"Ben's First Day of Daycare"
By EsmeAmelia
Chapter 2
The song went up to the little tooka clapping five times, and by then Ben was actually smiling as he clapped, which unknotted Han's stomach a little. Hopefully this was a sign that he was enjoying himself and would continue to enjoy himself.
"Great job!" Carda exclaimed once the song ended. "Now, it's time for drawing! Han, would you mind helping me pass out the art supplies?"
"Sure, I can do that," said Han.
The kids raced to the different tables – Han guessed that they all had assigned tables for drawing time, but Ben just kept sitting on the floor, squeezing Mr. Tookie in his lap.
"Ben," Carda said in that gentle voice, "do you know your colors?"
Ben nodded.
"Good," said Carda, "then why don't you go sit at the yellow table and you can draw a picture?"
Ben seemed to like that idea, since he scrambled over to the yellow table and settled himself into an empty seat, which also happened to be next to Delia. Maybe now they'd start to make friends, or maybe Ben would feel overwhelmed. Was there anything Han could do to help Ben make friends without forcing him to try to make friends?
Han and Carda placed boxes of crayons and markers on each table and distributed a sheet of paper to each child, Han giving Ben periodic glances the whole time to make sure he was okay. Delia seemed to be talking to him, but Ben didn't seem to be talking back. Did that mean he was uncomfortable or that he was just listening to what she was saying? Maybe both?
By the time all the art supplies were distributed, Ben was already scribbling on his paper. "Hey buddy," said Han, sitting on the floor behind Ben's chair. "What'cha drawin'?"
"Dunno," said Ben, who seemed content just drawing red loops over and over around the edge of the paper.
"Well you've got some pretty red loops to start with," said Han.
"Yeah," said Ben.
Then Han found himself wondering if Carda would judge the drawings. Surely she wouldn't, right? The kids were drawing for fun, not to live up to an adult's arbitrary standards, right? Still, his mind's eye started imagining Carda hovering over Ben and telling him in a stern voice that red loops weren't enough and he needed to draw more, plus he needed to color neat and inside the lines.
"What lovely drawings!" the real Carda suddenly exclaimed from behind Han. "Are you having fun?"
"Yeah," Ben said with a small nod. By now he had added some blue shapes inside the frame of red loops, making the drawing look like one of those abstract works of art Han had seen when Leia took him to museums.
"Good," said Carda. "I'm glad."
Han let out a long exhale. It didn't look like Carda would be judging Ben's drawings, at least.
Of course, when Ben started regular school in a couple of years, he might still face judgment for drawing what he wanted.
. . .
After drawing time came outside time. Again Han was asked to assist, this time with keeping track of the kids even though they would be playing in a small courtyard surrounded by sturdy fences on all sides. As he and Carda led the kids outside, Han breathed as sigh of relief at the sight of the playground. The ground was well-padded with sand, all the slides and climbing structures were just the right size for small children, and the swings had straps to hold the kids in place.
Carda told him to just circle the area and keep an eye on the kids, watch out for things like fights breaking out or anyone getting hurt. It sounded simple enough.
Until the kids all went rushing out to the playground at once, scattering like the sand they kicked up in the air.
"Don't worry," said Carda. "The two of us will keep track of them together."
"Where did Ben go?" Han exclaimed.
"He's fine," said Carda. "The kids can't get through the fence."
Of course Ben was fine – Han's sensible side knew that – but that didn't stop his stomach from knotting all over again, only relaxing when he spotted Ben climbing one of the small towers and running across the adjacent bridge.
. . .
Walk around the playground, scan for fights or hurt kids, walk around the playground, scan for fights or hurt kids. No fights, no hurt kids, at least not so far. The sand hampered Han's walking speed, meaning that if a fight did break out, he might not get there to break up the fight in time to stop someone from getting hurt.
"Hi Daddy!"
Han's head whipped around to see Ben at the top of one of the slides, waving enthusiastically. Han waved back, exhaling in relief that Ben at least seemed to be having fun.
But then Ben slid down the slide and tumbled into a heap at the bottom.
"BEN!" Immediately Han was rushing towards the slide, kicking up clouds of sand as he went. "Ben, Ben, are you okay?"
Ben was crying by the time Han reached him and several other kids had already gathered around, Delia included. "Ben?" she was asking. "You okay? You hurt?"
Han slid to the ground, not caring about the sand dirtying up his pants, and scooped Ben up into his arms. "Ben sweetie, it's okay, Daddy's here," he murmured. "Did you get a cut?"
Ben shook his head, though he kept sobbing.
"Good," said Han. "Does anything hurt?"
Ben shook his head again. "Sand!" he blubbered. "Sand all over!"
Now Han understood. Ben's landing had gotten sand all over his clothes and probably inside his clothes and now it was scratching his skin.
"What's going on here?" Carda's voice asked.
Han looked up to see the daycare lady towering over them. "Ben fell," he said. "Is it okay if I take him inside to clean up?"
Carda nodded. "Sure, go ahead." She leaned over to Ben's level. "It's okay Ben, your daddy's gonna clean you up. You're gonna feel better in no time."
. . .
Han took Ben to the refresher to shake the sand out of his clothes and wipe the sand off his skin, during which his crying gradually subsided. "I don' wike sand," he whimpered as Han wiped the last grains off his face. "It scratchy!"
Han restrained himself from snickering at his son's observation. "Yeah, sand's scratchy, all right. It gets in everywhere, too. But ya know what?"
"What?"
"That sand also helped you not get hurt when you fell. Sand's soft, that's why they pad up playgrounds with it."
"Yeah?" asked Ben, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
"Yeah." Han ran his hand through his son's hair. "So there's some good stuff about sand too."
. . .
Han and Ben returned to the playroom just as Carda and the rest of the children came inside. Once she caught sight of Ben, Delia ran up to him as if they were old friends. "Ben!" she exclaimed. "You okay?"
Ben nodded, a hint of a smile on his face.
"Great!" exclaimed Carda. "Well it's toy time now, so go pick out something to play with!"
"Wanna play, Ben?" Delia asked.
At first Ben curled his lips a little, like he was deciding whether or not he wanted to play with this girl he didn't know, but then finally he nodded again. "Yeah."
Han watched as Ben grabbed Mr. Tookie from his spot at the yellow table before joining Delia at the toy box. Okay, it looked like Ben was on his way to making a friend without any pressure from the adults, so why was Han's stomach knotting again? Oh hell, who was Han fooling; he knew exactly why his stomach was knotting again. Playing with another kid meant a fight could break out and that meant Ben could start crying all over again and get soured to the idea of ever trying to make friends.
But at least for now, there was no fight. Ben and Delia got a pair of toy X-Wings and they were now pretending to make them fly through space, Ben holding Mr. Tookie on top of his X-Wing like he was a pilot.
"Hey, thanks for taking Ben inside."
Han almost jumped at Carda's voice – somehow she had gotten next to him without him noticing. "No problem," he said.
"You know, sometimes parents and caregivers help out here as volunteers," said Carda. "I know you've got a part-time job now training novice pilots, but any time that your work lets out early or starts late, you'd be welcome to come help out. I'm sure Ben would love that too."
Han found himself smiling down at Ben and Delia, who were making flying sounds as they ran around with the X-Wings. "I'd like that," he said.
"Great," said Carda. "By the way, Ben seems like a wonderful little boy."
Now Han felt his chest swelling up. "He is," he said. "He absolutely is."
THE END