AN: 12,000 Views. 41 Favs. 45 Alerts. Noice!
But that's not why you're reading this top Author's Note is it? No, you're here for the riddle. Congrats to gs gaming for getting last week's puzzle. The answer: The North Pole! Enjoy your cookie and your acknowledgement.
(::)
Puzzle: A man builds a house with all four sides facing North. A bear walks past the house. What color is the bear?
Disclaimer: I don't own Minecraft. If I did, I'd add Alcohol.
Beta: Void of Shining Darkness
Chapter 36
Simple
[Wynn]
"Hey, Wynn?"
"Yes, Veronica?"
"When you were interrogating that guy, and when you fight people, you certainly enjoy going straight for the balls. Both figuratively and literally."
I coughed lightly to conceal an embarrassed sputter at her innuendo. "If you're referring to my combat style, then yes. It's a man's greatest pride and the greatest source of pain. It only makes sense to target it as a weak-point."
"Hmm, I see your point. I'll have to try that 'Wynn technique' some time. But you know what I think?" Veronica smirked suggestively. "Maybe the reason you target that lower area so much, is because you have a subconscious sexual need to get a little closer to a man's d—"
"Are you suggesting that my tactic of stabbing men in their privates is based on some…some…underlying sexual desire, expressed through the medium of violence?"
Veronica tapped her chin in thought. "Mmmm…yeah. Sounds about right."
"Sounds about wrong!"
"Uh-huh." The blonde nodded to herself. "I bet you'd be a lot less uptight if you had a little—"
"Please don't muddy my mind with your perverse thoughts." I interrupted as we continued our walk to the nightclub. "Besides, I'm not looking for a relationship."
"Maybe it's the relationship that's looking for you." She offered with a wink.
"What does that even mean?" I questioned, not in the mood for Veronica's confusing flirt-talk.
But Veronica just ignored me. "Here we are!" She cheerily exclaimed as we walked towards a stone building with the words 'The West Side' in big flashing letters. There was a line of people waiting for the bouncer, a large, muscular man, to let them inside. Some of them had that criminal look to them. "The bouncer will probably give us trouble…though I bet he'll let us in after a few seconds of the 'Wynn technique.'"
Cracking her knuckles, she took a step towards the front of the line, but I stopped her. "Wait. We should probably save hostilities until we're safely inside."
"What? Why?" The blonde withdrew her bow. "We can take that bouncer without breaking a sweat."
"I'm not saying we can't." I clarified while glancing to see if anyone heard us. "But we don't want to tip Meyrick off before we identify him. We're walking into our target's territory. Meaning we don't know how many we're facing, how many exits are in this nightclub, what other hazards we might be facing. Until we know more, we need to be discreet."
Veronica huffed before pocketing her bow again. "Fine. We'll do this the boring way." She lifted her blonde hair and stuffed it into her magenta cap, making her appear to have short hair. "Don't want them recognizing my luscious locks."
"What about your name?" I pointed at the floating white letters above her head. "We'd need a Mob Head to disguise that from—"
"Nah, that's not a problem." Veronica dismissed with a wave. "Believe it or not, most people think my title is my name. And you're not from around here so neither of us should be recognized as anything more than a pair of lovely ladies."
Right. I wasn't one of their Captains, so there was no reason to expect recognition. Honestly, it felt kind of weird not to be treated with respect by bystanders.
Though just to be on the safe side, I tucked my long hair into my green-dyed cap on the off-chance I'd be recognized.
With our minor disguises in place, we joined the line of nightclub patrons and waited our turn.
As the line slowly progressed forward, I noticed that the bouncer held a list with him. Every time a Crafter asked for permission inside, he'd check the list first before either letting them in or turning them away.
"Veronica." I whispered to the blonde as we were a few Crafters away from the bouncer. "What are we going to do if the bouncer turns us away?"
"Don't worry." Veronica whispered back with mischievously grin. "I have an awesome plan."
Instead of calming my worries, her assurance and grin made me dread whatever harebrained plan she had concocted. I sighed heavily, but trusted that she knew what she was doing.
It was finally our turn. As we walked up to the bouncer, Veronica made a grab for my hand and leaned her head on my shoulder in an affectionate way.
...What is she doing!?
"Names?" The bouncer droned on as if he had said it a million times, which he probably did.
"Uhh…really?" Veronica pointed at the names above our heads as if it was obvious.
The bouncer pulled out a book and flipped through some pages, scanning for a name that I already knew wasn't in there. "You're not on the list. Back of the line—"
"What!? Not on the list!?" Veronica questioned loudly, immediately getting the attention of every Crafter waiting on line. She also pulled me closer to her. "Wynn, dear, you made sure to call ahead and reserve us a spot, didn't you?"
'Wynn, dear?' I echoed in my mind, wondering why veronica was speaking so weirdly. Not to mention why she would put me on the spot with a question I had no idea how to play. Was I to lie? Was I to tell the truth? I didn't know.
Just as I opened my mouth to make an attempt, the blonde answered for me. "Wait a second…" She whispered to herself as if realizing something. Then she narrowed her eyes and glared at the bouncer, looking affronted. "I see what this is! This isn't about being on that list or not. You just don't want any of our kind here!"
"Your kind?" The bouncer questioned with the same mild confusion I shared.
"That's right!" Veronica shouted dramatically as she hugged me closer to her. She was certainly making a scene, attracting the interest of everyone around us. Her idea of keeping a low profile was drastically different from mine. "You and this nightclub just can't accept me and my partner's relationship!"
…
Relationship?
What is she…My eyes suddenly widened in horror as I realized what she was insinuating.
Oh no…
"Your…relationship?" The bouncer questioned, looking way more confused and a tad awkward. But that was nothing compared to what I was feeling.
Act or no act, I was sure I'd die from embarrassment if Veronica continued any further.
"Veronica..." I tried to warn her not to do it, but she was determined to play the part she set up for herself.
"Shush, Wynn, my beloved!" She stated dramatically while pressing a finger to my lips. "This nightclub is clearly against the kind of love we share!"
Her outbursts, which had already drawn a sizable crowd, followed by her recent exclamation of our 'love' earned a few shocked gasps as well as some excited squeals. There were even some sighs and 'Aww's' from onlookers that had their hearts melted by the blonde Captain's words. I tried to extricate myself from Veronica's grip but she was holding on tight, as if the idea of letting me go was pure agony.
"I never would have expected this nightclub to be anti-gay!" Veronica continued loudly, obviously stirring up the crowd. "Both me and my significant other are outraged! Outraged, I say!" She gave me a small shake, and I immediately felt a hundred pairs of eyes on me. My face was heating up so badly that I was certain it was beet red.
But my attempts at covering my face only made the situation more embarrassing. The crowd began soaking up my embarrassed expression, likening it to the tremendous 'love' me and Veronica shared.
Why must you do these things, Veronica!? I internally whined, wondering if I could die of embarrassment and just explode in a shower of gear to escape it all.
Of course, with all the romantic appealing to the crowd, Veronica achieved her true aim: making the bouncer look like the bad guy. Already I was noticing several disapproving glares being shot at the bouncer, who seemingly wouldn't let homosexuals in.
"Homophobe!" A Crafter among the crowd accused while pointing at the bouncer.
"How can you deny their love for one another!?"
"Let them in you heterosexist piece of shit!"
The bouncer looked around frantically, sweating awkwardly at the increased hostilities directed at him. "N-no! You got it all wrong!" He attempted to explain. "I didn't turn them away because they were lesbians! I turned them away…and then they…happened to…turn out to be lesbians."
"They were already in love with each other before you turned them away, insensitive prick!"
"Discrimination!"
"I'm not sure I want to frequent a heterosexist nightclub!"
"Either you let them in or we riot!"
"Let them in!"
Veronica smirked to herself and leaned back, content to watch the crowd she had so effortlessly riled up turn on the bouncer. The crowd was repeatedly chanting to let us in. I would have admired her actions if I wasn't so embarrassed.
The blonde leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Come on, Wynn. Play along or else they won't believe it."
"I…I'd rather not—"
"What's that, Wynn dearest?" Veronica asked loudly, making sure everyone could hear her. "You can speak up. Don't let the homophobe intimidate you."
At her words, the crowd stirred again. They offered comforting words to me, assuring me I could say whatever I had on my mind without fear of disapproval.
Unfortunately, the thoughts I were thinking weren't overly-romantic, but increasingly angry at the blonde who had once again put me on the spot.
"Go on, Wynn." Veronica coaxed sweetly.
I hate you.
"I…love you."
It was hesitant and weak, but the crowd just chalked that up as shyness. They all applauded our 'relationship' calling it the cutest thing, before once more turning on the bouncer. Surprisingly, Some of them were about to draw swords.
"Alright, alright!" The bouncer exclaimed, hands held up pleadingly. "They can go in! Just don't riot!"
The crowd cheered triumphantly as the bouncer stepped aside, finally permitting us entry. I wanted to get inside as quick as humanly possible, but Veronica's embrace kept me at her calm pace.
Once we were safely inside, I thought Veronica would let me go. But she was still holding me tightly in her arms. "Um…Veronica?"
"Just a few more minutes." She sighed dreamily, nestling her head on my shoulder. "I don't want to ruin the moment."
"You…certainly take your Improv seriously…" I replied with a blush, not sure how to feel about everything.
She giggled to herself. "Oh, right…Improv."
[Lenzington]
"Uhnnn…" Everything was unclear. The sounds, the sights. The only thing I could register was the stinging pain in my cheek and the cold stone bricks on which I laid…Not to mention the terrible taste in my mouth.
Then I felt a wet sensation near my lower legs.
Dear God…did I urinate in my own pants?
I thought I was past this. I am the master of my own bladder.
"Come on…wake up already…maybe I should try holding his nose and mouth closed…"
My eyes fluttered open to see that brown-haired simpleton pouring water over my body, undoubtedly trying to wake me up…after he himself hit me! The brute!
"You…hit me…" Was the first thing I said as I sat up, clutching my face in pain and resentment.
"And you tried to kill me in lava, arrow traps, and fire traps! And stole my water bucket!" He ticked off his fingers. "You're lucky I'm calling us even. Now get me out of this stronghold. No more tricks. No more traps."
"And let you inform the whole Kingdom about this place?" I scoffed at the brute's attempts to fool me. "Forgive me, but I would prefer to keep these hallowed halls discreet."
"Newsflash, asshole! I wouldn't have told anyone anything about this place! Not like I cared!" He paced the floor in front of me while glancing at his clock. "But then you tried to kill me. That I care about!"
I narrowed my eyes. He did not scare me. I knew the only way out and he obviously had someplace to be, if the amount of times he checked his clock were any indication. He needed me. And the fact he saved me from the Enderman and I was still alive only bolstered that claim.
He saved me out of necessity. Not out of heroics.
The only dilemma was how long I could stall him until his time ran out. Because if he could not escape the stronghold before his mysterious ultimatum passed, he would have no further use for me.
I needed more information on him. And more time.
So I quickly ignored the pain in my cheek, brushed off whatever minor dirt had accumulated on my attire, and adopted a puzzled look. "Apologies, Cobbert. I am a little turned around after our skirmishes. I need a moment to get my bearings."
Cobbert frowned before taking a step back. "Then bear away. But if you try something again, I'll show you how terrifying a fishing rod can be." He tapped the tool at his belt forebodingly before leaning against a nearby wall.
A fishing rod? Preposterous. Those tools can only procure fish for nourishment…
My eyes slid to his face, noting the steely resolve.
…though perhaps it would be best not to further agitate the barbarian.
For the first time since I awoke, I checked my surroundings. However, when my eyes zeroes in on the large, ornate, stone brick door, I felt all the color drain from my face.
I had made a crucial mistake.
In my haste, I had made a wrong turn, or two, or three. Comparators! Leading Cobbert to the Door…the single most important find in the entire Stronghold…such a mistake. Even a barbarian like him could see the importance of such a decorated and large door. And the multiple switches hanging off the walls—
"Alright, it's been a moment." The barbarian announced as he leaned off the wall and approached. "So where are we and how do we get out. And don't give me any of that 'follow me, friend' bullshit, alright? I want a clear way out of here. Now."
Hoppers! I cursed to myself. He will not fall for my traps again. I need another way to stall!
My eyes roved over the door and the multiple switches as the gears in my head began to turn.
Well, I have exhausted several hundred combinations…the odds that this barbarian will guess it are a three-million-six-hundred-twenty-eight-thousand-eight-hundred to one.
"Apologies, Cobbert." I began as politely as my hurt cheek could allow. "There is a straightforward way out of this Stronghold, but I fear we will not be able to cross."
"Oh, really. And why is that?" He questioned without pity. "You feeling another fake coughing fit? Or maybe there aren't enough traps between here and the exit that you can use to kill me?"
"Neither, I am afraid." I gestured to the ornate door. "Behind this door is the quickest route to exit the Stronghold."
Hopefully, I could channel all the liars of the fantasy stories I read to weave together the perfect lie and outwit the barbarian. Brains over Brawn, after all.
"The entire Stronghold is structured like a ring—a hollow sphere even—that surrounds an emergency exit at the core…along with a few unimportant rooms."
Most likely the location of Jeb's laboratory…
"After years of searching this Stronghold, I have deduced that the Door before us is the only entry into the Core Chambers. Sadly, the Door is locked by a 10-digit lever combination." I gestured to the levers hanging off the wall, numbered by signs from 0 to 50.
Cobbert looked suspicious. "If you haven't been able to open the door, how do you even know there's an emergency exit?"
Pistons! He caught that…excuse…excuse…
"Jeb was a brilliant man. He would have planned for any contingencies that could compromise the security of his most covert base. Including an emergency exit." I made up on the spot, though it had a ring of truth to it. Jeb very well could have installed an emergency exit within his lab, in case he was ever overrun by Mobs. "The traps throughout the Stronghold are testaments of his precaution."
"More like paranoia." Cobbert quipped as he gazed upon the levers. "I thought levers only worked on or off. How did he make a combination lock with 50 of them?"
I pounced on his question like a tiger on a field mouse. "That is an easily answered redstone question." Being a devoted college student for several plus years, I could not resist the chance to answer such a simple question. Some lesser minds found combination locks both tedious and complicated. HA!
"You see, Cobbert, each lever is hooked up by a trail of redstone to connect to several redstone torches." He nodded in understanding, prompting me to continue. "These torches…"
[Cobb]
"Blah, blah, blah…redstone…yap, yap, blah, bla-blah, blah, blah…repeater…yap, yap, blah, blah, drivel, drivel, drivel."
Just keep nodding, Cobb. Smile and nod.
How someone could talk so animatedly about something, yet make it sound as interesting as two rocks standing beside one another, I had no idea. If redstone was supposed to be capable of cool robots and trampoline towers and turrets, how could its explanation sound so dull?
Forget the fifty volumes of redstone engineering. Wynn could lock me in a room with Lenzington and his redstone explanations and I'd be begging for mercy after the first thirty seconds.
"Blah. Blah, blah, blah! Yap, yap…inverted…drivel, drivel, blah, blah…pistons…Blah!"
He raised his voice that time…maybe he said something interesting?
…
…Nope. False alarm.
I kept nodding whenever he paused to show I was listening when I really wasn't.
Ugh…just throw me into another lava trap! It'd be a mercy kill at this point!
I tried to keep my eyes focused on the student's tinted-glasses, but my eyelids were getting heavy.
Was this all part of his sick plan to bore me to sleep? Then abandon or kill me. Because if so, it was working.
Wish I had tinted glasses. I thought to myself bemusedly. I could close my eyes and take a nap. And Lenzington wouldn't even notice.
I wonder if they're a craftable item. Glass would probably be needed…but what about the rims? And the yellow-tint?
I wouldn't get mine yellow though. Black would be better. Like sun-glasses. Perfect for optimum visibility…in the I-can-see-you-but-you-can't-see-my-eyes kinda way.
If Wynn ever tried to lecture me, I could just sit down, don my glasses, and pretend to listen to her through a nice long nap.
Wait…I bet I could check out girls too! Yeah, I'd pretend to look somewhere else while secretly glancing out of the corner of my eye—
"Cobbert!"
"Mha…uh—what?"
Lenzington scowled lividly. "Are you listening to me!?"
"Uh…yeah…you were saying how it'd be a good idea to stare at beautiful women through your tinted glasses so they don't suspect you're leering at them like a creepy, affection-starved shut-in."
Lenzington just stared at me with his tinted lenses, his expression unreadable, as several moments of silence stretched on.
"Lucky guess." He conceded before continuing his spiel. "But the salient point my redstone elucidations show is that this Door can only be opened by correctly guessing the 10-digit combination. Jeb knows I have tried hundreds of fruitless numbers. The complexity of this lock could take years to crack."
Years!? I don't have years! I need to get out of this Stronghold now! I internally panicked. It was almost Dusk, which meant I only had a quarter of the day left to get back to the Inn. Even though today felt like the longest day ever, time was moving too fast!
"Well…maybe if we work together on the lock, we can open it!" I offered frantically. It was just guessing ten correct levers, right? How hard could it—
…
Wait…how…hard?
"I appreciate your offer, Cobbert," Lenzington commented with no real sincerity. "But redstone machinations like this one require complex-thinking to solve." Lenzington withdrew a book from his backpack and began reading numbers to himself before switching ten levers. "5-7-4-2-3-6-1-12-29-0…Another failure."
He sighed to himself while I checked the door again. Looking closely at it.
"So you see, Cobbert, even if I wanted to take you to the closest possible exit—namely the one in the Core Chambers—this Door stands as an insurmountable obstacle between us and it." He smirked to himself. "The trapped corridors are our only alternative, so we might as well—"
I held up my hand to stop him. "I…I think I can open this."
"Pardon?"
"This Door." I rapped a fist against the ornate, stone brick. "Either I'm missing something…or I think I can open this easily."
"Hilarious, Cobbert." Lenzington drawled with what I assumed was a roll of his eyes. Or at least, it sounded like he rolled his eyes behind his tinted lenses. "This is an engineer's work. Therefore, it requires an engineer's mind to solve it. And you, my unwilling companion, have the mindset of a simple neanderthal."
"Ow, the edge." I deadpanned before trying to explain myself. "Look, I can—"
"I see you still have delusions of intellect inside that empty skull of yours, so allow me to explain further." He paced in front of me, with that annoying superior tone.
If I'm right about the Door, I am so going to rub it in this egghead's face.
"Redstone is intended to make the most mundane of tasks, simple. Be it lights or…*cringe*…self-cooking furnaces…redstone makes them all simple for the benefit of the unintelligent masses.
"However, it is an engineer's job to make the simple functions of our machinations as exceedingly complicated as possible. Do you know why?"
I frowned dismally. "If I say yes do you still have to tell me?"
"It is because," he continued as if he didn't hear me, "Redstone needs to be complicated enough so that only engineers can understand it. Thus, the dim masses, having the collective brain capacity of a sack of hammers, constantly require our assistance to fix things, and we keep a secure occupation. Forever."
I thought about that for a moment. "How can you call them dim? You yourself had to steal Jeb's button-lever machine because you couldn't think up your own Redstone Fair project. And you still managed to screw it up."
"It was not stealing; It was outsourcing." He defended pointedly. "After all, why reinvent the wheel—or in this case, the button-lever device? And for the record, I could have constructed any one of my personal machinations to impress those plebeians. But the Mind-Boggler would have stood out to the judges AND Potato Tech."
"Or it would have if you didn't mess up." I countered with a smirk before returning my gaze to the Door. "So you're saying that not in a million years could I crack open this door. Because I'm a simple-minded neanderthal, right?"
"Correct." He nodded in assurance. "It is beyond your capacity."
"You sure about that?" I offered him as I reached into my backpack. "This is your last chance to take back what you said."
"Oh? And why would I retract my statement?"
"Because if I'm right about this door, and I'm seeing something you're not, then you'll be the stupid one." Lenzington was yet another Crafter who grossly underestimated others because of experience. Well, I was going to prove him wrong and break through to get to the emergency exit. Two birds, one stone.
"Then by all means, prove me wrong." He smirked smugly with folded arms, undoubtedly hoping I'd make a fool of myself.
But it was the other way around.
I pulled out my iron pick, twirled it dramatically between my fingers, and struck at the stone brick door.
*PickPickPickPickPick*
*CRACK*
The stone brick broke easily, revealing a torch lit, stone brick hallway. And just like that, the impenetrable Door just became penetrable.
"Ta-dah!" I stepped aside and smiled cheekily at Lenzington's pale face.
"I…what…you…no, NO…h-how…"
"Wow, Lenzington. You never thought to do that?" I mocked in an overly condescending voice as I widened the gap in the bricks. For some reason the stone bricks weren't dropping any items, but I was too caught up in gloating to care. "I mean, that would have been the first thing I'd have done. It's not like the thing's made from bedrock or some other unbreakable block. It's simple stone brick. Funny, right?"
"You…you…cheated…" Lenzington's fists were clenched and shaking in resentment.
"Looks like neanderthal bashing-it-in-with-brute-force was the way to go." I commented casually, rubbing in my simplicity as much as I could.
"You…just destroyed…" Lenzington took a calming breath. "Do you realize how much time and effort was spent on that Door!? Weeks…maybe even months!" He slapped a hand to his forehead. "And all the times I punched in incorrect codes—"
"Yeah, and I just opened it in under thirty seconds. Funny, right?" I pretended to look thoughtful. "Well, not funny for you. Incredible funny for me though."
Brain: You're such an asshole…I love it!
"You cannot just disrespect the Door like that!" Lenzington protested as he strode forward. "It is professional courtesy to solve the code as the engineer who built it intended!"
"Pshh. Then it's a good thing I'm not a professional." I replied as I walked through the widened opening I made.
"Wh—Wait!" The college student called out while staying on his side of the Door. "Where do you think you are going?"
I hiked up a thumb. "I'm going to find the emergency exit. But if you want to spend a hundred or so years trying to courteously open this door, be my guest."
Lenzington hovered there, slightly leaning forward, as if the Core Chambers were beckoning to him. He suspended himself between the opening I made, his curiosity and pride desperately battling one another.
"You coming or not?"
"No…Yes…No, wait…No—ahm…Yes? N-ye-no. No!...yyyyyyyes?" He crossed the Door's threshold back and forth as he internally struggled. "NGH! Curse my weaknesses…FINE!"
He took one final leap into the torch lit hallway, showing his resolve. "But only so you do not desecrate this hallowed place."
"The hallowed place that I unlocked." I corrected to which Lenzington ignored.
*fsh*
"You don't have to make scoffing sounds at me." I replied to the student's odd noise. "I was the right one after all."
"I did not make any noises…was that not you?"
*fsh*
"No. I never go 'fsh'…unless I'm fishing." I joked.
"Well, I never go 'fsh' unless I am playing a rousing game of 'Go Fish'."
*fsh*
"So…if neither of us is going 'fsh' right now, who is?"
Lenzington opened his mouth to answer, only to pause speechless. His body was shaking all over as he pointed to something I couldn't see.
"What's—YEOW!" I jumped in the air as I felt something bite me painfully in the butt. I quickly turned to see what had attacked me, as well as to see what Lenzington was pointing at AND what was making that 'fsh' sound.
*fsh*
I turned my stare downwards to see a small, writhing…thing on the floor. I had never seen anything like it before. It was small—about the size of my foot—and grey with numerous hairs all along its body, and two beady black eyes at its front. It slithered along the floor, slightly jumping as it attempted to take another bite of me.
"What the—a bug?" I questioned as I took a step back, checking my arm for any negative status effects the bug could have caused. You could never be too sure.
"Jeb, almighty!" Lenzington exclaimed in fright as he cowered behind me. "What is that disgusting parasite!?"
"What makes you think I know?" I questioned calmly after noting the bug bite had no negative effects on me. Plus, it only did half a heart of damage which was already healed up.
"Well, you are the more experienced one with these Monsters!" Lenzington argued as he kept me as a buffer between him and the bug. "I have never seen such an unpleasant looking thing in all my life!"
The bug made a few more jumps at us, hissing unpleasantly.
"Relax, Lenzington. The thing can't even jump to our height and it's the size of a fish." I withdrew my gold sword and stabbed the thing between the eyes.
*HSHK*
It died on the second swing, dropping scarce EXP and absolutely zero drops.
That was the third time I encountered a Mob not mentioned in Herobrine's book. Stickmen, Witches, and Bugs. They must have been pretty rare for him to just skip.
At least the Bug was easy to squash.
*C-CRACK*
*fsh*
"W-what was that?" Lenzington stammered as he stepped closer to me and my blade. "I think I heard another parasite!"
Sure enough, from the wall, two more Bugs came slithering towards us.
"Two more? No problem." I laughed confidently as I swung my sword to sweep them away. The Bugs tumbled back, before regaining their bearings and slithering towards us again.
*C-CRACK* *C-CRACK*
The sound of something splintering beneath me caught my attention. I suddenly fell as the stone brick floor broke, and two more Bugs came slithering out.
"Ow!" I cried out as the Bugs fastened their teeth to my arm, making me drop my sword. "These Bugs are getting on my nerves!" I slammed my arm against the floor to make the Bugs release me before kicking them down the corridor.
*C-CRACK* *C-CRACK* *C-CRACK*
*fsh* *fsh* *fsh* *fsh*
In the time it took me to pick up my sword, ten more Bugs had broken out from the stone bricks making up the corridor.
"Um…n-no problem! I got this!" I tried to sound in control as I quickly took out my water bucket and dumped its contents. The water flowed towards the cracked floor, its current too strong for the little Bugs to fight, sweeping them all away.
*C-CRACK* *C-CRACK* *C-CRACK* *C-CRACK* *C-CRACK*
The stone bricks around us began to crack apart. The floor, the walls, even the ceiling as bits of stone particles and Bugs fell on our heads. And from them, countless Bugs slithered forth. Ten, twenty, fifty! And they just kept coming! My stream of water couldn't keep them all back!
Lenzington tapped my shoulder "Cobbert, I strongly advise running for this situation."
"For once I agree!" I shouted as we fled down the corridor. Behind us I heard the whispering stampede of countless Bugs slithering after us.
"Those parasites…" Lenzington puffed as he struggled to keep up. "They…they must be the root of the ghost stories regarding this place! The…the Dormant Parasites…the Slithering Floor…M-monsters of the Earth!"
"You mean they're in the bricks!?" I realized in shock. The Bugs were literally coming out of the goddamn walls! "But this whole corridor is made out of that stuff!"
"As is the Stronghold's outer ring!" Lenzington cried out as he pushed himself to keep running. "If you were to fight them, the whole structure could splinter apart!"
Not to mention I'd probably be facing over a million of those things.
"That's crazy! If you spent years in this place, surely one of them would have tried attacking you!"
At that exclamation, Lenzington turned to glare at me. "Maybe if you had respected the Door and not shattered one of the stone bricks—!"
"That…that can't be the reason why!" I countered lamely while chancing a glance behind. The Bugs were still swarming forward, hissing furiously like a swarm of angry bees.
"Dormant Parasites!" Lenzington clarified. "Never once did I break any stone bricks! They must respond to any disturbances…and then swarm en masse!"
Brain: Ooooooh. Then, yeah, it was your fault.
Damnit, Brain, not helping! Just when I thought I knew what I was doing!
At least the Bugs were slow. Two legs were always better than a writhing mass of muscle in terms of speed and distance. Even with Lenzington's half-assed sprinting, we managed to outpace them.
Unfortunately, we were running out of corridor.
"Comparators!" Lenzington shouted as we came to a dead end made up of pure bedrock. "Trapped like rats!"
I took out my pick and futilely tried to bash open the wall, but it was no use. My pick barely made a dent in it. "Why is there even bedrock here in the first place!? I thought this stuff only existed at the lowest levels of the earth!"
Meanwhile, Lenzington ignored me as he patted the bedrock wall, searchingly. "Jeb would not construct a corridor only for it to lead to an impregnable wall. Surely there must be a switch of sorts or a secret entrance."
I joined the student in frantically searching the corridor and wall for any switch or lever or pressure plate, but consistently came up with nothing.
Meanwhile, I felt the ground shake from what I could only assume was the Bugs closing in on us. As I turned to check, I let out a manly shriek upon seeing a crashing wave of grey and silver, hissing and bristling angrily.
"Well, Lenz, looks like we'll have to—sorry, I'll have fight our way out." I corrected as I held up my fishing rod. It was my Ace-in-the-Hole, even though it wouldn't do crap against a hundred tiny Bugs. At the very least, I could probably test out my Mob Flail before I got eaten alive.
"I refuse to die like this!" He shouted as he kept searching the wall. The floor began to crack around us in response to the wave of Bugs, as several new ones spawned from the bricks, trying to attack us.
Lenzington actually withdrew his bow and began shooting the ones closest to him. "Writhing…disgusting…appalling—hold on!"
He knelt down against the cracked floor and from the corner of my eye I noticed a red flash.
"Cobbert!" He exclaimed in realization. "There is redstone wiring beneath our feet! It must be part of a secret door mechanism!"
"Then…trigger it!" I shouted in exertion as I swung at a handful of Bugs that fell from the ceiling.
Lenzington pulled up his glasses, revealing magenta eyes, before once more covering them with the tinted goggles atop his forehead. Then he pulled out a wooden button. "Keep the parasites at bay while I figure this out!"
I turned to keep the student at my back and pulled out some cobblestone, forming a barricade between us and the oncoming wave of Bugs. I ignored the handful of bugs spawning from the walls as they bit into my ankles, focusing all my effort into making the barricade.
I got it up just in time as I heard the Bugs crash into it. I hoped they couldn't climb like Spiders.
With the main threat handled, I lashed out at the Bugs nibbling on me and cast the fishing rod at them. "Mob Flail!" I called out.
However, the Bugs were too small to latch onto, easily slipping from the hook and continuing their charge towards me.
"Gah!" I shouted in pain as several more bugs jumped at me from behind, sinking their tiny teeth into my neck. "Get off!"
I slammed the back of my neck against my cobblestone barricade (doing more damage to me than the Bugs) and managed to dislodge them before pulling out my sword again. "How's that door coming along?" I called out while slashing a Bug down the middle.
"I am rushed enough as is…" Lenzington called back as he broke some of the redstone dust off the floor. Immediately, I heard a piston retract but saw no change in the bedrock door. "Hmm…not there…perhaps an Inverter?"
I slumped in exasperation but snapped out of it when I saw some Bugs slithering towards him. I raced forward, channeling the ivory-haired Captain, and skewered them all into the bedrock wall, just shy of Lenzington's face.
He yelped in fright and fell back on his ass. "That is not helping!" He shouted indignantly before getting to his feet to resume his work. He traced something unseen along the corner of the stone brick floor before placing the button at a certain spot.
I returned my attention forward only to pale in shock. The cobblestone barricade keeping the Bugs back was visibly cracking apart. The Bugs were seeping from it, slowly destroying it with their weird block breaking capabilities.
It was almost like they were possessing the cobblestone before shattering it.
With the last barrier gone, I had to think of something fast. My hands flew to my belt only to come up with the Note Block from the Inn.
…
Maybe I can appease them with music?
I placed the note block down and began repeatedly tapping it, making the sound of a bass drum.
…How do I know what a drum sounds like?
Upon hearing the drum solo, the swarm of Bugs stopped cold.
Oh god…is this actually working? I thought hopefully as I continued tapping the note block with increased energy.
The Bugs all shared glances with themselves, their beady black eyes looking searchingly at their brethren, in the ultimate awkward expression of 'what the fuck is this guy doing?' before they surged forth again.
"Gah! I was wrong!" I shouted as I abandoned the Note block and tossed some leftover cobblestone in a last ditch effort to dissuade the swarm. "Lenzington!"
*click*
I whirled to see a small gap in the bedrock wall, just big enough for a person to slip in, and then saw Lenzington at the threshold. He was pointing to a wooden button.
"Click it to enter!" He shouted before bedrock magically plugged up the gap, cutting him off.
Realizing I only had seconds before the Bugs were upon me, I put everything into my legs and rushed over to the wooden button. Please, let me get this on the first try…
*click*
The bedrock magically vanished in the same place, revealing a nervous-looking Lenzington, and I quickly dove for it just as the furious hisses seemed inches away.
…
There was nothing but silence as the angered sounds of the Mobs suddenly cut off. The bedrock had sealed itself back up through whatever engineering stuff Lenzington had done.
And now we were stuck in total darkness.
If only I had some torches…
…
Oh, yeah…
[Wynn]
The nightclub was a flurry of flashing lights, blood-pumping music, and moving bodies. A disc jockey, or DJ, was standing atop a sort of crow's nest in the center of the room, playing music discs from a wide selection. Among the songs were 'ward', 'cat', and 'chirp.'
Below the DJ's nest, was a large dance floor made up of several colors of tinted glass, below which redstone lamps were flashing. The result bathed the club in multicolored lights capable of causing epileptic seizures. But that didn't seem to bother the Crafters dancing.
There was a raised section along the sides of the room for tables and a bar which served thick and mundane potions.
However, due to bad experiences with Veronica, I decided to stay away from the bar. Not to mention I couldn't risk getting drunk when we were so close to finding the bombers.
I was waiting at one of the tables while Veronica danced and mingled, trying to identify the TNT supplier and nightclub owner, Meyrick. Once she found that information, we'd be all set to apprehend the guy.
I made sure to scope the place out, thoroughly. There were two exits: The one we came in from, and a backdoor in a far-off corner of the club. We'd have to keep an eye on both in case Meyrick tried to escape.
As for bodyguards, I counted about ten. They were all armed and seemed manageable, so long as they didn't corner us. A fight could actually be avoided if we knocked out our target and snuck him out the back door.
However, I doubted Veronica could be stealthy.
"Phew! Dancing is such a rush!" Veronica exclaimed as she flopped onto the seat across from me. "If this place is still in business after we arrest Meyrick, I'm totally coming back."
"So how goes it?" I questioned the blonde.
"Well, you better call a coroner to the dance floor because I'm pretty sure I was killing it! There was even a dance-off—"
"I meant for finding Meyrick." I chastised with a weary sigh.
"Oh, yeah, right." Veronica pointed to a window overlooking the dance floor. "I asked around, and apparently Meyrick's office is up there. He has a mop of orange hair and wears a white overcoat. Can't miss him."
I nodded to the spot she pointed. "Alright, let's go get him."
"You read my mind." Veronica grinned and withdrew her bow as we walked up the stairs to Meyrick's office.
When we came to a door, I raised a hand to politely knock, only for Veronica to kick it open.
Subtle as a rhino.
"Hey! Who the hell are you—Gwah!?" One of the Meyrick's goons standing by the door was promptly grabbed an flipped to the ground before he could finish his sentence.
"Stay down, small fry. You might keep out of jail that way." Veronica advised while my eyes zeroed in on the only other person in the room.
Mop of orange hair. White overcoat. The name Meyrick_McSouthers over his head. Definitely Meyrick.
"Meyrick, I presume? We have a few questions we'd like to ask."
"Save it for someone who's interested." Meyrick shot back with a glare.
"But Meyrick," Veronica began sweetly, her boot still pressing the goon into the floor. "I think you're interested in what we have to say. Unless you rather I turn your face into a pincushion?" She drummed her fingers on her bow.
Meyrick sneered, pulling out a golden hoe from his belt. "Just try it!"
Those words were the only invitation Veronica needed as she pulled up her bow and took several shots at the nightclub owner, her Infinity Enchantment providing her infinite ammo.
Meyrick just ducked behind his desk, letting the arrows fly by. "Goon #4! If you want your pay, get the fuck up and fight!"
At those words, the goon beneath Veronica twisted his body to unbalance her before lashing out with a kick. She dodged with a backflip while I rushed to Goon #4 and stabbed him in the chest.
The goon hissed painfully and tried to reach the sword at his belt, but Veronica was faster, shooting his hand before he could grab it.
While he was preoccupied with the pain in his hand, I shoved him back with a boot before Veronica finished with a roundhouse to the back of the head.
The blonde smirked triumphantly before her eyes widened and she raised her bow. "Wynn, behind you!"
As I whirled around, Veronica shot an arrow past my shoulder, hitting Meyrick in the eye. Although he cried out in pain, that didn't stop him striking with his golden hoe. It was hard to miss its enchanted glow as it swung through the air.
As soon as it made contact, I felt the unnatural force of a Knockback Enchantment propel me back, slamming into Veronica before being blasted out Meyrick's office window.
My Feather Falling boots helped to soften my landing on the dance floor. Veronica was less lucky, landing on a dancing couple to break her fall.
"Whoops…my bad…" The blonde apologized to the couple she crushed while I helped her to her feet.
"You dumb bitches!" Meyrick shouted from above, nursing the arrow in his eye. "You're gonna pay for crossing me! Goons #'s 1-3!" Three goons walked onto the dance floor, swords drawn. "Goons #'s 5-10!" Six more goons did the same. "Goon #11!" A large goon working the bar hopped over the counter, wielding a bucket of lava.
"Oh, good!" Veronica sighed in relief while stretching her arms. "I was worried this would be boring."
The nightclub's patrons, seeing a fight about to break out, scrambled towards the exit. It was better that way; No need to worry about collateral damage.
"Kill them!" Meyrick commanded safely from his office.
Some goons stepped forward, but then stopped abruptly, their eyes focusing in on Veronica, whose hair had slipped out from her leather cap. "B-boss! That's the Golden Pterodactyl of Daymonte!"
"Really!?" I couldn't help but groan, to which Veronica grinned cheekily.
"I don't care if she's the demon seed of Satan!" Meyrick argued with an angry-red face. "I want her dead!"
The goons nodded reluctantly before forming a circle around us.
I downed a Swiftness and Jump Boost potion before rushing towards the nearest goon. He raised his sword to attack, but I merely jumped, rolling over his back, before landing behind him. I swiped my rapier cleanly across his leg, collapsing him to the ground.
Another goon stomped towards me, his attacks sloppy yet strong, as he attempted to cleave me in half. I easily dodged each strike with my Swiftness until he tired out. Then I swept at his legs, knocking him down, and finished with an elbow to the neck.
Meanwhile, Veronica had her back to the bar as she continuously fired at the goons. Normally, archers had a set amount of arrows. But her Infinity Enchantment made that restriction irrelevant. Plus, the Power III Enchantment made her arrows far more lethal.
Those goons didn't stand a chance.
Her shots never missed a goon, and, to add insult to injury, every one of her shots followed the 'Wynn Technique', targeting the goons' weakest point.
"AIIII!"
"MY BALLS!"
"It hurts to bend over!"
The goons all cried in distress, clutching their privates while Veronica laughed happily. "That 'Wynn Technique' really works!"
"Come on you useless, bums!" Meyrick reprimanded from above, catching Veronica's attention. "She's just one—Gah!" An arrow shot by Veronica nailed him in the eye. "Same goddamn eye!"
"Why don't you come down here, Meyrick?" Veronica asked with an audacious smirk. "Fight your own battles instead of sending these sissies down here?"
Meyrick growled, trying unsuccessfully to remove the arrow from his eye. "Goon #12! Kill that bitch!"
"You can at least remember my name, boss!" Goon #12, who turned out to be the DJ, shouted from his perch in the crow's nest. He took out a bow and shot a couple of arrows at Veronica. She ducked, narrowly avoiding one, before flipping over the counter and using it as cover.
Back to me, two more goons stood shoulder to shoulder, attacking with a semblance of coordination. Even though I dodged most of them, a few managed to escape my notice, grazing me in the process. And anytime I went to stab one goon, the other would capitalize with a slash.
As I pondered how to effectively neutralize them, a noticed a shadow looming over me. I looked up just as a third goon prepared to pour lava on me.
Instead, the bucket was knocked out of his hands by one of Veronica's arrows. I rolled away as the contents engulfed the third goon, putting him in agonizing pain.
The lava's viscosity was keeping him from escaping, and I had no water to put him out. In a few seconds, he exploded into a shower of gear. Dead.
The other two goons I was facing, surged forward, attempting to catch me off guard. One of their swords struck my head, breaking my green-dyed leather helmet.
My anger flared as my ivory hair spilled out. "How dare you!" I exclaimed in fury, rushing over to the goons and jumping high over their combined sword swings before grabbing their heads and knocking them together. Their thick skulls met with a dull 'thunk' before they collapsed unconscious.
I clenched my fists, angry I couldn't punish them further for destroying the symbol of Ringwood. The cap representing my pride and joy as a Captain.
The first goon I faced tried to surprise me with my back turned, but as he swung, I effortlessly flipped over his head before air-dropping onto the center of his back, knocking the wind and fight out of him.
"Yo, Snow-Hare!" Veronica called from the bar. A flurry of arrows from the DJ's sniper position were pinning her down. "A little help here!"
Spotting the sniper's position on the crow's nest, I leapt off the downed goon onto a table and, using my Jump Boost, jumped as high as I could towards the crow's nest. I reached out my hands and caught the side railing before hoisting myself up.
The DJ turned to face me with surprise before turning his bow on me. However, archery battles at close range could never beat traditional combat. I zigzagged past his two shots before elbowing him in the gut.
He swung dazedly at me, but it was so pathetic I blocked it easily. Then I grabbed him by the back of the head and slammed it twice on the jukebox, popping the latest song out and plunging the dance club into silence.
Weakened and stunned, the DJ dizzily tried to focus on me. I grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and pushed him so that he was suspended over the nest's railing. Then I grabbed his arm and observed it to see his health.
Six Hearts.
"You'll survive the fall." I spoke confidently as I released his shirt, allowing him to plummet to the dance floor, breaking the tinted glass in the process.
I hopped down afterwards, landing smoothly with my boots, and watched Veronica incapacitate the last goon.
"Oh, come on!" Meyrick whined from above, arrow finally dislodged from his eye. "Do you two realize how difficult it is to find goons? I'm not talking about those pricey henchmen; I'm talking about dirt-cheap goons! And just look!" He gestured to all the bodies. "That's…1…4…8…12 new goons I need to hire! And you fucking killed that one!"
"That's what you get for buying them by the dozen." Veronica commented while raising her bow. "Now why don't you come on down so we can have a nice chat."
"I have a better idea." Meyrick began before whistling loudly. "Goon # 13! Front and center!"
There was a long silence before the back door slowly opened, revealing a heavily iron-armored man wearing a Zombie Mob Head to obscure his name.
"Oh? And who is this tall, muscle-bound fellah?" Veronica questioned with a hand on her hip. I was a tad more cautious, however. This new goon was different from the others, armored but with no weapon on him.
"This is goon #13." Meyrick explained with a sneer. "See, he's the cheapest of all my goons—only costs me a few hunks of rotten flesh—but is also the strongest."
"Oh, really?" Veronica grinned challengingly at the new arrival. "Well, can't say you have good business sense. Why not ask for more money, big guy?"
"Blf nzpv z ezorw klrmg, nrhh." The goon babbled incoherently. "R'ev yvvm zhprmt uli yvggvi dztvh, yfg mlylwb xzm fmwvihgzmw nv."
"Jibberman." I realized from the goon's dialogue. He hadn't been able to come up with a name for himself before the Void robbed him of his speech and mind.
Veronica just chuckled to herself, though. "You're challenging us with a Jibberman? Forget scraping the bottom of the barrel, that's pretty much the barrel."
"We'll see." Meyrick promised. "Goon #13! Take out the blonde!"
The Jibberman lumbered forward, confident enough to walk right up to Veronica. The blonde just stood her ground, grinning to herself while curiously wondering what the Jibberman could be capable of.
Once he was right in front of her, he reached in his belt and pulled out a red tulip before presenting it to her.
Veronica and I raised an eyebrow.
"No, you lunkhead! Not take her out on a date!" Meyrick slapped a hand to his face while the Jibberman slowly turned his head to face the nightclub owner. "I meant take her out as in KILL HER!"
"Sorry, #13. That's sweet and all, but I kinda have my eyes on another." Veronica apologized genuinely before jumping up and kicking the Jibberman in the neck.
However, the Jibberman didn't budge, his neck stopping Veronica's kick and causing her to fall to the ground, clutching her leg. From the expression on her face, hitting him was like hitting an iron block. And he didn't even feel that attack!
"Ls, hl sv dzmgh blf wvzw." The Jibberman growled as he stooped down and picked Veronica up by her leg. She hung upside-down, surprised by the Jibberman's strength. "Gsvm wvzw blf nfhg yv!"
With a mighty roar, he flung Veronica like a ragdoll. Her body crashed into the bar before sliding down. She coughed painfully as the Jibberman lumbered towards her again.
"Not so fast!" I called out as I lashed out at his exposed leg. However, it was the same result. It felt like I was hitting metal, and I was hurting myself more than him.
"Blf gll?" The Jibberman questioned as he turned to face me.
"That's it, #13. Kill them both. But make it slow." Meyrick wore a gleeful smile as he sat on his windowsill, kicking his feet out like a child watching a show.
This could be a problem.
Inventory (Cobb): 1 Wooden Shovel, 1 Stone Sword, 1 Golden Sword [Sharpness I, Unbreaking I]{Weak}, 1 Wooden Pickaxe, 1 Iron Pickaxe, 1 Fishing Rod {Weak}, 11 Cobblestone, 1 Coal, 20 Torches, 4 Oak Wood Planks, 1 Clock, 2 Signs, 1 Bucket, 10 String, 8 Baked Potatoes, 19 Pumpkin Pies, 33 Cookies, 1 Leather Cap, 1 Leather Tunic [Dyed Green, Unbreaking I], 1 Crafting Table, 1 Furnace, 11 Rotten Flesh, 1 Arrow, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Ringwood Entry Pass}, 1 Paper {Daymonte Temporary Entry Pass}
[EXP: 8]
AN: I liked this chapter. Once again, writing action takes up way more space than dialogue. Hope you guys enjoyed it.
It's been a while since Jibbermen were mentioned, so I decided to throw one in. And if you're confused by the dialogue, that's kinda the point of a Jibberman. But it's not based off nothing. Try running it by Atbash.
Meanwhile, Cobb encounters Silverfish, which he calls Bugs. And since he's in a Stronghold, I can assume you readers and Minecraft-players know what comes next.
Omake: Wake-Up Call
"Well…it's been a while…" Cobb said to himself after glancing at his clock. Lenzington was still knocked out from his unexpected one-hit punch, showing no signs of movement.
The fisherman sighed heavily before leaning off the wall and walking towards the downed college student. If he couldn't wake him up, he'd be stuck in the Stronghold forever. Or worse, he'd manage to escape only to get lectured, beaten, and/or learn fifty volumes worth of redstone engineering at the hands of an irate Wynn_Whispers.
"Hey…wake up…" Cobb slapped the guys face lightly, repeating the same words with increased volume. But it didn't work.
After light slapping and shouting didn't work, Cobb tried so many things to wake Lenzington up.
First, he lifted him off the ground, as high as his muscles permitted, before dropping him in order to simulate a falling sensation. Normal Sense told him that would work by startling Lenzington awake.
Instead, the college student hit the ground with a muffled crunch, possibly breaking something, and taking out a heart of health.
"…He'll heal." Cobb said to himself as Lenzington remained motionless.
Second, he took out the arrow Lenzington shot at the tripwire trap earlier, and proceeded to poke the grey-haired Crafter repeatedly.
That didn't work, but Cobb enjoyed poking him. It was strangely therapeutic.
"Asshole…trying to chuck me in lava…" He muttered conspiratorially to himself with each poke, putting more force into each one. "You're lucky I let you off with one punch..." Cobb stopped for a moment and rubbed his chin in thought. "In fact…"
Third, he fed Lenzington some rotten flesh. Not for revenge purposes of course…because that would have been petty.
"Yeah, how's that taste you jerk." Cobb said to himself as Lenzington still refused to get up. "That's for stealing my water bucket." He crammed in one more piece for good measure before moving on to his next method.
Fourth, he took out his wooden shovel and raised it high over his head.
Heart: Cobb, STOP! That isn't going to work.
Brain: Says you. Go on Cobb, hit him with the shovel.
Lungs: *Sigh*
Brain: Alright, Lungs! Get off my back.
Cobb lowered the shovel, his anger at Lenzington ebbing away. There had to be another way to wake him up.
Fifth, he took out the Note Block and set it on a wooden plank. Then he turned to address the knocked out student. "Lenzington, I have absolutely no musical talent and I have no idea how to change the tune on a Note Block. So unless you want to hear the most obnoxious rendition of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,' you'll wake up now."
Lenzington just lay there like a dead fish.
"Alright, I warned you." Cobb sighed to himself before tapping the Note Block. "TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!..."
Two-and-a-Half Earsplitting Minutes Later
*Cough* "Ow…hurt my throat…holding that last note…" Cobb coughed to himself before searching Lenzington's belt for the water bucket he stole. While he gulped down the water greedily, soothing his raw vocal chords, a thought crossed his mind.
"Maybe I should try pouring water on him…"
AN: Debated about having Cobb sing a rendition of his life, but squashed the idea when I realized I was short on time.