Loneliness is not like solitude. Solitude is a wanderer who keeps you company of your own volition. A friend that lays his hand on your shoulder and says 'Until next time' before leaving, never overstaying its welcome. Loneliness is different, ironically it's not alone. It has friends. These friends have names like misery or agony. And when they are there, they usually come to stay.

Dudley already was beyond the point of having loneliness's friends entering his mental house, they had already chosen rooms and were raiding the fridge at night. He was glad to be out tonight meeting someone who wasn't his colleague or the advisor.

He tried reaching out to some friends days ago, just to get his mind off work or off her. But most of them were unavailable almost every night, dealing with families and such. A lot of them had tried to tell him to ask Phil. After all, he was single and hadn't had much going on anyway. Dudley always told them that he had already tried reaching him but to no avail.

They didn't know what he knew. Phil would never answer again. Dudley wasn't usually getting his hands that dirty while fulfilling the duty, but things needed to be done this time. Phil had been doing these horrendous things far too long under the radar. He should have walked to the police back then and been done with everything.

Most probably something would have stuck and they had arrested him. But that had taken time, and Phil, as it turned out, had already planned for a getaway. The night Dudley told him that he knew about the murders, about the children, was the first night he lost his temper. He had just pushed him, he had never expected his former friend to stumble and fall against the edge of the table.

The stream of blood from his head seemed endless and the puddle it formed had almost engulfed him too. Dudley's first impulse had been to call for help but an inner voice stopped him and made him watch until the red river became a weak stream that finally dried up.

It felt like a far memory when it came to his mind, but it had been just two weeks since then. The meeting with the advisor afterward was obligatory, but Sam didn't care about the murder.
"Did you get the plans for the building?"

"Yes." Dudley's answer sounded robotic and monotone back then.
"And you got rid of the remains?"
"I found a place."

"It is irrelevant then, from my perspective." After that, their conversation revolved around mundane things again. It was bizarre how much Sam didn't care about Dudley murdering someone. And for Dudley, it was even more bizarre how much indifference he also felt about it. Not that he thought he had done the world a favor but, seeing what was done by Phil, he also wasn't mourning for his friend.
He could simply live with it and return to his empty apartment. Phil was out of the picture.

He would have resorted to work probably if his mom hadn't invited him for today. Her invitation was a little surprising, she was at the point that she enjoyed the absence of her son in her house so much that she mostly visited Kitty and him. But after checking his calendar the matter became clearer and Dudley felt ashamed that he hadn't remembered the day. It was his father's birthday today, and he knew how lonely his mother felt on that particular day.

He had never been a fan of the day since his father died. And knowing and seeing how his father died, after his time travel mishap, made the day a little worse for him than it already was. Dudley was always put back into the moment on this bridge. Seeing how he fell into the water… He knew that he also had to tell his mother one day about this secret, even though that meant at first explaining to her that he had time-traveled.

He told most of the people and her another lie back then. It was strange, these events were so defining for him and he couldn't share them knowing that nobody would believe it.
He once more felt his tower of lies crumbling, but maybe the rubble wasn't so bad after all. Rubble meant no balancing anymore, no more careful choice of words, no more hiding.

The feeling of uncertainty followed Dudley as he knocked on his mother's front door. As it opened a rare sight greeted Dudley.
"Stanley?" he asked and immediately knew what surprise his mother was talking about. Looking at him was another blue-eyed dog that looked, besides a few inches more height and a smaller nose, almost exactly like Dudley. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh hey, Dudley!" Stan replied excitedly and pulled him inside. "Mom wasn't sure if you come and I got to be honest, me neither."
"Stan, in case I repeat myself, what are you doing here?"

"Oh sweetie! You made it!" Peg Puppy, wearing her usual blue dress paired with a bigger pearl necklace than usual, entered the room from the kitchen and hugged her youngest son so tightly that her glasses almost fell off. "I'm so glad you could make it. Mitzy isn't here?"
"Kitty," He corrected her stoically. "And no, she's… at work. And second, what is Stan…"
"Oh sweetie, Stanley is out of rehab and clean!" Peg interrupted him in a way Dudley was very used to. He was also used to her forgetting an 'again' at the end of this statement.

"Oh is that so…? Fifth time's the charm then, huh?" He replied and didn't even try to hide his cynicism.
"Fingers crossed." Crossing his fingers Stanley grinned at his brother. Dudley nodded stoically and moved into the kitchen where his mom was setting the table. Without actively participating in the conversation his mom had more or less with herself, he helped her arrange everything.

She tended to do that, just talking about the neighbors or what happened in the grocery store. Dudley figured it was her way to bond. Since he was a child, he had learned to zone in and out during these moments. "Oh sweety, you must be thirsty," Peg said stopping herself in her mindless drivel. "Do you want to drink something? I have some orange juice in the fridge."

"Earl grey." Dudley meant and both of them exchanged glances.
"The tea?" Peg stared at him confusedly, it must have been decades since someone in the house had prepared some tea. Coffee was the dominating hot beverage.

"Y..yes." Dudley stared back at her even more confused not knowing what had just gotten into him.
"But you don't drink tea. You never did!" Peg sounded almost like he had just ordered 3 fingers of brandy on the rocks.

"I started… a… colleague of mine has recommended it because my coffee consumption was going through the roof." He explained and his mother, though still perplexed, nodded.
"I'll fill the kettle then."

"Thanks mom. I go see what Stan is up to…" On the halfway point between the kitchen and living room Dudley allowed himself to shudder. What was going on lately with him and tea? The taste was okay, and it had a similar though a little different effect as coffee on him. So, it was serviceable in his eyes, but still, he never thought about getting one in private. It was almost like he was somehow drawn to it lately.

In the living room, Stan was watching T.V. while his feet were rooted onto their mother's beloved but still outrageously ugly beech wood table.
"Feet off the table," Dudley ordered and flopped down into the old armchair. When Stan didn't even react to Dudley's words, he repeated them louder and sterner. "Feet. Of. The. Table."

"Jeez, calm down." Stan finally complied. "You sound like dad."
"I also feel like that lately." He sighed and closed his eyes as he leaned back into the armchair.
Stan's answer was a noise that was somewhere between agreeing and indifference while concentratedly watching the screen.

"So you're going to move in here again?" Dudley asked after a while of listening to whatever movie Stan was watching.
"Mom was so nice to give me your old room."
"Oh… how courteous of her…" Dudley mumbled sinking deeper into the upholstery.
"Oh, little bro found a dictionary." Stan sneered and changed the channel.

"Yeah, maybe because it was the only thing you didn't pawn after your third relapse." Dudley opened his eyes, he wanted to see the impact of his words. "Or was it number four?"
"Hey, I said I'm sorry!" Stan protested and for the first time turned away from the T.V. "And I am still trying to give her the money back."

"Stan, you stole anything of worth and her purse." Dudley moaned as he heaved himself out of the armchair. "She was struggling to pay the mortgage the months afterwards."
"So what? I bet you had the chance to step in and pay and be the hero again." Stan mocked and looked back at the T.V. "Mr. Goodie Two-Shoes back at it again."

"Do you think I do that because I want to? Do you think this is fun?" He hissed aggressively. "Do you think I like picking up the mess you leave every time?"
"Oh come on, Dudley. This is exactly your thing. You were always the golden child." Stan huffed in disgust and his eyes glued back to the T.V.. Dudley had enough, he grabbed the remote and switched it off.

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? I was the golden child?! I?! You were the child prodigy who went to this expensive private school for the gifted. You were the one mom and dad talked about all the time. When the conversation came to me the subject was changed with the words 'yes, he's a cutie'. You were always in the limelight and I was in the shadow. So don't fucking blame me for fucking the whole goddamn thing up for yourself!"

"Dudley!" Peg's voice was like a knife cutting through the air. "Don't talk like that to your brother!"
"Yeah, don't talk like that." Stan agreed with her and grinned widely while doing so.
Dudley bit his tongue, he didn't want to say it: 'Just swallow your words and take your losses'. But sometimes his mouth was quicker than the logic that at least tried to control it.

"Dad would be disgusted to see you like this." The words squeezed out of him like a prisoner through a barbed wire and were followed by silence. His family looked at him, in shock, like he broke an unwritten sacrament. The punishment for his heresy followed quickly as not Stan but his own mother slapped him across the face. Dudley stumbled backward stunned by the might of the blow.

"How dare you say such a thing!" Peg howled with tears in the corners of her eyes. "He would have never been disgusted by one of you two… but these words Dudley… these words would have disgusted him. He would have kicked you out for saying such a thing!"

Dudley inadvertently touched his face where his mother had hit him. The spot burnt like fire. Peg walked to the front door and opened it with crossed arms she waited next to it.
"Mom…" his voice was almost a gasp as he understood what she wanted.
"I love you Dudley, but that's enough for a day." Peg angrily turned her face away from him and Stan grabbed Dudley by the shoulder.

"Don't touch me." He growled and shoved the hand off himself before glumly striding through the doorway. It didn't even take another step of him before the door was slammed shut. Probably by Stan. The sound echoed in his head like thousand church bells. What just happened? He had never seen his mother so angry at him, not even after his worst shenanigans.

Dudley stumbled down the driveway his face felt like it was swollen, even if a quick check in the side mirror later didn't confirm that. This had been no ordinary slap of her, this had been a clear message to stay away. A part of him wanted to look back, maybe go back and apologize even. But would that have any use? And just turning around for the sake of seeing Stan and his mom sitting at the dinner table talking and having fun was nothing he was willing to do.

He took a deep breath knowing that he would be the idiot who comes back after a few days and picks up what Stan left in pieces. He thought about checking his savings account, though the sum wasn't unheard of, paying his mother's expenses for a month was certainly a financial burden.

Also, he had to explain to Kitty what was going on then, and he tried to not involve her too deeply in the Puppy family matters, at least not yet. She had her own family and they tended to be even more problematic than his mom and his brother.

"Golden child my ass." He swore as he searched his pockets for his keys. They had tried to hide in one of his jacket's inner pockets but to no avail. Dudley was about to unlock the car as his eyes glanced down the street. The old Katswell house was a ruin which made it stick out even more from the rest of the relatively well-kept buildings around it.

By squinting his eyes, he could just barely see the figure standing on the pavement in front of the house. He put the key back into its hiding place and walked towards the old house. Maybe it wasn't smart to approach a person in front of an old, dilapidated building in the middle of the night, but even a possible night scare was better than just going home and waiting for the monotony of a new day dawning.

As the shape became clearer for a moment Dudley's heart started racing, but then the white strand in the figure's hair became clearer and a little excitement in him just sighed and laid back down.
"Katty?" he asked and the cat turned around startled.
"Wh… What are you doing here?"
Dudley pointed at his mother's house. "My mom lives over there and… well, I was asked to leave. What are you doing here?"

"I am thinking lately… Kerry told me what happened… I mean what dad had done to her. She said she hadn't talked about this for about 10 years." Katty shivered and tried actively to avoid looking at the house. "If I imagine that he had tried to pull this shit on Kitty… I guess I would have been the next one after her."

"The thought is… haunting, isn't it?" Dudley slowly said as the events of the night rushed through his head again. Back then beating up Mr. Katswell had felt right, but quickly became something that scared him. He had altered history in a way. Then again, Kitty had told him what happened a few days before he traveled time so was it maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy? Was there even a way he could not have saved her? The thoughts of determinism hurt his head.

"So much that I have problems sleeping lately." Katty sighed and then completely turned her back to the house. "I don't want to look at this anymore…"
"Who likes looking at the ruins of his childhood anyway?" Dudley mumbled to himself. Katty meanwhile had fished a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and lit one. She grimaced after inhaling.

"I thought you stopped." Dudley commented on her unsatisfied expression.
"I did… 11 months, that's the longest break yet." She inhaled once more before looking at Dudley. "So how's Kitty doing?"
"You tell me…" A bitter laugh escaped his mouth.

"Are you two…?"
"No… But, you know, it feels like having a relationship on paper. I haven't seen her longer than an hour for about a month."
"Damn… is it because, you know, I forced you to tell her about the kiss?" There was guilt in Katty's voice, more than he had ever heard from her.

"I didn't even have time to tell her that… and I don't know if we are strong enough right now to…" As he choked more and more on the words he tried to utter, he decided to just fall silent before ending the sentence. Katty just stared at him, it was genuine shock in his eyes.
"She… means a lot to you, huh?"

"What gave you the idea she wasn't?" he squeezed out the sentence slowly finding his composure again.
"I kind of thought you were just a… there is no way to say that nicely, a laughing idiot. I never understood why you two were together honestly."
"That… hurts on multiple levels…" Dudley gritted his teeth like just received a gut punch.

"Yeah and probably reveals more about me than about you, doesn't it?" Katty took a long drag from her cigarette.
"Kind of, yeah."
The two of them looked at each other silently, like two strangers trying to start a new conversation while waiting for a delayed train.

"Katty, you're still a criminal, right?" he asked breaking the silence.
"I am an entrepreneur." She corrected grinning.
"Yeah, what I said. Any idea where to go tonight? Do you guys have bars or something?"

"Like I would tell the law where we hide." She replied grinning and threw her finished cigarette stub towards her former family home.
"I am not interested in the places you guys drink and behave almost legally." He said and added. "It doesn't have to be one of these bars either… I just want to be somewhere where there's music and laughter. Just not alone tonight."

"I think I know what you mean." A grin crawled upon her lips. "Follow me, I drive."
It was a surprise for Dudley that she meant her driving his car by saying 'I drive', but he wasn't angry about it. The freedom just to look out of the window taking in the night's neon color palette felt liberating in a way.

As his eyes grazed advertising signs, billboards, and posters he was not thinking about Kitty or work or Sam for a change. Just living in the moment, just like back then when things were easier.
After half an hour of him staring through the windshield, the two arrived at a decrepit-looking building that was squeezed between two more modern skyscrapers.

A stairwell on the façade led to a cellar entrance. Neon tubes sloppily assembled to a word that wrote "The Keg" graced the wall above the stairs. Katty took his arm, she pulled him down the stairs inside the dimly lit pub which was less full than Dudley had hoped for. A few tables with faces sitting on them which Dudley mostly knew. A jukebox next to the black-colored bar counter played some nondescript rock music.

Behind the counter, a wall with almost every spirit known was giving the impression of a diverse clientele. As Katty and Dudley walked to the counter, chairs were moved and a deranged-looking rat with his posse placed themselves behind them.
"Look who we got here." The rat said coming closer.

"Ah, Snaptrap…" Dudley replied unimpressed and sat on one of the bar stools. "Prison spat you out again?"
"Not without some effort from my side." The rat cracked his knuckles menacingly, a move that might have looked intimidating on anyone else but Snaptrap. Dudley's body straightened, he was about to set one foot back to get into a more advantageous position in case a fight broke loose, but Katty's hand on his shoulder held him back.

"We are just here to have a drink, Verminious. Not to cause trouble." And emphatically she added. "Family matters."
"Family matters…" Snaptrap nodded to his henchmen and they returned to their table. "Well then, we keep an eye on you, agent Puppy."

"I would be insulted if not," Dudley replied and his face almost formed a smile. It was a while since he had the chance to be in the field and the banter was something he missed. It was a lot more exciting than filing forms.

Katty and he sat down on the bar stools and ordered. Katty ordered a martini, and she insisted during her order on the olive being in there. Dudley meanwhile suppressed the sudden urge to say Earl Grey again and went with the three fingers of whiskey.

"The olive seems to be important to you." Dudley meant as the barkeep got to work.
"I like to snack while drinking." She smiled and shrugged. "And they don't serve peanuts here."
The drinks were served and Katty received a martini with a skewer that was completely covered with the five olives the barkeeper managed to squeeze on it. Dudley meanwhile just received an ice cube in his whiskey.

"Someone seems to like you." The dog chuckled watching the cat eating up the olives.
"He knows me, and he knows what happens if I don't get enough olives." Katty started to eat the olives slower the closer she was to the last one. It almost was seductive in a way how her lips caressed the small little fruits. Dudley had to turn away and look into his whiskey.

"Everything alright?" Katty asked with her mouth full.
Dudley took a big sip from his glass, emptying about two-thirds of it instantly, before saying. "It is… kind of weird looking at you if you know what I mean."
"Oh, you feeling a little uncomfortable around me…" She moved closer and purred into his ear.

Dudley felt like a shiver ran down his spine while his minds spew images of him holding a barely dressed Kitty in his arms.
"Please stop…" he whimpered.
"Why don't you like my tender words caressing your ear." She moved even closer, her lips so close to him he could feel their heat on his skin through the fur. Again, a wave of memories washed over his mind, this time less clothed ones.

"Please…" He repeated and his fingers pressed against the glass of his drink so firm that it threatened to break any moment.
"Okay okay okay." Katty laughed and patted his back. "Kitty got you on her leash, I am impressed."
Dudley emptied his drink and signaled the barkeeper that he wanted another one. But before he could take his glass the dog chewed up the ice cube. "You have no idea…" he still panted but the ice did a good job easing the situation.

"I am curious now, is she doing something special in bed or…" The entrance door opened audibly and Katty glanced quickly over to it. After the first glance followed a shocked second stare and then the words. "I think we should leave…"
"Why, what wrong?"

"Look who we have here," a white dog, looking almost similar to Dudley except for the obvious fake goatee and the eye patch, had walked up to the two of them. His uncovered eye fiercely fixated Dudley, as he continued speaking. "Mr. Puppy, what a pleasant surprise. And the charming Katty Katswell." The dog grabbed Dudley by the collar and pulled him close to him. "Going for a trifecta, don't you Puppy?!"

"Rabies, let him go." Sighed Katty laying down the now olive-clean skewer. "We are just here to talk and drink."
"Oh yeah, it always starts with talking," Rabies said and pulled his doppelgänger closer. Dudley didn't move or resist. He didn't want to break into a fight if not necessary.

"Rabies… I am not in the mood to fight right now." Dudley meant and tried to sound as defeated as he felt lately. Maybe a more sympathetic approach would work. "Can we just set this aside by talking?"

"Talking? Now you want to talk? First, you turn around Catastrophe and now you want to talk?"
"I did not… Listen, as much as I like Kerry, I am not interested." Dudley stated drily. "I am in a relationship."
"So what? I know guys like you, always on the lookout for something on the side." Rabies' empty hand formed a fist which he held underneath Dudley's nose. "I warn you, if you just come close to her one more time, I'll make you regret it."

Again, it was one of these moments where Dudley's brain acted too slow for his mouth to be put on a leash and he said. "Is this all because she called my name during…" Before he could finish Rabies fist hit him right on the nose hurling him off the bar stool onto the sticky floor. Bright-colored dots were everything Dudley saw as Rabies pulled him onto his feet and started punching him in the face again.

Thankful for his thick skull Dudley reacted between the third hit against his head and attempt number four. He grabbed the arm Rabies was holding him with, stepped to the side, and pulled the other dog into the direction the initial punch was flying. The stumbling Rabies flew towards the bar and Dudley just had to give him a push so that he landed head-first on the edge of the counter.

The impact was followed by a sound that made every listener wince. But Dudley wasn't done with that, he was fed up. He hadn't searched for trouble and the only night he was out and not feeling like trash Rabies appeared to make it worse. This would end now, with a clear message written in a language everyone at this pub understood.

Enrage he grabbed Rabies by the fur and slam his head a few more times against the counter's edge. Every time with more violence. And every time with more glee before he finally let go of him and the dog's body sank limp towards the floor.

"Why…wouldn't you just talk?" Dudley growled and knelt down to check on him. His anger was still there but he wouldn't let this escalate any further. A pulse was there but the laceration on his head was bleeding heavily. "We should call an ambulance, quick."

"Already on its way." The barkeeper spoke with a tone of voice that sounded almost bored.
"Jesus, Dudley…" Katty said staring shocked down at the bleeding Rabies.
"He attacked me!" Dudley insisted slowly cooling off. "Why do I always get the blame when others fuck up!"

"I know I am just… since when are you so violent?!" She also knelt down to Rabies but instead of checking his pulse, she propped him up against the counter.
"I am a T.U.F.F. agent, I sometimes use violence, you know that yourself." The dog crossed his arms but Katty shook her head.

"This is a completely different level than the usual beatings you and my sister dish out." She looked away from Rabies and took a deep breath. "I better call Kerry."
"And I better go home," Dudley said, grabbed his drink, and emptied the glass.
"Oh no, you won't drive… Not after that, I don't want to be responsible for you running over someone. I'll bring you home." Katty said irritatedly before her sister picked up the phone.