Her companions were talking to her from all sides, asking her to just listen but it only made her angrier.

"Now give her a moment, you are just hassling her further" Kíli hissed and went closer to her, as if to build a wall towards the others and luckily they listened and Aragorn even asked Gimli and Legolas to give them a moment. "Lhindril now please listen and don't interrupted me" her brother-in-law wrapped an arm around her and gave Aragorn a glance whereupon he left. She only managed a little nod to confirm even if she wasn't sure she could keep quiet. But he still started "So what we were trying to tell you is that Fíli is alive. He's hurt very badly but he could make it. Do you hear me? He lives" she let out a breath of relief and he chuckled a little "You shouldn't have interrupted us, huh? But maybe it's for the better you first thought the worst, so now the bad news actually is a bit of a relief I guess" she nodded and buried her face against his shoulder and started crying harder but this time from relief and probably joy.

"How…" she finally stammered and to her surprise Kíli understood what she meant.

"The idiot jumped in front of me to save my life. I had already accepted my death and at first I didn't realise what had happened. Only when my brother collapsed at my feet did I realise what he had done. He can be lucky the Orcs thought he was dead and left him alone while I fought them. Or maybe that was the reason; since they were occupied with me. But they still managed to overpower me and then threw me to the ground. The destruction of the ring saved me, when this thunder and blast came. The Orcs just all ran away in panic while Sauron's tower fell and Mordor sank into the ground. I only got back to the here and now when Fíli grabbed my shoulder and told me to take him with us and let you know that you mean everything to him. As did I. He passed out after that and then the others came and thought it was too late to help him and for a moment I did too. Luckily Legolas saw he was still alive, so we got him onto your brother's horse and got back here. And well you did witness the rest yourself" she nodded and remembered the words she had spoken to Faramir earlier, that surely one of the brothers would sacrifice himself for the other and it probably had happened at the same time as she said it. Fate could be weird sometimes…

"I want to see him"

"Of course but I doubt he's conscious right now. And please don't worry he's looking really bad. The wounds I mean." With a nod she noticed how her stomach clenched but knew it wouldn't change her mind, she had to see him and know he was alive. But the feeling got even worse on the way to the healing halls and the moment she saw her husband, she felt her heart flutter but at the same time she felt bad because she had already seen the many wounds that littered his upper body. "are you alright?" Kíli asked and if she wouldn't want to turn around and come back later when the treatment was over. She shook her head

"I'll be fine" she muttered and slowly stepped closer to the gurney he was on, intently watching the healers that were currently trying to undress his upper body. The work was tedious because his shirt was mainly little shreds that where sticking to the wounds and had to be removed one by one and it looked very painful. Her crying increased and she felt tears running down her cheeks and she started to feel glad that Fíli wasn't conscious right now and wouldn't feel the pain. Then suddenly she felt her brother-in-law's hand on her shoulder carefully turning her around so she faced him instead of his brother

"You shouldn't see this. Come" but not matter what he said and told her she should not watch this she just couldn't leave. Even though she wasn't looking and hugging Kíli instead it felt like she still was there for her husband. Every now and then a little curse or gasp came from one of the healers and each time she pressed Kíli closer and he did the same, starting to stroke her back gently. She also hoped that Fíli would stay unconscious until the treatment was over and maybe a bit longer so he wouldn't be in too much pain. On the other hand she hoped she also could talk to him soon.

With time more and more people started to gather around them and seemed to be watching. Not that this bothered her, in a way she found it nice they cared but then some of them started talking and she didn't like this at all and it made her angry.

"Do you think the Orcs wanted to gut him?" someone joked and another one thought the healers were wasting their time on him because it sure was already too late

"I don't give him more than three days. Just look at him, I doubt anyone could survive that"

"Three? He's lucky if he makes it through the night" someone else muttered.

"Or even wakes up at all"

"I'm in"

"How much?" at this she snapped and she broke away from Kíli, feeling so much anger at these men and wondering how cold and careless you had to be to do something like this. She faced them, not even bothering to wipe off her tears.

"Who do you think you are? Where's your respect of death? Do you think this is funny or something? Is this a joke to you or just a game? I don't know who Fíli is to you but for me he is everything and if he doesn't make it…. I just don't know. I wouldn't know what to do, I just can't. How would you feel if someone who means the world to you would be lying there?" then she sank back into Kíli's arms and he hugged her, making shushing sounds but she could feel he to was angry at the men. Her knees sagged and they both sat down on the floor.

"Come on. Let's go" he finally said "You could lie down and get some rest" her head shot up

"No" she whimpered and hit him so he would let go of her and then used him as support to get onto her feet. Ignoring everyone, especially the healers who told her what a bad idea it was, she sat down at the head end of Fíli's gurney and took his hand. She leant down and nuzzled his nose with hers and it made her smile a little. Her other hand came to the one she held too, cupping it as if to protect him "What have they done to you, my love?" she whispered.

-oOo-

The following two days she spent almost completely at her husband's side. She had insisted that they brought his bed next to the wall so she could use it to lean against and made sure his head was in her lap all the time. She also rarely let go of his hand and talked to him, telling him how much he meant to her and that everything would be fine soon. Although there was no reaction, she was sure he could hear her even though he was not conscious. Sometimes, at very irregular periods he also woke up. It was around five times per day and his moments awake lasted from a couple of seconds to almost an hour. Somehow, she wasn't sure how much she liked those phases because then always healers would come and talk to him, ask him a thousand questions he should answer and always wanted to send her away because 'he needed peace and quiet'. A part of her didn't understand at all why they wanted her gone when the healers seemed to upset him just as much. Or maybe it was because the first time Fíli woke was when his wounds were being stitched up and naturally, the pain had made him go feral and while he kept relatively quiet except for a few curses she knew he just wanted to scream. But then he had seen her and suddenly his whole face lit up and he got calmer while he tried to tell her something and made a grab for her hand but then stopped because of his own cry of pain. At this she got so mad that she started yelling at the healers and told them not to hurt him and be more careful until Kíli gently pulled her away. And this wasn't something her husband liked and it seemed like he wanted to go after her and called out her name, which then turned into a scream of pain. One she was certain followed her to her dreams for weeks.

Suddenly she noticed that the thoughts had made her cry again and she was quick to wipe the tears away before squeezing Fíli's hand tighter. There were steps but she only looked up when she heard Legolas' voice.

"They are serving dinner. Are you sure you don't want to come?" as always, she shook her head because she didn't like leaving the healing room or even Fíli's side on her free will. The only time she really left was to use the toilet. The Elf gave a little nod and gave her the bowl with dinner. Mumbling a small thank you, she placed it on the floor next to her "Do you want me to stay and bear you company?" he asked, making her shrug. She was visited very often by the companions and especially her brother and Kíli spent hours with them. Like this she learned that Frodo and Sam had survived and could be rescued from Mordor but Frodo was injured badly. Sam on the other hand was fine and he had even visited her a few times. In fact, the only one of the fellowship who didn't come to visit (except for Frodo who was confined to bed and couldn't come) was Gandalf. He only was here one time just after they returned. But instead Faramir was around very often, probably because he too still had to stay here. "Are you not eating?" she glanced up at Legolas and realised how he must have interpreted her thinking as her not wanting to eat. She didn't know if she even wanted to and despite the fact she didn't eat much in the past days she had never really been hungry. "I think I will leave you alone because you seem to need some rest" he said softly and smiled before leaving the room. Only now she threw a glance at the food. Chicken with bread and potatoes.

"Is he gone?" she suddenly heard Fíli whisper and as always her heart beat more quickly because she rarely had been that happy to hear his voice as in the past days. Because after all it could be the last time...

"You're awake?" she half hissed in joy and he shushed her before lifting his hand, what cost him a lot of effort, and tried to touch her face. When she realised what he wanted to do, she helped guide it. When she felt his fingers stroking her cheek but then she remembered that soon the healers would come and it would again get very uncomfortable

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy I'm awake?" her face must have changed.

"Of course but now I have to call the healers and then they'll try to send me away again"

And who said you have to call them?"

"They said that every time you wake up I should..." he almost smiled at that

"I know that. But do they have to know I'm awake now? After all, can a husband be blamed to be wanting to talk to his wife alone for a moment?"

"Alright" she smiled and got an idea "Are you hungry? I just got my food and though you haven't eaten in days so you might want something"

"I do but the healers said I should only drink in the first few days. But thank you. And thank you for staying here with me, you don't know how much this means to me"

"You're most welcome"

"I hope you don't feel obligated to stay here?"

"No not at all. I just want to be here with you. Did you know that Kíli came every evening and told me I could sleep and he'd keep watch? Often he stayed the whole night."

"No, I didn't. What even happened these days?"

"I don't know that much either. But Sauron got defeated since Frodo managed to destroy the ring. Him and Sam are fine but Frodo needs to stay in bed for some time now. The other companions are fine too. And everyone is constantly reminding me that I have to decide if I want to reign Gondor and if yes to plan the coronation"

"You call that not knowing much?" he gave her a weak smile.

"Well, the others know more and more details because I only heard it second hand from them since I only really was here after I heard what happened. How are you feeling by the way?"

"Not really well. And you?"

"I'm not sure. Physically I'm fine and uninjured but there just is this fear to lose you and not knowing what's going to happen"

"Hey, listen to me" he tightened the grip on her hand as good as he could and pulled it to his chest "I swear that I will do everything I can that my heart continues beating. For you as it always has"

-oOo-

But despite his promise his condition got worse in the coming days and some healers started to doubt he would survive. And even the other members of the fellowship and her friends seemed to give up hope, except for Kíli and her. Nevertheless, they both noticed that Fíli was feeling worse and worse. He woke up less frequently and was weaker but still neither of them wanted to believe that they could lose him. Ever since Fíli had woken, talked to her and made his promise she was certain that he was fighting to survive with all he could. Unfortunately, that also was the last time she was able to talk to him because suddenly, Kíli had been there and accused them both of being irresponsible because Lhindril should have told the healers and claimed that she was making his brother exert himself. And that she had to see what was best for him and told her to go find the healers to tell them Fíli was awake. However, her husband didn't like it either and he complained and it almost ended in a fight that she had to stop. To her further dismay the fight had also made a healer notice what was going on and she got another lecture and she really had to pull herself together not to knock anyone down.

Every so often she wished she could turnback time and stop the brothers from going to Mordor. She had a feeling that Kíli too was wishing for this because she noticed how he was blaming himself for what had happened and that it should be him lying there on the brink of death. It even went that far that others kept telling him not to think like this and trying to support her instead.

"Lhindril, you have to get some sleep, it can't continue like this. You don't help anyone like this, especially not your husband" a healer pulled her from her thoughts. Only a few hours after she had settled into the healing halls the healers started to call her by her name instead of title. She didn't mind but it seemed like some healers didn't appreciate the fact that she just called them by their names right back. At least one seemed to mind and she wasn't sure if he just couldn't stand her in general. And to her dismay that was the very healer who was with her right now.

"I'm not leaving. Not as long as Fíli doesn't get better" he sighed.

"Don't you understand that there is no hope left? It is too strange. His wounds are healing well and still he keeps getting worse. No one can explain it"

"Well then ask my husband. Maybe he can tell you? After all you won't let me talk to him"

"No, it's obvious that he has given up. Otherwise he would already be feeling better. That's how I see it"

"No" she yelled "He wouldn't do this. He promised me. And if you think he won't make it, why are you still taking care of him?" she didn't that she was crying again.

"I think it's better if you leave now and leave her alone" she heard Faramir's voice and looked up at him, even more thankful when the healer gave a nod and did leave. Faramir sat down, placing a hand on her shoulder

"Why does everyone think he will not make it?"

"You too can see that his condition keeps getting worse. I'm not saying it's right to give up hope but if you are too optimistic you will suffer even more if he does die. I'm sorry" another healer approached them and she shook her head

"But Fíli promised that he won't stop fighting death"

"We know and I'm sure he does. But as it seems death is an opponent he cannot defeat this time" one of the healers said "You need to understand that there is only a slim chance he will survive"

"Maybe that's because he's not eating? We have to try it, please"

"It's not that but something else. And yet no one of us can tell what it is or even do something against it" a thought went through her head; Elves were the beast healers of Middle Earth and she wanted to find Legolas and ask him to have a look himself or if he knew anyone who could do something. Carefully, she lifted Fíli's head and got up, needing to support herself against the wall because her legs almost gave in. After all she never really got up much these days and her legs often fell asleep. But once live came back to her muscles, she darted off to find Legolas and luckily found him not too much later

"Legolas!" she called from afar "You have to help" he came over and obviously must have thought it was an emergency. Well, maybe it was. "It's about Fíli. You have to take a look because the healers can't find anything. Maybe you can. Come on, let's go."

"I'm sorry, I need to find Arag-..." she didn't let him talk further and grabbed his arm instead

"Oh no, you're not doing that again. You won't again excuse yourself by saying you have to find my brother when Fíli is dying. He is dying! You can't do this"

"Listen" he freed his arm "If you hadn't interrupted me I would have already told you that I need to find him so he can help. He too has knowledge of medicine"

"Oh... Sorry" she muttered looking down and taking a step back. "I could help looking for him" they found him quite soon but it would seem that her brother had other plans.

"Lhindril, I'm sory but we both have to attend a council meeting. Now. And yes they need both of us; it is about the future of Gondor and who will claim the throne. You know how important that is. I could postpone it until now but they are getting very impatient" she wanted to yell at him how he and the council could dare to make her do something like this in that time and that she had better things to do. But before she could even do something, Legolas put a hand on her shoulder.

"You two go, I will try to find out what is wrong with Fíli"

"Legolas when you get there, please tell Faramir we need him too" he turned back to his sister "he got there to fetch you for the meeting" with that he led her to the throne room where a lot of men were already sitting around a table. Aragorn showed her where to sit and then took a seat himself. Somehow she didn't want to sit and preferred to stand but she still complied. Shortly after Faramir entered with Éowyn and she threw a look in their direction in confusion but then understood and smiled. She was happy to see that they had found each other and made a mental note to talk to them later on about it and congratulate them. After all both of them were her friends. Faramir sat down at the head end of the table and instantly started.

"As steward of Gondor the responsibility of the realm is mine, but not for much longer, as I will relinquish my rights" he paused and then looked at Lhindril and her brother "It are the children of Arathorn who have the right to claim the throne and title of High King or Queen of Gondor and Arnor" she almost rolled her eyes not able to understand how they haven't yet realised that she didn't want this. Maybe a formal resignation was what they wanted.

"Seeing that I am the older child of my father I know that the throne is mine but as I have so often said I do not want it. I cannot and therefore I relinquish all rights I hold to the throne and pass them to my brother"

"Are you certain?" someone asked and even though he seemed to be a part of the council she wasn't interested in knowing his name. Or any of their names even. Maybe later after everything had settled a bit.

"I am. Because I cannot leave Fíli. If he survives I want to be with him. And if... if he... then I don't think I could take on that responsibility and reign and be there for the people"

"Maybe it's better that way" she turned her head and this man she recognized. It was the one who had suggested the bet about how long her husband would survive. "She is an illegitimate bastard who spent most of her life with Dwarves. And seeing how she chooses her dying husband over us means we only would be second choice" she felt an anger rising in her. Who did this man think he was? She got up and tried to lunge at him, trying to make him pay for his words and the bet but to her dismay Aragorn stopped her. So instead she ran off, out of the room and without an idea where to go, so she stopped in the big courtyard outside, whishing she could just go to Fíli as she usually did in situation that he could hold and comfort her and tell her that everything would be alright. But this time she couldn't. Maybe never again. And the worst part for her was that the man was correct. Especially about the last part; that her husband indeed was dying.