HEALING
chapter 17
The hospital room basked in the gentle glow of the early morning sun, casting a warm, golden hue over the otherwise sterile surroundings. The translucent courtains danced in the breeze, painting intricate patterns of light and shadow on the walls.
Peace was restored into their hearts as well as in their room.
In the tranquility of their shared space, Maria and Georg had finally found solace. For nights on end, they had slept side by side in the narrow hospital bed of her room, refusing the kind offers of additional accomodations from the several nurses that checked on Maria at regular intervals. It wasn't the comfort of the bed that mattered the most to them, but rather the comfort of each other's presence and closeness. In the snug confines of Maria's bed, they found sanctuary, their bodies entwined in a cocoon of love and warmth, lulling one another to sleep through the calm pace of their breathing and the gentle touches of their hands.
As Maria stirred from her slumber that morning, Georg greeted her with a teasing smile, his eyes dancing with mischief.
- "Not too bad, just you and me ... just like during out honeymoon" he teased, a playful glint in his eyes after he noticed that she seemed to find herself more comfortable than usual.
Maria's smile lit up the room, her mind drifting back to the blissful days of their honeymoon, one of the happiest times of her life, when the world seemed to revolve around their love for each other and nothing else mattered.
Her sweet giggles faded into a tender silence only when she rested an arm above her husband's stomach to reach out and caress his side, her touch gentle and affectionate.
- "You know" she began, her voice soft and introspective, "I found out I was pregnant when we were still in Paris".
Georg's heart skipped a beat at her words, a surge of emotions welling up inside him. The topic of her pregnancy had been a delicate one, fraught with pain and uncertainty, and their only focus for the past twenty-four hours had been to get her to feel better. The fear that she might feel pressed to talk about something, was now making its way through his brain, but he was determined to stand by her side through it all.
- "You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready, my love" he reassured her, his gaze soft and understanding as he looked down into her eyes, her long curled lashes lighly closed before she opened them fully and met his gaze
- "Oh, but I want to" she insisted in a voice tinged with genuine determination, "and ... I owe it to you. It wouldn't be fair if I kept it to only myself- well, that's if you'd like to hear it" she hesitated for an instant.
Tender hope was sparkling in her eyes, something he was witnessing for the first time after the several ones they'd been faced with the thought of the loss of their child. He had never dared to ask or push her into saying things she wasn't ready to talk about, but this time something felt different. And he indeed would have loved to know more about it.
Georg's heart swelled with love and gratitude as Maria was about to open up to him, he was about to become part and become aware of the intimate details of what had happened in that brief moment of sheer happiness where his precious wife had carried their child, and he couldn't be any more grateful.
- "Of course, darling, of course" his lips smiled with a shy gentleness.
She smiled back at him, nestling herself back into his embrace as he leaned his cheek over her crown, ready and grateful to listen to whatever her gorgeous lips were about to reveal.
- "Remember that evening when you were playing cards with Raphael and the others and I was upstairs putting the children to bed?", Georg nodded.
Of course he remembered. The Ritters had invited them for dinner no longer than a couple of days after Raphael had reunited with Maria and yet, even Georg felt as if the people welcoming them were a true second family. They had welcomed them with open arms, their home radiating warmth and hospitality - from Carmen's delicious dinner to Raphael's captivating stories, and Hans' playful antics while playing card games, the evening had been filled with laughter and joy. And the delight in Maria's eyes as she played with those three adorable children with boundless energy and infectious enthusiasm. They couldn't be more different from their own children but if there was one thing they all had in common, it was that they adored Maria beyond measure. They had liked her instantly and never left her side throughout the whole evening, clinging to her even when they were so tired their lids were unconsciously closing as they walked. Despite the threatening exhaustion they insisted on being put to bed by Maria, eager to embrace the opportunity to cuddle the two tiny girls to sleep as a longing reminder of her Gretl and Martha.
Just a simple question had been able to make memories of their time in Paris flow back to him - the laughter, the love, the promise of a future together. And in that moment he knew that their bond was stronger than ever, forged in the fires of adversity and tempered by the enduring power of their love.
Lost in his thoughts, Georg was snapped back to reality only when Maria's voice filled his ears again, her words pulling him back into the present moment.
- "When Hans came in the nursery to check on the kids, he asked me if I was pregnant out of the blue. Of course I said no, but his question intrigued me, and I couldn't stop thinking about it ever since"
- "So, he knew?" Georg inquired, suddenly forgetting it wasn't the most appropriate question he could ask
- "No!" Maria giggled, her laughter ringing out like music "he only told me that it looked like I was. Not sure what he meant by that though, I mean, I was still flat as a board!".
Georg's lips curled and he groaned a soft laugh along with that of his beautiful wife, yet his mind somehow wandered into a corner of his memory and remembered that even though her figure was stunningly slim, his lips had been roaming on a skin that felt way different from a board. He pressed a kiss to her forehead just above her fringe as he smiled to himself.
- "And when do we get to the part where you praise my amazing physical shape?" he teased, his fingers dancing along her hips to tickle her lightly.
It was such a delight to see her struggle to escape his grip and yet surrender to its strength and comfort. He had longed to see her better for such an endless time.
- "Silly!" Maria playfully attempted to push herself up by pressing a hand against his chest but was still quite weak to do so, and instead settled for speaking as her weapon to stop him, "what I meant was that I couldn't see my tummy growing yet … but then I connected a couple of things. I thought it was you to drain most of my energy with your … delicious spoiling, but the food was so good I couldn't figure out why it would get me sick from time to time. So I decided to go for a blood test which just confirmed it all".
Her lips were smiling, and for a reason she couldn't understand, her hand had unconsciously drifted to her stomach, coming to brush its emptiness with the touch of her thumb. She looked down at it, lovingly yet in a gesture of longing.
- "I was so excited I could have screamed it to the whole world! But I thought it was better to wait a little longer, I meant to surprise you and the children the evening we would come back from our honeymoon, but then everything happened, and the right time never came …" Maria released a heavy breath.
Her excitement was palpable as she spoke her plans to surprise him and the childre with the news, her voice filled with hope and anticipation. But as she trailed off, concern crossing Georg's face.
Yet she brushed it aside, determination shining through as she continued her story.
- "I kept imagining the look on your face once I would tell you" Maria confessed, her voice filled with emotion, "I know we've never really talked of starting a family of our own, but, I think to speak for both of us if I say that it has always felt like a mutual desire" she looked up at him.
Georg nodded, his eyes affectionate and reflecting his thoughts as he listened to her words.
- "And one day we will, my love, that's one thing I'm sure of" he reassured her, voice steady and comforting
- "Do you really think so?" Maria's eyes sparkled with hope
- "Of course" he reassured, taking in a deep breath and slightly shifting on his side "this baby will never be forgotten, and I will love and mourn it immensely for every day to come ... but this doesn't mean that we cannot try again, when you'll feel ready. What happened to you both was out of your control my darling, and this- this only makes me hope we'll soon have another tiny little one filling our days".
Georg smiled at the thought, and Maria was quickly affected by his giggles, happy tears glistening into her beautiful blue eyes as they threatened to spill over.
She was deeply moved by Georg's compassion, the fact that her husband was willing to share in her grief for someone that he had not even known about - that for someone else might as well have meant nothing - meant more than the world itself to her. His words washed over her like a soothing balm, easing the pain of their loss and igniting a flicker of hope within her heart.
She pressed an affectionate kiss to his chest before nuzzling her cheek into him to settle, his lips smiling as they saught solace in their embrace while sharing a moment of quiet understanding.
- "Do you know if my old clothes are still here?" Maria asked softly, her voice barely a whisper, "the telegram with the blood test's results was in my pockets and it's the only actual proof of our baby's existence and I … I'd like to keep it if that's okay with you".
Georg was about to open his mouth to speak and reply his understanding agreement, but the sound of a door opening and steps entering the room, attracted their attention and caused their heads to turn towards the entrance.
- "Oh we have a chatty one today" a proud voice remarked, covering Maria's.
- "I'm sorry, I was feeling a little better today, so I thought I-".
Maria's explanation was cut short when Doctor Lehmann took hold of her wrist and gently adjusted the needle of her drip, ensuring its proper function.
- "Are you feeling any pain at all?" he inquired, his tone firm but concerned
- "Not at the moment, doctor. But I am still struggling to sleep, and the pain tends to intensify a little bit usually around midday" she replied, her voice tinged with exhaustion
The Doctor looked at her as if he had been expecting just that answer and quickly proceeded to check on the bandage of her skull, to verify that the scar was still healing properly after the surgery.
- "It is due to the sun, long exposure to bright light should be avoided, it's no help with the headaches" he explained, adjusting the bandage back in its place.
When he stepped away from the bed, Maria was sure he was done with his examinations and allowed herself to lean back on the pillow, needing her back to release the tension. Of course, she would have rather had her husband there instead of that mattress to lay on, but he had to slip out of the bed to allow Doctor Lehmann to carry out his work.
Once he finished his examination, Georg followed the doctor out of the room, stepping just outside the door arch.
- "Excuse me Doctor, Maria was wondering if her clothes are still here" he inquired seeking confirmation, yet leaving a certain confusion on the surgeon's face
- "Excited to go home already?" he remarked with a hint of amusement
- "The relusts that confirmed her pregnancy. That's what she needs, not really the clothes" Georg clarified, a light sense of urgency in his voice
- "You'll have to ask the nurses about that, but what I can tell you is that you are, indeed, going to bring her home".
Georg felt a wave of relief wash over him, his lips curling into a wide smile filled with gratitude. So much that he could not hide them behind his calm and still facade, he couldn't believe he had really heard him right. He sought confirm in the doctor's eyes and the mere hint of a nod was all it took for him to walk quickly paced steps back to his wife. Wasting no time in taking a seat on the side of the mattress, he lovingly cupped her cheek with his warm palm and gently caressed her until she turned her head to him, offering her attention.
It felt so reminiscent to when he had to tell her about the miscarriage, but he was smiling this time, as wonderful news were finally coming their way.
- "We're going home. Tomorrow" he announced, barely able to contain a smile
Maria's eyes widened in disbelief, and so did her smile, growing with enthusiasm at each passing second
- "You mean we'll be able to see the children?" she exclaimed eagerly.
That was his Maria.
She had just been discharged from the hospital after undergoing an unspeakable amount of pain and her mind had cared for nothing except seeing the children again.
God, he was aching for the nine of them to reunite. It sure meant that it would have been difficult to keep Maria under control. But that was a discussion for another time. Georg couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.
- "Easy now" he chuckled, urging her to lay back down, "we'll head streight to the children, but you need to take it easy, you don't need me to tell you that, my love. You are still unwell, your head still hurts, and your body still needs to- …"
- "… rest to recover" Maria finished his sentence with a knowing smile, "I will, I promise".
Her hand came to cover the top of his wrist to caress him tenderly with her thumb, her smiled filled with hope as she made a suggestion after a few seconds of silence.
- "Can we write a letter to the children now?" she suggested, her smile filled with hope
- "Of course, darling, of course" her husband replied, returning her smile.
He glanced over at the small desk in her room, spotting several sheets of paper. Most of them scribbled with treatments and recommendations that only trained nurses could efficiently decode, but he thought it easy to find a blank sheet.
- "There's plenty of paper here, let's write to our beloved family"
As Maria stepped outside of the hospital, a strong arm enveloped her, offering both warmth and support against the biting autumn wind brushing at her flushed cheeks. The sun's rays cast a comforting glow, but the chill in the air reminded her of the outside world that she hadn't experienced in what felt like an eternity. Lost in her thoughts, she barely registered the conversation around her.
- "You said you live in?"
- "Zurich"
The surrounding voices came into focus and became louder when a tightening of Georg's hand around her shoulder pulled her back to reality. When he met her gaze, he could instantly tell she hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention to the conversation just from the confused expression crossing her sweet, gentle face.
- "… we live in Zurich" he repeated himself for her, trusting she would quickly catch up from there.
And Maria nodded, reassuring him, her focus returning as she blinked away the fog of her thoughts. Doctor Lehman stood before them, engrossed in Maria's medical records in his hands as he lingered in a pensive expression.
- "Hum, that must be an hour's drive from here, not the best for her conditions, but it will do" he muttered, talking more to himself than to his listeners.
But his voice had been heard, clearly.
Not the best for her conditions.
Georg's heart skipped a beat when those words echoed in his mind, igniting a flicker of panic.
He wished he could speak the truth, every inch of his body wanted to scream it and go back on his steps. If an hour's drive wasn't ideal for her recovery, how could she endure the eleven hours train trip they had to face to reach Raphael and the children?
Maria was certainly nowhere near to well but the hospital's relentless pace demanded her release, there were so many other emergencies coming up every minute. Georg himself had seen it with his own eyes day after day during Maria's convalescence.
He couldn't ask to keep her there until they were out of danger, but he couldn't settle the two of them in a hotel for that lenght of time either. Not when he was the most wanted man in Austria and when it was just a matter of time before the Nazis could find him. And, in addition to that, while he still couldn't fanthom subjecting her to such a grueling trip, Raphael had been caring for the children way too long than he had intended and the thought of burdening Raphael with their prolonged absence gnawed at him.
No, with a heavy heard he was forced to realize that taking that train was their only alternative. Their only painful alternative.
Then suddenly, he became aware that he had gotten lost in his thoughts for a little too much as four sets of eyes were staring at him, waiting for his words to come out.
- "Yes Doctor, I'll make sure she gets all the care and rest needed, as soon as we reach home" he finally spoke after clearing his throat, looking down at her eyes, wide and grateful for his restless care.
His arm extended to shake hands with that good man that had saved his wife's life, a firm shaking filled with gratitude and hope, hope that what they were about to embark on wouldn't have thwarted his efforts.
Seeing Doctor Lehmann turn his back and walk back into the hospital felt somewhat strange, they had practically lived there for way longer than a few days, but that hospital, once their refuge, now felt like a distant memory as they prepared to face the challenges ahead.
- "Off to the children now" Maria smiled brightly at her husband.
Georg smiled in return at her contagious excitement, his love for her swelling at the sight of her joy. His hand moved to the small of her back, leading her to the car as he made arrangements for everyone's comfort.
One of its back doors was opened to allow Max to better see and figure out how to get into the car without falling and hurting his leg any further.
- "Mind if I let her sit in the front? I want to keep a close eye on her" Georg explained, holding a hand out for his friend to lean into as he lowered himself
- "You have to, she'll need it" Max breathed briskly, gesturing forward with his head before dropping himself on the back seat.
Georg's own head whipped to the side, that 's when his eyes locked onto the sight of Maria, standing wordlessly in before the car. Her face, drained of colour save for her tear-filled blue eyes, red and swelling and threatening to spill out, betrayed a turmoil of emotions.
Christ, he muttered angrily under his breath.
In the frenzy of her hospital discharge, he had forgotten to mention that they would be travelling to the station in a Nazi car.
No, not just a Nazi car but the Nazi car.
The same car in which she had been violently dragged into after being kidnapped, the car where she had been petrified as they brought her to that hell of a base, the car from whose windows she had seen her family for the last time, through tearful eyes soaked in sheer fear. The vessel of terror during her abduction, the symbol of the horrors she had endured.
Georg was at her side in an instant. He rushed to her without hesitation, his heart aching at the sight of her distress.
He took her cold hand into his offering what little comfort he could, it was trembling like a leaf in the wind.
- "I'm sorry, darling" he whispered, but his words seemed to fall on deaf ears.
Maria seemed tormented, torn, devastated - and she was. There was no space for her to be angry at herself for showing him her pain in such a moment, her mind had no longer control over her body now, she had forgotten it all – how to breathe, how to stand, how to think. She could only gulp loudly, fiercely blink her gushing tears, stare wordlessly and let those vicious sobs wreck through her. Her anguish palpable as she succumbed to waves of inconsolable sobs, her husband wished he could shield her from those painful memories.
Georg's arms enveloped her in his embrace, firm around her unresponsive body. He wished he could have burned those Nazi flags covering the vehicle with his own breath but following the incessant flicking of her puffy eyes, he realized that they were not unfocused. Instead, they were unmovable from perhaps the very reason of this painful crying spill.
The rustled metal stink was already enough, but the worse thing was that it was her blood.
The blood she had spilled at the hands of those blasted soldiers, the blood she had risked her life for, the blood her child had died for. It had been a pool once but it had soaked everything now – the headrest, what was supposed to be her seat for the ride, the armrest – if her vision hadn't been too blurred with tears, she could have also noticed the brushes and spots Georg's hands had left when he had adjusted her in her seat.
The sight turned his stomach, but he refused to let his own horror overwhelm him. He needed her, desperately, and since her body was not responding to any of his words, he focused on comforting her, guiding her gaze away from the painful reminder and crushing her into the strong, hopefully soothing embrace of his arms.
His grip was firm, steady, yet gentle and reassuring, her head listlessly leaned onto his chin, something he had to be grateful for as it allowed him to press countless deep kisses to her hot forehead, in an attempt to soothe and calm her.
- "Darling, I'm so sorry. Please breathe, look at me, I'm here" he pleaded, his voice almost wavering, "breathe, just like that".
It took him an enormous effort to blink back the hot, angry tears prickling his eyes but despite it all he was determined to be a steady anchor in the storm of her emotions. And so he breathed for her, aware that if for some reason he ever stopped, she would be choking on her breath soon.
- "There you go" his voice seemed to breathe in relief.
Long minutes had passed by, but her sobs were subsiding at last, and Maria was finally coming down from the overwhelming daze that had taken over her. Her hands found the strength to curl around her husband's shoulders and she allowed herself to feel his lips soothingly brushing her skin.
- "I'm sorry you had to see this" she apologized in a sob, "it's just that I-"
- "Maria, darling" Georg's hand brushed the most tender caress on her soaked cheek, "it would have been strange if you didn'thave any reaction, I should have known" he murmured, voice filled with understanding.
As Max stood guard, Maria found herself momentarily alone by the car, her gaze drifting to the ground, lost in a whirlwind of emotions. Meanwhile, Georg hurried back to the hospital, returning only after he'd been generously provided with a bundle of thick towels and covers that with careful hands he arranged them over to shield her from the blood-stained seat before letting his wife on board.
Though the situation was far from comfortable and ideal for her, Georg couldn't help but notice a glimmer of kind admiration in Maria's eyes as he started the car. It was a small gesture, but he hoped it offered her some semblance of comfort in the midst of their turmoil. An affectionate attempt to take the best out of a situation where there was nothing good at all to take.
Their journey ahead was fraught with uncertainty and danger. Sneaking into a surely supervised station and boarding a train to France would have been no easy feat, especially with Maria's fragile condition. But as Georg glanced at her, determination flickered in his eyes. He didn't know how if she, him or Max would have made it to the other end of the new challenge they were about to embark, but they were bound for one destination, and nothing would deter them.
Off to the children, as Maria had said.
Yes, he must have held onto this only thought, to the only thing that mattered.
With that thought anchoring him, Georg pressed down on the gas pedal, speeding off into the unknown. As they drove, his hand found Maria's, intertwining with hers in a silent promise of support, her that she was not alone.
Author's Note: Hello everyone, I'm not known for my puntuality but now it's been a really really long time. But for those that kindly decided to stick around, I thank you deeply for your patience and your affection towards this story. Over the past week I've received so many lovely reviews that made me feel like writing and publishing again, so a big heartfelt thank you goes to all of you wonderful readers. I hope to be more consistent with the next chapters, there are quite some surprises ahead for our favourite couple and I would be immensely grateful to see you back here, much love.