This is a place for me to put all the random little scenes in my head that don't fit into a larger story. Each chapter will be self-contained and won't be related to any of the other chapters, and will take place anywhere from season 13 to the present. There will be a variety of genres, ratings and plotlines along the way, which I will list at the top of every new update so you can decide if you want to read it or not. Each chapter will concentrate on the friendship and/or romance between Olivia Benson and Amanda Rollins, and will probably feature the other characters from time to time.

I've been working on my other stories but couldn't get this little scene out of my head, so I had to take the time to write it, lol.

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Title: The Hug

Genre: Hurt/comfort/friendship

Rating: T

Season: 16

Episode: N/A

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It's not something she's proud of.

She'll never admit to it out loud, only allowing a private acknowledgement of her awkward desire.

She prides herself on being tough; on being unbreakable; on being able to handle whatever life throws at her, no matter how difficult the task or traumatic the event.

But everyone needs a little physical affection once in awhile, even someone as strong and resilient as she tries to be.

And sometimes all Amanda Rollins wants is a damn hug.

A hug from her, more specifically.

Amanda sits at her desk, watching Olivia Benson pace back and forth in her office, the lieutenant practically wearing a hole in the floor while she converses on the phone. Her beautiful features are pinched and worn, the stress apparent in both her expression and body language, and Amanda wonders if the older woman can use a hug herself.

She won't dare suggest it, not wanting her boss to think she has gone soft or has suffered a head injury that has altered her personality in an enormous way. Amanda doesn't want the woman she has admired for so long to see her as anything less than the dedicated detective that she has worked so hard to become, loathe to be looked upon as someone weak who is in need of coddling and care.

Fearful that Olivia will think she is being unprofessional and inappropriate if she puts a voice to what she truly craves, Amanda slumps dejectedly in her chair. Her head bows down, long blonde hair obscuring the mortifying tears that are suddenly pricking her eyes, Amanda chastising herself for this childish behavior and wondering what is wrong with her.

She generally shies away from physical touch, the gesture either making her feel uncomfortable and fragile, or causing pain and torment, depending on the circumstances. Amanda has shunned the occasional offer of a hug from her teammates when she has been going through a hard time or they've been working on a devastating case, but there is a certain longing she feels when it comes to Olivia.

The warmth, compassion, and tenderness radiating from the other woman makes Amanda ache to be wrapped securely in her arms, safe and sound from anyone or anything in this world that can do her harm. There is nothing in particular that is inducing these intense feelings, however; just an all-encompassing need to be held, Amanda pressing her body more firmly into the chair and clenching her fingers into the desk to prevent herself from moving.

The disconcerting urge to leap up from her seat and march into Olivia's office to demand a hug is becoming more powerful the longer she remains in the squad room, and Amanda is overcome with the abrupt need to flee. It's only a matter of time before someone notices her agitation and asks what her problem is, desperate to either hide this strange yearning or put a stop to it altogether.

Amanda rises from her chair as casually as possible and begins sauntering across the scuffed tiles, trying to decide if she should pretend she's heading toward the bathroom or the coffee machine. As she passes by Olivia's office, the door suddenly swings opens and the older woman appears in front of her, causing Amanda to flinch in surprise and stop in her tracks, eyebrows raised in question.

"Rollins, can you come in here for a moment?"

The inquiry is uttered softly and calmly, but there is an undercurrent of something that Amanda can't quite put her finger on, a nervous flutter in the pit of her stomach now. She nods mutely in response as she follows Olivia inside, watching as the lieutenant closes the door and adjusts the blinds so they are not quite shut but don't allow for a full view from the squad room.

Amanda frowns at Olivia's actions and wonders if she is about to be reprimanded, wracking her brain for what she possibly could have done and baffled when she comes up empty. It isn't often that she can feel confident in her innocence, but this time Amanda knows she is in the clear, no transgressions immediately springing to mind.

"Don't worry, you're not in trouble," Olivia assures her quietly, as if reading her detective's mind, and Amanda lets out a relieved breath. "I just wanted to talk to you in private."

"About what?" That nervousness is spiking again, Amanda worried that something awful has happened and her heart beginning to beat faster at the prospect.

"About you."

"Huh? What about me?" Amanda is confused now, taking a step backward when the brunette moves closer to her, shielding herself from Olivia's potential wrath and knowing she can't handle it right now. "I thought you said I wasn't in trouble."

"You're not," Olivia replies with a tender smile, holding up her hands as if to ward off her detective's defensive attitude. "I've just noticed the way you've been acting at your desk this afternoon and wanted to make sure you're alright. You seem restless and upset, Amanda. And you look like you're on the verge of tears. Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

Despite her attempt to play it cool, a fiery blush explodes across Amanda's cheeks as she averts her gaze from those probing brown eyes, wringing her hands in distress. She curses Olivia's intuitiveness and her need to make sure everyone is okay at all times, forever the caretaker even when she is busy with several cases and other important issues that require her attention.

There is a small part of Amanda that acknowledges the possibility of finally getting what she desires most, if she can just work up the courage to say it aloud. But the other part is larger; the part that knows she's being an immature nuisance and downright weird, and is bothering Olivia when her boss has better things to do.

"I'm fine," Amanda mumbles in shame, unable to make eye contact with the older woman as she jiggles her leg anxiously and scrapes a foot along the floor. She is disappointed that her confidence seems to have abandoned her, leaving this shy and uncertain wreck in its wake, aware that there's no way Olivia will actually believe she's okay if she can't even look her in the eye.

"Well, that didn't sound too convincing," Olivia answers with a gentleness that will be Amanda's undoing if she doesn't escape this conversation and hightail it back to her desk right away. "If there's anything you want to talk about, it will stay between us, okay? Nothing you say will leave this room, you have my word."

It isn't so much what Amanda wants to say, it's what she wants to do, that has her stomach tied up in apprehensive knots, horrified when she finds herself leaning toward Olivia before she can put a halt to her actions. She is stunned when Olivia's arms instantly close around her, like the lieutenant knows exactly what her detective needs in this moment, despite Amanda's usual aversion to physical affection.

Amanda's arms hang loosely by her sides for several seconds, unsure of how to proceed in this peculiar situation, before wrapping them around Olivia's waist in return. They stand there in silence for a few minutes, their embrace gradually tightening the longer they hold onto one another, and Amanda can see why Olivia hadn't wanted to leave the blinds completely open.

She is grateful for the privacy, not wanting her co-workers to have a peek into such a personal encounter, Amanda showing a side of herself that rarely makes an appearance. She still can't pinpoint exactly what it is about today that has made her finally give in to this odd and unsettling urge, nothing out of the ordinary happening and their cases no worse than they normally are.

But despite the strangeness of being cradled in her lieutenant's arms, Amanda takes note of how good it feels as well, how right, and can't seem to stop from snuggling in closer. Olivia responds by tightening her embrace even further, and Amanda is now certain that the older woman has needed this as much as she has, both of them feeling safe enough to emerge from their protective shells and show a little vulnerability.

"Thank you," she whispers when the silence has lengthened between them, although it hasn't been an uncomfortable one, much to Amanda's surprise.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, Liv," she continues in a low voice, suddenly feeling the need to apologize for her uncharacteristic behavior and offer some sort of an explanation. "I'm just-"

"A human being," Olivia finishes for her in a soft, non-judgmental tone. "And every human being needs a hug sometimes, especially in this brutal line of work. It doesn't warrant an apology, Amanda. I actually needed one myself, so I should be thanking you."

Amanda smiles in relief against Olivia's shoulder, pleased that they have both been able to admit their desire for physical comfort and provide it for one another in a low-key way, without an embarrassing emotional scene involving a lot of discussion and tears. She savors the soothing sensation of Olivia's arms around her, realizing they have never shared an embrace before, and hoping this hug will be the first of many more to come.