AN: 18,000 Views! 54 Favs! 54 Follows! Awesome!

This chapter was kind of fun to write. But it's a bit late since I saw the new X-men movie. It was good, but the movie people gave us tickets for their new, acoustic theater or whatever. Blew my eardrums out it was so loud. And it was expensive!

But they did have those reclining seats...

Anyway, congrats to Laner for guessing last week's riddle correctly. The answer was 'Dozens'! Enjoy your cookie and your acknowledgement.

(::)

Puzzle: In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Disclaimer: I don't own Minecraft. If I did, I wouldn't be having so many problems getting on my Minecraft account!

Beta: Void of Shining Darkness

Chapter 44

Scout

[Noman]

A week ago, if someone had told me I would wake up one day, slaving away in a cobblestone mine with no hope of escape, I would have thought them ridiculous.

Then, if that same someone had proceeded to tell me I'd attempt to break out of prison by fitting a poop-bucket to my fist and bashing through the cell bars, I'd have thought them crazy.

And if that same someone had continued with their absurd news with something like…off the top of my head…a random man would fall through the ceiling of the cell room, talking about badges and humming his own personal brand of theme music…

I would have put as much distance between that crazy someone and I as humanly possible.

However, here I was, Inventory-less, face in the ground and arms pinned to my sides by the cell guards, looking upon the random man named MarbleFinder as he stood outside the cell, watching us expectantly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" One of the cell guards questioned as he raised his sword towards MarbleFinder. Honestly, it was bad enough I was pinned down, but did they have to curse so frequently? I could feel my innocent nature getting tainted by their slurs.

At the question, MarbleFinder looked around, as if wondering whether he was being addressed or not. "Well…I'm MarbleFinder. And I the fuck think I'm the Scout that's about to get the coveted Prison-Break Badge."

"A Scout?" One of the cellmates questioned with what sounded like fear in his tone. "Oh no…" He was joined by a symphony of groans emanating from several other cell mates.

"Judging by your awestruck exclamations," MarbleFinder continued, completely mistaking the groans, "I take it you've all heard of the amazing guild known as the Scouts. But if you haven't, I wouldn't mind getting my Explain the Scouts' Introduction Badge."

"Kill him."

At that command, the cell guards readied their swords and approached the blond Scout…whatever that was. It sounded like some kind of organization.

MarbleFinder backed towards the wall, but raised a finger to halt the guards. "One moment please…" Then he proceeded to do the strangest thing.

He spun around on his foot several times. Round and round he spun, getting faster and faster. If he was trying to confuse his attackers, it was definitely working since the guards just gaped at his antics. Eventually, however, MarbleFinder got so dizzy that he lost his balance and fell over into the wall, his eyes spinning.

"Ugh…I really hate that signal…" He mumbled as he tried to get to his feet but tumbled over each time.

"Signal?" One of the guards questioned. "What signal?"

"Oh, well my fellow Scouts are waiting just outside the area for confirmation that this is the place capturing stray Crafters." MarbleFinder explained easily. "I scanned a map of this place and made copies for them before coming down here. That way, they can see my location as a blip on the map. And when my blip spins around frantically…"

At those words, several Crafters fell through the hole Marble had made in the ceiling. They made a rather chaotic pile of flailing limbs and bodies on the floor. "Yes! My fellow Scouts have made their dramatic entrance!"

"Ow!"

"Getoff!"

"Hey! Who's touching my butt?"

"How are we supposed to get our Dynamic Entrance Badge like this!?"

"There's always the Awkward Entrance Badge."

"Hey, yeah!"

"But I already have that one!"

"Dangit, Marble! You couldn't have laid water or cobwebs for us to land on?"

"Yes." MarbleFinder continued as if his fellow Scouts hadn't spoken or screwed up the landing. "Very dramatic."

"The fuck is this!?" One of the guards raged.

"Language, please!"

"Language please, indeed!" Marble shouted as he withdrew a sword from his backpack. However, it was different than any sword I'd seen. The blade was longer and the guard was more rounded.

As the first guard swung his sword at Marble, he deftly dodged it before countering with a slash of his own. Their battle signaled the other Scouts to do battle with the other guards. Meanwhile, the cellmates not being pinned down decided there was no better time to make an escape. They rushed towards the armed guards and overpowered them by sheer numbers.

When a cellmate tackled the guard pinning me to the floor, I quickly picked myself up and looked around the cell. The brunt of the fighting was taking place near the cell entrance where the Scouts were. Only a few guards were still standing within the cell; the others either knocked out or left as a pile of gear strewn across the floor.

Oh, God… I averted my eyes as one cellmate violently brought his fist smashing into a guards face, over and over.

I didn't know where I fit into all the violence. All I had as a weapon was a poop bucket. Should I help fight? Or leave it to the other cellmates? Or try and mitigate the death permeating the cell?

What was the right thing to do?

What would a hero do?

"Gah! Somebody get this guard off of me!" I turned to see the head cellmate struggling to keep a guard's sword from slitting his throat.

On instinct alone, I rushed forward, bucket reared back, and slammed it atop the guard's head. The momentary pain and lack of vision was enough distraction for the head cellmate to twist out of the guard's grip before delivering a swift uppercut to the guard's chin, knocking him out.

I would have felt proud at my actions were it not for the head cellmate lifting the bucket off the unconscious guard only to bring the bottom of it crashing down upon his face. Over and over. Until…

I looked away while trying to shove my way to the cell entrance through all the fighting. It didn't take a second glance to see that the guards were getting brutally maimed by the Crafters they had mercilessly had under their thumbs.

It was pure, primal, bloodshed. Something I wished to avoid.

However, making it outside the cell wasn't any better. The Scouts had weapons, but were equally as violent in dispatching the guards. MarbleFinder slashed and blocked with his gold weapon, pushing the guard back.

After a particularly tense deadlock, Marble got into a peculiar stance, his blade held at his side, edge facing inward as if sheathed at his belt. The guard took the opportunity to rush forward…

But Marble was faster. In a blink, he was already past the guard, his blade fully extended as if he had struck. The guard stood facing away, frozen, his sword half-raised to strike, before he exploded in a burst of gear.

"Man, I bet I looked cool doing that…" Marble commented as he hung his golden blade at his belt. He noticed me staring and offered a salute. "Do not worry, prisoner! Scout Marble—that's me—will ensure you break out of this prison tout de sweet!"

I took a step back in hesitation. Whoever these Scouts were, they certainly came at the right time. However, they seemed a little odd—no, a sizable portion of odd with a dollop of odd whipped cream and drenched in chocolate odd sauce.

And a cherry on top. An odd cherry.

I was roused from my metaphorical dessert comparison as Marble walked past me towards the cell. It seemed that all the guards had been…taken care of…and their weapons and armor distributed amongst the cellmates.

"So you're all the Crafters that went missing in the Plains?" Marble asked the group while scratching his head. "I thought there'd be more of you."

The cellmates looked wary of Marble and the Scouts. Probably for the same reasons I had. But there was something more to it. Judging by the weary groans they were giving them, the Scouts must have had an infamous reputation.

"Alright, don't all answer at once." Marble joked good-naturedly as he waved an arm over his shoulder. "Well, freedom is this way so if you'd just follow that'd be great."

The cellmates shared some unsure glances with each other. Surely they'd go along with it, just to escape prison if nothing else.

The head cellmate walked forward to speak for his fellows. "We owe you one for breaking us out. But I know enough about you Scouts to doubt your loyalties." He looked each Scout in the eye as he spoke this, as if hoping his glare could reveal any subterfuge. However, the Scouts remained upbeat and unaffected by the stare. "How do we know you'll stick to breaking us out?"

Marble laughed. "You know how hard it is to get the Prison-Break Badge? It requires locating a prison, breaking into said prison, and escaping said prison with at least one living prisoner!" He gestured around the cell room. "This place is pretty weak in terms of security. It was just hard to find. But it still technically counts as a prison because there's a cell with people inside."

He was describing it like he was fulfilling prerequisites instead of freeing trapped men. Was that all he saw us as? An achievement?

More importantly, would he have freed dangerous criminals from a high security prison just to fulfill those requirements? Just for a badge?

No. There was no way that could be right…

…could it?

"So you only need to get one of out of here, alive." The head cellmate commented with a scowl. "That's hardly a guarantee for their safety."

One of the Scouts dragged a hand across their face. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, we've already gotten our Mass Murdering Badge. So there'd be no mileage in killing any of you."

"That doesn't make us feel better at all!" One of the cellmates argued.

"You Scouts are all the same! Agents of chaos!"

"Hey!" Marble frowned as he pointed at himself. "We represent chaotic good…chaotic neutral at worst!"

"Yeah, right!" Another cellmate chimed in. "All you care about are your precious badges!"

"Don't insult the badges!" One of the Scouts shouted.

"ENOUGH!" Marble and the head cellmate shouted in unison, immediately silencing the crowd.

"This place is still crawling with guards as well as other prisoners. Now I'm gonna need a guarantee that you'll help all those men and these men behind me escape. Not just one." He gestured to all the cellmates. "They all have families that miss them and they deserve freedom after the years they spent in this hellhole…except that guy in the black suit." He pointed to me. "He only got here this morning."

Couldn't argue with that.

"So do I have your word?" The head cellmate turned to Marble who was busy crossing something out in that book of his. "Marble?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. I was checking off the Shout in Unison Badge. What were you talking about?"

The head cellmate gave him a flat look before turning to his fellow cellmates. "Screw this. We're breaking ourselves out."

The cellmates all cheered as they followed the head cellmate towards the door, armed with swords and makeshift weapons.

"Wait! Come back!" Marble begged as he clung to the head cellmate's leg. "Let us help! Otherwise we can't claim the badge!"

"Like I care!" He shook his leg. "Now get off!"

I watched their argument as they left the room, leaving me by myself.

I wanted to go with them—if only as the best chance of escape—but I had to go back for the Severe Shield and all my other gear. If I recalled correctly, Nana Widow said she'd examine it herself. The last I saw of it was when she had her men take it upstairs in her tavern.

So, with great reluctance, I searched the leftover gear from the fallen guards for anything I could use. There were a few bits of food and a multitude of blocks I could use to build a staircase. Any tools had been taken by the cellmates for weapons.

I looked up at the ceiling, towards the hole Marble and the Scouts had fallen through. If they survived the fall, it couldn't be that high up. Though it was only a one by one hole. I'd have to break apart the cobblestone to make a proper staircase…and all without a pickaxe.

I sighed wearily as I began my ascent, breaking apart the first piece of cobblestone with my only available item: A cooked fish.

"Grr…come on you flimsy fish…I want to see daylight again!"

Digging my way out with a fish proved…frustrating, but not impossible. I supposed before pickaxes were discovered, Crafters had to break most blocks by hand. And if they could do it, so could I.

After the umpteenth bit of stone, I finally felt the cool relief of fresh air. I hoisted myself out of the hole, expecting the warm embrace of the sun. Instead, I was greeted by the starry night sky.

I had spent a whole day underground…or a whole day digging with a fish. Either way I was out now.

I glanced around to spot some fence posts with armored horses tied to them. They must have belonged to the Scouts.

As for the Val-Piege Tavern, I spotted it over the hill. Its illumination proved a stark contrast with the plain's darkness. There were a few silhouettes of Mobs patrolling nearby.

However, one thing about the tavern I didn't notice before was that it had a ceiling of dirt hovering about a hundred blocks above. I must have been so preoccupied with yesterday's rainstorm that I didn't see it. It completely overshadowed the tavern…

And probably obscured it from view on any maps!

Yeah…if grass blocks were placed above the tavern, the map's overhead view would just see it as more grass among the plains. That was probably why it didn't show up on the maps. Nana Widow had thought ahead to keep her tavern a secret.

Keeping that in mind, I hurried forward towards the tavern. Since it was nighttime, I was certain my black suit and dark hair would keep me relatively camouflaged from the watchful eyes of the guards.

However, the roaming Mobs were another story.

I dodged Skeletons and their arrows and kept my distance from the Creepers, taking a roundabout route to the tavern, before I hid myself below an open window. Peering inside, I saw several bad guards sharing drinks and telling jokes.

Not good. I thought in frustration. I last saw my gear get taken upstairs, but the stairs were in full view of the guards. There was no way I could get there without alerting them.

"Maybe I could make a diversion…" I whispered to myself as I contemplated my options. "Or should I just try to climb from the outside?"

"Why are we whispering?"

"Because I—EEP!"

I exclaimed in surprise upon discovering that MarbleFinder was crouching right beside me, curiously peering at my shocked response.

"Hey, did you guys hear that?" I froze as one of the bad guards spoke from inside. "It sounded like an 'eep'."

I clamped my mouth shut, not trusting my own mouth to remain silent.

"Nah, that's just the wind you're hearing." Another guard dismissed.

I relaxed a bit, relieved that the other guards hadn't noticed me…that is, before Marble had chosen that moment to cup his hands over his mouth and make a loud whooshing noise.

"Whoosh! I'm the wiiiiiind~! WHOOOOOOOOSH!"

"See? What'd I tell you?" The guard inside spoke again with a bit of a slur. "That's definitely the sound that wind makes. Now come on and enjoy another drink!"

"…Alright."

Marble turned to me and offered a silent thumbs up, as if I should be grateful for his assistance.

The only thing I was grateful for was the woozy effects of alcohol on the mind. There was no way those guards were sober.

"What are you doing here!?" I hissed under my breath. "Why aren't you helping the other cellmates?"

"Well, I wanted to," Marble pouted with folded arms, "but they were arguing about whether to save everyone and escape or kill the people responsible for imprisoning them. When I offered my input, they just told me to fuck off." I quickly clamped my hands over my ears to block out the word. "So then I turned around and saw you digging your way up with a fish. And I was all like—what a weird guy—and you were all like—I'm a man on a mission! I'm too good to escape via doors!—So I decided to follow you, help you escape, and earn my badge!"

I was still hung up on the part where he thought I was the weird one, but I quickly shook my head of those thoughts. "Look, I appreciate…whatever you think you're trying to do, but I'm not escaping right now. I'm trying to get my Inventory back."

"Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then escape, right?" It seemed Marble had a one-track mind.

"Yes. Then escape. But right now, Inventory."

"Is there any way I can help?"

"That's very polite of you to offer, but no tha—"

"You need those guards in there dead?" He readied his blade and I had to frantically shake my head to convince him otherwise.

"No! No! I don't want you to kill people. I just—"

"A diversion, then?" He rubbed his chin in thought before his eyes lit up. "I'm on it!"

"Wait! I didn't say—!"

But he was already gone, humming his own theme tune as he rounded the tavern.

I could see why the cellmates let out annoyed groans the second the word 'Scout' was uttered. I could only assume the rest of them were as reckless and random as Marble.

I briefly wondered whether I should let him be the distraction or find another way in before I heard the tavern's door slam open. "The tavern's on FIRE! Everybody out! Now!" Marble shouted as he waved his arms wildly. The half-drunk guards turned around fearfully before heeding the Scout's warning. They all ran out of the tavern, not even bothering to doubt his words.

I couldn't believe how easy he made it. He cleared them out with just a few words. Even if they were partially drunk, that was still an impressive feat.

With nobody to stop me, I hopped through the window and hurried up the stairs. There were a few doors leading to separate rooms, if for nothing else but to give off the appearance of a proper tavern.

Most of the rooms, were typical of what one would expect in any tavern. Bed. Chest. Window. Furniture. Perhaps some of them housed the slave-driving guards that worked us to the bone.

Then I spotted it. A room at the end of the hallway with a sign labeled 'Widow's Abode' followed by a 'DO NOT ENTER'. It practically screamed of the place where my Inventory was taken.

I opened the door just a crack and peered inside. It was a lavish room with carpet, a double bed, and stacked high with chests overflowing with gear. Over in the corner were blocks of Emeralds and Gold, piled high within a metal cage. Almost like what someone might find in a Treasury Building.

Was that all taken from the Crafters imprisoned here? Or is it from the cobblestone business these people have?

I didn't reflect too long on that for I saw Nana Widow herself walk into my line of vision along with two other guards flanking her. She was reading a book to herself.

A book that looked remarkably like the one from my Inventory.

"The Severe Shield…Hmm?" To my horror, she went over to one of the chests and withdrew a shining diamond chestplate that must have been my artifact. "Interesting."

"What is it, Nana Widow?" One of the guards spoke with a bow.

She frowned as she turned the chestplate over in her hands. "Seems our recent 'guest' has brought us quite the find…" She flipped a few pages in the book and her eyes flashed with interest. "One of nine, in fact."

"One of nine?"

Oh no, she's getting everything from the book!

Nana Widow suddenly smiled as she placed the book down and held the chestplate a bit closer to herself. "Tell me, boys. Have you heard of the legendary Voda Shlem?"

"You mean that old Dover Plains myth about the limitless water source?" One of the guards chuckled in disbelief before suddenly realizing whose presence he was in. "Apologies, Nana Widow."

The old lady ignored the insolence as she gazed upon her reflection in the Severe Shield's diamond surface. There was a deep greed in her eyes that I didn't like.

"Legend tells us that Qorn, the first King of Dover Plains and one of the First 10 Crafters to spawn, used a powerful artifact in times of great drought to saturate the farmland necessary to feed the entirety of his people." The hushed passion she used in telling the story, I had to admit, had captured my attention, causing me to lean the door open just a bit more. "That artifact was the Voda Shlem…"

"But…but that's just a myth, right?" One of the guards questioned hesitantly. "I mean…no one's discovered an enchantment like that. An infinite water source wherever you walked? Making barren soil fertile? Somebody would have found something like that by now!"

"Yeah," the other guard bolstered. "And even if there was something like that, where would it come from?"

Nana Widow smiled as she put on the Severe Shield. "Why don't we ask the 'guest' that brought us this chestplate and book to find out?"

The guards looked at each other questioningly before following Nana Widow to her door. Realizing that I was about to be discovered, I backed away and hid inside the nearest room, making sure to turn off the lights.

"Actually, before we go…" I heard Nana Widow speak with barely contained excitement. "Would one of you care to test something for me?"

"Absolutely, Nana Widow."

"I want one of you to strike me." I heard the surprised gasps of the guards but I was too busy recoiling in horror.

"Nana Widow…I didn't think you were into such things."

"I guess everyone has their own fetishes."

"No you imbeciles!" Nana Widow growled. "Just…strike me with your sword. And if not that, just your fist. That's an order!"

Oh God. I thought to myself as I clutched my mouth in disgust. She was going to test the Severe Shield's defenses on her own men.

"Well, if you're sure." I heard the metallic 'shing' of a sword being drawn from a belt before hearing it come crashing down on diamond.

Then I heard the sickening noise of a bunch of gear hitting the floor, followed by a yelp of shock from the other guard.

"Rico! My God…He's dead!"

"Looks like it works after all." Nana Widow sounded pleased as she continued down the hall. "Leave him." She called back to the confused guard. "I'll get one of the slaves to clean that up later."

"Y-yes…Nana Widow…" I heard the reluctance in his voice along with the sounds of both of their footsteps echoing down the hall, before leaving me in silence.

With the coast clear, I left my hiding place, pausing only to remorsefully survey the remains of the dead guard. Once again, the Severe Shield had claimed another life. Whenever someone put that chestplate on, somebody always ended up dead. Every time.

What was Notch thinking giving power like that to a Newb? What was Herobrine thinking making something that dangerous!?

At least with the Voda Shlem it made sense. If what Nana Widow had said was true, the artifact was used for good: Feeding an entire Kingdom. Why couldn't I have started with an artifact like that? Something good and benevolent.

Where was the good in the Severe Shield?

Out of respect for the dead guard, I gingerly lifted his Head off the dirty floor and placed it upon a table. Some small shred of dignity. I also left his gear undisturbed as I entered Nana Widow's room.

I wasted no time in picking up the Artifact List that she had left behind. Then I went to the chest she withdrew the Severe Shield from and discovered all my other gear. The emeralds, the sword, the Enchanted Golden Apples. All of it…except for the Severe Shield.

How was I going to get that back?

"Fire! Everybody out!"

At that scream, I turned around to see, once again, Marble behind me. However, he looked like he was disguised as one of the guards so as to not arouse suspicion. Yet, for some reason, he was still screaming about fire.

"Marble, your distraction already worked." I tried to calm him down. "You don't need to convince anymore people that there's a fire."

"But there is a fire."

I blinked in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, see, I figured just yelling 'fire' wouldn't be enough to sell the diversion. So I took the initiative to light the tavern on fire!" As he spoke this, he whipped out a flint and steel and burned Nana Widow's carpet.

"Hang on!" I cried in distress as I knocked the tool out of his hands. "Why would you feel the need to 'sell' the diversion!? More importantly, why would you light the tavern on fire while we're still inside!?"

"Well, duh!" He made his face look stupid as if it was obvious. "How else am I supposed to get my Liar-Liar-Tavern's-on-Fire Badge?"

"That canNOT be a real thing!"

"Says you!"

"Says Common Sense!"

"Common Sense can kiss my ass!"

"Language!"

"…Buttcheek, then!"

It wasn't like me to raise my voice with someone! Marble's stupidity was affecting my attitude. That…and probably being in a burning building. The fire was spreading through the carpet pretty fast.

I couldn't get distracted by his antics. I had to stay focused. So, with a deep breath that quickly became an unhealthy inhalation of smoke, I turned back to the chest holding my Inventory.

As I reclaimed my gear and sorted it in my backpack, I flipped through the artifact list until I got to the page about the Severe Shield. Any attack I tried to make would only kill me, and the wielder was given so much extra Health that it would take an army just to whittle it down. Not to mention, the army would be killed in its efforts.

Well, who was I kidding? It's not like I even had an army anyway.

"Nana Widow!" A shout was heard from outside and I quickly ran over to the window with Marble alongside me to see it.

Down below was a small army of cellmates, armed with swords and armor, and looking ready for a fight. It must have been the group Marble had mentioned that wanted revenge on Nana Widow. The head cellmate wasn't among them. "We've come to kill you! Come out now or we'll burn your tavern to the ground!"

"Um…actually I think it's already on fire?" I heard one of them point out.

"What!? Alright, who jumped the gun!?"

"If you want me to come out," an old female voice laughed into the night, "then here I am."

Nana Widow had walked outside, alone, without any weapons or potions. All she was wielding was the Severe Shield.

Unfortunately, that was all she needed to take on the angry cellmates.

"This is bad." I backed away from the window as I scanned the information about the Severe Shield with a more critical eye.

"Losing all your badges bad or…" Marble trailed off as he kept his eyes trained below. "That old lady has guts though. She's the bad guy…is it wrong to be rooting for the bad guy? I just can't see myself rooting against an old lady."

I ignored the blond Scout as I kept scouring the page. Maybe sniping her would work—No! Projectiles were just as useless as swords…except for potions.

Potions could hit the Severe Shield without any penalty to the thrower. But what potion would be useful enough in stopping an invincible Crafter?

…

Or maybe…the key wasn't in one potion, but two!

"Whoa!" Marble gasped in surprise. "That old lady just took out two of 'em! Without even moving! Was it a Thorns Enchantment?"

I tuned out his commentary as I searched the chests for potions. If I remembered correctly, I needed a Slowness Potion, followed by…what did that one cellmate say?

…Right! A Potion of Weakness!

Together, they would do to Nana Widow what they did to me.

"Geez, now I feel kinda bad rooting for this old lady. She's destroying them without even trying!"

I coughed as the fire grew to dangerous proportions. The smoke was suffocating, burning my throat as I struggled to look for the proper potions. The fire had finished devouring the carpet and was now engulfing the walls, almost running up them.

There's nothing here…maybe it's in the bar downstairs!

I turned to the door, but stopped when I saw it was blocked by flames. Instead, I took my wooden axe and broke apart the burning floor, opening up a hole to the lower floor.

As I was about to jump down, I turned to see Marble still watching the battle outside. "Marble! The place is on fire! Come on!"

"Hang on, just give me a second." He waved away as he kept his eyes glued to the battle. "The old lady is telling the angry mob to get back into their cells. Maybe if they had let me help they wouldn't be in that situation!"

"Marble!" It was no use. Nothing could pry him from the battle. Nothing except…

"If you don't leave now…um…you won't be able to help me escape! Then you wouldn't get your badge!"

Before the words had finished exiting my mouth, Marble grabbed my sleeve and dove down the hole with a scream of, "For the Badge!"

We hit the ground hard, rolling onto the floor as the fire spread more and more. Marble must have started the fire below before he shouted his distraction because the bar tables were mostly charred.

I shielded my eyes from the heat as I made my way to the bar. However, I was stopped when Marble yanked my sleeve yet again. "The way out is this way! Come on, I want my badge!"

"Just…I need to get some potions first!" I tried to get out of his grasp. The bar was already starting to catch.

"Well, then at least eat one of those apples." He pointed to the Enchanted Golden Apples at my belt. "One of their effects is Fire Resistance! You could just walk through the flames."

"Wha…really?" I took one out and hesitated only a moment before devouring it. I only had ten of them, but what better time was there than now to use one?

Upon eating the apple, I immediately felt energized, as if nothing could hurt me. Like I was empowered by a golden flame.

Four tattoos appeared on my arm. A large red heart. A grey shield with a black Pegasus emblazoned upon it. A white, hot fireball. And a red heart bordered by gold.

It was then I knew that the flames wouldn't hurt me, so I quickly rushed forward to the bar and searched the chests for the proper potions. Even as the flames licked my arms, I felt nothing but a faint breeze.

The chests were completely stocked with Weakness Potions and Slowness Potions, but they weren't splash potions like the ones Spark used. Nana Widow probably counted on the Crafters to drink the potions themselves.

Still, there had to be a way to convert them into splash potions. There was a brewing stand present. "Marble!" I called out, even though I couldn't see him through the fire. "I need to make these into splash potions! How do I—?"

"Gunpowder!" I heard him call out. "Put some gunpowder in the brewing stand! Also, do you mind getting me a fire resistance potion? I think I've caught fire."

Taken aback by how nonchalant he sounded about burning alive, I popped the two potions into the brewing stand, along with a fire resistance one I found amongst the chests, and finished with a lone bit of gunpowder I luckily had on hand.

The stand simmered as it prepared the potions, my hand carefully positioned to take them out at a second's notice while also keeping them from burning in the fire.

When they finished, I scooped them up and leapt over the bar. I spotted Marble running around while on fire and quickly chucked the amber one at him, stopping the damage he was taking. Then, together, we burst outside into the fresh, non-smoky, night air.

I didn't even have time to take a breather if I wanted my chestplate back. I looked up, spotting Nana Widow amongst piles and piles of dead Crafters' gear and Heads. She was openly taunting the cellmates, daring them to attack.

And not focusing on me at all.

I quickly crept behind her, potions at the ready, while she just cackled at the cellmates.

Almost…

"Yeah, Nowhere! You creep up on that old lady!"

Gosh darnit, Marble! I internally screamed at the blonde's cheer. Even as Nana Widow whirled around in open-mouthed surprise.

It was now or never! "Time for a taste of your own medicine!" I called out as I chucked the potions at her. They both hit as she raised a fist to punch me.

If her fist connected…

I screwed my eyes shut, sure I was done for. However, when no pain came, I carefully opened my eyes to see Nana Widow frozen in the same paralysis she used on every cellmate she captured.

Poetic Justice.

No longer worried by her attacks, I stepped behind her and grabbed the Severe Shield, making sure not to cause damage in any way and activate the artifact's crippling defense. Then, I lifted it off her shoulders before depositing it in my Inventory. No longer to do any further harm.

As for Nana Widow, she was desperately struggling to move anything. "No! It's mine! You slaves don't deserve the power! You're nothing but insects!"

I opened my mouth to retort, but was pushed aside as the other cellmates descended upon the paralyzed old lady. It seemed they weren't taking kindly to the way she was talking about them. Or the way she brutally imprisoned and killed all/some of them.

Even surrounded by so much hatred, she kept cursing them all out. Bitter to the very end.

"Whoa…" Marble stood beside me looking impressed. "That old lady took on guys twice your size without even touching them. What…what's the Enchantment on that thing?"

Before he could draw attention to the chestplate or I could witness the brutal beating of Nana Widow, I backed away and fled into the plains. Even though I wished nobody else had to die, she read the book. She knew of the other eight artifacts. That information had to be kept secret.

As for getting to Dover Plains, the last known location of the Voda Shlem, I had to go by foot since my horse was nowhere to be found. Either burned along with the tavern or escaped in the chaos.

"Hey! Wait up!" Marble, the irksome Scout, called from behind as he jogged to catch up. "You gotta thank me for helping you escape! I need to hear the words! It's a requirement!"

Maybe he'd stop following me if I ignored him.

"Nowhere!"

"…"

"NOWHERE!"

"…"

"I want my badge!"

Inventory (Noman): 1 Diamond Chestplate {Severe Shield}, 1 Diamond Sword {Sharpness I}, 1 Bow {Infinity}, 1 Wooden Pickaxe, 1 Wooden Axe, 1 Crafting Table, 2 Oak Wood Planks, 1 Book {Notch Mission II}, 1 Book {Artifact List}, 1 Book {Citizenship Information}, 1 Paper {Entry Pass}, 1 Map {Dover Plains}, 1 Arrow, 1 Glass Bottle, 1 Potion of Invisibility {8:00}, 40 Steaks, 1 Cooked Fish, 9 Enchanted Golden Apples, 64 Emeralds, 22 Emeralds, 2 Bones, 12 Rotten Flesh

[EXP: 0]

AN: This chapter is brought to you in part by Badges.

Yeah, Marble and the Scouts kind of have a badge obsession. They're not bad, but they're not exactly good either. As Marble put it, they're Chaotic Neutral.

RIP Nana Widow. What a two-faced B-word she was.

This chapter kinda showed off the power of the Severe Shield and how dangerous it can be. And that's only one of the nine artifacts Noman's looking for. Will he find the Voda Shlem in Dover Plains? Will Marble get the coveted Prison-Break Badge?

Well, I know the answers. And you don't. (^_^)

And...I can't believe I actually wrote this Omake...I was running out of ideas, and...well...don't judge...

Omake: Fifty Shades of Chicken (I)

Bryan was pacing back and forth, looking a combination of nervous and determined, as he rehearsed what he was going to say.

"Let's see… Honey, there's something I— No, no that'll never work!" He rubbed his chin in thought. "Perhaps…Honey, you know I love you, but— Ugh, that's even worse! How am I ever—?"

Suddenly, the door opened. The object of Bryan's nervousness had arrived at last.

"Henrietta!" He exclaimed. "You…you got my message, I see." Bryan looked down at his feet, not entirely prepared for this talk. He'd have to wing it. "There's…there's something I need to talk to you about."

"…"

"Now, before you protest…please, just let me speak my mind. Afterwards, you can give me your answer."

"…"

"Thank you." Bryan was wringing his hands, a bundle of nerves desperate to get his message across to his beloved. "We…we've been dating for a while now…and…and I've been thinking whether we should take our relationship to the next step."

"…" Henrietta had her gorgeous ebony eyes focused solely on Bryan. A bit of hope brimming through.

"But at the same time…" Bryan ran a hand through his blond hair, trying to voice his thoughts. "At the same time, I know how lucky I am to have you. Someone like you…so full of life…a sunbeam of warmth for my sad loneliness…I'm not sure I deserve someone like you."

"…"

"You're successful. You have your own billion-emerald industry. You've probably met guys more charming or wealthy or loving than I could possibly match, and that…that worries me." Bryan felt a weight leave him with that confession. "I'm worried that I'll hold you back from a happier life."

"…"

"S-so…" Bryan stuttered as he pulled out a gleaming diamond, a symbol of a proposal. "I w-want to give you this…b-but…if you have any doubts about me…"

Bryan trailed off as Henrietta walked up to him. She had eyes for nobody but him as she placed a feather-light wing upon his leg, and lovingly whispered:

"Bruck Bruck"

"Oh, you always know just what to say!" Bryan exclaimed as he lifted Henrietta and twirled her around. She clucked blissfully, nuzzling his arm affectionately. "I love you, Henrietta!"

"Bruck Br—"

*SLAM*

Suddenly a second chicken slammed the door open, alarming everyone to her presence.

Bryan gasped. "Henifer!? My ex-girlfriend!? What a shocking turn of events!"

"Bock Bock!" Henifer shouted angrily as she waddled over to Henrietta and began squawking and pecking at her feet. Henrietta waddled away fearfully, calling out for help.

"Henifer, NO!" Bryan shouted as he lifted Henrietta above the enraged ex. Henifer, meanwhile, was desperately trying to leap up and continue her assault on the poor chicken. "Henifer, we agreed to see other people! Don't take it out on Henrietta!"

Bryan quickly reached into his belt for some seeds and waved them above Henifer, getting her attention with the tempting treat. However, as he tried to lead her away, he forgot that Henrietta shared the same love of seeds. She squirmed within his hold until finally breaking free and diving for the seeds…

Right on top of Henifer. The two rolled around in the seeds, a mixture of anger, jealousy, and an insatiable craving for seeds. As each respective chicken devoured its meal, tiny hearts began seeping from them. Then, in one particularly close tumble…

"Cluck Cluck."

A tiny baby chicken emerged between them.

Bryan visibly paled. "This isn't quite how I expected our talk to go."

AN: If you're wondering why this is nothing like the book it's based off of, that's probably because I never, ever, ever want to read a book like that.

EVER.