another word.
As I left the toll gate and took my first steps into the city, I felt Spark place a comforting hand over my shoulder.
Yes! I am smooth.
[Floyd]
The minecart ride went on for quite some time, but it ended as we came to an abrupt stop in a small dirt covered room. Still, being unaware of our location, I thought it would be prudent to try not to make any noises.
"WOOO! Let's go again!" Cobb shouted dizzily as he rocked his stationary cart back and forth.
But of course, Cobb had other plans. I couldn't help but smirk at his antics as I pulled him off the tracks. "Cobb we need to worry about getting to Ringwood right now."
"Oh, right…and then minecart ride right?" He pleaded with hopeful eyes.
"No."
"Aww. Well I'm keeping it anyway." He stated as he picked his cart off the tracks and placed it in his backpack. I did the same to mine, just in case it came in handy again. Also it seemed like a waste of iron to make it and then abandon it.
"We appear to be in some kind of dirt cave," Cobb speculated as he glanced around the room. I took out my shovel and dug out a block. Light immediately flooded the room and I expanded the hole so that we could exit.
It was nice being above-ground again. The sunlight's warmth and the relief of defeating Carys lightened my mood for once. Since getting separated from Soul and losing Silent, I was depressed and sullen. But between my resolution with Cobb and Ringwood in sight, I finally felt happy.
Today's the day I rejoin Soul.
I could even see Ringwood from where we exited. It stood out as an immense cobblestone and wood wall. I could even spot some buildings peeking over the top.
"Nghh. I'm so hungry," Cobb stated as he held his stomach. "I'm almost out of Hunger. What about you?"
Oh right. I was so excited about getting to Ringwood I neglected to keep track of my Hunger.
Let's just see how much I—
Oh.
Zero Hunger left.
That's…something.
"Urgh!" I clutched my stomach in pain as I doubled over.
"Floyd! What's wrong now?" Cobb called out as he knelt down beside me.
I groaned as a stab of pain pierced my insides. It felt like my stomach was eating itself. Is this what happens when someone runs out of food? They…starve to death?
"Cobb, I need to eat something…anything." I begged as I tried to steady myself.
"I'm sorry, but the only edible things I have are these spider eyes." Cobb explained as he withdrew a fistful of them from his backpack. "But they only give like one corndog of Hunger and they poison you."
I ignored his words as I withdrew some of my own spider eyes from my Inventory. "Poison sucks, but we know it can't kill us. Something tells me starving is more lethal." And with that final statement, I closed my eyes and crammed the pink disgusting Mob drops down my throat and pretended they were french fries.
Really slimy and runny french fries.
Cobb followed my lead and downed his spider eyes with less revulsion. Probably because he already tasted how bad they were. Or maybe his sense of taste was so shot after regularly dieting on zombie flesh.
Either way, the familiar burning sensation of poison overtook the two of us. We lost more and more health as our hunger ticked up, but our last half heart refused to die. Like a stubborn flame, it hung on, refusing to disappear.
"First pig I see, I'm killing. Even if it has a saddle on it." Cobb said as he shakily got to his feet.
"It's good to know that you learned nothing from our experience with Carys." I stated bluntly as I stood up too.
"Hey! I learned a lot. Like my plans are awesome...and ender pearls can teleport people…and…"
He paused mid-sentence, as if he had just thought of something else.
"We…killed someone." He said it as if the thought had just occurred to him.
"Technically, the lava killed her," I explained. "But yeah I guess you can say we're killers—"
"But, it's okay as long as it's self-defense right?" Cobb interrupted while staring at me hopefully.
"What? You feeling guilty now?" I patted his shoulder reassuringly. "She was the one trying to kill us Cobb. And…and you were the one getting the crap kicked out of you. You have nothing to—"
"That's not what I'm worried about." Cobb interrupted as we walked towards Ringwood. "I'm worried about…are we…going to turn into…you know…the cult?"
"What!?" I shouted surprised as I turned on him. "We're not like those guys. We're good people. We don't hunt to 'weed out the weak.'"
"No, you don't get it." Cobb sighed as he tried to elaborate. "Every Crafter started out like us right? They all started out the same. And cultists are Crafters too. That would imply that even the two of us have a chance of turning into them."
I thought about what Cobb explained. Sure cultists were people too, or whatever, but was it really possible for anyone to turn into them. I tried picturing myself as Parker or Spring. Slaughtering people like Silent or Soul. I just couldn't imagine it.
"I don't think you need to worry about that." I stated confidently. It was one thing if I became as bloodthirsty as those cultists, but there was no way someone like Cobb would kill Crafters for any reason other than self-defense. Just one look at the guy made me realize how innocent he was. He had no desire for revenge. He just wanted to show the world that he could be just as experienced as the First 100 despite his number.
"You think so?" he asked hopefully. In response I took out Crawford's Head and showed it to Cobb. He immediately shrieked and backed away from the object.
"Yeah I don't think you have it in yourself to kill someone." I chuckled amusedly.
"Can you please get rid of that thing?" Cobb asked from behind a tree. "I don't need my normal sense to know it's creepy to carry around severed heads."
"Sure, may as well make a grave then," I called back as I dug a hole in the earth. Cobb's eyes lit up in realization as he set down his crafting table and began molding wooden planks and sticks into items. He made three signs, a new wooden sword, and a new wooden pick. Then he began to dig a hole separate from mine.
When we finished digging, Cobb placed a chest in each hole while I marked the graves with wooden headstones. "What's the second grave for?" I couldn't help but ask.
"For Mr. Piggles...and Carys." Cobb responded as he placed Mr. Piggles' saddle and lead inside his grave's chest and covered it with a stone slab. "I'm sure she won't mind sharing a grave with her beloved pig."
I nodded as I placed Crawford's Head and the glass bottles of potions he had on him in the chest. Realizing that he probably deserved more than simple trash in his grave, I placed the piece of paper that welcomed Crawford into the Endward Cult and the only potion I had left: an Awkward Potion.
Eh. An infusion of awkwardness probably won't come in handy.
Once his grave was more prominently filled, I covered it with dirt. Cobb had already placed a sign on his grave. It simply read: 'RIP Mr. Piggles and Carys. Even though you tried to kill me.'
Then Cobb threw a sign to me. "What? Why do I have to write something?" I asked.
"Because I don't know who Crawford was. I didn't even see him. So quit complaining and write something beautiful." Cobb demanded as he patted his grave.
"Ugh." I groaned as I set the sign down and lazily wrote out: Heer Lize Krawfor. Thnx 4 the Potionz.'
"Alright, done." I stated as I hurried us away from the graves.
"Wait, I didn't see what you wrote. Was it beautiful?" Cobb asked as he strained his neck to glimpse the sign.
"Oh yeah. Very, very beautiful. Poetic even. And grammatically correct if I may add." I dismissed as I walked faster toward Ringwood.
It was noon by the time we reached the gates of Ringwood. Cobb and I marveled at the amount of Crafters and resources passing in and out of the Kingdom. A long line of Crafters lead up to some type of gatekeeper and guards were stationed everywhere.
As I held our place on line, Cobb tried to make trades for food with the surrounding vendors. But two problems soon became evident. First, Cobb had absolutely no haggling talent. And second, any talent he had would be wasted seeing as how most of our gear was shit.
So we pretty much had no food and terrible gear.
Hopefully, this won't be a problem for long. Maybe Soul will be able to spare some food once we find him…if we find him.
"So, what's the plan once we get into the Kingdom?" Cobb asked as he returned with some rotten flesh he found in a nearby trashcan. The surrounding Crafters cringed in disgust when they saw us devour it. One even gave up his spot in line to dry heave by a tree.
"Well, I have a friend in the Kingdom who may be able to hook us up with food and better gear." I explained as I slowly munched on the rotten flesh in an attempt to cause more Crafters to leave the line. Cobb quickly picked up on my plan and did the same. "He can join us and together we'll start getting stronger."
With both of us eating the sickening drop, it wasn't long before we were twenty spots closer to the main gate. Everyone was covering their mouths and fleeing from the line. It was worth the Hunger effect just to see the looks on the Crafters' faces.
Finally, it was our turn.
"First-time visitor or return visitor?" The gatekeeper guard asked from behind a glass window with a book held aloft.
"First-time. Both of us." I stated hurriedly. I was eager to get past the gate and look for Soul.
"Alright, that'll be one emerald each."
…
…what?
"An emerald? But…we don't have any—"
"Then come back when you actually have them. Next!" The toll guard interrupted as he returned his attention to his book.
I couldn't believe it. There we were, so close to the Kingdom, and then we were being denied? The toll guard could care less about all the crap we had to deal with just to get to Ringwood.
No! We've come too far!
"Please sir! You don't understand! My friend is in there and he's waiting for—"
"I understand things perfectly!" The toll guard shot back as he closed his book with a snap and eyed the two of us. "You two Crafters are dirt poor and want to mooch off our hospitality. Well guess what? The price of Ringwood's protection is one emerald. Every citizen pays, so that the guards can feed their families and keep the economies of Ringwood flowing!" The toll guard began to go on a tirade as if he dealt with emerald-less Crafters all the time.
"Yes, but—"
"And if the economy fails, where would that leave us?" He interrupted as he eyed Floyd crazily.
"Um…in deep trouble?" Cobb suggested with a raised hand.
"Exactly!" The toll guard pointed to Cobb who looked happy to have answered a question correctly. "If the economy fails, chaos would rule our fair Kingdom! Looters would take from the rich and give to the less rich. Griefers and Mobs would destroy our walls! TOTAL ANARCHY!" The toll guard shouted.
It was at that time that the surrounding guards began to notice our argument. A few of them ran behind the toll window to try and pacify the toll guard with cookies and cake. The remaining guards walked up to us and tried to shunt us away from the gates.
"Wait, please! I have a friend in there waiting for me!" I shouted with increased desperation.
"Sorry buddy, but no emerald means no entry. No exceptions." One of the guards recited coldly as he pushed Floyd even harder away.
"But—
"Wait!" Cobb cried out as he held up a green gem gleaming in the sunlight. "We have an emerald he can use."
I gazed at the emerald with hopeful eyes as the guards began to back off. Cobb walked up to me and handed off the gem with a confident smile.
Wait. He's giving it to me? But then…
"But what about you Cobb?" I asked as I gripped his shoulders. The Crafter's in line were starting to shout at us as we held up the line, but I didn't care. "How will you get in?"
Cobb shrugged. "I'll think of something. Right now, you're the one with a friend in there waiting for you."
I felt tears well up in my eyes and I rushed in to hug Cobb. A few of the Crafters began booing our manly form of gratitude. ("Get a room you two!")
"Cobb…thank you." I mumbled into his shoulder to which he responded by patting my back awkwardly. "I'm really glad to have met you in Miner's Warren."
"Yeah well, so am I." He stated as he removed me from the hug. "I'll find an emerald eventually. It might take some time."
"If you're looking for emeralds," One of the red-haired guards joined our conversation at the urging of the restless Crafters in line. "There's a village to the west. You could easily scrounge up an emerald…provided you have something to trade for it."
I wiped my tears on my sweater as an idea crossed my mind. "Cobb, in three days I'll be waiting at the very center of the Kingdom, wherever that is. Meet me there and we'll be able to team up with Soul and set off on an adventure." I brimmed with happiness at the thought of us working together.
"Alright, three days from now. Got it." Cobb memorized as I turned to present my emerald to the now pacified toll guard.
As I was filling out the citizenship information, I glimpsed Cobb getting pushed away from the toll gates. He stood over by the tree line and waved to me with a wide smile as I stepped into the doorway of an Inventory check-in room. I waved back to him before the iron door shut.
Once again, we were split up. Only this time, I knew it wouldn't be for long.
[Cobb]
"I hate my conscience." I mumbled as my smile immediately dropped and I started heading west through the forest.
Yeah, it was the decent thing to do and I wouldn't have done things any differently.
But damn! Doing the right thing can really screw you over!
Now I'm once again on my own, heading off to God-knows-where to find another emerald.
And did I mention I have a three day time limit?
Just perfect. And here I was hoping to actually get some sleep within the safety of a Kingdom.
But nope. Just more walking. If only there were some tracks I could ride my minecart and make the journey a little bit more enjoyable.
Heart: You did a good thing Cobb. Don't ever forget that. Floyd looked so happy.
Yeah, it did feel good to give him that emerald. I admitted in my mind. But my mind had its own opinion.
Brain: You also did a stupid thing Cobb. You don't even know where this western village is and you have three days to find it. Talk about poor choices.
Well what would you have done brainiac?
Brain: Brainiac. How witty. Well if it were up to me, I would have kept my mouth shut about the emerald and gone to the village with Floyd, as a team, to get more emeralds.
That…isn't actually a bad idea…Damnit brain! Where were these ideas earlier!?
Brain: They were taking a back-seat to your impulsive decisions.
Stomach: Regardless, we need to find better food. Eating this much rotten flesh can't be healthy. There was a reason it was in the trash!
Bladder: Aren't we forgetting something important?
Brain: Bladder? Hey it's been a while. How are things?
Bladder: Meh. So-so. I was a little disappointed the cafeteria was out of chicken nuggets again. But more importantly, it's been one week!
One week for what?
Lungs: *Sigh*
Heart: Oh right! How could I forget? It's been one week since Cobb spawned into existence!
Wait, really?
Brain: Yeah congrats on not dying. And you literally could have died in sooooo many ways.
Liver: It's quite an accomplishment.
Brain: Liver. You're ruining the moment like you always do.
Liver: Why can't you be nice to me!? *sob* *sob*
Brain: I don't know. Why don't you cry some more and maybe I'll feel something close to pity.
Heart: Lungs, help me separate these two. I don't want any fighting when we should be celebrating our continued existence.
Lungs: *Sigh*
Brain: Hey guys guess who I am! 'I hate being so depressed. I'm having a bad day so everyone should forget about themselves and feel sorry for me! Brain is picking on me again. I wish I were as confident and handsome as him.'
Liver: *SOB* *SOB* WAHHHHH!
Brain: 'WAHHHHH!'
Heart: Brain! That's not funny!
Stomach: Pft! It is a little funny.
Brain: Aw yeah! Brain: Master of comedy.
Hey, not that I don't enjoy listening to you guys argue but…how do I make your voices go away?
Brain: Oh I see. You don't want to talk to us anymore do you?
Liver: He wants to get rid of me too! WAHHHHH!
Brain: Oh my God, someone shut him up!
Lungs: *Sigh*
Liver: *Sniff* You…really mean that Lungs?
Lungs: *Sigh*
Liver: Thanks Lungs. *Sniff* You're a true friend.
Whoa, what did he say to him?
Stomach: He said that the hateful slurs of a few pathetic bullies are trivial in comparison to the support and encouragement of one's friends and loved ones.
Heart: And that no matter what Cobb says, we should know that he loves every one of us because we are all a part of him.
He said all that in one sigh!?
Heart: Of course. Lungs chooses his words very carefully. He never wastes his breath.
Lungs: *Sigh*
Heart: Lungs also says that if you really want our voices to disappear, then you'll have to better understand yourself.
What...what does that even mean?
Brain: Dunno. Maybe you should ask the shady gentleman standing in front of you.
Shady gentleman? I shook off my thoughts as I focused my attention on the person in front of me.
"Hello there my young friend." The mysterious man greeted in a raspy voice and a smile. "Quite a lovely day is it not?"
"Um…I guess…sure." I spoke hesitantly as I observed his appearance.
The man had a shaved head, a brown goatee, and dark rings under his eyes showing how sleep deprived he was. His wardrobe included a full set of leather armor…and nothing else. He didn't even have the underclothes that most Crafters wore under their armor. Was it possible the guy spawned as a naked man?
I shuddered at the thought as the man held out a filthy hand to shake. I eyed it with the same suspicion as I would regard an approaching creeper.
"Um…no offense…but who the hell are you?" I questioned as I took an unconscious step back from the ragged-looking stranger.
Apparently, the stranger noticed my hesitance and retracted his hand. His smile faltered for a moment before growing two sizes. "Ah! Of course, where are my manners?" The man made an exaggeratedly low bow. "I am known as TheAvoided, but my friends call me…TheAvoided!"
He slapped his knee and let out a wheezy cackle over his joke. I, for my part, remained silent until he finished.
This guy seems…off.
"But jokes aside my young friend, I couldn't help but notice your admirable display at the Southern Toll." TheAvoided stated.
"Oh! You saw that?" So is this guy a creepy stalker or…
"How could I miss it?" he praised in an oily tone. "Your selfless act for a friend. Giving up your only ticket into the impregnable Kingdom of Ringwood. Why, witnessing such sacrifice brought a tear to my eye." TheAvoided wiped a pretend tear from his eye and made an exaggerated expression of sadness.
"Okay…yeah…I'm glad you appreciated the sacrifice I made…random stranger." I replied as nicely as I could given how uncomfortable he was making me. "Well I better get moving. Bye!" I said the last part quickly as I attempted to walk around him. Instead he got in my way with his arms held out.
"Hold your horses, friend." He said in a low wheeze. "I wouldn't want you to miss out on the opportunity of a life time." He stated suggestively.
"What opportunity?" I couldn't help but ask. My curiosity was peaked.
"Hmm…" He looked me up and down. "Then again…perhaps someone as inexperienced as yourself is not ready for such a task." He said before turning an adopting a look of contemplation.
His words struck a nerve. Inexperienced as me? Yeah right! I can handle whatever it is.
"What task?" I asked eager to prove myself to a complete stranger…for some reason.
TheAvoided sneered before turning back to face me. "Oh, nothing. Just a task that only a seasoned Crafter could perform. Nothing that concerns you."
My eye twitched at his statement. "I'll have you know that I can handle anything a seasoned Crafter can…and twice as well!"
"Really? Twice as well you say?" TheAvoided looked at my skeptically before returning to his contemplative look. "Well, I suppose…you could be trustworthy enough…and after that display at the gates…"
I awaited his reply with bated breath while hopping up and down. Come on! I can do it! I can do it! I'm trustworthy! I'm capable!
He paused for a moment before letting out a sigh. "Alright, you've convinced me. I'll give you the opportunity."
Yes! He's giving me a chance…wait. How did I go from meeting a complete stranger to wanting to do him a favor in under a minute?
While I pondered, TheAvoided leaned in close. "Between you and me," he whispered in his wheezing voice, "I'm a bit of a celebrity in Ringwood." He gestured towards Ringwood's towering walls with a hiked thumb.
"Really?" I asked with a raised brow. I was surprised that anyone could mistake the man in front of me as a celebrity. His filthy leather armor and lack of visible clothes underneath made him look like garbage.
"Oh yeah." He assured as he slung an arm over my shoulder. "Everywhere I go, gua—er, Crafters—are always getting in my way. Asking for autographs or trying to get all chummy with me. It's downright pathetic."
"What exactly are you famous for?" I asked.
"That's not important." He dismissed as he steered the conversation back to his proposal. "The point is, I can't get anything done in the Kingdom with all my 'fans' swarming me. So I need a veritable nobody to do my task for me. That's where you come in."
Ouch.
"If that scene at the toll was any indication, you've never set foot in Ringwood. You're the perfect candidate to run a little errand of mine." He leered at me as he said that and I reflexively extricated myself from his grasp and took a step back.
"That's cool and all, but I can't get into Ringwood without an emerald." I explained.
And I really want to find one quickly so would you get to the point already!?
"But my young friend, you don't need an emerald to get in." TheAvoided said as he pulled out a book and a slip of paper. "All you need is the right documentation. And lucky for you, I happen to have said documentation right here."
My eyes immediately flew to the objects in his hand. "But…the guards said—"
"The guards say a lot of things." He dismissed with a wave as he brought the book and slip of paper closer to me. "In fact, part of the reason they turn Crafters away is to test their intellect. To see if they're foolish enough to relinquish an emerald or clever enough to find alternative ways inside the wall."
"No kidding?" Were the guards really trying to test Crafters? It seemed like they were simply asking for payment in exchange for their protection.
"It's all filled out, including your name." TheAvoided continued as he waved the book tantalizingly before me. "Just write in your number and it'll fool—er, get you past the guards."
"Aren't those passes supposed to be exclusive to the toll guards or something?" I asked still unsure about taking the documents.
"Please. If they were exclusive then I wouldn't have them, right?" He reasoned. "They're yours if you do me one small favor."
I mulled over my options. Option One: I turn the guy down, locate the western village, make a trade, and bring the emerald back within three days. Option Two: I accept shady guy's offer, enter the Kingdom, and do his favor within the three days before meeting back up with Floyd.
Decisions, decisions.
"I don't know, man. You seem kind of sketchy." I conceded awkwardly. "I'm not sure if I want to do a favor for—"
"Trust me, you want to be in there. The Kingdom of Ringwood has gorgeous women!"
"That's great, but that doesn't really change my mind—"
"They also have delicious food."
"Well you seem like a guy with good intentions. It's a deal!" I concluded happily as I reached for the documents. Only for TheAvoided to pull them back at the last second.
"Ah ah ah. The favor." He reminded. "First, swear that you'll do it."
"Fine. I swear."
"Swear on your life." He urged.
"I swear on my life." I promised confidently. After all, how hard could the favor be?
"Good. Now, remember this well, because I'm only going to tell you once."
I sighed as I leaned in for him to whisper his favor.
"Go to the 'Razed Bar' in the Western District and ask for Kane. Tell him he'll get his payment within the month."
Razed Bar. Western District. Kane. Payment in a month. Got it. I memorized as I nodded to the raggedy man and obtained the documents. I looked them over and scribbled down my number in the book. TheAvoided then snatched the book away and signed it before returning it to me. I noted how it glowed in the sunlight.
"And do try to relay the message within the week. I'm sure Kane's dying to hear it." TheAvoided added before he backed away towards the trees. "And use the Western Gate so none of the guards will recognize you."
"Geez, the way you make it sound…it feels like this is illegal." I couldn't help but voice my concerns despite holding the book and slip of paper in my possession.
TheAvoided leered at me once more and let out a wheezy laugh. "Illegal? Don't be absurd." Then he disappeared into the trees.
"What a nice guy. Can't believe I thought he was creepy." I stated as I followed Ringwood's wall, west. "Now I can rejoin Floyd...after I complete the favor."
It took the rest of the day to circumvent the wall and make it to the Western Gate recommended by TheAvoided. By then, nighttime was claiming the sky and the moon shone with an ethereal glow.
I worried that the guards would say something as I presented them the pass and personal information. However, aside from laughing at me for my number, they let me through. After a quick check in their Inventory search room (which I found to be super cool) I was let into the Kingdom.
And boy was it not what I was expecting.
The Western District must have been the crappy part of the Kingdom because the place looked terrible. Garbage littered the street and most of the Crafters in sight looked as shady as TheAvoided. A few were even gathered around some makeshift fires to warm themselves up.
The tall wooden buildings that lined the streets were built tightly together leaving no space in between. And some of them were beginning to crumble away like the structures at Miner's Warren.
As I walked down the street I spotted several rails that lead into buildings. Some tough looking Crafters were pushing chest carts around and glaring at me suspiciously.
Do I just have a face that naturally draws attention? I wondered as I continued walking.
Iron-clad guards were patrolling the streets like crazy, keeping an eye on any shifty suspects. That is to say everyone. I tried not to stay on their radar as I kept my head down.
So…where's the delicious food supposed to be?
Inventory (Cobb): 1 Wooden Shovel, 1 Wooden Sword, 1 Wooden Pickaxe, 1 Wooden Pickaxe {Weak}, 1 Wooden Hoe, 1 Wooden Axe, 1 Flint and Steel, 1 Fishing Rod, 1 Bow {Weak}, 26 Cobblestone, 12 Flint, 4 Coal, 8 Torches, 1 Minecart, 18 Oak Wood Planks, 2 Wooden Pressure Plates, 1 Trapdoor, 3 Oak Doors, 1 Wooden Button, 1 Clock, 37 Dirt, 2 Signs, 1 Water Bucket, 12 String, 1 Bone, 1 Glass Bottle, 1 Bowl, 1 Leather Boots, 1 Crafting Table, 5 Rotten Flesh, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Entry Pass}
Inventory (Floyd): 1 Wooden Shovel, 1 Wooden Pickaxe, 1 Iron Pickaxe, 1 Iron Sword, 1 Wooden Sword, 1 Wooden Axe, 1 Bow, 1 Flint and Steel, 1 Furnace, 1 Crafting Table, 2 Sticks, 19 Oak Wood Planks, 1 Minecart, 1 Book {Miner's Warren}, 2 Flint, 1 Coal, 2 Gunpowder, 11 String, 4 Rotten Flesh, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Entry Pass}
AN: Cue 'What could possibly go wrong?'