Suki woke up with a terrible headache. The smell of rice and eggs woke her, as the stomach growled hard. She rolled in the bed and saw the bottle of Sake, concerning her.
"What did I do?" She thought slowly sitting up, checking if the bottle was empty. She still had her clothes and the room was neat, so nothing bad happened at least.
She could barely remember the game they played, how most of the time Toph danced and sang along. The bottle rolled to the floor and her ears bled, as the crashing sound startled her thoughts.
Suki walked slowly, leaning heavily on the walls of the house to get out of the room, stepping out of it, she saw how Aang's room was already open and Toph was left also in the darkness, unsure if it was because she was still sleeping.
The lights in the room at first hurt, while her sight took time adjusting, Zuko was motionless in the chair, breathing slower than usual -or at least Suki saw it like that- with Toph eating hungrily.
"Morning! I thought you wouldn't wake up, I have been cooking with my sweetie for all of you. You were a mess last night!" Aang said a bit too high. Suki held her ear and softly caressed it to not be seen rude.
"Ha ha, thank you Aang! It reminded me of our late nights" She replied sitting down with a droopy smile, slowly trying to get the teacup. Katara appeared from behind and poured it, shaking a bit her shoulders in the process.
"Hi! You look terrible" She said kissing her head, making Suki giggle. She drank the tea, chamomile, and discreetly sneered at it. Her least favorite.
"Good morning Zuko" Suki whispered, with Zuko keeping still in his chair.
"Sparky has been like this, he feels humillated" Toph sneered laughing. "Do you want to know why?"
"Sure, what else do we have to talk about?" Suki smirked, eyeing Zuko who frowned annoyed.
"Don't"
"Zuko fell asleep on this floor" She pointed with her finger "And Katara was the one to found him, with a guest!"
"Political guest" Aang said as he served Suki her plate, while she giggled. She chugged her food, making Katara look a bit disgusted.
"It was so…"Zuko couldn't finish his sentence, instead sipping his tea "We should also be going out, it's is late!"
"What do you mean is late?!" Sokka screamed hurting his drinking buddies "It is early!"
"Shut up!" Toph screamed "My ears!"
Suki just held her head with both hands, feeling exhausted. Katara looked at the four annoyed.
"Did all of you just decide to get wasted before a really important meeting? Is this the future of the world?" She scolded them as the group just hung their heads, hurting.
"Don't be too hard on them! I'm sure they were just bored, we used to do that in the ship" Aang said hugging Katara, who smiled at the touch of the Avatar. "Let's just nurse them before we go out"
Katara sighed, looking at the awful fake smiles of her friends and brother. "Alright, I will not nurse Sokka, he is yours"
"Ohh c'mon sis! What happened to the water tribe loyalty?" Sokka whined as Suki threw him a napkin, who landed on his shoulder.
"Please keep your voice low" She whispered with a hurt face, he immediately apologized, sitting down beside her. Zuko's eyes immediately landed on the couple in front, his frown still visible.
"Are you just going to keep killing me with your stare?" Sokka asked as Zuko ignored him, Suki leaned on him.
"He is dazed off, he has stared to this area in particular because he fell asleep over there" She pointed turning half of her body, slowly. "And a guest saw him"
"Oh" Sokka snickered "The fire nation and its new traditions amaze me everyday"
"Shut up" Zuko came back and replied as his friends laughed "Suki, we should start to get ready"
"You haven't eaten anything" She munched some eggs as Toph laughed
"You haven't seen him eat, that's the whole reason Aang is on the kitchen" Toph gestured his belly, who was swollen from the alcohol and the food.
"Don't look at my stomach!" Zuko said angered while the gaang laughed. "I can't remember too much, I just woke up hungry and with her inspecting me"
"I didn't inspect a lot, it was obvious in the way you fell that you passed out first" Katara said in a matter of a fact, making the group laugh more.
"Alright firelord, let's get to work" Suki said feeling a bit better, standing up to wash herself. Sokka's soft grip on her wrist stopped her, the chill it sent through her body almost made her blush.
She hoped he wouldn't notice.
"Can you be my bodyguard next?" He said with puppy eyes, making her laugh hard. Katara and Aang laughed too, as Suki moved out of his grip and to her room. Zuko followed to his own, being the firsts ones to leave.
"How are you so sober?" Katara asked Sokka who ate almost the double of what Aang had originally served him.
"Easy, food" Sokka said with his finger raised in the air "And a lot of water: I drank and washed myself as best as I could"
"Huh" Katara doubted as she looked at Toph, who was the next less affected by the drink.
"That or you did something that tired you a lot" Toph suggested while Katara opened her mouth.
"Are you back with….?"
"NO. Not yet" Sokka answered quickly "I didn't do anything"
Toph's face contorted with confusion. "I do remember them getting out of the room together. Or was I too drunk?" She thought with a frown.
"Right…" Toph said with doubt, leaning her head on her hand. "Maybe I saw wrong"
Katara and Aang looked at each other with frustration
"You guys are like a bunch of teenagers…"
"Excuse me grandma, we are teenagers" Toph snapped with a grin
"WITHOUT control" Katara completed angered "Go back to your rooms and get ready"
"I am already ready!" Both, Sokka and Toph said
"Be presentable! We are sealing a deal" Katara replied more angered "Go put some perfume!"
"I think they are very presentable"
Sokka's eyes dilated at the sight of Electra by the front door, gracefully walking towards their table.
"Don't be too light on them, I want my friends to…"
"They will be fine" Electra continued, annoying Katara more. "A Beifong and a War hero, all of you already know each other"
"She has a point" Toph grinned, mentally noting that the voice probably was from the guest. She could realize that she was Electra by the way Sokka's heart had suddenly pumped fast.
"Well, let's wait for out other friends. Do you want to sit down?" Katara said rather harshly, making Electra and Aang raise their eyebrows in surprise.
"Sure" She said sitting were Zuko used to be, by Toph's side and across Sokka. "How are you doing?"
Sokka's mind was far in his thoughts, thinking of what she had told him in the cave
"You and I will never last"
"Do you like drinking games?" Toph suddenly said, taking Electra's attention "Because we did that last night. Lots of gruesome stuff, drunk"
"Nothing to serious I suppose" She replied with a soft smile. "Both of you seem complete" She looked at his eyes with malice. Sokka gulped, struggling with whatever he was feeling inside.
"Well I landed on a room, at least. Poor Zuko" Sokka said nervous, as Aang sat by his side, noticing how nervous he was getting.
"Are you okay?" He whispered as Sokka pinched his leg, making the monk squeak "Gezz, alright"
"The change from the cold is always well received, I hope I am also not a disturbance in this house" She said towards Aang and Katara. Aang bowed respectfully while Katara put on a fake smile.
"You are not, don't worry! You can always sleep with Katara, Toph or Suki"
Electra rose her eyebrow at the mention of Suki. Katara noticed this and waited for her to say something, but the older girl never said anything.
"Well this feels incredibly awkward" Toph said standing up "I should tell Bombshell and Sparky to hurry up"
"Let them be, we are majority anyway" Electra said "Some tea should serve to fill the silence if it is too uncomfortable for you" she smiled, making Toph shrug.
Suki waited outside Zuko's room, her heart racing. Being a bodyguard was hard, being a distracted bodyguard was a guaranteed dead in battle. She still couldn't shake off the thought of Electra and Sokka side to side, as a couple.
Not that it necessarily had to be romantic, but it still annoyed her. Suki sighed softly, humming a song from her childhood who helped her easy the mind before any change of grades in the Kyoshi Dojo.
"Something good and true, growing like a fruit ready to be juiced and produced…" She whispered, rearranging her fans on her belt, as memories flew in her head of how hard those used to be to her.
Maybe Suki really dreamt of having a family and being a mother, who shared space with a running dojo. She smiled at the suggestion and suddenly felt blue. "Not with Sokka anymore" She thought shaking her head.
"No what?" Zuko asked already by her side with a half-smile "This is the last one, don't worry" He said putting a palm on her shoulder. Suki looked up from her hands, with concern.
"I'm nervous, that's all" She posed a hand in her belt, readying to walk beside him. He squeezed it, starting to walk.
"We will be alright" He said with a side eye "Everything will fall into place, I'm sure"
The duo went back to the main room, were everybody seemed too quiet. They knew why. Electra turned to greet them, Zuko bowing with embarrassment and Suki just nodding with her head. Both poker faces were unreadable to everyone.
Except Toph of course, who immediately felt how Suki's heart stopped, Sokka's sped up even more and Electra's heartbeat got slower. She picked up her cup and sipped more tea, uncomfortable with everything around her.
"Are we ready to go?" Zuko asked as everyone agreed.
"Sure, Appa can carry us" Aang suggested as Appa moaned in the back. Electra's eye opened excited, a sincere smile appearing.
"Thank you so much! I've always wanted to ride a Sky Bison and doing it twice is marvelous" She said walking a bit too excited. Aang followed happy as Appa got closer to the door, lowering his tail so everyone could climb up.
Suki wasn't that excited, but it was the fastest way to getting there. They were already late.
"Aren't we a lot up there for you, buddy?" She talked stroking his hair. Appa denied it, licking her back to gesture her to climb up. "Alright"
"I'm so ready to be let down" Suki thought climbing up his tail.
Everybody had their sits. Toph was in between Sokka and Zuko. Katara and Electra were by the other side while Aang was in the pilot. It would be incredibly awkward for her to ask Toph to move, so she opted to sit by Zuko's side.
"Why don't you sit here?" Electra said patting her side, while Katara's eyebrow twitched annoyed. Zuko and Suki shared a look, he agreed, gesturing her with his head to go. Suki's face was still, walking until she took the place.
"Yip yip! It will be a really short ride" Aang exclaimed as Appa began flying.
Electra discussed some of the topics the Water tribe's were supposed to expose in regards the land they will own in this new city, while Toph tried her best to ignore they were in the air. Suki couldn't get her eyes off Zuko: Doing it meant she will fall again to the boy in front of her.
And she wasn't exactly fond of Sokka. Sitting by Electra was enough to sour her mood already, feeling his gaze on her was only making it worse. She focused a bit too hard, as Zuko sticked out his tongue to her, making her giggle.
Electra noticed it and smirked. Suki returned to her usual face. "Am I really avoiding Sokka or is seeing him making me calm?" She thought. Appa began descending and what felt like hours was over in 4 minutes that it took from the upper ring to the King's palace.
Her sisters were already waiting for her, escorting Zuko side by side as he descended from Appa's tail. Suki followed without letting Electra go first. It might have been rude but she was working.
Sokka huffed loudly, taking both girls in his arms to walk down together as if it was an event. It was to him, but reality often was worse than imagination. He never thought Suki would be supporting somebody else instead of him.
"She is working" Sokka thought seriously as the trio walked inside the palace, behind Zuko and the Kyoshi warriors. Toph and Aang walked as old pals behind them, not feeling the need to be protected.
They all waited in the common room before another guard gestured them to follow him. The multiple corridors and big exotic doors reminded Zuko his own place, not that he missed it, but he will miss having Suki by her side almost all day, every day.
It wasn't expected of me to be also in the big table. Karina knew it all along but I wasn't sure I was allowed until my girls surrounded Zuko and I.
I tried to keep my face as straight as I could, ignoring all of these new feelings inside me. I glanced were Katara, Aang, Toph, Sokka and her were waiting. All chatting amicably, while we waited in silence. Maybe we shouldn't have rushed our entrance, but I know how uneasy he gets when being unpuntual.
"Should we join them, firelord?" I asked Zuko, who shrugged. I bet he didn't want to get that close because of the incident in the morning.
And the incident in the north.
We soon joined them, I smiled politely again, something clearly unexpected as her focus shifted completely on me. Zuko was standing beside her and me, while I tried to get some conversation going with Katara.
"Are you excited?" I asked, as her eyes sparked joy, starting to talk about the new plans of restructuration in both tribes.
"Of course! I haven't been able to tell you in full detail but believe me, you would be so proud of seeing it yourself when you visit!" She smiled so big it was contagious
"Katara told me you were close with her. I now can see how much you have been an influence" I turned to see those icy violet eyes, examining my reaction with a smirk. I smiled and just nodded.
"I'm glad it rubbed on her, but she has always had it, since the day I met them" I gestured towards Aang and Sokka who were goofing with Toph. Children.
"Really? How was it? Sokka never told me how it happened" Was she feigning innocence? I'm not sure, her face was as unreadable as mine when on duty.
"Sure. They trespassed my island and we ambushed them, almost fed them to the Unagui until Katara defended his honor" I said looking towards Sokka, who suddenly halted when he saw us together "and the Avatar showed us he was, indeed, the last airbender"
Electra crossed her arms against her chest, relaxing her rigid pose. She looked curiously at me.
"She also showed Sokka a bit of Kyoshi training, and made him wear the uniform" Katara said with a smirk, looking at the boys who got closer to the conversation. I could see his nervousness.
He shouldn't be, we are not a couple anymore. Even if my feelings for him are still strong.
"But it helped me defeat the king of the guys who don't win" Sokka said hugging Zuko by his neck, he rolled his eyes and sighed. Electra laughed at that stupid joke.
I made that stupid joke. I glanced at Sokka with, apparently, a visibly shocked face.
"Are you alright?" Electra asked controlling her laugher "Oh. Yeah. Is your boss dad, right?"
"It's alright" Zuko said smiling and pulling Sokka's weight off him. "He did a good use of those skills, I suppose"
"You should have seen me! Right Toph?" Sokka joked again, making Aang and Electra laugh louder as Toph was close to flipping him.
"I should have, maybe one day you can teach me some forms?" Electra asked me. Oh no, how to refuse her without looking that bad?
"We will check on it" I replied "We don't usually teach foreigners"
"I'm sure the world is missing out on the Kyoshi philosophy" Electra said "It sounds awesome"
"It's more than just looking cool" I defended, she didn't seem to take it that seriously but hey, what did I expect?
Sokka looked at me with an annoyed expression. Did I upset him?
"Hey Electra, Sokka told me you taught yourself to fish and hunt?" Aang asked her, trying to flip the conversation. Interesting.
"He is giving way more credit than I deserve" She laughed at it, posing a hand in his arm "A close friend taught me so I wouldn't be so useless up there"
"Why didn't Sokka told me that?" Katara said slapping Sokka's head. He said a loud ouch and I couldn't help but smile. He kind of deserves it.
Zuko nudged me, I composed myself and kept on track of her story.
Why does it sound so familiar to me? No parental guidance whatsoever, lost love, making herself a name in a man's world. A princess in distress that somehow, has made her own rules.
I got déjà vu somehow. She was familiar.
"That's cool" Toph said, slightly punching her. "I wonder if you could hold on a fight?"
"That's a delusion" Electra said smiling "That's why I am looking for a teacher" She glanced at me and winked.
Is she flirting with me? Or am I just annoyed? It's not that far fetched since she kissed me that time on the festival. Should I ask her?
Well now I'm overthinking, Zuko nudged me again.
"Yes?" I ask annoyed. Oh, it's not Zuko.
"Are you alright? You seem out of it" Sokka asked me looking away. Of course he would try to check on me.
"I am okay, more nervous than I would like to admit" I reply putting a hand on my fan. Sokka smiles and leans down to whisper on my ear. When did he got so tall? It seems he had to shrink himself a lot.
"I bet, you were the mastermind behind the new city. Congratulations, Suks"
His glossy eyes and half smile confirms that I am probably blushing. Why am I still pinning for him? I gently smile back, my grip on the fan loosing itself. Looking back at us can't be that bad, can it?
"It's not official yet" I reply gulping the urge to hide my face.
"Don't hide it, we all know it" He says putting a hand on my shoulder. It feels so far and yet, so close. I would just have forgot about him if I wasn't so infatuated with him, damn it.
"Well, thanks. I see your sister and Electra would probably represent the tribes" I said trying to stop my cheeks from hurting. Was I smiling or gritting my teeth?
"Yeah, they are strong enough to deal with all of them." He replied with that goofy face.
How charming and how awful he looks. I adore it.
"Sokka, let's get ready" Electra interrupted us, just looking at both of us. She turned around and Sokka followed her tail, mouthing a "good luck, love" at me.
Shit, I hate hate hate hate hate you.
Maybe doing that wasn't the smartest thing to do but I couldn't help it. Maybe the relationship can be saved after all? If there is a way we both can be on the same place for a long period of time…it can help us heal and be good friends and, maybe, a couple.
Don't get high hopes Sokka, calm down. You are doing this for her, being a better man.
We will enter the main room according to the topics on the table to discuss. Kat, Electra and I are walking towards it, unsure what it meant to present all of the advances in the water tribe. After all, we are independent.
I can't help but focus on how Electra and Kat seem to have everything under control. No babbling, no badness overdone. They are being themselves and convincing everybody in the room that what they are doing is the way.
Should I ask my sister for some classes? That would be humillating, the next worse thing is spend all of my time with someone I'm clearly attracted but can't have any type of relationship. Or would have, if I haven't met Suki at all.
Still, what do I want? Who do I want to fight for?
"Councilman Sokka, what do you have to add?"
Time to work
"I should add that even if the water tribes have reconciled with how things should be working in regards bending and priorities, both are independent" I said towards the room where the new representants would conform a council in the city.
I recognized none of them.
"That doesn't concern us at all, so do as you might. Any other matter you might like to discuss before calling it out and moving on?"
"No" Electra answered for us, Kat and I just followed. There was really no other matter anyway.
The rest of the group was called, entering by their importance: Suki and Toph entered before King Kuei, who just smiled awkwardly. Zuko followed with two of Suki's sisters and then Aang, all taking their sits.
"We will continue this meeting then, to the rise of the new city where all nations can be lounging together without any type of prosecution" The older man said standing up.
"This last reunion will conclude one of the most important aspect of the city: The democracy. Right now we will vote who do we want as the representants of each of the nations so whenever a change is to be made, the four will be talking. For obvious reasons, and as a part of the founders, the Avatar will represent the air nation"
Aang bowed respectfully
"Avatar Aang, your judgement is the best in the room right now. Who do you nominee to represent each nation?" Electra asked cleverly, her eyes gleaming with interest.
Someone was watching me, I followed the sensation and found myself looking at Suki who immediately averted her gaze.
Sokka, focus. She is your world, but not yet. We need to prepare ourselves first.
"I nominee Katara for the water tribe, Beifong for the earth kingdom and Mai for the fire nation" Aang said after thinking it through. The mention of Zuko's ex made him wake up.
"I am sorry twinkle toes" Toph replied to Aang's annoyance of the nickname "I don't like politics at all"
"It's alright miss Beifong" Another elder replied "Do you nominee someone else in your place?"
Toph thought about it. My eyes wandered again to Suki who was reading something at the table. How damn obvious is that I can't focus in front of her?
Damn it.
"Suki. I nominee the leader of the Kyoshi warriors" Toph said smiling as Suki looked up from the papers. "She is also a founder, after all"
"Right" the elder said looking at Suki weirdly, they don't seem to like the idea that much.
"I'm honored Toph, but is not in my plans to stay in the city"
Right. She will be staying at the fire nation.
"Me neither" Katara said "I nominee my brother for the southern water tribe and Electra for the northern tribe. Remember each tribe is independent and shouldn't be counted as only one" Katara reminded them, which a series of Ooohs echoed on the room.
Wait, I am a nominee?
"Is the fire lord alright with the nominee?" Aang asked Zuko, who was reading some of the papers
"I am fine. We should ask Mai first before making it official, as she might be indisposed of the position" he said before passing down a paper, already signed by him.
Well well, the new representants in the new city. All of our names were already attached, our signature missing so it would become official. This is the project I needed to get one of my many goals: Make the southern tribe great again.
And distract myself from the break up. Sure. Killing two birds with one stone.
I start writing my name, not wanting to catch more attention to my person, quickly passing by at Electra. I proofread the other councilman's…
Wait what? Who is this guy…? Oh, that's Toph lover boy. I smirk as Electra passes the letter to the older man in the middle.
"Next topic is how will this new city be named. By petition of King Kuei, the Avatar and the firelord, the leader of the Kyoshi warriors, Suki"
Suki stood up, walking to the front of the board. Several names were scattered in the paper, one in big letters.
Wait, that's the name I told her! La, she looks so smart talking against the board. All eyes were set on me as the room went quiet. I missed something I'm sure.
"Let's repeat it as he was daydreaming" Someone joked as I blinked rapidly, Suki eyeing me to stand up beside her. I did it and walked with confusion. Why am I being put on the front?
"This name, a city that lives in democracy with the laws being made by and for the people who live in them. Part of the inspiration was taken from a mighty war hero, Mr. Sokka." She explained as I stood by the board, examining the interested faces in what Suki explained.
I guess it finished as they started clapping and agreeing in the name. Electra's eyes were dreamily looking at us.
Us? She jumped from Suki to me. Her stare still moved things inside me and I hated it. I loathed it. I do fear falling for her because that's not what I want.
I look at Suki who briefly smiles, unclasping the brief presentation she gave from the board. I helped her with a bit of it and smile to myself. Maybe being friends again it isn't that bad.
Oh well, we were never friends form the beginning, she might have not held my heart from the first sight but now I can't seem to get out of her grip. If I could escape my own insecurity and lost of identity, first.
We sit back and mingle with the politicians.
"So Sokka, aren't you worried who is going to be the chief on the south now that you'll be gone in the new Republic?" Xian was his name? I glance and smile politely.
"No, Chief Hakoda is doing and amazing job raising both of his children. So if the need arose again, Katara would be an excelente chief" I emphasized, the man smiled.
"And how will the relationship with the north go? I assume you both have spent more time to get to know each other"
Huh?
"I am sorry, maybe I am not putting enough attention. I am already taken sir"
Electra walks by and probably saw my rigid posture. She smiled and offered a drink to Xian and took him away from me. I sip my own beverage, cold and unforgiving.
"Don't look so annoyed when I paid your due."
That lovely voice.
"Suki" I said cheerful, less than other days but more than these last months. "I am honored to be recognized by a warrior like you"
"I am glad you do, it's not something I usually do" Her pretty eyes never left my face. I was smiling so stupidly that my cheeks hurt.
"So…you do really plan to stay on the fire nation" I say trying to see if I could change her mind. Her smile dropped a bit, opening the fan he gave her as a gift to cool herself.
"I do. I am not sure how will the Kyoshi warriors serve the Republic city yet. I cannot force them to do something else anymore"
"But you are the leader, you lead them to greatness. First generation to help end a war" I smile touching her elbow. I know she won't change her opinion, that's so like her.
"With the awful side dish of torture, loss of a limb and imprisonment. I wouldn't like to expose them again. I'm not sure they would follow me" She replied disappointed. "Besides, I think the fire nation suits me better"
"Yeah, that outfit…" I whistled, making her blush and giggle "I was burning the whole time"
Her face looked sad suddenly, forcing a smile before trying to walk past me. I shouldn't reply to that. It's fine, we can chat as friends.
Or not.
"Sorry, I deserve a punch in the face. That was uncalled" I apologized
"It's fine, we are friends aren't we? We can appreciate the finer things in life" She winks before walking away again.
"Hey" Suki stops and turns to see me again. What's with this dramatic stops I do?
"If you ever want to go to Republic City…" I start saying, while she crosses her arms and puts her weight on her hip, looking even shorter. How cute!
"You don't have to offer your place" She says seriously
"I know, but if you ever want to go…"
"You will be the first one to know. If I ever want to go"
"Alright, perfect"
"Not that I will"
"And that's totally comprehensible"
"But if it crosses my mind in the distant future…." She gestured with her arms, the corner of her lips slightly twitching.
"I'll be there for you" I finish, smiling.
She nods and goes her way, grabbing a drink offered to her. She is avoiding me on purpose. Something in me dies a bit, a change in air with temptations is the best option it seems.
I turn around and see Electra still chatting with some of the older members. I walk towards them, tapping her shoulder to gain her attention. She says her goodbyes and walks away grabbing my arm.
"Do you need something?" She asks me without her smile fading. I do feel attracted, and it's fine. Let's really test how can I control myself.
"I want you to teach me how to be a better politician" I said without my smile fading, I think. The strolling around the room stops and she smiles back at me, a bit bigger than her usual.
"My pleasure"
Someone is watching us. I look around and see him staring at us with coldness.
I bet he is way more disappointed. Don't worry Zuko, I'm doing the right thing this time.
I drink as I listen to what Aang and Katara discuss.
I'm really not in the mood after seeing the love stroll between Electra and Sokka. I grab another drink as I remember Suki's sad face.
I'm so sick of him, his games. I'm tired of her falling like a damn fool. She doesn't breathe, talk or think about another thing that is not Sokka or his damn heritage.
"Firelord, you do seem upset" I hear Karina say as I gulp the whole drink. I turn around to address her, she seems relaxed if I didn't knew her better.
"I am, maybe you should be too" I scold her, as Katara and Aang step away from us. Karina raises and eyebrow, defying me.
"I am not mad Suki doesn't…"
"That's not the point" I interrupt, frowning.
"That's her decision. I tried to put some sense in her, is up to her choice"
"I am not mad she didn't chose me"
"I never said that"
"I am angry that she…" I lower my voice, getting close to her "she doesn't seem to be her. She lost herself"
Karina sighed and crossed her arms on her chest, looking towards Suki. She was chatting with Toph who seemed too excited about fighting something. Probably in a few hours.
"We can only be there for her, nothing else. You know how stubborn she is"
I glance at Karina who hands me another drink. It's not even afternoon and I'm already getting booze. I would lie if being here didn't put me anxious. I think I'm even mixing? I feel slightly dizzy. Uncle tried to taught me better in how to handle my mood swings in events.
Right now it seems to be alright, none of the elders and other politicians had approached me. Yet.
Here comes one from the earth kingdom, great. The same one we had an disagreement a year and a half before.
"Firelord Zuko, it's been a while" He bowed while I mimicked, Karina standing behind me for more privacy in the conversation.
"General Kron, how are you feeling with this announcements?" I ask smiling. He smirks and sips some of his drink. I am trying to change the whole stigma that the firelord needs to look grumpy and angry all the time. This is a new era.
"I feel impressed in who you chose to name the new city. As a founder, we expected more involvement"
"Of course I was informed before hand what name would it be. I think it fits perfectly: It is a direct opposite from all these impositions and traditions"
That did make a lot of sense to me. I felt proud at the face of surprise in this man, who just stared.
"Someone from the fire nation actually pushing away traditions? So the news I have been told are true, after all" He smiled at the end, offering me another drink. I grab it, it seems to calm my nerves a lot more than just talking with food.
"What kind of news were you trying to ignore sir?" I ask a bit more comfortable. He grins.
"That you might not have a firelady from the fire nation" He wiggled his eyebrows, looking at Karina. I laughed and he followed.
"I have no idea where you got that impression. Being ninteen is still young to marry" I reply while Karina giggles behind me. They must have confused her with Suki.
"In other nations, by this age they have already got a new successor. You are falling behind, young firelord" He says similar to what uncle had reminded me.
Marriage as someone so powerful had it's consequences, so they must agree to all the trouble it would follow.
"It is a lot of pressure. I know. But maybe to form a new alliance, you would like to choose some of our candidates? This way you could show that you mean that new change" He says looking forward.
Where Sokka and Electra were mingling with Toph.
"A Beifong? I think she is still too young for all of this. Not her style to actually be a firelady. Have you seen her fight?" I said a bit too quickly. Yes, this are all excuses but they carry true in them.
He grabbed his beard, sighing.
"How about the councilman from the North? She is a rare beauty, smart and has all the political game done. She would boost all of your conections."
"I am not interested, thanks" I chug the drink, oh this one was a harder. My throat burns and I cough a bit from the alcohol.
"My bad, I forgot he was your friend" He said regarding Sokka, who seems to be doing something dumb for Toph to punch him, again. "They would a power couple. The water tribes united"
I looked at them and forbidded myself to roll my eyes. I nodded, reaching for another drink.
"What about Ka.."
"That's crazy, she is with the Avatar" I said looking at him annoyed. "I think talking about my love life is enough for today. And with you." I walk away to were Suki mingled with King Kuei and Bosco.
She was smiling so big that when she put on her usual stoic face, nobody would believe it's the same girl. Karina was grabbing a part of my waist. Why is she touching me?
"Karina?"
"You seem to have exceeded the quantity of liquor" She smiled at me "I'll help you get to Suki and bring you some sweets"
"I love sweets"
I wish I have done this before, or just continue being an exile looking for something that never existed. It was a blessing in disguise.
"Hey buddy, you are looking happier than usual" she interrupts my thoughts, a playful face on her before it turns into worry. "Do you want to go outside?"
I nod feeling the anxiety creeping up. King Kuei lends us a room with a balcony, where we sit as the air refreshes us and the sun can be seen setting.
"I am just tired" I start. Suki looked at me with all the attention in the world. "I wish I could change of job and be normal"
She giggled, stroking my arm "I don't think so. You don't know how to cook"
"But it would be easier" I will vomit my thoughts, calm down Zuko. Not again. Don't repeat the scene at the dance
"What would be easier for you?" She asks me
"Everything! I'm so sick of being a firelord, I don't stick up for myself enough. I wished the people liked me more so everything was easier and I wouldn't have the need to be….whoring myself.."
"Woah woah hold on Zuko" Suki puts both arms around me.
Is she hugging me?
"You are panicking. Breathe" I see her a lot closer. We were hugging?
"I am anxious, yes. I screwed up the last time I did something so public" I remember with my eyes looking at the sun behind her. They are burning my sight but it's better than trying to kiss her.
Again, in public.
"Is there something I could…?"
"No! That's the worst part. I want to stop knowing who likes me or who doesn't! I want to enjoy myself…."
"Aren't you?" She asked me seriously, the grip on my shoulders loosening.
"I am…" When I'm with you, I wanted to add, biting my tongue. "I'm just nervous"
"I hope you drinking a lot is not influencing it" She mocked, I laughed nervously. I don't intend to marry someone, yet. But waiting for Suki to choose me is…something might not help me.
"Everyone is asking about who will I marry, the have been informed is not someone from the fire nation and most people have confused you for Karina, as she is the one guarding me tonight"
"I thought they didn't knew my name at all?" She asked me with a mysterious face. I am getting drunk aren't I?
"They do. They know I love you and that I would choose you as a firelady, but they are not ready for that conversation yet, so they tried to matchmake with other girls attending tonight"
"Marry me?" Suki asked shocked. I wanted to choke. The blush was visible even if the makeup was covering her cheeks. She looks cute.
"A-and, yeah. I want to disappear for a while" I ignored her, I'm regaigning my senses. I feel way more nervous. She licked her lips, she is nervous too.
"Zuko, are you drunk right now?" She asked me, and I blushed. Would it be worse admitting out loud or say I was sober saying it?
"I think" I reply honestly. She laughed dryly. "I don't know"
Her laughing continued. "I hate it here too. I just see Sokka strolling around with Electra, I have been talking with King Kuei for an hour or more"
"Why didn't you approach us?" I asked "We could mingle you know?"
"I thought nobody knew me. I now discover the know me as someone's love interest" She says annoyed, her eyebrows furrowing at the ground. She looks scary with the make up.
"At least it was not Sokka's" I reply feeling sassy. She does look better with me. She rises an eyebrow
"You are missing the point" She says and stands up. "I don't want to be known as -The girl- of someone else"
"I know. It was a joke"
"Oh"
She laughed and my heart beated again. "I would be a terrible wife anyway"
I raised my eyebrow curiously. Before I could talk she grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the chair. I let myself be led on.
"Let's get back, shouldn't we?" She said caressing my thumb with hers. Am I mixing signals or..
Is she flirting?
"I like being here with you" I said roughly. Her serene face makes my head dizzy. Or it's the alcohol?
"I do like it too. But it's not the time. I…I.."
"What are you afraid of?" I ask, her face falls.
"I am free. I want to feel again, at my rate" She looks at me again, a sad smile appearing. This must be something she had talked with Karina.
"Ight. I will wait for you as long as I can" I say without thinking. She blushes and blinks surprised. I blink too.
"You should love again Zuko"
Yeah that's a shot down. I feel ashamed for a bit. We walk to the room before we hit the main hall in silence. We are still holding hands and I gain courage. I shouldn't be ashamed to tell her my feelings.
I know well enough that they might not be corresponded, but it will help me get over them.
"And I'm loving again" I stop and she does too. "You can accept it or push it away but I am here and I won't go away, not willingly. We talked about this before. I knew what meant falling for you, it meant not having any opportunity to loving you in public. Of you, Suki, always loving somebody else. I just wanted you to know that. You are not a second thought, you will always be my priority"
She scooted closer and hugged me. She took a deep breath in my chest. I hugged her back, hard. Relaxing in her warm and closing my eyes, I felt as if I didn't loose the grip I would crush her so I let her go.
Then I felt her lips on mine, her arms around my neck. .kissing.
We are?
Oh we definitely are.
She pulled away, red and looking guilty.
"We should go back" She said walking behind me, trying to put her usual stoic face. Her blush didn't went away and I smiled, making her blush harder.
She doesn't have to explain anything. Uncle would probably tell me it's a bad decision to keep waiting for her, as she is not interested in me, not at least how I would want to.
And that was alright, if that was the price I had to pay, I would pay it every single day.
What was I thinking?
The air in the room felt colder than usual, as I walked side by side to Zuko. Who I just kissed.
It's not fair to lead him on, stupid. You are playing with him and you know it. Why are you being such a big bit…
"Nice to meet you! I heard a lot of amazing feats you did while in the boiling rock. For such a young age, you were outsmarting the more experienced guards" The man told me as I nodded an talked like a robot.
I am ruining Zuko.
This is a mistake, I should be apologizing. I am free, sure. But my heart it's not. I am repeating a pattern.
I searched in the room for Zuko, who was talking more happier than before with Aang and Toph. I want to feign ignorance and think he had some amazing news and that's why he is so happy.
But I did that. I am doing thing I shouldn't, playing with him.
Someone tapped me, I apologized to this gentle man and turned to see this guy.
This fucking guy.
"Can we chat a bit more? As friends of course" Sokka smiled and I suddenly felt the urge to disappear.
"Sure, even if we are playing" I said bitterly. Sokka looked surprised at my comment.
"Playing about what?" He asked, offering his arm to stroll with him like he had done with Electra. It's even the same arm. I start walking and he follows by my side. "You could have said no"
"Oh? I forgot this was something you did with all your friends" I said darkly "Playing with being friends. Who are we fooling?"
"Us. The only people we need to" He replied seriously. "Did something happen?"
"Well, you know this feeling better than I do" Sokka looked at me and grabbed a drink. I looked with awe. Is he really offe..
"Your darkness is showing, maybe burying a bit before I take you out of here could do?" He said looking at the glass "It's not that strong, and for your problem…"
"My problem?" I ask drinking it. Wine. This is nothing
"Yes, yesterday we did the mistake of getting that drunk"
"Are you scolding me?"
"As a friend, of course" Sokka told me, his eyes looking suspicious. "I though your lipstick was waterproof"
Oh
Oh no
Oh no no no, not again.
"No, it's not" I lie, drinking more "Why the sudden interest in my lips? Want to make out?"
Sokka blushed and rolled his eyes. He looks sexy doing that, damn it.
"I wish, not yet. We are friends"
"We should reinforce the friendship" I wink biting my lower lip. He laughs and hugs me espontaniously.
"I will miss you a fucking lot" He whispers before pulling apart, I smile.
"I know you will, stupid" I said as we take a sit.
"Maybe I could visit you more at the fire nation? To hang out respectfully"
"You mean without eating ourselves right?"
"Have you been always this nasty with your friends?" He smirks. I grin back
"Only the hot ones, for example Karina"
His face was priceless.
"I wish I could see that"
"And you will keep wishing, she is in love with her girl" I said laughing, he laughed too.
"I am glad my jokes finally rubbed on you"
"Oh you wish, this humor can't be found in the South Pole"
He smiled and his eyes shone brightly. We were really hanging out calmly heh? Maybe we should have gone out more to dates, not dwell in our pain only. Sokka looked in front and I followed his gaze, he stopped were Zuko, Aang, Toph and now, Katara and Electra, mingled.
I sighed, sipping my drink. I just want to change and leave this chapter of my life behind.
Be someone proud of myself again. Not playing with Zuko or Sokka, again.
"Write sometime would you? I will do my best to reply fast" he said looking at Zuko. Oh oh, is that…
Lipstick
Red one. On his lips
"I didn't know the desserts messed up your mouth" I said grabbing a red velvet and eating it
"Yeah, it looks like you just put more lipstick on"
"I know!"
"It doesn't, Suks" He replied laughing and getting a bite from my cake. I rolled my eyes.
"I like your company, like this" I blurt without thinking. He wraps and arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer.
"Soon" He only replies, looking at our friends "Let's focus on now"
Why did he know I was overthinking? He winks and kisses my cheek.
Now that was unexpected.
"Do you kiss your friends on the cheeks all the time?" I ask amazed.
"I do, actually. Ask Toph or Katara"
"I rather not ask Toph, thanks" I joke.
Something I thought I will never see, he laughed at his own mistake
"Sorry I forgot. He is so in love with his guy" He said smiling "I wish her the best. Maybe she can learn from all the drama we caused"
"I hope so, otherwise I will knock her out some sense like she did" I said as we laughed.
Katara signaled us to join them. We both left the chairs and walked to where they chatted.
"I am just glad of being out of the damn Iceberg" Electra said as Aang laughed. "I will not miss it"
"Let's be friends forever" Toph said a bit tipsy. Oh she definitely is. This will be fun
"We will, in many other lives too!" Aang added hugging Katara's waist and Electra's shoulders. I smiled at how heartwarming this was. I hugged Sokka and Zuko, who was by my side.
"Share some, won't you?" Toph said, making Zuko blush.
We all laughed and I swear the time flew until it was midnight. We were tipsier than before, some dancing horrible and some singing to the top of their lungs.
It would be a while until we could be together like this.
I found myself most of the night singing and dancing with Toph. She was just a natural at it! Sokka at times danced with me, mostly ending in drunk sparring and him falling again, and again.
"Suki! Care to teach me a lesson?" I hear Electra call for me, I smile and get on position. We look with intensity and then laugh, dancing to the beat of whatever they had on.
Right now, we are all friends, I wish we could stay more days like this, just enjoying our youth. Of course we can't
We are the founders, the heroes. A bunch of teenagers with traumas. I lean on Zuko who was already passing out on the chair, with Katara trying to help a crying and grieving Aang with the guilt he carried, but it wasn't that great. She was crying too thinking about her mother.
Sokka was not doing good either. He called Electra several times Yue and screaming at me whenever I got close. That was a bad thing and I even felt sorry for her, who just looked awkward whenever it happened, with both looking from time to time where I was sitting.
I drank more, to not feel jealousy, to not be afraid of feeling happiness instead of heartbreak. It was the man of my dreams, getting away with his dream girl. And I, playing with one of my closest friends heart, trying to fill a void in my fucking heart while he had crisis concerning his reign and the wellness of a country.
Damn, it's brutal out here.