This is A Knight's Tale Fanfiction Only, other franchises will be included.
One mission after another no time to relax, or to spend quality time with his wife was making Hector more and more cranky, crotchety, and impatient, he was normally the one to want to discuss things and work through diplomacy, but in the last missions, the minute one of the wrongdoers even hinted a threat, he would jump in and bash their skulls in.
To Hiro it was funny that thanks to his increasing level of frustration and pure undeniable rage, they had to essentially switch roles, Hiro always played the bad cop and Hector the good cop when it came to negotiating with the idiots who tried to do harm on the innocent while they were near.
However doing nothing but one mission after another had made Hector so furious, so frustrated, so utterly for a lack of better terms irritated, that in these past missions, he was the first to opt for the kill all evil people and call it a day approach. Had it not been for Hiro, he would have cut down the number of lives so much in those merged realities that only Thanos would be proud of him, proud enough to call him his unofficial love child.
Something that made Hiro giddy since he often reminded him of that fact, even going as far as to say he was the only member of the Avengers whom the mad titan officers called lord, and some even called him brother. Something Hiro considered particularly funny since Hector had in another reality, actually gone out on several dates with Lady Death, and in at least one she considered herself his wife. But even Hiro was not dumb enough to mention this right in front of Thanos.
As he finally returned from one more mission where he was sorely tempted to nuke the entire damn reality into oblivion, Hiro and Hector sat down for their now traditional post-meal. "Hector what the hell gives, that guy only made one small crude comment and you wanted to say fuck it, let's burn everything to ash, what gives?"
Hector drinks from his mug and angrily smashed the cup on the table, "First he called my wife an ugly old hag, like you would not be pissed if he insulted your wife. Considering that in some realities you stole those women who later married you from me. Secondly, all I have been doing is going to one mission after another, sure my beloved sometimes appears but it is always in a situation where we are neck deep in shit. That is not the place for some quality time with the woman you love."
Hiro had this smug look on his face and smiled, "You just want to snog, why didn't you say so? Just tell me and I will take care of a battle or two while you and your ball and chain snog to your heart's content. I am not against you being romantic with your wife, so what were you expecting a peaceful place with little to no war going on, and you essentially living an almost peaceful life with your wife? How boring would that be."
Hector told his friend would have a vacation every once in a blue moon, "I just want to take my wife to a place where her life is not threatened and we get to enjoy some leisure time while enjoying each other's company. She is always swamped with work so much so even our daughters seeing how overworked she is, they been volunteering to help. I honestly do not remember the last time I took my wife to a nice place for a good meal and some dancing." Hiro called his friend an idiot, which is essentially saying he wanted to take his wife out on a trip with nothing but one date after another like they were a couple in their honeymoon phase.
"You two been married for who knows how long, seeing the number of daughters you got, I say for centuries, and you still want to pretend to be this lovey-dovey couple? Married couples don't date, and you couldn't be more married if you tried. Even if you do sometimes look at other beautiful women from time to time while going on our missions, don't you dare deny it? Some of them will drop whatever they were doing in their reality and come running to help you if you as much as whisper their names."
Hector reminded him it was his wife who had formed a harem, and she was the only that often added those women he mentioned into that harem every single chance she got to do so. "I don't want to call on all of them there, I don't even want to trouble my kids with this, I just want a mission where I and my wife can enjoy a tranquil and easy time for once, maybe even spend some quality time with her." Hiro laughed and said he sounded like an old man who was dreaming of the time he could finally retire from work and live off his retirement fund. Hector told Hiro he instead sounded like a punk who was so hungry for trills and attention, he would happily join in on a fight because it looked like it was fun.
This is even more ironic since in some realities Hiro was Hector's uncle. How could someone be his uncle when the person behaves more like an out-of-control teenager than he does is something he will never figure out, "I swear Hiro if you even dare to say that you are showing your flames of youth, I am changing your pajamas to green spandex and have a kid run at you while calling you Guy Sensei!"
That told Hiro that he was not kidding Hector needed a break, just from hearing him even mention the Green Beast of Konoha. "Alright I am sure your loving wife already heard you complain throughout our meal, so more than likely she got the message, Hector needs a fucking vacation or he gets in such a fool mood that his destroyer nature comes out to play. So relax, eat some ramen while you take your daily dose of chill pills, cause I know I want to have some freaking fun too, some that don't involve having the fate of an entire reality on our shoulders, something fun, like I don't know a fun sporting event, a reality where disputes are solved with major sports wouldn't that be fun."
Hector told him to be careful what he said otherwise they could end up in a merged reality where they have to pilot a giant walking mecha to fight another one in mecha-based gladiatorial combat. "Robot Jocks, merged with Gundam how the hell could I ever forget that, you got to admit the fighting was absolutely metal." Hector began to shake his head as he could no believe this was said by Hiro, then again he painted flames on the side of the Mecha they were piloting because Hiro said it would make the mecha move faster.
As they finished their meal, they heard that they were being summoned to the office, it seems no rest for the wicked or so the saying goes, they walked towards the office and he saw his daughters hard at work, Audrey was a little more quiet than usual like she was not in a happy mood. Something was happening that the girls did not want to mention and something that made the usually cheerful and friendly Audrey seem a little gloomy or melancholic.
"For your information yes, I hear everything anyone says in my realm, so of course I heard your complaints loud and clear husband, and yes I do agree with you we have not taken a proper vacation in some time." Hiro was surprised that their goddess would actually agree with what Hector said so easily, he figured that she would tell him there is no such time to go on any kind of trip, especially not a vacation considering those two pests were still out and doing horrible things in the multiverse.
"Goddess, as much as I would like for you and my friend to take a romantic vacation, there is the damage that Ziro and Zector can do in our absence. If I know my friend, he is not going to go on a vacation and leave me alone to do as I please. So both of us gone, those two will think they are lucky but all three of us gone, they will feel like they won the lottery or worse been given free rein to do as they wish." She quickly thought of what Hiro had mentioned to her and she was surprised that Hiro would give up the chance to go off and have fun.
"I know the damage that those two can do, but I also am aware that if we don't our mood will only get worse, and if you think my husband was in a bad mood, you clearly did not see how my daughters are acting, my mood is several times worse than their father. So for the preservation of the multiverse itself, we need that vacation, or else the situation will become so bad that we might destroy the entire multiverse just to be done with the constant headaches that come our way from having to manage it."
Hiro actually began to worry thinking that if Hector was willing to destroy an entire reality just because he was that pissed off at some of the stupid things they were doing, if his wife the goddess that they both served was just as angry, he did not doubt for a second she would want to destroy the multiverse completely and build a new one out of the ashes. "Well looks like we are all going to a pleasant and relaxing reality I know my boss and Hector sure as Hell are. I will make damn sure it is."
Two hours later Hiro was still working very hard and honestly, both Hector and his wife were getting pretty damn bored, so they both decided to pick a movie at random from the list of all movies ever created. It was a rather interesting invention, just one tap on the list and they could see that movie projected against a large wall in the office. Had a really good sound system so this gave everyone watching the whole movie cinema feeling.
Hector saw the title of the movie she picked and he cringed, but was not dumb enough to say a word about it. If they liked it good, and if they hated it, they would do most of the complaining even their daughters wanted to watch it with their parents, so it was more like a family movie night. Hiro was still hard at work looking for a reality where those two bastards would not or could not show up, and that it was a place where Hector and the Goddess could actually relax and have fun. The movie was called A Knight's Tale. Halfway through the movie, Hector felt like the name was misspelled, it shouldn't be Tale but rather Tail, cause the main character was an absolute jackass.
This guy was the sort of person he did not want to come within fifteen light years of his daughters, and in retrospect, his daughters had a different reaction to the film altogether, they simply could not stop laughing their asses off, the music, the whole snack vendor at a park, the entire feel that the peasants and even the nobles acted like they were the audience at a baseball game. They did dislike how the blacksmith lady was treated, they could count with their fingers when these guys actually thanked her for her efforts, and compared to the armor the main character wore before, the stuff he wore after she was done making it for him, was way much better.
The Goddess was so keen on keeping track of everything, some parts of the movie made no damn sense at all. First was how the mentor conveniently just happened to die in his sleep while wearing his armor. Never mind that one of the squires was savagely beating his master's dead corpse over the fact that they did not even manage to eat anything.
Only nobles participated since the tournament was for Knights, but the papers were made up by some idiot who had a compulsory gambling habit they never even questioned the validity of it, and the whole noble or royal title thing, was that real or not, or was the prince just using his position to get the guy out of trouble. She had no problem at all with the blatant cheating the villain was doing, let's face it, he was the villain, he was supposed to be a shitty character anyways.
Serket was not happy to hear her husband say that and thus she decided to do something about it, she found a universe that was based on that movie, and she quickly altered reality in that place, she took into consideration all the complaints that her daughters and husband had about the film, even her own. She decided that she could not leave the multiverse without anyone to watch over it however and she decided to call in a favor another goddess owed her. Athena was not happy with being asked to take care of something this massive, but once Serket told her that this was going to be a chance for her to rekindle her marriage with her husband, she accepted but said that this was way too much.
"Look Serket I am all in favor of helping you spruce up your relationship with your husband but to manage and keep all this in check by myself is just a bit too much, even for me. I am going to need some help to do this." She told her then ask Artemis to come and help her then, and if she asked why would she agree, tell her that she would get a dozen of those lemon meringue pies she likes so much. Athena says that it was basically bribing Artemis by taking advantage of her sweet tooth, and secretly she loved the idea of it.
"Alright, you, me and my husband we are all going on a trip, I found a reality that is based on the movie we saw and made it so that we can make the changes that we think would make that reality a hell of a lot better. So come on, let's get this vacation started, and you don't have to worry husband you will not be overworked at all, you and I will get plenty of time to relax and have fun, and yes I do mean that sort of fun."
She immediately decided to send her husband and Hiro into that reality, granted Hector would arrive sooner than when Hiro would be born in that reality. Just to make things easier her husband was reincarnated as Ector and he was born into a prominent knight family, he became rather well known since the King had decided to actually host tournaments where the knights would fight each other in different forms and these tournaments were some sort of sporting event that surprisingly had a major appeal by the general public, going as far as becoming major fans to these tournaments.
Ector and his wife had a couple of daughters who admired their father as he was a champion knight at the Joust part of the tournament. Little did they know that in a couple of days, a friend of their fathers would come to live with them, it seemed a young man by the name of William Thatcher was coming over to their home to become a squire for their father. "Dad why do you even want another squire, I don't know anyone that is as good at riding or wielding a lance as you do."
Ector laughed and told her that as much as he enjoys putting on a show for the people, even some of the smug nobles that bet against him, he couldn't do that forever, so he needed to train someone to take his role and compete when he no longer was able to. "Ages gets to us all girls, I am not as young as I once was. After this current tournament, I am going to focus on training someone to be as good as I am."
One of his daughters came up to him and looked at the small boat coming towards the pier in their home. "So who is coming to train with you father?" Ector smiled at his daughter and told him that an old friend of his by the name of John Thatcher. He is a friend of his from back before he became a squire.
"John according to this letter is coming over to have his son William become my squire, if he is anything like my friend John, he will be a handful, but mark my words I will make a knight out of that kid one way or another." He looked at his daughters almost excited to meet someone new that Ector decided to say something shocking to get them back to reality and away from the little fantasies they were daydreaming about.
"If you think of it, think of it like this, had John not asked me to accept his son as my squire, you would never have met the King and his son in person, and more than likely one of you girls would have to be my squire instead of John's son. So in a sense, them coming saved you from a lot of grief, pain, and work." One exclaimed that was not going to happen since when had there ever been a lady knight to fight in the tournaments?
Ector mentioned that every flower no matter how pretty or delicate has its thorns and as for a woman that can fight ask their mother how they first met. "To be a knight is not just about gender, it is about commitment, discipline, and loyalty. So yes my precious little flowers, there have been many strong and capable lady knights in the past, you would know one of them, since she retired from being a knight, to raise both of you."
Both girls were shocked to hear that their mother was such an amazing person that she was someone their father considered a powerful and skilled knight. "In truth, I met your mother as competitors in one tournament, we fought each other in three categories, sword, bow, and lance, she nearly defeated me in all three. That caused me to at first respect her, having fought against not only many knights but against the gender bias that being a knight seems to perpetuate. As the tournament progressed we spent time talking with and against each other, that is where I met your mother, fell in love, and we were married by the end of that tournament. I honestly thought that even if she managed to defeat me if I was married to her, I won something much more important than a simple trophy."
Just as he was done explaining that the boat they were expecting to dock finally did, John came towards Ector and gave him a big bear hug, "So very nice to see you, my friend, I have not seen you in what seems ages. These two seem to be your precious daughters. It is clear where they got their looks from."
Ector told him they were his precious girls and yes they were as lovely as their mother, "This is Tessa, and her younger sister Alexandra. Now where is the boy I been hearing about, my squire should introduce himself should he?" That is when a blonde boy around one year younger than Tessa finally stopped hiding behind his father.
He walked up to the boy and bent down to be on eye level with him, "So you are William, tell me boy are you that scared of me?" He quickly began to shake his head. "Good, you will be my squire from today onward, wouldn't you agree Your Majesty?" That is when both William and John realized there was another man there with a young boy the same age as William. "I do believe you are right, but I still wish to make them both Knights, right here and right now, but you did tell me you were against the idea of immediately knighting William, mind telling me and his father why?"
Ector looked at the boy, and decided to do that, "Your Majesty, the reason is that he is ill-prepared to handle the duties and responsibilities of being a knight, any true knight knows that combat is just a small part of what a knight should know. Anyone can use a spear, a lance, or even a sword, but that is not what makes them either nobles or knights."
The king began to nod his head as Ector said, "So that is why you said I could knight John, because according to you while not doing the duties of a knight, he was trained to be one. As a Knight they would one day join my forces, to defend England from invaders and others who wish to end my domain. So I will grant that, I will say his family has served mine for generations and thus achieved the status of nobility. So let us be done with that so that no one questions the legitimacy of William being either your squire or when he finally becomes worthy of being a Knight."
The King stood in front of John and told him to kneel. John did so without hesitation. "By the power vested in me by my throne and my royal status, I name thee, Sir John Thatcher" He did so by taking a sword from Ector and placing it on his shoulders. "Now stand Sir John one of the knights of the realm, may you serve me, the people, and our lands with honor."
The boy who was near the King began to smile and simply could not help himself, and said that was so cool. "Ah yes, nearly forgot to introduce you to someone, this is my son, Edward, as you can see he is given to speak his mind. Edward, you might not realize this but you and William are in fact, cousins. So do try to get along with each other."
Edward looked at his father and nodded, William had no idea that his family was related to the King at all, so he asked his father to explain how is he the cousin of the crown prince. John could not help but laugh as he said, "Very well son, let me explain to you my family once was nobles, and I once was squire of the same man as the Ector's father, we trained together and that is why we are such good friends. However, due to the actions of my grandfather, our family lost our noble status. He dared defy the orders of the king at the time. That is why my last name is Thatcher, I took your mother's maiden name after I married her."
Now Edward asked John what could be so bad that John's family would be punished this badly. "Since you requested it, I have no choice but to tell you, young prince. My grandfather was nice to most, but he was a mean drunk, he was ordered to stop drinking in excess, but he did not obey at all. He then promptly began to sleep with ladies of the night, went to brothels, and gambled. His actions were a disgrace to his status, and so the King in question decreed, that if the man was acting as if he was a mere pauper, then he should have the social status of one. And thus John's family lost their noble status. If one of his family accomplishes great things and brings back honor to his line, then his family status could be reinstated."
Edward smiled and simply said, "So that is why he wants to be a knight so badly, that he would take training from Sir Ector. Even I have heard the man is quite demanding and expects nothing but perfection from anyone under his command. Honestly cousin William, I don't know if I should congratulate you or feel pity for you."
One of the servants that worked for Ector decided to mention something, "You majesty that only makes John a noble, and which means his son is still very much a commoner, and that would prevent him from becoming a squire let a lone train to be a knight." The king understood what this servant was saying and some people might want to use that against his cousin and his son to get him disqualified in a tournament if it gives them a better chance of rising through the tournament results.
"I see, then from here onwards I decree the restoration of the Liechtenstein Line. They shall be recognized as such by the nation, nobles as the royal decree makes it so."