"Can you explain why you've decided to ask me for lunch?" asked the Third Hokage.
Iruka-sensei cleared his throat. "I'm concerned about Uzamaki Naruto. You know he would love to replace you…" The Third Hokage already started to doze off and think about his hot deceased wife. He was in his sixties and was slowly starting to lose his grip on reality.
"I've seen you've taken him out for ramen quite a lot, I thank you for that. Say, how's the Uchiha kid doing?"
"The usual."
"And that would mean?"
"Okay for him."
"But not okay?"
"Yeah."
"He hasn't tried to kill himself." Iruka let out a big sigh. "Again."
"He has before?" Iruka shuddered like the mere memory was too much.
"Yes, it-it's a long story sir."
"Well I'd like to hear it," said Kakashi. He was just standing at the door. Godamnit! I think I blacked out again!
"Hatake, come in." Kakashi took a seat at the table.
"So, di-did they pass?" asked Iruka nervously.
Kakashi then recounted a long and horrific story of what they did.
"Jesus," said the Third Hokage. "I didn't know those three were capable of that. I mean, I thought Uzamaki could at least pull a prank or two. And the Uchiha kid…I was expecting for him to finally break and become the sociopath we were all expecting him to be. But Haruno Ha-Sakura? She was the one student I thought would never pass. I would stare at them with my crystal ball, and no offense Iruka, but those are not a good crop of students." Maybe they've improved when I lost that thing about a year back. God I need to get a replacement, remember that Hiruzen, get a…
"None taken, I've taught them."
"Speaking of them, can you tell me more about them?" asked Kakashi to Iruka.
"Kakashi, you've never shown interest in your students before!" exclaimed the Third Hokage.
He gave a soft chuckle. "These kids are different." He turned back to Iruka. "So?"
"Well with Naruto, as you know, he was very lonely. He has a weird addiction to ramen."
"Yes I know," Kakashi sighed. "Does he have a reason to like ramen so much?"
"Well, I mean I've never asked him. But before I started to take him to that place he would eat tissues and bite himself. I think he drank his own piss too. I happened to come across him because the Hokage wanted me to deliver something to his neighbor's house and I got the number wrong. I was in so much shock I took him to the closest restaurant I could find and that was that ramen place. He's always demanded to go there ever since."
"Oh god," said Kakashi.
"I-I didn't know he was living like that?!" exclaimed the Third Hokage. "I didn't…" The two men looked at him with mild disgust in their eyes. He simply sighed and accepted there was no way he could turn this around.
"Anyway," said Iruka. "Then there's Sasuke. Where do I even begin with that kid? Well you know his entire clan died by his brother. But right now he seems to be doing pretty well…for him."
"And that would mean?"
"It's a long story, please man."
"And his relationship with Naruto?"
"I think Naruto helped him out once and they've been…what they are forever since."
"Iruka you can be frank with me, are they fucking or not?"
"Kakashi!" exclaimed the Third Hokage. "I really doubt they are at this age…well you were at this age but…" Iruka looked like he had walked into a couple having sex, but he continued.
"And then there's Sakura. Well, you know…"
"Yes, I know."
"You didn't have sex with her mom right?"
"What? Of course not! She's way too old for me. Now the sister however…"
Iruka took out a cloth to wipe his bleeding nose. The Third Hokage just sighed. He didn't need images of hot women in his head right now. "But seriously, I wonder what made her so…violent?"
"I sometimes wonder that too," said Iruka.
…
Mebuki Haruno.
Some would say she was the goddess Aphrodite in human form. Others would say she was a slut. You know what she would say? Her back hurt. Yes, just that. She had h cups you know. She grabbed them to give her back some relief and then the door handle could be heard opening. "Kizashi?"
"Hey mom-Ahh!" In an instant Mebuki was already by the door.
"(What are you doing so late?! Have you been hanging out with the boys?! Don't tell me they've defiled my flower?! Tell me those bastards names right now!)Qu'est-ce que tu fais si tard ?! As-tu traîné avec les garçons ?! Ne me dis pas qu'ils ont profané ma fleur ?! Dis-moi ces noms de salauds tout de suite !
"(Uchiha Sasuke and Uzamaki Naruto)Uchiha Sasuke et Uzamaki Naruto." Mebuki let out a sigh of relief.
"(Thank God)Dieu merci."
"(Why?)Pourquoi?"
"(Stop messing around)Arrête de déconner."
"(But I seriously don't understand…)Mais je ne comprends sérieusement pas…"
"(Wait? Naruto?! You mean the Naruto?)Attendez? Naruto ?! Tu veux dire le Naruto?"
"(Yeah?)Ouais?"
"(Jesus, you can't be talking with him!)Jésus, tu ne peux pas lui parler!"
"(Why?)Pourquoi?
"(Because you'll lose all your friends. Those boys? They're losers, loners, lovers. But that's good for them because they're men, it'll make them stronger, soft little flowers like you will only get sick and lose value with each passing day. Don't you have Ino?)Parce que vous perdrez tous vos amis. Ces garçons? Ce sont des perdants, des solitaires, des amoureux. Mais c'est bien pour eux parce que ce sont des hommes, cela les rendra plus forts, de petites fleurs douces comme si vous ne feriez que tomber malade et perdre de la valeur chaque jour qui passe. Tu n'as pas Ino ?"
"(We fell out) Nous nous sommes brouillés.
"(She's a normal girl, she'll keep you on the right track)C'est une fille normale, elle te gardera sur la bonne voie."
"(Normal?)Normale?"
"(Boy crazy, like girls your age should be)Garçon fou, comme les filles de ton âge devraient l'être."
"(I am boy crazy mom, I have a crush on Sasuke)Je suis une maman folle de garçons, j'ai le béguin pour Sasuke."
Mebuki sighed. Picking a gay guy for a crush was the biggest tell of them all and yet it seemed her little flower didn't realize it. Or maybe she didn't catch the lovers part.
"(Sakura, you are…different from the other girls. But that's okay, we can fix it. You just need to focus on other boys, available boys)Sakura, tu es... différente des autres filles. Mais ce n'est pas grave, on peut arranger ça. Tu as juste besoin de te concentrer sur les autres garçons, les garçons disponibles."
"(Like who?)Comme qui?"
"(There's this one boy who has a crush on you. He should be out training right now)Il y a ce garçon qui a le béguin pour toi. Il devrait être en train de s'entraîner en ce moment." They left the house to go find that weird little Chinese boy.
…
"Sakura, this is Rock Lee," said Mebuki.
"Your first name is Rock?" asked Sakura.
"Yes, mademoiselle but you can call me Lee."
"If you don't mind me asking why are you called that?" asked Mebuki.
"My parents were neighboring farmers. One day my mom got drunk and broke inside my dad's room. Apparently she kept stroking him until he was 'Rock Hard' and since they both shared the same last name I got Lee."
"So I was right," said Mebuki. "You are an inceste bébé."
"Wait, what-," started Sakura.
"Lee," said Guy. "Didn't I tell you not to tell that story to strangers?"
"She asked sir."
"And don't call me sir, people already think I'm molesting you." He patted Lee on the head.
"Sorry about that. Lee's childhood isn't something we mention, ever." Two kids came out from the bushes. One was a girl with cute pigtails, brown eyes and a pink outfit. Sakura found herself immediately drawn towards this girl.
And the other girl was ugly as fuck. Long black hair and white eyes. Looked like that shy girl that was in her class back in academy. Hinata? That was her name right?
"Who are these people?" It's a dude?! This 'guy' spoke with a light German accent.
"We're Lee's suitors," said Sakura's mom. She just had to put in the we.
The pretty girl coughed. "You're Lee's what?! Did his parents send you?!"
"(Damn his motherfucking parents! They're always doing this! And they don't even spend any time with him!) Verdammt, seine verdammten Eltern! Das machen sie immer! Und sie verbringen nicht einmal Zeit mit ihm!"
"What?!" exclaimed Mebuki.
"Is that German?" asked Sakura. "I thought you were Chinese?"
"Both," said the guy.
"So what did you say?" asked Sakura's mom.
"Oh, just forget about it."
"Introduce yourselves," said Gai.
"Hyuga Neji," said the ugly dude. "I'm a genius and I'm going to beat that Japanese kid into a pulp!"
"You mean Sasuke?" asked Sakura.
"Yeah."
"I would like to do that as well," said Lee.
Neji grumbled and started cursing in German again. (Motherfucking copycat! You always say you want to do the same thing as me right after I say it, get a fucking personality!) Verdammter Nachahmer! Du sagst immer, dass du das Gleiche tun willst wie ich, direkt nachdem ich es gesagt habe: eine verdammte Persönlichkeit bekommen!"
"(No that is wrong! I have wanted to beat Sasuke since last September, you have wanted to beat him since last January you cunt!) 不，這是錯誤的！ 我由舊年九月開始就想打佐助，你由舊年一月開始就想打佢，你呢個屄!"
Guy looked taken aback at whatever these two were saying.
"Boys, think about what your non-existent mothers would say!"
Neji grumbled again. "Sir-."
"But mine is not dead!" argued Lee. Guy let out another hearty laugh and then his face darkened.
"I meant in your life Lee," said Guy.
"Anyway," said the pretty girl. "I'm Tenten Shùxué."
Sakura was taken aback.
"Tenten?"
"Yeah, I'm the eldest of ten siblings."
"What are their names?" asked Mebuki, concerned.
"Oneone, Twotwo, Threethree, Fourfour, Fivefive, Sixsix, Sevenseven, Eighteight, Ninenine and then there's me!" She pointed both fingers at herself.
"You're joking," said Sakura.
"Nope."
"Why the second number?" asked Mebuki. "Why not just ten?"
"The nurse in charge wouldn't allow it, said she would report them for child abuse."
"I feel like she should have anyway," said Mebuki.
Sakura walked a little closer to Tenten. "So, why are all of you out here so late? It's almost midnight."
"My dad wanted to go on a date and just abandoned me with my siblings so I put them to bed and I won't be coming back until well into the afternoon so he has to deal with them."
"Oh…god," said Sakura.
"My father just died," said Guy. "And the bar closed down."
"My dad just kicked me out of the house and told me if I don't come back with a girlfriend he's disowning me," said Lee. Once he saw the look of concern on everyone's face he quickly added, "But it's fine! He tells me this every Friday!"
"And you?" asked Mebuki worriedly.
"I ran away. I'd rather not talk about it."
"Poor boy," said Mebuki. Neji scowled slightly. "Anyway, I'm here to ask if Lee here will accept the gift that is dating my little flower."
"Little flower?" said Neji.
"It's giving groomer vibes," whispered Tenten.
"Of course madam," said Lee. He grabbed Sakura's hand and kissed it. Sakura felt nothing and simply stared blankly at Lee.
"And now they're doing an arranged marriage," muttered Neji.
"Isn't she just a year younger than us?" asked Tenten.
They headed back home.
…
Sakura sat alone in her room. She began to pick at her skin. The packet of noodles her mother bought just laid on the side of her bed. Since her father worked in business they had never had a family meal together.
She began to think of her new boyfriend. I feel so bad for him. Maybe I should just accept that Sasuke doesn't like me. Dating Lee can't be that bad.
…
There was a knock at the door in the morning. Sakura headed down and answered it.
"Yes, hello?" She paused when she saw who it was. "Rock Hard-I-I mean Lee!"
"Hello my love." He showed the hand he was hiding behind his back and revealed sakura flowers.
"Oh thank you," said Sakura. "I've never gotten flowers before-Ahh!" Standing at the doorway was Kakashi sensei. Lee turned around and screamed as well, falling straight on his ass before getting back up again.
"Don't worry my love, I'll protect you from this pervert!"
"Lee, Guy sensei said he's moving to the sand village."
"What!?" Lee ran off without a word.
Kakashi let out a chuckle. "Daddy issues, works every damn time."
"Um, what are you doing here?"
"You passed. I can't believe you didn't even check up on me."
"No offense but we really don't like you."
"Well too bad because you're stuck with me for the rest of your ninja career. But don't worry. You might die young." Kakashi's eyes zoned out for three straight minutes before coming back. "To some, death is a gift. Not if it happens but when."
"Um, okay."
"Now let's find Naruto and Sasuke."
They headed over to Naruto's apartment complex and Sakura could smell the stench coming down from the stairwell they had yet to climb.
She pinched her nose. "What is that?!"
"If I had to guess it's Naruto's apartment," said Kakashi. "It's probably spoiled milk." It seemed like Kakashi was looking for something as he gazed around the place. He stopped when he found a nice big rock.
"Sir, what are you going to do with that?"
"What do you think?" He chucked it at one of the doors.
Suddenly the door opened and Naruto came out. He stretched out his back and used his right hand to wipe off the milk on his lips. The stench got even worse and the complaints of his neighbors could be heard. "Okay you motherfucker you better be prepared for me-."
"Oh god!" exclaimed Sakura as she pinched her nose. "What the fuck is that?!"
Naruto seemed to notice them. "Sakura? And…Holy shit! Y-y-your back! I-I thought you died!"
"Nope, now come on! Let's go find Sasuke."
They headed over to Sasuke house.
Sasuke's house was the Uchiha house. It was a pretty place and looked clean. Kakashi knocked on the door. Nothing happened. He knocked again. Nothing happened. At this point it had been fifteen minutes of pure, uninterrupted waiting. "Well I guess I have to break in-." The door swung open. Kakashi jumped back in shock and managed to land safely in a crouch position. Sasuke stood at the door with his left foot raised. He slowly put it down. He was wearing a baggy black shirt that said in pure white letters: Stop gatekeeping goth culture! All in front of a middle finger. His eyes had huge black eyeliner and his lips had a bunch of clip-on piercings. Both of his wrists had spiky bracelets. He had dyed the tips of his hair navy blue. His pants were just black baggy pants that had been cut a million times.
"So after years of being called an emo, you finally decided to give in?" asked Naruto.
"I'm a goth, loser."
"Well good for you," said Kakashi. Sasuke finally glanced at the man's direction.
"Are you real?"
"I'd like to think I am?"
Sasuke sighed. "Still attracted to me now, Sakura?"
"Actually I have a boyfriend." All three guys looked like if they had any water in their mouths they would've spit it out.
"That's a joke right?" asked Naruto who looked like he was holding back laughter. "A five like you couldn't possibly…" Sakura glared at him and he shut up.
"Did you mean girlfriend?" asked Sasuke. "Cause you can date a girl, you know."
"No, I mean boyfriend." She put emphasis on the boy.
"Who?"
"Rock Lee?"
"You mean that in-Cantonese boy?" Sasuke stuttered.
"Yeah."
"You mean aspergers guy?" said Naruto. "Isn't he a incest baby? How are you supposed to have kids together if he's a incest baby?"
"Why do you assume we're going to have kids?"
"That's what women are supposed to do," said Sasuke. "You get married and have kids. The minimum is three per year in my family."
"Per year!?" exclaimed Sakura. "How does that work out?!"
"Incest," answered Sasuke casually.
"What?"
"Incest," he repeated.
"How do you think they keep that red eye shit in the damn family!?" exclaimed Naruto.
Sakura suddenly felt lightheaded. She took a couple of steps back and fell on her ass. Her entire world went out in a second.
…
They had taken her inside of Sasuke's house. Kakashi felt bad for the girl. She was too unprepared to be a shinobi. She had the skill but she couldn't handle the situations they were going to find themselves in. The kid would either become a Sasuke or one of many nameless extras that died during missions. Well that would be an insult to him…
He pushed the half crushed, dying body of that boy out of his mind. He didn't need another daymare.
The reason he was so worried was that female ninja were the most likely to die or get raped so Sakura had a even harder future ahead of her than these two boys. There was a knock at the door.
"I'll get it." Naruto opened it. Kakashi didn't even turn to look until he heard that annoying voice. Lee spoke with a normal accent at this point but at the beginning he sounded so Chinese no one could understand a damn word out of that kid's mouth. They would just nod along and pretend to understand. Not even the other Chinese kids, who mostly spoke Mandarin, came even close to deciphering the words of a six year old Rock Lee.
"Kakashi!" he shouted. Lee didn't yell or scream, just shouted firmly. "Guy sensei said that he was never planning to move to the sand village!"
"Ah, yes. Did I say Guy? I meant one of the other teachers."
"Ah I see-Sakura?!" Is he gonna storm into the house-he already did. Gah!
Lee was at Sakura's side in an instant. "It's okay my little flower."
"Do. Not. Start. Using. That," said Neji.
"You brought the whole gang? Great," he sighed. "Is Guy here too?"
"Unfortunately, he caught the stomach virus so we're pretty much free," said that German genius. The girl with the number name and Neji walked in.
"Is she gonna be alright?" asked number girl-Tenten.
"Yeah, she passed out from shock," said Sasuke.
"Why?"
"Trust me." Naruto closed the door. "You don't want to know."
"Do you want to fight?" asked Neji.
"What?" asked Sasuke.
"Do you want to fight?"
"No. Why would I do that?"
"To test our strength." Suddenly Sasuke's eyes got very distant. "Okay then," Neji shrugged. Neji left to go to the bathroom. Naruto just sighed and watched Sasuke. Muttering what seemed to be numbers under his breath.
…
Sasuke was seven when it happened. He had been rushing home from pr-training when he felt a presence. This presence was familiar but also new. It seemed to switch between the two as if in conflict with itself. What the… What is this feeling? He looked up at the moon where he could've sworn there was a shadow there just a moment ago. He then looked down at the road in front of him.
"What? What-What is this?!" What the hell is going on!? Sasuke did what any child would do in a situation like that. He raced to find his parents. He went to their room.
"Sasuke…," cried his mother. "Don't come in…"
"Father! Mother!" What the hell is going on!?
Sasuke opened the door
…
Blood. Blood. Blood blood blood blood blood blood bloodbloodbloodBLOOD!
…
"Father! Mother!"
…
Why!? Why!? Why!? Why!? Why!? Why!? Why!? Why!? Why!?
…
"Brother. They're dead. Father and mother are dead!" Your eyes look dead.
…
Ouch! The door closed. So did your eyes.
…
"Foolish little brother." You took a breath.
…
Eyes open. Red.
…
I screamed.
…
Red.
…
"As I expected, you are my child!"
…
Red.
…
"When he talks to me it's only about you…your father."
…
Red.
…
We are unique brothers. Forgive me Sasuke…another time.
…
Brown.
…
My body is on the ground.
…
"Why…did you…?"
…
"To test my strength."
…
"That's it? That's it!? You did all of this…for that stupid freaking reason?!"
…
You sighed. "You haven't even learned swear words yet. One day you will and one day they'll be directed at me. But yes, it was essential."
…
"What's…that…complete crap!"
…
I'm off the floor now.
…
Scared…Scared!
…
We're outside now. You stood in front but not away from me.
…
"You can't be my brother. Yes…because…"
…
"The brother you wanted to spend time with has done this to ascertain your "capacity".
…
What!?
…
"I continued acting like the elder brother you desired, and I became your companion to see if that potential lies hidden. You found me disagreeable and hated me. You continued wanting to surpass me, because of that, I will let you live…
…
"For my sake."
…
"You can awaken the Mangekyou Sharigan like me. But there is a requirement."
…
"You must kill your closest friend."
…
"Ouch!" Sasuke gripped his head. Naruto was standing over him. He had slapped him in the back. It wasn't hard and yet it hurt quite a bit. "I told you not to help me until three minutes had passed."
"It's been fourteen you fuck!" Really? How long was I there? It felt like…it felt like…like…nothing.
Sasuke sighed. "I know I have a problem but do you really have to point it out to me all the damn time?"
"Yeah, I do. Because you won't get help."
"Maybe I don't want to get help and it's not exactly like you have any right to judge me."
Naruto pointed at himself. "Name one thing I've done that's worse than…" He stopped when he remembered Kakashi was in the room. He was reading his porn book and sitting in a rocking chair. Sasuke was thankful for that as there was nothing Naruto might've said that wouldn't embarrass him deeply. "You know."
"Pissing on a kid." Kakashi made a startled cough and turned the page of his book. When he thought they weren't looking he turned it back. So much for looking nonchalant.
"That wasn't that bad," Naruto whispered.
"Yeah?" Sasuke whispered back. "Let's talk about how you learned how to do shadow clones…" Kakashi got up and left. Sasuke now talked at full volume. "Did you really suck someone for knowledge?"
"No, I sucked him for food."
"What?"
"Ichiraku got closed that night and Iruka-sensei went off on some date. I was all alone again. So I went to the hot springs because I was bored and this guy was there. He told me 'You look hungry. I have food.'
So I was like, 'What do I have to get this food?'
And he said, 'Not much. Just suck my dick.' So I did and when I was done he told me that was the food and started laughing his ass off. So I bit his dick. I was going to beat the shit out of him but then he told me if I didn't kill him he'd teach me a forbidden technique. And at first I didn't believe him, but then he made seventeen shadow clones so I gave him a chance."
"That was an interesting story," said Tenten. "I never want to hear it again, but interesting."
"Gah! You heard all that woman?!" exclaimed Naruto.
"Why does it matter if I'm a woman or not?"
"Why?" asked Naruto. "Because females wouldn't understand our manly conversation."
"Yeah," said Sasuke sarcastically. "Because dick sucking is so manly. It requires double the man, you know."
"Yeah, now that I think about it. It does, doesn't it? Lack of man equals more manliness. Hey Sasuke, maybe we should make out. You know…in a totally necessary and not gay way."
"Why?" Sasuke could feel the blush showing on his cheeks.
"To become more manly?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"I don't know, like for practice? Shits and giggles? I feel like if I do this something is going to change-."
"You are not doing this in front of me," said Tenten. She took her seat at where Kakashi used to be. It made Sasuke even more embarrassed and happy to realize people thought he would actually do this.
"No Naruto. I don't want to make out with you." While Sasuke hated his brother, one thing the guy knew how to do was get laid. He had to appear cold and distant at all times, but close at the same time. He groomed himself obsessively, even waking-no, getting up in the middle of the night to take care of himself. Looking like he took care of himself was more important to him than actually doing it. Brushing his hair was easier than sleeping. Clipping his nails was more fun than eating three meals a day. Taking a bath was more comfortable than going to therapy.
"Oh, okay then. Hey, what were you going to say back there?"
"Back where?"
"When everyone thought you were about to die."
"Be more specific."
"I love…And then you never finished the sentence."
Sasuke had his suspicions since Naruto said 'back there.' He knew this moment would come as it was simply inevitable. Naruto wasn't as dumb as most people would like to believe. He actually noticed quite a lot. So Sasuke had prepared an answer a while ago but he'd still like to avoid this subject as much as possible.
"I love my family," said Sasuke. "I know I don't really bring them up, but I do. A lot really. I just wanted someone to know that before I died."
"Aww, that's so sweet," said Tenten. She had tears in her eyes.
"Well I never thought you hated them, but that's so nice that those were your last words. Mine would've been…I love y-…um, ramen."
"Seriously, do you love ramen more than you care about me?" He made sure to use care and not love as to now imply anything or make things awkward.
"Yeah, I do. Sorry buddy. Maybe if you made me free ramen whenever I wanted, that could change."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Of course that would be your answer." I can barely make food for myself, but I'll try. Itachi, goddamn you and your undeniable talent for flirting.
Sasuke rested his head on Naruto's lap. He closed his eyes and fell asleep as Naruto stroked his hair.
…
Sakura woke up and standing before her was Tenten in nothing but a sweaty pink sports bra. She didn't dare let her gaze drift below that.
"You're up."
"I, um, yeah I'm up!"
"Yeah, we can tell."
"You're Chinese right?"
"Yep. Almost everyone on this team is."
"Almost?"
"Neji is…complicated."
"Yeah." She glanced around the room to check if that guy was anywhere nearby. Naruto was stroking Sasuke's hair as he sat on his lap. She was taken aback with how peaceful the guy looked. She looked back at Tenten. "Tell me about it."
"He's so annoying, that's probably what you think. But he's like that because he's suffered a lot. His grandmother is his mother and his father is her son." Sakura nearly fainted again. And to think I used to wish I was a part of a cool, powerful clan when I was younger. I dodged a motherfucking bullet that's for sure.
"Are you okay?" asked Tenten.
"Yeah. Totally." That German guy walked out of the bathroom.
"Are you two gonna kiss?" he asked.
"What's it to you?"
"I would like a warning. We have the decency to do that at my household." He looked over at Sasuke. "Is he up, boy?"
"Don't call me boy!" exclaimed Naruto.
"I'm a year older, I can and will call you whatever I want." Naruto jumped up from his seat causing Sasuke's head to fall down to the ground.
"Sasuke!" Sakura exclaimed. Sasuke jumped up and backed himself into a wall. His eyes looked manic. And for a second they looked red. Sakura wondered what the hell went on in that mind of his.
Naruto continued to scream at Neji. Neji just stared at him blankly and with dead eyes.
"Naruto cool off! Nija. I would like to fight you." Neji scoffed at Sasuke getting his name wrong.
"Good. May I ask why the change in mood?"
"No, you may not." The two headed outside.
…
Sasuke didn't even realize he had been biting his lip until Neji pointed it out.
"I have no issues if you want to hurt yourself but I would feel concerned if you weren't aw-."
"I'm aware."
"Jesus, your balls drop and your voice sounds like a twenty something year old and now you think you're hot shit! Well, those eyes certainly look like a twenty year old. You and Kakashi sensei should get along well."
"Shut up! I don't need your opinions on my mental health. You don't know shit!"
"You're right, I don't. Just don't kill yourself after I remind you of your place like that Shisuicide guy did, you emo." This bastard! Sasuke charged at Neji. Sasuke smashed his spiky wrist against Neji's face. Neji just ducked. "Sorry it was Shisui right? Kind've ironic." Now Sasuke used his fists to punch the bastard.
"Byakugan!" he yelled. Yeah, we get it man. Who shouts their next move anyway-Oh! Neji poked at Sasuke, each tap feeling like a knife was being stabbed into the goth's skin. Sasuke didn't even have time to scream. What…is…this? He knew the Hyuga's kekkei genkai was superior to the Uchiha's, but this? This was something else. Like it wasn't even human. Sasuke landed on the ground on his back with a loud thump. "You're right, you can't gatekeep the culture of the mentally ill, nor should you. But I suggest taking it slow before you go full on goth." Sasuke just laid there. He didn't pass out or anything. He just couldn't move. Neji left.
…
The sun is hurting my eyes.
…
What did that bastard do to me?
…
"Sasuke!"
…
Naruto. You look even prettier at this angle. The way your hair frames your face. Those pretty blue eyes. I used to think they were ugly. You beautiful boy. If you had been born into a rich family and had been well groomed you would've looked so attractive…but I'm happy with what I have now.
…
Getting picked up feels weird. But the bed is comfortable. Wait? Is he kissing my cheek?
…
Holy shit! I kissed him! I actually kissed him!
Sasuke had turned in Naruto's direction without much thought, he simply wanted to see what was going on and what was going on was that the second he turned, Naruto's lips met his own. A couple of seconds had passed off them being like this and complete and utter silence was the only sound in the room. Neither of them had moved. Sasuke opened his mouth and gently pushed his tongue into Naruto's lips. They tasted like ramen and…spoiled milk? Naruto opened up his mouth and let Sasuke's tongue in. Sasuke touched everything with that tongue. Licking the insides of Naruto's mouth. It tasted even more like ramen. Sasuke was in bliss every second. Naruto seemed startled but also happy.
"What the hell am I watching?" said a voice that probably belonged to that autistic guy. The two immediately pulled apart. Standing at the doorway was Tenten, Sakura, Neji, and Lee.
"It's for our masculinity!" exclaimed Naruto. "It's not something you girls could ever understand!"
Lee raised his hand. "I am a guy and I still do not understand what this has to do with masculinity."
"Maybe you should try it and maybe then you'll understand!"
"Hey Neji-."
"No! Go do that to Gai-sensei."
"Get out of my house already!" yelled Sasuke. He was sick of seeing that guy's face.
"Gladly. Come guys, let's go." Team Gai left the house leaving Sakura.
"Kakashi-sensei left a while ago…What? Why do you keep looking at me like that? You think I didn't know before? It was so obvious. The way you two are obsessed with each other. And besides, I have a boyfriend now and he treats me waaay better than Sasuke could."
"Didn't he just try to make out with-."
"I know what he did! Everyone gets a little lost here and there, and he's like thirteen, and there's nothing wrong with a little experimentation, but in the end he is mine."
"That sounds creepy," said Sasuke.
"Whatever. Make sure to not get AIDS or HIV or whatever." Sakura skipped out of the house and closed the door.
Naruto turned his gaze to Sasuke and only him. "Now that that's over do you wanna talk about…us?"
"For the first time in my life I'm actually sleepy so I'm going to listen to my body for once. Didn't get a lot of rest from that power nap."
"Oh, okay then, see ya." As Naruto got up Sasuke grabbed his hand and held it. Naruto turned back to a smirk on Sasuke's face.
"I think I'll sleep a little better with you by my side."