Authors note- Wow! Can't believe we've already made it to chapter 40. Thank you all for your follows and reviews. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.
Song inspiration- Second Chance -Shinedown
Chapter 40
Space and Time
Harry sat at the kitchen table, mindlessly poking his fork into a treacle tart he'd found in the fridge. He had been surprised to find any food in the kitchen. When he had found the treacle tart and a note from Dobby, he had realized that one of them had brought the food from Hogwarts. He had been sent to the kitchen after he had made his request. Snape and Sirius had just stared at him for a long moment before sending him to get something to eat.
He'd considered the options and none of them had looked appealing. His stomach was in knots. His mind felt like it was on fire with everything that had happened that day. He regretted making his request. There was no way they were going to let him go back to the Sundown. He'd made to many mistakes.
Harry sighed and laid down his fork. He looked at the note lying next to his plate.
Harry Potter's favorite. Enjoy. Dobby.
Harry felt the corner of his mouth pull up a little. He missed Dobby. Perhaps he would take a trip to the kitchens next time he had to go to the school.
He folded the note and shoved it in his pocket. He felt another paper and remembered he'd gotten a letter from Rokk that morning too. He'd look at it later. His mind was too full at the moment to give the letter his full attention. Though he was sure he was about to be on restriction again and would probably appreciate the distraction.
He pushed the plate forward then folded his arms on the table and laid his head down. He stared at the chipping grey paint on the wall. Maybe he and Snape would just work on the house. At least it would keep his mind off of everything else.
He knew his words had hurt Sirius and Snape. He didn't want to push them away, but he couldn't do this anymore. His body and mind felt exhausted. He just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for a week.
He closed his eyes and tried to remember something happy. He needed something good. He imagined being on his broom, flying around the pitch. He took slow even breaths as he imagined looking up at the castle and the smell of the wind.
Slowly his thoughts began to fade, and he fell asleep.
Severus sighed and cast a silencing spell as he entered his sitting room. Black followed him into the room and they both took their seats. Lupin was sitting on the couch and looked anxious. Severus was sure the conversation to come wouldn't lesson that anxiety.
They all sat in quiet contemplation for a few minutes before Lupin spoke.
"What did you need to talk to Harry about?" Lupin asked.
Severus groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't even sure how to answer that question.
"Severus found a bag of muggle drugs in Harry's room." Black answered softly.
Severus watched Lupins brows scrunch together.
"Did Harry admit to using them?" Lupin asked.
Black just shook his head.
Lupin swallowed hard and looked at Severus.
"I'm not sure what to think. His story is possible, although I find it unlikely. According to Minerva he also took out a large amount of pounds from his vault on Friday. When she first told me I thought perhaps the boy was planning to run away again. Now though, I'm not sure. I'd like to believe him. But I just don't know." Severus said.
Severus words hung heavy in the room for a moment.
Lupin seemed to be steeling himself to say something.
"Harry said something when I went to talk to him. Something that has left me feeling uneasy. I'd like a copy of his diagnostic." Lupin said flatly.
Severus rubbed at his face and sighed.
"Did you discuss that with Harry." Severus said dropping his hand back into his lap.
"No." Lupin said. His face showed no hesitation.
"I think we have all invaded the boy's privacy enough for one night, don't you?" Severus asked.
Lupin sighed and looked down at his hands that were clasped tightly. Black looked fidgety next to him.
"Was Harry sexually abused?" Lupin asked softly.
Severus felt his stomach clench. It was an upsetting topic, and he didn't feel terribly comfortable discussing Harry's diagnostic after he'd promised he'd do what he could to limit what they knew.
He had also not completely ruled out that the later sexual abuse could have been someone in the wizarding world. He liked to think that the people closest to the boy would protect him. Unfortunately, those who abuse children are often close to the child. Black and Lupin were very close with the boy and Severus had not completely dismissed the idea that one of them may have used that relationship to abuse the boy.
"I won't be discussing what is in Potter's medical records." Severus said neutrally.
Severus watched the pair on the couch closely. Looking for signs of guilt. Black had nearly frozen from his previously fidgety state when Lupin had asked the question. Severus wasn't sure if this was a sign of guilt or shock though.
"What?" Black whispered out heartbrokenly.
Black looked pleadingly at Lupin.
"What…What did he say?" Black asked.
Severus was also curious. Harry had been hesitant at best to answer the questions about what had happened when he was really young. Then he'd completely shut down Severus' questions when he'd inquired about the sexual injuries he'd sustained once he'd started school. Severus hadn't even tried to ask about the ones that appeared to have happened once he'd joined the wizarding world.
Lupin unclasped his hands and rubbed them on the tops of his legs.
"He didn't say anything specific. It was more a feeling I got. He…He asked why his shoes were off." Lupin said quietly.
Severus brows furrowed.
"There was just a panicky sick look on his face when he asked. It's obvious Harry is uncomfortable with touch. While that could partially be attributed to the physical abuse, it seems to be more than that. Like he's worried his boundaries won't be respected if he allows himself to be close to anyone. You mentioned how he acts when you've given him hugs. That's different then flinching away from a sudden movement." Remus answered quietly looking to Black as he finished explaining.
Severus knew exactly the look Lupin was talking about. He'd seen it himself. Harry had that look when Poppy had asked him to remove his pants to look at the road rash. He realized he had also seen it this morning when they'd been eating breakfast. Harry had that look every time he had raised his head to look at Severus. Severus had to concede that the boy obviously had issues with any level of nudity. He promised himself that he would make sure he was fully dressed for any further interactions with the boy. He wondered how Harry had managed five years of sharing a dorm and interactions in the locker room.
Severus also considered what Lupin had said about Black's interactions with Harry. Was Harry's reaction unique to Black, he wondered in suspicion. It might explain the hot and cold reactions to Black and Lupin that he'd seen. Perhaps it was a factor in his concern about going to live with them.
Blacks face though told him he was wrong. He looked completely devastated.
Black lowered his head into his hands and gripped tightly onto his hair. His shoulder shook violently. Severus couldn't imagine the level of guilt they must both feel about the whole situation. They couldn't possibly have known any of it but that didn't change the fact that they were his parents and that he'd grown up without them because of their own choices.
Severus felt the ball of guilt rolling in his stomach. It was his fault that Harry had been forced to grow up without any of them. He also felt guilty that he'd let his petty grudge of James Potter blind him to what was right in front of him.
Lupin laid a hand on Blacks back in an effort to comfort him. Severus looked away from the couple's private moment. They needed to address what Harry had said before they came down here.
"I will provide the boy's medical records to you, since you are his parents. However, I implore you to speak with Harry before I do so. He looked shattered when he thought the contents would be shared freely. I would like Harry to feel he has some control over what is happening. Which brings us to our next point. Harry's request." Severus said.
Black had sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes. Lupin kept his hand on Black's back and looked at Severus in question.
"What request?" Lupin asked.
Remus waited for Severus to answer. He hadn't wanted to ask about Harry's diagnostic again. He agreed with Severus about giving Harry some control. Harry had been given very little control over his own life. However, in the interest of helping Harry heal he would need that information. Something as simple as removing Harry's shoes had upset him. If they needed to work around certain triggers they would need to know.
"I inquired if there was anything we could do for Harry." Severus said.
Remus nodded. He'd also asked Harry. He knew that Harry was bad at stating his needs. However, Remus wanted to encourage Harry to communicate what he needed. It would be a crucial step in his healing. Aside from the abuse, the obvious neglect had left Harry with the impression that his needs would not be met regardless if he voiced them. He wanted to show him that was no longer the case. That his needs would be met now, and he didn't need to fear voicing them.
"He would like to leave. He no longer wishes to reside here." Severus said quietly looking down at his hands.
Remus could see the guilt creasing the man's face. He was sure Severus felt horrible for having scared Harry so much earlier. Though Remus suspected it wasn't the only factor in Harry's wish to leave.
"I'm not sure that's a wise idea. Aside from the fact that Harry is here because other options have already been ruled out. He has shown he is a risk to himself. Certainly, his actions on Friday are evidence of that. There is also now the potential that he has been taking drugs, which is just another form of self-harm." Remus voiced his concerns.
"I assume you two went through his room?" Remus asked.
Severus nodded.
"Did you find anything?" Remus asked.
"He had a bottle of firewhiskey and a pack of smokes." Sirius said softly from beside him.
Remus nodded. Not great, but it didn't sound like they'd found any other drugs or anything else concerning. He almost wanted to smirk at the firewhiskey and cigarettes that they'd found. Both had been staples of Sirius bag for the last few years of their time at Hogwarts. Perhaps Harry was more like them then he'd thought.
"I was worried he might ask to leave. I asked if he felt safe staying here and he seemed fairly shaky about his answer." Remus said, running a hand over his face.
"He would like to return to the motel that he was staying at. I'm inclined to allow him. The wards of the town would keep him nearly as safe as if he were staying here. This way at least we know where he is. If he decides to flee again, we may not find him this time. It was only by his own choice that he came out of hiding long enough to be found. A mistake I doubt the boy would make a second time." Severus said softly.
Remus felt unsure. It was obvious Harry was struggling in this environment, but was letting him go it alone a better answer? There wasn't much in the way of choices honestly. They could force him to stay here and hope he didn't run away again, or they could let him go and hope that the show of faith was enough to encourage Harry to come to them if there was a problem. The wards in the town were better than anything that was on Lupin cottage.
He hoped they would resolve that soon and be able to offer Harry another option. Remus grounded himself with the feeling of Sirius' shirt under his palm. He and Sirius would have a lot to discuss when they returned. He hoped that Sirius would agree with his decision.
With a sigh Remus nodded.
"There would need to be rules in place." Remus finally said.
"Of course." Severus answered.
Harry shot out of the chair he'd fallen asleep in, sending the chair clattering to the floor. Harry looked around wildly. He sucked in a shaky breath when he realized he'd just been having a nightmare and that he was fine.
He looked worriedly at the doorway to the kitchen and when no one came in he bent and picked up the chair. He took the treacle tart and placed it back in the fridge. Perhaps his appetite would be back tomorrow. He clearly wasn't going to be able to stomach anything tonight. He took his fork and washed it quickly.
He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do now. He was sure that the adults were all still in the sitting room. The house felt stuffy, and he didn't feel like the heat was helping his slightly panicked feeling. With one last glance at the door to the hall he walked to the back door and stepped out onto the back porch.
He sat on the top step and looked into the darkness of the evening. The breeze was cool, and he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of it blowing on his warm skin and ruffling his hair.
He wasn't really sure what he was waiting for. He may as well just go back up to the guest room. Today had been a mess. He'd been agitated since he woke up that morning. There had just been too much going on. He just wanted to let himself get lost in his books for a while.
With that he pulled his bag from his pocket and enlarged it. Setting it next to him on the steps he retrieved his book on potion interactions. He noticed the porch light wasn't quite enough to read by and created the glowing ball to hang over his book.
With a sigh he tried to find the place where he had stopped reading.
Severus said curt goodbyes to Lupin and Black as they floo'd out of his sitting room. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. They'd come up with a plan for how the boy could safely return to the Sundown. It would be his job to talk it over with Harry.
Lupin had suggested that they leave. He thought it best that they didn't appear to be ganging up on him. They would return tomorrow to talk to Harry. Severus had convinced Lupin to talk to Harry about the diagnostic and he'd finally conceded.
Severus made his way down the hall and found that the kitchen was empty. He noticed the porch light and walked to the back door. He smiled softly when he saw Harry perched on the top step with a book open on his knees. Severus had spent much of his youth in the same place, doing the same thing. He'd found it a peaceful place to get away from his father. Severus cringed inwardly. He had promised himself that he was not going to become like his father. When he'd noticed Potter was afraid of him two weeks ago, he'd tried to change his course.
Today he'd been exactly the thing he never wanted to become. He had not hurt Harry, but he had terrified him.
Severus walked out onto the Porch and intentionally shuffled his feet.
Harry's head snapped up and he turned to look at Severus.
"The weather is nice tonight. It was a rather warm day." Severus said idly looking out into the garden.
"Yeah." Harry said softly.
"We have discussed your request." Severus said.
Harry's head dropped and he closed the book. He shoved it in his bag and stood to face Severus.
"I know it's not an option. I'm sorry for asking. I should be grateful I have a place to stay." Harry said wrapping his arms around himself. His head was down, and he sounded exhausted.
"You don't need to be grateful to be in a place you're afraid to be Harry. I'm sorry that I made you so uncomfortable here. I'm especially sorry about today. It shouldn't have happened." Severus said with a sigh.
"We have decided it might be best to let you return to the Sundown. Although there will be rules." Severus said neutrally.
Harry's head popped up in surprise.
"Really?" Harry asked uncertainly.
Severus could see the desperate hope on his face and it broke Severus' heart. He was sure that he had had a similar expression when Lucius had offered him a place to go. He'd been so desperate to get away from this house.
Severus swallowed hard and nodded.
"Yes. It's rather late to be addressed tonight though. We'll go to town in the morning. It appears I need to speak with Mary and we'll get you checked back into the Sundown." Severus said.
He pushed his own emotions about the situation down. His feelings didn't matter in this. He was the one who had made the boy afraid to be here and desperate to leave. He had no right to feel upset about the consequences of his actions. He genuinely wanted what was best for the boy and clearly this wasn't it.
Harry smiled wide and his eyes got a little shiny.
"Thank you." Harry said, keeping his eyes on Severus' face.
Severus nodded and looked away from the boy.
"Um…" Harry started to say something else, and Severus looked back at him.
His smile had disappeared and had been replaced with a slightly pained look.
"I'm not afraid to be here. Or afraid of you. I'm just overwhelmed. I just need some space. A lot has happened really fast and I…it's a lot to deal with. I know you're trying to help me. I know Sirius and Remus are trying too, but it just feels like too much. I…I don't know what I need right now. I think I just need time to figure that out." Harry said softly, twisting his hands together.
Severus felt his heart lighten a little. Though he felt guilty that the boy had obviously read his emotions again.
"You have time. We'll be here when you're ready. My door is always open." Severus said quietly.
Harry gave him a grateful smile and nodded.
Severus found himself smiling back at the teen.
Harry felt light as he walked down the street with Snape. Today was lovely. The sun was shining and there was a light breeze. Snape had explained what the rules were. He didn't love them, but they were reasonable. He was expected to check in every day. He could call or come by the house, but he needed to check in before dinner time. He needed to keep taking his potions and eating regular meals. If he was feeling overwhelmed or panicked, he was to return to Snapes or go to the Book Nook. If anything dangerous happened he was to contact Snape immediately. He also needed to accompany Snape on Fridays to the school to continue their lessons. Snape had explained that the headmaster would get involved if they didn't continue their lessons.
Harry walked steadily up to the office of the Sundown.
"Max." Maggie greeted with a big smile.
Harry smiled back.
"Severus." Maggie said with slightly less enthusiasm though she still had a smile on her face.
"What can I do for you?" Maggie asked.
Harry bit his lip.
"I'd like a room please." Harry said.
Maggie gave him a quizzical look and glanced at Snape briefly before nodding.
"Sure. Your room is still open. Will that work?" Maggie asked, glancing at her registration book quickly.
Harry nodded.
Harry stepped forward and pulled the money from his pocket.
Maggie nodded and handed him the key.
"Thank you, Maggie." Harry said with a smile.
Harry and Snape exited the office and stood in the parking lot a little awkwardly for a moment.
"I'll inform Black and Lupin Where you're staying. I believe they would like to see you today." Snape informed him.
Harry sighed. They had discussed this as well. They wanted his diagnostic and Snape would need to give it to them. Though he'd put them off saying that they should talk to Harry first. He didn't want them to have it but it didn't sound like he was getting a choice.
"Just give it to them. I don't want to see them right now." Harry said as he tensed his jaw.
He didn't want anyone else to see it. However, knowing they were going to get it eventually meant he may as well get it out of the way. Hopefully, if they got it now, they could sort out their emotions a little before Harry would have to see them again. Then maybe they could just all move on. Though he doubted it. Remus had studied as a mind healer. Harry was sure that he would eventually have to talk to him, if not both of them.
A problem for a different day, he thought with another sigh.
"Are you sure?" Snape asked.
Harry bit his lip hard and nodded.
Snape nodded.
"Very well." Snape said.
"Don't forget to check in. Take your potions and eat." Snape said, looking Harry in the eye.
Harry could see how serious Snape was. He nodded his understanding.
"Yes, Professor." Harry said.
Snape nodded and turned to leave. Harry knew he was headed to the Book Nook. Harry planned to go there later as well but he just wanted to get settled into his room first.
Severus sighed as he pulled the door of the Book Nook open. He hoped he would be able to placate Mary. Minerva had said she wanted to contact child welfare and that would certainly complicate the situation.
"Welcome." Mary called from somewhere between the aisles.
Severus looked around the shop. The boy had obviously been cleaning when he had come on Saturday.
"Severus." Mary said quietly.
Mary had a slightly pinched look on her face. Severus felt like he was about to get scolded like a child.
Mary walked to the armchair and took a seat. Severus followed and took the other chair.
"My colleague informed me you wished to speak with me." Severus said a little stiffly.
Mary pursed her lips.
"How is the boy doing today?" Mary asked.
Severus thought he seemed to be in good spirits. Possibly the happiest he had seen him this summer.
"He seems to be better today." Severus answered.
Mary nodded and looked out the large front window of the shop.
"I'm worried about him. He seems overwhelmed and I don't know what to think about your involvement in his change in behavior. I won't say that he didn't have any issues before, but he seems so much worse since he has gone to stay with you. I don't know what to think Severus. I want to believe that you haven't been treating the boy poorly, but I don't know what to think when he breaks down two days in a row in my shop." Mary said, turning to look at Severus.
Severus took a deep breath.
"There has been a lot happening. He had a full medical exam, and it revealed a lot that I don't think he was ready to face. He also has potential guardians that are working to get custody. You met one of them yesterday. I think Harry just became overwhelmed by all the changes. We have all been trying to help him and I don't think he knows how to manage that much attention. Not when it's directed at such personal matters. He asked to return to the motel, and I agreed. I'm hoping it will give him time to process everything that has happened. Then perhaps we can begin to help him in a more slow and measured manner." Severus said thoughtfully.
Mary nodded.
"I presume you've put rules in place for him." Mary said.
Severus nodded.
"Yes. I hope you won't mind I told him that if he needs help, he should come here." Severus said.
"Of course. I'll keep an eye on him." Mary said.
Mary sighed and looked Severus in the eye.
"I'm sorry to be so harsh. I've just become attached to him, and it hurts to see him hurting." Mary said.
Severus nodded. He agreed. It was painful to see how much Harry was struggling.
"Can you stay for a cuppa?" Mary asked.
Severus nodded.
Mary disappeared into the back and when she returned, she was carrying a tray. Severus took it and set it on the table between the chairs. He noticed several envelopes on the tray and raised an eyebrow.
"What's this?" Severus asked as he picked up his teacup.
Mary sighed as she picked up the envelopes.
"When he arrived here on Saturday he was upset. He told me that you gave him the photo. Said you just dropped it on him and walked away." Mary said with a raised eyebrow.
"We have since talked about it." Severus said with a sigh.
Mary nodded.
"When I got him to calm down, he gave me this envelope. Said he was paying me back for the money I gave him on his first paycheck. Said I'd overpaid him and that he'd spent the money poorly. I told him I wouldn't accept it. I also had this…" Mary Said holding up a second envelope.
"This is his pay for doing my roof. This one is from Julie. And this one Jack brought me this morning." Mary said pointing to the other two envelopes.
"Jack said Max was trying to pay Jane back for meals. Jane was having him eat breakfast at the diner, so he wouldn't have to work on an empty stomach. And Julie said that the amount in hers was how much she had paid for Max's stay at the Sundown. She paid for his stay after Mark attacked him.
Neither of them expected or wanted the money. Jane took it because she didn't want to argue with Max and Julie found hers next to the register. We wanted to help Max and the things we did were to that end. We don't expect the boy to pay us back." Mary said, laying the envelopes back on the tray.
Severus sat back in his chair. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. He supposed he knew what Harry had gotten so much money out for. He was glad that the boy had not been trying to buy drugs or run away again. However, he wasn't sure what to do about this situation either.
"Will you take them and make sure they get back to him?" Mary asked.
Severus hesitated for a moment then nodded.
"He really is such a sweet boy. I hope things start turning around for him." Mary said softly, as she sipped her tea.
Severus nodded. He hoped things would start improving as well. Although this summer seemed to be relentless in the unwelcome news category.
Once Harry was settled into his room he headed for the park. He felt bad that he hadn't made it there yesterday to feed Edgar.
He took a seat under the tree by the pond. He looked a little for the kitten but figured he'd show up if he just relaxed. The food he'd left on Saturday was gone so surely; he had still been around. Harry pulled the book he had been reading from his bag. He had moved on to one about magical beings.
His letter from Rokk had been intriguing. It had been a bit about his life, as well as Goblin culture. Harry had found it fascinating and was now reading more about Goblins. He hoped to write back and ask more questions as well as introduce himself a little better. He planned to send the letter on Friday when he went to Hogwarts.
He should also probably write another letter to Ron and Hermione. He'd not sent the last one and was still unsure what to say to them.
His book had quite the unique perspective on lots of different magical beings. He had marked several pages about Werewolves. He would wait to read those until he was in his room. He wanted to spread his notes out again and see if he could find what was still missing in his research.
As Harry fell into his book he smiled softly as a puffy ball of black fur climbed gently into his lap and curled up.
Harry had stayed in the park for most of the morning, but his stomach had begun to grumble, and he had other things to do today. When he reached the grocery store, he quickly combed his fingers through his hair. The wind had made it look like a tangled mess as he had been walking back through town.
"Hello, Max." Jack said with a nod, as Harry made his way into the store.
"Hi." Harry responded with a smile.
"You just stopping by?" Jack asked as he leaned against the counter next to the register.
"Yeah. Need to pick a few things up. But…um...could I start picking shifts up again?" Harry said a little unsurely.
He had only worked one day for Jack since he'd been at Snapes. He wasn't sure if the man would want him back regularly.
Jack smiled.
"Of course." Jack said as he turned to help a woman walking up to the register.
Harry nodded mostly to himself and made his way further into the store. He wanted to get a few snacks to keep in his bag. The potions were definitely doing something to his appetite. He planned to start sleeping as Akela again which seemed to also effect his need for food.
Once he had collected some snack foods he made his way back to the register.
"You want to come in tomorrow? We get our shipment in the morning. I could use the extra hands." Jack asked as he rang up Harry's items.
"Yeah. I can do that. What time do you want me in?" Harry asked, handing over the money.
"Let's call it nine." Jack said with a thoughtful nod.
"Alright. See you then." Harry said, heading for the door.
He tucked his snacks into his bag and took a deep breath. He stared across the street at the Book Nook. He felt horrible for the trouble he'd cause Mary the last two days. He hoped she wasn't upset with him.
Looking quickly for cars he made his way across the street.
With one last deep breath he opened the door and stepped in.
"Hello Max." Mary said softly from the counter.
Harry shuffled his feet a little.
"Hello, ma'am." Harry said quietly.
"I've got some books in the back that need to be shelved, if you're interested in helping out around the shop today." Mary said casually.
Harry flashed her a grateful smile and headed to the back. Mary gave him an understanding nod as he passed her.
Harry was thankful for the normality. He was having a good day. However, hashing everything out again, as he had expected would happen, seemed daunting. Harry pulled his wild hair away from his face into a bun and dropped his bag in the corner of the room. He glanced over the neatly sorted piles of books. This was comforting and familiar.
He collected a stack and headed into the shop.
Severus sat at the kitchen table in silence. He stared at the empty chair across from him. Harry had called when he had been cooking dinner and informed him that he was fine. He had sounded happy and much lighter than he had the night before.
Severus was glad that Harry was having a good day. He hoped that things would continue to improve.
He groaned as he poked at the meal on his plate. He had unceremoniously tossed a copy of the boy's medical records through the floo to Lupin. He'd informed them that the boy did not want to see them. Then he'd spent the rest of the day hiding out in the lab.
Sitting here now though and knowing that the boy wasn't on his way home to join him left an empty feeling in Severus' heart. Harry had become part of his routine. Now with him gone it felt like something was missing.
Severus chastised himself. All he had wanted all summer was for things to go back to normal, so that he could enjoy his summer. Now that it was actually happening, he was pouting.
Severus grumbled to himself as he stood and dumped what was left on his plate in the trash and washed his dishes.
He sighed as he made his way through the house. He wasn't sure how a child that was nearly silent, could leave a house so quiet when they were gone.
He made his way into the office and took a seat at his desk. He planned to work on his research for a while. He looked to the corner of his desk were his ink and quill sat and furrowed his brows. Next to his pot of ink was a small leather bag sitting on top of a scrap of parchment.
Severus raised an eyebrow as he reached for the bag. The sound of coins sliding against one another was obvious when the bag was moved.
He picked up the note underneath.
Professor Snape,
Thank you for everything you did for me. This is to compensate you for feeding and housing me. I know you never wanted that, so thank you for allowing me to stay. I hope you are now able to enjoy your summer without a dunderhead under foot. See you on Friday.
Harry Potter
Severus set the note down and pulled the bag open in curiosity. He wondered what the boy thought it had cost Severus to house him for less than a month.
Severus' jaw fell slack when he pulled the bag open and realized there were hundreds of galleons in it.
Severus closed the bag and sat back in his chair. Harry either had no concept of money or was just being overly generous. The boy had stayed in an unused room, and likely hadn't eaten more food then Severus might have wasted living here on his own.
He patted his pocket and pulled out the envelopes Mary had given him. The boy had paid everyone that had helped him. It twisted something in Severus. The boy couldn't just except a kind gesture as just that. Severus opened a drawer in his desk and placed the envelopes and bag inside. Then he cast a locking spell at it. He would make sure the money was returned to Harry one way or another.
With a deep sigh he set to his work.
Sirius walked into the kitchen with a yawn and ran a hand through his messy hair. He stopped when he saw Remus sitting quietly at the kitchen table. He looked pale and was just staring into space. There was a stack of parchments on the table in front of him.
Sirius stepped closer.
"Remus?" Sirius called.
Remus startled and looked over to him. His cheeks blushed a little and he shook his head.
"What's going on?" Sirius said pulling out a chair and joining Remus at the table.
Last night had been a difficult night for them both. They'd avoided talking about what had happened at Snapes. Choosing instead to head to bed early. Sirius had struggled to sleep and had spent much of the night tossing and turning.
"Severus sent Harry's medical file." Remus said softly.
Sirius looked down at the stack of parchment. He recognized the top page as the one that Snape had given them in the hospital wing on Friday.
Sirius swallowed hard. It was a rather thick stack of parchment.
"Have you read it?" Sirius asked softly.
Remus shook his head.
"Severus told me Harry doesn't want to see us. He just shoved this through the floo." Remus answered.
Sirius ran his hand through his hair.
Harry had been pretty clear that he needed space from them. He wondered if Snape had told Harry that they had requested the diagnostic. Was Harry upset with them for this or still just feeling overwhelmed about everything else?
He watched Remus carefully. He looked hurt. Sirius could understand that. He was struggling with his own emotions about Harry pushing them away.
"What are you thinking?" Sirius asked.
Remus shrugged.
"I want to know what our son has had to endure. But I'm afraid of what I will find." Remus said quietly, looking down at the top page.
Sirius nodded. He was also nervous about what they might read. Snape had painted a pretty grim picture. Though they both knew that he had not told them everything. With a deep breath he looked away from the parchment and to Remus.
"We should do this together." Sirius replied.
Remus bit his lip and nodded.
Sirius scooted his chair closer to Remus and pulled him into a tight hug.
"No matter what, we love our pup. Like you said last night, this is for his own good. He's not going to like that we have this but it's better that we know. So that we can help him heal. I…I feel sick that something I did upset Harry. I don't want to make more mistakes like that." Sirius said softly.
He had felt gutted when Remus had explained Harry's reaction to Sirius having taken his shoes off. He hadn't meant any harm.
"This won't keep us from making mistakes Siri. I'm certain that we will. It will give us a starting point for understanding things that might be triggering for him though. This also only gives us what left a physical mark." Remus said swallowing hard.
"We have no idea what Harry has faced. What he has had to live through. His obsessive cleaning is evidence of the kind of emotional abuse he faced growing up." Remus said quietly, meeting Sirius eyes.
Sirius nodded his understanding.
Remus took a deep breath before he removed the top sheet, and they began to read what their son's life had been like.
Sirius sat quietly on the front steps of the cabin staring out into the woods. His mind couldn't wrap around everything he had read. They'd finished looking over the papers an hour ago and he'd needed fresh air. His emotions felt like a raging storm in his mind. He didn't know whether to feel murderous or devastated and so he sat in a numb haze. He had pulled up his strongest occlumency walls and let the war battle behind it.
The guilt welled as an ever-present force in his chest. His mistakes haunted him from just behind the wall. He felt silent tears fall down his cheeks.
He felt so lost on how to help Harry. The fact that Harry was still alive at all was a miracle. A wave of utter hopelessness crashed over him. He screamed into the wind at the horrors his son had been forced to face.
Harry's week progressed unremarkably. He had gone back to a similar schedule to the one he had enjoyed before ending up at Snapes. He would wake up early and work on his research, eat breakfast at the diner, work at the grocery store. Then he would go to the park and check on Edgar. Then he'd return to the Book Nook and help Mary. When they were finished, He would call Snape and check in. Then he would walk Mary home and cook dinner. They had returned to their evening conversations and Harry had been told several stories of his mother as a child. Harry had noticed that Mary seemed to cautiously avoid mentioning Snape.
He was now sat cross legged on his bed, deep in his research. He was close to cracking the last piece of the puzzle, he was sure. He thought that if he could find it in the next few weeks perhaps Remus would only have to suffer through one or two more moons.
Harry bit his lip. Today was Friday and he would be headed to Snapes in a few hours to go to Hogwarts for training. He was thankful to continue training. Despite everything else happening in his life, his mind never wandered far from the fact that they were at war.
Harry turned the page and nibbled at a granola bar. He had found having regular snacks helped him not feel quite as sick at meals. Mary had even commented that it seemed he was eating more at meals. He had blushed red at her comment and apologized. Mary had been quick to tell him that she was glad he was eating more, and that he was always welcome to eat as much as he wanted.
Harry had felt warm at the care in her tone.
Harry's eyes bulged as he read a line in his book.
This was it. This is what he needed. Harry leapt off of his bed with a whoop of success. He felt a giggle bubbling up in his chest.
He'd found it. The last piece!
Harry read the passage again to make sure it had said what he thought it had. With a firm nod Harry quickly scribbled down the vital information.
Harry was practically bouncing. He couldn't wait to tell Sirius. Then he felt like a lead balloon dropped into his stomach. Snape had given them the diagnostic. They knew what a freak he was now. Harry blew out a deep breath and sat hard on the edge of his bed.
He closed his eyes and took slow deep breaths. He hoped that this research would start to make up for all the mistakes he had made. He loved Remus and he knew how painful his condition was. He hoped this would help him.
Perhaps his discovery would give him some value in their eyes. The Dursleys had always seen him as worthless. He knew he was.
Harry shook the idea from his mind. It didn't matter what they thought. He wasn't doing this to look better to them. This was his way of apologizing. Of beginning to pay Remus back for everything he had done for him.
Harry looked down at his research and felt the bubble of excitement again. He took a clean sheet of parchment from the stack next to his bed and began writing a clean copy of the potion and spell that would be needed. He tried to write as neatly as he could, though his hand seemed shakier then normal this morning. He'd taken his potions, but he didn't think that one was helping much.
When he finished his excitement had bubbled back to a roaring boil. He couldn't wait to share it. He gathered all of his research and the books he wanted for reference and shoved them into his bag.
With his bag over his shoulder, he headed out. It was still early but he simply couldn't sit still any longer. He wondered if Snape would be angry with him if he showed up early. He was meant to arrive by nine, but it was just now a little past six.
Harry practically skipped down the empty street. Nothing was open yet and the sun was rising in a spectacular show of color.
He headed to the park to feed Edgar. He figured he could stall for a while before heading to Snapes. He just hoped this Friday could be better than all the other Friday's of this summer. They'd become nearly as problematic as Halloween's had always been.
Harry raised a slightly shaky hand and knocked twice on the door. His body was wracked with nerves. He was excited about what he had done. He wanted to share it but he was also worried he'd made a mistake. Sirius had been working on this problem for who knows how long. Harry knew he wasn't as smart as Sirius. Maybe he had just gotten ahead of himself.
He bit his lip as he waited. He hoped Snape was awake. He had sat in the park for nearly an hour, but he'd gotten too antsy and finally just headed for Snapes.
With a slight creak the door swung open, and Snape stood there dressed in his black teaching attire. There was a hint of a smile on his face. Snape seemed happy to see him.
Harry's previous excitement returned, and he beamed at his professor. Today was going to be a good day.
"Good morning, Professor." Harry said brightly.
"Good morning." Snape said neutrally, with a nod.
Snape stepped back and Harry walked into the house. He was determined to have a good day.