—CALLING HOME—
—J
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Being forcefully dragged into a bone-crunching embrace felt like every ounce of oxygen was being sucked out of my lungs. I wrapped my hands tightly around the arms of my sleeping partner and relished the smells of her natural scent.
"Why do you smell so good all the time?" I asked, needing to know more behind her big secret.
"I wasn't aware I did," responded Lisa, gently biting my bare shoulder from behind.
"You do. Like vanilla and lavender."
Her stilled movements momentarily became a worry before she continued with her hot kisses, each one leaving a burning trail behind.
"It's the body wash Mum used to buy in. I still like to use it," she admitted, quietly so.
Christmas would mark ten years since the accident which, coincidently, was also around about the same time Lisa admitted she started having feelings for me. It was no secret she still mourned for her Mum and in a way, so did I. Claire had been my Mum's best friend at the time of her death and part of the reason why Lisa and I remained so close whilst growing up. They were always together and wherever they went, Lisa and I weren't too far behind.
"That's nice. I bet it makes you feel closer to her," I replied, turning from my spooning position as to better view her.
She appeared to be her usual self, though with the added blush from this morning's little roll around.
"I don't really smell it anymore. I guess over time I got used to it and it faded," she stated, sounding sad.
"Well, I certainly can and I love it," I told her, planting a quick kiss on her chin. "It reminds me of you and when I smell it I feel…safe," I offered, burying my face in her chest after saying so.
She laughed at my mild embarrassment and pulled on my cheeks, keen to see my blushing cheeks.
"I'm glad it does," she stated, plonking a sloppy kiss on my lips.
"We should do something special for her this year. Since it's the tenth anniversary."
"That'll be nice. What do you have in mind?" she asked, inheriting a curious tone.
I slyly slipped into the Lisa cave and purposely kissed her collarbone, thinking up my not-so-genius reply.
"Not sure? Maybe we could plant a tree?" I suggested, thinking my idea sounded naff.
"I like that. She always did like rose bushes. Maybe we could plant one in the park near Dad's?"
"Yeah," I whispered, rolling my body on top of her after silence consumed us both for a while. "Shall we concentrate on getting you a job before we worry about all that?"
I knew she was getting anxious over her lack of purpose lately and I wanted to help change that.
"We could carry on looking tonight after you finish work?" she offered.
Lately, going into work felt about as uplifting as doing the dishes after Christmas dinner. No one in particular wanted to do it but the job was always left for someone to pick up. That someone being me.
"I could do with some help," she then stressed, though I knew she was only doing so to be nice.
Lisa didn't need my help in applying. If anything, I was more of a hindrance.
"Of course I'll help. It's my fault after all," I squeaked, hating that I was the reason behind her having to look elsewhere.
"What have I told you about blaming yourself? What happened wasn't your fault," she insisted, positioning my legs at either side of her hips.
"Maybe so but you're jobless because of what happened and I feel responsible."
"Well don't. I don't blame you one bit. This is a good thing. We'll both get new jobs and start afresh," she smiled, still remaining optimistic for me.
Francesca had said I'd find out if I was successful in the following week or so and although the interview had gone extremely well, I was determined not to get my hopes up. Who knew how well the other applicants did? For all I knew, Ralph Lauren himself might've shown up for the position.
Unlikely, yes. Impossible, no.
"Maybe if we both start earning enough money we could move in together?" I replied, kissing her lips before making my way further down her body.
"What?"
Shit!
Why the hell did I say that?
"Not that I'm rushing you. I just think about these things from time to time. It's always wise to plan ahead, ya know?"
Lisa glared her wide-eyed gaze into mine and without so much as saying so, knowingly agreed to my suggestion.
"I think that sounds fucking amazing," she replied, smug as ever. "The best idea you've had all morning, in fact."
..
Work was an absolute headache and as much as I wanted to scream the place down, I remained professional to the best of my ability, painstakingly so. If my shift had taught me anything, it was that I needed to get another job ASAP and preferably one not in hospitality. Working alongside the general public just wasn't doing it for me anymore. Twice I had a small child wipe its snot on me and if one more woman with an 'I'd like to speak to the manager' haircut complained to me; I would've resorted to actual violence.
"Jennie, you okay, sweets?" asked Joy, checking on me for the umpteenth time.
She always could tell when something wasn't right.
"Yeah, fine. You?" I smiled, not wanting to take my anger out on her.
"I'm good. Why don't you shoot off early? We're quiet here and I won't clock you out until five," she winked, ever the fucking Saint.
"Are you sure? I don't mind sticking around," I insisted, doing so out of obligation as opposed to wanting to stay.
Secretly, I was desperate to go home.
"Of course, go spend the night with that new fella of yours," she laughed, indeed referring to Lisa, who had surprised me earlier with a visit.
She'd shown up after lunch with a huge smile and enough charisma to outdo anyone, insisting I accompany her on a date this evening. Her reasoning had been nothing other than, "Just because," and whilst neither of us was in the position to splurge, she'd promised me a night in with Chinese food, a movie and lots of sex. Of course, Jack had been present and Lisa had been only too keen to state her claim on me and did so by gifting me a filthy snog on her way out.
"Joy, you're a star!" I told her, ripping off my apron and throwing it on the hook. "Make sure to close up on time, okay?" I warned, knowing what she was like —Hard working and too bloody kind.
"Will do, I promise!" she ensured, shooing me out with a waft of her towel.
I decided to surprise Lisa by showing up at her flat earlier than planned and figured I might as well call Mum on my way over there. I never did get a chance to phone her back after her freezer fiasco and plenty had gone on in my life that I felt she needed to be caught up on.
"Hello?"
She answered after the first ring.
"Mum, you free to talk?" I asked, hoping she was.
"Of course I am, sweetheart. Darren's building me a vegetable patch. How hippy am I?" she gushed, making me smile.
"That sounds…interesting."
"It'll save on our weekly food shop, that's for sure," she informed, proud as punch. "Anything new with you, darling?" she questioned, finally swaying from the topic of veg.
Between her and Rosé, it was a wonder I wasn't sprouting broccoli from my ears.
"Erm, kind of," I offered, instantly gaining her attention.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I'm seeing someone," I added, blushing for reasons unknown to me.
I carefully crossed the road opposite the fish n chip shop and made my way down the narrow street, heading for Castlehaven Road.
"You are? Tell me about him. Is he tall, dark and handsome?" she enquired, excited in her saying so.
"It's she, and yes, yes and yes," I laughed, feeling giddy just mentioning it. "I think I might be falling for her, Mum," I continued, chewing on my bottom lip.
"Hmm.. She. Already? Is that not a bit soon?" she asked, ever the realist.
"Not exactly."
I inhaled a deep breath and released it all in one go, ready to drop the dreaded bomb-shell.
"I've known her a while now."
"You have?"
"Yeah."
"From work?"
"No."
Silence.
"It's Lisa, Mum."
I allowed her the space she may have needed to wrap her head around my declaration. Although a huge fan of Lisa's, I worried her reaction to me seeing Lisa would be less than what I had been expecting. She loved and treated Lisa as though her own, but loving someone and seeing them as a potential fit for your daughter was something entirely different all together.
"You finally realised it then?"
Wait? What?
"It's about bloody time. When did this happen?"
"What do you mean it's about time?" I questioned, wary of her insinuation.
She released a dramatic sigh, letting me know just how very put out she was by all of it.
"Jennie, since you mentioned it's she, I knew it. that girl has been in love with you for years. Claire and I had your wedding planned by the time you were both ten," she laughed, finding the entire situation hilarious.
I struggled to make sense of what she was saying and rather sternly pulled her up on it.
"If you knew, why didn't you tell me?"
"Jennie, darling, it wasn't my place to tell you. It was up to Lisa."
Nine, maybe ten years played on an endless loop in my mind. I slowed down my pace to prolong my arrival at Lisa's, not wanting to end my phone call with Mum just yet. It had been ages since I last spoke to her properly and I found I was taking comfort from her voice.
"So you're falling for your best friend, are you?"
"Looks like it."
"You didn't answer my question. How did it happen?"
The thought of telling her the truth felt like confessing my sins to a Priest and whilst I prided myself on telling her everything, some dirty details were simple to remain unsaid.
"Long story short; we got drunk, did something silly, then Lisa confessed her feelings for me," I replied, hoping this explanation would satisfy.
"And you feel the same?"
Her question was as justifiable as it was concerning and as I came to realise just how deeply involved I was with Lisa, I couldn't help but smile.
"Absolutely."
"Oh, thank goodness," she hollered, sounding nothing short of theatrical. "Darren, get the wedding brochures out, Jennie's getting married!"
"Christ Mum, we've been dating two weeks and you've married us off already!" I exclaimed, seating myself on an uncomfortable wall opposite Lisa's.
"Kid's anorl," she insisted, tipping me over the edge.
"Oh bloody hell, Mum, I'm leaving before you pick out their names!" I laughed, threatening her with my departure.
"Already done, darling," she certified, not even ashamed. "Although Claire and I were big fans of Westlife back then, so you may be partial to the odd Shane here and Brian there."
"Bye. I'm going now!" I giggled, heading towards Lisa's front door.
"Love you, sweetheart."
"Love you too," I laughed, mockingly so.
She waited a moment before continuing.
"I'm happy for you, baby," she insisted, getting emotional.
"Thanks, Mum. I'm happy for me too."
The line went silent and for a moment, I was convinced she had already hung up.
"Give my love to Lisa."
Nope, still there.
"Will do."
And with that, we said our goodbyes.
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