Alright kids. Have I ever told you about the first time your mama met Uncle Bowdaar?
We were on Nar Shaddaa at the time, doing our first delivery for Aunt Risha. She had some special beastie that she had captured and was delivering to Drooga the Hutt. The problem was, Drooga wasn't just some normal Hutt. He had this big old pleasure barge, kind of like a ship that sailed around Nar Shaddaa and visited all the sites, without ever leaving the planet. It was one big party, with all sorts of drinks and food and music and dancing and everything you can think of.
Sounds fun! I wanna go to a party like that.
Hoo, no, that is NOT happening. None of you are allowed to go to any Hutt parties EVER until you're at least 25. And then you have to bring someone along to watch your back. That was my job. I watched your Mama's back.
Did she like the party?
Well, we weren't really invited. You see, we went to the barge and we had to wait to ask permission to see Drooga. While we were waiting off to the side, this big group of Kaleesh showed up and got escorted in to see the Hutt. We followed along, because, well, we were curious and nobody said we couldn't, you know? So we get in there, and there's this ginormous wookie standing in front of the hutt, and the Kaleesh are facing off with him like there's about to be a fight, six on one.
Well, I was never one to sit back and watch a bunch of bullies gang up on someone, and your Mama never liked watching a fight if she could help smooth things over. She's a real smooth talker, your Mama. So she popped up right quick since things were getting dicey.
"Hold, you hutt-slaying scum!" the first guy said. He started going on about how he was coming to finally destroy the wookie and your mama interrupts him.
"Six on one hardly seems like a fair fight," she said. Well, the Kaleesh called your mama a very unkind name and said that the wookie was gonna rip her arms off as soon as look at her, but the wookie...
It was Uncle Bowdaar!
Yeah, kids, it was Uncle Bowdaar. He told her that we didn't have anything to worry about since we weren't his enemy. Remember that, kids. It's a good idea to try to avoid making enemies, especially of a wookie. So the Kaleesh started yelling battle cries and shooting, and your Mama dropped her portable shield and ducked right down out of harm's way as I started putting down some covering fire with Sparkles, a genuine antique WESTAR-18 bolt pistol with a polished dallorian alloy exterior. Uncle Bowdaar pulled out vibroblade and started tearing through them like a krayt dragon devouring a herd of banthas. He didn't even get shot once!
Well, Uncle Bowdaar was very grateful that your Mama and I had tried to help. He explained that he was...WORKING for Drooga to pay off a debt, fighting to entertain the Hutt. Drooga wasn't very pleased that we interfered with his fight, but your Mama managed to convince him that we'd given him a better show, and wasn't it more interesting anyways to have a mysterious stranger come out of nowhere to join the fray. Luckily for us, Drooga agreed.
Anyways, we went off to do a job for Drooga in order for him to do the deal with Auntie Risha, and when we got back there was this nasty bounty hunter from Rogan the Butcher. He looked like a metal egg, all shiny metal armor and round head. I'm not sure what kind of alien he was, but he sounded like one of them pencil pushers on Coruscant, all uppity, like a protocol droid.
Well, Uncle Bowdaar wasn't about to let that man bully your Mama, not after she jumped in and tried to help him with those Kaleesh. No, the moment he sensed that that ugly old bounty hunter was bothering her, he jumped right up and stood behind her. I was happy to have him help me take care of your Mama, because, as y'all well know, sometimes trouble just finds her. That bounty hunter didn't stand a chance between the three of us.
When it was all over, Mama thanked Bowdaar for helping her, and from that day on, we were friends.
How did he end up joining Mama's crew?
Well, a few weeks later, after we'd managed to figure out a tiny little problem involving a Senator's daughter and the last female shanjaru beastie in the ENTIRE galaxy, we showed up at Drooga's to find Bowdaar about to battle a full-on Gundark! But Drooga had been a coward, no surprise. He was tired of Uncle Bowdaar killing everything so easy, so he poisoned Uncle Bowdaar! Well, me and the Captain just couldn't let that happen to one of our friends. Drooga tried to stop her, but she just climbed right over the fence and jumped into the arena, and of course I was right behind her.
It was a quick fight. Your mama threw every grenade we had at that monster, flash bangs and sonic grenades and even a few fireworks she'd pinched from Drooga's party. The guests were all oohing and ahhing and cheering and throwing flowers and ribbons and party hats down at her while Bowdaar and I tried hard to keep that Gundark focused on us and away from her. Ultimately, it was just a little too slow and Bowdaar grabbed that beastie's ears and with one quick jerk--! He ripped them CLEAN OFF! PFFFT!!
Eww, Daddy.
Drooga was so impressed by your mama, he agreed to let Uncle Bowdaar leave with us, and we invited him to join us on the Skylark. He's been with us ever since. If you ever need help, kiddos, you just reach out to Uncle Bowdaar, and he'll take care of you, understand.
Understand.
Good. I love you, kiddos. Goodnight.