AN: Thanks for the feedback everybody. People really seemed to like the last chapter...and I have a feeling you might like this chapter too...maybe.
Congrats to gs gaming for getting last week's riddle. The answer: A riddle! Enjoy your cookie and your acknowledgement.
(::)
Puzzle: What question can you never answer 'yes' to?
Disclaimer: I don't own Minecraft. If I did, I'd add craftable Potions of Blindness.
Beta: Void of Shining Darkness
Chapter 38
End
[Cobb]
This…feels familiar…
Just like in the Void, falling through that portal gave me a sense of weightlessness and déjà vu. The surroundings blossomed into a thick, heavy darkness. After several seconds of falling, I wondered if I was actually back in the Void, only this time I'd be trapped forever.
However, next thing I knew I was standing on something solid. Blocks made up of onyx-black crystals, like molten shards. And I was in a small room, the walls made out of some unknown, sun bleached block.
Along the floor was the bone I dropped and Lenz' shears. As for Lenz himself, he was also there. Alive, but cowering in the corner with his head buried in his knees.
"Lenz?" I called out hesitantly. "Lenz, don't freak out, okay?"
He let out a whine mixed with a whimper as he raised his head. His glasses and goggles were up, showing that his magenta eyes were tear-stained and his expression was listless.
Taking his silence as a somewhat good sign, I reached down to pick up his shears and walked them over to him. "You fell into the portal by mistake, right? Do you know where this place is?"
Lenz just stared at me, making me wonder if he was actually processing anything I said. He looked pretty out of it. Walking through a hall of disembodied Heads and almost getting blown by a woman…er…blown up by a female…Creeper—whatever she was—would probably make anyone shell-shocked.
"Heh…heh…heheheh." Lenz began hysterically laughing to himself, his eyes still focused on me and with an expression as listless as ever.
Brain: Whelp. He's lost it. Better prep a straitjacket.
I ignored Brain—an act I was making a habit of— as I gently shook Lenz' shoulders. "Lenz…Lenz. You're freaking me out. I know you've probably gone though a lot in the past couple minutes, but I need you to…at least appear sane—"
"Heheh…heh…you…fell in as well?" He turned his listless stare to a point to the left. "But at least you…belong here."
I had no idea what he was talking about. Usually not a good sign when the supposed rational mind derails. I followed his gaze to the wall and noticed a small stairwell leading up as well as a chest. I turned back to face him, just to verify where he was looking, before I walked over to the chest.
I was expecting something of value, capable of telling me where we were. Instead I found a stack of [PUMPKINS].
"Pumpkins…of course..." I commented sarcastically as I returned them to the chest. "Why would I be expecting anything different from the owner of the lab that positions a cake button right next to the self-destruct button?"
"Jeb…" Lenz muttered with empty eyes. "How could he…?"
I turned back to look at the college student before glancing up the stairwell. "Lenz, did you check what's up this staircase?"
"All those Heads…and that woman…" Lenz continued, appearing not to have heard me.
"Uh…" I scratched my head awkwardly, thinking of what to say. I wasn't exactly a certified psychologist.
Then again, Floyd wasn't a lawyer and look how that turned out.
"Wait here, Lenz. Try and calm down a bit. Deep breaths usually help." I supplied helpfully, even though he didn't show any signs of hearing me. "Yeah…"
I walked up the stairwell, quickly finding it break on a higher level. Above me I saw the night sky…NIGHT SKY!?
Crap! It's later than I thought. I don't see the moon though so maybe I still have time. I glanced at my clock, only to do a double take when I noticed it was spinning out of control. The sun and moon whizzed around the golden disk in an erratic pattern.
I don't need Normal Sense to know that's not normal…
*UNK*
I froze at the sound. Stickm—Enderman. I wasn't quite used to the name, but whatever they were called didn't matter. They were vicious killers.
It sounded like it was above me, but I thought I could slip by it. However, when I peeked above the level the staircase climbed through, my eyes widened and I slowly and silently backtracked down the stairs.
There wasn't just one Enderman. Or two. But fifty! Fifty of those terrifying stick figures, running around a barren wasteland of that same sun bleached stone. Luckily they hadn't seen me, but I didn't feel too fortunate considering I was stranded in a hole with a questionably sane Crafter while those Mobs prowled around.
What were they even doing? I had never seen so many spawned in one place! They obviously spawned from the darkness, but I didn't think they had such a high spawn rate. After all, I didn't see a single one of the standard Mob variety; Zombies, Skeletons, Creepers. Just Endermen. And I didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.
I looked up my stairwell in the ground to get a better look at the sky. Endermen hated water, but I had stupidly forgotten to pick up my water source after I placed it fleeing those Bugs. If I couldn't find a water source to exploit their hatred of swimming, I had to wait until day broke to illuminate them into hiding.
With my clock going haywire, I'd just have to check the sky for the first signs sunlight. I would definitely be late returning to the Inn—especially since I still had no idea where I was—but at least Wynn wouldn't be able to punish me for it.
Though knowing her, she'd probably track me down to the ends of the earth just to read me those fifty volumes…or stab me. Whichever is less merciful.
As I watched the sky, I narrowed my eyes to try and pick out some stars. Wherever I was must have been close to a lit up city or something, because I couldn't see the light of any stars.
Just a pitch…black…
Void.
"Oh no." I began to panic as I backed down the stairs. Was it possible I was in the Void? Or surrounded by the Void? I didn't remember passing any sun bleached blocks before I spawned into existence. But was it possible that Jeb had built a Portal to the Void?
I had to be sure.
I hurried back down the stairs, returning to the small black-floored room and taking a moment to acknowledge the mentally iffy Lenz. "Hey, Lenz. Still listless?"
"…Why Jeb…?"
"Still listless." I took out my iron pick.
I tried mining below me, but the black-floor wasn't cracking fast enough. I had better luck on the sun bleached stone, named [END STONE], as I mined the wall and began making a tunnel down. I made sure not to dig straight down, in case of lava or some great pitfall to suddenly appear beneath me.
The later held true as one of excavated blocks revealed a wide space that opened up into an empty, black void below.
I climbed back up and tried mining in various directions through three walls. Every time, I came across a large opening of that same black Void, occasional with a floating planetoid of End Stone about a hundred meters away.
I fell to my knees upon grasping our situation.
We weren't in Minecraftia anymore. From what I could tell, we were on a hunk of End Stone, floating in the Void with other planetoids of End Stone. Planetoids that were entirely populated by hostile Endermen, capable of killing us in a few strokes.
End Stone…Endermen…
The names couldn't be a coincidence. Was wherever we were where the Endermen originated from? An Endermen dimension?
"We…we are going to die here." Lenz mumbled as he curled upon himself in a fetal position. "This is the end…"
I couldn't argue with him on that one. Forget inter-dimensional travel, I couldn't navigate my way out of a College! And with no visible return portal in sight…and surrounded by Endermen…with nothing to eat but my combined food stores and a chest full of pumpkins…
It did sound like the end.
[Wynn]
"Meyrick's info better be legit." Veronica whispered as we hid outside an old stone warehouse on the outskirts of the Kingdom. "I mean, yeah, an old abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of a Kingdom is shady as fuck, but it seems kind of cliché."
"After the beating you gave him with that sunflower? I'm sure feeding you misinformation and further angering you was the last thing on his mind." I commented with eyes locked on the warehouse.
A few seconds with Mr. Sunflower, as Veronica affectionately called it, was all it took for Meyrick to break down and give us everything. The bombers, Burke and LeShui, would be picking up a supply of TNT at the warehouse we were staking out. Meyrick, unfortunately, would be unable to meet them due to him and his goons being arrested for illegally manufacturing and supplying TNT.
Finally, after spending nearly the entire day looking for these two, as well as veronica's antics, I'd be done. Veronica would keep her word and do her part in keeping Rotjes interested in completing the railway. And if everything wrapped up nicely, I'd be back in the Inn precisely at midnight, where a certain brown-haired Crafter better be waiting.
Though, in all honesty, I did very little in getting us far in the investigation. My initial lead at the College was a dead end, and I chased a criminal only for Veronica to swoop in when things looked bad. There was that tough Jibberman, but as for the rest, her sunflower did more than me.
"Hey, Veronica?"
"Hmm?"
"You really didn't need me to catch these guys." I said it as a fact. "You could have done it on your own or with some of your guards, right?"
"…Yeah." She admitted. "But it would've just been another day for me. Searching for leads. Rounding up bad guys. Kicking ass and taking names…" She turned and offered a grin. "Most of the guards respect me too much to question my lovable antics."
"But not me." I replied, already figuring it out.
Her grin grew wider and cheekier as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Yup! That's what I love about you Snow-Hare. So strict and rigid, you waste no time in pointing out what makes me, me. I wouldn't pass up pushing your buttons for anything."
I offered a weary smile. "How nice…You'll be happy to know that I enjoy hanging out with you too. It gives me the chance to see what a lack of discipline looks like. It's a good motivator."
Veronica smirked evilly. "Oh, I'm not too sure about that." She singsonged while tapping her chin in fake contemplation. "If I recall, you showed me what a lack of discipline truly looks like…after a couple of drinks."
I blushed at the memory—or rather lack of memory—resurfaced. "T-the Ivory Skull was a onetime thing!"
"It showed me that under all that stuffiness…and clothes…there's a wild side to you." Veronica wiggled her eyebrows. "Maybe one day I'll get to meet that Ivory Skull again."
"If anyone ever uncovered that, I'd look for the nearest bottomless pit to throw myself into." I mumbled in embarrassment, forcing myself to ignore Veronica's knowing smile.
"Oh, don't be so—" Veronica stopped her sentence just as I spotted movement at the warehouse. Five Crafters. "Looks like Meyrick won't be getting a return visit from Mr. Sunflower."
"Shouldn't you call for backup?" I asked the blonde. I didn't want all our effort be for naught just because a few Crafters slipped away. We needed guards to surround the place. Form a perimeter.
"Pft. We took out a nightclub filled with goons, remember? Five guys is easy." She hopped from out of her hiding spot and crept forward towards the warehouse, her bow armed and ready. I shook my head before withdrawing my rapier and following her.
We watched as the five Crafters retracted a piston door before entering the warehouse. We stealthily slipped in after them and hid behind a pile of chests, careful not to make any noise.
Which is more than I could say for the five Crafters.
"Oi! Shouldn't Meyrick be here by now?" One of the Crafters spoke, his stone sword drawn. He was wearing a mismatch of armor, most likely ripped off of random travelers. A tell-tale sign of a Griefer.
"He's never been late before." Another one chirped. Female. But wearing a mismatch of armor as well. Including the quiet one standing in the corner, that made three Griefers. As for the other two…
"I don't like it." One of them commented gruffly. It was Burke. I immediately recognized his ashen complexion and poison-green mohawk from the wanted poster. "That overcoat-wearing ginger looks the snitch type."
"If I had to guess, I'd say he got caught up at the dry cleaner's. The same place that stalls me, I bet." The other one spoke as he paced around the warehouse. "You know it took twenty minutes for them to find my leather armor? And then they didn't even bother to dye it light gray! Just gray! I swear, that dry cleaner's is looking pretty good for my next bomb."
The one rambling about the dry cleaner's was LeShui, judging by the name over his head. He wore a gray set of leather armor and had a blonde bowl-cut.
"Does this look light gray to you?" LeShui asked Burke while shoving his leather cap in his face.
"I don't care about colors and neither will anyone else. Now get out of my face!" Burke pushed LeShui to the ground and tapped the flint and steel at his belt impatiently.
I looked over to Veronica to see her mouthing the words 'what the fuck' as she watched the serial bombers' antics. It wasn't what I was expecting either.
"Hey!" Burke shouted, leaping away from LeShui's downed form. "Don't think I didn't see what you just did!"
"Whatever do you mean?" LeShui asked innocently while hiding something behind his back.
"You just set down TNT!" Sure enough, there was a block of TNT placed on the floor where Burke had previously been standing.
"I didn't set that up." LeShui replied calmly.
"Yes, you did! I just saw you place it!"
"No, you saw me place a...watermelon."
"A red watermelon? With the words TNT plastered across?"
"TNT are letters not words."
"Fuck you, LeShui! You know I mix up letters and words! And yet here you are, drawing attention to it!"
"Better it than the TNT I placed."
"So you admit you placed TNT!"
"Well, obviously. What, did you think I placed down a watermelon?"
"But…you just…NO!"
Not what I was expecting at all.
"Anyway, stop trying to blow me up!" Burke shouted angrily as he picked up the TNT block. "Go find someone else to—"
*BOOM*
A loud explosion sounded from the corner of the warehouse and almost startled me and Veronica into revealing ourselves. The silent Griefer waiting there was instantly killed, his gear and mismatched armor littering the floor.
"Godamnit, LeShui! I didn't mean one of our guys!" Burke chastised with a disapproving glare. There was little heat, however, when shortly after he added, "That was a pretty sick explosion though. Full props."
"Sir!" The female Griefer shouted indignantly, and rightfully so. That bowl cut bomber just killed one of his men. "He just killed—!"
"Yeah? And?" Burke challenged, turning to face the girl. "What do you want me to do? Bring back the dead? Kill the man responsible? The one who freed me from prison?"
The girl shrunk in on herself. "Y-you're right. Apologies. I was being stupid."
"Damn right, you were." Burke walked right up to the girl and looked down upon her. "Don't ever forget your place, Griefer. You're only worth something if you follow orders and don't complain. Otherwise you can be in several places like your friend over there." Burke gestured to the corner, causing the girl to fearfully gulp.
I hated that guy immediately.
"Burke, why did you feel the need to explode one of our own men?" LeShui interjected while collecting the dead Griefers remains. "Alec won't be pleased."
Burke pointed an accusatory finger. "You were the one who exploded him in the first place!"
"I prefer the term 'beautified' and I didn't set those explosives." LeShui shifted his eyes guiltily.
"Yes you did!" Burke exclaimed angrily. His mohawk bristled like a rabid wolverine. "You can't pin this on me! I have witnesses!"
"I see." LeShui began walking towards the two Griefers with TNT at the ready.
"NO!" Burke snatched the TNT out of his hand and spun him away from the cowering Griefers. "If we kill any more of them we won't have anyone to carry the TNT."
"I wasn't going to kill them." LeShui denied. "And I certainly didn't rig up a time-delayed explosive over there by the chests, set to go off any moment, in the hopes I could beautify another Crafter."
Wait, what?
The second that thought entered my mind, there was an explosion from the chests we were hidden by. Veronica and I were propelled through the air before skidding to a halt against the cold warehouse floor.
Right in front of Burke and LeShui.
"Good work, Burke." LeShui congratulated with a pat. "Looks like your random habit of exploding things finally came in handy."
"Even when your craziness does something useful, you still try and blame someone else." Burke shook his head before leveling a glare at us. "You two don't look like Meyrick's goons. What's—?" Suddenly his eyes bulged and his mohawk bristled angrily. "YOU!"
He reached down and yanked the shell-shocked Veronica up by her hair. "You're the blonde bimbo that sent me to prison! The Golden Parakeet!"
"HAWK!" I shouted in exasperation.
"Tweet tweet, asshole." Veronica twittered before aiming a punch at Burke. He had to let go of her to block it, giving her the chance to put some distance between them. "Your bombs have terrorized enough people and made a hell of a lot of paperwork to deal with. So now you're going back to your cozy cell along with your buddy with the Moe Howard hair cut."
"You're just jealous." LeShui shot back.
"And who's the white-haired bitch behind you?" The mohawk-sporting brute questioned rudely. "One of your lackeys?"
I pointed my rapier at the brute. "Does this look like the weapon of a lackey?"
"Ooh, sick burn, Wynn."
"Wynn? Isn't she a Captain of Ringwood?" One of the Griefers questioned. "You got no reason to be here!"
"I know." I admitted in a flat tone. "But I'm kind of being blackmailed into helping."
"Everybody shut the fuck up and kill each other!" Burke shouted as he withdrew a stone sword and swung it at Veronica. The blonde Captain nimbly ducked before back-flipping onto a pile of chests. "That bastard Meyrick told sold us out, didn't he!?"
"Maybe." Veronica sing-songed while loosing several arrows at the bomber. "Or maybe you just couldn't escape the vigilance of the Golden Parakeet."
While those two fought each other, I focused my attention on LeShui and the Griefers. The female Griefer came at me with a heavy axe swing. I effortlessly sidestepped before elbowing her in the back of the head and forcing her to the ground.
The other Griefer came next, wielding a Splash Potion of Poison. He ran right up to me and tried to shatter the potion into my face. In response, I caught the arm holding the potion, spun around, and flipped the Griefer over my shoulder. His back slammed into the ground, driving the wind from his lungs. I then pried the potion out of his hands before throwing it in his own face.
While he screamed in pain, I returned to where the girl was staggering to her feet and kicked her in the back of the knees, forcing her to kneel. Then I slashed her with my rapier to lower her health before rendering her unconscious with a well-placed stomp.
Griefers focused far too much time on ruining people's lives instead of training. Unless in big numbers, they were no real threat.
With the two Griefers out of the way, that only left LeShui. I pointed my rapier at him, but it looked like he hadn't moved from his spot. He was just watching the two downed Griefers.
"Thank you for sparing them." LeShui stated appreciatively. "It will give them the chance to be something greater."
"You're under arrest." I ignored his words and inched closer, not trusting his seemingly unarmed appearance.
He shook his head sadly. "Don't tell me you're like those other close-minded guards who saw only horror in my beautifying acts?"
"You destroyed bridges and killed a lot of people." I continued with a frown. "You're a dangerous criminal."
"People die everyday." LeShui reasoned as he withdrew a lever from his belt. "And when they die, they explode into a shower of EXP and gear. Explosions are natural. Explosions are a part of life. A part of death."
"So that's your motivation?" I questioned angrily. "You blow people up because you think it's natural?"
"It's nothing personal. Just that if people are going to explode and die anyway, wouldn't it be better to go out in a beautiful burst of fire and gunpowder?" He set the lever down by a trail of redstone I only just noticed. Did he just set that up? "Speaking of, do you know one of the first things I learned at the Redstone College?"
"Don't care." I replied harshly, even as my eyes followed the redstone trail to see what he had rigged up. They stopped at a structure loaded with several TNT and water.
LeShui smirked. "TNT cannon." He flicked the lever, igniting the TNT and blasting a block of it towards me.
I quickly sprawled to avoid it, but it detonated right over me. The force of the explosion struck my armored back and decimated the floor, leaving me face down in a smoking crater. I was able to survive, but the injured Griefers nearby weren't so lucky. One of their Heads tumbled into the crater to look at me with lifeless eyes.
"Looks like Burke killed another two Griefers." LeShui commented idly as he looked down from the crater's edge. "Alec will definitely be displeased."
I tried to climb to my feet while LeShui prattled on.
"Live to die another day, Captain." He stated as he turned back to his companion. "Burke! Stop playing around and let's get out of here."
"Playing? PLAYING!?" Came an enraged Burke. "You wanna see fucking playing!? I'll show you fucking playing!"
I climbed out of the crater while listening to the whizzing of arrows overhead, followed by an 'Oh, SHIT!' from Veronica.
Just what was going on up there?
"Wynn! He's spamming TNT all over the place! We gotta go!"
Those words reverberated inside my head like an alarm, forcing me to collect myself or face death by fiery explosion. I climbed out of the crater, accepting a helping hand from Veronica, before bolting out of the warehouse. Burke had already placed several dozen blocks of TNT and was still placing them in an angry frenzy. Veronica wasn't kidding when she said he bombed indiscriminately.
We opened the piston doors and escaped just as we heard the hissing of primed TNT.
The first explosion was the smallest. But like the first domino it instantly primed all nearby TNT, creating a chain reaction of explosions that propelled instant death in every direction. Flashing blocks of TNT flew by as we sprinted away from the warehouse. It would only take a stray explosive to kill us.
When a block of TNT missed Veronica by an inch, I withdrew a Swiftness Potion from my belt and downed it. With my enhanced speed, I dragged Veronica along, straight towards the edge of the chasm, and leapt off. The explosions continued above, but we were falling far away from them and their dangers.
With Veronica's help, we angled ourselves towards the closest slime pad and landed safely. Bits of cobblestone and stone brick rained down upon us. It was disorienting, but we were still alive.
"Damn…" Veronica cursed as she clutched her head. "I think…my ears popped again."
I tried to stifle a laugh, but the relief of being alive combined with Veronica's absurd priorities got the better of me. I laughed loudly and it must have been infectious because Veronica was laughing too. For a while the two of us laughed on that slime pad, oblivious to the panicked crowd reacting to the explosions above.
After a few moments, our laughs devolved into breathless giggles before finally ending.
"Think those two got away?" I asked the blonde, referring to Burke and LeShui.
"Probably." Veronica commented with slight disappointment. "They're slippery bastards, that's for sure. I should've listened to you and called for backup."
"Do you want to keep searching for them?"
Veronica shook her head and sprawled herself across the slime pad like it was a big cushy bed. "It's been a long day…too long…I'll search again tomorrow."
I frowned at her. "So after all that, that's it?"
"I'm not being lazy, Wynn." Veronica argued. "I'm tired. We hauled in a bunch of criminals and I finally got a glimpse of LeShui to add to the wanted posters. And we cut off their TNT supply."
"And what about the Alec guy they mentioned?"
"That's future Veronica's problem." She declared with finality. "Right now, present Veronica is clocking out for the day." She turned to me. "Want to grab a bite before midnight?"
I briefly considered turning her down, hoping to get back to the Inn to see how her guards were doing. And maybe to catch Cobb NOT there. But I figured I could use some dinner, even if it was a late dinner.
"You're buying." I smiled.
"How generous of me."
[Cobb]
"Lenzington!" I shook the college student frantically, calling him by his full name to get a response. "You gotta snap out of your crazy daze! I can't figure a way out by myself!"
"All…all those Heads…like trophies…" Lenz mumbled, his head jarred with each shake, but his eyes were still unfocused. "After all the research I did…I thought I knew him…an engineer would not have exhibited such barbaric habits."
"Look, I get that you're having a crisis of sorts right now," I spoke while looking him directly in the eye, forcing him to focus. "You found out the guy you idolized is of the mad scientist variety, but none of that matters right now! What matters is us finding a way out of this…End dimension."
It was the only thing I could come up with to describe wherever we were…without further freaking Lenz out. Learning that we were in the Void could have worsened his wrecked mind.
"It does matter…" He spoke to himself. "The man I respected…the legendary engineer…and in that hall…" His face darkened. "Each of those Heads was a victim…not caught in unfortunate lava traps that would have burned them…but actual victims. Jeb hunted them…and hung their Heads on his wall…"
A bit my lip in frustration, trying not to remember all those dead faces. Each one was a Crafter full of experience with the potential to be greater. Of course seeing their Heads, all lined up like a collection, freaked me the fuck out! But in relation to our current predicament, it may as well have been decades ago.
"Come on, Lenz." I shook him a little more, pleading with him to come back to sanity. "I didn't follow you through that portal to watch you lose your mind."
"Liar." He challenged with listless eyes. "You tumbled in…a product of clumsiness…just like me."
"No. Unlike you, I don't go blindly running around after seeing a hall of Heads. I hunch over, dry heave for a bit to get all the mortification out of me, and then I go blindly running around after seeing a hall of Heads." I made it sound like a joke, even though it was completely true, in an effort to get a response from him. "There was an emergency ladder I could have used to get out. Instead I came in after you."
"That…that does not make any rational sense…" Lenz commented, confusion breaking through his listlessness. "You had nothing to gain…there could not have been a ladder…"
"It's the truth. So I'd really appreciate it if you helped me help you to get the hell out of here." I gestured to the stairs. "There's about fifty Endermen out there, and I need whatever expertise or knowledge you have on them if we're going to fight our way out."
I glimmer of feeling returned to Lenz' eyes as he blinked a few times, processing my words. "Fight...? B-but I cannot—"
"SHHHut it!" I covered his mouth with my hand. "I don't care what expertise you have or don't have. Two heads are always better than one."
Lenz pushed my arm aside and stood up from his fetal position. More focus was returning to his eyes. "You do not understand, Cobbert." He frowned while rubbing his arm. "I cannot help you. This dimension…this place…no visible redstone or machination to tinker with…it is completely out of my element."
I groaned aloud and massaged the bridge of my noise. "Oh, come on, Lenz! Is this more of that 'proper place' and 'aptitude' crap? You told me you were spawned among the seven-hundred-thousands. You must have some experience under your belt."
Lenz' eyes darted to the left. If his goggles or glasses were down, I might have missed it. Without them, he was an open book.
"The seven-hundred-thousands…that number is not as impressive as you imagine." He began as he walked over to the pumpkin chest. "I spawned in a group of over one thousand Crafters. Most of them were big, burly, macho men, that took orders from no one and whose knuckles dragged across the dirt.
"As for all the rest, they were of the skinny variety. And I was just the one percent of that demographic whose major talent was stringing big words together in sentences." Despite his self-loathing choice of words, Lenz didn't appear ashamed of calling himself a word-nerd.
But where was he going with his conversation?
"Our group did not know which direction from the Origin Zone to travel. I suggested the tall mountain to the North to get a better view of the surroundings. The group of neanderthals said, 'Fuck you, Lenny' and traveled East instead." He spat out the nickname Lenny, as if he hated it. "And I had to go along with their choices because I knew I could not last a day by myself.
"I had zero skill with a sword and zero affinity for getting up close and personal with Mobs. Those neanderthals—as dull as they were—had muscles not just for show. They had the aptitude to fight. It was in their veins. It was what they were spawned for. What they were always chosen to do."
He opened the chest and picked up one of the pumpkins. Then he withdrew a torch from his backpack and combined the two to make a glowing jack-o-lantern, which he then set on the black floor. Then he stared into it, like it was a campfire.
"It took a few days, but eventually I accepted that they were made to fight, and I was made for…something else." He smiled sadly. "So I let them be the heroes…let myself be the defenseless sheep being shepherded from the wolves…the wolves that were too busy tearing into the heroes to target me…"
I felt my blood run cold at his metaphor. What had attacked his group?
"When we finally reached Daymonte, there were only thirty or so of us left from that initial thousand…I survived because I accepted that I should flee rather than fight…that it was not my place." He turned to look at me. "That is the level of my experience."
I looked at him carefully, and with a bit of sympathy. "Did you feel guilty over your group?"
"N-no. I did not. They were just mindless meatheads. Nothing more." His eyes darted for a fraction of a second. Barely noticeable, but telling more than his words could. A little glimmer of sympathy. "All the same, I was powerless to do anything."
That couldn't be all there was to it. "Didn't you ever leave the Kingdom to run errands or meet friends or—"
He laughed harshly. "Leave? For what? Once I first laid eyes on Daymonte's machinations and discovered the sweet joys of redstone engineering, I finally knew how to apply my brilliant mind. The pistons, the levers. The sweet sounds of self-automated machinery. I had finally found my place in the world. I was…am…an engineer."
He turned and pointed a finger at me. "And you, Cobbert, are a warrior. And Jeb, an engineer…or so I thought before witnessing his monstrosities…"
"So you're saying you can't help me because escaping some dangerous dimension isn't in your skill set?"
He shook his head. "Not skill set. Aptitude."
"That's the same fucking thing!"
"Comparators. It is like talking to an inebriated monkey." Lenz groaned as he rested his head against the wall. At least he seemed to have snapped out of his crazy daze, finally returning to his normal self. "Allow me to rephrase: Have you ever found something that no matter how hard you tried, you could not succeed?"
"Yeah. Archery." I responded easily. Every time I tried shooting an arrow it either barely sailed or hit me in the face. I even asked Wynn for lessons and still had no luck.
"Then, is it so implausible to just accept you have no affinity for a bow, and to focus your time and attention on something that comes naturally to you?"
"No, it isn't." I argued with a frown, to which Lenz threw his hands up in exasperation. "Everyone spawns from the same Origin. So we all have the potential to do anything we set our minds to. It's only a question of how much time we devote to learning something…and when you keep going when others stop." A snippet of advice came back to me. "You only get out what you put in."
Lenz wrinkled his nose. "That sounds like a sex euphemism."
"Um…that's the mark of good advice." I reasoned in a questioning tone, seeing if he would buy it. It was funny how, despite being trapped in some strange dimension, we were remaining calm through simply talking.
Lenz rolled my advice around, no doubt comparing other words of wisdom as sex euphemisms.
I just shook my head. "I get what you're saying, and I know that when you're frustrated with not learning something, it's easier to give up—I was pretty close myself rebuilding those shelters for Wynn—but I also think we all have our own limitless tap of potential…so anything can be done or learned, regardless of aptitude or experience."
So just quit using the 'I lack the aptitude' excuse and help me figure a way out of this End.
Lenz shook his head, his gray hair swishing along with it. "I cannot help. I thought exploring the Stronghold was within my element. There were Mobs, but there was also redstone and traps—the things I actually knew. I believed my skills were the final key to locating Jeb's laboratory—"
"But that wasn't it!" I interjected, grabbing his sides. "I had no clue about engineering or redstone, but I was able to open the door. I got us this far—actually scratch that last part. I don't want to be blamed for this."
Lenz chuckled sadly. "There are no authorities in this dimension, Cobbert. Just Endermen. And I very much doubt they will care about blame." He looked down at his hands. "Perhaps this was also not my place to explore. Perhaps Jeb's secrets were never meant to be found by a weakling like me."
I threw my arms up in exasperation. I was getting nowhere with the student. There had to be some way to instill confidence in him.
"Look, Lenz. You're a smart guy." I began with as much sincerity as my frustration allowed. "And I'm more of a 'think-on-the-fly' or 'try-anything-until-something-works' kind of guy. People are unique like that.
"You focus on complicated engineering stuff, while I just look for the simple solution. But it took both of us, working together, to get this far."
Lenz raised his head, looking like he was thinking. "Working together…like a hopper and a comparator."
A comparator and a what? Eh, better just roll with it.
"…Yeah. Exactly like a Hopper and a Comparator." I nodded. "I'm not asking you to fight. I just need you to lend your brilliant mind so we can find a way out of this dimension. So will you help?"
Lenz looked down for a moment and wiped the tear trails off his face with his scarf. Then he picked up and pocketed his shears before straightening his attire. He lowered his glasses to cover his magenta eyes.
"I do not know how much I can assist…" He began tentatively before looking back towards me. "The signs."
"Huh?" I asked.
"The signs from the laboratory." He continued as he paced the floor. "One of them read, 'Back through the portal', remember? Meaning that someone traveled here once before returning to Minecraftia somehow. Therefore, it stands to reason that there must be a way out."
"For every entrance, there's an exit, right?" I echoed Lenz' words to which he smiled and nodded.
"Unfortunately, the only areas we can explore are currently overrun with Endermen." Lenz glanced at the stairwell with slight anxiety. "We would never survive going up there."
"Then we'll just dig down here." I tossed Lenz my spare wooden pickaxe and readied my own iron one. "This End Stone stuff is pretty weak. So it shouldn't be a problem making tunnels. Just be careful you don't fall off. We're on a floating island of this stuff, after all."
Lenz nodded and gripped the pick awkwardly, picking a random tunnel to mine through. I stood beside him and swung my pick at the first stone.
And then it broke.
"WHY!?" I accused the tool, as if it was accountable for using up its own durability on mining End Stone. "You're doing this on purpose!" I shook its remains furiously until it turned to dust. Then I curled upon myself in comical depression.
"Er…would you like this back?" Lenz asked kindly, presenting my wooden pick to me.
I wordlessly accepted the pick and began mining a tunnel.
As we traveled underground, we heard the grunts of the Endermen above. We kept relatively silent so that none of them could hear us. And to maximize the distance our tunnel could go, I made it as narrow as I could, just big enough to fit a single person. Even if the Endermen did hear us, the space would be too small for their abnormal height.
I didn't know what we were looking for exactly. Would the escape portal look similar to the entrance portal? And if so, would it be close by? If the dimension we were trapped in was the size of Minecraftia, we could spend years wandering without finding anything.
And then I would most certainly be late getting back to the Inn.
Brain: I warned you.
Yeah, yeah. Just help me think up a good excuse for when we finally get out of here.
Heart: You could tell her your clock broke. It's technically the truth and it would explain how you lost track of time.
Brain: That's fine for short-term in this dimension, but she probably won't believe we lost track of time if we turn up years later.
Liver: Then just use the misunderstanding excuse. Tell her you thought she meant midnight several years later rather than midnight tonight.
Brain: What a great, believable idea! Liver, you are such a genius.
Liver: Really?
Brain: No, you fucking moron. Leave the good ideas to yours truly.
Liver: Uh…*Sob*…uh…
Lungs: *Sigh*
Brain: Whoa! Relax, Lungs! Geez, I was just joking…
Listening to my subconscious bicker already made for great mining ambiance, but Lenz felt the need to supply his own hushed words to the silence.
"The chances that Jeb constructed an escape portal underground are astronomically low." Lenz directed his attention to the noises above. "I fear we may have to explore the surface to find it."
"With all those Endermen up there?" I argued. There was no way I could fishing rod them all, and even if Lenz helped with his bow, projectiles couldn't hit the teleporting Mob. Just how had Jeb or whoever built the portal been able to survive in a dimension filled with Endermen?
"Well, my brilliant mind does have the makings of a plan."
"And?"
"It is quite simple. You go up above and flail your arms about with occasional shouting to draw all the Endermen to you."
"…Okay? Then what?"
"Then, I will be free to explore this dimension undisturbed." Lenz stated confidently. "Given enough time, I am positive I can locate a way out."
"And what if the Endermen kill me first?"
"Then I shall remember you fondly."
"I don't like that plan." I shot down. "No way am I gonna risk dying and getting sent to the Void…unless that's where we're at now…um…" I scratched my head trying to wrap my mind around how death in the End dimension worked.
"It is not entirely preposterous that we are in the Void." Lenz held out a metal disk with a red arrow spinning like crazy. "My Compass cannot decide which way the Origin lies. That would mean we are either stood upon the Origin itself, or we are in another plane of existence, far, far away from Minecraftia."
"Is that even possible?" I asked with another swing of my pick.
"Perhaps." Lenz rubbed his chin in thought. "I have heard of portals going to the Nether—"
The what now?
"—But this place is not at all like what is described in the books."
"And what's described in the books?"
"A burning pit of fiery, lava-filled, and monster-filled Hell."
"Sounds like good times. Was inter-dimensional physics a course taught at the college?"
"How you think my description of the Nether is 'good times' is beyond me. Furthermore, the college does not teach a course on—Oh!" Lenz snapped his fingers in realization. "That was that sarcasm I have heard so much about."
"Uh…yeah." How sheltered is this guy? "Haven't you ever used sarcasm before?"
"No, I find it difficult to differentiate from normal speech patterns." He adjusted his glasses. "Perhaps you could help me understand. Is it in the inflection or the tone? Or in the general gait?"
"I don't know." I shrugged. "Sarcasm's just sarcasm."
"I see." Lenz listened attentively while rummaging in his backpack. Then he stopped and started patting his belt, searchingly. "Hoppers! Of all the days to misplace my notebook, it just had to be the day I finally learn the social nuances."
With one last swing, the wooden pick broke, leaving me with nothing but air in my hands. "Great. Just great—that was sarcasm by the way—really wish I brought that spare pick."
"Cobbert, if you are going to continue using sarcasm, I must insist we find myself a notebook." Lenz stated, frantically double-checking his Inventory. "Just thinking about all these notes I am missing—"
"You're a citizen of Daymonte, right?" I began while setting down a Crafting Table with the intent of crafting a pickaxe out of End Stone. If that didn't work I always had cobble.
"Correct. But how does that pertain to…" His eyes suddenly widened and he shielded himself protectively. "No, Cobbert! I cannot—will not—overwrite my citizenship book! Besides, if it is signed, it cannot be written over."
I let out a disappointed sigh when the End Stone in place of cobblestone didn't make a pickaxe. The bleached stone didn't look useful for anything, but ugly décor. "Well, why are you asking me for a book? You think I carry any beside my citizenship infor—"
As I reached into my backpack for the cobblestone, my hand brushed something unfamiliar. I grabbed it and brought it up to my eye.
It was an [ITEM FRAME].
When did I…
A thought flashed by. The Creeper-woman explosion…crashing into the library wall…knocking over the item frames and the books within that flew into my Inventory…
Books.
"Actually, hang on, I may have some books for you to use." I promised Lenz as I sifted through my Inventory. I counted four item frames so I probably had four books.
I mentally glimpsed each title as I pulled them out.
'Feelings: And How to Destroy Them' By Frankly_DontGiveADamn.
'Fifty Shades of Chicken' By LarsLarsPantsOnFars.
'Advanced Mob-Slaying' By Herobrine.
'The History of Cadboro Bridge' By Alexi—
…
Huh?
I went back to the third book, completely ignoring Lenz' whines to take notes.
Advanced?
Herobrine?
I tore the book open to the first page and began to read.
[If you are reading this, I can only assume you enjoyed my first book 'How to Kill Stuff for Numb Nuts' and are yearning for an advanced learning. I rhyme to break tension…it was Notch's idea.]
[Since my first book was rejected—I mean they couldn't sell those puppies fast enough!—I have decided to take some…constructive criticisms to heart in order to improve my writing. At Notch's suggestion, I changed the title to something more eye catching…and less insulting. Because apparently, people have feelings.]
[Who knew?]
[Anyway, I write this note to thank Notch for all his support and advice. A better friend I will never find. I have already been approached by several new publishers. I might even be able to write a third!]
[But once again, this book is for the purpose of enlightening Crafters of the dangers of Mobs. While my first book touched upon the basic four, this book delves deeper into the more unique Mobs that plague our world. Endermen, Endermites, Silverfish, Slimes, Witches, and Guardians. Hopefully, my words will help you, the humble reader, survive in this crazy world…where, again, people apparently have feelings.]
"Hooooooooaah!" I gasped in realization, not even bothering to keep my voice down.
"Cobbert, what is it?"
"Hoooooooooooooooooooooaah!" I turned my head to face Lenz, then back to the book, then back to Lenz, then back to the book again.
"You look and sound like me when I find out the new issue of Redstone Engineering Monthly just arrived."
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
I held up the book as if it were a precious treasure.
Because if it had tips on how to slay Endermen…it very well could be.
Inventory (Cobb): 1 Wooden Shovel, 1 Stone Sword, 1 Golden Sword [Sharpness I, Unbreaking I]{Weak}, 1 Fishing Rod {Weak}, 11 Cobblestone, 64 End Stone, 64 End Stone, 64 End Stone, 35 End Stone, 1 Coal, 18 Torches, 4 Oak Wood Planks, 1 Clock, 2 Signs, 1 Bucket, 10 String, 1 Bone, 6 Baked Potatoes, 19 Pumpkin Pies, 33 Cookies, 1 Cake, 1 Leather Cap, 1 Leather Tunic [Dyed Green, Unbreaking I], 1 Crafting Table, 1 Furnace, 11 Rotten Flesh, 1 Arrow, 4 Item Frames, 1 Book {Advanced Mob-Slaying}, 1 Book {Feelings: And How to Destroy Them}, 1 Book {Fifty Shades of Chicken}, 1 Book {The History of Cadboro Bridge}, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Ringwood Entry Pass}, 1 Paper {Daymonte Temporary Entry Pass}
[EXP: 9]
Inventory (Lenz): 1 Bow, 1 Shears, 3 Levers, 4 Wooden Buttons, 3 Stone Buttons, 5 Redstone Torches, 30 Redstone, 7 Redstone Repeaters, 3 Redstone Comparators, 1 Hopper, 3 Blocks of Redstone, 3 Pistons, 8 Gravel, 17 Cobblestone, 10 Torches, 3 Redstone Lamps, 1 Minecart, 1 Compass, 15 String, 19 Carrots, 36 Arrows, 1 Crafting Table, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Daymonte Entry Pass}
[EXP: 0]
AN: A wise man once said...'HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAH!'
Not sure if any of you remember the first book Cobb read back in Chapter 5. Now he has the sequel, with info on Mobs he hasn't even seen yet. Though I'm sure you all know how Cobb is going to get past those Endermen. The other books I just picked some funny titles and Author Names.
A bit of Lenz' backstory came through. He's been around a while, but he's never had to get his hands dirty. Making him just as much, if not more of, a Newb than Cobb.
The Wynn and Veronica vs Burke and LeShui showdown wasn't as impressive. But it wasn't supposed to be. Not everything goes as planned after all. But it kinda touched on their friendship as well as highlight their major flaws. Veronica is impulsive, quick-thinking, but throws caution to the wind while Wynn is precise, careful, and refuses to accept unconventional methods. And that's why the bombers got away.
See you all next week. Unless you see me first.
Omake: Fun with Comparators
LeShui made sure he had everything set up before he walked into the place. This was probably the biggest mission of his life. Everything was at stake. If there was even one slip-up-
No! He couldn't think like that. There would be no slip-ups.
He and Burke had already been discovered by that lesbian duo, but that was because they trusted Meyrick to keep his mouth shut.
This was different. Nobody else was involved.
Just him...and the dry cleaner's.
"Hello, sir. How can I help?"
The man behind the counter beamed brightly as he washed a leather tunic of its red dye in a cauldron filled with water.
"Hello. I've been here before." LeShui responded as he glanced around the place. He was the only customer. Apparently Crafters preferred the other dry cleaner's which could actually distinguish subtle differences in color. "I had you wash my light gray leather armor and instead you re-dyed it gray. Is that a policy of your establishment?"
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir." The man behind the counter replied automatically. His go-to response for customers with problems. "If there's anything I can do-"
"As a matter of fact, there is." LeShui capitalized on the man's eagerness to make amends. "I have a redstone lesson for you that you might find...enlightening."
The man didn't notice the menace behind those words. "Um...sure! Thoguh I'm not very good with redstone-"
"Oh, it's quite simple, really." LeShui explained earnestly as he pulled out a cauldron, a bucket of water, a comparator, and some redstone. "Did you know, that a comparator can output a redstone signal without the use of a source such as a block of redstone, a lever, or a redstone torch?"
"No...no I can't say that I knew that."
"Basically, you can hook up a comparator to a chest, a hopper, or in this case a cauldron," LeShui continued as he placed the cauldron down and filled it with water, "And then the comparator will output a redstone signal depending on how full the cauldron is."
"That's...very interesting, sir." The man lied as he put on a fake smile.
"Yes, it is." LeShui smiled as he mentally finished the explanation.
It is particularly interesting to note that this method makes the perfect time-delayed explosives for establishments using cauldrons for water sources. As soon as the cauldron is empty...
BOOM!
No more miss-dyed laundry.
"Is...that all, sir? I have a lot of leather to be washing."
"Yes. And so little time." The bomber finished as he backed away to the door. "Have a good life."
Ignoring the puzzled look on the man's face, LeShui exited the dry cleaners before sneaking his way to the side and mining out a section of the wall. Right behind one of the washing cauldrons. He placed the comparator, attached an inverter to it, and rigged the ground around the place with several blocks of TNT.
When that was done, he nodded appreciatively at his own work and made sure it was hidden by some empty chests.
"Taking out a lowly dry cleaner's." LeShui commented to himself as he kept his hands in his belt as he left what would soon become a crater. "Will Burke's madness ever be fully satiated?"
AN: LeShui knows his time-delayed explosives. Just as he knows the difference between gray and light gray.