TW: eating disorder (anorexia)
An: The trigger warning is surface level. I don't go into depth about the disorder, but I just wanted to make you as a reader fully aware of what is in this story. Thank you for reading.
Schroder's life has been dedicated to the piano since he was four years old. By the age of seven, he managed to play all of the songs in his mother's classical music book. He began to memorize Beethoven's work by listening to all of his father's records. He had taken three lessons in his life. Each lesson was with a new teacher, for when they heard his talent, they simply told him they weren't qualified for his level. So, Schroder played alone, always learning more and more.
When he wasn't playing piano, he was humming Beethoven's tunes. Oh, how he loved Beethoven. He wanted to be like his hero in every possible way. He knew the music and would continue to play it until his fingers bled. At age seventeen, Schroder was glad that his fingers have remained intact. He took the doctor's word to stretch out his hands every time before he played in hopes he would never have to stop.
Through the last three years of high school, the school gave him access to the special practice room for his study halls. There, a grand piano was reserved for school concerts and his use. He had never heard such a beautiful sound. He had a standard at home, but this was the best of the best. Beethoven approved. Or perhaps even better than what Beethoven used.
Of course, there was more to life than the piano. Schroeder wanted to study music at Bonn University, where Beethoven went. Studying aboard wasn't a common thing in Minnesota, but he was hopeful. It was the dream. Schroeder wouldn't let anything get in the way of his dream. How could he? He had been working for it all of his life.
He awoke to the sound of the piano from his clock radio tuned to a classical station. The sunlight drifted into his room through his sheer yellow curtains. Schroeder sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. When his vision adjusted, he gazed upon the large envelope resting on his desk. It was filled with his letters of recommendation, his transcripts, and his plain application to Bonn. He would mail it as soon as the applications were open.
The first day of school had always been daunting to Schroder. After a long three months of non-stop playing music, it was hard to give up his day to his general education. It wasn't the worst way to spend a day, he supposed. He hadn't seen any of the gang since their last baseball match in June. He showed up to some practices, but he never stayed long. There was always next spring.
Pulling on his purple shirt and black pants, running his fingers through his hair, lacing up his oxfords, and brushing his teeth, Schroeder thought himself ready for the day. He grabbed a bagel from the kitchen on his way out the door. His mother was still asleep, and his father was already at work, so he quietly left the house with a light tread and into the open September air.
The brick wall wasn't far from the school, so Schroeder took the detour. Sure enough, Charlie Brown and Linus van Pelt were sitting on it, simply talking. Linus saw him first, waving him over. Schroeder jogged to them, catching his breath as he leaned against the wall. "Schroeder, what brings you here?" Charlie asks, leaning back on his elbows and resting his feet.
"Just felt like saying hello," Schroeder smiles. "How were both of your summers?"
"Nothing special," Charlie shrugged. "Baseball scrimmage, visiting grandma, and Sally dragging the whole family to the mall."
"I can't believe she's in her second year of high school now," Linus shakes his head. "But I suppose that's life. Time goes on, and we all get older, wiser, and more experienced."
Ignoring Linus's usual monologue, Schroeder chuckled. "Now you'll have to fend her off between classes."
Linus shifted slightly, "Yeah, I suppose so."
"Good grief," Charlie shook his head, his long blond hair shaking in front of his eyes.
"You finally ditched the buzz cut?" Schroeder raised a brow.
"What? Oh. Yeah." Charlie shook his head again.
"It's a definite improvement," Linus added. "Senior year is a great time to change. There's no pressure from upperclassmen."
"Now you'll just have to take pressure from us, little junior," Peppermint Patty popped out of nowhere. Charlie immediately sat up as she leaned against the wall, staring up at him. "Hey, Chuck."
"Hey, Patty," Charlie greeted with a lack of enthusiasm. "How are you?"
"I'm doing fine," she tucked her light brown hair behind her ear. "I was wondering since I'm new to your school this year you could...show me around?" Schroeder looked to Linus, who had a small grin twitching at his lips.
"I don't think I would be the best at that," Charlie admitted. "But they're showing freshmen around today, I'm sure you could hop in with them."
Patty let out a frustrated sigh. "Sure, thanks. I'll see you later, Chuck." She turned, seeing no one behind her. "Marcie?!"
"Right here, sir," Marcie said from the other side of the wall. All three boys jumped at her sudden appearance. Marcie always had a silent step.
"Do you have all my books?" Patty called much louder than she needed to. The boys cringed. Having a musician's ear, Schroder winced at the shrill of her voice.
"Yes, sir," Marcie lifted a stuffed bag up over the wall.
"Well, climb over, Marcie," Patty motioned her to follow. "I'm leaving with or without you." She began to walk away. Marcie put both of her hands on the wall and hopped up, almost falling over the other side. The bookbag fell as she tipped. Charlie and Linus caught her arms.
"Easy there, Marc," Charlie got off the wall to help her down. She accepted his hand and landed on her feet.
Brushing off her orange pants and adjusting her round glasses. "Thank you, Charles." He picked up the bag and groaned.
"What's in this thing? Bricks?"
"It's all sir's stuff," Marcie reached for it, but Charlie pulled it back.
"I've got it. I'll follow you," Charlie swung the bag over his shoulder, taking his own in his hands.
"Such the sweet gentleman, Charles," Marcie grinned as they went off. Schroder turned back to Linus, who was watching them carefully.
"What's that?"
"That is the long oblivion of my dear friend Charlie Brown," Linus came down. "Marcie's had a crush on him forever."
"How come I haven't noticed?" Schroeder asked as they walked along far behind the others.
Linus smiled to himself. "Oblivion can be many people's downfalls. I didn't know myself until...someone told me."
"Huh," Schroeder shook his head. "Well, that'll be a change for Charlie."
"If he ever figures it out. He's been fawning over Heather—
"Since the dawn of time," they said together with an eye roll.
As they crossed the street to the school, Schroeder sighed, "This is why love is pointless. Beethoven was a bachelor, and look at all the stuff he did. We can achieve so much more if we didn't have to worry about romance."
"A lonely life isn't the best achievement in the world, but I cannot speak for everyone." Before Schroeder could argue any further, they were in the chaotic halls. The sounds of lockers slamming and laughter echoed throughout the halls. Linus then patted him on the back. "I'll see you later." He disappeared in an instant, leaving Schroeder on his own.
He spotted Charlie easily. He was always easy to spot with that bright yellow jacket of his. He was still with Marcie, helping her put books away in her locker. Charlie was gazing beyond Marcie at the once little redhead girl. Heather was always one of the prettiest girls in school, but Schroeder never saw the appeal. What was so special about her? What made someone the most desirable? He would never understand.
The first three classes of the day went by rather quickly. He had to catch up on his generals after taking every music class elective before this year. Schroeder saw many of the lower classmen but not any of his classmates. Linus should've been in attendance, but he takes so many classes Schroeder was surprised he didn't already graduate.
At lunch, he sat with the boys as usual. He listened to the stories of the summer and laughed along with the rest. The rest of the day was a breeze, he went to his maths and sciences, dedicating his time to each and doing the homework as quickly as he could before the final bell rang. He skipped like a schoolboy down the hall to the music room and went right past the teacher into his most beloved practice room. When he opened the door, he was rather surprised that he wasn't alone.
Lucy van Pelt's life has been dedicated to Schroeder since she was four years old. When she first met him, she knew she was in love. She never bothered to look into anyone else. She would lean against his piano as he played the days away. Their conversations were light, talking of marriage and their future life. Most of these conversations were one-sided of course, but young Lucy simply figured that musicians would rather not talk about the obvious.
As time went on, Lucy just seized to speak of their future. Surely, one day Schroeder would figure it all out. She would be leaning on his piano as he played romantic tunes. Then he would look up from the keys and ask her to marry him. She would act surprised and accept his spontaneous offer. They would be inseparable from that moment forward. She wouldn't just be sitting at some boy's piano, she would be sitting at her husband's piano.
Now a senior, Lucy supposed it was time for her to think of the future. She didn't know what she wanted to do. She had many interests, such as Schroeder, his piano, having things go her way, and knowing all of everyone's doing. She supposed that would be enough when she married Schroeder. She could live happily as his little housewife, right? Of course, she could.
That morning of her last first day of high school, Lucy stared at herself in the mirror. She had planned to wear the blue dress she had bought from a store last May, but all she could look at was the way the fabric clung to her hips. Was it too short? She turned around, checking herself. She didn't understand why this babydoll style was even in fashion. She missed the long and voluminous skirts she used to wear.
Sighing, Lucy unzipped the dress and went to her closet. She pulled on a blue sweater and checkered pants. She checked herself again, glad that the sweater was almost baggy on her. Fluffing her raven hair, Lucy frowned. Maybe she'll lose some weight now that school's starting, then she can wear the dress to one of the Christmas parties. Who would be wearing dresses today anyway? It was rather chilly for the first week of September.
When Lucy came downstairs for breakfast, Linus was shoving his face with a piece of toast loaded with eggs. Rerun was doing just the same, only with a pancake. Her mother was doing the dishes, holding the phone up to her ear by her shoulder, chatting away. Lucy glanced at the boys again, this time she put a hand to her stomach and groaned, "Disgusting."
Rerun was unaffected by the remark, but Linus stared up at her. "Funny, I don't see the mirror you're talking to."
"Blockhead," Lucy bopped him on the shoulder quickly, but forcefully. Usually, it was enough to get him out of the chair, but Linus only swayed, laughing to himself. Lucy rolled her eyes before she took a slice of toast off the plate and pulled her bag over her shoulder.
"Is that all you're eating?" Linus asked.
"It's none of your business," Lucy hissed over her shoulder as she went on her way out of the house. She took a deep breath of fresh air. Biting off of her toast, Lucy went on her way to school. She would have to stop at the Browns to pick up Sally. When she arrived at the house, Snoopy came sniffing out from the backyard. Lucy took one last bite of her bread before throwing it to the dog. He sniffed it, and slowly took it.
The blonde girl skipped down her sidewalk to meet Lucy at the end of the drive. Snoopy watched her, then turned back to the years. Her pink dress flowed with every move, making Lucy instinctively tug her sweater down. "Hey, Lucy!" Sally exclaimed excitedly. Lucy was not prepared for the sophomore's giddiness, so she forced a smile and nodded. They began to walk in silence until Sally practically burst. "What do you think it'll be like now that Patty's schools are conjoined to ours?"
"We'll have less baseball competition," Lucy shrugged. "And she'll be drooling over your brother more than usual."
"Marcie will too," Sally added. "My big brother is too oblivious to notice a thing. Then he just wallows around all sad and lonely."
"At least he's not on my case," Lucy stuck out her tongue, making Sally giggle. "He went out with Heather already, will he ever get over it?"
"Those were a simple two weeks in the eighth grade," Sally shook her head. "The only reason it ended was that she went to summer camp."
"Oh, Charlie," Lucy shook her head.
"I know, but you can't change him," Sally shrugged as they went on.
When they arrived at school, Lucy was shocked to see all of the girls hanging out at the front. They were never here this early. She lifted her chin a little higher, trying to ignore all of the pretty babydoll dresses that swarmed the courtyard. Sally occasionally stopped to give a quick hello or chat with a classmate. Patricia and Violet came to the front of the crowd.
They were what Lucy called her closest friends, but she had hardly talked to them over the summer. She saw and occasionally talked to them at baseball, and called Violet last week, but nothing more. She wished she had taken Sally to the back entrance as they neared the pair. "Lucy!" Patricia called, fixing the white bow in her hair.
"What is everyone doing?" Sally asked, joining the group.
"We're greeting the new students to Birchwood," Patty explained as Violet eyed Lucy.
"I thought you said you were going to wear that new dress, Lucy?" she asked.
Lucy bit her lip. "Yes, I was. But I accidentally got jam on it this morning. Mom's gonna clean it."
"Shame," Violet said with little expression.
"Here come some newbies," a girl called. Everyone looked out across the courtyard to see Peppermint Patty strolling down the courtyard, her flip flops clipping with every step. Not far behind her, Marcie and Charlie Brown. They were talking to each other, not even taking notice of the crowd that awaited them.
"Let's go," Lucy tugged at Sally's arm. Lucy didn't slow down until they were safely inside.
"Are you alright?" Sally asked once they were inside. Luckily, there was no one else around, just a janitor.
"Huh?" Lucy snapped out of the small daze she had put herself into. "Oh," she shook her head. "No, I'm doing great. It's my last first day of school."
"Aren't you going to go to college?" she was about to say more, but she hesitated. "Someone told me that women's acceptance rates have been rising steadily."
"I suppose it depends on what my husband wants," Lucy shrugged. "My mom got married only a year out of high school. There was no time for her to go, even if she wanted to."
"Well, I want to be a beautician," Sally flipped her curls off her shoulder. "They spend most of their time talking anyways and I figured that I would be good at that."
"I can believe it," Lucy found her locker number. She began to place the books inside.
"I better go get my class schedule," Sally clapped her hands together. "I couldn't find it anywhere. Snoopy might've eaten it."
"Or your brother," Lucy smirked as Sally skipped down the hall. As students began to fill the halls, Lucy got out a few books for her next few classes and disappeared up the stairs just as Schroeder walked in with her brother Linus.
She wasn't used to hiding. Lucy used to like being the center of attention. She used to be brave and bold and maybe just a bit pushy. As Lucy sat in the back of her classrooms, she listened quietly rather than gossiping with Patricia and Violet. She took notes rather than depending on Linus for them later. There was something lost in her or rather, gained.
It was apparent that Lucy had always been bigger than the other kids. She never saw it as a problem, surely they would catch up to her. She was proud to be ahead of all others, but now she was rather behind. Baby fat still lingered on her seventeen-year-old cheeks. Her body filled out into a rather curvy figure, while Patricia and Violet had remained stick figures all the way through puberty, and there wasn't a way to forget about it.
Last year, before summer began, the trio had gone shopping. Of course, they bumped into Charlie Brown. After giving him a hard time, as usual, they went to every department store that sold dresses. They laughed as they rummage through the rack, collecting an abundance of overpriced dresses to try on. It was all giggles until a rip made the blood from Lucy's face drain.
It wasn't large, but it was enough. She looked down at the fabric in shock and horror. It was just off the zipper. Panicked, Lucy had put the dress under her arm, hiding the dress expertly from Violet and Patricia, but she knew they heard the rip. There was no possible way they couldn't. While the two were putting back the dresses, Lucy bought the dress and hid the rip from the cashier the best she could, but the guilt was plain in her eyes.
She never spoke about it with her friends or anyone for that matter. Lucy had never felt an embarrassment deeper. She had felt it immensely for days, weeks, almost the entire summer. Every time she saw her friends she was only reminded of that patched-up dress she tried to pull on this morning. Who was she kidding? How could she ever wear that dress knowing she would never look like them?
At lunch, Lucy ate with the girls. The most talk came from Sally unsurprisingly. Violet and Patricia were also at the end of the table blabbing away. They had invited the new girls from the other school to sit with them. Lucy already knew Peppermint Patty and Marcie, so she engaged in a little conversation. This ended in a rebuke between the friends, and Lucy picked away at her lunch slowly.
The last part of the day went by rather quickly. Lucy was on the edge of her seat when the final bell rang. She supposed she would have to give Sally an excuse, but she couldn't find the girl on her way to the music room. The teacher was in her office, so Lucy took the liberty to let herself in the practice room. The large piano was waiting for her alone. Part of her was discouraged. Why wasn't he here?
Then the door swung open.
"Hey," Schroeder dropped his bag down on the floor. It muffled against the carpet, the books smacking against each other. Usually, he was here first, already halfway through a piece before she came in. This was a first.
"Hey," Lucy smiled, pulling on her sweater as her hands slipped into her pockets. He almost didn't recognize her not because she had changed, but because he hadn't seen her since the last baseball game in June. "How was your summer?" Usually, she would come by his place and listen to him practice, or at least call.
"Good," Schroeder shrugged. There was another silence, another first. He whistled a little before asking, "Yours?"
"Busy," she shrugged.
"Ah," Schroeder nodded. Lucy hopped up on the piano, swinging her legs up delicately. He lingered at the door, just watching her. "I noticed you weren't around so much." He said it before a thought even entered his mind. Lucy perked up at the sound of his voice.
"Really?"
"I mean," Schroeder sat down at the piano, "you didn't come over."
"Didn't have time," Lucy shrugged again. Another silence. He placed his hands on the keys. "I called."
"You did?" he lifted his gaze rather quickly.
"Your mom answered. She said that you were really busy and not to bother you," Lucy turned onto her stomach. "I didn't try to call again."
"Oh," Schroeder didn't know what else to say, so he simply played. He waited for her to say something. Anything. Usually, she rambled on and on about some nonsense that he preferred to tune out. He wasn't used to the utter silence in her presence. It shouldn't have bothered him at all. He had just come off of a silent musical summer, what difference did it make?
When he played through his latest Beethoven, he looked up at her. She was in a daze. Did she even realize the song was over? This was the perfect time for her to get her word in. Instead, she blinked and sat up. "That was lovely Schroeder. I think I'll head home."
"Oh," he said. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Lucy nodded as she gathered her things and left without another word.