(for disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 9 - 22nd March 2014
The worst was over. Bucky was aware that made it sound as if things were still bad, but quite honestly, he had no real complaints. Since the day they got Natasha back, he had hope again. Then when she told him all the secrets she had been hiding too long and they confessed their love for each other, well, from that day on, Bucky was pretty sure he had been walking on air. Things might have been just about perfect for a while, if they weren't living in somebody else's house, and if Natasha wasn't getting all kinds of antsy.
It was a couple of days since Steve had dropped by for a visit, unsurprisingly, apologising for missing Bucky's birthday. He seemed surprised that Natasha was back on her feet already, but Bucky hadn't really expected anything less. After everything else that had happened, Barton having the necessary equipment and skills to take Natasha's cast off himself, as well as assist with her rehab, came as no real shock. It had been rough for a while, as Natasha herself had suspected, but she and Clint knew what they were doing with physical therapy, and Bucky had pitched in wherever he could.
Before she could even get out of bed and move around unaided, Natasha was ensuring her muscles didn't atrophy by exercising her arms, her good leg, anything she could manage to do. More recently, with the cast off, she had learned to get around the house without help in no time at all. To Bucky, she was a miracle. To Clint, she was an overconfident brat, but he said it with all the affection of a big brother and then had to admit she really was a miracle too.
"Right now, we're still working on identifying who we can trust and who we can't," Steve had told them all, over a cup of coffee and a misshapen, oddly decorated cookie that the kids had made on hearing that Captain America was coming to visit. "The allies pile is scarily small compared to the enemies pile, but isn't it always the way?" he said, shrugging his broad shoulders.
Sometimes, Bucky still felt weird about his friend looking like he did. Sometimes, he even missed the skinny kid that he took care of so long when they were coming up together. Not that he really minded his little brother being as big as he was now, or as confident and able either. Honestly, he was thrilled for him, and always had been, but it was still strange to think about sometimes.
Seeing Steve and thinking how like brothers they were made Bucky think too much about Natasha and her adopted sister too. She never did mention Yelena again after that one time, and Bucky wasn't so sure that he should bring her up either. Some day, there would be a mission to go find her, he knew, and when Natasha said it was the right time, he would be there by her side, no question. Until then, it seemed better just to let it go.
"Hey, dreamer," said Natasha then, waving her hand in front of his face. "You miss him, don't you?"
"What?" he checked, shaking his head at her, watching her smile slowly.
"Don't give me that dumb look, soldier," she told him. "It doesn't work for you. You miss your buddy Steve. It was great having him come visit, but now he's gone, and you're probably itching to be back in the field as much as I am."
"I don't know that it's the missions I'm missing," he said with a sigh. "You're not wrong that I do miss Steve sometimes. Geez, sometimes, I even miss Stark and Banner."
"Yeah, I have those moments. Pretty scary," she deadpanned, dropping down beside him on the couch and leaning into him, as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "I guess we can get out of here sometime soon. I know technically we would usually wait for word from Fury, but given the circumstances... Might be better to make our own arrangements."
Bucky wasn't sure what she meant by that and didn't get the chance to ask as Cooper and Lila came barrelling into the living room, stopping so close to the coffee table there was almost a crash.
"Hey, guys." Natasha smiled at them. "What's up?"
"Mom's working and Dad's fixing the tractor," Cooper explained. "We want to go outside and play Frisbee, but we're stuck in the house unless an adult comes out with us."
"Uh-huh." Natasha was more smirking than smiling as she looked up at Bucky then. "I think we're being called up for a mission, soldier."
"Seems that way 'Auntie Nat'," he teased her, not that she minded at all.
"Did they even have Frisbees before you went under?" she asked, getting up off the couch and encouraging him to do the same.
"Actually, no," Bucky admitted, "but I'm pretty sure I understand the concept. Let's go," he told the kids, who both cheered before running for the door.
Though Cooper went straight out, Lila doubled back at the last, flinging her arms around Bucky's waist and squeezing tightly.
"Thank you, Uncle Bucky," she told him, and then she was off and running after her brother, almost as if it never happened.
For a moment, he was a little stunned. It was true that he had got to know the kids and they had got to know him, Lila in particular insisting on calling him 'Uncle Bucky' and making a big deal out of his presence a not-small part of time. A few days ago, she asked if she could braid his hair and, because it seemed better than upsetting her, he let her do it. He still had one tiny braid somewhere on the right side of his head that had been well-tied enough that it stayed in. That being said, there had never been hugs before. Hugs were new.
"You know, if it were any other girl fighting for your attention, I'd have to do something drastic about it," Natasha told him, still smirking as much as before, "but I'm willing to share you with Lila. I'm pretty sure you're her first crush."
"I... don't know what to do with that," Bucky admitted, shaking his head.
"Just come play Frisbee," she advised, grabbing his hand to pull him outside with her.
The game was as simple as Bucky thought it was, the flying disc being tossed from one person to another, with the others diving to intercept at times. There were no real rules, at least not the way the Barton kids played. It was really more about the fun of it, which Bucky supposed made sense for children.
What he hadn't been ready for was how much natural talent he had with the Frisbee. Natasha looked impressed, then made a quip about him having been practising with Cap's shield when he wasn't looking. Bucky was so busy smiling at her, he was very nearly brained by Cooper's next throw, the disc sailing past his head, close enough to ruffle his hair.
There was laughter aplenty as they continued to play, the kids seemingly having the best time, and Natasha too, for quite a while. Suddenly, on bending to retrieve the fallen Frisbee, Bucky saw her stiffen and wince. Knowing she wouldn't appreciate him making a fuss, especially in front of the children, he waited until she was upright again and cast her a meaningful look. Something hurt, bad enough that she knew better than to push herself anymore.
"You guys keep on playing," she advised Cooper and Lila, finding them a brand-new smile. "I'm just going to take a break for a while, enjoy that porch swing you dad is so proud of."
Bucky watched her go, saw her overcompensating in trying not to limp. He wouldn't ever reproach her for doing too much, not when it was all for the joy of her 'niece and nephew' who she loved so much. Still, he did hate to see her suffer. He tried his best to keep playing, for the kids' sake, but the moment Clint emerged from the barn, asking if he could get in on the game too, Bucky was quick to say he would take a breather on the porch as well.
On his way to join Natasha, he heard Clint refer to him as 'Uncle Buck' and laugh like it was the best joke ever. It wasn't the first time it had happened and he just knew there must be a reference he was missing. He would ask Natasha about it sometime, but right in that moment, he had bigger things on his mind.
"You sure you're okay?" he asked, joining her on the porch swing where she was sat comfortably, swaying gently.
"Sure, I'm fine," she assured him immediately. "Just probably a little too much all at once. I hate to admit it, but I think it's going to be a while longer before I'm completely mission-ready."
Bucky nodded his understanding and settled in beside her, accepting the other half of the blanket that was already stretched over her legs and putting it over his own as well. They both watched as Cooper threw the Frisbee too far from Clint and he had to dive to catch up, reaching out very far with his arm and still only just making the catch. The kids cheered and the game continued.
"You know, you're great with them too," Natasha told Bucky, leaning heavily against him.
"They're nice kids," he said, shrugging one shoulder. "Honestly, I surprised myself. I never thought of myself as a good-with-kids person."
"You never thought you'd have your own some day?"
It sounded a lot like a loaded question, though he tried to pretend that it wasn't.
"Sure, I mean, back then, it was just the way life worked. Most people grew up, got a job, got married, settled down in a nice house and had kids," he said thoughtfully, eyes never leaving the Barton family Frisbee tournament. "I know that's really old-fashioned now, but it was normal then."
"You still want that?"
That one was definitely a loaded question, if he didn't know from hearing it, he could absolutely tell from the look on her face as he glanced at her then. He opened his mouth to reply, but she was up from the seat and gone before he could get out a word. He hesitated. That was the problem and Bucky knew it. Actually, the bigger problem was that he didn't want to lie to her and couldn't see a good way out of this conversation unless he did.
Getting up fast, he checked the others were still invested in their playing and wouldn't notice anything was amiss, then followed Natasha inside. He was headed for the bedroom, until he heard movement in the kitchen, the slam of a cabinet door. When he got there, she was braced against the counter, her back to him and her head down.
"Natalia," he said, exhaling a sigh. "Come on, what do you want me to say? I'm not stupid. I don't expect you to be the little wife of yesteryear," he assured her, "and we both know that... that biological kids are not an option."
The tenseness in her shoulders visibly increased when he said that, but he couldn't help it. She made him go there. He hadn't wanted to, but she didn't give him a choice. They both knew that what he was saying was true.
It was a while back now when she told him the truth, about the graduation ritual in the Red Room. The things they were trained to do, there was no way they could be allowed to be distracted, to care for anything more than the mission, and so, those evil people ensured there was no way for Natasha or her 'sisters' to contribute to the next generation. It was a confession she made in the dark, when a silly game of Truth or Dare took a rather unfortunate turn. From that night to this, they never spoke of it. Not until now.
Crossing the room to where she was, Bucky placed a careful hand on Natasha's shoulder and encouraged her to face him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to bring it up, but you started this conversation. You asked me the question."
"I know," she admitted, smiling as if she wanted to laugh at herself but couldn't quite bring herself to do it, "and you're right, I'm never going to be the old-fashioned wife and mother type. Even if I wanted to be, I can't."
"And I'm not asking you to be," he promised her, taking her face in his hands and meeting her eyes. "Natalia, I love you, that part is non-negotiable. Everything else, the future and what we do with it, it doesn't matter right now. I'm more interested in the present. In me and you just living our lives together, however we want. Isn't that what you want too?"
"Of course it is," she replied immediately, a relief to him that he couldn't begin to describe, "but James, I don't... You already lost enough. The life you knew, all the people you cared about back then. You got dropped into this mess of a modern world and-"
"And I found you," he reminded her without pause, daring where most men would not to interrupt her. "And whatever you want to call it - fate, destiny, God's plan, whatever - I believe that this is how it's supposed to be," he told her firmly. "You and me, Nat, it is how it's supposed to be," he told her, glad to see a more genuine smile on her lips as a result. "You wanna fight me on that, mighty Black Widow?" he asked, unable to keep from smirking.
Her voice was very soft when she replied; "You know that I don't."
She reached up to kiss him then and he drew her close in his arms as he returned that kiss. Lost in the moment, they had no idea they had company, not until they heard childish giggling from the doorway. When they turned to look, Bucky was more than a little embarrassed to realise that Cooper, Lila, and Clint were all staring in at them.
"The size of this place, you'd think a person could get a little privacy," said Natasha, grumbling as if she were mad, though they all knew better.
"In the kitchen, Auntie Nat? Seriously?" Clint teased her terribly, making more than just Lila break into fits of giggles.
It felt good to have a reason to laugh for a change. Bucky couldn't complain about it, most especially the laughter from Natasha's throat. She was always beautiful, but ever more so when she was as happy as she was in that moment. He only hoped he could help to make it last.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Final (short) chapter will be posted on Thursday! :)