This idea came to me while watching "Knockdown." Initially it was just gonna be a one-shot; however, lying in bed after watching the episode, I was struck with the idea that there should be several parts, at least covering a couple of episodes through the end of season 3. I'm not sure if I will extend it into some of the season 4 episodes or not…it just depends on how the characters speak to me as I'm writing. But there are at least several season 3 episodes that are going to be dealt with.

I'm starting it after that night in "Knockdown" when they had to save Ryan and Esposito. I figure Kate didn't go to see Lockwood in prison until at least the next day, so this chapter will take place between the time we see her fixing Castle's hand in the ambulance and when we see her at the prison.

The way I'm planning to deal with future chapters is everything up to the point I tell you the scene starts is going to be just like in the episode. The only parts I'm either rewriting or adding are what you see here. If anything else from an episode needs to change so that it fits my version, I'll let you know in the beginning.

I'm also still working on Hell Hath No Fury, so I'm going to do my best to rotate updates between that and this one until this one is complete.

I don't own Castle, unfortunately.

xxxxx

Castle is seated in the back of an ambulance getting his hand wrapped; he'd insisted he didn't need to go to the hospital. Once the medic finished, he climbed out of the vehicle. Castle winced at the tightness of the bandage and started to unwrap it, glancing up when he felt Beckett's presence.

"Hey there, Chuck Norris. How's the hand?" she asked, climbing up into the ambulance and taking a seat across from him with a small smile.

"Excruciating."

She gently took his hand in hers and began rewrapping his hand. Her touch was delicate as she focused on his injury, her fingers caressing his skin softly.

"How's Ryan and Esposito?" he asked her, trying to focus on anything but the way her soft touch was making him feel. After the kiss they shared earlier in the evening, the last thing he needed was more of her touch. As it was, he would have a very difficult time getting to sleep later, and he was sure the way she felt in his arms, the way she'd tasted when she kissed him back would monopolize his dreams for a few nights at least.

"Mild hypothermia, wounded pride. Guess which one will heal first?" she finished up with his hand and looked up at him with a smile. "Thank you, for having my back in there," she said with a soft look in her eyes.

He gave her a smile. "Always," he promised her.

She gently touched his knee to help her balance for a moment so she could hop down from the ambulance. She turned back to offer him her hand to help steady himself as he climbed down as well, keeping his good hand for a few moments longer than necessary once he was on his feet in front of her. "We're pretty much wrapped up here for the night; I can finish up everything tomorrow," she started. "I was going to offer to buy you a drink seeing as you saved my ass in there, but it's pretty late to go to a bar. Can I offer you a drink at my apartment instead?"

"I'd like that," he answered her with a grin. He'd take anything she'd offer him these days, and since she'd already told him earlier that Josh was in Africa, he was more than happy to keep her company after the case they'd had; at least he'd be able to pretend she wasn't with the doctor for an hour or so.

"Alright," she smiled. "Come on, Castle," she nudged his shoulder lightly with hers, gesturing for him to follow her back to her car.

The ride back to her apartment was pretty much in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. She couldn't get the kiss they'd shared out of her head. It was supposed to be fake, a ruse to distract the guard so that she could take him out. The problem was it hadn't felt fake to her at all, from either of them.

She knew Castle well enough by now and trusted him enough to know he genuinely hadn't meant anything by kissing her at first; he had just been improvising when his initial plan hadn't worked. But the way it felt when his lips covered hers, even as innocent as it had been initially, set her entire body on fire in a way she'd never felt before…it certainly never felt like that when she kissed Josh. Then she thought of the way he'd jumped on Lockwood and literally beat him senseless with his bare hands to save her, and she suddenly wasn't sure that asking him back to her apartment for a drink at this time of night had been her best idea.

He'd told his mother a couple of days ago when this case had started that it wasn't about the books anymore. His need to be her partner, to continue to risk his life to be by her side had nothing to do with research and everything to do with her. His mother had been right in telling him it was time he was honest with himself about why he was doing it. He only wished he could be honest with Beckett about his motive as well.

He'd come close to telling her earlier in her apartment when she asked him why he kept coming back, but he'd chickened out; this case, anything related to her mother's case, made her vulnerable. He didn't want to be the jackass that added to her problems by being selfish; besides, she had a boyfriend, so he highly doubted she would return his sentiments.

But now instead of going home alone, she had asked him to join her for a drink at her apartment where they would be alone. That had to mean she felt something, right? And she had kissed him back earlier; sure, it was under the ruse of a fake kiss. But fake kisses didn't require her tongue in his mouth, didn't require her moaning or her hands in his hair or her body pressed against his quite so tightly.

"Come on, Castle," she said softly, once she parked her car on the street near the front of her building, which she was allowed to do because of her police plates.

Her voice shook him out of his thoughts, and he got out and followed her inside. The elevator ride remained quiet, as did the walk down the hallway to her apartment.

"Make yourself comfortable," she told him, closing and locking the door behind them. She moved to her kitchen and grabbed a couple of glasses as well as a bottle of whiskey. She carried it over to the living room where he had made himself comfortable on her sofa and sat them down on the coffee table in front of it. Taking a seat, she poured a half a glass for each of them and clinked her glass against his. "To the best partner a girl could ask for," she smiled, downing about half the liquid in her glass.

Her words made him grin and his eyes light up as he downed about half the liquid in his own glass as well. "Really?"

She nodded. "Except he doesn't really help with paperwork," she teased, setting her glass on the table and standing. "I'm going to change, I'll be right back," she told him, disappearing into her room.

He grinned a little more, pretty satisfied with himself at the moment, and finished the liquid in his glass before pouring himself a refill from the bottle. He leaned back into the cushions and relaxed, enjoying the drink in his hands as he waited for her to return.

It didn't take long for Beckett to change her clothes. She'd remained in her jeans, only opting to change out of her work shirt into a more casual and comfortable t-shirt, and she'd removed her heels and placed her gun and badge in her nightstand. She offered him a smile as she rejoined him on the couch, taking her glass and curling her legs up comfortably as she turned her attention to him.

Almost an hour and a half later, he had her laughing hard as he told her a story about his mother. He was a couple of drinks ahead of her; he hadn't drunk enough to not know what he was doing or saying, but he had definitely drunk enough to be looser and braver with his words and feelings. He stopped laughing and got quiet for a moment, getting serious. "You know, you asked me why I keep coming back. I told you it's because I'm your plucky sidekick…but that's not entirely true," he started softly.

She stopped laughing when she realized he was getting serious. His words had her finishing what was left of the alcohol in her glass and placing it on the table. She hadn't had as much to drink as he had, and she'd always been great at holding her liquor. She was relaxed and loose, but she wasn't sure if she'd had enough whiskey to handle where he was taking their conversation; then again, maybe it was better that she hadn't had any more than she'd had at this point. She wasn't sure yet. "Castle…" she tried to stop him.

"A wise woman told me that I should be honest with myself about why I'm doing this," he started, echoing the words of his mother from a few days ago. "She pointed out to me that I wrote 22 novels before I met you, and didn't have to spend every day in a police station. It's not about the research anymore. It hasn't been about the books for a long time. Even Vulcan Simmons saw it, Kate."

"Rick…" she tried to get his attention, to stop him before they went down this road. She hadn't had a chance to process everything from the last few days, much less the kiss they'd shared earlier, the way he'd so bravely saved her life, or her own feelings about him and what it all meant. She certainly was not in a position to deal with everything tonight after 3 glasses of whiskey, despite the fact that she wasn't drunk.

He placed his empty glass on the table as well and shifted closer to her. "So if I'm being honest with myself about why, I want to give you an honest answer too," he said softly, drawing a deep breath. "It's because I'm in love with you, Kate," he continued in the same soft voice. "I keep coming back, I keep showing up to murder scenes in the middle of the night and hanging around because I love you."

His words made her freeze; not only had he said them once…oh no…Castle was an overachiever and said them twice. She knew he'd had a couple more drinks than her, but she also knew that he wasn't drunk enough to not know what was coming out of his mouth. This wasn't a drunk confession that he wouldn't remember tomorrow.

She had no idea how to respond to them. She cared for him; she knew she felt more than friendship for him, but she had a boyfriend. Even without dating Josh to complicate things, he'd ended things with Gina only a couple of weeks prior, and now he was here professing his feelings for her? It was making her head spin.

Why couldn't he have had this epiphany back in May when she was trying to tell him she liked him? Why couldn't he have just not asked Gina to go to the Hamptons immediately after she'd turned him down? Why hadn't he given her a little time to reconsider, or even gone alone? Now there were 8 months of…complicated and significant others…between them.

Before she even knew what was happening, his lips were on hers, soft and tentative. After only a couple of seconds, she placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back slightly. "Castle…I can't do this tonight…" she murmured.

He sighed and hung his head. "I'm sorry…" he immediately began to apologize.

Her hand on his arm stopped him. "You don't have to apologize," she told him softly, standing and pulling him to his feet. "But it is late. And you've had enough to drink." She decided playing it off as the alcohol would keep things from getting weird between them; at least that's what she hoped.

"I'm not drunk, Beckett," he told her, wondering if that's why she had stopped him.

"Maybe not. But you've had enough whiskey to kiss me, which I know you wouldn't have done without the alcohol, so it's time for you to go home." She began to gently guide him towards her front door, grabbing his jacket along the way.

"I kissed you earlier without alcohol," he tried to reason.

She shook her head. "It was fake, Castle...a distraction to get past the guard."

"Didn't feel completely fake to me," he pointed out.

She sighed softly, handing him his coat at the door. "Castle, it's late." She opened her door for him and gave him a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

He sighed deeply. Her rejection had been gentle, but it still stung. "Goodnight, Kate," he said softly, leaving her apartment.

She closed the door behind him, locking it, before leaning back against it and closing her eyes. What the hell had just happened between them? She had known he was attracted to her, but his confession had completely taken her by surprise. And while she knew she definitely felt something for him other than physical attraction, she had a boyfriend...a safe boyfriend...whom she might be able to love if she just stayed with him. She had no idea if she was ready to risk her heart with him; he'd already broken it once in May. She'd already ended one relationship to be with him and gotten burned. She wasn't so sure she was ready to do that again.

Castle rested his head against the wall of the elevator as he rode down, telling himself he'd been an idiot for confessing his feelings like that. "What did you think was going to happen? She has a boyfriend, you idiot...she isn't the type of woman to cheat on her boyfriend for you," he murmured to himself. Maybe she was right, and he had had too much to drink; he was sure he wouldn't have thought to confess his love for her…or kiss her…without the liquid courage he'd had.

When the cold January air hit his face as he walked outside, he suddenly realized what word she'd used. Tonight. She'd told him she couldn't do this tonight. That left him with hope that maybe she wanted to do this one day. She didn't say never, after all. She had been nice about letting him down. She hadn't shot him…or even smacked him…when he'd kissed her. She had simply said she couldn't do this tonight.

He decided then…he would wait, he would fight for her. Maybe not in a completely obvious way, and definitely not in a physical way because he was sure she wouldn't like that. But he would be there; he'd keep showing up for her. That was already one thing he had over Josh…he wasn't halfway around the world when she needed someone. He was actually there. And he would be there for her whenever she let him be. She may have been dating another man, but she didn't have a ring on her finger yet; she didn't seem as committed to Josh as he'd thought...she still told him things she didn't confide in her boyfriend, like the murder board she kept hidden in her apartment; he still had hope. And in the meantime, he wouldn't be stupid enough to start dating other women; he would wait for her.

xxxxx

Alright, that's the first chapter. Hopefully you guys like this one. It will get to Castle and Beckett happiness, trust me. You're just gonna have to go on the journey with me.

As always, I love hearing feedback if you feel so inclined! Thanks for reading!