Let me just say that I would've had this published much sooner, but I'd written the chapter almost to the end in Mareke's perspective, but that wasn't right. 1) It would've been the first time I'd broken the Mareke, Aragorn, Mareke, Aragorn pattern and 2) this isn't her part of the story to tell. It feels so much better coming from Aragorn.

Motivation and discipline have been hard to come by. This story is nearly at it's end and so I'm sad to put it behind me. I read this in it's entirety last week and wow. I've been writing this for right around which 8 years which just seems nuts. For those of you who have been here from the beginning, I can't thank you enough because boy was the writing not very refined when I started. I've learned a lot from you all, that's for sure.

I'm also having a very good time writing another MarekexEomer story, Indifference. Check it out!

Okay, enough of that. Here you go!

Chapter Sixty-Three (Aragorn)

When we left Helm's Deep, there was a distinct distance between Gilraen and I. I had known there would be many challenges on our journey to Rivendell, but the gulf between myself and my daughter, where there had never been one before, was unforeseen.

From Rohan, we traveled to Tharbad. While it was slightly out of the way, it was the last of the Reunited Kingdom's settlements that had been refortified and resettled and it was the first opportunity I had had to visit it in person.

We were shown to our rooms in the fortress upon our arrival, but I shooed out any servants who were there to help us settle for our few days stay.

"What is the matter?" Mareke asked, looking to where I was pacing at the foot of the bed.

"Gilraen will not speak to me," I said. "Do you think Elfwine or Rainion told her of my reaction to her courtship?"

"No. I think she can sense that you are displeased. She has been your shadow her entire life. How could she not be attuned to your moods?"

"I do not have 'moods,'" I insisted.

"Not typically, but you certainly have since Elfwine asked for your permission to court our daughter."

"She is too young for him."

Mareke raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "You must be joking."

It was true that Elfwine was nearly eleven years older than Gilraen, but when Mareke had come to Gondor to marry me it would have seemed that I was nearly twenty-five years her senior. Throughout the years, due to my Numenorean heritage, the gap had dwindled, but back then it had been quite the difference.

"I was little older than Gilraen when we were wed," Mareke continued.

"Be that as it may," I replied.

The age argument was just a front and the fight left me. I sat heavily on the foot of the bed and put my head in my hands.

Mareke sat next to me and rested a hand on my knee. "She could not stay with us forever," she said gently.

"Why not?" I asked, turning to look at her.

By the time Gilraen was born, Shuk and the twins were already practically grown, heading into their teenage years. They did not have much time for their mother and I. So from the moment Gilraen had been placed in my arms, I had been entranced. We had basically been starting completely over. Being parents to a newborn again was a foreign concept. And to be the father of a daughter had never seemed a possibility in my mind after having three boys of my own.

Shuk had always been his mother's pet when he was growing up. It had not hurt or offended me that that was the case. The twins were loyal beyond belief to each other and had favored neither of their parents above the other.

But Gilraen had been nearly obsessed with me. When she cried, she wanted only to be held by me. Even as an infant, she would only allow Mareke to nurse her before she wanted to be back in my arms, being soothed by the deep rumble of my voice against her cheek on my chest. As she had grown, she had become arguably more fierce than her brothers and she spent hours and hours with me in the practice rings.

Her education had rivaled her brothers. She did not spend any time learning to sew or embroider. She rarely spent time with Mareke helping to prepare for large events. At said events, she could always be found with me, chatting with my councilors, always learning at my side diplomacy and strategy.

"Should she not find love?"

"I love her," I said desolately. "Does that count for nothing?"

"Of course it does," Mareke said, running her hands through my ever-graying hair. "Think where she would be without that love. She might have settled for some man far beneath her dignity. Because you have instilled such pride and intelligence in her, she has chosen someone who is worthy of our daughter. Elfwine has grown into a fine man who will cherish Gilraen no less than you have."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek, but did not bother to wipe it away.

"She will be happy and fulfilled with him in Rohan, but I do not think anyone could ever replace you in her heart."

I nodded, but my heartbreak was not entirely soothed by my wife's gentle words.

"You must speak to her at some point, Aragorn. If you are not happy for her, she may change her mind and miss this opportunity. She looks to you in all things for guidance. It is time to let her be a wife. You have raised her to be a queen, but she cannot do that in Gondor. She will not only be a prize to Elfwine, but to Rohan."

"When did you get so wise?"

"Through many years at your side, my love," she replied, kissing my cheek and giving my knee one last squeeze before going to wash the travels away.

ooooOoooo

I found I could not have the necessary conversation with Gilraen in Tharbad. And so I waited until we were in Rivendell.

After three days in Tharbad, we rode a few more days until we entered the forest that surrounded The Last Homely House, where I had spent my youth.

We had followed the River Bruinen and once within the Realm, followed one of its tributaries to the dwelling place of Elladan and Elrohir.

My brothers had sensed our arrival and were there to greet us at the stable.

From the time we had entered their Realm, none of our party had said a word. Legolas and I were lost in our memories and the ones who had never seen it before were lost in their awe and astonishment.

I had trekked across a great deal of Middle Earth in my lifetime and there was truly no place like Rivendell. Around every bend was another waterfall cascading down the cliffs, the trees were tall and straight, their leaves rippling in the breeze, sparkling like emeralds. And when you came upon the dwelling place of the Elves, there were hardly words to describe the beautiful melding of their architecture with the natural world around it. It looked as though it had grown from the ground as well; just another beautiful part of nature.

"Brothers," I said, dismounting my horse. I hugged them both tightly, getting a good look at them before I stepped back.

They greeted Mareke warmly, embracing her, welcoming her to their Realm.

They both paused when Mareke stepped aside to reveal our daughter behind her.

"You must be Gilraen," Elladan finally said.

My daughter nodded and her cheeks colored. She was not used to being under such scrutiny.

"You look a good deal like your mother, but there are traces of your grandmother there as well," Elrohir said.

Gilraen bowed her head.

"Please, allow us to show you to your rooms," Elladan said, when they had both shaken themselves from their reverie.

I followed the group until it was only Mareke and I following the twins.

I had thought being in Rivendell would offer me some sort of peace, but instead the feelings crept back from the time when I had learned of my heritage and my destiny. I had feared I would crumble under the pressure, that I would fail. Anxiety had followed my every step until the War was through.

I felt Mareke's eyes on me, but I did not look at her. I was lost in other memories as well, painful memories.

It was as though I were watching ghosts.

Walking through the wide open spaces was myself, much younger, and on my arm was Arwen, as beautiful as I remembered her in a diaphanous dress, her long, black hair hanging straight to her waist. She was smiling up into my face and I was enraptured.

"We thought you might like larger rooms than when you lived here," Elladan was saying.

I shook my head and returned the smile, though I was not sure what exactly he had said.

Mareke and I both walked past them into our chambers and she stood in awe once more. "I cannot believe they are leaving this place," she said, when the door was closed, though I knew my brothers could still hear us.

"The call of Valinor cannot be denied," I replied simply.

Mareke nodded and walked to a large window, looking over the expanse of streams, waterfalls, and forests.

After a while, we each took our turn freshening up after our long travels and then we went to dinner with my brothers.

The fare was of the light Elvish sort I had not realized I had missed in Minas Tirith. All of the produce was grown near to Rivendell and cooked with the most delicate spices and seasonings.

"I will not be able to return to the food of Men," Gilraen said.

"Especially in Rohan," I said.

Gilraen's cheeks colored and I immediately regretted the remark, even before Mareke stamped on my foot under the table.

My brothers looked at me curiously, but I shook my head.

When the meal was through, Mareke and I were walking back towards our chambers, when I had another thought.
"I am going to go for a walk," I said, grasping her hand. "I have missed this place and I do not wish to wait until tomorrow to see it."

Mareke's dark eyes conveyed a mixed sense of hurt and confusion, but she did not ask if I wanted her company and for that I was grateful.

"I will see you in the morning," I assured her.

Without another word, I was on my way back through The Last Homely House. Everywhere I looked there was a memory and I found myself lost in them.

I did not return to our bed until very late that night and I was up and gone before Mareke and Gilraen woke the next morning. I found that I could not tear myself away from the pain and so I spent the next week wandering the place alone.

Rivendell was the last place I had seen my mother alive, where she and Elrond had told me of my fate and heritage, where she had assured me of her faith in me, despite knowing the long, hard road I would have to travel before it was all said and done.

And of course, there were the memories of Arwen. It took me a few days, but I finally walked to the bridge where she had told me of her intention to forsake her immortality so that we might be together and be married once I had fulfilled my destiny of becoming the King of the Reunited Kingdoms. Elrond had told both of us, separately, that she could give up her immortality for no less of a man than the heir of Isildur, but only if he saw his mission through and became king of the Reunited Kingdoms.

We had stood in that same location after I had pledged to do all in my power to help Frodo destroy the Ring of Power. I did not know if I would survive the journey and battle and so I had urged her to travel to the Undying Lands with her people, though it had nearly killed me to push away the one person I thought could make me happy.

Departing from Rivendell with the Fellowship a few mornings later had been the last time I had laid eyes on Arwen Undomiel.

Despite having shared so many happy memories with her in Rivendell, even in that place I felt the betrayal and despair I had felt upon arriving to and settling into my rule during those first few years in Minas Tirith. There had been days that I had considered simply giving up, not going on.

While there was much pain to remember in Rivendell, there were also the memories of my youth.

Elladan and Elrohir had been my near constant companions during my years growing up in Rivendell and they had imparted to me as much of the wisdom and skills of their people that they could. They taught me various languages, lore, and martial skills. Without them, I would not have been the King I was, nor the warrior or scholar.

I could remember learning to ride a horse, shoot a bow, and wield a blade through their teachings. They had also given me my love of learning and we had spent countless hours in the library of Rivendell poring over manuscripts.

In addition, they had been with me through some of the most harrowing times of my life, going with me on my first quests all the way until they joined me on Pelennor Field.

Years after that, they had forced me to see how my treatment of Mareke was unfair to all involved. Without them, I am not sure what would have become of my marriage. It might never have been fully repaired which would have led to an entirely different road for Mareke and I.

When Arathorn was poisoned, they were there to save him without me having to call. Thinking of that instance brought tears to my eyes as I sat on a stone bench near a babbling brook.

Our bond had been forged through both sweet and dangerous experiences and their support and companionship had been invaluable to me throughout my life.

ooooOoooo

I continued my wanderings for many days, but one afternoon I heard a group near the statue of my mother that served as her memorial in Imladris.

As I got nearer, I could discern that it was Elladan, Elrohir, Mareke, and Gilraen.

The twins knew I was lurking, but they did not bring attention to my presence. Instead they stood with the women as they admired the likeness of my daughter's namesake.

Gilraen, towering over Mareke due to her Numenorean blood, stood close to her mother, but they remained silent for a long while.

"What was she like?" Gilraen asked.

"She was a pillar of strength, resilience, and wisdom," I said.

Mareke and Gilraen jumped and turned in my direction. I gave them a small smile.

Without a word, Elladan and Elrohir drifted away and eventually Mareke left us. I brushed her fingers with mine as she passed. She looked up at me and I offered her a small smile, attempting to make up for my absence.

When they were all gone, I walked up and stood next to my daughter.

"She brought me here when I was only two," I said quietly. "My father had been killed and she sought Elrond's protection. Without that one decision, my entire life would have been different, darker, lonelier."

Gilraen did not look up at me. We had not spoken alone since Rohan and it was long overdue.

"It was her faith that carried me through all I endured in order to claim my destiny and do my part to protect the people of Middle Earth from unfathomable evil."

We stood for a while longer, until I led us away so that we were walking down one of the innumerable paths through Rivendell.

"Despite all of her devotion, there was a time when I doubted the steadfastness of women," I said, looking straight ahead. "There was another before your mother."

Gilraen nodded. "Yes. I have seen her depiction here. She was very beautiful. You must have loved her very much."

"I did," I replied. "I thought we would spend our long years together, but she decided otherwise before I was crowned. After that, I was devastated. I did not believe I would ever trust another of your sex and for a long while I did not. Even after your mother arrived and began to show her dedication to me, I could not believe that it was real, that it would last."

"But it has?"

"It has. Against all odds and all trials, her devotion has always remained." I sighed. "Many say that you take after me and I am flattered by that and I hope that all I have taught you serves you well, but it will be any lessons you learned from your mother along the way that will serve you best when you become the Queen of Rohan."

Gilraen looked up at me then. "Nothing has been decided, Father."

"You need not lie to protect my feelings. I have been selfish. I wanted more time with you. I wanted you at my side for the rest of my life." I took her hand in mine as we walked and could feel our nearly identical callouses. "I was able to dote on you because your brothers were nearly grown when you were born. Their time was taken with tutors and lessons and so I was able to spend hours and hours with you at a time."

I felt my eyes welling again, but continued anyway. "You would only tolerate being in someone else's arms when you were hungry. Outside of that you wanted to be with me and so I carried you with me always, to the throne room and council meetings, the stables, the practice rings, until you learned to stand on your own two feet."

A tear slipped down my cheek as I stopped walking and turned to look at my daughter. While she and I had spent a great deal of time together and she took after me in many ways, she was nearly identical to Mareke despite her Numenorean height and fairer skin. Her cheekbones were high, jaw sharp, and her nose was aquiline. She looked like a warrior.

"And now, once again, I must let you stretch into your independence though it pains me greatly to do so."

A tear rolled down Gilraen's cheeks as well and I brushed it away.

"I do not want to leave you, Father," she whispered.

"A part of you does. In your heart you already know that you love Elfwine and so you must see this through though it will separate the two of us."

My daughter looked away from me and wiped her eyes.

"You were always going to grow up," I said gently. "And you have grown into a fine young woman. But I think in order to meet your potential, you must be away from me."

Gilraen threw her arms around my neck and I hugged her tightly, desperately. As I held her, I thought of the infant I had carried everywhere, the little girl who trailed my steps, the young woman who trained at my side, able to spar with her brothers quite competently.

I held her away from me and looked into her tear stained face. "It is time to see of what you are capable."

ooooOoooo

For the first time since our arrival, after dinner that evening I accompanied Mareke back to our chambers. She did not question me.

As she stepped through the door, I led her to a wooden bench on the balcony. "I spoke to our daughter today," I said quietly.

"And all is well between the two of you?"

I nodded. "As can be hoped for," I said. "We will have to weather the growing pains of our separation, but she is not meant to be in my shadow, nor those of her brothers in Gondor. Of that I am certain."

"She will be a great queen," Mareke said.

"If she took any of your lessons to heed."

My wife smiled softly.

"I am sorry I have been absent throughout most of our stay," I said.

Mareke shook her head. "We are here for you to reconcile with the past in however manner you see fit."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. "I appreciate the space. It has not been at all what I expected."

Mareke raised an eyebrow, but did not say anything.

"I have retraced the steps of my youth over and over again. Both the pain and joy are as sharp as ever."

Mareke remained silent.

"What is on your mind?" I asked. "This has not been easy for you either."

"I have seen her portrait. I never knew what she looked like," she whispered. "She would still look like that today." Seemingly without thinking, her hand went to her face touching the skin that was not as taught as when she had arrived in Gondor. It was true that Mareke had aged, but I had been so close to the process that it was imperceptible to me.

Upon her arrival, she had looked much younger than me, but I knew the gap had closed as our marriage had matured. It had never changed how I felt about her though.

"Mareke," I breathed her name.

She shook her head.

"I have had much time to reflect and imagine what might have been."

Mareke's face fell.

"And I would not have wanted my life to turn out any differently than it has." I took a deep breath. "What Arwen and I had, while it lasted, was safe and tame. There was no fire between us. We never had an argument." I gave my wife a smirk, indicating all of the times we had fought and made up throughout the years. "But neither did we ever have a shared cause. This afternoon, I spoke to Gilraen of my mother's dedication and sacrifice. After Arwen's betrayal, I thought there would never be another woman who I would love and cherish, but then you came along and it was as though, looking back, that my mother had sent you directly to me. You have never let me stand on my own. You have not shied away from the more difficult years of our marriage and rule; you have never faltered in your devotion to me.

"Not to mention the gifts you have bestowed on me in our children. Had Arwen stayed, my life would never have been so full. The Elves struggle to bear children. Perhaps 'struggle' is not the correct word," I mused. "It takes more from them. You will rarely find an Elvish family with more than one or two children because it takes more out of them physically and spiritually. They do not have huge broods because it could lead to their actual demise." I took both of Mareke's hands in mine. "You gave me five. Five beautiful, intelligent, hilarious children who will continue to change this world for the better long after you and I are gone. That is the part of my legacy that I will be most proud of on my last day and it would not have been possible without you."

ooooOoooo

On the last night of our visit, nearly a month after we had arrived, I sat on a different balcony with Elladan and Elrohir. Night had fallen completely and we could glimpse a few starts through the trees.

We had spent hours recounting tales of our adventures and mishaps, laughing and drinking their Elvish wine.

"I will miss you both," I said after a long period of silence. "I cannot express my gratitude for all you have bestowed upon me, all the ways you have saved me over the years."

"It was our pleasure, Aragorn," Elladan said.

"Our honor," Elrohir added.

"There is much yet for you to look forward to," Elladan said. "Your family shall continue to grow and thrive. You can enjoy a long period of peace."

I nodded, hoping they were right.

"Your children will all be reknowned," Elrohir said. I could not be sure if they were predicting the future or only seeking to comfort me as I faced a future without them. "But Gilraen, she shall be the shining jewel in your crown," he continued.

I sat in silence taking in that prediction, knowing it in my heart to be true. My sons were brilliant in their own ways, but Gilraen was different. She had always been different.

"She will be the one to truly bring yours and Marekes' spirits together to forge ahead into this still new age of men."

"And cherish Mareke while you still can," Elladan bid me.

"While I still can?" I asked, panic rising in my throat. "What have you seen?"

"She does not share your Numenorean blood. She is susceptible in ways you are not," Elrohir said.

My council had decided over forty years ago that I was to marry outside of the Numenorean bloodline. They had wanted Mareke's proven fertility more than a Gondoran woman's long life. That being the case, I had always known that I would likely live long after Mareke passed unless some ill befell me, but I could not bear to think of that. She would be sixty-two upon our return to Gondor.

"Surely she has many years left," I said weakly.

"We can never be sure of anything, muindor nin."

I loved writing this. There were such deep conversations that needed to be had and I think that was accomplished here. Please let me know what you think. Reviews have definitely died off over the last couple of years. I only have myself to blame for the lack of consistency in uploading, but if you'd share a review, I'd be forever grateful. Don't forget that you have to enable the Email Opt-in in your account settings every 90 days to make sure you're getting email notifications from your favorite authors and stories.

Happy reading,

Avonmora