Title: Recycled Nightmares
Fandom: TMNT 2003
Word Count: 4949
Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl
Rating: T
Characters: Donatello, Leonardo
Warning: NA
Summary: During his first childhood, Don didn't have nightmares. This time around, Don seems to be having quite a few—including ones where Leo is the only one who can comfort him. But whey they figure out why, it wasn't what they were expecting.
Notes: Part of the Little Don AU, an AU I've had forming in my head where, during a crisis with the Time Scepter, Don sacrificed himself to save everything. Instead of it killing him, though, it turned him into a baby, and his family has needed to raise him all over again.
Recycled Nightmares
A shriek split the silent night. High pitched and terrified, it broke the silence like glass shattering, jolting everyone in the lair to wakefulness. A second shriek, this time, with a name, or at least as much of one as the voice could pronounce, split the air again.
"EEEEEEOOOOOO!"
Leo shot out of bed and moved faster than he had ever moved in his life. He snatched his swords up as he ran, not even bothering to put the strap on, and pulled one out even as he practically flew to Donnie's room, somehow passing both Raph and Mikey, who were also moving quickly.
The door to Donnie's room was open, but so was Splinter's. With Donnie barely being one, they still kept his room on the bottom floor and close to Splinter's in case he needed anything. Splinter had, obviously, gotten there first, but Leo wasn't far behind, and he all but burst into the room they had renovated for their now-baby brother.
Leo stood for a moment, his eyes sweeping over the room, katana out and ready but there didn't seem to be any threat. He could hear Raph and Mikey come up behind him, feel how ready they were, but there didn't seem to be a threat. Just Splinter, holding a crying and wailing baby turtle, trying to comfort him without success.
"I believe he had a nightmare," Splinter said over Donnie's wails.
There was a second's pause, and then they all relaxed a little. Leo sheathed his katana and let out a breath. "I'm glad that's all it was."
"Scared the shell outta me," Raph said, huffing out a breath.
Donnie was still crying, but it seemed to have quieted a touch.
Leo frowned. "Let's check the perimeter anyway," he said, looking back at Splinter. "Just to be sure. We want to make sure that nothing got in."
"A wise precaution, my son," Splinter said, still attempting to soothe the still crying Donnie.
Leo turned to leave, and Donnie started wailing again.
"Eo! Eo, Eo, Eo, Eo!"
"I think you're being paged, bro," Mikey said as they all turned back around.
Donnie was looking at him, distress on his face, and reaching his hands out towards him. Leo blinked for a second, surprised. It wasn't that Donnie didn't come to him. No, he went to all of them freely. It was just unusual for him to be this insistent on it.
Setting his swords down, Leo walked up to Splinter and took Donnie from him. The little turtle immediately latched on, crying and sniffling, but holding tightly to him. He babbled between his cries, and Leo had no idea what he was saying, besides his name. Still, he held onto his little brother and rocked him gently.
"It's alright, little brother. I've got you," he said. "You're safe. We're all safe."
"Mike and I'll go check around," Raph said, watching the scene. "You can join us after Donnie calms down."
Leo nodded. "Sounds good," he said, still holding the distraught Donnie. He watched as his other two brothers left, and then looked at Splinter. "What do you think got Donnie so upset?" he asked as he tried to calm his baby brother.
Splinter shook his head. "I do not know. He is too small to verbalize much to us," he said, running a hand on Donnie's head. "Hopefully, whatever it was, it will leave him soon."
"I hope so," Leo said, looking down at the still crying Donnie.
It took almost an hour for Donnie to stop wailing, and another thirty minutes after that for him to stop crying completely. Leo attempted to pass him back to Splinter, but the moment Donnie was out of Leo's arms, he started wailing again. Eventually, Leo gave up, and just took Donnie out to the couch, where he wrapped them both up, and they slept together. Come morning Donnie refused to let go of Leo and started crying anytime Leo put him down. He wanted no one and nothing but Leo and refused the rest of his family completely. None of them could figure out why the little boy was so upset, but he was, and they just had to deal with it.
Still, by that night, he went down fine, and the next day he was back to normal, laughing and playing with all of them again. The family just collectively shrugged and went about their day, thinking that perhaps it was a one-time thing.
It was two years later when another similar incident occurred. Nightmares, they had discovered, were not that uncommon for Donnie to experience. According to Splinter, Donnie didn't have nightmares when he was a child the first time. However, this time around, they were something that the family had learned to deal with. Tonight, another scream rent the night air, although this one started out by screaming Leo's name.
"YEEEEEYOOOO!"
It was a terrified, heart wrenching cry that once again had Leo flying out of his bed as fast as his feet could take him and to his little brother. His family was there with him, of course, Splinter already in the room, trying to console the three-year-old, but Donnie only screamed louder, almost hysterically, until he saw Leo. Then he reached for his brother and sobbed.
Leo wasted no time in scooping the toddler up, cradling him against his plastron and shushing him. "Another nightmare?" he asked, even as he tried to soothe his brother.
"I believe so," Splinter said.
"It's alright, buddy," Leo said to Donnie. "It's alright, I'm here."
Donnie's breath hitched as he cried, holding tightly to his oldest brother.
"You got this, bro?" Mikey asked from the doorway.
Leo nodded. "Yeah. You two go back to bed. I'll stay with Donnie."
His brothers filed out, but Splinter stayed with Leo, even as Leo tried to calm the tot. Eventually, Donnie's cried calmed, then quieted, and Leo gave his shell a few more rubs.
"There you go. It was just a dream. You're safe now. Why don't you let Father put you back to—"
Donnie's arms tightened on his neck, and his breathing started to catch again. Leo quickly backtracked. "Or I can stay with you tonight," he said.
Donnie seemed to calm a little at that, and Leo looked over at Splinter. "Looks like this one is mine, tonight," he said.
Splinter nodded. "Then I will leave you to it," he said.
Leo went over to Donnie's bed and laid down with the little turtle. Donnie pulled his blankets and an old, stuffed dinosaur to him, but he didn't ever completely let go of Leo.
"You had a bad dream, huh?" Leo said.
Donnie stared at him, but nodded "Mm-hm," he said.
"I'm sorry it scared you," Leo said. "Can you tell me what it was about?"
Donnie was quiet for a moment. "…Dere was a scawy man," he said.
"A scary man?" Leo repeated.
Donnie nodded. "Mm-hm. Gian'!"
"Oh, a giant," Leo said.
Donnie nodded. "Fi'e ev'eywhere!"
"Oh, that does sound scary," Leo said.
Donnie started tearing up again. "Yous hurt!" he said. "You 'er blee'ing and ha' losta owwies!"
Oh, that explained a lot. Leo reached out and pulled Donnie closer to him.
"Scawy," Donnie whispered.
Leo began making shushing noises again, doing his best to reassure his little brother. "It was a just a dream," he said. "I'm right here and I'm alright. No owwies, no bleeding. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."
Donnie huddled against him, eventually falling asleep cradled in Leo's arms. Leo laid awake for a little bit longer, thinking over what Donnie had said. A giant scary man with fire, and Leo hurt. It was probably from that new show that Mikey had been watching. Wasn't there a character named Leo on there? He'd talk to Mike in the morning. That might have to be a show that he watched only after Donnie went to bed.
Leo stayed with Donnie the whole night, and the next day Donnie followed Leo like a little shadow, staying as close as possible to his biggest brother, often clinging to him or asking to be picked up. The day after that he was alright, pretty much back to normal, but it did remind Leo of that time when Donnie was one, and he filed that in the back of his mind.
Three years later it wasn't a loud cry or a shriek that woke Leo up, but a stuttering, tear-filled little voice.
"L-l-l-le-ee-ee-o?"
Leo was awake instantly and rolling over to see the silhouette of his six-year-old brother in his doorway, clutching a blanket and an old dinosaur toy to him. Leo rolled out of bed, heading straight for Donnie.
"Donnie? Buddy, what's wrong?" he asked as he approached him.
Donnie sniffed, and Leo could see the tears forming in his eyes. He wasted no time, just reached down and scooped up his brother. Donnie immediately clung onto Leo, hard, and started to cry. Leo made his way back to his own bed, sitting down with his little brother and rocking him.
"Hey, hey, shhhh, little brother, I'm here. What's wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?"
Donnie shook his head at that question, but he didn't stop clinging or crying.
"Okay, that's good," Leo said. "Was it a nightmare?" he asked.
Donnie froze for half a second, and then nodded, still clinging and crying.
Leo nodded, and readjusted, scooting back so that the wall was to his shell.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Leo asked.
Donnie shook his head hard, and Leo got the message loud and clear.
"Do you want to sleep here tonight?" Leo asked Donnie softly, and to that, Donnie nodded. "Alright," Leo said, shifting to lay them both back. "You can sleep with me, and if you start to have another nightmare, I'll wake you up, okay?"
Donnie sniffed. "Okay," he said softly.
He clung to Leo even as he slowly fell asleep, but even after Donnie was asleep, Leo didn't try to move him. Instead, he just held his brother to him, and dropped off to sleep as well, making sure to keep Donnie safe and warm.
Donnie stuck like glue to Leo the next day, getting as close to him in training as he could, and following him everywhere. Leo had decided not to do some of the training he had planned on doing today because of it, and so he was sitting on the couch, watching some television while Donnie scribbled away on some paper.
Leo hadn't thought much of it. Donnie was always working on something, even now. It was usually some grand idea for a vehicle, or something that he could build, but sometimes he'd do things like plants or animals. Sometimes he tried to draw out the stories that his brothers told him. But most of the time it was a design for something.
So, when Leo shifted positions and glanced at what Donnie was drawing, well, he froze. He hadn't been expecting to see a black and gray figure with red eyes and spikes on the paper.
"Donnie," he said, keeping his voice calm. "Who's that?"
Donnie didn't look up at Leo, but his coloring slowed. "…It's the bad spikey man," he said.
"The bad spikey man?" Leo asked.
Donnie nodded. "Mm-hm. From my nightmare. The bad spikey man is there, and you're hurt really, really badly. We're at Aunt April and Uncle Casey's, and there's fire everywhere and a giant man that tries to hurt Aunt April." He paused his crayon slowing. "You're hurt so bad that when we get out of Aunt April and Uncle Casey's I don't know if you're alive or not."
Oh. Oh. No wonder Donnie wanted to stick so close to him after a dream like that. But Donnie wasn't supposed to have any of his memories from before. How was he dreaming about this?
Leo reached down and pulled Donnie up into his lap, cuddling the boy. Donnie didn't resist, cuddling into Leo, his paper crumpling slightly as he held onto it.
"I'm sorry," Leo said, his voice a little rough. "That… that sounds scary."
Donnie sniffed a little and nodded. "It is," he said his voice watery. "It's terrifying."
"I know," Leo said. "But I'm here, now, and I'm not hurt, and the bad spikey man can't hurt me or anyone."
Donnie let out a little noise of agreement, but curled into Leo and cried anyway. Leo let him, rocking him.
Later, when Donnie was down for his nap, Leo gathered up the pictures and went to Splinter with them, telling him what Donnie had told him. Splinter, like Leo, was disturbed at this, and spent the rest of Donnie's nap time contemplating what to do. Eventually the old rat decided it would be best to sit down as a family and explain what had happened to Donnie, in a child-friendly way, of course. They had decided long ago not to hide things from him, and this was no different, especially since he was already having nightmares about it.
When it was time, Leo got Donnie up from his nap, and the boy immediately cuddled into him, sleepily waking up. Leo smiled, enjoying the cuddles.
"Aunt April and Uncle Casey are coming over for dinner tonight," Leo said softly.
Donnie raised his head. "Are Gus and Marie coming, too?" he asked, clearly wanting to see his human cousins.
Leo shook his head. "Not tonight. Just April and Casey."
Donnie frowned. "Why not?" he asked. "They usually come, too."
"They're going to spend some time with their grandmother tonight," Leo said.
"Oh." Donnie frowned, and Leo could see that he was still thinking through the answer. It didn't completely satisfy the boy, but he wasn't contradicting it just yet. Leo wasn't too surprised. Donnie was good at ferreting out when things didn't make sense, and good at figuring out why, even if it took him a bit.
Still, the afternoon passed fairly quickly, Donnie still sticking close to Leo. By the time that April and Casey arrived in the lair, Leo was helping to cut up vegetables in the kitchen, Don by his side, carefully measuring things for Mikey.
"Hey guys," April greeted them as she walked into the kitchen.
"Hi, Aunt April!" Donnie said, his face lighting up at the woman.
"Heya, squirt," she said. "I brought some dessert!"
"Oooh, whaddya bring?" Mikey asked.
"Peach turnovers and ice cream," she said.
"Ohhhhh!" Donnie said, clapping his hands together.
"Just stick it in the oven, April," Mikey said. "It'll keep warm in there. The rest of the food is on the stove and almost done."
"Can do!" April slipped the dessert into the oven, and then turned to Donnie, hands on her hips. "So. What have you been up to, Squirt?"
Donnie chattered to April about his day, going into detail as Mikey, April and Leo finished up the food, Raph, Casey, and Splinter coming in to help set the table. It didn't take long for everyone to settle in, and dinner to start. It went well enough, with the family chatting about things, until supper was over.
Donnie sat in between Leo and April, eating and joining in on the conversation, but still obviously trying to figure out what was going on. He grew more suspicious when, after dinner was finished and the table cleared, dessert wasn't gotten out.
Donnie glanced at everyone. "What's going on?" he asked, looking a little nervous.
Leo reached over and pulled Donnie into his lap. "We need to talk to you," he said, keeping his voice gentle. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble. But it's still something we need to talk about."
Donnie turned uncertain eyes up at his brother. "Talk about what?" he asked.
"Your nightmare," Leo said.
Donnie shrunk back. "Oh," he said quietly. "What's—what's wrong with it? Is it 'cause when I have it, I wanna stay near Leo? I'm sorry."
"Wait—what do you mean, when you have it?" Leo asked. "You've had this dream before?"
Donnie shrunk back a little more and bit his lip. "Mm-hm," he said quietly. "It's always scary, 'cause you get so hurt, and I'm always scared that it's true," he whispered out. "I'm sorry if I bother you…"
That put a new perspective on things. He'd been having this nightmare before, and every time he wanted Leo? Leo looked up at his brothers and then over at his father. "Master, do you think—when he was a baby—"
"Perhaps," Splinter said. He turned his attention to Donnie. "My son," Splinter said, reaching over to cup Donnie's cheek. "No one is upset that you want to spend time with Leo after these dreams. However, we wish to know about them. Can you tell us about your nightmare last night? I have your drawings from today, if that helps."
Donnie was anxiously pulling at his fingers, but he nodded. "O-okay," he said, trusting his family. Splinter sat the drawings down in front of him, and Donnie looked at them for a minute, before looking back at his hands.
"Um… it always starts out in Uncle Casey and Aunt April's building, up in the apartment. We're all there, except Uncle Casey, Gus, and Marie. But I'm not worried about it, cause it feels like they're not supposed to be there. But Leo's not there, either, but it feels like he should be. It's storming outside, and everyone is really worried about Leo not being there. It feels like something bad is about to happen." He paused, licking his lips a little and biting his bottom one for a moment. "And then—and then something happens and Leo's there and he's hurt."
"Whaddya mean, something happens?" Raph asked gently, when Donnie hesitated.
Donnie looked up at him, and then reached for the pictures, shuffling through them. He had never been the best artist, when it wasn't technical, and that was still true. But with the context he was giving them, his childish drawings took on a new meaning.
Donnie pushed one forward. "I mean, something happens. Sometimes I see it, and sometimes I just hear it, and sometimes Leo's just there, but it happens." The paper had a blue square on it, with a jagged hole in the middle, colored black, and what was clearly meant to be Leo on the ground under it. "There's always a broken window, and glass, and Leo hurt," he whispered out. He looked at the drawing, and then down again. "I don't like to draw him hurt."
Leo gave Donnie a squeeze, and April reached over to squeeze the small turtle's knee in support.
"What happens next, Donatello?" Splinter asked gently.
Donnie shuffled through the drawings again, and pushed another one forward, this time with lots of black stick figures, and green figures with their respective colors on them. Leo's was near a pink figure with red on top, and there was a gray and brown figure there too.
"People—ninjas—break in. They come through the windows, and crash into Aunt April's apartment. There's lots of them, and they're everywhere, even at the door. And I know that they don't wanna just hurt us, they wanna kill us." Donnie curled up more starting to tear up. "Aunt April has Leo, but he's too hurt to help, and I dunno if he's gonna be okay. But we fight and we fight and we fight. We managed to get down the stairs, but there's people in cool hats in the shop," he pushes another picture forward, black figures with brown smears over their heads, "and they fight us, too, only they're a lot better than the other ninja."
Donnie bit his lip again and looked over at April, before shuffling through the papers. "S-Sometimes this part happens, but sometimes it doesn't. But I hear Aunt April scream, and she doesn't have Leo anymore, and there's a huge man who I know is going to hurt her. But Raphie saves her."
He shoved a picture forwards, the pink figure of April looking small next to a big black square with a pink circle that has yellow on top. The adults all looked at each other. Hun.
"And then—" Donnie stopped, his breath hitching, like it does right before he cries.
Leo hugged him tighter. "And then what, little brother?" he said softly.
Donnie took in a gasping breath, and reached a trembling hand forward, pushing another paper forward. "And then he comes," the child whispered out.
On the paper was a figure drawn in more detail than the rest. Black and gray, with red eyes, and spikes coming out of him, it was clearly a picture of the Shredder.
Donnie teared up. "He gets there, and I get so, so scared. Because he's not supposed to be there. He's not supposed to be able to hurt us. But he hurt Leo, hurt him badly, and Leo's not moving as much as he was. We all try to fight him, but he beats us back. He steals my staff and uses it against Father, and I'm scared, because he could hurt Father, but also I'm fighting all these bad ninja without any weapons and they're getting closer and—"
Donnie cut off, and reached his hands up, wiping at his face, at the tears that were falling. "It's so scary," he said, his voice watery. "Uncle Casey gets there soon, on his motorcycle, through the store's window, and he helps, but there's too many of them still. We keep fighting, but Leo's stopped moving or talking and I'm scared he's dead." Donnie's voice wavered, but he kept talking. "We all run and hide in a closet, but then the closet gets locked from the outside, and there's smoke, and I know that we're gonna blow up."
Donnie was fully crying by this point. "We're gonna blow up, and Leo's hurt and might be dying and the ninjas were trying to kill us and we're all gonna die!" He curled in on himself. "We crawl out a hole in the back of the closet, but then Aunt April and Uncle Casey's building blows up. But we have to run, we have to get away because the ninja might still try to come after us. We're all hurt but Leo's hurt the worst and I don't know if he's gonna live or die, and that's when I wake up and—"
Donnie turned in Leo's lap, standing in it throwing his arms around Leo's neck. "It's so scary!" he wailed. "I don't want you to die! And it feels real! And when I wake up, and you're not there, I think it might be, and I get scared and then I just have to make sure you're alright the rest of the day, because it was so scary!"
For a moment, Leo just held Donnie close, shushing him and rocking him gently. "It's alright, Little Brother. I'm here. I'm not hurt and I'm alive. It's alright."
Leo looked at the others, who all looked a bit stricken. It was hard enough to understand what had happened at fifteen. How were they going to explain it to a six-year-old?
When Donnie had calmed some, Splinter reached out for him. "Donatello. Come here, my son," he said.
Donnie obediently went, immediately curling into his father's hold, little hand curling into his robe. Splinter smiled down at him and pressed his nose on his head. He pulled back just enough to be able to see Donnie's tear-streaked face.
Splinter took a breath. "Donatello. Do you remember what we told you when you started asking about the older turtle in purple in the pictures?"
Donnie sniffed but nodded. "Mm-hm. You said he was me, but an older me, and that the Time Scepter had made me a little kid again. And that while I was the same, I was also different."
Splinter nodded. "Yes, very good. That Donatello had many adventures with his brothers, as I am sure you will have one day. But not everything that happened to him was good," Splinter said gently. "Nor was everything that happened to this family."
Donnie looked up at Splinter, his brow furrowing as he tried to piece together what his father was saying. Splinter reached over and picked up the picture of the Shredder.
"We had thought all your memories from your previous life were gone, but it appears that a few have stayed," Splinter said.
Donnie's head shot up. "You mean—you mean it's real?" he said. "My nightmare is real?"
Splinter let out a heavy sigh. "It was a real thing that happened, yes," he said.
Donnie's head whipped around to look at Leo in horror. Leo just gave him a sad smile back.
"When we were fifteen," he said, "we defeated the Shredder—or so we thought. But he survived, and in revenge he decided to hunt me down." Leo's smile faded. "It was a rainy day, storming, and I was hurt very, very badly."
"We were staying at April's," Mikey said. "She and Casey weren't even dating yet, so it was just April's place. The Foot—those bad ninja in your dream—were hunting for us down in the sewers. We were just hiding out at April's hoping to wait them out."
"They did throw Leo through a window," Raph said. "And he was hurt badly. Worse than any of us had ever been hurt before." Raph's fist clenched. "And then the Foot Ninja came pouring through the window and we had to fight for our lives, just like you dreamed."
"I did try to take care of Leo," April said. "And we did fight our way downstairs. There was a big man, too, Hun, who tried to hurt me twice that night. Raph saved me the first time. Casey saved me the second."
"And the Foot Elite, the ones with the cool hats, they were there, too," Mikey said. "And they were really dangerous."
"I busted in just like you said, Little Man," Casey said. "Took down as many of those ninja as I could."
Splinter ran a comforting hand over Donnie's shell. "We fought hard but had to retreat to an old cooler that April was using as a closet. The Shredder set the place on fire, mostly likely cut the gas lines, and did blow up the building. We were fortunate in that there was a patched hole where a freezing unit used to be that we could escape through." He ran a soothing hand on Donnie's head. "But Leonardo was badly injured and growing worse at that point. We escaped up to the farmhouse, and Leonardo recovered there." He sighed again, although he smiled comfortingly at Donnie. "Your dream, my son, was more than a dream, but a memory."
Donnie had been tracking each person as they spoke, and now his eyes were fixed on Splinter. Horror and fear danced through them, even as he teared up again, and he began to tremble from fear. "It all happened?" he said, his voice soft, but horrified. "The spikey bad man is real? He's the Shredder?"
Don had known that the Shredder was a bad guy, but he hadn't realized how bad. His eyes teared up. "But—he can't get us again, right? We're—we're safe?" He looked over at Leo. "He can't hurt you like that again, right?" Tears began to fall. "Right?"
Splinter cuddled his smallest son to him, making sure to keep him as safe and secure as possible in his arms. "No. He cannot hurt anyone ever again." Splinter said, his voice firm. "Never."
Donnie turned into Splinter, burying his face in his fur, and crying. It took a few minutes for him to calm down again. "Can I sleep with you tonight, Father?" he asked, his voice muffled.
Splinter pressed a kiss to Donatello's head. "Of course you can," he said.
"And Leo, too?"
Leo smiled. "Yeah. I'll come, too."
"And Mikey and Raphie?"
"Why don't we just have a sleepover in the living room," Raph suggested instead, clearly seeing where this was going. Donnie peeked out from Splinter's hold and nodded a bit.
"You know what every good sleepover starts with?" Mikey said, standing up. "Dessert! Why don't we get into those peach turnovers that April brought over?"
Donnie sniffed. "Okay."
They ate dessert at the table, Donnie ending up back in Leo's lap again. After cleaning up, Donnie was carried into the living room, where he was passed from person to person while they watched movies, until April and Casey had to leave. After that, his brothers piled with him in the space they had made on the floor, Donnie in the middle, and Splinter nearby.
Donnie cuddled into the middle of the pile of warmth, listening to the TV and to the song Splinter hummed under his breath. He was still upset that the man in his dreams had turned out to be the Shredder, and that Leo had really been hurt so badly. The idea of anyone wanting to do that scared him. But here, with his brothers, he felt safe and protected. His nightmare was true, and that was scary. But his family was here, and they'd made it through. And right now? Right now, that was enough for Donnie. He cuddled in, closed his eyes, and let sleep take him. And anytime he felt restless or started to have a nightmare that night, well, a brother was always right there to soothe him back to sleep. Just like he knew they always would be.