After finishing the final exams, Rin walked silently out of the school. With a weight less on his shoulders, she headed home. On the way, she remembered a small talk she had with Nadeshiko, who had noticed her friend's concern.
- "Hey, Rin-chan! I've noticed that you've been a little... hmm, how should I put it? Worried? Is everything okay at home?
- You see, I've had some problems with Ena. Last week she confessed to me, but I rejected her for the sake of both of us. I recently tried to talk to her, but Ena just pushes me away from her very aggressively.
- That sounds complicated! Have you tried talking to Ena-chan about how you feel? Maybe you just need some time alone, or maybe she needs to understand how you feel.
- Yes, I have tried, but she behaves very cold. She ignores my attempts and even reproaches me for any efforts. It seems like the more I try to fix the problem, the worse I make it.
- Now that you mention it, she hasn't wanted to talk to anyone from the club either. Aoi-chan and Chiaki-chan have been busy attracting future members, so she hasn't spoken to them much. I tried to talk to her, but she remains distant from everyone.
- Yeah? Oh… so it's not just me… Although she's only been aggressive towards me, it seems.
- Don't lose hope, Rin-chan. Maybe she needs a little more time to heal her wounds!
- I hope you are right, Nadeshiko-chan. I just want things to go back to the way they were before.
Nadeshiko gave Rin a friendly hug and a gentle tap on the back.
- I'm sure you'll find a way to fix things!"
When she got home, Rin felt strange. She had always taken things calmly, even when her friendships or family relationships faltered. She didn't understand why things were different this time. Perhaps the remorse of having rejected Ena and making her feel that way was her emotional burden. Driven by her desire to fix things, she sent Ena a message.
R: "Ena, do you want to talk about our problem? Can we talk?"
E: "Leave me alone, Rin. I don't need your messages, I think I made it pretty clear to you."
Feeling hurt by her response, she decided to respect Ena's decision and not insist further, despite still being affected by the weight of her decision. Suddenly, she received a message.
E: "Rin, do you hate me?"
Rin was confused.
R: "Of course I don't hate you."
E: "Then why did you reject me? Did I bother you so much that you'd rather I didn't exist?"
R: "It is not like that. I don't hate you in the least. It was complicated, but I decided to be honest. I'm sorry for hurting you, but it has nothing to do with you as a person."
E: "Don't give me your excuses, Rin. If you don't like me, tell me. I don't need your pity or your lies."
R: "It's not about that. It's just that... our lives are going in different directions."
E: "Different directions? Is that what you think? Then I should be used to being abandoned, right?"
R: "Ena, calm down. Each of us has our own lives that take other directions."
E: "Oh, sure! Different directions, as if that explained why you rejected me. Surely it is much easier to continue with your perfect life while I suffer from being alone"
R: "I'm trying to be honest with you and myself."
E: "Honesty? If your perfect life is so clear, stop wasting your time with me."
R: "Look, I'm sorry you feel that way. I never wanted to hurt you. If you need time or space, I will respect it."
E: "I don't need anything from you, Rin. Just leave me alone and go on with your perfect life. "I don't need someone in my life who only hurts me."
R: "I'm sorry. If you ever change your mind, I'll be here."
The conversation was suspended in a tense atmosphere.
E: "You don't understand, do you? It's not just a matter of time or space. Can you imagine how it feels to have the person you love the most not share your feelings? Do you think it's easy for me to continue as if nothing happened?"
R: "I never wanted you to feel that way, really. I don't know what else to tell you to help you get through this."
E: "Help me? You're wrong. There is nothing you can do. It just hurts too much, and you… you were the last person I thought would make me feel this way."
R: "I know this hurts you, and I am deeply sorry for putting you through this. I can't change what you feel, but I am willing to listen to you and try to understand."
E: "You don't understand, Rin. You can't understand what it's like to have your heart broken like this. You don't understand how it hurts to love someone who will never love you back."
R: "Maybe I can't understand it, but I don't want you to feel alone in this."
E: "Stop it, Rin. The more we talk, the more it hurts. Just leave me alone"
R: "It's okay, Ena. I'll be here when you need me. Take care of yourself"
Rin turned off her phone and a wave of guilt completely enveloped her. The feeling that it was her own fault that Ena suffered so much from her weighed heavily on her. Confused, she wondered why she was so concerned about this particular friendship, nor why as much as she wanted to give Ena that alone time that she needs, she couldn't do it.
Two days later, Rin received a new message from Ena, which gave her instant relief knowing that there was an opportunity to remedy the damage caused.
E: "Can we talk?"
R: "Yes, of course. What do you want?"
E: "In private."
R: "Okay. Where and when?"