AN: I couldn't get this to my Beta in time. So pleese ignoir erors if yu c any.
I also wanted to give a shout-out to two 'My Craft-esque' fanfics. Because...guess what...It's National Tell A Story Day!
...
That's an actual holiday. April 27th. I'm serious. So I figured I'd promote two Minecraft stories.
The first is 'Factions' by AwakenedKarbon. It's...slightly identical to 'My Craft'. You can kind of see the similarities. But it has its own story, so give it a chance and see what you think.
The second is 'Panda Craft' by AwesomeSauce555. It's very similar to my story, but has a female main character instead of a male one. It's also supposedly a fanfic of my fanfic...even though my fanfic is based off the constraints of a video game. It has the same setting as 'My Craft', but I'm assuming it's not related to my story's world or plot. So if you like 'My Craft' and its setting but don't like Cobb or where his story is going, give 'Panda Craft' a read and see what you think.
Moving on. Congrats to Laner for guessing the answer right. There were actually multiple answers I would have accepted, but his/hers was the first. The answer: You can't answer 'yes' to the question 'Are you dead?' Enjoy your cookie and your acknowledgement.
(::)
Puzzle: You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
Disclaimer: I don't own Minecraft. If I did, I'd add rare ores in the End.
Beta: Myself this time
Chapter 39
Advanced
[Cobb]
"Cobbert!" Lenz warned in a hushed whisper. "Unless you wish for a speedy death by Endermen, you should keep your voice down!"
I didn't care though. All the fear I felt over the inescapable dimension of Endermen evaporated upon reading the intro to Herobrine's second book. His first book had tips on Creepers that were otherwise unknown to Crafters. Surely this book would be the same, but for stronger Mobs.
Those pesky Witches and their splash potion combos. The Bugs that swarmed in unstoppable torrents. Endermen and their strength and reach.
The book would detail weaknesses, strengths, tips, tricks, and anything else that could easily take them down. And since it was a book about survival, I wouldn't be bored out of my mind reading it.
"You don't get it, Lenz!" I exclaimed excitedly as I flipped through the pages. "This book was written by Herobrine, the first person to spawn in all of Minecraftia. I read the prequel to it and it helped me deal with Mobs."
"A book…taught you how to fight Mobs?" His ears perked up in interest and he leaned over my shoulder to glimpse the writing. "Herobrine…Herobrine…Why have I not heard of that name?"
As I flipped through, the word 'Enderman' caught my eye. "Right here. This is all we need."
[ENDERMAN]
[Description: Jet black skin with purple eyes. Tall with long arms and legs. When passive, they only make small grunts. However, when hostile, their jaw unhinges and they make a guttural noise as terrible as it is ominous.]
[Tips: Enderman, while appearing dangerous, are a special type of Mob that does not actively seek conflict. Unlike Zombies or Skeletons, they will not attack a Crafter immediately. Instead, the peculiar Mob spends its time in search of blocks. It is the only Mob I know of that can lift blocks, but even that is limited to gravel, dirt, pumpkins, and other minor blocks. Since none of these are major blocks in construction, structures are safe from Endermen.]
[However, Endermen are Mobs of great pride. If a Crafter is to look directly into their eyes, the Endermen take it as a challenge. At that moment, they become hostile and use their incredible teleportation abilities and monstrous strength to kill the offending Crafter. They are capable of 5 hearts of damage and have double the health of a standard Crafter (20 hearts).]
That's why that first Enderman only went after Floyd. I thought to myself, remembering near Mt. Mur. When that Enderman attacked, I kept my head low while Floyd kept looking at it. No wonder it was so belligerent.
[Additionally, Endermen are immune to projectiles. Any arrows shot at them will instantly trigger their teleportation, warping them to safety in a flurry of purple particles. They can also avoid sword strikes by teleporting away before returning with a vengeance. Their teleportation is unpredictable, appearing in front of you or behind you in moments.]
"I am not feeling any better about our chances for survival, Cobbert." Lenz commented after reading the same stuff I was reading.
"Just give it a minute."
[When angered, Endermen are fast, evasive, strong, and vicious. So how does one fight them?]
[By not fighting at all.]
[Since eye contact is all it takes to anger one, simply stare at the ground and you should be able to walk right by. Additionally, I have studied that Endermen only react to eyes, but not similar eye openings. Upon testing with a pumpkin, the Endermen was looking directly into the carved pumpkin's face…and nothing!]
[Upon further testing, wearing the pumpkin on one's head (while ridiculous) masks your own eyesight. Although the pumpkin is rather concealing, it enables minimal vision in navigating amongst the Endermen without raising alarms. The same can be said about staring at Endermen through transparent blocks such as glass.]
[Endermen and water do not mix. Perhaps because water is free flowing and not in a single block that Endermen can carry. Rain and Sunlight also damage the Mob. And if cornered, building a shelter only two blocks high can keep you safe while the Enderman's height keeps it from teleporting inside or entering.]
[The best strategy for dealing with Endermen (if you must) is to utilize weapons that damage over time. An Enderman usually teleports away from a Crafter to prolong the battle as long as possible. Burning or poisoning one will turn the tables, making a longer battle unfavorable for the Mob.]
[Endermen rarely spawn in Minecraftia, but are indigenous to a certain dimension I have dubbed the 'End'. However, since portals there are strictly limited, it is doubtful any of you readers would stumble upon it.]
"Doubtful, but possible." Lenz chimed in.
[Weakness: Water, Sunlight, Splash Potion of Harming, Splash Potion of Poison, Fire.]
All that for one Mob. Compared to that mountain of writing, the info on Zombies and Skeletons were snippets. Did the other Advanced Mobs have similar notes?
I suppose it made sense. Most of the Mobs I fought were from that first book. They were the most common, spawning the most frequently, and therefore were the easiest to kill.
But if the Enderman section was any indication, Advanced Mobs were rarer and more difficult to deal with. I had only ever seen Witches once, and that once was almost enough to kill me. The same with the Bugs (thought they probably went by a different name since the book never mentioned 'Bugs' in the intro).
Rarer Mobs meant more of a challenge. More to deal with. More to consider.
And if I didn't want to get killed, I'd have to learn how to handle them.
I closed the book and turned to Lenz. "Back when we first ended up in this…End. Do you remember that chest full of pumpkins?"
"This is asinine!" Lenz argued as I pulled out two pumpkins from the chest in that first room. "Wearing pumpkins on our heads? Who would ever think to do that?"
"Nobody. That's the point." I stated while passing the student a pumpkin. "If we knew that pumpkins could keep us safe from Endermen, we would've used them. Nobody ever thought Creeper explosions could be blocked by a sword, either. But, as we've both seen, they can."
Lenz opened his mouth to argue, but stopped himself, probably recalling the Creeper-woman that would have blown him up if I hadn't blocked it. "You…you learned that from Herobrine's first book?"
"Sure did. And it saved my life just as it saved yours." I had to take off my leather cap for the pumpkin to fit, and once it did, I was only able to see through the mouth and eyes of the fruit. "Herobrine wouldn't go through the trouble of researching these things just to publish a book with false information."
Lenz stared hesitantly at the pumpkin in his hands before turning his attention back to me. Then he sighed to himself and put the pumpkin on. "Very well. I shall put my faith in your word…provided you go out there first."
"That's not exactly faith, but sure." I commented as I walked up the stairwell. The Endermen's grunts got louder with each ascending step, but I was confident Herobrine wouldn't let me down.
He hadn't before.
[Wynn]
"Looks like it's true what they say." I began after polishing off my meal. "Food does taste better when it's free."
"Glad you enjoyed it." Veronica replied after taking out a few emeralds to pay for the meal.
We had been extremely lucky to find a restaurant open so late. Though it probably had something to do with the fact that Veronica, the Golden Whatever-she-felt-like, was popular among the Kingdom's inhabitants. They actually liked her and she seemed friendly with them.
It made me a little jealous, thinking of how in Ringwood, my approach always forced Crafters to stand up straighter. Yet they never offered kind words, content to let me pass without so much as a 'hello'.
As if they were afraid of me.
Afraid of the strict merciless Captain my reputation made me out to be.
…
"Hey, Veronica." I turned to the blonde who held her hands behind her head in a carefree manner. "How come people like you so much?"
Veronica considered that for a moment, taping her chin in thought, before shrugging. "I dunno. Just my personality I guess." Then she suddenly grinned. "Or were you gonna say you liked me for different reasons?"
I shook my head. "Ringwood's Crafters don't look at me the same way Daymonte's people look at you. I uphold the law, and I suppose my bias towards criminals make me seem intimidating. But you're just as intimidating and have a disregard for strict security yet Crafters treat you so warmly. How do you do it?"
Veronica's eyes widened a bit before she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Hey, don't say things like that. You should be proud of your reputation in Ringwood. It's only because you value keeping your Kingdom safe that your methods are so unyielding. Be thankful you're not like those other Kingdoms that resort to flat out brutality to keep people in line."
Says the woman that beat up two people with a sunflower.
"And one more thing." Veronica locked her deep green eyes with my amber ones. "Even if your whole Kingdom thinks you're scary, I don't. And do you know why?"
"Because we've known each other for a long time." I replied unquestioningly, as if I already knew it was the answer.
"We have known each other for a long time. But that's not it."
I raised a brow. "Is it…because we're good friends?"
"You're getting warmer." Veronica smiled softly as she leaned in closer. "Last guess."
I hummed in thought, all while noting how dangerously close Veronica was getting. After the stunt she pulled at the nightclub, it was making me a bit wary.
On a whim, I took a wild guess. "Because you enjoy teasing me like this?"
"Bzzzt! Wrong." She slowly reached out and held my hands with hers. "It's because I think you're cool, smart, beautiful, inspiring…and that's why…" She took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for something. "That's why…the next time you visit Daymonte, or I visit Ringwood…I'd want to go out on a date. With you."
"What, like a double date? Because I don't need you to set me up with someone crazy."
"And what if the 'someone crazy' was me?"
All coherent thought in my brain was wiped away. "What?"
"Wynn!" She exclaimed half amused, half exasperated. "I'm asking you out on a date!"
"A…date?" I must have misheard her. There was no way she was asking me this. It was just one of her habitual teasing schemes. "A-are you serious?"
"Like a Charged Creeper." She was still holding my hands and was looking at me expectantly. "After barely escaping that warehouse of TNT, and both of us almost dying, I realized I shouldn't be hesitant about my feelings for you anymore. Life is too short."
"You mean…" I was trying to put two and two together, but was only coming up with five. "You're a lesbian?"
"Yeah! Just like you."
I took a few steps back at how certain she sounded in making that assumption. "Veronica…I…I'm not a lesbian."
She looked momentarily surprised but quickly schooled her features. "What are you talking about? Of course you are…Aren't you?"
"No!" I shook my head in denial. "I'm not—what made you even think I was homosexual?"
"Well," she ticked off her fingers, "your clothes, your personality, the way you talk to Cobb or any man in general, your job, your—"
"Alright! I get it! Just…" I held up my hands, removing them from Veronica's grip. Who'd ever think that all the times she teased me, she was actually flirting with me. And the reason she wanted me alone on her mission…
Good God, I'm more oblivious than Cobb!
COBB!
"I'm…sorry, Veronica. But I'm not a lesbian. I didn't mean to send you mixed signals. Or misinterpret yours."
Veronica's hands fell to her side, swaying slightly, before she hung her head dejectedly. "Oh…Okay." She sniffed slightly before rubbing her eyes.
I reached out a hand to pat her consolingly. "I really am sorry Veronica. I had no idea—"
Veronica straightened up instantly, a devious smile spreading across her face along with no evidence of any tears. "How sorry? Because I may know of a way you can make it up to me." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"NOT THAT SORRY!" And just like that, she was back. "My God! You're incorrigible!" I lightly and repeatedly slapped her shoulder, not really causing her any pain, while she just laughed herself into a corner.
What was so darn funny? There was no ways she could bounce back that fast about having her emotions spurned! Like some kind of rubber ball of emotions.
When her laughs finally subsided, she put on a challenging grin. "I don't buy it."
…
"What?" I questioned.
"I don't buy it. You not being a lesbian." She nodded to herself as if it were a fact. "My intuition is never wrong about these kinds of things. And I haven't seen you looking at any man with a roving eye."
"Maybe that's because I don't have a perverted mind like you." I challenged, not liking what she was insinuating. I was definitely heterosexual.
Sure, I hadn't thought about pursuing a relationship, but that was mostly because I had my work to focus on. Kingdoms didn't defend themselves.
As for marriage? Ridiculous. Why would I even need a husband to do all the chores when I had Erin at home? Sure, husbands probably cost less money and more of that emotional attachment prevalent in those romance novels I occasionally read.
But still! I was heterosexual! Emphatically so!
"Oh, Wynny—"
"Don't ever call me that, again."
Suddenly, Veronica reached out and lightly touched my cheek before leaning her face incredibly close to mine. Our noses were an inch apart and I watched as she licked her lips sensually. I barely registered the blood flowing to my face or how it made Veronica give off a satisfied smile.
Her thumb rubbed against my cheek as we remained in that position. I was too frozen in anxiety…and maybe something else, and she looked like she was enjoying herself too much.
Veronica's lush green eyes continued to bore into mine before she finally backed off. "Alright, I'll accept that excuse for now. But let it be known that the Golden Flamingo is never one to back down from a challenge. Especially when the reward for that challenge is making passionate love with my little Snow-Hare."
It was hard to swallow with the lump in my throat. So I just stared in shock at the blonde that was already backing away towards the chasm's edge.
She smiled sultrily. "But I gotta say, for someone who's into guys, you really seemed to enjoy me taking up your space." She offered a lazy wave. "See you soon, Snow-Hare. Count on it." Then she jumped off the edge and deep into the chasm, towards whatever place she called home.
I just stood there, staring at the spot Veronica had been only moments ago. Feeling a range of emotions that I couldn't even begin to fathom. Confusion. Annoyance. Embarrassment. Relief. Anxiety. Unease. Happiness. Frustration.
But mostly embarrassment. Since my face was still as red as an apple.
I wasn't a lesbian…I wasn't!
…
Curse you, Veronica! For making me doubt my own sexuality! Curse you!
After that level of embarrassment, I went to look for a window to throw myself out of.
After failing to find a suitable window to throw myself out of, I decided to head back to the Inn. It was late after all. Almost Midnight in fact.
After all the craziness of the day, I just wanted to get to my room, order a personal cake (a rare treat), and sleep off all the drama caused by my friend…who I recently found out was a lesbian…and is interested in me…
…
I swear this is just like the plot of 'Fifty Shades of Chicken.'
The point was, nothing, save a direct order from his Eminence, could make me do anything but relax before I retired for the night.
Literally noth—
"Captain Wynn. I hope you had an enjoyable day."
I turned to regard one of my more disciplined guards, Bitters. He was leaned against the entrance to the Inn, looking particularly pleased about something.
"Bitters. What are you still doing up? It's quite late."
"Forgive me, Captain." Bitters bowed. "I know your policy on curfews. But I felt the need to wait here."
"And why is that?" I just wanted him to get on with it. He was the only thing between me and a personal cake. And that is not something you want to get between after a day like mine.
"Well, earlier today, I couldn't help but overhear the consequences for the 'Fishing Rod Champion,' Cobb, should he arrive late." He spat out his title with great loathing before schooling his features into a composed smile. "So I thought you might like to know that he hasn't yet returned to the Inn."
Those words made something snap. And with it, some internal rage began to bubble forth. "He's not back?" I inquired with an outward calm, but an inside storm.
"I'm afraid not. He wasn't in his room and I haven't seen him enter since." He couldn't relay those words fast enough. "And while it pains me to report my fellow companion," He placed a hand over his heart as if the very act wounded him, "I believe that everyone should face the consequences of their actions."
Truer words were never spoken. I thought before storming past Bitters. I warned that idiot not to stay out too late. And what does he do?
Stay out late!
Looks like there was something that could make me forget about relaxing. Spite!
"I also took the liberty of obtaining the complete fifty volume set of Redstone Engineering." Bitters chimed gleefully as he watched me storm off towards Cobb's room. "Anything to ensure the punishment is fully delivered to the unfortunate Cobb. It's in your room on the bed."
"Thank you, Bitters." I gritted out, grateful, but also too mad to thank him properly.
Cobb was supposed to be in his room, contentedly doing nothing to ruin anything. But instead he was apparently NOT in his room, doing whatever he pleased. And expecting to get away with it.
Not on my watch.
And according to my watch, it was midnight on the dot!
As I was walking to his room to see for myself, I was already planning what I'd do. The second Cobb returned to his room, I'd be there. Waiting for him. Ready to spitefully pin him to the wall by his privates and read him all fifty volumes! Through the night if I had to!
Because I was done…DONE…with all the SHIT I had to deal with today!
Veronica, Criminals, a Jibberman, Veronica, Serial Bombers, several dozen monikers for the same thing, VERONICA!
And now I was expected to top it all off with an idiot who couldn't be bothered to come home at a proper hour!?
NO!
I just wanted my well-deserved cake and sleep!
[Cobb]
Walking across that End landscape, with all its bleached End Stone and dangerous Endermen…
Was fairly uneventful thanks to the pumpkins. I literally stared at an Enderman for a minute while wearing the fruit, and it didn't even care. None of them did. They just kept wandering around, doing nothing, and looking menacing while doing it.
"This landscape," Lenz' voice, muffled by the pumpkin, sounded right behind me as he gazed upon the dry stone. "It is so barren and devoid of life."
"Yeah. This is kind of what I expect Wynn's personality to look like." I commented with a chuckle.
"Who is Wynn?"
"Just a scary lady who's going to read me fifty volumes of engineering once I get out of here."
"Oooh, what fun!" Lenz clapped excitedly. "It is a great read. Personally, I believe things pick up at around the eighteenth volume. That is when they start talking about Comparators and their usefulness is the designing of—"
"Are there any pictures?"
Lenz stopped haltingly, shooting me a questioning look before lighting up in realization. "Ah…more sarcasm, right?"
I wish. I thought sadly as my hopes fell away. Maybe Wynn wouldn't notice if I read from the Herobrine book while she read me the fifty volumes.
The End's landscape wasn't confined to just barren rock. There were also tall monoliths of a black crystalline substance that towered high above our heads. Ten pillars, all arranged in a circle, with varying heights that pointed towards the unfathomable darkness above.
…
So…yeah.
Not much to do in the End.
If barren wastelands weren't your thing, there were tall pillars. If tall pillars weren't your thing either, have fun playing with the Endermen that could kill you with a flick of their noodle arms.
Why couldn't my noodle arms have such strength?
"Cobbert." Lenz tugged on my shoulder, turning my attention towards the edge of the floating island. Through the pumpkin head, I saw he was pointing towards a thin line of End Stone, built out off the island like some kind of single block-wide bridge. Suspended over inky, black nothingness.
It went out into the nothingness, further than my eye could perceive. A thin line of bleached stone that only got thinner and thinner until it disappeared from sight.
"Do you believe someone built that?" Lenz suggested.
I shrugged. "Whoever did must have been fascinated with nothing. Because that's all that's out there. And that's all that's out here. Nothing."
"And the craters?" Lenz pointed towards some massive craters in the otherwise flat landscape. Something huge had decimated the ground. An explosion of some kind. Couldn't have been recent though, since there were no End Stone blocks hovering about.
"Trying to blow up nothing?"
"There cannot just be nothing of value here." Lenz scolded with his hands rested on his hips. "Surely there is a use for this End Stone…perhaps an ore available nowhere else. Otherwise, why build the portal?"
"Maybe it's another trap. Getting sent to an alternate dimension is a real day spoiler."
"Indeed." Lenz reached a hand underneath his pumpkin, swapping his glasses for his goggles as he took a better look around.
"Huh." I thought to myself as we strode past some Endermen. "For some reason…I'm feeling a lot of danger right now."
"Perhaps it is because we are surrounded by Endermen." Lenz suggested as he turned his attention to the circle of tall pillars.
"No…no it feels like something worse…" I unconsciously checked my clock, even though it was still spinning with no exact time. "I think it's midnight."
"What makes you assume that?"
"Well, you know how some people get scars from other people, and then those scars turn out to be cool lightning bolt-shaped, which garner a lot of attention, but then later turn out to burn like a hot iron whenever the guy that gave you that scar is close or feels particularly murderous?"
"…No."
"Oh…" I replied lamely, but I didn't want to stop my explanation just because he couldn't relate. "Well, I can feel a great pain…between the legs…so I'm assuming Wynn knows I'm not at the Inn."
"And Wynn is the scary lady?"
"Exactly. See, I knew you were a fast learner."
His pumpkin face beamed at the praise before his eyes lit up for another reason. "Cobbert! I-I see something at the middle of those pillars! It…It looks like a fountain of bedrock."
"What?" I squinted my eyes towards where he was pointing. All I could see was a slightly lighter black blur against an otherwise dark backdrop. "That's a fountain? How can you even see that?"
"An archer needs good eyesight to see what he shoots." Lenz replied sagely as he walked toward the fountain. "There is nothing else here made of bedrock. Therefore, Jeb must have built it with his bedrock-mining machination. As for what purpose, I am not certain. But I am certain that it could be of use."
"Lead the way, college boy." I walked after him, inwardly cringing at how much reading I'd have to listen to. And I was so sure I could get back before midnight, too. The only consolation was that I managed to snap Lenz out of his crazy daze and got a useful book about Mobs…and that Wynn would be forced to endure the book reading as well.
That was something. Misery likes company after all.
"Cobbert!" Lenz called from the fountain. "I think this is the portal!"
Those words were enough to make me rush the rest of the distance until I was standing before the fountain. Inside was the same liquid onyx material from the first portal. Only this one was made of bedrock and in the shape of a fountain. The center of it had a pillar of bedrock jutting out of the liquid onyx, with torches all around.
"So…do we jump in or…"
"Comparators, no!" Lenz shot back as while examining the fountain. "We do not know where this will even take us. For all we know it could sentence us to a worse hell!"
I gestured to the surrounding landscape of Endermen and nothing else. "What could be worse than this?"
"A world without redstone, for one." Lenz walked around the fountain, looking for any clues or signs.
"You know, that is just a chance I'm willing to take." A world without redstone meant no book about redstone. Which meant no reading about redstone, forced or otherwise. I could live with that.
After coming up with nothing, Lenz could only reluctantly agree. "Well…we have already circled the perimeter of the island. Nothing but these pillars and this fountain. And I do not wish to be stranded here forever with a nerd."
I looked at him, insulted. "Did you just call me a nerd?"
"So I suppose we will just have to, how you say, 'wing it.'" Lenz hopped onto the fountain ledge and I mirrored his movements. "Perhaps we should hold hands?"
"I'm not touching your clammy hands." I warned as I looked into the liquid onyx. Small bits of smoke were evaporating off of it. "Just…just close your eyes and jump on three."
It was all or nothing.
"And by three, I don't mean 'one, two, three, go' I mean go on three. Alright?"
"That is what I assumed you meant." Lenz nodded as he adjusted his pumpkin head and wrapped his scarf snugly around his neck.
"One…"
"Two…"
"Three…!"
There was the jump and then falling. Falling…falling…falling…falling…some weird conversation in blue and green text that scrolled by.
'I see the player you mean.'
'King_Cobb?'
'Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts.'
Only it didn't scroll by fast enough. It was super slow. Was it so I could read it all? Screw that! I already was going to read a crap-ton when I got back so why would I want to read more about something I don't even know about!
And Lenz wasn't even there to sit through it—I mean commiserate with. Just me. That was just unfair!
"Uh…excuse me?" I called out. As if hearing me, the scrolling text just stopped. "Yeah, um, can I just skip reading this? I don't really understand it and it's boring me."
'…'
'…'
'What a little shit."
'Indeed. How dare it interrupt our incredibly important and well thought out poem. A reward for it slaying the Ender Dragon.'
"What dragon? I didn't kill any dragon."
'...!'
'Oh SHIT! We've spoiled something that should not have been spoiled!'
'Quick! Just skip to the end and pray it isn't smart enough to notice our mistakes!'
'Right…uh…uh…Ah!'
'Wake up.'
"WAHHH!" I awoke from my bed with a start, rolling off and falling unceremoniously to the floor. I felt a cold sweat cover my body, but I was otherwise fine.
And I was in my room.
"Did…did I sleep in the whole day?" I questioned looking back at my bed. "Was all that End stuff a dream?"
Suddenly, the door slammed open, causing me to shriek. Standing in the doorway was Wynn and the green—haired guard named Bitters.
I began to panic as soon as I saw Wynn's face. She looked livid. But then her face softened when her eyes spotted me on the floor. She looked surprised. "Cobb. You're…You're back."
"Um…yeah." I began, wondering which parts of the day were real and which parts were dreams. How else could I have ended up on my bed? I must have been napping after returning from the redstone fair.
Meanwhile, Bitters was behind Wynn, babbling incoherently. "B-but he-he was…and I was…he wasn't here when I checked…how did—"
"Bitters." Wynn snapped, turning to the guard who straightened immediately despite his confusion. "I believe you need to have your eyes examined. Because it looks to me that Cobb has been in this room napping, and not outside at this late hour."
"I swear to you Captain," Bitters protested as I fumbled to my feet. "I checked a few minutes ago and he wasn't here. He…he must have snuck through the window!"
Wynn raised an eyebrow before striding over to the closed window. "Really? Through a closed window overlooking the chasm, with no nerd pole or ladders nearby? It would be more believable to say he flew here."
"I'm telling you this room was empty last I checked!" Bitters whined.
"And I'm telling you that Cobb was lying on his bed, well before midnight, last I checked." Wynn stated pointing at me.
"But—"
"Enough, Bitters." Wynn silenced him while massaging the bridge of her nose. "It's been a long day, and I wish to enjoy some time for myself before I go to bed. I suggest you do the same…and clear whatever is obstructing your eyes."
Bitters looked like he wanted to protest further, but Wynn's look was all it took to convince him otherwise. Instead, he shot me a look of pure hatred before skulking out into the hall.
Wynn watched him go before turning to me. "So you decided to sleep in?"
"Um…yeah. I guess." I replied, still a bit blurry on the lines between reality and possible dreams. My vision was also a bit blurry too. Like I was looking at Wynn through a pair of glasses or—
"Were you at a costume party or something?" Wynn inquired as she threw away a book from her backpack. Something about redstone.
A costume party? "Why do you ask?"
She pointed at me. "Because you're wearing a pumpkin over your head."
My eyes shot open, realizing what was obstructing my vision, before I ripped the pumpkin off and looked at it. I hadn't gotten a pumpkin at the fair. And I wouldn't have put it on.
I dug through my Inventory, finding the items frames, Herobrine's book, no Note Block or Iron Pick. My Inventory reflected everything I thought happened in the dream.
Which meant it wasn't a dream.
I had actually gone to another dimension, met Lenz, and journeyed into a secret lab in the forbidden part of the Kingdom.
And I wouldn't tell Wynn about any of it.
Because the merciful Alibi Gods had saw fit to connect that fountain portal straight to my own bed. All mere seconds before Wynn discovered I was gone. It didn't matter why or how. All that mattered was that I was about to get away with everything.
"Yes! Costume Party!" I laughed nervously while tossing the pumpkin into my chest. "So how was your day?"
I said it to divert attention away from me, but Wynn seemed to have a lot on her mind as she blew a stray strand of hair from her face. "It was rough. But I think I secured a deal with Daymonte for the railway His Eminence proposed."
"Neat." I replied lamely while examining my bed for any signs of inter-dimensional portals. If It really was connected to the End, where had Lenz ended up?
Actually, maybe it was better he wasn't there. Wynn would want an explanation for why two guys were in a room together.
Besides, wherever he was, Lenz probably ended up in Minecraftia again, just like me. And I was sure he was nearby.
…Maybe.
I probably should go look for him. Even though it's late. At least check the College for him.
I got up to go to the door, but Wynn blocked me. "Hang on. Where do you think you're going?"
"Um…well…you saw that I was here by midnight so now I can go back out right? To see the night life?" I improvised wildly.
Wynn frowned. "While I do appreciate you keeping your word, it is late and time for bed." She turned me around and marched me over to the bed. But it was all done without much force. Almost gently. "I'm sorry for waking you up. I didn't mean to slam the door open."
Aw, crap. Now I felt guilty. "It's no big deal. Really." There was no way I'd be able to go out and look for Lenz without Wynn noticing. It would be better to wait until morning when I was better rested.
"It is a big deal." Wynn continued as she led me back to my bed and laid the covers over me. "I…I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt. I really didn't think you would make it back in time."
I chuckled nervously. "What? Did you think I'd stumble into another dimension or something? Ha. Ha."
"Not something that oddly specific, no. But I did think you'd get in trouble." She withdrew a pair of iron leggings and iron boots from her backpack before tossing them in my chest. "Looks like you proved me wrong."
"Are those for me?" I questioned as I watched the iron gear fall into the chest. "Did you make those?"
"No, I got them off a dead Jibber—I mean, yes!" She polished the armor with a bit of her blouse. "Completely new and not off a dead body. Think of them as thanks for honoring your word and an apology for doubting you."
Double crap. That made me feel even more guilty. I had to either admit the truth or get her something as thanks. I frantically searched my Inventory before zeroing in on something.
"In that case," I began as I withdrew my leather cap. "I noticed you're missing your green leather cap."
"Huh? Oh!" Wynn pressed a hand to her head as if just realizing it was missing. "Yes. I lost it in a minor scuffle. Don't worry about—"
I didn't let her talk herself out of it as I tossed her the cap. It wasn't brand new, but dyed green it would be just as good as her old one. She deftly caught it and blinked at me. "Just wear it. I got kick-ass armor anyway." I gave her a smile that told her how grateful I was for the armor.
She looked between me and the cap before smiling herself and depositing it in her belt. "I'll get some dye for it first thing tomorrow."
"Then on that note, I'll be going to sleep." I yawned loudly before snuggling into my bed. "And don't even think about setting my alarm, because I ditched that Note Block."
Wynn shook her head with a smile before turning off the lights and leaving my room.
That was actually nice. What we did for each other. Even if it resulted from a lie, nobody got hurt.
So it was really nothing to worry about.
…
Then why did it feel like I was forgetting something?
…
…
…!
"The mason!"
Inventory (Cobb): 1 Wooden Shovel, 1 Stone Sword, 1 Golden Sword [Sharpness I, Unbreaking I]{Weak}, 1 Fishing Rod {Weak}, 11 Cobblestone, 64 End Stone, 64 End Stone, 64 End Stone, 35 End Stone, 1 Coal, 18 Torches, 4 Oak Wood Planks, 1 Clock, 2 Signs, 1 Bucket, 10 String, 1 Bone, 6 Baked Potatoes, 17 Pumpkin Pies, 30 Cookies, 1 Cake, 1 Leather Tunic [Dyed Green, Unbreaking I], 1 Crafting Table, 1 Furnace, 10 Rotten Flesh, 1 Arrow, 4 Item Frames, 1 Book {Advanced Mob-Slaying}, 1 Book {Feelings: And How to Destroy Them}, 1 Book {Fifty Shades of Chicken}, 1 Book {The History of Cadboro Bridge}, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Ringwood Entry Pass}, 1 Paper {Daymonte Temporary Entry Pass}
[EXP: 9]
Inventory (Lenz): 1 Bow, 1 Shears, 3 Levers, 4 Wooden Buttons, 3 Stone Buttons, 5 Redstone Torches, 30 Redstone, 7 Redstone Repeaters, 3 Redstone Comparators, 1 Hopper, 3 Blocks of Redstone, 3 Pistons, 8 Gravel, 17 Cobblestone, 10 Torches, 3 Redstone Lamps, 1 Minecart, 1 Compass, 15 String, 17 Carrots, 36 Arrows, 1 Crafting Table, 1 Pumpkin, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Daymonte Entry Pass}
[EXP: 0]
AN: That poor mason. Still waiting for his rocks. He'll get them next chapter.
I felt that this chapter was one of my funnier ones. That is...most of my humor went into the Omake below, but I felt there were some genuinely funny moments above.
The bit about the End Poem after Cobb jumped into the End Fountain...that's kind of my own reaction whenever those words scroll up. I know someone put a lot of work into writing the End Poem and making it sound beautiful...but it's long. And it takes forever to scroll down. So I usually just hit 'esc' and return to my last spawn point. Which is exactly what happened to Cobb.
Don't tell me none of you ever skipped that End Poem after killing the Ender Dragon.
I mean, the first words were from the Poem...but then Cobb interrupted and it derailed the blue and green worded speakers. No real plot significance behind them. Just a subtle reference to the source material.
We say goodbye to Veronica for now. It was fun writing for her and she knew how to make a memorable exit. As well as left an impression on Wynn.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Leave a fav, follow, review, OC, PM, or whatnot. And have a lovely National Tell a Story Day, as well as a...*searches internet for holidays*...National Prime Rib Day...I could not come up with this stuff if I tried.
Omake: Loaded Question
"Hey...Cobb. Do you have a minute?"
Cobb was in the middle of gathering up his colorful rocks for the mason when Wynn entered. She was looking nervous and fidgety with a slight tinge of red on her cheeks. A large contrast to the normally composed Captain.
"Sure. What's up?" Cobb asked before suddenly adopting a horrified look. "Oh God. You're not gonna read the fifty volumes of Redstone Engineering to me anyway, are you?"
"No, no. You're not in trouble." Wynn assured. It bothered him that that was her go to response whenever they talked. Like he was always guilty of something.
Even in the instance where he was guilty of something, like clogging his room's toilet or stumbling into an alternate dimension. It still bothered him.
"I actually…I came here for your opinion." Wynn blurted out before looking away awkwardly.
…
Well, that was a surprise.
The Captain only ever asked his opinion when she couldn't narrow down two choices. And whatever he picked, she would immediately discard in favor of the other option. Her reasoning being, whichever he picked would ultimately be the most absurd.
Was it because of their armor exchange last night? Did it form some sort of unspoken friendship between them?
"It's not something serious. But…it is personal." Wynn continued after noticing my surprised face. "Something I can't ask my guards."
Something personal? Like an opinion on dyed leather armor? Or maybe something to do with her housekeeper, Erin?
Wynn took a deep breath before letting her head fall. Then she raised her head with a deep conviction behind those amber eyes.
"Do you think I'm a lesbian?"
…
Now…when he thought it had something to do with her housekeeper, Erin…he didn't mean in THAT way.
"Uhh…"
"Be honest." Wynn continued, still looking a little embarrassed while Cobb looked downright confused. "I can take the truth."
"I…I don't…what?" Cobb mumbled, feeling like he misheard her.
Wynn turned to the door, checking if anyone was eavesdropping before repeating herself.
"Do you think I'm a lesbian?"
Cobb blinked a few times, shocked at the overall bizarreness of her question. "Just to be clear, you're asking me if I think you're a lesbian?"
"Yes." Wynn nodded. "My clothes, my hair style, my demeanor. Does that all come across as lesbian to you?"
"And…by lesbian…is that a Minecraftia term or…" He trailed off as his Normal Sense came up with a definition that he wanted to be one-billion percent certain was what Wynn was referring to.
"By lesbian, I mean a homosexual woman, yes." She clarified as if reading his mind. "You can see why I didn't want to discuss this with my guards."
Yeah, great for them but what about me!? Cobb internally screamed. He literally had no idea how to respond to such an out-of-the-blue question. What was he supposed to say?
'Now that you mention it, Captain, you do seem a bit lesbian-y. Is this why you have a female housekeeper instead of a male butler?'
Or…
'No, you are definitely not a lesbian…not that there's anything wrong with lesbians, if you are one…not that I doubt you are heterosexual…do gender preferences really matter?'
It felt like either answer would be taken badly. And that was the problem! Since Cobb had no idea whether she was a lesbian or not, he had no idea how to best answer the question.
Did he think she was a lesbian? No. The thought had never crossed his mind. She never showed interest in either male or female. Truth be told, Cobb was under the impression that she was either asexual, or a robot whose only emotions were strict, angry, or stab!
But if he answered no, and she was, would she take offense to it? In this instance, the correct answer was the answer that spared him the most amount of pain.
He needed to bide for time.
"Do you think you're a lesbian?"
Wynn frowned as he answered her question with a question. "Cobb, I'm asking you. Do I look like a lesbian?"
Crap. She didn't go for it. What is a lesbian even supposed to look like? Is there even a visible difference?
His eyes darted to the left and right. He needed to get her to answer her own question. Direct any possible hostility back to her so he won't be on the receiving end of it.
He coughed to clear his throat. "Well…are you sexually attracted to women?"
"No, but—"
"Well, there you go. You're not a lesbian." Cobb hastily answered, trying to slide around Wynn to get to the door. He didn't need to stay and gather up every single rock for the mason, right? Twenty-five percent of them ought to be enough. Maximizing profits was overrated anyway,
"Hang on." Wynn caught his arm before spinning it around, sending him spiraling back towards the chest. "I'm not interested in males either. What I want to know is if I come across as a lesbian."
"Um…I feel like this is a loaded question."
She was getting impatient with his roundabout answers. It showed in her annoyed frown, even as she slowly advanced on him. "Cobb, quit dodging the question.
He kept dodging the question. "I really don't have time to answer." He was being pushed back by the Captain's slow advance. Right towards the bedside table.
"Cobb, just answer truthfully." She looked sincere when she said that, but Cobb had seen her fake emotions when she needed to. "Let's rephrase the question. The very first time you saw me, did I look like someone you would consider dating?"
Oh Christ, that's even worse! How could she even say that with a composed face!?
When Cobb first saw Wynn, his thoughts were somewhere along the lines of, 'Who is this person stopping me from defending myself and why is she preparing to knee me in the—How did I end up in this jail cell?'
Did she look approachable or datable? He had no idea! He had never dated anyone before. Why couldn't Herobrine have written a book on how to date girls? Or better yet, how to escape awkward situations!? Those would have been best sellers!
"I…I…Can we go back to the first question?"
"Fine." Wynn kept pushing him back towards the wall to corner him. No other way to escape the question. When he felt his back hit the wall, Wynn finally stopped advancing. "Do. You. Think. I'm. A. Lesbian?"
Her amber eyes were staring at him, expecting an answer. Cobb's green eyes were frantically looking for a way out, but found none in the Captain's flawless defense.
Was the truth the only viable way out of this situation?
…
Fuck that.
"Look, a criminal!"
Wynn couldn't resist turning to follow Cobb's extended finger, giving him the opportunity to climb onto the bed, and leap towards the door.
Wynn caught on soon enough, however, and had downed a Swiftness and Leaping Potion. Before Cobb could reach the door, Wynn vaulted over his shoulder and was in front of him in an instant, barring his path.
"Cobb. I can't ask anyone else this." She explained as the particles swirled around her. "You're the only one I can ask without injuring my pride."
He tried to dart around her, but she simply grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back before forcing him to a wall. "Don't make this harder, Cobb! Do you think I'm a lesbian?"
"I can't answer something like that!" He argued.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know what the right answer is!" He jumped in the air and pressed his legs against the wall, pushing off into the Captain and sending her staggering into a bookshelf. Cobb quickly got to his feet and again tried for the door.
But he was stopped when two arms came around his vision before wrapping his neck in a choke hold. He felt himself being pressed against the ivory-haired Captain. "Answer the question!"
"No…too awkward!" He choked out before slamming his head into hers. The resulting headache made them both fall to the ground.
He crawled across the room and grabbed the edges of the bed like a lifeline. "Please, magic bed! Take me back to the End!"
Anything was better than having to answer Wynn's awkward questions. However, the bed did not respond to his pleas.
When Cobb turned, he let out a girly scream before Wynn tackled him to the ground. The two rolled around the carpeted floor, Wynn every so often asking him that same awkward question while Cobb kept saying anything to dodge the question.
It ended with Wynn straddling Cobb, trying to catch his flailing arms before finally pinning them to the floor. No more escaping the question.
"Now!" Wynn exclaimed triumphantly, blowing a disheveled strand of hair from her face. "Answer me! Do you think I'm…a…lesbian?"
Wynn's voice grew smaller and smaller, as she turned her head towards something by the door. Cobb turned his head to look, and paled when he saw three of Wynn's guards: Hollie, Spencer, and Noah. And they looked taken aback at what they had just walked into.
Their stringent Captain, straddling a man she saw fit to bring along, in his own room, right by the bed, after several bouts of shouting, looking disheveled and embarrassed, concluded with a personal question about whether he thought she was a lesbian.
All the scene was missing was the both of them naked.
"Apologies, Ma'am!" Hollie bowed low with a faint flush of red on her cheeks. "We didn't mean to interrupt you two."
Oh God, they were already drawing conclusions. And Wynn, with her face turning several shades redder, was adding fuel to the fire. Meanwhile, Spencer and Noah were shooting Cobb impressed looks and subtle thumbs up.
He was a dead man.
"We'll come back later after…you've concluded your business." Hollie finished awkwardly.
Here lies Cobb. He was brutally murdered by Wynn as the only way to convince her guards that they didn't have sex.
When Hollie closed the door, Wynn just remained frozen in her position, still straddling Cobb while pinning his arms to the floor. If she was going to kill him, it couldn't be a better time.
He hoped it would be fast. Merciful.
Though considering how embarrassed she looked when caught straddling him…
"Wynn. I don't think you're a lesbian."
But Wynn didn't seem to have heard him. Slowly, she got off of him. Her ivory hair obscuring her eyes. Then she walked to the nearest window.
And proceeded to throw herself out of it.
AN: That outta hold the ravenous shippers for a while. I swear they're like sharks smelling blood. Though in fairness, I feel this is one of my funnier Omakes.