Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Motion And Heart

…

When you stare long enough at the place you live, you either realize how shitty it is, or how you've spent so many years smelling the rotten apples that you end up unable to recognize the taste of an orchard. Burmecia is the kind of place you wish you could go once in a while and never come back until years later. In my case, I have lived here ever since I was born, and heck, I am like five years-old, what the hell is with the elder talk? Again, another reason to avoid Burmecia, it's filled with the old, be it the people, the homes, the plants, the good old stuff, as well as the bad. I'm so glad I live in the countryside instead of the filled-with-smoke and gray walls kingdom far away and above. Sometimes I really do, the air is fresh and the wind blows away my sweat.

So, Burmecia... Love it or hate it, and because I had to be born here, I feel more conflicted than a random traveller who can simply walk away from here whenever they want to. Counting that I'm a kid, too, living in a place where everyone seemingly knows everyone, united in a silent chord or blood pact or something more sinister than their empty stares. That old man who fought in the war that ended with the Airship Revolution is only 55, but damn, doesn't he look old enough to have met my grandparents playing on these streets... Each day he looks more awful than a zombie dragon, whose dreadful looking skin is covered by the swords and arrows of soldiers who dared to face him in the battlefield.

He sits outside home on a wheelchair, always getting upset with the kids asking for a ride, or if they could borrow it, or the jokes about how that crippled man is mad because he can't satisfy his wife. I mean, she is dead, and I too felt like making a joke about his legs, but that's cruel even to my standards. Kids are fine to poke fun at, they're idiots, but that man is another story. I mean, he is a war hero, he fought hard for this country and there he is, sitting outside home, watching people pass by under the rain, his legs as useless as casting Phoenix Down on a dead bird. I guess he'll die alone too, as if his life was not miserable enough, but hey, his dog gave birth to a lot of puppies, so I guess life isn't just a pile of misery pie thrown in your face.

That man has plenty of stories to tell if you ask him, from when he was a soldier fighting against Alexandria to a child who could feel the grass under his feet. I heard one of his many tales about war and I swear I could not sleep that day with the "I held a pile of goo that used to be my friend's face" sentence living rent-free in my mind. The way he said it, so cold and sterile...

Overhearing a conversation with a Dragoon, he said something about how he had plenty of choices when young, and how life is all but doors of choices you could have taken that keep closing each day. I could not take that quote away from my mind, and it was the same day I saw a girl change her clothes from a window. "Pretty girl, she got two pairs of eyes", I think it was Dan who said that. "Say that to your mother, or Learie'', I said, somehow feeling frustrated.

Breasts aren't that powerful to make you forget about life. To be fair, that forbidden experience did more harm than good. Dan could not stare at Learie for a week, until he settled down and realized, as much as I did, that women can be terrifying in every shape. Then we heard Learie's annoying voice, and everything went back to normal. I hate how Dan feels the need to tell me he finds Learie cute while I find her silly. As silly as Fratley? Maybe. Or maybe not. Fratley is a different kind of silly, he talks about living carrots on the moon, a village of sentient ragdolls, he dreams about flying on his bed to a watermelon land...

— Hiya, Jack! – Fratley greeted me with a wave of hand.

— How's it going, buddy?

— I was in the garden looking out for worms. – He said as we walked across the neighborhood. – Then, I found something else... A black ladybug! Like, not a red with black dots ladybug, but a black with red dots ladybug, it was so tiny and she crawled all over me. I'd show it to you, Jack, but sadly she's gone. Flew away. It's gone.

— Fascinating. – I do admire Fratley's simplicity. He does not seem to be bothered by anything at all. Wish I could be like him under wartime conditions.

— I swear I saw a black ladybug. With red spots, nonetheless. I even told mom's and she asked if I ate it, to which I said... No. Of course not! They taste awful!

— Indeed they do. – I said, unaware of a ladybug's taste but with Fratley you don't have many options about what to say, you just let him be the weirdo he is or move on to something else.

— By the way, I am ready to go to the Kudzu Forest anytime!

— Are you?

— Yes! – I don't know if there are any words to describe the kind of energy emanated by Fratley. Such enthusiasm is hard for a kid to borrow these days, at least for me. I'd spend all that energy breaking glass or throwing the biggest of tantrums. – I will ask my brother for help, but he ain't home yet.

— And where is he?

— Zack has been working odd jobs since father left. You know, to get some money and help mom.

— That's good.

— I cleaned my own hat today, see? – Fratley took his green cap out as the rain washed his sandy hair.

— I do.

— Can you smell the soap?

— Soap? Oh, yes. – I said, unsure if I could recognize any scent whatsoever. A faint smell of pine is all I get to feel.

— Sure you do, hehe. – As I listen to Fratley's words, everything and everyone just kind of disappears from my sight, I don't know how to explain it. The world gets smaller and there's just noise to be heard, people talk about their problems and I am unable to do anything to solve them. Why do I even care if someone else's child is ill in bed? My mother is also ill and there's nothing I can do about it. A prayer, maybe, but I'm not in the mood.

— ...I put my fingers on the water for too long and they wrinkled. I yelled "Mom I am getting older!", but it was just my fingers wrinkling because they were wet, hehe. Hey Jack... you look awful.

— Do I? – I thought no one would notice, but Fratley is showing concern. He does not need to, really.

— Uh... Yeah. What's up? Did a fire ant bite your butt?

— No. Mom's sick. She's in bed. – I lied. While it's true that Lennie got a fever, that's the least of my worries. Is mother sick? That's fine, she always gets better, but my father,,, I haven't heard about him in weeks and he may be dead, goddamnit! And there's nothing I can do about it.

— Oh... I hope she's okay.

— It's nothing. – I said, still feeling down. – Just another cold. She will get better.

— And your brother? What about him?

— My brother? He'll be fine too.

— Are you sure?

— I'm pretty sure. He is a Crescent, after all.

— It could be her, though! – Fratley giggled.

— Whatever. – I said. If anything ever happens to Lennie and my brother, then... Nothing will happen, forget it. I've been craving so much disaster recently, it is not healthy to keep up living like that. – No need to worry about it, Fratley.

— Okay. – Said Fratley, staring at a pond covered in duckweed. Larger than the Palace, I could say, but I'm not so sure. – Hey, I know this place!

— Do you?

— Yes, my father brought me here once! Me and my brothers. It's called Bahamut Lagoon, and we went here to see the ducks.

— Well, I see no ducks. – I said, wondering if this place used to be populated by any living beings other than the green carpet above the water. Yuck! This place looks disgusting as a pile of Burmecian hairballs.

— Hmmm... I wonder where they are. – Fratley borrows a kind of excitement that is hard to find these days, as well as the kind of worry that belongs to every boy of his age. I speak as if we did not have almost the same age... – Maybe they left this place a long time ago. What do you think, Jack?

— Yeah, maybe. – I said, carefully watching my steps to not fall below the pond's surface. Some say this place looks beautiful, and I have mixed feelings about it. Maybe I am too young to have beauty standards or too old to be feeling the signs of decay in every place of my country.

— For a place called Bahamut Lagoon, it has seen better days for sure. – Said Fratley, who looked terrified. Silly as he is, indeed he was afraid, and who else wouldn't be in his place?

We slowly get away from the pond to not wake up the "Bahamut" within the Lagoon, in case the legends we heard about monster fishes are proven to be true. I heard a lot of them. People talking about river sharks, fish with lungs, electric eels, chocobos breeding basilisk eggs, man eating pikes and about half of these are true, the rest is bullshit meant to scare children.

— I don't like this place – I said, right after I threw a rock in a desperate attempt to see if there are any fishes on the pond. None of them appeared, not even the ducks supposed to eat all of the weed, which left me wondering if they're all dead after these nasty plants drained all of the air from the stagnant water, leaving nothing but soulless husks of life and an awful looking pea soup aspect behind.

The water lilies look pretty, though. I suppose that's the nature of life, you die and you're surrounded by flowers.

Sometimes I want to leave Burmecia for good, like forever. I'm never coming back and I could care less about the King wanting us to live here or the Priest telling us we're safe under God's blessing in the rain, but then I remember mom is at home and I think about how she would feel if I were to leave her without warning. And what the hell would I use to defend myself from any monsters I may encounter in the outside world? A carrot sharp as a knife? Like, it's so hopeless, yet so brave. Still hopeless, though.

— Hey Jack... Does your brother have a name? – Fratley asked.

— Not that I know. – I said, noticing a few ferns growing between the cracks on the limestone road. Whenever I get bored, I begin to notice things I see everyday as if they were sort of unique and fascinating. For a land where it rains nonstop, you do not even care if your clothes are wet.

— Mind if I come up with one?

— Well... – I have absolutely no idea what happens inside Fratley's mind, but I'll take the risk. This time. – Sure. Go ahead.

— KNEECAPS! – Well, that was quick. Almost spontaneous.

— What!? Kneecaps?

— Ya heard me!

— B-But that's not even a name! – I bet it didn't take a second or two for Fratley to come up with that "name".

— It is!

— Is it, though?

— Uh huh.

— Why Kneecaps? I'm curious.

— Because it's cute. – Fratley seems to be trying to cheer me up. He is quite insistent, and I do admire the effort.

— Kneecaps Crescent. Truly a legend to live for countless generations. Is that a boy's name?

— Wait! I got a girl's name too. Uh... PANCAKE!

— Let me guess... It's because it's cute.

— No, I'm just hungry. – I heard Fratley and his stomach growling too.

— Didn't you have lunch?

— Nah, only breakfast. A hard bread, sweaty cheese, dried milk, same as usual.

— I see. Wait, sweaty cheese?

— Yeah, it's awful. I mean, it tastes good, but it looks like someone's sweaty face, all drippy and moist and filled with holes.

— Cheese often looks nasty like that. – I said, still feeling worried about something. Not my mom, or the cheese eaten by Fratley, but... – Remember we have to go to the Kudzu Forest, okay?

— I didn't forget that, Jack.

— Good.

— I mean, we just talked about it a while ago.

— We did? Oh, right.

— Are you doing fine?

— I am. It's just… Well, I need to be sure we're prepared, for real. That place is dangerous as hell.

— Have you been there before?

— No, but I heard it is a wicked place. A few dared to trespass but not everyone came back, so the others told me. – And by others, I meant dad. I'm pretty sure he never went there as well, he just heard something as a kid and carried it on for life. Almost everything I know about who I am and my place in the world has been told from mouth to mouth and a few books written by people who spoke to each other.

— You did not ask Lennie about it? I mean... She is a Dragoon, right? She's got plenty of weapons.

— Yeah, but those spears are too heavy for me. It is useless. – I said, taking something out of my pockets. – Except for this slingshot, I couldn't bring anything else with me. And it's not even loaded, damn!

— There is plenty of ammunition around. – Said Fratley, holding a stone he found in the ground. – Here.

— Thanks. – I humbly accepted Fratley's offer, though the stone he gave me is pretty small, the size of a walnut. Still, it's hard enough to break a basilisk's skull, in case we come across one. This week, I haven't found any, not that I'm fond of killing this plague for a few gil.

— I heard from my brother about a warrior who fought his enemies by tossing coins at them.

— How silly. He must have been rich to waste money like that.

— He was a thief.

— Oh... That explains a lot. – It still makes no sense, but who am I if not a talking rat whenever I stand before a mirror? And Burmecia has plenty of those. It's like the rain exists to remind us what we are by each water puddle. I see a distorted figure way too often.

— We'll get in the Kudzu Forest after lunch. – Said Fratley as we arrived near his house. A simple Burmecian home, shaped like a bell, with walls covered by some beautiful patterns made of colored stone around the windows and the front door.

If only I could describe it further... It's something you only see here in Burmecia and nowhere else. Not that I ever visited another country, but even the few travellers from Lindblum and Alexandria were quite impressed by the buildings they saw. "Your kind made these?", as one of them asked. Ignoring that awful statement, even I am surprised. I don't know, this place may not be a cesspit as I and a million by default make it be.

— Want to eat something? – Said Fratley, knocking the door.

— Why not? I told mom I was going to have lunch here, after all.

— Me too! – He said as the door opened before us. Fratley jumped on his mother to offer her a big hug. – Mom! Glad to see you. This is my friend Jack, and he is hungry! So do I, but Jack here wants to swallow the whole moon, he is that hungry!

— Nice to meet you, Jack. – Said Fratley's mom, greeting me. – I suppose you are hungry.

— I am. – Not quite like how your son described, but I am.

— I'll prepare something for you both. Be patient.

— Alright. – I said.

— I'll wait as much as you need, mom! – Said Fratley, letting go of his mother's arms.

I wish I was that excited. Lennie will be alright. I mean, she is a freaking Dragon Knight, I do not need to feel any worries. She will be fine... I hope so.