Chapter 5
After school, Eddy picked up Nastia, while she sat, looking out of the window at some things. Eddy smiled a kind smile. "So, this will be fun…the evening with Ms. Bellum". "She'll be excellent for you to see". Eddy said, kindly with gentleness. Nastia nodded, bringing forth a small smile. She knew it would be worthwhile to see Ms. Bellum.
Inside, the office smelled homey…much like a nicely scented candle, or a bubble bath. Nastia looked around, as she came into the office, seeing Ms. Bellum. "Hello…hello?". "Are you Ms. Bellum?". Nastia asked, with the added nervousness of meeting someone new. "Hello, darling…you must be Nastia". "Welcome…please come on in and sit down". "I've been expecting you". Ms. Bellum said, gently with kind warmth. A smile curved across her small, thick, painted lips.
Ms. Bellum spoke in a sultry, feminine, wise manner that made her sound educated. "How are you this evening, honey?". "Did you have a nice day at school?". Ms. Bellum asked, in a warm, soothing, welcoming manner. "I indeed did…Thank you for asking". Nastia replied.
"I'm happy that you did, honey". Ms. Bellum said, warmly. Ms. Bellum smiled, as she brought over some cinnamon, and Oat Milk cocoa.
"Thank you". Nastia replied. Ms. Bellum set the tray with cocoa down, and wrapped a blanket around Nastia, kindly. "This is just in case you feel cold, sweetie". "I turned the heat up a bit…we should be fine". Ms. Bellum said, warmly with gentleness. She and Nastia shared a laugh, and a smile.
"So, I hope you enjoy your cocoa…it's made with a hint of cinnamon, and a base of Oat Milk…chocolate Oat Milk that's made with a Gluten Free extract". Ms. Bellum said, gently.
Nastia took a sip of the cocoa. "It tastes wonderful, Thank you". Nastia replied. Ms. Bellum smiled. "I thought I'd make something we'd both enjoy". "Hot cocoa is one of my favorites". Ms. Bellum said, gently.
"It's my favorite as well…and look, little marshmallows in there". Nastia said. "Yes, I added those for effect". "It should be tasty". Ms. Bellum said, kindly. Nastia nodded.
"So, how was your day at school, honey?". "Was it a good one?". Ms. Bellum asked, kindly with gentleness. "It was fine enough…I've tested at the high school, collegiate level, though I'm only 6…I'm not sure…it was fine". Nastia said.
"You're very ahead of everyone in terms of skill level". Ms. Bellum said, warmly. "You've tested at a savant's level….that's impressive". "I'm very enamored by that".
Nastia nodded. "I am as well". Nastia replied.
"So, your brother, Eddy tells me that you've been having trouble sleeping". "Is this true?". Ms. Bellum asked, warmly with gentleness. "I have had some trouble sleeping…just a bit". Nastia replied. "I kind of…I don't know why…I go to bed early".
Ms. Bellum nodded, as her lips seemed to glow in the evening shade, and dim light. "I've heard from your older brother that you've been having nightmares". Ms. Bellum said, warmly with softness. "Is that true?".
Nastia nodded. "Yes, but they're not bad….really". "I just feel….like…they're something I really don't feel bothered by". "And if I am bothered by them, it's only in a minor amount". Nastia said.
Ms. Bellum pursed her lips. "A minor amount sounds viable enough". "In order to vilify that statement, one would need to understand the nonnegative in that statement stating that you feel traumatized after these nightmares". "And according to your older brother's reports, you've been losing a lot of sleep from these nightmares". Ms. Bellum explained in a warm, softened manner.
Nastia looked around for a moment. "Well, I've lost some sleep, I'm not sure how much I lost….I know it was some sleep". "I don't remember". Nastia said.
"Maybe and perhaps you forget….because, it's been playing keepaway with your sleep cycle". Ms. Bellum said, warmly with softness. "But in any case, your nightmares are interfering with your routine…your circadian rhythms, and your emotions during the day". "They're interfering with your ability to reason, and think through certain aspects and things". Ms. Bellum explained warmly with gentle softness. "I've noticed that a bit". Nastia stated.
"But in any case, you've been having a bit of trouble behind this aspect….and I'm sure it's nothing to worry about…but just to foster curiosity, and safety, let's take a closer look at it". Ms. Bellum stated kindly with warmth. "That sounds viable enough". Nastia replied.
"What's been happening in your nightmares?". Ms. Bellum asked warmly with gentleness. She crossed her legs. "Well, some things have been happening…in one dream, I was afraid of the world ending, in one dream, I was afraid of losing my mom….there was a lot I was afraid of". Nastia said.
Ms. Bellum nodded, kindly. "When you were younger, you lost someone very important to you….someone that you thought you'd never lose at that age….your other adoptive parents….at age 3". Ms. Bellum said, softly with gentleness. "Could you tell me about that….if possible?". Ms. Bellum wrote some things down on a notepad.
"Well, when I was 3….I don't really remember, I was kind of….I was really young, the year was 1995…and…I was very little, but I kind of remember hearing that my parents were in a car accident, and then, I woke up the next day, and all of a sudden, I didn't have any more family". Nastia explained. Ms. Bellum nodded. "Were you scared in that moment?". "Did you feel afraid that you would be taken from your home?". Ms. Bellum asked in a kind, gentle, soothing manner.
"I don't really remember". "I just kind of remember…I'm not sure….I just remember kind of…being by myself….for the longest time…maybe it was scary". Nastia replied. "But being without my mom and dad….I felt empty and hollow….like a sense of abandonment was there…and for the longest time, I was angry…but at another time, I was no longer angry…I was just sad…..and I was sad because….they were my parents….they died in a car accident…which I know wasn't their fault, it was the fault of the driver who just kept speeding on while they were hit, and their car was damaged". "I feel angry at him….or her….whoever they are, and I hope they can be found". "That way, they can be brought to justice". Nastia said.
Ms. Bellum nodded, kindly. "Do you feel angry at your parents for passing away?". "Do you feel angry at the incident for happening?". Ms. Bellum asked, gently with kind softness, as she sipped her cocoa. "I do….because…those are my parents….they passed away…and….I don't know what to do". "I sometimes feel lost without them….and it's much harder now, because….my new mom and dad travel for work, so, I never really get to see them". Nastia said. Ms. Bellum nodded, kindly. "You feel as if they're not playing the role of parents very well….because, they're always away". Ms. Bellum said, gently in a softened whisper. Nastia took a sip of her cocoa, nodding. "That's exactly what it is". Nastia replied.
"And you feel as if you've never had a true "mom and dad", because each one you've known has passed away". Ms. Bellum whispered, gently with a kind softness.
"I do sometimes feel that way….which is kind of sad…however, it's quite accurate". Nastia replied. "I feel like I have no parents…which is weird because….every child is supposed to have an active, and present, mom and dad". "I feel like I have neither". Nastia glanced around.
Ms. Bellum nodded. "You only have your older brother beside you….which is quite common…however, you would feel much more accomplished with both parents….I understand that…I completely know how you feel". "It's common for children to feel this way…and as your new friend, I intend to alleviate the process in any way I can". Ms. Bellum whispered, kindly with gentleness. "What can I do…because I'm angry, and scared, and I'm sad….I don't know what to do". Nastia said. She drank more of her cocoa…which was warming, and softened, inviting on a cold, Fall day.
"Well, the main question we should ask is…..do you forgive the past?". "Do you forgive what happened, and are you willing to make peace with what you've experienced?". "The most important part in determining the essence of the future, is to make peace with the past….and all of our mistakes". Ms. Bellum said, in a gentle, kind, softened voice.
Nastia glanced around for a moment. She nodded. "Do you forgive what happened?". "Because there should be a way to let this anger go….it's a main part in improving ourselves". Ms. Bellum said, soothingly with gentle softness. "Well, I'm not sure how….can you show me?". Nastia asked. Ms. Bellum smiled a gentle, kind smile. She looked around, finding something in her pocket. It looked like a locket…which inside the locket was a picture of Nastia's first adoptive mom and dad.
"What is that….and what are you doing with it?". Nastia asked with a bit of defensiveness in her voice. "Do you remember this, perhaps?". "This is what your mom and dad gave you….when you were first adopted….and when you came to the United States for the first time". "This is their gift to you…a locket that means love". Ms. Bellum whispered, kindly with a soothing, gentle quality to her nice voice.
Nastia nodded, picking up the locket. "I kind of remember this…maybe only a little bit…I'm not sure….however, my parents had this….this is amazing that they had it". "And they gave it to me". "They were telling me that they loved me….and that….I was forever going to be theirs". "However long forever was". Nastia said, as she examined the locket.
"It was for a long time….the longest time they could think of…and below the picture of them, is a picture of you….and your mom and dad holding you the day they brought you home….it's a bit in there, but on the inside it reads, "Nastia….our greatest gift". Ms. Bellum whispered, gently with kindness. "That's sweet, but….it makes me miss them….a lot". "I don't know how it makes me feel, really". Nastia said, with emotion behind her voice.
"I'm not sure, either". "And I'm not one to decide for you….that's something that's uniquely yours to befall". "If you decide to, you can go on ahead, and feel something…whatever it might be…that's up to you". Ms. Bellum explained in a wise, gentle, kind manner.
Nastia looked away for a moment. "Maybe, this might help us out a bit more". Ms. Bellum said, kindly with a softened, loving, warmth as she took a teddy bear from behind the chair. She showed Nastia the teddy bear, pushing a button on the teddy bear's back, while the bear spoke. In a conjoined recording, the voices narrating a dialogue belonged to her late, adoptive parents.
"Nastia, honey….we came in, because…we wanted to tell you goodnight". "And we wished to tell you that we love you….you mean the world to us…in every aspect….and even so, we are so appreciative of you….that we adopted you…we always knew that a part of us belonged to you…and a part of you belonged to us". "Whatever happens, we are right beside you…as your guardian angels….because, you have given us everything…at night when you lay down to sleep, dream of us…because we're dreaming of you….we will always be there for you….to love you, hold you, protect you, and kiss you goodnight, rock you to sleep in the cradle of comfort". "You are our darling….and you will always be….remember to…love today, treat today like a gift…because…after all, it is the present". "Hee hee, and….remember to forgive anything that happens, because fate is like a flower, after a storm produces a seedling, maybe…maybe not wanted, it can produce a beautiful outcome". "Goodnight now, darling…remember that we love you…and a part of you belongs to us….and a part of us belongs to you….and if anything should happen, you'll be safe in the arms of Professor Utonium". "But nothing will happen to us…we love you….we'll be in the stars, all around you….and forever in your heart…goodnight now, our beautiful, Nastia".
The bear's mouth moved as he spoke. When the recording ended, the bear stopped moving, and talking. "My…my….my parents made that for me?". Nastia asked….a bit bewildered.
"Yes, darling….your adoptive mom and dad recorded that for you….and decided to add some sage advice to the recording….because, they know how much you mean to them". "Did you happen to notice the bit of advice they gave?". Ms. Bellum asked in a gentle, kind, soothing whisper. "I did happen to notice…they told me to forgive whatever happened…because fate is like a flower, germinated without welcome at first, but then producing something beautiful and mystifying later". Nastia said.
Ms. Bellum smiled a kind smile. "What I took from that lesson, was that forgiveness of the past is imperative". "You've survived it….you've been nourished from it….you found a loving family….and…something beautiful was made from it". Ms. Bellum said, soothingly in a gentle, kind, soothing, warm manner. Nastia nodded, smiling a half smile. "I suppose I should listen….they are, after all, the smartest people I've ever met…besides you, of course, Ms. Bellum". Nastia said. Ms. Bellum's lips curved into a kind smile. "I know it's hard…the grieving process…but eventually, we all find our way….we just need a little wisdom every now and again". "Parents are the most sage advisors we find in our worlds". "What they say, and mean…is key". Ms. Bellum said, soothingly with gentle kindness. "That is true….and I think I might listen to my parents….because they mean well". Nastia replied. She finished her cocoa.
"Here now, sweetheart….this bear can be yours to cuddle with, share some love with, and have a nice time with". "You deserve a piece of your parents….and a demarcation item…rectifying that you've forgiven the past…and now, you'll look to the future". Ms. Bellum said, soothingly with loving gentleness.
Nastia nodded. "I definitely will…thanks to your sage advice". "Hopefully, the future will be just as nice". Nastia said. Ms. Bellum smiled. "It might be even better than you've expected". Ms. Bellum said, soothingly with kindness.
"It just might be". Nastia replied. Ms. Bellum smiled a kind smile. "Don't fret…whatever happens, we'll figure out….over time". Ms. Bellum said, with a soothing gentleness.
Nastia nodded. Ms. Bellum looked around. "Well, I believe this is the end of our session…it was nice having you come in". "Before we wrap up, is there anything else you'd like to discuss?". Ms. Bellum asked in a gentle, soothing, loving voice. Nastia shook her head. "I feel wonderful and free already". "Thank you for the help". Nastia said. Ms. Bellum and Nastia shared a laugh, and a smile. "That's always nice, darling". "I feel wonderful being in your company". Ms. Bellum said, gently with a softened kindness. "And I feel wonderful in your company as well". Nastia said.
Ms. Bellum helped Nastia from her chair, taking her finished cocoa to the small sink. "Mmm, it seemed like you were enjoying the cocoa". "It was a delicious treat for a colder day". Ms. Bellum said, kindly with soothingness. "It indeed was….I really enjoyed it…Thank you, Ms. Bellum". Nastia replied.
"You're very welcome, honey". "Thank you as well". Ms. Bellum said, soothingly with gentleness.
Ms. Bellum came to Nastia…giving her a warm, softened, kiss on the forehead, and cheeks. "I love you". Ms. Bellum said, in a warm, soothing voice. "I love you too". Nastia replied, as she felt the warm hug Ms. Bellum gave as well. She felt Ms. Bellum's breast almost popped out from her button down shirt.
"You can keep the blanket if you wish, honey". Ms. Bellum said, warmly with kind softness. "Fuzzy warm".
Nastia looked upwards. "Are you sure?". She asked. "I am certain, honey". "What's mine is yours, we share everything, sweetie". "Now…have a wonderful evening…I'll see you on Thursday". Ms. Bellum said, in a warm, gentle voice. "See you". Nastia replied. Nastia met Eddy outside, while he talked with Ms. Bellum. They went home, feeling much more enthused, and much more confident.