Against The Tide

by ArumikaHaven

After Eren and Mikasa run away together, an unexpected letter reaches Armin a year later and starts a chain of events the trio never thought they would have to face. Against the tides of hardship, Mikasa is forced to reflect on her whole life, relationship with Eren, her friendship with Armin and make the ultimate choice that will provide herself and her family the best future.

12. New Struggles

When morning came, Mikasa woke up to the sound of Carla's cries from the nursery. She opened her eyes slowly, her body feeling exhausted from the night before. She forced herself to sit up, feeling a small breeze from the opened window, allowing the scent of lavender to fill the room. It helped Mikasa relax slightly, as she stood up, clutching her wrapped hand. It was beginning to sting again, which frustrated her as she winced, waving her hand in an attempt to get it to stop hurting, and made her way to the nursery, on tunnel vision to take care of her daughter. Her hair was a bit messy and sticking up, though it didn't get near the level as bad back when her hair was short. When she entered the nursery, she could see Carla had managed to kick her blanket over, crying a bit loudly, kicking her little feet, and moving her arms. Mikasa hurried over to the crib gently picked up her daughter and soothed her, whispering and rubbing her back. She slowly took a seat in the rocking chair by the window. Carla whimpered, fussing a bit and gripping Mikasa's front with her tiny hands.

"It's okay butterfly, mama's here, are you hungry? That's it...there you go sweetheart" Mikasa helped her little one latch onto her breast as she nursed her, knowing that within the next few months, Carla would be able to gradually start eating more solid foods.

On one hand, this was a good thing as with how Mikasa's mental state was, she needed nutrients for herself. But on the other hand, Mikasa would miss this bonding time with her daughter. She wasn't sure if she should mention this to Armin with how everything had been, but it made Mikasa develop baby fever already. Carla was theirs, she was their daughter. Nothing would change that. But still, Mikasa couldn't help but daydream about having a child of Armin's, picturing an adorable blonde-haired, blue-eyed son or daughter. The idea of a mini Armin running around with their daughter, made Mikasa smile.

But as much as it was something she knew she would want eventually again, she knew now wasn't the time. With how bad her mental health had gotten, going through another pregnancy with all those hormones and emotions would be far too much on her. And Mikasa knew this. For now, she enjoyed the peaceful morning as she gently rocked her daughter.

"Mama's sorry if she scared you last night, sweetheart. You're okay little one..." She soothed gently, holding her daughter close. Carla's cries quieted instantly once she was being fed, her blue eyes looking around curiously. Mikasa had been so tunnel-visioned to tend to her baby, that she didn't notice if Armin was still asleep in bed or not.

In the bedroom, Armin immediately began to stir when he felt Mikasa awake, hearing the cries of their little baby. He didn't react immediately though, as his body had been much more exhausted from the day prior than he had originally anticipated. So, he had snoozed in just for a few more moments, hearing the cries of his daughter quiet down softly, as well as Mikasa's soft voice soothing her.

Finally, as the sun began to rise a bit more, its rays danced in from the reflection of the window, causing golden rays to fall upon the silent room. Armin's face had been lit up against these golden streams, illuminating his carved features as he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the sun blind his closed eyes. Finally, after a few moments, he stood up with a soft sleepy groan, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before he turned his glance towards the open door. He lazily brushed his bed head back into place, getting up from the bed before making it neatly.. always ensuring that Mikasa had some form of routine as she worked through her hard time, as well as a clean environment where she could escape to if Carla got to be too much for her. Once he neatly made the bed and fluffed the many pillows they had, Armin made his way to Carla's bedroom.

He leaned softly against the door, watching as the two bonded over Carla's breakfast. He smiled warmly, studying the way that Mikasa's face had matured ever since she had birthed their daughter.. and her beauty had only seemed to grow the more time he got to spend with her. Every day, he could never find the words to express his gratitude for what he was given.. and each day he made sure that Mikasa's beauty was something that was never taken lightly. With his negative self-image.. he knew that no matter what happened, he wanted his girls to know just how beautiful they were, inside and out. His mind wandered, and a massive smile remained plastered on his face as he watched the two in silence for a moment, moving to walk toward Mikasa. He leaned down, pecking her cheek softly, before his hand moved to brush Carla's hair back, allowing her tiny hand to grab onto his finger.

"There's my two beautiful girls… you must have been hungry little one…" Armin greeted softly, curling his finger around her tiny hand.

Mikasa gave a warm smile, leaning her head against Armin's side as she continued nursing their daughter.

"She always is in the morning...I think Hange should probably try to feed her more than potatoes though" She admitted, some light shining through her voice, indicating today was likely to be a better day. She glanced out the window, feeling the warm sun on her face. She also felt a need to go outside today...just enjoy the warm weather and get out of the cabin for a few hours. Carla seemed restless too, her little arms outstretched to her father, as she finished nursing, babbling curiously.

"Maybe we should all get some fresh air" Mikasa wondered aloud, as she gently held Carla, patting her back and gently bouncing her. Carla babbled some more, reaching her tiny hand out and gripping Armin's finger tightly.

While Shiganshina had grown much more over the past four months, it still had a long way to go. Rations were still limited to an extent, and the town needed much more livestock than they had. Indirectly, the Rumbling had caused some devastation to all of the ranches on Paradis. The earthshaking of the Titans had started a nasty domino effect. Livestock were scared, horses jumping fences, and some were injured and killing themselves in panic. An entire herd of cattle on a ranch near Trost had run off a cliff in the panic, and several spooked horses, cattle, and other various livestock had run so far in their panic, that many were trampled by the titans. It had caused serious problems for the people of Paradis, and with Marley nearly in ruins, they couldn't receive much support for at least four more years. With that, wildlife had also been scared off deep into the forests and mountains, making hunting trips long, and exhausting. And with very little reward for their efforts.

With that said, it allowed the residents to adapt, so many had begun learning to endure these harsh hunting trips, as well as fish more, to provide for their families until more trading would be approved from Marley. Sasha and her father took to teaching many residents how to hunt, while Nicolo taught many had to cook properly. For now, Armin and Mikasa had a small garden that grew potatoes and carrots, and weekly Armin would go out and attempt to hunt nearby. Usually, he would be able to bring back a pheasant, a trout, or a rabbit, and on two lucky occasions in the four months, he managed to get a whitetail buck. But that was only after he spent a solid three days scaling the more dangerous mountains.

Armin moved to brush her bangs out of Mikasa's face, embracing her tightly as he gawked happily at Carla. When she had finished nursing, Armin carefully removed Carla from Mikasa's grasp, cradling her close as he burped her softly. Carla continued to babble happily, playing with a piece of Armin's hair as he smiled softly, cuddling her close to him. He paced around the room as he bounced her softly, patting her back as he turned his glance towards the window, allowing the sun to fall upon his blue eyes, causing them to gleam softly.

"I agree, it's been a while since I had checked the garden. I should mount up and walk the trails too, see if I can find us some protein." Armin replied to her softly, allowing Carla to grab onto his finger again, bouncing her hand as he cooed at her happily.

"Maybe you'll be more of a meat girl.. hmm little butterfly? Potato stew just won't be your thing." Armin whispered to Carla softly, nuzzling against her cheek as he tickled her softly, causing her to break out into a loud laughter. After a few moments, Armin turned back towards Mikasa, bouncing Carla softly in his grasp. His face shifted into a serious expression, as his brows furrowed slightly in concern.

"How are you doing darling? If you need some time alone, I can drop Carla off with Hange or Sasha before I head out.. you know she loves petting the big ponies. Don't you, baby girl?" Armin asked worriedly, allowing Carla to play with his cheek and hair, babbling happily as she kicked her little feet.

Mikasa pondered on Armin's question for a moment, even she wasn't fully sure how okay she was. Especially when that breakdown seemed to hit her so suddenly. And it would be extremely hard for someone like her to recognize natural warning signs of an oncoming meltdown or even just a panic attack. She never had to deal with these when she had her Ackerman abilities. And any time she felt on the verge of one, she either could fight it off or they wouldn't be near as bad. But...one thing Mikasa was certain of, she often felt better when spending time outside in the warm weather.

"I think I'm okay...but thank you, honey..." She assured her softly, appreciating how much Armin looked out for her and her health. She stood up, being careful with her hand as she smiled at Carla, gently caressing her cheek.

"You wanna go outside today, sweetheart? Yeah?" She spoke softly, wearing a loving smile as the baby smiled excitedly.

The young mother gave herself a chance to stretch, grunting a bit as she allowed the tenseness in her muscles to relax, and after she had a shower, the little family got ready to head outside. Mikasa wore her dark purple cardigan, white top and dark gray skirt. Armin was wearing his blue top, brown pants and gray jacket. Mikasa had Carla in a warm wrap carrier on her back, enabling her to help Armin out as much as she could while keeping Carla close. Little Carla was wearing a light pink top and white pants.

Though Mikasa would likely be a bit restricted with her injured hand, that still had a persistent sting. Their property was a nice one, with a decent amount of space for their two horses, and a garden and they were right in front of a hunting trail that led into the forest. There was also a river just a short walk to the east of the property that held a decent amount of trout and bass. The garden had a flimsy fence around it in an attempt to protect the produce from rabbits and other pests. Unfortunately, the fence was falling apart and they didn't have the money for the proper materials to build a much stronger fence. The rabbits chewed through a wooden fence, so a stronger material was needed. As a result, Armin was often fixing it and setting traps for rabbits. The rabbits have gotten smart though, many avoiding his traps after they had caught two or three of them.

First, Mikasa walked into the barn, letting both horses out into the pasture. The fence for the horses was much more stable, luckily. Chouka trotted out first, the blue roan enjoying the warm sun and finding a spot to graze in the middle of the pasture. Kusunoki cantered out next, enjoying the space to run around in before finally the pale faced palomino found a spot near Mikasa's mount to graze. The stalls were still fairly clean, so Mikasa took to filling the metal stall baskets attached to the walls with fresh hay. She then filled up the buckets that were hung on the stall doors with fresh water. Once everything in the barn was done, she walked outside and went over to check on Armin at the garden.

"Any catches, love?" She asked softly, gently bouncing Carla anytime the baby fussed, which wasn't often.

Armin wandered his way over to the garden, walking the perimeter of the fence at first. He quickly noticed the wear and tear of the fence, as more posts had been broken down and chewed through, and some of the weaker crops had been rooted up and eaten down to the scraps of their leaves. He heaved a heavy sigh, realizing that he'd have to make the trip to town to get more traps and bait for the other weakened parts of the fence line. He scratched his head as he continued to think, feeling rather frustrated with himself for not being more watchful of the fence... and allowing his work in politics to distract him from his tasks at home.

He heaved another sharp exhale, moving to start checking the traps he had set up around the garden. There were four small traps in total, and they had been the most humane option available under their limited technologies within Paradis. Two out of the four had a rabbit inside, both seemed to be pretty fat and happy off of the garden's crops. He pulled one of them out, laying its head out on a flattened stone nearby, before moving to grab another large rock in his hand. Before the rabbit was able to struggle too much, Armin was quick to humanely dispose of the rabbit, allowing it to fall limp against the stone as a puddle of blood formed from a small wound in the back of his head.

After all of these years, after all of this fighting... Armin still sat here running off of the land and surviving off of the bare minimum the government rule was able to provide. What exactly were they supposed to get out of all of this? Other than a place in the history books... Armin hadn't found anything worth celebrating during his time and courage dedicated to the scouts. So many years ago, this whole war humanity had fought was so simple...now though, things had grown only more complicated, and the solution to humanity's problems had only grown harder and harder to find.

Now, as he continued to fight for his life against the tensions of Marley, he also had to do what was possible to ensure that his family would survive. Although the unforgivable power of the Titans had faded, it only opened up the stage for harsher conflicts to arise. He heard Mikasa approaching the garden, shaking himself free from the grasp his thoughts had on him, standing tall as he held both of the dead rabbits in his hands, grasping onto their tied feet tightly. He turned to show her the rabbits, lifting them to show their size.

"I think I found the leader of the culprits getting into the garden. This should feed us for a good few weeks, and I can trade the pelts for a few more traps."

Mikasa took a good look at the large rabbit, looking surprised at its size.

"I'd say that's got to be him...it explains where all the carrots have been going" She admitted, before taking a good look at the garden and its fence which was barely being held together at this point, string-tied around certain parts to keep it upright. She held an expression of worry, wondering how much longer they could struggle like this. In the warm months of summer, they were getting by decently, though most days of the week they had potato stew, it was still fairly often Armin was able to provide them with proper protein, whether it be the garden thieves, or a hunted bird or caught fish at the river.

However...what would they do during the winter months? When the garden would be dormant and most animals would be in hibernation? Yes they could purchase supplies and butchered meat in town, but there was such a limited supply due to the lack of animals, that wasn't at all reliable.

Sure, they could start overhunting, put the meat on a dry rack and stock up for the winter...but would that be enough? Especially since hunting offered little luck with everyone in the town getting food the same way.

And that very lack of resources had led to some tension. Sasha had nearly gotten into a heated fight with a random resident over a boar, the story was that Sasha was the one who tracked it for days, but the resident ended up shooting it. In the end, they were able to agree on sharing the meat, but it could have easily ended badly. Mikasa worried that Armin would end up in a similar conflict, only it wouldn't end as peacefully. There was naturally going to be anxiety for winter as well, and hunting would likely increase in the fall.

"Armin...what's the plan for winter? Would Marley be able to bring us some relief by then…?" She had to ask, not wanting to pressure Armin, but she knew the reality of their situation. She knew the likely answer, but it was a question of growing desperation. By winter, Carla would be eating more solid foods. If push came to shove, Mikasa could try to nurse her...but she wasn't sure how much milk her body would be able to produce, especially if their food was limited.

Armin seemed to hold the same worries when it came to winter, blinking softly as he threw the rabbits firmly over his shoulder, following her glance towards the broken down fence, frowning softly. Mikasa had made a fair point, and to some degree he held the same curiosity, wondering if they were ever going to get out of this time of crisis... and build Paradis from the destroyed remains of what it once was. Sure with the loss of Titans, more land had been gained, which allowed for some improvements and the rebuilding of once-lost villages. This was amongst the small handful of successions the scouts were able to celebrate their long fight for... but it had continued to grow more and more obvious despite being under numerous peace treaties.. they still were being segregated apart from the rest of the world through overseas trades and other political agreements.

They always had the short end of the stick, and it alarmed Armin... wondering just how much it was going to take before they had to resort to violence to settle their ordeals.

"I know they were going to discuss what we had asked about improving our trade relations between the two islands... but who knows how long they're going to take on that... We worry that if we are any form of pushy, it'll ruin all of the progress we have made thus far. They've lodged us in such a hard place... and I would hope that Marley provides us some relief…but I'm not sure if they're even capable of surviving the winter themselves…" Armin's tone seemed hopeless, keeping his head low as he heaved a soft sigh, his worries surfacing in his words. On one hand, most of Marley's population had been wiped out by The Rumbling, they had a significantly smaller population than Paradis…but there were still a couple hundred people who managed to survive the devastation.

Mikasa's eyes expressed worry, as she gently bounced Carla as the little one gripped her mom's ponytail, chewing on the end of it slightly.

"If it was just us two...that would be one thing but..." Mikasa looked over her shoulder at Carla, before gently pulling the end of her ponytail from the baby's mouth. She had been teething more and more with her teeth coming in. Mikasa gently reached in her cardigan pocket, pulling out a soft, rubber-like toy in the shape of a ring.

"Here sweetie, this should help..I know, it doesn't feel good" Mikasa soothed gently, helping Carla bite onto the toy. Once the baby had a good grasp on it, Mikasa turned her attention back to Armin.

"I could try nursing her in the winter but...she's teething pretty bad. I don't care if I get bit up but I'm worried if I'll even be able to provide her with enough..." Mikasa confessed worriedly.

She knew that winter was going to be hard, and her mind frantically tried to search for ideas. There had to be another food source they could easily acquire in the winter, that would sustain their daughter.

Armin nodded in agreement, watching Carla carefully as a bittersweet smile formed on his face. He had forgotten how big little Carla was getting, and her teething was just the next step as she grew... pretty soon, he'd be watching her take her first steps... if they could survive through the winter that is. Armin's smile quickly faded, and a soft expression of concern fell upon his features as he gave an understanding nod.

"She can't spend the most crucial part of her growth purely off of the nutrients from your milk... There has to be some other way that we can prepare for these cold months and survive... Goddammit... this wasn't supposed to be our lives after all of this... It was supposed to be different... nothing changed at all... our people are still living in turmoil..." Armin expressed his frustrations, allowing his anger to form in his tone as he pulled his free hand into a fist.

"Maybe we should go to town and try and get ideas...I'm sure at the least Sasha might have some. I'm sure Historia is facing the same anxiety with her daughter.." Mikasa suggested. They could head into town once Armin was done fixing the fence again, and that gave Mikasa a chance to walk around the property a bit for ideas.

"I'm not sure what else we can do...at least it can get you and Carla out of the house for a bit, have a change of scenery, and meet up with some of your old friends. They always ask about how you're doing." Armin attempted to apply a bit of a positive light to such a dull situation. He composed his frustrations, saving them for the next meeting with the politicians of Paradis with Levi and Hange. He nodded softly towards her, before making his way back towards the barn, where he could store the rabbits for butchering later and receive his tools to fix the garden fence.

"Maybe...the people of Paradis can have a meeting, without Marley...figure out a way to provide for ourselves. I'm not sure how well it would go since everyone needs food and supplies but..maybe it could open some form of communication" Mikasa wondered, as she gently bounced Carla who began babbling cutely, as if wanting to partake in the conversation. Mikasa smiled warmly back at her daughter.

"You agree, butterfly? Well, you tell Daddy all about it" She said softly, before turning back to Armin.

"I'll take a walk around and see if I can think of something for now...just let me know when you're ready to head out love" She kissed Armin's cheek, before making her way towards the river. Armin watched them both, sighing worriedly as he resumed his chores.

As Mikasa walked for a few minutes, she paused for a moment, taking in the beautiful scenery once the river came into view. She felt the wind breeze through her, before looking down towards the river. She walked towards the gentle part of it, gazing down at the stream as she briefly experienced a flashback of when she was little. Her father had taken her fishing when she was only about 5 or 6. She remembered her dad trying so hard to teach her how to swing the rod over, but her childhood self was more interested in collecting flowers nearby and making flower crowns.

The memory caused a small lump to form in her throat, and almost immediately the innocent memory was replaced by a violent flash of her father's body sitting in a pool of blood...as her mother rushed to protect her. Mikasa's eyes darkened as she looked down, before shaking her head as she quickly fought to pull herself together, she couldn't afford to shut down right now.

She knelt in front of the flowing stream and splashed some of the cold water on her face, exhaling shakily as she attempted to fight off any sort of episode. As the water dripped from her long bangs, she heard Carla cooing and babbling on her back. She looked over her shoulder and noticed her child was pointing curiously over at some bushes that sat a few feet from the river. Mikasa blinked and realized why Carla was so interested.

The green bushes had speckles of color, mostly red and some pink. Mikasa got up, and walked over, realizing they were raspberry bushes. She was surprised, having no idea they had berry bushes. She gently picked some and held one up for Carla to try.

"What do you think of these, sweetie?" She asked, wondering if she could get her picky child to like something solid. Carla took a bite out of the berry and immediately finished eating it, reaching eagerly for more and smiling. Mikasa's face lit up, relieved to finally find something for her daughter. But she knew raspberries only grew in the warmer seasons, so she looked over the area to see if she could pinpoint a species of berry that grew year-round, regardless of how cold it got.

Her eyes scanned for any signs of blue in the nearby bushes. She walked alongside the river for a little bit, and eventually, she found herself near the hunting trail right outside the forest. Mikasa looked around, before finally spotting speckles of blue in some bushes by the trees. Mikasa hurried over, kneeling and confirming they were blueberries. Immediately, the young mother was filled with some hope. Blueberries grew in all seasons, including the harsh winter months, it would be one source of food they could harvest for their daughter. She would need more than berries of course, but it was a start the young parents desperately needed. And would be at least an option to prevent their child from starving to death.

After letting Carla eat a few blueberries, Mikasa picked several for later and counted about twelve bushes on the edge of the forest. It would be a bit of a trek in the winter, but she could easily ride her horse to collect the berries without having to trudge through deep snow every day.

Armin moved quickly to fix the fence, using some hard-aged wood to remake a few of the posts…hoping its stronger structure would prove to be much easier to keep the varmints out. With his hard work, Armin had to brush his growing hair back, silently reminding himself to ask Mikasa to cut it back to its short length when they had a free moment to do so. Armin carefully carried over the crafted posts, using a heavy sledgehammer to slam them into the already dug holes in the earth, sealing them in with a few extra stones that had been lying around. Armin then used some old barbed wire he had collected from the barn's interior stalls, figuring it would have a much better usage here in the exterior property rather than collecting rust. He closed off any gaps in between the fence posts with the barbed wire and stones, sealing off the crops as best as he could with the limited materials he was given.

Once he had finished, Armin walked back over towards the pasture, calling in both of their mounts with a firm whistle. Both immediately ran to the fence, greeting him with eager snorts and bobs of their head. Armin then worked quickly to groom and tack up both of the horses, finishing up Chouka at first, before moving to his mount.. hoping to provide him some special attention after their busy time. As he ran his brush through his sleek coat, Armin's eyes fell upon the brand engraved into his back leg, frowning softly as memories of his own time as a soldier crashed down on him.

The stench of death surrounded him, his shaky hand reaching up to grasp onto the horse, leaning his weight against him as he felt his legs attempt to give out. He felt his stomach churn as a form of nausea fell over him, causing his body to sway slightly as the memories flashed through his head, all of them ending in the gruesome corpses he had to bear witness to. Suddenly, through his racing mind... could feel an overbearing warmth take over him, constricting his tense body as he felt his body begin to hyperventilate.

Unexpectedly, when he moved to lift his head, instead of meeting the sight of his horse... he was met with a wall of hot steam and flames. His eyes widened as he flinched back from his horse, looking down at his hands, turning them palm upwards. As he watched them tremble, he witnessed his skin burst into flames, consuming his limbs in a matter of seconds before he was able to scream out.

Armin's mind was shot back into reality when he heard the loud impatient snort of his mount. He blinked suddenly, and he was met with the image of his horse in front of him again, the warmth on his skin fading entirely as he felt his heart pounding heavily against his chest. He felt beads of sweat roll down from his forehead as he took a few moments to recover, composing his panicked breathing.

"Sorry, boy..." Armin apologized to his horse, patting his neck before he continued to tack up his animal, tightening his saddle before sliding his bridle over his head. Finally, Armin silently moved to lead both of the horses toward the exit of their property, awaiting Mikasa's return as he exhaled shakily, closing his eyes as he attempted to collect his thoughts momentarily.

Mikasa made her way back to the cabin, carrying a now sleepy Carla on her back. She saw Armin had the horses ready, so she gently rubbed her injured hand before approaching them. She waved her hand to the side, trying to shake off the stinging, deciding she would need to grip the reins with her other hand. It was doable, but it was a good thing she could safely carry Carla on her back like this. She noticed Armin appeared paler than usual, and maybe a little shaken up. Though she was sure she looked the same way.

"Armin..? Are you okay?" Mikasa asked worriedly, gently placing her uninjured hand on his shoulder. Carla yawned, nuzzling her head against Mikasa's shoulder, and starting to fall asleep. Her lips had some blue and red specks on them from the berries, and Mikasa looked a bit tired, and much like Armin, she was on the paler side. Both of the young parents were struggling to recover from their past trauma, and it was becoming evident just how bad their PTSD was. Mikasa used her injured hand to gently pet her mare's nose, ensuring the horse was ready to ride out. The mare nuzzled against Mikasa's hand affectionately, nodding her big head and counting her hoof to the ground.

Armin flinched a bit at her sudden touch, and he immediately looked at her with his worrisome expression. Like Mikasa, he looked like he had just seen a ghost. He had attempted to speak to her but found it impossible to form any sort of words as he mumbled softly under his breath, barely creating comprehensive sentences. All he could remember was her panicked cries, the sound of her entire being crushing while he continued to fight frantically for his life, feeling nothing but that numbing sensation all around his body. He noticed the same paleness on her face, and he noticed that she must have been facing her form of trauma. His face formed a sad expression, and he mumbled frantically in a sudden attempt to reassure her, still feeling his body at a total loss of control from his trauma.

When he realized that he couldn't use his words to help her, he immediately moved to pull her into a tight embrace, both for her and for his frantic need to find something to ground himself. He wrapped his arms around her, ensuring that Carla would remain untouched before he leaned his head down against her shoulder, exhaling softly as he melted against her warmth.

"Sorry, Mikasa... I'm not sure what happened..." Armin attempted to lie to her, hoping that shifting her worry away from his own mental state would prove to be the best option for her. He slowly pulled himself away, allowing his eyes to pan around his surroundings momentarily, ensuring that his mind was reminded of where his reality stood.

Mikasa pulled Armin tight into their embrace, she gently rubbed his back and ran her fingers through his hair on the back of his neck. Mikasa knew Armin had to have his own PTSD and trauma with everything they had been through. That much Mikasa could easily figure out on her own, even if he hadn't shown as many signs. And it's partly why she fought her trauma so hard, she needed to be strong for him. Armin was strong for her when she went through her pregnancy and labor, not to mention that awful meltdown the night before, now it was her turn to be the strong one. Mikasa...always loved Armin, and she always knew how much more fragile and sensitive he was than she and Eren had been. She remembered often protecting and comforting him when they were kids, and even when they were in both the Cadets and the Scouts.

Mikasa held Armin close to her, tightening her grasp and kissing the top of his head. The last thing she wanted was for Armin to go through what she was...but she knew there was no avoiding it. Ever since they got older, Armin was often strong. He had grown so much since their early days training together. He had proven that time and time again.

However, there were still times when Armin would break, and it was in those times where Mikasa comforted him, and allowed him to be the weak one. Their dynamic in the cadets made several of their friends assume they had more of a big sister/little brother, or even a mother figure/son relationship. This would explain why they were so shocked at the two's newfound feelings for each other. Regardless if this dynamic made their relationship seem strange, Mikasa didn't care. She loved Armin..and she swore to protect him and keep him safe, and that never changed.

"It's okay...I know...I know honey...you're okay…you're home…" Mikasa assured him gently, holding him tight, her eyes saddening.

Armin's mind continued to flood with the heavy poison that was his guilt and doubt. Even after all of this time, he continued to wonder if Levi had made the right choice… if he was meant to be here. If Erwin had replaced his position, and Mikasa had the time to grieve, would any of this have even happened between Eren and the Marleyans? Maybe his death was not supposed to be avoidable… and his purpose here had been nothing but a curse. This combined with Mikasa's soft soothing words immediately drew him to choke back a sob, hiding his face in her shoulder as his body trembled lightly. He attempted to quiet himself, ensuring that Carla wouldn't hear him.

"I'm sorry Mikasa… I know you're going through a lot right now… I have no right to be sitting here and being such a big baby…" Armin apologized frantically, attempting to quiet his cries as he pulled away, moving to cup her cheeks in his shaky palms, looking down at her with his anxious eyes.

"Don't force your strength sweet girl… you know I've made it through hell and back… surely I can handle a couple of tears…" Armin spoke, his voice shaky.

Mikasa gently gripped Armin's shaky hand, feeling some warmth in her cheeks as they turned a bit red at his nickname for her. She then gently caressed his cheek, looking into his ocean-blue eyes. Somehow always gazing into his eyes helped calm Mikasa, even if just for a little while. It was like gazing at that big, blue ocean, she could almost hear the ocean waves, see the seagulls flying overhead, and feel the warm sun on her face.

"Hush...I'm not the only one who's struggling right now.." Mikasa assured him, pressing her forehead to his gently. "You're home...and you're safe, sweetheart" Mikasa promised him, gently gripping his hand and kissing him softly on the lips.

Shortly after, the married couple rode into town. Carla had fallen asleep at this point, resting peacefully against her mom's back. As they arrived in town, Mikasa noticed Sasha and Pieck standing near one of the produce market stands. Since the war ended, several Marley residents have ended up moving to Paradis, especially the Eldian residents. Pieck was among them. Falco had also moved to Paradis. Losing Reiner during the final battle was the last straw for the poor kid, and he moved in with Levi and Hange, helping take care of the former.

Mikasa pulled her mount to a stop near some hitching posts, and dismounted carefully, making sure Carla stayed secure on her back, before landing carefully on her feet and walking over to Sasha and Pieck. Jean and Levi were also in town, at another stand, seeming to be quietly arguing.

Armin was fairly silent for most of the ride, partially allowing Carla to rest and enjoy the peaceful surroundings around her, but the other part.. had still felt lost in his thoughts, who had continued to dig their claws deep into the most fragile parts of his being. He could still feel the tension lingering deeply within him, but the ride had proven to be quite enjoyable. It had been obvious that the young family needed a good excuse to go out to town.

When they arrived in town, Armin greeted his old comrades with a bow of his head, moving to dismount his own steed and hitching him beside Mikasas, pulling a small apple out of his pocket and feeding it to him as he thanked him softly. He then walked to Mikasa's side, smiling softly at Sasha and Pieck, before turning his head towards the other two arguing nearby. He frowned worriedly, noticing the tension between them and the angry expression on Jean's face. "I should go see what's going on over there… let me know if my girls need anything." Armin thought out loud, leaning down to peck Mikasa's cheek before he moved to kiss Carla's head. Mikasa kissed Armin back, watching him go over to Jean and Levi, while she turned her head to the girls.

"Oh, Mikasa! Hey!", Sasha waved cheerfully at her friend, holding a basket that held some pears and bread.

"Hi Sasha, Pieck." Mikasa greeted softly.

Sasha greeted her with a wave and a warm, friendly smile while Pieck had a more reserved, but kind smile, waving slightly as well.

"Hey Mikasa! How's Carla? Any luck with the potatoes?" Sasha asked curiously, looking over Mikasa's shoulders at the sleeping baby.

"Not yet, but I found out she loves berries," Mikasa replied, shaking her head at Sasha's persistence. "Well, I don't care if it takes until she's a teenager! I'm getting her to like potatoes!" Sasha proclaimed, sounding determined.

Pieck gently gawked at little Carla, humming happily. She was particularly intrigued by her adorable chubby cheeks and the way her hair had been growing. "It's nice to see you, Mikasa… and Carla as well. What are you two doing in town?" She asked softly, looking over towards the three boys, holding her own basket neatly in her hands.

"Surely you aren't here to partake in political arguments with Levi and Jean.." her voice spoke out in a whisper.

"Unfortunately Pieck, that's mostly why we are here. Or more so...just trying to figure out ways to survive this winter." Mikasa admitted, her voice troubled as she looked down. Sasha's normally goofy and happy demeanor shifted to one of concern as well.

"You're not alone. The entire town is anxious about it. Food is getting harder to come by, even on the best days for huntin'" Sasha confessed, her accent becoming more obvious as time went on.

"Sasha, you're from a village of talented hunters. What did your people do during winter?" Mikasa asked curiously.

Sasha crossed her arms, thinking for a moment.

"To be honest, we would hunt much more often in the fall, and stock up our reserves. Food became more like rations in the winter. But...when a village is already living off rations in the warm months, winter is especially unforgivin'. Our ways wouldn't work in this situation though. Especially since Shiganshina is much larger than my village was, and all the animals scattered. And I promise it's goin' to get ugly. People will start killin' each other for a rabbit's foot, and several will likely starve unless something is figured out. An early winter would be the worst-case scenario…" She confessed grimly, not sugarcoating the situation.

She looked at Mikasa worriedly. "I'm most worried about people like children, the elderly...and new mothers. You lost a lot of nutrients feedin' Carla...so winter..." Sasha noticed Mikasa was thinner than usual, having lost a lot of her muscle.

"I'll be fine...we still have three months until winter begins. Surely something can be figured out before then..." Mikasa insisted worriedly, she still put on a strong front...though now it was more from being strong for her daughter.

At the other stand, Jean seemed to be getting increasingly heated with Levi, while keeping his voice low.

"This can't go on, Levi! What the hell is the plan for winter? We're barely getting by as it is" He argued.

"We can't just rush into Marley and steal what little resources they have, we would start a whole new war and everything we sacrificed would be for nothing..." Levi growled back. He had been living his life in a wheelchair since everything ended, a white glass eye where his old eye used to be.

Armin then made his way over to the stand, strategically placing himself between Levi and Jean, listening in on their convo for a moment.

"Hello Captain Levi, Jean… what's going on here?" Armin questioned softly.

"What's going on I'm about to run over this bastard if he doesn't get out of my damn face" Levi replied coldly, glaring up at Jean.

"Look, I'm just saying something needs to be figured out! What if we had an early winter?! We're screwed! Armin! We need your head! A meeting or something has to happen" Jean insisted.

"Okay… everyone calm down and let me think! Jean.. Levi's right.. if we act too harshly we're going to undo all of the work we've gotten done. It's a touchy subject.. and even you can understand that honestly…" Armin chimed in between the two, raising his voice slightly to break the argument between them.

"Levi.. is there any chance that we could secure a trade route with anyone else? We all know that this world is much bigger than we all anticipated. And we're all working on building our homes up; surely there's someone out there who's willing to work with us until we get on better terms with Marley. Paradis, Marley and that country Eren and Mikasa fled to..they can't be the only 20% remaining.." Armin explained softly, keeping his eyes trained on Levi. Though his voice trailed off a bit at the anxiety of that very real possibility.

Levi hesitated, collecting his thoughts. "That's hard to say. Eren really screwed us by killing off most of humanity. Right now, Marley is the only other nation of people who will work with us. We want to send out scouts to explore the rest of the world and try and find more people...but those types of expeditions are unlike anything we've ever done. The resources it would take would starve everyone staying behind. Hange and I have been discussing having a meeting though, just for us Eldians in an attempt to work out a solution. It most likely won't be an ideal one, but Hange may have some ideas, as I imagine you will as well Armin" Levi replied grimly. Jean looked down, clenching his fists.

"With those bastards across the sea dragging their asses...we'll be lucky if even half of us survive the winter" He growled under his breath.

"It can't be helped Jean…Eren destroyed most of their home, they're suffering just as much as we are, believe me," Armin reminded him carefully.

Over at the other stand, Pieck's smile seemed to fade, as a sadness seemed to take over her. Ever since she had moved in here, she was met with the reality that Paradis had been living with for all of these years… and the living hell that innocent people had been forced to live in. Those of the kindest heart had to endure the hard winters and seasons living off of pure scraps, simply because of a hatred that had been brought down for generations.. so much so that it had practically been forgotten about. She looked to Sasha, who had still been so welcoming of her, despite their upbringings.

Out of everyone…she was the one who was always making sure that she felt somewhat involved. It was times like these when Pieck had wished she could have gone back to her homeland, and used her war medals to convince her people of peace amongst the two islands. However…she knew well how important she truly was amongst her soldiers. She was simply a weapon and only held the opinions of one. She kept her silence, listening between the two of them for a moment.

"Is this how you all have always lived? Always being so worried about the upcoming winters?" She finally asked softly, her tone laced with her guilt.

Mikasa hesitated at Pieck's question, noticing her tone of guilt and regret. She looked at Sasha, who shrugged softly, before finally answering.

"Ever since Wall Maria was attacked all those years ago...by Bertolt and Reiner...winters have been hard. But I think it's especially going to be a tough one for a few reasons. For one...now that the walls are down, several Wall Rose and Wall Sina residents have come to live in Shiganshina. Most of Stowess was destroyed from all the fighting with the Jaegerists and they're going to take more than a few months to rebuild it. Trost is struggling to handle feeding all of their residents. On top of that...Paradis has always been far behind the times. We're only just now starting to catch up.." She explained.

"Granted, we have much more huntin' land with the walls down. But...we're havin' to share with groups of people that normally wouldn't have to. Residents of Sina, Rose and Maria are now all united...but it's created some tensions and fightin' over huntin' lands" Sasha admitted.

Armin gave Levi a reassuring nod, leaning back slightly against the table of the stand, crossing his arms as he allowed himself a few moments to think. He composed himself for a moment, trying his best not to allow his emotions to draw his thought process towards the situation.

"I have a few… but like Hange's.. they won't be ideal… it's going to take a lot of convincing.. especially since many of the people of the walls have all had to live together here in Shiganshina.. and are already feeling tensions in the air." Armin explained, lowering his head as he sighed softly… grimly agreeing with Jean's comment.

"Either way.. we need to make sure that we have some sort of plan in case the snow decides to come early. How soon can we have this meeting Levi?"

"It's gonna have to be damn soon. Within the next few days. I'm having Hange spread the word. We'll likely have it in the center of town, where that destroyed fountain is. In the meantime, use that head of yours to help us figure *something* out. Before someone either murders or starves" Levi advised, he spoke with his usual nonchalant manner with his words but much like Mikasa...there was a noticeable shift in Levi's tone. He sounded more nervous, on edge...it was clear his Ackerman abilities were gone too.

Pieck seemed almost crushed at the realization at Mikasa's answer, lowering her glance from the two as she remained silent for a moment, frowning softly as guilt hung over her. She remained silent, turning her head towards the town in front of them, studying the numerous people that had wandered about the numerous stands. She blinked slightly, training her focus back towards the girls.

"I wish I wasn't so naive… we all do… we should have stood against it as soon as we overtook Wall Maria… but we followed the crowd… like mindless sheep…" Pieck's voice seemed to crack slightly with emotion, as her months of guilt had surfaced slightly, causing a tremble to erupt through her body.

"I'm sorry… not only to you two.. but to your people…"

Mikasa noticed the remorse in Pieck's voice. Her face softened as she walked a bit closer to the other raven-haired girl.

"Pieck, I want you to look at Carla," She said then. Carla remained fast asleep on her mother's back, nuzzling her squishy cheek against Mikasa's shoulder.

"We were all once just like her...innocent, oblivious to the world around us...if my daughter was raised during the time you were...she would have followed along as well. You can't blame yourself for the people who raised you, and the ideals they hammered into your head from birth. Besides, it's far more complicated than that. Eldians weren't innocent, not by far. We're paying for the sins of our ancestors. What matters is that we're able to break that…and come together as allies" She said softly, her words offering a newfound comfort and reassurance for Pieck. Even Sasha looked surprised.

Pieck looked to Mikasa, noticing the generosity within her words, and feeling her chest tighten. Ever since she had arrived, forgiveness was not something she was able to partake in.. and she accepted that long before she had settled here. But, the pain in seeing the hatred in someone's eyes towards her.. or being declined service and segregated from those who were aware of her origins. She knew that kindness was not a luxury she could afford…and oftentimes she had found herself crying herself to sleep, feeling more torn apart from society than she did when she was a soldier in Marley. She blinked a few tears from her eyes, turning her glance away from Mikasa for a moment before she lowered her head, sniffling a bit.

"T.. thank you Mikasa… I really needed to hear that…" Pieck whispered gratefully, forcing a smile on her lips as she looked up at her once more. "I hope that one day the world will follow your ideals.. and we can all learn to grow from this…."

Mikasa noticed how much her words affected Pieck, and she lowered her head a bit. "You know...if you ever need someone to talk to, or you're just lonely..you're welcome to come visit me and Armin" She offered, gently adjusting Carla to ensure she wasn't falling out of her wrap. She didn't even think much about how the Eldians from Marley would be struggling to not only adjust but be accepted. She wondered just how the locals had been treating them these last few months.

Armin, just as concerned as Levi, nodded softly as he hummed in his thought, closing his eyes as he collected himself, piecing together his own plan. Finally, he opened his eyes as they hardened with determination. He straightened his posture and nodded down toward Levi.

"It's settled then, we'll meet at the broken fountain in a few days for the meeting. We can settle on a solution for winter, and work on our trading route with Marley once the weather clears up and we have some good means to bring back to them next meeting." Armin explained, his voice a bit more determined.. but a sense of anxiety still laced within his words.

Starving people were the hardest to convince, especially when they were already at each other's throats fighting for the little they had. Armin sighed, looking to the sky above them, almost reading the clouds in hopes that they would hold some sort of message within them.. any sort of guiding word. He had wondered… is this what Erwin would do? If he had been in his place; would this even be a conflict? Or would it have already been solved? He felt that looming anxiety flows over him as he looked back toward Mikasa and the other girls, his brows furrowing worriedly as he attempted to work through his doubts.

The next few days seemed to go by quickly, too quickly for Armin and Hange or both would spend several sleepless nights trying to piece together a plan that they could convince everyone to agree on. Just as Hange and Armin barely had come up with a solution, the day of the meeting arrived. The crowd that gathered was on the bigger side, most of them residents who wanted to spectate the meeting and chime in when they felt compelled to. The people actually attending the meeting were the ones who represented each group of people.

Armin, having been the one to claim he took down Eren, represented the people of Wall Maria, namely Shiganshina. Flegal represented the people of Wall Rose, namely Trost, and a middle-aged priest represented the people of Wall Sina, namely Stowess.

Mikasa was considered a resident spectator since Armin kept her protected and away from the stressful politics, but she was ready to speak her mind if needed. Carla was left with Connie and Falco, in case Sasha's hunting skills needed to be spoken of. Historia, while still Queen, had to put her focus into working with Marley, leaving her unable to help much with these civil matters.

Hange and the rest of the speakers at the meeting took a few moments to collect their thoughts and gather an understanding from everyone. All of them spoke in soft whispers, Hange mainly being the primary one brainstorming the matters of the meeting.

Finally, after getting a few firm nods from the representatives of the walls, she hummed softly in response, before walking up to the center of the crowd, standing upon the fallen ruins of the fountain. Like her other comrades that had faced the threat of the Titan head-on, she had worn a long green cloak, with the wings of freedom directly sewn onto her heart. Beneath the symbol were a few medals that she had earned in her time as a commander. This of course; didn't mean much to her.. and she avoided wearing them as much as possible... however, she needed to show these metals to her citizens. As it was a form of proving her knowledge of social matters. It was a way of citing her knowledge and assuring those who would take her ideas hesitantly. She gathered the chatting crowds' attention with a loud whistle, before standing tall as she waved over their attention.

Finally, she stood firm with her hands behind her back, holding her head high as she allowed them a few moments to dial down.

"Welcome all, citizens of Paradis. We apologize for the sudden call to this meeting.. but we have been met with dire conflicts that have left us all to discuss some sort of method to move forward." Hange began, her voice booming through the silent cloud. She then stepped to the side, motioning her arm straight out, pointing her hand towards the other representatives.

"Here with me to speak on this very matter, is a representative for each wall, who will have the right to come in at any moment and speak on behalf of their people, namely their villages."

"We have Father Sannes, who will be representing the people of Wall Sina.. Flegel Reeves, who will be representing his people of Wall Rose… and Armin Arlert, the one who took down the founding titan.. Representing Wall Maria. We ask that if any of you have something to say that hasn't been discussed by these representatives.. to do so in an organized manner, and only after we explain our plan moving forward." Hange continued to explain, her eye panning over the crowd of people, immediately noticing a sense of unease amongst them, causing her body to tense slightly.

Armin stood beside Flegel, wearing the same long coat with one large medal pinned under his wings of freedom. It was something given to him in such good light… but it had been as if he was wearing Eren's head tied to his clothing like some decoration. It pained him, but Hange had taught him well in terms of his representation of the people, especially since his claim to Eren's fall. He kept silent as Hange spoke, keeping his eyes trained on the crowd before him. He noticed the unease amongst them, and immediately trained his eyes to find Mikasa, feeling his body visibly relax when he had seen her riddled amongst the other civilians. He blinked softly, swallowing the massive lump forming in his throat.

The crowd remained mostly quiet, apart from some murmurs and whispers. It was hard to make out what they were saying, but there were some doubts and disagreements already occurring between the people. Finally, a resident of Trost spoke up.

"Rumor has it you all have a plan for the winter!" He stated, unable to hide the anxiety from his voice. "What if we have an early winter?" a woman from Sina questioned.

"There isn't enough deer to hunt on our side! We've been living off chipmunks! What's the plan?" A man from Shiganshina asked. "I have five children! How can I possibly feed them all this winter?!" a frantic woman from Trost demanded.

Once they began expressing their concerns, it seemed like a dominion effect, a random resident voicing their concerns led to another.

"What about our alcohol supply?" An older man from Stowess asked, instantly angering several other people. "Alcohol?!" One yelled, absolutely mortified. "Are you shitting me?! That isn't a priority right now"! A man from Trost scolded.

"It'll be a priority when everything goes to hell!" the man argued, doubling down on his ridiculous question. As their voices raised and got louder, Mikasa felt her body begin to tense up as her mind very suddenly flashed back to Eren's face, back when they were much younger and still in the Cadets.

'Get your shit together, Mikasa! You were given a direct order! Stop being so selfish!' His aggressive voice echoed in her ears, as Mikasa could feel her body starting to shut down again, the yelling sounding increasingly louder, echoing Eren's voice in her mind.

She had to hold herself back from covering her ears, struggling to control her breathing as she lowered her head, her distressed look visible to Armin though, as she was in the front row.

Armin noticed the shift in Mikasa's demeanor, his eyes widening a bit as he quickly realized the amount of distress she had been in. At first, he simply believed that it had been the massive crowd she was surrounded by, as it had been a while since she had faced such massive social groups after they had settled in their home here. But he suspected it was something deeper, as he also recalled how much Eren used to yell at her. And how much that would anger and frustrate him.

Suddenly, Armin stepped forward, placing himself in front of Hange as he glared into the audience.

"ENOUGH!" His voice boomed loudly, louder than he had ever imagined he was capable of doing. He allowed the arguments to die down, his voice lingering in the air for a moment as he watched all of their eyes fall onto him.

"We cannot answer your questions if you do not let us speak. Let us explain, then we will be open for questioning." Armin called out into the silent crowd, carefully backing away, this time firmly standing beside Hange.

"Right, Thank you, Armin," Hange said sternly, staring at him with a side eye as she kept her head forward. Hange then stood tall again, this time carefully pacing across the ruins, allowing her voice to properly be heard amongst all corners of the crowd.

"Now then... Yes, we have come up with a plan for the upcoming winter ahead of us. As most of you may know, our methods of trading have been worked on under the reign of Queen Historia. However... with the world still in turmoil from The Founding Titans genocide, a lot of other islands are facing the same crisis as we are, and will not trade with us until we can provide a specific quota that would be of their interest." Hange had mostly been referring to Marley, but she knew that the name had been one of bitter descent, and the mention alone could send the entire crowd in total disarray.

"As you all are aware, we are limited on our rations, and at this rate, we will overhunt the land within the first month of winter, and half of us will starve by the time the soil thaws for our crops to grow. It's a bleak outlook I know... but we have spent many sleepless nights perfecting our best method to moving forward." Hange paused for a moment, looking to Armin with a firm nod of her head.

"Before anything, women and children as well as the elderly are prioritized, and they will be provided for before anything. As a result, they will not have to follow the methods provided, if proven that they cannot do so. From then on, we will then split everyone's rations and organize them under their wealth. Our richer folks who made it out of this with some sort of supply inherited down from them, will not only hunt for them... but split this supply amongst those who are struggling the most. We prioritize our most poor citizens, then slowly move our way up the ranks." Hange explained softly, glaring towards a few of the men who had still remained dressed neatly in the crowd, standing out like a sore thumb amongst the people.

"This has been the most foolproof method to properly provide with the number of mouths we now have to feed and the little hunting that will be successful in such cold weather. I understand it is hard to share inheritance amongst those beneath you, however... This is a crucial time for all of us to come together. If we continue to remain split, then we surely will not survive against the harsh weather coming ahead.. and you can kiss your families goodbye."

As the yelling finally quieted down thanks to Armin, Mikasa's shoulders slightly relaxed as she managed to compose herself, shooting Armin a thankful expression, her hand in a little fist over her beating heart. She looked so small in the crowd, and it was evident that this could quickly turn into one of her bad days. She took a deep breath, listening quietly to Hange, eyeing the crowd off and on, knowing that the residents of Wall Sina would not like this solution, but she knew that's all Armin and Hange could think of. It wasn't a bad plan either...but it relied on the people cooperating.

Flegal briefly confided with his people, before speaking up next.

"Trost agrees with Arlet's plan. It's likely the only choice we have, if we want at least most of us to survive the winter" He stated, thankfully not having any protest to the plan. Sannes however, was silent and had an irritated expression on his face.

"Have you gone off the deep end, Armin Arlert? Expecting my people to hunt? They have no skills or knowledge in how to do so! And share their riches? You expect us to take the clothes off our backs and give them to those...peasants?!" Sannes demanded. His phrase almost instantly created outrage from the people of Maria and Rose.

"You people of Stowess STILL think you're above us?!" a man from Trost demanded angrily. "Wake up, Pastor! Your people aren't any more important than we are!" a young mother from Shiganshina chimed in.

"I'd argue that we are, young lady! Our people have been closest to the royals for decades! We were in the innermost wall, protected! Of course we're above you!" An old woman spat back from Stowess. As the yelling increased, a man from Trost and a man from Stowess got so heated with each other, a punch was thrown and they began to fight each other. Armin had quickly grown overwhelmed by the amount of backlash from the crowd, his head turning as he met glances with Hange for a moment, both of their expressions ones of concern.

Mikasa felt herself tense up again with the much more violent yelling, but somehow she found some strength inside her and glared. She covered one ear with her injured hand and unholstered her pistol that she kept on her for protection, cocked the gun, and aimed it up in the air, firing it off. The loud gunshot got everyone's attention, women ducking for cover, men freezing in place as they finally quieted down.

Armin froze at the sudden gunshot, his eyes immediately falling onto Mikasa, concerned that someone had lost their rage and thrown a rogue shot. Unexpectedly, he was met with Mikasa being the holder of the weapon, watching as the smoke slithered from the barrel of the pistol she always kept on her. Hange naturally parted her lips to break up the fight verbally, but the loud bang of the gun had rung suddenly in the air, easily doing the job for her. As if she knew just who it was, Hange looked at Mikasa, nodding gratefully before she looked to Armin. She knew immediately that her plan had not been one the people agreed with, and after Mikasa naturally shined in with her immense strength, she knew they could be convinced.

"As far as I'm concerned, we're all peasants. Including the people of Sina. We're all equal. We're struggling to survive. If any of us were anything higher up than this, this meeting wouldn't even be happening. You people need to grow up. We all have to chip in, otherwise, this will never work" Mikasa's voice was firm, sounding a bit like her old self. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"I have a daughter…she's not even a year old yet…and I'll be damned if she starves while you bastards sit in your fancy homes all fat and happy for the winter. I'll be damned…" Mikasa growled dangerously. It was clear that when it came to her daughter and Armin, a flicker of the old Mikasa would peek her head out, even if it was rare.

Armin listened to her silently for a moment, her words suddenly inspiring a different approach to the whole thing. Once she had finished, Armin had centered himself in front of the crowd, gaining their attention again as his hardened eyes remained locked on them.

Armin would be able to provide the crowd with his immense smarts. Throughout their time together, Hange watched as they faced the harshest realities in their fight for humanity, down to losing the very curse that had built Mikasa into the strongest weapon against Titans and humans. The two of them had matured well, but Hange was pleased to see that not much had changed from when they were soldiers. Mikasa may have softened up with the new and very much welcomed domestic life, as well as being a mother, but she still was clearly capable of summoning her strength, even without her Ackerman abilities.

"Mikasa's right... A lot of us have children to feed... and we can all agree that we will do anything if it means that they get the proper rations to survive...To do that... we must all pitch in our efforts..." Armin began, allowing his voice to trail off slightly for a moment as he collected his thoughts carefully, strategically closing in on a proper plan within seconds... something he had learned back when he was with the scouts.

"We continue hunting for our families... accept whatever hunt is successful, we donate ten percent of our kill or harvest to the community rations. That's ten percent of our butchered meat... berries... and caught fish. Along with this, we provide pelts to those who are unable to prepare to warm their homes and can be traded as a form of currency to ensure that our merchants won't fall short. Once we have a good set of rations, we will then split it amongst everyone, prioritizing women and children and elderly first, and our medicines will go to the sick and injured." Armin explained firmly, allowing his advanced thinking to drive his words.

"This way, all of us are equally providing for each other, and no one is left segregated from another. Once the soil thaws, we take a few months preparing our crops and any remaining livestock we have... we then work all through the warmer months to prepare a stock. When autumn hits, we then throw all of our hunting and fishing into one rations pile and split it between everyone. This should help in prepping us for the next winter, and allow the animals to adapt to the immense hunting needed to provide for our people.."

The crowd had remained quiet, listening to Armin. Flegal frowned over at Sannes, crossing his arms. He was expecting the pastor to come up with some other insane argument, and he was prepared to counter it. Mikasa holstered her gun, also watching Sannes and the people of Sina. She put on a strong face, but internally she could feel her body attempting to shut down again. It was taking all her mental energy to keep herself composed and collected. She had been dealing with random flashbacks throughout the day...and she was doing her best to ignore them, given the meeting today. But it was getting increasingly hard.

Sannes was quiet for several seconds before finally he sighed. "Very well. If that's how it must be." He finally agreed, much to the displeasure of his people, all of them mumbling angrily to each other, shooting glares at the residents of Rose and Maria. There was still tension in the air, but it seemed the three groups had come to a fragile agreement.

"Is there anything else we should be made aware of, Arlert?" Sannes questioned, sounding increasingly impatient and irritated with the situation. Mikasa shot him a glare, getting tired of hearing his mouth. She swallowed hard, watching Armin worriedly.

Armin seemed to notice the impatience within Sannes's words, glaring softly as he trained his focus on him, allowing his glare to darken as his eyes narrowed. He held his hands neatly behind his back, at first ignoring his question as he turned towards the crowd again, this time noticing the angry mumbles of his people, causing his limit to snap. Finally, he turned towards Sannes again, cocking a brow as he studied the impatient look on his face.

"It is imperative that I remind you of the law, Sannes. In the moment of crisis, our duty as scouts is to protect humanity at any cost. This is as good a time as any, and we do have the right to go door to door to those we deem not providing enough towards our rations... and punish them properly for threatening the goodwill of the people of Shiganshina." Armin's words held a dark threatening tone to them, his glance remaining firmly trained on Sannes, noticing the fear rising within him.

"You and your people should tread forward very carefully if I were you..."

"That being said.. this warning goes out to all of you. It is our job to provide for the people of Shiganshina, and we cannot risk losing the lives of others simply because you wish to hoard your rations. I will put my most trusted soldiers to the job of organizing the donations and preparing for the winter months. The sooner you get involved, the easier this will all go. Take the time and study what ten percent of your rations will be, and remind yourselves how to properly butcher the meat so we are provided no more or no less than ten percent of each kill. Come together as a community built upon ruins, and continue to provide for your comrades. With that being said before we have any more conflicts... The meeting is dismissed. I will be in my office here in the town square open to any questioning for the next week." Hange concluded, jumping off of the ruins of the fountain, with Armin following close behind her, standing close to her side as the two of them exchanged a small conversation while the rest of the crowd began to scatter, going their own ways.

Mikasa exhaled, relieved it was over as she went over to Armin and Hange. She had that familiar, darkened, and spaced-out look in her dark blue eyes, they seemed nearly identical to the day she had her breakdown in their bedroom and she seemed eager to go home and get away from the crowd and all the people. All of it just felt so constricting, and it was even getting hard to breathe. Truthfully, anyone could see she wasn't mentally well when she got in these states. She was quiet, gripping Armin's hand weakly, and kept her head down, finding looking at her surroundings was too overwhelming.

But even in this declining state, Mikasa still wanted to be a supportive wife to Armin. She squeezed his hand gently.

"You did amazing, darling" She assured him softly, knowing he had doubts about his plan, and how he would lead their people in general. Slowly, the crowd vanished, as people went about their day in opposite directions. With how Mikasa was feeling, she was already trying to frantically think of how she wanted to go about picking Carla up. She didn't want her daughter to see her like this...but she knew they had to go home eventually.

Armin read Mikasa's tension, looking towards her as he frowned softly, squeezing her hand gently in his silent reassurance. He moved himself closer to her, pressing his body against hers as he nodded slightly. Through everything that he had been fighting for the past few days, he knew just who would be right there by his side, doing what she could to assure him of his doubts.. despite fighting her mental torture.

It was one of the many things he loved about her.. but recently, it had been a growing concern. Armin had worried that this strong supportive front she put before herself was a method of coping, shutting down the hard emotions that she had to face to properly grieve the loss of everything in her life. This thought had been growing increasingly harder and harder to ignore, but Armin knew better than to push any of her limits right now... the world she was now facing was a terrifying one, and she had to break a habit that had been hammered into her clear from when Eren told her to fight.

"I appreciate it, love.. I just hope that this will help us through the harsh winters... I can already tell on the wind that we're going to have a cold one." Armin responded worriedly as he looked towards the remainder of the crowd, watching as a few members of different walls gathered to discuss the new plan with each other. Most of these discussions were heated, and Armin could feel the pressure weighing down on him. He heaved a heavy sigh, turning his focus towards Mikasa again, attempting to distract his racing mind before he had a proper moment to collect himself.

"Honey..would you like me to go get Carla while you go home? I can send Hange with you so you're not alone." Armin suggested as he tried to avoid anything that would call out her weakened state. His eyes turned to Hange who had been finalizing some details with the rest of the representatives. The two glances met, and Hange immediately nodded in understanding.

Mikasa snapped out of her moment of being overwhelmed, feeling a sense of assurance and comfort from Armin as he grounded her and brought her back to reality a bit. She nodded quietly, much preferring that idea.

"Y...Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, love..." She replied, her voice sounding numb but broken at the same time. She followed Hange quietly, as the two women left the fountain and had to walk down a cobblestone street to reach their mounts. The heated discussions continued among residents, but Mikasa managed to drown them out, as they continued towards the horses.

Armin nodded softly towards her, looking towards Hange as she approached. Carefully, he moved to place his hand on her chest, causing her to stop while Mikasa slowly began to walk off. When they were alone, Armin's worrisome eyes turned towards Hange, as he frowned softly. He held a pleading expression against his features, and something within him had been haunting him, practically drawing him to tears.

"Please watch over her Hange... she's going through so much right now..." Armin begged softly. Hange blinked softly in confusion but nodded carefully before she gently patted Armin's back, reassuring him before she moved to catch up with Mikasa.

At first, she hadn't fully comprehended what Armin's words had meant, and she pushed it towards the back of her head while the two girls had walked in silence. Hanges mind had been entirely distracted, her focus trained towards the plan she now had to organize into place. She was in control of the well-being of a lot of people's lives, and it had been overwhelming for her... but she knew that she was the only one well enough to handle the task after the final battle in the rumbling. Everyone who would take her place... had been on the frontlines of the battle, and none of them had seemed to come back the same. She frowned at the thought, internally beating herself up for not fighting more to follow them into the battle and put an end to Eren herself. She sighed, figuring there was no need to allow the thought to haunt her for the time being.. she had more pressing matters to attend to.

As they walked, Mikasa stopped short, recognizing something. She glanced at a space, where a house clearly once stood but has since been long torn down. There were piles of rubble, and a few wooden planks here and there, but it was mostly destroyed. But even in its most destroyed state, Mikasa instantly recognized it. Briefly, she saw a flash of what it used to be. A completely intact cottage, the kitchen window opened behind the sink, as a child version of herself and Eren ate stew at the table while Grisha Jaeger got ready for work. And Carla stood at the sink, washing dishes and talking quietly to her family.

It was a peaceful flashback, but it was nearly instantly replaced by a flash of the destroyed home, the large boulder flattening most of it, and heavy debris collapsed on the ground. The woman Mikasa had grown to see as her second mother...pinned under the heavy debris. The nearby stomping of the approaching titan, as Mikasa's little hands gripped the extremely heavy debris, pulling up with all her strength but unable to even budge the heavy object. Her little hands and fingers started to get sore, cut, and bruised from trying so hard, and her little body exhausted itself trying to just lift the debris, even just an inch. She could hear Carla's frantic voice, urging Eren to take Mikasa and get somewhere safe, she could hear Eren yelling at her to try harder to lift the debris.

'HURRY UP MIKASA! HELP ME LIFT THIS!' His voice was loud, glaring at her and pushing her.

'I'm trying!' Her child voice echoed in her ears, as she strained, but despite how hard she pulled, she just wasn't strong enough. She couldn't save the woman who took her under her wing, raised her as her own...and whose only worry at that moment was ensuring her children's safety. It made Mikasa sick, as she felt an increasing nausea, as she began to hyperventilate, standing there and staring at the wreckage, only seeing the flashback.

Hange turned her head to strike up a conversation with Mikasa, only to be met with her lack of presence beside her. She tensed, immediately pausing in her path and rushing back to find her, her eyes scanning around the crowds as she frowned anxiously.

Quickly, she was able to find Mikasa frozen in front of the ruins. At first, she was unable to understand her purpose for stopping.. but the moment she saw the crushed look in her eyes while her chest continued to hyperventilate, the realization struck her like a rock to her chest. Immediately, she approached her from behind, gently placing her hand on her shoulder, hoping the small gesture would catch Mikasa's attention. She watched the back of her head anxiously, frowning softly as she watched the weight of her anxieties crash down on her. Suddenly, the memory seemed to connect, and she remembered the exact event that had brought up their position in the scouts, and exactly why they were orphans. The dots had connected quickly before she gently pulled herself closer to Mikasa, wrapping her arm around her front before leaning her head against hers.

"Mikasa..." She whispered in her ear.

Mikasa blinked, her body slightly jolting as she startled. She was falling so deep into the flashback, that she hadn't even felt Hange place her hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at her friend, taking a moment to try and slow her breathing. She shook her head, placing a hand on her head. She didn't have a headache, but her head felt like it was spinning a million miles an hour as she struggled to bring herself back down to reality, fighting to block out any more flashbacks.

"S...Sorry Hange...I spaced out" She explained quietly, her voice slightly shaky.

When the two women returned to the cabin, the ride back was mostly silent as Mikasa faced her internal battle. It was taking all her strength to keep from any past images or voices filling her mind. After housing the horses, Armin immediately rushed to the front door to meet the two of them, his features laced with worry as his wide eyes darted between the two of them. Hange shook her head sadly, confirming Armin's suspicions, but warning him that she needed her own time to cope through the newfound trauma she now had to face. That evening, Hange had decided to stay and help out Armin with the chores around the house, possibly preparing a small meal that could get them through the week, noticing Mikasa's declining health state. Armin had taken the time to get some much-needed rest, laying down in his bed as Carla slept soundly against his chest, snoring softly as she nuzzled her cheek against his front. Hange had taken on the task of laundry, training her focus on the sheet she was hanging up, humming a soft tune to herself. She had found herself distracted from the meeting prior, finding her mind in some sort of fog as she continued to pick out the numerous flaws within the plans... proving to herself that she was not the one to take risks, unlike Armin.

After all of this time, she had wondered why Erwin had allowed her to take on the title of commander, especially with someone like Armin who could have taken the task much easier. It had been one of the numerous things she had regretted in her life and something that had affected her more than she would even like to admit. She lowered her head, forcing herself through the heavy feeling in her heart as she moved to hang up more laundry, frowning softly as she felt a gentle breeze brush through her hair.

After bringing some sheets out to hang on the laundry line to dry, Mikasa sat down on the end of the porch, her legs feeling increasingly shaky as she watched Hange hang the sheets. She watched her older friend, and in her mind, Hange seemed to flash to Carla briefly...as an old memory seemed to randomly return, after years of not thinking about it.

It was so long ago...on a warm summer day. It had only been a month...maybe two after Eren and Grisha had rescued Mikasa and brought her home to Shiganshina. A 9-year-old Mikasa was doing something similar to her present self, sitting down and watching Carla hang up laundry on the line. She had mostly been quiet her first several weeks with the Jaegers, naturally traumatized from everything she went through. But something had compelled the mute child to suddenly stand up. She walked over, and slowly leaned forward, pulling one of the towels from the laundry basket and holding it up politely to Carla. Carla blinked, surprised since this was the first time she had seen the poor child do anything other than eat, sleep, and follow her son around like his shadow.

"Why thank you, dear.." Carla gave a kind smile, taking the towel from Mikasa and clipping it to the line. Mikasa looked down sadly, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before finally talking.

"I used to...help Mama with laundry.." Her voice was small and timid, and the sound of it broke Carla's heart. She stopped hanging laundry and turned her full attention to the little girl.

"Sweetheart..." Carla moved the basket out of the way and knelt down at Mikasa's eye level. She gently straightened Mikasa's scarf and brushed her long black hair out of her face lovingly.

"You understand that you have a home here, right honey?" Carla asked, her voice soft. Mikasa gave a small nod, her tiny fist gripping the front of her scarf tightly.

"And I understand, no one can replace your mom or dad...but please just know, I'm here to be whatever you want me to be. A big sister, an aunt, or even a mother" Carla assured her gently with a warm smile. She wanted the young girl to not feel pushed, but also to be assured. In all honesty, Carla adored Mikasa. She was the daughter she always wanted. But she also knew not to push the traumatized child.

Mikasa remained quiet for a few seconds, giving another small nod as Carla stood up. She went to start hanging clothes again, when Mikasa gently gripped her apron, tugging on it lightly. Carla blinked, looking down.

"Mikasa?" She asked gently. Tears were sparkling in Mikasa's eyes, as she wrapped her small arms around Carla, clinging to her tightly. Carla's eyes softened, as she knelt down and hugged Mikasa close, snuggling her and stroking her hair.

"It's okay sweetheart, it's okay...you're safe.." Carla soothed gently as Mikasa cried quietly.

Mikasa seemed to somehow snap back to reality, not even realizing during her flashback she had wandered off the porch and had walked a little closer to Hange, but not by too much. If it wasn't for her eyes being open, one would have thought she was sleepwalking. As she watched Hange hanging the laundry, she seemed to almost shift into Carla, and it was all needed to push Mikasa over the edge. The minute she snapped back, she felt herself overwhelmed with emotions as tears began to flood her eyes. Mikasa covered her mouth, trying to muffle a sob as her shoulders trembled and she squeezed her eyes shut, the tears continuing to fall. All she could think about as a child was how badly she wanted her mother...but now as an adult...she just wanted either of her mothers...Carla or Akane Ackerman. But they were both gone...she would never get to see them, hug them, or hear their voice again.

It was all too much for her, as she knelt down, her knees feeling increasingly shaky and weak as she sobbed into her hand heavily. Her tears seemed to pour out of her eyes and onto the grass. She hugged herself, leaning forward a bit, her long hair hiding her face slightly. It was becoming evident fast that while Mikasa had trauma with Eren...at the very least..she had more closure with him. She never got closure with her mother or with Carla...she never even got to say goodbye to either of them. And that alone was tearing Mikasa apart inside.

Hange hadn't noticed Mikasa's presence until a small sob left her, causing Hange's head to shoot up and look towards her, watching as she collapsed to her knees, crying into her hand. Some instinct in her forced her to drop the clothes that were in her hand, rushing to her aid as she practically slid on the grass in front of her, moving to wrap her arms around her tightly.

Naturally, after all of these years of watching these three orphans grow up, she had grown a mother-like bond with them... but she hadn't realized how much it seemed to connect her and Mikasa. From holding her close when Armin had been dying before her, restraining her body as she felt her crush and her screams echoed throughout the rooftops... to helping her face the hard pregnancy of her daughter, not to mention the birth, and helping her understand her departure from Eren... she had neglected to understand just how much she had loved the girl as if she was her own.

The realization struck her hard, as tears began to form in her eye, her head lowering as she moved to hold her tightly against her chest, allowing her to silence her cries in her embrace.

"Mikasa... hey... it's okay... you're home sweetheart..." A new motherly tone had run off of her words like soft honey, her voice soft as she gripped onto the back of her shirt.

Mikasa leaned more into Hange's arms, her newfound softer tone of voice soothing Mikasa as she fully leaned sideways against Hange, her knees remaining bent as she naturally moved into a more fetal position, sobbing heavily and covering her face, tears streaming down her cheeks. As she cried, her voice came out broken.

"I couldn't save her...I couldn't save either of them...I wasn't strong enough...I never even got to say goodbye..." She sobbed out, letting her emotions pour out, wishing that day she could have done something.

Slowly, Mikasa's hands fell from her tear-soaked face and gripped Hange's front tightly, burying her face against the older woman's chest and sobbing heavily. She couldn't stop thinking about her mother, or Carla and it was becoming all too consuming. If she had not stood there frightened in that cabin, could she have saved her mother? If she had just been a little stronger, could she have saved Carla? If she had...for just once in her life...not followed Eren...could she have gotten Carla out of the house before the boulder hit it? Countless scenarios were playing in her head of things she could have done, should have done.

"I miss them so much...why couldn't I save them..?" Mikasa cried out, gripping Hange's front tighter as her body began to shake. At the very least, it wasn't as violent as her first breakdown, she wasn't trying to hurt herself or screaming...but the tears just wouldn't stop.

Hange felt her tears roll down her cheek as she gripped onto her tightly, nuzzling her head against hers. Other than rumors and reports, Hange hadn't entirely understood what had happened that day, and the realization of what Mikasa was forced to do in such a moment of crisis... shattered her. Never before had she seen one of her strongest warriors so broken had given her a harsh reminder of what exactly brought them to the life they had lived now. Years of heartbreak and hatred, while everyone around them had fallen to the Titans or the sadistic methods of war, bringing each one of them closer.. but at what cost? She heaved a shaky exhale, tightening her embrace around Mikasa as she continued to allow her to cry in her chest.

"Mikasa honey... you were just a little girl... you did not know any better and no one ever held that to you... they watch over you every single day, and they see the strength you have to have to fight through all of this.. especially now." Hange continued to reassure, gently cupping her face before she used her hand to brush her bangs from her shattered face, using a finger to dry her eye as she glanced down at her. Hange gave her a small proud smile, recognizing just how hard her fight had gotten after she had lost her Ackerman abilities, and just how much it had taken out of her as she continued to face the hardest emotions a girl had to face all at once.

"Do not blame yourself for being a kid... that little girl was petrified honey... remember how hard she fought to get to where she is today. I know they are all so proud of you, and you will find your closure... but you have to allow these tears to fall... pain cannot heal unless we allow ourselves to break every once in a while."

Mikasa's hyperventilation slowly started to ease as gradually, as the minutes passed, her tears slowed down. She took serious comfort from not just Hange's words, but her motherly voice.

It was a side of Hange that Mikasa only briefly saw all those years ago when Hange had helped her come to accept Armin's death on those rooftops in Shiganshina. But this was different, even compared to that. There was a much more gentle manner to it, and it's this exact motherly comfort that Mikasa so badly needed during this time. Armin was doing all he could as her partner, but Mikasa needed more...with all her trauma and PTSD it was a miracle she hadn't completely gone over the deep end to the point of no return.

As her crying slowly quieted down, Mikasa opened her eyes slowly, before gently pulling herself out of Hange's arms, but remaining close to her. She wiped her soaked, red eyes as she placed a hand to her chest. Her heart was beating fast, and her hands were still shaking. She hung her head low, before finally working up the strength and finding the words to speak.

"I...want to go see them...my parents...I haven't visited their graves...ever...I owe them that..." She confessed, her shoulders still trembling. Blinking some more wetness from her eyes, Mikasa looked at Hange weakly, before leaning her head forward and pressing it against Hange's shoulder.

"T...Thank you Hange..I'm...I'm sorry...I know...Armin has so much on his plate..and I don't want him to ever think he's not enough..." She weakly rambled a bit, wiping her eyes again, remaining close to Hange.

Hange nodded softly, looking down at her as she listened to her words softly, bowing her head in understanding. She reached her hand out, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder, she allowed Mikasa to raise her head, their glimpses meeting as she allowed her warm smile to fall upon her lips.

"Armin does all of this for you, he works day and night to provide a good life for you and Carla. Through everything... he knows that you're going through a hard time, and he knows that it isn't going to take just him to help you through this. Our strongest warrior now needs an army, and like you stood happily on our side and fighting endlessly.. it is now our time to dedicate our hearts to you. None of us.. including Armin, would trade the world for that. " Hange explained, brushing her hand through her hair as she looked towards the cabin.

"You and Armin should go visit them, bring them some of their favorite flowers, and catch them up on what they missed. They'd love to hear about their granddaughter and son-in-law. It might provide you some much-needed closure.." Hange suggested softly, smiling down at her as she embraced her close again.

Her motherly tone and reassurance had fallen naturally to her, almost as if she had prepared for her life for the very chance to be able to be this to someone. She had watched so many people fall in her time as a section commander, and it had gotten harder and harder to grow closer to people... but this was the one thing she had wanted for herself.. was to be able to provide the love and shelter that mothers had provided. The two sat in silence for a moment, allowing the clouds above them to float peacefully across the blue sky. Hange's head tilted back as she watched them, her embrace remaining tight against Mikasa.

"I'm here for you Mikasa... we all are... whatever you need me to be... need me to do... I'll be right there... all you have to do is call my name." Hange expressed softly, running her hand down the curve of her back.

Mikasa leaned her head weakly against Hange's chest again, she nodded weakly appreciating her words. It was something she had to do. She had gotten so caught up...with everything. Eren, the Survey Corps, the Scouts, and then everything with Marley and her daughter...she never truly got a chance to go see her parents, the home she grew up in...things just got so busy...No...it was more than that. It was just...too painful. Anytime Mikasa considered going, asking for leave from Levi to ride there...she would choke up and not be able to follow through with it. But her heart knew she had to do this. She wasn't sure if she would ever find closure if she didn't.