AN: Thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm glad you liked the first chapter and can't tell you how grateful I am to read your thoughts.
Warning: When I posted this elsewhere, people seemed to lose interest starting at this chapter. So I'm sorry if the story starts to disappoint from here. I enjoyed writing it (which starts to dive into the team's thoughts during the recovery) and hopefully some of you enjoy the next chapters.
Dr. Rodney McKay was not a runner. Not in the goes on jogs every morning for funsies way and certainly not in the abducted and perpetually hunted by Wraith kind of way, either. But here he was, admittedly trailing behind actual runners, Ronon and Teyla, as they raced from the mess hall to the 'gate room.
Thankfully it wasn't a long distance at all, given that even the small amount of practice with running he normally got on missions had been nonexistent over the last couple of weeks. No team leader meant far less missions, especially when they had mostly been consumed with trying to find said leader. The initial search and rescue at the abduction site and recently dialed planets had come up woefully short. No Colonel Sheppard to be found, despite their best and continued efforts.
Rodney was horrifically reminded of several months ago in which Kolya had taken him, only to have video transmissions of his resulting tortures streamed live for all of the control room to see mere hours after his abduction. Kolya was not one to waste time. But now, after absolutely no trace of him apart from the bloody shirt and dog tags at the abduction site, for almost a full three weeks, Rodney wasn't entirely sure which version was worse. At least before, they had clues to follow and regular updates.
Then again, those updates had, at least at the time, simply been depressing.
Still, it was information. It was something to work with and something that Rodney could use to prepare himself mentally for what life would be like moving for.
This time it felt like everything was on pause. Sure, at first, the hope and determination had been palpable and felt like a fire blazing throughout the entire base. Sheppard always came back. He always ended up being fine in the end. But as the hours turned into days, and the days into weeks, the fire had died down. Even Elizabeth had been forced to cut back on personnel, time and funding for their rescue missions. The last two weeks, in fact, had largely entailed Rodney being glued to his computers as he searched the subspace radars for abnormal signals and tried to find a way to extend the lifesigns detector through subspace in an effort to track Sheppard specifically.
Ronon and Teyla had been searching other worlds, largely under the guise of spending more time with the Athosians, trying to see if anyone had heard anything at her various contact points throughout the galaxy.
They had all failed. No signs. No trace.
And while they had met up in the mess hall for an afternoon coffee/tea break and to reconvene during the monthly diagnostics test that Rodney had insisted Zelenka spearhead this month, Rodney had felt the feeling of despair amongst them. They were running out of options.
So when the sound of Elizabeth's voice had echoed through their ears, Rodney's heart had nearly stopped.
"Paging Dr. McKay, Teyla and Ronon, report to the control room," Dr. Weir had spoken excitedly, anticipation clear in her voice. "We have him. Colonel Sheppard has been found."
Seconds. Okay, maybe two minutes, but the point was that the amount of time it took to get from the mess hall to the control room had to be an absolute record. At least for a non-runner like Rodney.
Questions ran through his mind as they skidded to a stop in the lower level of the control room, in front of the active stargate but behind the circle of Marines with their weapons at the ready. A part of Rodney hated to think Sheppard would be returning to weapons pointed at him, but he also knew that the Military Commander, if conscious, would be pissed if his men didn't follow protocol.
Rodney was vaguely aware of more and more people filling the area and even on the level above, no doubt having heard the radio broadcast that Elizabeth sent out more broadly than taking the time to only hail Sheppard's team.
The prodigal son of Atlantis was apparently returning, and he knew many people would be happy to see the moment Sheppard returned home to them.
For the briefest moment, the fear that this was all some cruel joke created a vacuum of despair within him but he held himself together as Ronon and Teyla stood in anticipation at his side.
Finally, the event horizon rippled slightly and out of it came three figures, two Marines on each side and a very hairy, very damaged looking man being half-drug between them. Suddenly, all relief at Sheppard coming home was temporarily replaced with repulsion at the sight before him.
What had those animals done to his friend?
Hanging somewhat loosely between the rather large Marines, Sheppard's heavily bruised and distressed body seemed overly pale and far more thin than he'd ever seen him. His chest was completely bare through the open shirt, showing off protruding ribs, deep bruising, terrifyingly long cuts indicative or torture and swift, shallow breathing movements from his flat -almost concave - stomach. Black sweatsuit pants hung loosely, almost too low on his bony hips but at least stayed up well enough to maintain Sheppard's dignity. As much dignity as he could have in a moment like this, anyway. Of course, no one would fault him for his current appearance but Rodney knew how private Sheppard was and would absolutely prefer to not be paraded through the control room in such a condition.
His right arm was also splinted and hanging awkwardly around one of the soldier's neck. And the hair. Sheppard's hair was infamously unruly on the best of days, but it was far more overgrown than Rodney had ever seen it while his face, from what could be seen under the oxygen mask, was well past the neat stubble the man normally sported. Not quite the epic beard that resulted from the six months, respectively, spent in the time dilation field, but on its way there.
Rodney and the others started to rush forward to meet them, but the clattering of wheels and a thick Scottish accent overtook them from behind and got to Sheppard first.
Still, they got as close as they could without being in the way and to be honest, seeing the state of his friend up close didn't help any. Seeing the familiar green eyes, albeit slightly glossy and filled with pain, did help somewhat. He had started to question if he'd ever see them again.
"Easy, easy, now," Carson coaxed as the Marines, along with members of his staff, gently helped the Colonel sit on the half-lowered gurney.
"His back is pretty shredded," one of the Marines warned with a wince. "Got caught in an explosion and his back took the brunt. He only had pants on when he came through so there was no protection. We cleaned it the best we could but he's in pain."
Rodney winced at the information, finding it hard to believe that there was yet another set of problems in addition to what he could already see. But the fact that the Marines had enough time to help Sheppard into some clean sweats - wait, did they say USMC? - and clean the man's wounds likely meant that Sheppard had been stuck at the Alpha site during the diagnostics run.
He always did have impeccable timing…
"And he's only had ibuprofen due to possible concussion," the other Marine said quickly. "No morphine."
"Right, good work," Carson replied genuinely before turning to Sheppard whose head was lolling from side to side. "Alright, son. I hear your back is a little sore. We can try laying on your side?"
Sheppard looked up, his dancing and unfocused eyes searching the room before ultimately locking his gaze on Rodney and his two companions. Sheppard's family, pure and simple. Rodney could have sworn he saw the man's eyes show a smile before they lazily found Beckett and nodded.
So Rodney watched with anticipation as they helped lay Sheppard towards the gurney on his left side when suddenly, just as he was horizontal, his body went rigid and he started clawing at the mask on his face. The medical team went into a bit of a frenzy and Rodney felt himself being propelled forward, desperately wanting to help or at least see what the hell went wrong, but knew he would only be in the way.
All witch doctor jokes aside, his multiple PhDs provided no help in a moment like this.
"What's happening?" Ronon roared beside him, misplaced anger being barely held at bay. Rodney understood, even if anger wasn't his go-to emotion.
"I do not know," Teyla responded quietly, fear laced in her otherwise level tone.
"Dammit, I think a rib punctured his lung. Get him on his back," Carson yelled, and Rodney felt his heart sink. The Marines who'd helped John come through the 'gate also winced and looked away for a moment as their still conscious and flailing CO was rotated onto his back. Carson then made quick work of probing the man's chest and listening with a stethoscope.
"He's tachycardic," a nurse announced quickly.
"Needle decompression, now!" Carson called suddenly as Rodney noticed the Colonel's movements becoming slower and slower. The medical staff sprang into action while Beckett took a quick moment to speak to his patient.
"Colonel, your rib has punctured your lung. I'm going to insert a needle and you'll feel better right away," Carson explained, taking the terrifyingly large needle and attached tubing from his staff member. "Once you're breathing, we'll get you to the infirmary. Stay with me. We'll get you through this, lad."
Rodney felt movement beside him and looked to see Elizabeth joining their silent vigil on the edge of the intense scene playing out before them.
"Oh my God," she breathed, her sentiments echoed in his own soul.
"He is alone," Teyla said sadly, as they watched a nurse raise the Colonel's good arm above his head. Before anyone had a chance to say anything else, Teyla was gone and suddenly filled an open spot at the head of John's bed, her small hand reaching out and grabbing onto Sheppard's outstretched one. Rodney would likely never be able to explain the fierce relief that he felt when he saw John's fingers wrap around Teyla's and his eyes clenched shut. He wasn't alone anymore and right now, it was Teyla, but for however long it took to get him back on his feet, John would be surrounded by his people.
They may not have been able to rescue him from his own slice of hell, but they damn sure would be there every step of the way to get him back to health.
"Got it!" Carson announced, replacing the mask on his patient's face.
"Heart rate down to 135 BPM, " a nurse called after a moment, "92% oxygen saturation."
"That's good enough, let's move, now!" Carson barked before turning to Teyla. "Thank ya, lass, but we got it from here."
And then they were moving; Sheppard on the bed being raced to the infirmary in all states of horror, surrounded only by medical personnel. Teyla came to stand beside Rodney and the others as they stared at their newly returned friend as he and his entourage disappeared down the hallway.
The entirety of the control room and the many onlookers who had shown up seemed to be in limbo between elation at the Colonel's return and unadulterated shock at his condition as well as the sudden and awful medical procedure that had played out right in front of all of them.
Damn, Sheppard was going to hate all of this. But at least he was alive (currently, at least and he damn well better stay that way) and would be able to be embarrassed about his grand return in the comfort of his home.
"Good work Brooks, Fletcher," Major Lorne said. When did he show up? "Head back to the Alpha site. Someone will be there soon for a debrief."
The soldiers nodded and then Elizabeth suddenly turned to Rodney, apparently taking the cue from Lorne to deal with the business side of things. "Rodney, I want you to send a few of your scientists through to pull any and all data from the DHD that may help us determine where the Colonel was being held."
Rodney nodded quickly, already deciding on Zelenka and his teams to head up the task. At the moment, Rodney's top priority was going to the infirmary and not leaving until he knew for a fact that his friend - one of the only friends he really ever had - was going to live.
So Rodney made the call and then joined Ronon, Teyla and Elizabeth as they made their way to the infirmary. And after three weeks of searching and constant disappointment, Rodney could honestly say he had never been happier to begin an infirmary vigil like he was in this instant.
—-
Words were inefficient to express the depth of emotion that Teyla was feeling as she joined some of her closest friends while they waited for word on John's condition. She had seen his broken body with her own eyes; seen the evidence of a daily battle he had waged to remain alive for nearly three weeks. Alone, but not helpless. Never helpless.
Because people like John Sheppard were few and far between; fierce and loyal warriors who never gave up and yet were also ready to lay down their lives in an instant, should the need arise.
He was a blazing beacon of light that anyone should hope to guide them but only with the knowledge that the fire would all too easily be extinguished in a flash, leaving those it once warmed feeling colder than imaginable.
But the threat of his loss, as impending as it felt at times, would always be worth it.
And yet, with all of that, he was also so delightfully human. Not a god that was untouchable or impossible to relate to; no, John was funny, sarcastic, petulant at times and could even be entirely unreasonable. He would poke fun at Rodney, choose to battle with the bantos rods even though he knew he had not practiced and would go five rounds with Ronon before finally tapping out. He sometimes rushed into decisions, especially when those he held dear were in danger, and he found pleasure in some of the oddest pastimes and musical selections.
John was their leader and their friend.
And he was home. Seeing him and his deplorable state had been so difficult. But the moment his hand welcomed her own was the moment she knew that, in time, he would be alright. Even if she was the only one fully convinced of such.
"Okay, yeah, he looked bad," Rodney began, his words flowing out quickly and high pitched. "I mean, really bad. But… he was conscious, right? And he apparently managed to save himself from an explosion…"
Ronon huffed, an amused grin on his face, "He probably caused the explosion."
Rodney snapped his fingers quickly and responded, "You are so right. The man always did love pyrotechnics and what better way to escape than blow the place up?"
"Well considering the back full of shrapnel he supposedly has, there may have been better ways but, alas, I'll take what I can get," Elizabeth added with a grin.
Teyla smiled warmly to herself. For the first time in weeks, the ambiance was beginning to feel almost normal. The banter, the antics. It was a beautiful thing that she took for granted too often but refused to ever let that happen again.
"I am certain that, in time, the story of Colonel Sheppard's escape will be quite the tale," Teyla added warmly, rubbing the hand that had held John's, remembering the warmth of life beneath the dried blood, unhealed cuts and grime.
"I bet those Marines heard," Ronon added. "They saw him afterwards for a while, right?"
"Right," came a new voice to their vigil. Teyla turned and saw Major Evan Lorne and smiled in greeting.
"Major," Dr. Weir greeted officially, but happily all the same. "I take it you have had a chance to speak to the men who helped Colonel Sheppard?"
Lorne nodded, his expression unreadable. "I did. The Colonel arrived just as the diagnostics run was beginning so they had the full 40ish minutes to play doctor and even got a little information."
"And?" Rodney prodded.
"And he came flying through the gate as though he'd been thrown or, as it turned out, jettisoned due to the effects of an explosion. There's debris all over the ramp to the Stargate at the Alpha site. I just sent a team to get it cleaned up."
"Did he cause the explosion?" Ronon asked, grinning.
Lorne laughed and looked down for a second, "He did. The men didn't recognize him at first. Just seemed like an injured hairy dude wearing only tattered pants."
"That's understandable," Elizabeth added knowingly. "He doesn't really look like John Sheppard…"
That was somewhat true but when Teyla had seen his eyes, there was nothing truer than John Sheppard had finally returned. His soul was ever present in the green orbs.
"Yeah, well, then he flicked off the Stargate and that was the first indication of who they were dealing with."
Teyla frowned and looked at Ronon, who was the only other member of their group not suddenly laughing.
"I do not understand," Teyla uttered.
Ronon grunted, annoyed to be left out of another inside joke.
"Oh," Rodney said quickly. "It's a gesture where you only hold up the middle finger. It's basically a way to say "screw you" or in his case, "I won, you mother…"
"It's a gesture commonly used to show defiance," Elizabeth interrupted quickly with a glance shot in Rodney's direction. She then smirked and shook her head. "It's generally not one used in civilized social interactions."
"Oh," Ronon grinned. "I remember that one now."
Teyla chuckled. She was unfamiliar with it herself but now understood why everyone else had been so amused by John's initial reaction to his escape. Yet again, another perfect example of the man's untamed spirit.
"Anyway, he wasn't able to communicate very well," Lorne continued, a bit more solemnly at the acknowledgement that even speaking had been difficult for John. "But he apparently played possum - that is, pretended to be close to death - for several days leading up to the escape, which made one of the guards become complacent. He took advantage of that and stumbled across a room of powder kegs."
He finished that with a wide grin, but after seeing the look on Ronon and Teyla's faces, he clarified, "Barrels of explosive powders, usually used for guns and… well, explosives."
Ronon laughed and nodded, understanding and pride plastered over his normally neutral or else hardened features. Teyla was also quite impressed by John's resolve.
"Of course he found an entire room of explosive material," Rodney exclaimed in mock annoyance. Teyla knew that, truly, the scientist was also impressed and thankful for whatever led to John's harrowing escape.
"Well that certainly explains the litany of wounds on the poor lad's back."
"Carson!" Elizabeth exclaimed with nervous anticipation as they all gathered around the doctor.
Dr. Beckett took a deep breath and shook his head in a type of shock, though it was certainly not a look of despair.
"Enough with the dramatics, Carson," Rodney snapped angrily. "Get on with it. Is he going to be okay?"
Teyla, admittedly, was also tired of waiting.
"Aye, he should be okay, assuming none of the infections become too overwhelming"
The relief that coursed through them all simultaneously was electrifying. For so long they had waited, never knowing if they would ever see their beloved friend and leader again. To have it confirmed that not only had he returned, but he would also likely recover was one of the best feelings a person could experience.
"Yes, yes, it's a darn good thing but let me be clear, his wounds are numerous, notoriously painful and largely have to heal on their own. We have set his arm for now as I'd like to wait until we have removed the chest tube for surgical correction. Other than that, the lung has been reinflated but needs time to fully heal. As do the four broken ribs, some of which already show signs of healing. The multitudes of cuts and abrasions, especially the intentionally inflicted ones along his chest, and the mild concussion have been addressed. The concussion also seems to be older and already healing."
Teyla felt her arms wrap around herself instinctually, the specifics of John's condition proving to be difficult to hear. She found herself longing desperately to be near him again, to feel his warmth once more and prove that he was real and he was alive.
"So nothing life threatening and everything will heal?" Rodney added suddenly, trying to summarize the news.
Dr. Beckett shrugged and nodded slightly, "Barring any setbacks with infections, yes. But again, you must understand that while he doesn't have a bullet or knife hole, his entire body has been under attack for what I'm certain began day one of his abduction," the doctor added, his tone becoming stronger with emphasis.
"But he's okay?" Ronon questioned, none of them seemingly able to grasp what Carson was trying to say.
"I'm not trying to doom and gloom all of this and yes, he will recover, but this is going to be more similar to the weeks it took to recover from the retrovirus than his normal two-day recovery then back to fighting Wraith," Carson stated, looking each of them in the eye.
"Just let me continue, so you all can be prepared when you see him."
Teyla shifted where she stood, finding this conversation rather frustrating. Especially since all she wanted to do was be near her friend.
"He was severely dehydrated, so we have an IV dedicated solely to fluids. There is a secondary IV for the broad spectrum antibiotics that are fighting off the infections. The lung is healing, but his oxygen levels still aren't where I want them, so the mask stays for now. He will have the chest tube likely for several more days and we have a catheter inserted to monitor urine output, as there are indications of strain to his kidneys. Likely just an acute response to his living conditions and the onslaught of physical abuse he endured, so I expect them to recover without the need for dialysis."
Teyla sucked in breath, trying to control the urge to gasp at the list that seemed to never end. She almost preferred the previous recounting of physical wounds… that, she was used to.
"I'd also wager he hasn't seen a decent meal - or even a halfway adequate snack - in the entire three weeks," Carson sighed, and for a moment, Teyla wondered if he was fighting back tears himself. She glanced at her companions and saw similar looks of disgust, sadness and, in Ronon's case, fury. "I imagine he did eat some things but they had to have been rare and lacking in nutritional content. As such, we've had to insert an NG tube through the nose to help restore some of the nutrients he is severely lacking. It's only temporary, but it will help while we slowly get him used to food and drink again."
"My God," Rodney breathed, sounding otherwise lost for words. A rarity for the scientist. Teyla understood completely, as her own heart began to ache more and more.
"Well, now that you lot fully understand the bad news," Carson continued, watching them closely, "Let's discuss the good news. During the four hours he's been in my infirmary, he was awake for a portion of it and… despite everything, he's still John Sheppard. He's hopeful and glad to be back. Made some jokes and was even a little cheeky at times, especially while getting a much needed sponge bath, no pun intended."
Teyla smiled and felt a little bit of the warmth of relief inch its way back into her being. Carson was right: as awful as his condition seemed, it was only a temporary condition. And regardless, this was also still Colonel John Sheppard they were talking about.
"Thank you, Carson," Dr. Weir spoke first as his words sank in.
"Of course, lass, I just didn't want you all to be caught off guard by how he looks right now and all the tubes and machines because… I think what he needs most right now is a bit of normality."
Rodney huffed and said, "Are you adding psychology to your list of specialties now?"
Teyla was unsure if Rodney was being sarcastic or attempting humor, but either way, Dr. Beckett rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "No, ya daft bugger. I just mean that the man fought harder than most would have to get back to his life and his friends. Just think we should try to give him that instead of constant looks of pity and shock."
"I don't pity him," Ronon said simply. "He's the strongest person I know and just rescued himself from captivity. I pity us. We couldn't save him."
Teyla looked down at the ground and felt the words wash over her heavily. Ronon saw many things in this life very simply, and this was one of them.
"Yes, well, it wasn't for lack of trying," Elizabeth replied simply, her tone free of any offense as she knew Ronon did not mean it that way. Yes, they had tried to find him. But they had failed. John, however, had tried to survive and ultimately make it back to Atlantis and thankfully, he had not failed.
"You're damn right we tried," Major Lorne half mumbled, perhaps with a small amount of defensiveness in his tone. But one look at the Satendan confirmed that there was no reason for it.
"Yes, we did," Teyla said gently, "And I know Colonel Sheppard has never questioned our efforts, as I am certain he still does not."
"Well, I hope you're right," Rodney stated quickly, wringing his hands together nervously. "Because… you know, I've barely slept in weeks, which, I guess that isn't fair because, you know, he probably hasn't either. Or if he has, it was probably on some dirty, concrete floor and cold…"
"Rodney," Carson said gently, a calming smile on his face, "It'll be okay. He doesn't blame any of us. Already said as much."
"Of course he did," Dr. Weir responded with a sigh. "When can we see him, Carson?"
Teyla looked expectantly at the doctor, desperately wanting to hear the answer to the question.
"Aye, about that," he began, "Normally, I would say give it some time, given that he has been through a lot and is a little loopy from the pain medications when he's awake. But in this case, I think those are the very reasons I would like to have some familiar faces around, provided you all can not interfere with the medical equipment or my staff."
"Of course," Teyla responded immediately, willing to do anything to be there for John.
"Aye, well you can all go say hello, but after about ten minutes, I'd like for there to be only one at a time. At least for now."
They all nodded eagerly, silently agreeing to the terms.
"I'll stop by later," Lorne stated with a courteous nod, "I want to get back to the Alpha site and check on clean up efforts. Tell the Colonel I'm glad he's back and I'll take care of the mess he left."
They all chuckled and then followed Beckett inside the infirmary.
Teyla felt her heart racing just as quickly as when Dr. Weir had summoned them hours ago. They were one step closer to being a complete team again. A whole family, as interesting a mixture as they were.
John was being kept in one of the few adjoining patient rooms located within the main infirmary suite. Teyla was thankful for his privacy, but also found herself concerned that the small room would remind him of his time in captivity.
The lighting in the room was dimmed and the soft whirring and beeping from the numerous machines strangely provided a soothing symphony that sang a song of life and stability. John was home. He was safe. What a blessing, indeed.
The bed took up a lot of the space but still allowed for all of them to gather around and take in the features of their sleeping friend. Teyla certainly found his current appearance to be better than before, with the worst of the dirt and dried blood cleaned away. Still, her heart ached at the state of his body. She knew he was strong and knew he would heal, but it was more than the wounds and afflictions themselves; it was the 23 days he was alone, separated from the people who love him and instead tortured relentlessly. Mercilessly.
She found herself feeling a similar fury to what she saw in Ronon moments ago.
But now was not the time.
Their group formed a semi-circle around the bed, no one getting close enough to aggravate any of the tubes or machines. And yet, Teyla couldn't bear the thought of him simply lying there, all alone.
"You can get closer," Dr. Beckett quietly informed them, glancing around the room. "Let him know you're here, just don't try to keep him awake when he's tired."
Ronon shrugged and pulled a chair up to rest at the foot of the bed and plopped down into it. Rodney and Dr. Weir still looked uncertain, however. Teyla understood the dynamics; Ronon was straightforward and, much like Colonel Sheppard, he rarely let emotions or fears get the upper hand. He likely saw this as what it is: his friend enduring a temporary state of being.
The other two, however, were intellectual people first and foremost. They did better with numbers, statistics, strategies, risk assessments and detailed step-by-step plans. It was hard for them to process the normally stoic, ever-present John so out of sorts and physically weakened.
Teyla smiled sadly, knowing they would come around soon enough. She also took one of the chairs and positioned it closer to John's head in a space that was relatively free of tubes and cords. A spot that allowed her access to his left hand, of which she gently reached out and enveloped.
"I'll be right back," Carson said in a hushed tone, smiling at the sight of Ronon and Teyla in their spots.
Teyla, still trying to mentally adjust to the overwhelming emotions of having John home, focused herself on his hand. The wrist was heavily bandaged from the wounds left by restraints, a grim reminder of the horrors he had faced. Much of the skin along his hand was discolored with a few cuts and recently healed scars, so she kept her grip light so as not to be the cause of anymore pain.
He had endured enough of that for a lifetime, though Teyla was certain he would throw himself right back into dangerous situations in the future. At least he would be given the choice to do so, she thought.
Teyla felt tears burning her eyes once more, surprising her with the swiftness at which they appeared. She looked up briefly and used her free hand to discreetly wipe away the few tears that managed to escape her eyes, when a flash of green caught her attention.
His eyelids provided only small slits, but John was unmistakably awake and looking at her. The breath caught in her lungs as a smile overtook her. For a moment, she completely forgot that the small room had other occupants.
John blinked slowly, but when they reopened, his gaze was stronger and more alert than before.
"John," Teyla breathed, her grin wide.
His expression was mostly hard to read with the large mask covering most of his face, but she was able to hear the slightest mumbles from underneath. Teyla rose to her feet and leaned over slightly.
"He's… he's awake?" Rodney stammered from behind her. Teyla glanced back and nodded happily before turning back to John. He was trying to saying something again so she gently reached for the mask.
"I will pull this away for only a moment," she told him softly, to which he responded with a small nod.
Once free, he whispered, "Don' cry. M'fine."
Teyla nearly laughed out loud, her heart swelling and tears forming instantly again. She shook her head and wiped them away quickly before gingerly replacing the mask over his bearded face.
"I am sorry," she replied kindly. "But they are tears of joy."
He watched her for another moment before his eyes began to slowly scan the room. She stepped aside so he could better see his friends. His family.
"Good to have ya back, Sheppard," Ronon said with a smirk as John's eyes found him first. The response was small and likely unnoticed by anyone else due to them being further away, but his eyes showed a smile and small nod. His gaze then turned to the foot of his bed where Dr. Weir and Rodney still nervously stood. As his eyes fell on them, Elizabeth shifted nervously and then flashed a smile that was stiff and unfamiliar to Teyla. Dr. McKay, on the other hand, nervously patted the railing at the end of the bed, occasionally glancing up at John before quickly looking away. To Teyla, he almost seemed fearful of the Colonel, though she knew that wasn't quite right.
To their right, Teyla saw Ronon smirk again at their obvious discomfort. Mindful of what Carson had said about John needing a sense of normality, she glanced at the Colonel to see if he was also able to pick up their demeanor.
The answer was immediately when she noticed a deep frown on his face. He tried to lift his hand towards his face, but seemed too weak to complete the task. Teyla quickly aided him, not wanting to deny him words that needed to be said, but also mindful of his condition.
"I'm fine," he breathed with more strength than previously displayed as he rolled his eyes slightly. "Jus' damn drugs… make me loopy."
Teyla smiled and replaced the mask when his eyes closed and remained closed for a moment. She looked at Elizabeth and Rodney and saw that they seemed marginally more normal. When John opened his eyes again and looked their way, Dr. Weir even walked a little closer to the bed, her arms folded lightly across her chest as she displayed a more natural smile.
"I'm pretty sure those damn drugs are saving you from a world of hurt right now," she responded lightly.
He shrugged with his good shoulder and Teyla took her cue to pull the mask aside again.
"'M used… to pain," he replied simply. "Not used to… this."
"Well that's just the point, isn't it, Colonel?" Rondey added quickly, a sharpness that would seem rude to anyone who didn't know the scientist well. "We left you to rot in what was clearly your own slice of hell to deal with pain and torture and God knows what else. At least let us take the pain away now that you've had to rescue yourself."
Teyla shot a look at him, wishing he had not let so much of his own thoughts and insecurities flow so freely. Especially so soon. She then carefully turned to John, uncertain of how he would take it.
Slowly, she watched as his left hand slid along the bed railing until he found the controls. In the next moment, the bed was slowly rising, his eyes locked on Rodney the whole time. He then reached up with a shaky hand and pulled the mask away on his own, a clear display of inner strength. This was something he needed to do, and Teyla would do her best to not interfere.
"Not your fault," he said firmly to Rodney before glancing at the others. "Any of you. I… I gotta heal up some… but I'll… be okay. K?"
"Alright, I think that's quite enough excitement for now," Carson announced as he re-entered the room. "And put that mask back on before I tape it down."
"But 's itchy," John whined, making everyone grin.
"I don't bloody well care how itchy it is, it's a far cry better than not breathing, now isn't it?"
"It's only itchy because of the wooly animal you have growing out of your face," Rodney quipped, earning a chuckle from everyone, even Colonel Sheppard.
"Hate it," he mumbled, his eyes drooping. Seeing that his strength was failing and exhaustion was taking over, Teyla gently replaced the mask, careful not to mess with the tube coming out of his nose.
"I can shave it, if you would like?" she offered, remembering the many times she helped her father or other older Athosian men perform the task throughout her lifetime. Teyla knew John never let his facial hair get too long so in addition to it causing more discomfort with the oxygen mask, having it shaved may help him feel more normal.
His tired eyes found hers and he nodded, gratitude clear in his expression.
"And I can see if Lt. Andrews will come touch up that hair," Ronon grumbled as he observed the long mess of hair on John's head with a playful smirk. Teyla knew that Lt. Andrews was known for helping many with haircuts, though she was unaware that Colonel Sheppard had ever used the Lieutenant for his own hair. But John nodded as his eyes drooped even more.
"Alright, alright," Carson said again, pushing his way to the bed. "One of you can stay as long as you let the man sleep."
Teyla looked around and knew rather quickly that she would take the first watch. And for that, she was grateful. This was the most peace she had felt in quite a while.
"See you soon, Sheppard," Ronon said as cheerfully as Ronon ever could as he stood from his chair.
"Yeah, see ya," Rodney offered meekly, still not back to normal but he was getting there.
John waved slightly to them, only his hand leaving the bed. But before Elizabeth turned to leave, she seemed to remember something important.
"Oh!" she exclaimed as she came closer, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a silver chain. John's confused eyes watched but realization quickly replaced the confusion. "I thought I'd keep these safe until you came home."
"Thanks," he mumbled under the mask as Elizabeth laid the dog tags on the bed near John's hand. Teyla looked at them and felt a new wave of emotion overtake her. That necklace was so very important to all members of the military for the people of Earth and to have them taken was likely difficult for John. And when they had been discovered by Major Lorne's team weeks ago, it had been a significant blow to their morale. Now, they were reunited with their rightful owner, and that was a beautiful thing.
"I will help you put it on when you wake up, John," Teyla said softly. "Rest now."
Moments later, John was sound asleep and she found herself alone at his side, finding much comfort in the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest.
Finally, she was at peace. John was home and he was whole.
TBC
EN: Yeah... hopefully some of you guys enjoyed. Please review if so but thanks either way.