A/N
This fic was spawned when I gave my friend (who knows nothing about Touhou) a list of characters and said to pick three. She gave me Patchy, Parsee, and Koishi. Had to add Marisa for this fic to make a lick of sense, and even then it's shoddy. Let me know what you think!
As Marisa made her way past the web, having washed the spider out, she came across a long bridge in a dank, empty cave. Two green orbs glowed in the distance, at the opposite end of the bridge. Sensing that this threat would be greater than the last, Marisa called upon the Unmoving Great Library for some help.
"Heya Patchy, think you could lend me a hand? This next girl looks like trouble, ze." Marisa said into the communicator.
"Don't they all look like trouble, you black-white fool?" Patchy replied as she begrudgingly made her way down into the geyser.
Patchy soon joined Marisa at the cave opening, the pair staring down the strange girl across the bridge. They began approaching each other.
"So tell me, can we just walk on through or do we gotta fight'cha first?" Marisa asked.
"Maybe I'd let you slide by your lonesome, but since you brought a friend we'll have to duke it out." The girl called back, a sadistic grin spreading across her face.
"Alrighty then, can I at least get 'yer name 'fore I send ya packin'?"
"Mizuhashi. Parsee Mizuhashi. This bridge carries the same name, for I and it are one."
"Okay, small dark and mysterious, let's see what you got!"
The three of them readied for the imminent combat, but before any shots were fired, another girl appeared between them. The three froze.
"Hi!" She called out.
"Whodafuckeryou?" Marisa said without hesitation.
"I'm Koishi!" the strange girl said back.
"Well why are you here?" Patchy pondered out loud.
"I heard some excitement and thought I'd come see what it was all about!" Koishi said.
"Then get on the sideline, I got a friendship to end!" Parsee shouted.
The three broke their gaze with Koishi, immediately becoming ignorant of her presence. Marisa drew her mini-Hakkero, Patchy opened a tome and prepared an incantation, and Parsee began to pick them apart on how she could get them to turn on each other. She quickly found it.
"You know, witch girl, bringing your friend with you was a mistake." The bridge princess teased.
"What'cha mean?" Marisa asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because now she'll take the credit for this fight. If you two win, of course. Her abilities far outclass yours, being a youkai magician and not just some human poser like yourself. No one would believe you beat me, but they might believe she did."
"Liar! I might be an ordinary magician but that don't mean I'm a weak one, ze!" Marisa's anger was rising.
"Actually this bridge girl may have a point. If not for the Spell Card Rules, I would have utterly trumped you in a skill versus skill contest back in the day." Patchy butted in.
Parsee smirked. This is going to be easier than I thought.
"Maybe so, but the Rules are in place, and I whooped your purple-haired ass!"
"You were barely on your feet when I surrendered, and asked that miko friend of yours to carry on in your stead. I was hardly short of breath."
"Winnin's winnin' dammit!"
"Perhaps, but it's much less impressive when you consider all the factors."
"Oh yea? Well how 'bout a rematch, since you think I'm such a pushover!'
"A rematch with a novice like you would be a dishonor to a master like me, no matter the outcome."
"Well then get ready to defend yourself, I'm gonna hit'cha whether you want it 'er not!"
"I'm not afraid of a skilless fool." pages flew back and forth as Patchy surfed through her tome for a suitable attack.
"I'm not afraid of some pale old freak!" Marisa's mini-Hakkero began lighting up.
But before the two could strike each other, someone interrupted yet again.
"Hey! I think you're cool, Miss Witch girl! You don't have to fight your friend to prove it!" Koishi stood between them.
"Whodafuckeryou?" Marisa said without hesitation.
"Uh, I'm Koishi? We just met like a minute ago."
"I'm sure I'd remember a tentacled nutcase who gets between the Master Spark and its target."
"The master what?"
"Nevermind, just get out of the way!"
"But why shoot your friend when you came here to fight the bridge girl over there?"
Parsee's smile broke, fear coming back to her eyes. It was no longer going according to plan. She began backing away as the two magicians turned toward her. Before Patchy could even decide on an attack, Marisa fired her Master Spark, blowing Parsee off her feet, sending her rolling end over end for a few meters before she landed in a cloud of dust, groaning in pain.
"See? I'm strong's you'er!" Marisa said coyly.
"I suppose I have to agree." Patchy turned her nose up in protest.
"Good job you two! I knew you could do it witch girl!" Koishi appeared before them again.
"Whodafuckeryou?" Marisa said without hesitation.
"If this is a joke, it's not funny anymore." Koishi said, her smile fading.
"Whadda'ya mean? I've never seen you 'fore, 'course I'm wonderin' who'yare."
"I'm Koishi!" she was getting a little fed up.
"Well nice to meet'cha! But we've gotta get going, so maybe we'll catch ya later!" Marisa said, still confused about what this girl was on about.
"Alright, maybe I'll see you at your next fight." Koishi said, waving them goodbye.
"Maybe so. Until then, strange friend." Patchy said as she waved back.
"Who're ya wavin' to?" Marisa asked, already having turned away from Koishi.
Her attention diverted by Marisa's question, Patchy was now similarly puzzled.
"I was waving to someone?"
They continued the speculation on who was waving to who and why, as they stepped over an unconscious Parsee (not knocked out, just exhausted from her first fight in decades). The two magicians made their way into the Former Capital, as a three-eyed stranger tailed them from a distance, hoping to see some more action.