p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"My oasis just keeps getting better every day. Steve and I find a good balance between the friendship we've always had and this new aspect we keep uncovering. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"Some nights I get anxious. Something deep inside me keeps repeating emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'the higher you rise the harder you'll fall' /span/em, like a broken record over and over again. It feels like a clock is ticking on the back of my head, because nothing can be this good for this long for someone like me. It wouldn't be fair. But when those thoughts creep into my mind, I roll over in the bed and put my head on Steve's chest. Listening to his heart works every single time. Like a charm. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"At what feels like lightning speed, weeks become months, and I start to feel like I'm finally home. Although I suspect it has little to do with the place, and lots to do with him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"Going to the gym has become familiar too. Nat shows up this afternoon, as she's been doing lately. She just stops by every once in a while to catch up or hang out with us for short periods of time. I kinda like her, turns out we have a lot in common. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""If you keep that up you're gonna need a safe word, boys," she says as she enters the gym, and we both look up. We're in the ring, practicing some moves, and I have Steve on a lock, using enough force to immobilize him, but not nearly enough to choke him. I can't see his face, but I'm pretty sure we're both frowning right now. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""What?" he asks as I let him go, and she flashes him a smile. As I always do, I check his neck to see if I hurt him, but there's not a mark on him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Never mind. What are you guys up to?" she leans on the ring looking up at us. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Just practicing. You want in, Romanoff?" he answers as we go back to our initial positions./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""And give away all my moves? emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"No, thank you,/span/em" she purposely slurs on the last frase, making it seem like it was a ridiculous proposition. Steve rolls his eyes, and then looks back at me. I nod and we both start moving slowly in a circle to our left sides, looking for an opportunity to attack. It took weeks for me to feel confident enough to agree to do this, but we move much slower than usual -like regular people-, and don't really use our real strength, so it's not as dangerous as it could be. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"We know each other's basic tactics and go-to moves pretty well by now, so at times it almost feels like a practiced choreography, but that just makes it more of a challenge. We are kinda forced to improve, just for the sake of keeping it interesting./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He starts with four punches, which I block to throw a knee and a kick to his side. The knee gets him, but he jumps the kick and uses the opportunity to knee my stomach. I back out to avoid the worst of it and try to get him with five hits in a row: left, right, right, kick, left hook. The hook gets him, and I worry because it might have been too much, but he seems alright. Didn't even get him off his feet, but he looks a bit disoriented. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You OK?" He nods./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Yeah, don't worry". He comes at me, emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"collides /span/emagainst me and we hit the ropes. He's got his arms around my body, right above my stomach, so I get a couple of soft elbow blows to his back before he can push us both to the ground. He straddles me, pinning my left arm with his knee. I could get it out if I wanted to, but it wouldn't be fair. He's not using all his strength to immobilize it, so I can't use all of mine to get it free. Instead, I use my right arm to push him to his side and roll us over. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He looks surprised when I get him on the ground, pinning him down with both his arms over his head, and I kinda want to stay between his legs. Our eyes meet for just a fraction of a second, and I know he's thinking about it too. But Nat is here, so we have to behave. I swallow hard and get away from him, because if we're talking about fighting, you emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"never /span/emshould end up between Captain America's legs. He knows how to use them as an advantage too damn well. He would've had me in a wrench in a second if he hadn't been otherwise distracted. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"We stand up quickly and get right back to it. I try three blows, and he blocks them pretty easily. He's a really good fighter, even without his shield. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I block five jabs and a knee, but fall backwards when I barely dodge a new kick of his, one where he went four fucking feet off the floor and made two turns in the air. "Nice!" I say, right after pulling myself up. It was an awesome kick. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Thanks, I try," he replies, and I go in for the offensive. The round's kinda leveled until he manages to get me off my feet again and grabs me in a lock. He has one of his legs around me and his face on my hair. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"We have a rule: if you can't escape from a lock without seriously hurting the other person, then you're done. So I weigh my options. I could break his wrist, elbow his side or head bump his nose... Which means I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"could /span/emget out, but it would definitely hurt him and that's out of the question, even without the rule. So I tap my fingers on his arm and he lets go immediately. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Nice going," I smile as he looks at my neck. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You guys should sell tickets," Nat says when we get off the ring. We call it a day after that, and go for pizza with her. She's turning out to be quite fun to be around. Maybe she's just doing it to keep an eye on me, to make sure I don't go rogue or anything, but to be perfectly honest, I'm OK with that. It feels like a safety net. If I ever emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"do /span/emlose control, I know that it won't be long until someone finds out. And if Steve can't or won't stop me, I know she will. She came pretty close the last time we fought. She might not have the serum, but she has aiming that would make anyone jealous. Although I haven't met Clint yet. Steve says he's even better. Hard to believe. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"The pizza place is nice, not too crowded. The few looks that we get while eating are directed at them, and not me. That's always a good thing. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"But good things can't last forever, I know that better than anyone. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"One morning I'm getting out of the shower and I hear voices coming from the living room. I don't know if I should get out of the bathroom or hide until they're gone, so I get out quietly and stay in the hallway, trying to figure out if they're a threat or not. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Buck, everything's fine, you can come out," Steve says, and I breathe again. How the hell did he even know that I was here? Did he hear me? I literally wasn't making a sound, not even breathing. I take a step out to find Steve sitting on the couch with Sam, the winged guy. I swallow hard and shove my hands in my pockets. I'm really glad I'm wearing a hoodie. The long sleeves are always a plus when you're trying emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"not /span/emto remind people that you're HYDRA's nice little version of Frankenstein's monster. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Hey," I say quietly, going for the most unthreatening thing I can think of. To be fair, he did take me by surprise. But he doesn't look scared or even uncomfortable. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I think you haven't been properly introduced. Sam, this is Bucky. Bucky, Sam." He stands up and offers me his hand. It takes a second for me to understand I'm supposed to shake it. It's been a while since I've actually been introduced to someone. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Hey, man. Nice to see you not trying to kill us," he says, and I throw a look of disbelief at Steve. Was that a joke? I have no idea./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Thanks…?", I say, and it kinda sounds like a question. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"Great, I can add 'socially awkward' to my list of charming traits. /span/em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Sam was just giving me an update on the situation," I internally thank Steve for moving the conversation forward./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Great. Don't let me interrupt, I'll get out of your way, maybe go out for a second," my voice fades when they both frown./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""This concerns you too, Buck." I sit down slowly, trying my best to keep my head cool and not let my nerves get the best of me. "Apparently, the government knows you're here," Steve half whispers with a worried look, straight to the point, and everything crumbles to pieces. I feel the knot forming in my throat. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"This is it. /span/emThe moment that I always knew was coming. The ticking clock has run out of seconds, it's sound changing drastically to a high pitch alarm. I sigh, trying to let it go. I knew this would end sooner or later, I was sure of it, and yet it still feels so sudden, so out of place. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""OK." I whisper when I realize I've been quiet for too long. I hate that we're not alone for this conversation, because I feel like I'm about to cry, I feel like breaking down, and I don't trust this guy… but maybe it's better this way, maybe him being here will help me get my act under control. Steve doesn't need to deal with my shit any more than he already does. I clear my throat in an effort to buy some time. It's over. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"Just let it go. You knew it would end. /span/em /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""How did you find out?" I ask, looking at Sam./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I still have some contacts in the army. It's just a rumor, but it's getting louder by the day. Your name was encrypted on the files we made public, but the Winter Soldier has his own file cabinet worth of information." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Sounds about right," I say, throwing a nervous look at Steve. I expect him to be taken aback, but he doesn't even seem surprised./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They've been pulling information, trying to figure out your connection with HYDRA, your location, your real name…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Well, it's not that hard to figure out. They have enough footage of me to make a movie or two," I leave out with a fed up tone./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Wait a minute, maybe emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"it is /span/emhard." Steve's voice makes me look at him again. "You've been dead to the world for decades, man." I shake my head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'died' /span/emin the exact same place HYDRA trained the Winter Soldier. It won't take long for them to find that out and make the connection."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Did you disappear and resurfaced in the same year?" Steve asks, and I frown while I shake my head, but I don't look at him as I talk./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""No. They didn't have the same machines back then. They had to do it the old fashion way. It took some time for them to… break me. About five or six years, maybe. Although I couldn't be sure." I avoid his gaze, because I haven't been able to talk about this to him. "And even after that, it took several years to train me, and some more for them to trust me enough to deploy me to an actual mission." I make a pause. "But that doesn't matter, the file must say where and when they captured me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"Sam shakes his head. "I checked. They only registered the procedures they used, and the missions they sent you on." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Maybe they were trying to make sure they could replicate it." Steve's voice has turned analytical and controlled, like back when we were in the howling commandos. He's a soldier right now, I think he's trying to distance himself from all of this. That's good, he won't like what I'll have to do. I look down at the floor, because we've never discussed this either./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Well, they did. In the 90's, I was ordered to steal something. It was a briefcase with more or less the same kind of serum they used on you and me." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They used it?" Sam asks, and I nod./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They made five more Winter Soldiers." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""That should be in the files too, right?" Steve's talking to Sam now. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""It should be, yeah," he answers, and then looks at me. "Where are they now?" I shrug./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I was assigned the last mission alone, so they're probably still back in Syberia." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Then maybe the government's got bigger problems to worry about," Sam offers, but I know that's not gonna keep them away from me. I'm still too much of a threat to be left alone. I sigh and fall back in the chair. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""None of this really matters, they'll come for me as soon as they figure it out." Steve looks sad, so I try to give him a reassuring smile. I soon realize that I'm OK with all of this as long as he stays safe. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Even if they do, we could tell them what really happened. They've read the files, they can't blame you if you were tortured and brainwashed." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Come on, Steve, of course they can. They will, and you know it. They emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"need /span/emsomeone to blame, and who better than the man who emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"actually /span/emdid it?" I swallow hard, because I'm letting this whole thing get on my nerves, and then sigh again. I need to calm down, keep my head clear and my feet on the ground. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'Think like a soldier' /span/emI tell myself. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'Be practical, be logical' /span/em./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I'm familiarized with this country's surveillance routines. They're weaker during the nights. The best moment to leave is as soon as the sun goes down." I say, and it gets slightly easier when I'm talking about this as if it was a mission. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You think we should?" Steve asks, and I frown. I didn't say 'we'. I'm about to reply, but Sam speaks first./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""But they don't seem to be doing anything. After Shield was dismantled, they're not really sure about who was a part of HYDRA. Some of the files have been proven to be false, so they're going through it piece by piece."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They'll get to it eventually." My voice sounds grim, my tone is controlled and calculated. "And when they do, they'll come get me," it's nothing but the truth, but Steve makes a face. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," he says, and I wish I could do that, but I shake my head immediately, before he can talk me out of it… because I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"hate /span/emthis decision with everything I have, and I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"really /span/emwant to be talked out of it. I want that so bad. I'd take almost anything rather than leaving him, as long as I knew that he was happy./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""That bridge's been burned for a long time, man. You emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"know /span/emhow much blood is on my hands. They have enough evidence against me to get me on death row twenty times. And if they decide to come after me while I'm still here with you, they'll get you too. Aiding and abetting a murderous terrorist," I gesture towards him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You're not a terrorist, you weren't in control." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I wouldn't be able to prove it, and even if I was, they wouldn't believe me." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Then we'll leave. It's not a big deal." That sounds like heaven, but I know that it can't happen. I'm about to say as much, but Sam stands and we both look at him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I'll head out, just wanted to give you guys a heads-up, and all our phones are being monitored so…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Thanks, Sam. It means a lot to us. We really appreciate it,"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""No problem, man." He nods in my direction and goes for the door. As he's about to go out, he turns to add something. "Want to know what I think?" He says, and we both nod. "If they were going to do something, I think they would have already done it. Maybe they're just, you know, checking if you're under control. Maybe keeping your head down is the smart thing to do right now." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He leaves, and the room goes dead silent. I close my eyes and pretend for just a second that this is all a nightmare. I slowly pull myself up. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"I don't want to go. /span/em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You asked me to tell you if I was leaving," I whisper, so that my voice won't break. "I'm leaving as soon as the sun goes down… and you can't come."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Come on, man. You know me better than that," I can tell by his tone that he's trying so hard to sound as if he was OK, but I know he's about to break just as much as I am. He gets closer and puts his hands on the sides of my crossed arms. I avoid looking at him, but he searches for my eyes until I do. "Don't do that, babe. Please don't shut me out." He sounds broken. I give in a little, touching his face too, because he also emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"looks /span/embroken, and I simply can't take it. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I don't want to turn you into a criminal, Stevie," I whisper. "You deserve emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"so much /span/emmore than that." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Buck, I don't give a fuck about the law. You know that. I just want to do the right thing. Even if I didn't love you, you're still innocent, and I'm not about to let them take you, or force you to escape as if you weren't. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"You're /span/emthe one who doesn't deserve that." I shake my head. He's got it all wrong. I'm about to tell him that, but he cuts me off. "Let me do some digging, I still have a few acquaintances here and there. I can ask around. See if they'd be willing to make a deal." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""What do you mean by a deal?" He shrugs./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I don't know, maybe some sort of parole? The avengers are OK with you being here as long as you're with me, so maybe they could be too." I make a face. The only reason the Avengers agreed was because of him, out of respect or love. The government doesn't have those bonds, their view in the matter won't be as biased. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Let's just think about it for a few days, alright? Calm down, analyze our options," as he speaks he puts both his hands in my face again and I close my eyes. The conflicted feelings grow inside me until I think I might break in half. I'm a fucking soldier, I should just accept my faith and face the battle that's been laid on me… but I want to stay so badly. Every inch of me craves to stay a moment longer. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I never should've come here," I whisper, and his eyes reflect the pain that I'm feeling. "Why couldn't I just leave you alone?" I ask and he raises his eyebrows./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You think I would've been better off? Buck, if you hadn't come here, I would've never stopped looking for you." He kisses me gently and then looks at me in the eyes again, staying just a couple inches away. "Everything's gonna be alright. OK?" His tone is as sweet as his lie, and I let the sound of his voice wash over me. It's impossible to fight it. "Let's give it a couple weeks, I'll see what I find out, and if anything changes, we'll leave. Both of us," he says. He really looks like he means it. Like he'll give up all of this to come with me. He really shouldn't think like that./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""A couple weeks," I repeat, because I don't want to promise him that we'll go away together. He has a life. He had one before I arrived, and he could get it back. He could. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He hugs me, and I hang on to him, face buried in his hair and hands clinging to his clothes. I'm trying so hard to pretend I'll never have to let him go. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I'm not hungry, and I don't think he is either, but we go through the motions anyway. We cook lunch and sit at the table looking at our plates like neither of us is sure what they're for. I sigh when I realize that I won't be able to pass a single bite. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I wish we could get a drink," I say. "That it would make a difference," I add when he looks at me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""That'd be nice," he answers quietly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Have you ever really tried?" I ask, because he has explained to me that alcohol won't work on us, but I don't know if he has put it to the test. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Once," he says and gets up to clear our nearly untouched plates./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""When?" I press, because it sounds like he's holding back. He's facing away from me, pretending to wash the dishes. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""When you died," he replies after a moment. I can tell he's trying to sound OK, but I notice the way his shoulders are set, and I know he's not. "When the rest of us went back to the base… it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore." His voice shivers and I get up and wrap my arms around him from behind, placing both my hands on his chest and resting my head on his shoulder. His hands fly up to my arms to complete an improvised hug. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I went back to that bar we used to go to. The one that they blew up, remember?" I nod. "I guess I needed to feel close to you. I needed to be some place where we had been ourselves, and not part of the howling commandos." I hear the knot in his throat now, but I don't say anything about it. I just hug him harder. "Because I hated that you were in the howling commandos. If I hadn't dragged you into all of that, you would've still been alive." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"am./span/em" I say quietly, pressing my chest to his back so that he can feel my heart./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""If it weren't for me, they never would have gotten to you," he adds, and now I know what's really going through his head, why he's still so affected by this, even though he knows I didn't really die that day. It's guilt. "They tortured you for emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"so long /span/em, you said it yourself, it took emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"years /span/emfor them to break you, they used you to do those things, and if I hadn't-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Steve, stop," I cut him off because neither of us should be thinking about those years. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I turn him, so he's facing me, but his eyes don't meet mine. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Hey…" I whisper. "How could you think that? I would have died in Azzano if it weren't for you. And I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"never /span/emblamed you for the train."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""It was my fault you were there that day. I got careless, I went too far too quickly and they got us separated because of that. And I couldn't keep you from falling. I tried, Buck. I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"swear /span/emI tried." He says the last frase like he's trying to convince me. Like I wouldn't know or like I wouldn't believe him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I put my hands on the sides of his face and rest my forehead against his, gently shushing him. He's not supposed to think stuff like that. He's supposed to be the smart one. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Listen to me carefully, OK?" I whisper, and he nods after a second. "I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"know /span/emyou tried. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"Of course /span/emI know. I've never doubted that." He closes his eyes and I gain a little courage, because it's easier for me to speak freely if I don't feel watched. "We were always a team. You were always my partner… even if it didn't mean exactly the same back then," I add the last part pulling away a little, conjuring a chuckle out of God knows where. He opens his eyes again and it takes me a second to keep going. "I would've been downright emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"offended /span/emif you hadn't included me in the howling commandos, man."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He gives me a small smirk, and I plant a kiss in it before continuing. I wish I could turn off the lights and pretend like I'm invisible, but I make an effort to keep my shit together. "I think I never told you, but I was so proud of being a part of that. To still be able to help, even after all the changes you had gone through. Even after you became Captain America. Because you still trusted me to have your back, even if I wasn't like you, even if you didn't really need me anymore. I wanted to be there for you. I wouldn't have let you go alone."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I swallow hard, because my chest feels tight with the confessions, and my hands are shaking with the effort it takes for me to speak my feelings like this. But he's hurting and I can't let that pass. I can't ignore it, I've never been able to ignore it. He closes his eyes for a moment again, and rests his head on my shoulder. It feels like it's made to fit there. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""It never mattered if I needed you or not. I've always emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"wanted /span/emyou with me. I still do. Maybe more than ever." The lump in my throat gets thicker and I stroke his back./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I'm here now," I say quietly, because I can't promise him anything more. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He holds me tighter, probably hearing the silent words behind the ones I say. We both know that we're on overtime right now. We both know that it can't last forever./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"Some nights I get anxious. Something deep inside me keeps repeating emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'the higher you rise the harder you'll fall' /span/em, like a broken record over and over again. It feels like a clock is ticking on the back of my head, because nothing can be this good for this long for someone like me. It wouldn't be fair. But when those thoughts creep into my mind, I roll over in the bed and put my head on Steve's chest. Listening to his heart works every single time. Like a charm. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"At what feels like lightning speed, weeks become months, and I start to feel like I'm finally home. Although I suspect it has little to do with the place, and lots to do with him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"Going to the gym has become familiar too. Nat shows up this afternoon, as she's been doing lately. She just stops by every once in a while to catch up or hang out with us for short periods of time. I kinda like her, turns out we have a lot in common. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""If you keep that up you're gonna need a safe word, boys," she says as she enters the gym, and we both look up. We're in the ring, practicing some moves, and I have Steve on a lock, using enough force to immobilize him, but not nearly enough to choke him. I can't see his face, but I'm pretty sure we're both frowning right now. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""What?" he asks as I let him go, and she flashes him a smile. As I always do, I check his neck to see if I hurt him, but there's not a mark on him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Never mind. What are you guys up to?" she leans on the ring looking up at us. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Just practicing. You want in, Romanoff?" he answers as we go back to our initial positions./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""And give away all my moves? emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"No, thank you,/span/em" she purposely slurs on the last frase, making it seem like it was a ridiculous proposition. Steve rolls his eyes, and then looks back at me. I nod and we both start moving slowly in a circle to our left sides, looking for an opportunity to attack. It took weeks for me to feel confident enough to agree to do this, but we move much slower than usual -like regular people-, and don't really use our real strength, so it's not as dangerous as it could be. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"We know each other's basic tactics and go-to moves pretty well by now, so at times it almost feels like a practiced choreography, but that just makes it more of a challenge. We are kinda forced to improve, just for the sake of keeping it interesting./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He starts with four punches, which I block to throw a knee and a kick to his side. The knee gets him, but he jumps the kick and uses the opportunity to knee my stomach. I back out to avoid the worst of it and try to get him with five hits in a row: left, right, right, kick, left hook. The hook gets him, and I worry because it might have been too much, but he seems alright. Didn't even get him off his feet, but he looks a bit disoriented. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You OK?" He nods./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Yeah, don't worry". He comes at me, emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"collides /span/emagainst me and we hit the ropes. He's got his arms around my body, right above my stomach, so I get a couple of soft elbow blows to his back before he can push us both to the ground. He straddles me, pinning my left arm with his knee. I could get it out if I wanted to, but it wouldn't be fair. He's not using all his strength to immobilize it, so I can't use all of mine to get it free. Instead, I use my right arm to push him to his side and roll us over. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He looks surprised when I get him on the ground, pinning him down with both his arms over his head, and I kinda want to stay between his legs. Our eyes meet for just a fraction of a second, and I know he's thinking about it too. But Nat is here, so we have to behave. I swallow hard and get away from him, because if we're talking about fighting, you emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"never /span/emshould end up between Captain America's legs. He knows how to use them as an advantage too damn well. He would've had me in a wrench in a second if he hadn't been otherwise distracted. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"We stand up quickly and get right back to it. I try three blows, and he blocks them pretty easily. He's a really good fighter, even without his shield. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I block five jabs and a knee, but fall backwards when I barely dodge a new kick of his, one where he went four fucking feet off the floor and made two turns in the air. "Nice!" I say, right after pulling myself up. It was an awesome kick. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Thanks, I try," he replies, and I go in for the offensive. The round's kinda leveled until he manages to get me off my feet again and grabs me in a lock. He has one of his legs around me and his face on my hair. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"We have a rule: if you can't escape from a lock without seriously hurting the other person, then you're done. So I weigh my options. I could break his wrist, elbow his side or head bump his nose... Which means I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"could /span/emget out, but it would definitely hurt him and that's out of the question, even without the rule. So I tap my fingers on his arm and he lets go immediately. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Nice going," I smile as he looks at my neck. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You guys should sell tickets," Nat says when we get off the ring. We call it a day after that, and go for pizza with her. She's turning out to be quite fun to be around. Maybe she's just doing it to keep an eye on me, to make sure I don't go rogue or anything, but to be perfectly honest, I'm OK with that. It feels like a safety net. If I ever emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"do /span/emlose control, I know that it won't be long until someone finds out. And if Steve can't or won't stop me, I know she will. She came pretty close the last time we fought. She might not have the serum, but she has aiming that would make anyone jealous. Although I haven't met Clint yet. Steve says he's even better. Hard to believe. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"The pizza place is nice, not too crowded. The few looks that we get while eating are directed at them, and not me. That's always a good thing. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"But good things can't last forever, I know that better than anyone. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"One morning I'm getting out of the shower and I hear voices coming from the living room. I don't know if I should get out of the bathroom or hide until they're gone, so I get out quietly and stay in the hallway, trying to figure out if they're a threat or not. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Buck, everything's fine, you can come out," Steve says, and I breathe again. How the hell did he even know that I was here? Did he hear me? I literally wasn't making a sound, not even breathing. I take a step out to find Steve sitting on the couch with Sam, the winged guy. I swallow hard and shove my hands in my pockets. I'm really glad I'm wearing a hoodie. The long sleeves are always a plus when you're trying emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"not /span/emto remind people that you're HYDRA's nice little version of Frankenstein's monster. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Hey," I say quietly, going for the most unthreatening thing I can think of. To be fair, he did take me by surprise. But he doesn't look scared or even uncomfortable. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I think you haven't been properly introduced. Sam, this is Bucky. Bucky, Sam." He stands up and offers me his hand. It takes a second for me to understand I'm supposed to shake it. It's been a while since I've actually been introduced to someone. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Hey, man. Nice to see you not trying to kill us," he says, and I throw a look of disbelief at Steve. Was that a joke? I have no idea./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Thanks…?", I say, and it kinda sounds like a question. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"Great, I can add 'socially awkward' to my list of charming traits. /span/em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Sam was just giving me an update on the situation," I internally thank Steve for moving the conversation forward./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Great. Don't let me interrupt, I'll get out of your way, maybe go out for a second," my voice fades when they both frown./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""This concerns you too, Buck." I sit down slowly, trying my best to keep my head cool and not let my nerves get the best of me. "Apparently, the government knows you're here," Steve half whispers with a worried look, straight to the point, and everything crumbles to pieces. I feel the knot forming in my throat. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"This is it. /span/emThe moment that I always knew was coming. The ticking clock has run out of seconds, it's sound changing drastically to a high pitch alarm. I sigh, trying to let it go. I knew this would end sooner or later, I was sure of it, and yet it still feels so sudden, so out of place. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""OK." I whisper when I realize I've been quiet for too long. I hate that we're not alone for this conversation, because I feel like I'm about to cry, I feel like breaking down, and I don't trust this guy… but maybe it's better this way, maybe him being here will help me get my act under control. Steve doesn't need to deal with my shit any more than he already does. I clear my throat in an effort to buy some time. It's over. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"Just let it go. You knew it would end. /span/em /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""How did you find out?" I ask, looking at Sam./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I still have some contacts in the army. It's just a rumor, but it's getting louder by the day. Your name was encrypted on the files we made public, but the Winter Soldier has his own file cabinet worth of information." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Sounds about right," I say, throwing a nervous look at Steve. I expect him to be taken aback, but he doesn't even seem surprised./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They've been pulling information, trying to figure out your connection with HYDRA, your location, your real name…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Well, it's not that hard to figure out. They have enough footage of me to make a movie or two," I leave out with a fed up tone./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Wait a minute, maybe emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"it is /span/emhard." Steve's voice makes me look at him again. "You've been dead to the world for decades, man." I shake my head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'died' /span/emin the exact same place HYDRA trained the Winter Soldier. It won't take long for them to find that out and make the connection."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Did you disappear and resurfaced in the same year?" Steve asks, and I frown while I shake my head, but I don't look at him as I talk./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""No. They didn't have the same machines back then. They had to do it the old fashion way. It took some time for them to… break me. About five or six years, maybe. Although I couldn't be sure." I avoid his gaze, because I haven't been able to talk about this to him. "And even after that, it took several years to train me, and some more for them to trust me enough to deploy me to an actual mission." I make a pause. "But that doesn't matter, the file must say where and when they captured me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"Sam shakes his head. "I checked. They only registered the procedures they used, and the missions they sent you on." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Maybe they were trying to make sure they could replicate it." Steve's voice has turned analytical and controlled, like back when we were in the howling commandos. He's a soldier right now, I think he's trying to distance himself from all of this. That's good, he won't like what I'll have to do. I look down at the floor, because we've never discussed this either./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Well, they did. In the 90's, I was ordered to steal something. It was a briefcase with more or less the same kind of serum they used on you and me." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They used it?" Sam asks, and I nod./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They made five more Winter Soldiers." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""That should be in the files too, right?" Steve's talking to Sam now. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""It should be, yeah," he answers, and then looks at me. "Where are they now?" I shrug./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I was assigned the last mission alone, so they're probably still back in Syberia." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Then maybe the government's got bigger problems to worry about," Sam offers, but I know that's not gonna keep them away from me. I'm still too much of a threat to be left alone. I sigh and fall back in the chair. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""None of this really matters, they'll come for me as soon as they figure it out." Steve looks sad, so I try to give him a reassuring smile. I soon realize that I'm OK with all of this as long as he stays safe. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Even if they do, we could tell them what really happened. They've read the files, they can't blame you if you were tortured and brainwashed." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Come on, Steve, of course they can. They will, and you know it. They emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"need /span/emsomeone to blame, and who better than the man who emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"actually /span/emdid it?" I swallow hard, because I'm letting this whole thing get on my nerves, and then sigh again. I need to calm down, keep my head clear and my feet on the ground. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'Think like a soldier' /span/emI tell myself. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"'Be practical, be logical' /span/em./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I'm familiarized with this country's surveillance routines. They're weaker during the nights. The best moment to leave is as soon as the sun goes down." I say, and it gets slightly easier when I'm talking about this as if it was a mission. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You think we should?" Steve asks, and I frown. I didn't say 'we'. I'm about to reply, but Sam speaks first./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""But they don't seem to be doing anything. After Shield was dismantled, they're not really sure about who was a part of HYDRA. Some of the files have been proven to be false, so they're going through it piece by piece."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""They'll get to it eventually." My voice sounds grim, my tone is controlled and calculated. "And when they do, they'll come get me," it's nothing but the truth, but Steve makes a face. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," he says, and I wish I could do that, but I shake my head immediately, before he can talk me out of it… because I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"hate /span/emthis decision with everything I have, and I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"really /span/emwant to be talked out of it. I want that so bad. I'd take almost anything rather than leaving him, as long as I knew that he was happy./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""That bridge's been burned for a long time, man. You emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"know /span/emhow much blood is on my hands. They have enough evidence against me to get me on death row twenty times. And if they decide to come after me while I'm still here with you, they'll get you too. Aiding and abetting a murderous terrorist," I gesture towards him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You're not a terrorist, you weren't in control." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I wouldn't be able to prove it, and even if I was, they wouldn't believe me." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Then we'll leave. It's not a big deal." That sounds like heaven, but I know that it can't happen. I'm about to say as much, but Sam stands and we both look at him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I'll head out, just wanted to give you guys a heads-up, and all our phones are being monitored so…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Thanks, Sam. It means a lot to us. We really appreciate it,"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""No problem, man." He nods in my direction and goes for the door. As he's about to go out, he turns to add something. "Want to know what I think?" He says, and we both nod. "If they were going to do something, I think they would have already done it. Maybe they're just, you know, checking if you're under control. Maybe keeping your head down is the smart thing to do right now." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He leaves, and the room goes dead silent. I close my eyes and pretend for just a second that this is all a nightmare. I slowly pull myself up. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"I don't want to go. /span/em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You asked me to tell you if I was leaving," I whisper, so that my voice won't break. "I'm leaving as soon as the sun goes down… and you can't come."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Come on, man. You know me better than that," I can tell by his tone that he's trying so hard to sound as if he was OK, but I know he's about to break just as much as I am. He gets closer and puts his hands on the sides of my crossed arms. I avoid looking at him, but he searches for my eyes until I do. "Don't do that, babe. Please don't shut me out." He sounds broken. I give in a little, touching his face too, because he also emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"looks /span/embroken, and I simply can't take it. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I don't want to turn you into a criminal, Stevie," I whisper. "You deserve emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"so much /span/emmore than that." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Buck, I don't give a fuck about the law. You know that. I just want to do the right thing. Even if I didn't love you, you're still innocent, and I'm not about to let them take you, or force you to escape as if you weren't. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"You're /span/emthe one who doesn't deserve that." I shake my head. He's got it all wrong. I'm about to tell him that, but he cuts me off. "Let me do some digging, I still have a few acquaintances here and there. I can ask around. See if they'd be willing to make a deal." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""What do you mean by a deal?" He shrugs./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I don't know, maybe some sort of parole? The avengers are OK with you being here as long as you're with me, so maybe they could be too." I make a face. The only reason the Avengers agreed was because of him, out of respect or love. The government doesn't have those bonds, their view in the matter won't be as biased. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Let's just think about it for a few days, alright? Calm down, analyze our options," as he speaks he puts both his hands in my face again and I close my eyes. The conflicted feelings grow inside me until I think I might break in half. I'm a fucking soldier, I should just accept my faith and face the battle that's been laid on me… but I want to stay so badly. Every inch of me craves to stay a moment longer. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I never should've come here," I whisper, and his eyes reflect the pain that I'm feeling. "Why couldn't I just leave you alone?" I ask and he raises his eyebrows./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""You think I would've been better off? Buck, if you hadn't come here, I would've never stopped looking for you." He kisses me gently and then looks at me in the eyes again, staying just a couple inches away. "Everything's gonna be alright. OK?" His tone is as sweet as his lie, and I let the sound of his voice wash over me. It's impossible to fight it. "Let's give it a couple weeks, I'll see what I find out, and if anything changes, we'll leave. Both of us," he says. He really looks like he means it. Like he'll give up all of this to come with me. He really shouldn't think like that./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""A couple weeks," I repeat, because I don't want to promise him that we'll go away together. He has a life. He had one before I arrived, and he could get it back. He could. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He hugs me, and I hang on to him, face buried in his hair and hands clinging to his clothes. I'm trying so hard to pretend I'll never have to let him go. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I'm not hungry, and I don't think he is either, but we go through the motions anyway. We cook lunch and sit at the table looking at our plates like neither of us is sure what they're for. I sigh when I realize that I won't be able to pass a single bite. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I wish we could get a drink," I say. "That it would make a difference," I add when he looks at me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""That'd be nice," he answers quietly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Have you ever really tried?" I ask, because he has explained to me that alcohol won't work on us, but I don't know if he has put it to the test. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Once," he says and gets up to clear our nearly untouched plates./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""When?" I press, because it sounds like he's holding back. He's facing away from me, pretending to wash the dishes. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""When you died," he replies after a moment. I can tell he's trying to sound OK, but I notice the way his shoulders are set, and I know he's not. "When the rest of us went back to the base… it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore." His voice shivers and I get up and wrap my arms around him from behind, placing both my hands on his chest and resting my head on his shoulder. His hands fly up to my arms to complete an improvised hug. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I went back to that bar we used to go to. The one that they blew up, remember?" I nod. "I guess I needed to feel close to you. I needed to be some place where we had been ourselves, and not part of the howling commandos." I hear the knot in his throat now, but I don't say anything about it. I just hug him harder. "Because I hated that you were in the howling commandos. If I hadn't dragged you into all of that, you would've still been alive." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"am./span/em" I say quietly, pressing my chest to his back so that he can feel my heart./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""If it weren't for me, they never would have gotten to you," he adds, and now I know what's really going through his head, why he's still so affected by this, even though he knows I didn't really die that day. It's guilt. "They tortured you for emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"so long /span/em, you said it yourself, it took emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"years /span/emfor them to break you, they used you to do those things, and if I hadn't-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Steve, stop," I cut him off because neither of us should be thinking about those years. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I turn him, so he's facing me, but his eyes don't meet mine. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Hey…" I whisper. "How could you think that? I would have died in Azzano if it weren't for you. And I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"never /span/emblamed you for the train."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""It was my fault you were there that day. I got careless, I went too far too quickly and they got us separated because of that. And I couldn't keep you from falling. I tried, Buck. I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"swear /span/emI tried." He says the last frase like he's trying to convince me. Like I wouldn't know or like I wouldn't believe him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I put my hands on the sides of his face and rest my forehead against his, gently shushing him. He's not supposed to think stuff like that. He's supposed to be the smart one. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""Listen to me carefully, OK?" I whisper, and he nods after a second. "I emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"know /span/emyou tried. emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"Of course /span/emI know. I've never doubted that." He closes his eyes and I gain a little courage, because it's easier for me to speak freely if I don't feel watched. "We were always a team. You were always my partner… even if it didn't mean exactly the same back then," I add the last part pulling away a little, conjuring a chuckle out of God knows where. He opens his eyes again and it takes me a second to keep going. "I would've been downright emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"offended /span/emif you hadn't included me in the howling commandos, man."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He gives me a small smirk, and I plant a kiss in it before continuing. I wish I could turn off the lights and pretend like I'm invisible, but I make an effort to keep my shit together. "I think I never told you, but I was so proud of being a part of that. To still be able to help, even after all the changes you had gone through. Even after you became Captain America. Because you still trusted me to have your back, even if I wasn't like you, even if you didn't really need me anymore. I wanted to be there for you. I wouldn't have let you go alone."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"I swallow hard, because my chest feels tight with the confessions, and my hands are shaking with the effort it takes for me to speak my feelings like this. But he's hurting and I can't let that pass. I can't ignore it, I've never been able to ignore it. He closes his eyes for a moment again, and rests his head on my shoulder. It feels like it's made to fit there. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""It never mattered if I needed you or not. I've always emspan style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;"wanted /span/emyou with me. I still do. Maybe more than ever." The lump in my throat gets thicker and I stroke his back./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;""I'm here now," I say quietly, because I can't promise him anything more. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: normal; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 15.45pt 0cm 15.45pt 0cm;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Verdana',sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: #2a2a2a; mso-fareast-language: ES-AR;"He holds me tighter, probably hearing the silent words behind the ones I say. We both know that we're on overtime right now. We both know that it can't last forever./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;" /p