(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 7 - 21st January 2014

"Okay, this is not what I was expecting," Bucky admitted as the jet landed at a short distance from a farmhouse in the middle of a vast open space. "This is your place?"

"This is it," Clint confirmed, smiling too much, or at least Bucky thought so.

Now he had seen the place, at least he understood what joke he had been missing. He didn't have much experience in safe houses, but he certainly hadn't expected what he was seeing now.

Of course, the surprises just kept on coming. Out of the jet, Clint led the way, carrying the bags, and Bucky followed, carrying Natasha. She was much more alert and awake than she had been a week before, but with her leg in plaster and a multitude of other injuries that were taking their sweet time to heal, even she agreed that her walking from the jet to the house would be impractical.

Besides, it was cold and the terrain was less than even, it just wasn't worth all that effort when there was an easier way. Around the house, she might get to use crutches after a while, but they both knew she would be largely confined to bed or the couch for a while yet, with help potentially needed to get her from one to the other.

"I never really saw myself as the damsel type," she said then, smiling up at him, "but I guess I could get used to riding around like this."

Bucky held her closer and kissed her hair, saying nothing. If necessary, he would carry her to the ends of the earth, but he knew if he said it she would laugh because it was way too mushy. Whatever he might have decided to say instead got knocked right out of him when they got closer to the house and Bucky realised there were people waiting for them on the porch. Three people to be precise, a woman and two kids. That was when he felt his eyes get wide and had to remind himself not to drop Natasha right out of his arms.

"Are they...?" he began to ask, glancing down at her.

"Clint's wife and kids?" Natasha nodded. "Yeah, that's them."

To his credit, Bucky didn't drop her, but he did stop walking for a second or two. He hadn't thought about it, that Clint might have somebody. Even if he had considered the possibility of the guy being in some kind of relationship, a wife and two children was still a leap his brain hadn't made.

"I guess I just thought, you know, agents and spies..."

"You of all people should know we're people too," said Natasha softly.

Bucky couldn't quite be sure what she meant by that and didn't get the chance to ask as they reached the porch steps and he carefully walked up them. Immediately, Clint dumped the bags inside the front door and doubled back to check Bucky was coping okay.

"We're fine," he assured him. "Um, hi," he said, looking to Mrs Barton then. "I'm..."

"I know who you are, Sergeant Barnes," she said politely and with one of the kindest smiles he had ever seen.

"Please, call my Bucky," he insisted, squirming a little under the attention of the Barton family.

It was a relief when all focus swiftly shifted to Natasha instead.

"Hey, Nat. How're you doing?"

"Oh, you know, I've been better," she said, smiling as she and Clint's wife reached for each other, their hands gripping together for a moment. "Thanks so much for this, Laura. It means a lot."

"You know you're always welcome. Right, guys?" she said to the kids, who seemed caught between pleased to see Natasha and wary of her injuries.

Nevertheless, they greeted 'Auntie Nat' with smiles and promises that she could have anything she wanted if it would make her feel better, including a share in their candy or a hug from the little girl's bear.

"You guys are the best," she told them, "but first thing first, maybe we could get inside? It's really cold out here!"

Without hesitation, Clint and Laura ushered everybody into the house. Bucky put Natasha down on the couch and hesitated just a moment before joining her there. He didn't feel quite so out of place when she took a hold of his hand and held it tight, even if it was strange to have the kids staring at him as if he were an alien.

"Bags are all stowed in your room," said Clint, returning quickly to the living room. "But I'm guessing Bucky is making a home on the couch?"

"No, he'll share with me," Natasha insisted, even as Bucky opened his mouth to agree that the couch was fine. "You don't want to share?"

"No, I mean, yes, sure, we can. I didn't know if you would... We'll share," he said eventually, sure he looked and sounded equally as awkward as he felt.

"Good choice." Clint nodded, coming to sit on the arm of the chair where his wife was sitting, while the kids made themselves comfortable on the floor. "So, in case you didn't catch everybody's name, this is my wife, Laura," he introduced to Bucky. "And these two little monsters," he joked, mussing up the hair of both kids at once, "are Cooper and Lila. Don't worry, they don't bite or anything."

"Hi." Bucky raised his free hand, unsure what else to say after that,

He hadn't really been around kids much, at least, not since he was one. Usually, he was sure he would better handle the situation, but so far today had been nothing but surprises. He could really use a minute to let his head catch up.

Thankfully, conversation between Natasha and the Bartons seemed to flow easily enough, the kids took some of the attention, filling their aunt in on everything she didn't know about their school, their latest toys, and farm life in general. Clint made coffee for the adults and hot chocolate for the kids, while Laura brought out cookies the little ones had helped her make.

Bucky was happiest when he had food in his mouth so nobody could ask him too many questions. He really wasn't sure what he could share and what he shouldn't. He had no idea how much Clint's family already knew about him or his relationship with 'Auntie Nat'.

There was a feeling akin to relief when finally the two of them were alone in the bedroom together. Not that it lasted all that long. It didn't take more than a few seconds for him to realise it really was her room, somewhere she had obviously stayed more than one time. The childish drawings on the walls were all labelled as being for 'Auntie Nat' and though Natasha wasn't much for personal items as a rule, Bucky could just tell the things he saw on the bookshelves and nightstand were her choices. It all looked too similar to her place in Stark Tower to be luck or a coincidence.

"You don't mind sharing with me, right?" she asked from her place on the bed, staring up at him just hovering by the door like an idiot. "Because if you were really set on taking the couch..."

"You know I'm fine sharing with you. It was you that had the problem with that before," he reminded her, perhaps a little too sharply, especially in the circumstances. "I'm sorry," he apologised immediately, his hand covering his eyes as he tried for calm, and to stave off the incoming headache that had been threatening for a while now.

"Don't be. I probably deserved that," said Natasha without hesitation, "but if you wanna come sit down, I can explain a little better than I did before. You know, the whole crazy nightmare thing."

She said it so flat, like it was normal or just nothing to even care about. Bucky knew better. He had never seen her as terrified as she was that night, lying naked in his tub, shaking like she just had the fright of her life or even some kind of fit. He didn't know what to make of that, and when he asked her to explain, she just made excuses and left.

At the time, he hadn't realised quite how long she would be gone. From that night, they hadn't said a word to each other, until she came around in a hospital bed a little over a week ago. This talk was long overdue, and yet, Bucky was suddenly reluctant to have it.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," he said softly as he moved to join her on the bed.

"I know that," she replied with a smile, encouraging him closer and wrapping her hand around his own.

Her entire focus was on their joined hands as she pulled them into her lap, studying the way their fingers intertwined, a perfect fit. The smile remained on her lips, though it began to look a little sad and wobbly when she started to explain herself.

"I have a lot of nightmares. I've told you about some of them, about memories from Red Room and the missions they sent me on. I never hid the kind of person I'd been from you. Maybe a smarter person would have but... but if this thing with us was ever going to be anything real, you had to know the truth."

At that point, she looked up, green eyes meeting blue eyes and locking on.

"From the day you found out who I really was, I have never lied to you," she told him faithfully. "You know that, right?"

"I know. I believe you, Natalia," he assured her, nodding his head.

"Of course, I have left some things out in what I've told you, and you know what they say, 'A lie by omission is still a lie'," she said, heaving a sigh as she glanced away again. "Those nightmares I get, that make me remember what I was and what I was capable of. As much as I can atone for it all, it still happened. As much as the programming is broken and gone, I still remember it. In the dark, when I'm sleeping... sometimes, I lash out. I feel out of control and that..."

"It scares you" Bucky said for her, sure that was the one thing she would have most trouble admitting to. "It's okay. You don't think I saw enough things in the war that scared me? Some of them still haunt me to this day. It's normal. Everybody gets scared."

"What scares me most is the thought of hurting you," she admitted then, so fast and so quiet, he would never have known what she said if they hadn't been sitting so close. "When I'm caught up in the nightmares, like I said, I can lash out. It's a large part of the reason why I worried so much about us sleeping alongside each other."

There were tears building in her eyes that broke Bucky's heart. Pulling her closer by their joined hands, he rested his forehead against her own.

"You don't have to worry about me," he assured her, speaking softly but firmly. "I promise, there is nothing you could do that would change the way I feel about you."

One lone tear streaked down her cheek then and he gently wiped it away. "That's easy to say," she told him, swallowing visibly hard.

"It's easy because it's true," he said definitely, kissing her temple.

She sighed as she leaned into him. "I swear these damn meds are messing with my emotions. I was never this sappy before."

That made him laugh, just a little, because they both knew well enough that the tough-as-nails Black Widow had had a softer side for at least as long as he had known her and probably a whole lot longer than that. Not that Bucky intended to say as much. It was one of those things that just didn't need to be verbalised.

"You'll probably feel better if you get some rest," he suggested, moving to get off the bed.

He didn't quite make it, since she didn't seem ready to let go of his hand yet. When he looked back, at least she was smiling again.

"Thank you, James."

"For what?" he asked in earnest.

"Everything," she told him, nodding once, then finally released his hand so he could go.

He watched as she laid herself down and closed her eyes to get some sleep a while, then turned to the door and let himself out. Outside the bedroom, he leaned against the wall and let out a long breath. He was glad that Natasha finally talked to him about her nightmares, about her fears when it came to hurting him. It gave him the chance to reassure her and it meant that they could move forward together. That was no bad thing.

Of course, at some point, he wanted to ask her what happened after that night when she disappeared. Up to now, she had said nothing about where she was between then and when Fury sent her undercover on the secret HYDRA-related mission.

For as long as she was in the earliest stages of her recovery, he hardly dare ask her about it, and was now left waiting for her to choose to explain. That could take a while, Bucky was well aware, but in the same way that she feared lashing out in her nightmares and hurting him, he also feared hurting her in a different way, by saying the wrong thing, by putting pressure on her to tell him things she would rather not share.

Relationships were never supposed to be easy, he supposed. Didn't the old song say, 'You always hurt the one you love'? Bucky really didn't want that to be how it was with him and Natasha, though it seemed inevitable right now, one way and another.

The sound of stomping little feet dragged his attention back to the present, and suddenly Cooper and Lila were there, looking curiously up at him.

"Hi," said Bucky uncertainly.

"You're Auntie Nat's boyfriend, right?" the little girl asked him.

"Uh... yeah, I guess," he said, in spite of the fact neither he nor Natasha had ever really labelled what they were to each other up to now.

"See, I told you," Lila told her brother then, hands on her hips and a triumphant look on her face. "We have an Uncle Bucky now."

With that, she turned and bolted away, leaving Cooper staring at Bucky yet.

"You don't have to call me that," he said, shaking his head.

Cooper just shrugged, then ran off after his sister, and Bucky watched them go, unsure what to think about anything right now. When Laura appeared next, asking him if he was hungry, at least he knew the answer to that question, because he could definitely eat. He followed Clint's wife to the kitchen, happy to know that for at least a little while the world would make sense.

To Be Continued...